Follow your heart and intuition

Lolita

Wish I Had Said That Dept.

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.” – Steve Jobs

My feelings exactly! But easier said then done.


Trump's War on Transgenders Dept.

ICE prison for transgender immigrants never opened

Shortly after President Trump’s inauguration one year ago, America’s newest detention center for undocumented immigrants opened, just south of Dallas. The 707-bed facility had a unique feature: a protected, 36-bed pod exclusively for transgender detainees to keep those individuals safe from violence and abuse by the general population.

A year later, the unit for trans people still isn’t open.

Read the rest of the story here.


Trump-Pence Administration Refuses to Sign Statement in Support of Transgender

The Human Rights Campaign (HRC), the nation’s largest lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ) civil rights organization, strongly condemned the Trump-Pence administration’s refusal to sign a statement in support of an Inter-American Court of Human Rights’ ruling on marriage equality and transgender rights.

Read the rest of the story here.


And the beat goes on.

Wearing Madeleine (Source: Madeleine)

William Reynolds and William Phipps are dressed to kill for a girls' night out in the 1951 film No Questions Asked.

First Time

What was your first encounter with a crossdresser out and about among the civilians?

My wife and I were in New Orleans in 1984 for a speaking engagement at a ham radio convention. While in the Crescent City, we took in the World's Fair and visited the other sites that the city had to offer.

After walking around the French Quarter for an hour or so, we parked ourselves on a park bench in Jackson Square to rest and cool down. While seated there, I noticed a couple of crossdressers walking side-by-side through the Square. They were dressed as civilians not drag queens and tried to blend in with the other civilians.

Their height, flat posteriors and the fact that they were clearly wearing wigs gave them away to me. Not to mention that I was not the only person to notice them; there were a few gawkers, smirks and giggles as they passed by.

I was impressed with their courage to go out in public and to put up with the ridicule they encountered.

Doing the same myself a decade or so later, I realized it was not courage. Rather, it was the need to be authentic and damn the torpedoes of ridicule.

Wearing Gracia (Source: HauteLook)

Christopher Hewett dresses pretty for the Choreographer's Ball in the 1967 film The Producers. (I watched the film in ultra-high-definition on a 55-inch LED TV last night and for the first time, I noticed the other pretty frocks in his closet.) 

I Love Films

Romain Duris and Anaïs Demoustier in The New Girlfriend

I am a big movie fan. As I type this, I am watching one of my favorite movies, the original King Kong.

Always liked monster flicks. The first film I ever saw in a theater was Godzilla, King of the Monsters. That film gave me nightmares for years. I like Frankenstein and the Bride of Frankenstein, too.

I like good and bad science fiction films. The good: The Martian, the original The Day the Earth Stood Still, both versions of The War of the Worlds, 2001: A Space Odyssey, The Time Machine, The Man from Planet X. The bad: any 1950's or 1960's film with a flying saucer, dinosaur or a giant whatever.

I never saw a Hitchcock film I didn't like. North by Northwest is my favorite Hitch flick and it is probably my favorite film of all time. It also stars my favorite actor, Cary Grant.

I also like Tarantino films, especially Pulp Fiction and Jackie Brown. Other crime films I like include Godfather, Godfather II, Casino, Goodfellas, The French Connection, The Pope of Greenwich Village, The Seven-Ups and The Departed.

Comedies are among my faves, too. Any Marx Brothers film works for me and a lot of Woody Allen films are good for me, too. (Hannah and Her Sisters, Radio Days, Annie Hall and Manhattan are probably my favorite Woodman flicks.)

Humphrey Bogart is probably my second favorite actor and I like a lot of his films. His wife, Lauren Bacall, is probably my favorite female actor. Myrna Loy is right on her heels.

My father was in the Marines during World War II and carried home two Purple Hearts and shrapnel in his upper arm. Pop watched a lot of World War II flicks and I became a war film fan, too. The Great Escape, Apocalypse Now, Stalag 17, The Caine Mutiny, The Longest Day, Saving Private Ryan, The Deer Hunter and Mister Roberts are films I will watch anytime. The Sands of Iwo Jima gets an honorable mention; my Pop liked the film because he fought on Iwo and I like it, too.

I love John Ford westerns: The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, My Darling Clementine, Fort Apache, She Wore A Yellow Ribbon, The Searchers, etc.

I like chick flicks, too.

I don't care much for trans films. Most of them don't ring true, but there is one that I consider much better than the rest, The New Girlfriend. I recommend it highly.

Wearing Lulus (Source: Lulus)

Romain Duris femulates in The New Girlfriend, a 2014 French film

Resources for LGBTQ Students

Emily Sorenson and her tram at the Center for School, College, and Career Resources have just started a project to help LGBTQ students succeed in school. They compiled a series of resources to help these students succeed in school.

The first is a comprehensive guide created for LGBTQ students, allies, and other community members. It offers tips for knowing if a college is LGBTQ friendly and highlights the schools going above and beyond to welcome these students. It also explains the Campus Pride Index and includes an interview with Gary Howell, a staff member at Argosy University who works with AU Tampa’s Campus Pride group.

Resources and Expert Advice for LGBTQ College Students -
https://edubirdie.com/blog/resources-for-lgbtq-students

The second guide focuses on transgender students. It includes scholarships specific to the trans community, describes how to find a transgender-friendly college and provides a directory for additional resources to help with academic and extracurricular success. You can check out the entire guide here:

Resources for Transgender College Students - https://www.accreditedschoolsonline.org/resources/transgender-student-support/

The last guide in the series focuses on scholarships and financial aid available to LGBTQ college students. It's not only a list of funding opportunities -- there are tips on, for example, how to navigate applying to financial aid before coming out to family or if family is not supportive.

College Scholarships for LGBTQ Students - https://www.affordablecollegesonline.org/college-resource-center/lgbtq-scholarships-financial-aid/

Campus tour wear

Boys will be girls and girls will be boys at the Oberlin College drag ball

Monday

Like I said, "Monday."

The other "drag"

Wearing Hunter Bell (Source: Rent the Runway)

Sven Schelker femulates in the German film The Circle.

Someday Funnies

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

Vitaliy Gogunsky femulates Irina Allegrova on Russian television's version of Your Face Sounds Familiar.

Friday Femulations

Put Out the Fire Sale Dept.

My favorite clothing store, Dress Barn (aka Roz & Ali) is having a big clearance sale and the prices are to die for! For example, two dresses I bought this fall for about $49 each are now on sale for $14.99 each!

No Neutrality Dept.

Has anyone else noticed that their Internet access is slower since Trump's FCC killed net neutrality? My access via Comcast has slowed down noticeably the last two weeks. I hope it is due to something else, but I suspect the worst.

End of an Era Dept.

Aunty Marlena sent me this bit of anti-femulation news... "The Hasty Pudding Theatricals, an irreverent Harvard theater troupe that has not cast women since it began staging productions in 1844, announced on Thursday that, for the very first time, it would encourage women to audition this year."

I hope they did not make this decision in haste!

Fictional Femulating Dept.

The word "femulate" (which was invented for this blog) is now showing up in crossdressing fiction. The latest appearance of the term is in Amanda Hawkins' recent tale "The Feminization of Geofferson Janeway."

Wearing Nicholas (Source: Rent the Runway)

Mariusz Ostrowski femulating on the Polish television version of Your Face Sounds Familiar.

I think it's Thursday

Out of the Loop Dept.

Got out of bed, dragged a comb across my head and tried to figure out what day of the week it was. This has happened occasionally since I stopped working for a living and I usually figure it out before I brush my teeth. But this morning, it took me awhile and I still was not sure until I fetched the newspaper and checked the date!

On a similar note, weekends have lost their luster since I stopped working. I much prefer going out on weekdays when the adults are at work, the kids are in school and most of the people I run into are old men and ladies like me!

High Heel on the Other Foot Dept.

“In a parallel universe” is a series of fictional images, recreated from real ads in the mad men era, that question modern day sexism: showing it through a humorous light to spark a conversation through role play. Here is the link to this creative Madison Avenue gender role reversal: http://www.elirezkallah.com/inaparalleluniverse/

Wearing Dress Barn (Source: Dress Barn)

Behind the scenes at a womanless beauty pageant

Nailing It with Your Eyebrows

Tammy, had this to add to my Self-Feminization: Brows post.

I loved your article on eyebrows. Most girls have no idea how important improving your eyebrows can be. By having my eyebrows waxed once a month, I find I can navigate either world quite easily. By having trimmed eyebrows, you add just enough ambiguity so that others just aren't quite sure if you are a man or woman. It then takes very little extra to help them decide.

I live in the north where we get cold winters and we need to bundle up for shopping. Let me share a couple examples of what happens when I go out with a close shave, trimmed eyebrows, gender neutral winter clothes and a stocking cap.

Last week I went into a shoe store and was asked if they could help me find something. I just said I was looking to see what they had for sale. The saleswoman then asked, for men or women. Without any gender-specific clothing visible, I doubt that without nicely-trimmed eyebrows they would have asked that. They would have just sent me to the area where men's shoes were on sale.

I asked for women's shoes and was directed to that area. Awhile back my wife and I were leaving the grocery store with me dressed the same way. As we left, the cashier said, "Have a nice evening, ladies." Wearing less "gender neutral" clothing, I make it easy for others to put me in the "camp" I desire. When I dress fully feminine, the eyebrows don't give me away.

So how do you go about achieving these results? I started with the person that cuts my hair. She does both men and women's hair as well as eyebrow waxing. She always trims eyebrows of both her men and women clients. All it took was a couple of times saying, "I wish my eyebrows weren't quite so thick because it gets my glasses greasy," for her to say, "Well, we could always wax them." I said, "Sure, I'll give it a try."

I now have it done every month when I have my hair cut. After that, it was just fine-tuning the waxing with comments like "Maybe just a little thinner so they don't rub on my glasses," "How about a little arch at the end so they aren't so close to my glasses," "Maybe a little shorter because they grow so fast." And before you know it, I had eyebrows that work in either world.

If I go to a stylist in an area away from home, I just tell them I want them waxed very femininely. No one waxing my eyebrows has ever complained and not taken my money. Also, no one I know socially has ever asked me about my eyebrows. If someone ever did and I was the least bit concerned about their comments, I could always say, "I have them trimmed so they don't rub on my glasses" or "the woman that cuts my hair trims my eyebrows and got a little carried away." But being retired and not caring so much about what others think, I'd probably say, "Yes, I really like them, what do you think?"

With my eyebrows waxed and this knowledge, I feel comfortable going into any store shopping for clothes, regardless of the gender. If I want to go one step further, I just put on a stocking cap that is a little more feminine, then there's no question in most saleswomen's minds.

The results I shared so far are just wearing mainly gender-neutral clothes. Let me end by telling you about the last time I went out with a nice little black dress, full makeup, wig, etc. I stopped in a shop where the saleslady has helped me in both boy and girl mode (and know it's one person). Her comment was "Wow, you really nailed it!"

Ain't that the truth! Wearing Bebe (Source: Bebe)

Billy Budd, professional femulator in 1932

Femulate Wins!

The results are in and 9 out of 10 voters selected Femulate to be the winner of the 2017 Gender Blogs Awards!

Thank-you!

The 11th anniversary of this blog is February 5. Who would have thought, certainly not me, that the blog would still be going strong after all these years?

After one year, Femulate averaged 500 hits per day. After two years, 1500 hits per day. Then the hit count exploded and since that time, the blog has averaged over 5,000 hits per day, which is saying something!

So, thank-you again!

Self-Feminization: Brows

In this post, I continue to write about some of the things I have learned and used to feminize myself.

Uni to Girly

Brows can either make or break your entire look. I had a unibrow when I started to get serious about femulating. I did not have a solid unibrow, but there were enough hairs above the bridge of my nose that it was not very ladylike. So early on, I took a razor to that patch of hair.

In boy mode, nobody noticed that I now had two distinct eyebrows. (Wearing eyeglasses in boy mode also helped to disguise my eyebrow feminization.)

Emboldened, I bought eyebrow tweezers and an eyebrow trimmer. With the tweezers, I attacked the stray hairs and with the trimmer, I shortened any hairs that had grown to unruly lengths. The result was neater and more feminine brows. And in boy mode, nobody noticed.

Further emboldened, I began using the tweezers to thin my brows. I only thinned along the bottoms, never the tops because I had read in a number of places that you should not pluck along the tops of your brows because if you do, the hair will not grow back!

Still nobody noticed, so I kept on thinning and the result was a perfect feminine sweeping curve along the bottom of my brows, while the top was not so perfect.

I was a little frustrated until I visited our public library and took out a book titled Beautiful Brows: The Ultimate Guide to Styling, Shaping, and Maintaining Your Eyebrows by Nancy Parker and Nancy Kalish. The book deflated the advice about not plucking above your eyebrows and said to go ahead and pluck above, as well as below.

Immediately after reading that passage, I dropped the book, went to the bathroom and plucked all the strays above my eyebrows! Now my eyebrows, both tops and bottoms, looked neat and feminine and since then I continued to pluck and thin above and below. (By the way, the hair does indeed grow back above as well as below.)

This is a very tricky business, so take your time and go back and forth between your left and right brows so that they will look alike.

To color and define my brows, I use an Avon eyebrow pencil. Although my natural eyebrow color is light brown, I use a blonde eyebrow pencil because I found that using a brown pencil resulted in a brow that was too dark. Blonde is just right for me, so you too might want to go one shade lighter than your natural brow color.

Using an eyebrow brush, I comb out my brow hairs so they are lined up horizontally and pointing away from my nose.

Next, I sharpen the pencil to a very fine point and draw a line that defines the upper edge of my eyebrow. I start drawing the line above the inner corner of my eye (point A in the accompanying figure), angling upwards to the peak of the arch which is above the outer edge of the pupil of my eye (point B), then drawing the brow out to a point that lines up with my nose and the outer corner of my eye (point C). All the while I draw the line as close as possible to my existing brow hair.

After I define the tops of my eyebrows, I use the pencil to fill in the area below the line where the hair is thin or missing. Then I use the eyebrow brush to brush and even out the color I just applied.

Women generally have higher brow bones than men, resulting in a greater distance between the bottom of the brow and the eyelid. To compensate, use a highlighter to brighten the area under the arch and lift the brow even more.

Any questions? I will try my best to answer them.

Wearing Bebe (Source: Bebe)

Manuel Arte femulates Jane Russell and Frankie Kein femulates Marilyn Monroe in the drag show Faces in Santa Monica, California, 1986 (Source: University of California Calisphere)

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