Someday Funnies

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

Vitaliy Gogunsky femulates Irina Allegrova on Russian television's version of Your Face Sounds Familiar.

Friday Femulations

Put Out the Fire Sale Dept.

My favorite clothing store, Dress Barn (aka Roz & Ali) is having a big clearance sale and the prices are to die for! For example, two dresses I bought this fall for about $49 each are now on sale for $14.99 each!

No Neutrality Dept.

Has anyone else noticed that their Internet access is slower since Trump's FCC killed net neutrality? My access via Comcast has slowed down noticeably the last two weeks. I hope it is due to something else, but I suspect the worst.

End of an Era Dept.

Aunty Marlena sent me this bit of anti-femulation news... "The Hasty Pudding Theatricals, an irreverent Harvard theater troupe that has not cast women since it began staging productions in 1844, announced on Thursday that, for the very first time, it would encourage women to audition this year."

I hope they did not make this decision in haste!

Fictional Femulating Dept.

The word "femulate" (which was invented for this blog) is now showing up in crossdressing fiction. The latest appearance of the term is in Amanda Hawkins' recent tale "The Feminization of Geofferson Janeway."

Wearing Nicholas (Source: Rent the Runway)

Mariusz Ostrowski femulating on the Polish television version of Your Face Sounds Familiar.

I think it's Thursday

Out of the Loop Dept.

Got out of bed, dragged a comb across my head and tried to figure out what day of the week it was. This has happened occasionally since I stopped working for a living and I usually figure it out before I brush my teeth. But this morning, it took me awhile and I still was not sure until I fetched the newspaper and checked the date!

On a similar note, weekends have lost their luster since I stopped working. I much prefer going out on weekdays when the adults are at work, the kids are in school and most of the people I run into are old men and ladies like me!

High Heel on the Other Foot Dept.

“In a parallel universe” is a series of fictional images, recreated from real ads in the mad men era, that question modern day sexism: showing it through a humorous light to spark a conversation through role play. Here is the link to this creative Madison Avenue gender role reversal: http://www.elirezkallah.com/inaparalleluniverse/

Wearing Dress Barn (Source: Dress Barn)

Behind the scenes at a womanless beauty pageant

Nailing It with Your Eyebrows

Tammy, had this to add to my Self-Feminization: Brows post.

I loved your article on eyebrows. Most girls have no idea how important improving your eyebrows can be. By having my eyebrows waxed once a month, I find I can navigate either world quite easily. By having trimmed eyebrows, you add just enough ambiguity so that others just aren't quite sure if you are a man or woman. It then takes very little extra to help them decide.

I live in the north where we get cold winters and we need to bundle up for shopping. Let me share a couple examples of what happens when I go out with a close shave, trimmed eyebrows, gender neutral winter clothes and a stocking cap.

Last week I went into a shoe store and was asked if they could help me find something. I just said I was looking to see what they had for sale. The saleswoman then asked, for men or women. Without any gender-specific clothing visible, I doubt that without nicely-trimmed eyebrows they would have asked that. They would have just sent me to the area where men's shoes were on sale.

I asked for women's shoes and was directed to that area. Awhile back my wife and I were leaving the grocery store with me dressed the same way. As we left, the cashier said, "Have a nice evening, ladies." Wearing less "gender neutral" clothing, I make it easy for others to put me in the "camp" I desire. When I dress fully feminine, the eyebrows don't give me away.

So how do you go about achieving these results? I started with the person that cuts my hair. She does both men and women's hair as well as eyebrow waxing. She always trims eyebrows of both her men and women clients. All it took was a couple of times saying, "I wish my eyebrows weren't quite so thick because it gets my glasses greasy," for her to say, "Well, we could always wax them." I said, "Sure, I'll give it a try."

I now have it done every month when I have my hair cut. After that, it was just fine-tuning the waxing with comments like "Maybe just a little thinner so they don't rub on my glasses," "How about a little arch at the end so they aren't so close to my glasses," "Maybe a little shorter because they grow so fast." And before you know it, I had eyebrows that work in either world.

If I go to a stylist in an area away from home, I just tell them I want them waxed very femininely. No one waxing my eyebrows has ever complained and not taken my money. Also, no one I know socially has ever asked me about my eyebrows. If someone ever did and I was the least bit concerned about their comments, I could always say, "I have them trimmed so they don't rub on my glasses" or "the woman that cuts my hair trims my eyebrows and got a little carried away." But being retired and not caring so much about what others think, I'd probably say, "Yes, I really like them, what do you think?"

With my eyebrows waxed and this knowledge, I feel comfortable going into any store shopping for clothes, regardless of the gender. If I want to go one step further, I just put on a stocking cap that is a little more feminine, then there's no question in most saleswomen's minds.

The results I shared so far are just wearing mainly gender-neutral clothes. Let me end by telling you about the last time I went out with a nice little black dress, full makeup, wig, etc. I stopped in a shop where the saleslady has helped me in both boy and girl mode (and know it's one person). Her comment was "Wow, you really nailed it!"

Ain't that the truth! Wearing Bebe (Source: Bebe)

Billy Budd, professional femulator in 1932

Femulate Wins!

The results are in and 9 out of 10 voters selected Femulate to be the winner of the 2017 Gender Blogs Awards!

Thank-you!

The 11th anniversary of this blog is February 5. Who would have thought, certainly not me, that the blog would still be going strong after all these years?

After one year, Femulate averaged 500 hits per day. After two years, 1500 hits per day. Then the hit count exploded and since that time, the blog has averaged over 5,000 hits per day, which is saying something!

So, thank-you again!

Self-Feminization: Brows

In this post, I continue to write about some of the things I have learned and used to feminize myself.

Uni to Girly

Brows can either make or break your entire look. I had a unibrow when I started to get serious about femulating. I did not have a solid unibrow, but there were enough hairs above the bridge of my nose that it was not very ladylike. So early on, I took a razor to that patch of hair.

In boy mode, nobody noticed that I now had two distinct eyebrows. (Wearing eyeglasses in boy mode also helped to disguise my eyebrow feminization.)

Emboldened, I bought eyebrow tweezers and an eyebrow trimmer. With the tweezers, I attacked the stray hairs and with the trimmer, I shortened any hairs that had grown to unruly lengths. The result was neater and more feminine brows. And in boy mode, nobody noticed.

Further emboldened, I began using the tweezers to thin my brows. I only thinned along the bottoms, never the tops because I had read in a number of places that you should not pluck along the tops of your brows because if you do, the hair will not grow back!

Still nobody noticed, so I kept on thinning and the result was a perfect feminine sweeping curve along the bottom of my brows, while the top was not so perfect.

I was a little frustrated until I visited our public library and took out a book titled Beautiful Brows: The Ultimate Guide to Styling, Shaping, and Maintaining Your Eyebrows by Nancy Parker and Nancy Kalish. The book deflated the advice about not plucking above your eyebrows and said to go ahead and pluck above, as well as below.

Immediately after reading that passage, I dropped the book, went to the bathroom and plucked all the strays above my eyebrows! Now my eyebrows, both tops and bottoms, looked neat and feminine and since then I continued to pluck and thin above and below. (By the way, the hair does indeed grow back above as well as below.)

This is a very tricky business, so take your time and go back and forth between your left and right brows so that they will look alike.

To color and define my brows, I use an Avon eyebrow pencil. Although my natural eyebrow color is light brown, I use a blonde eyebrow pencil because I found that using a brown pencil resulted in a brow that was too dark. Blonde is just right for me, so you too might want to go one shade lighter than your natural brow color.

Using an eyebrow brush, I comb out my brow hairs so they are lined up horizontally and pointing away from my nose.

Next, I sharpen the pencil to a very fine point and draw a line that defines the upper edge of my eyebrow. I start drawing the line above the inner corner of my eye (point A in the accompanying figure), angling upwards to the peak of the arch which is above the outer edge of the pupil of my eye (point B), then drawing the brow out to a point that lines up with my nose and the outer corner of my eye (point C). All the while I draw the line as close as possible to my existing brow hair.

After I define the tops of my eyebrows, I use the pencil to fill in the area below the line where the hair is thin or missing. Then I use the eyebrow brush to brush and even out the color I just applied.

Women generally have higher brow bones than men, resulting in a greater distance between the bottom of the brow and the eyelid. To compensate, use a highlighter to brighten the area under the arch and lift the brow even more.

Any questions? I will try my best to answer them.

Wearing Bebe (Source: Bebe)

Manuel Arte femulates Jane Russell and Frankie Kein femulates Marilyn Monroe in the drag show Faces in Santa Monica, California, 1986 (Source: University of California Calisphere)

SaveSave

Someday Funnies

Wearing Hanes (Source: One Hanes Place)

Femulators arrested during a raid on a house in Los Angeles, November 1927.
(Source: University of California Calisphere)

One Year of Bad News

Trump's War on Transgenders Dept.

45 unconscionable attacks against the LGBTQ community

"GLAAD, the world’s largest LGBTQ media advocacy organization, today released research on 45 instances where President Donald Trump has selectivity targeted the LGBTQ community during his first year in office.

"Throughout the year, the Trump administration has issued constant attacks on the health and well-being of the LGBTQ community through the creation of one of the most anti-LGBTQ cabinets in recent history, vehement support for religious exemptions that seek to undermine non-discrimination laws and bigoted polices that target the transgender community including a proposed trans military ban."

Read the rest of the story here.

Friday's Brief Femulations

In My Dreams Dept.

Dreamed about my first day at work as a woman. It was an office setting and everyone treated me respectfully.

Last thing I remember was a male co-worker asking me if my voice was the result of a physical problem and me making a mental note to work on my femme voice.

Beyond the Tipping Point Dept.

Juan's blog is now showing the Fall 2018 menswear collection from Palomo Spain. My favorite outfits from the collection are in the two photos below.

Wait 'Til Next Year Dept.

I have been an utter failure at keeping my only New Years resolution, that is, to stop using the F word (and all of its derivations).

Man/Woman at Work Dept.

Except for a few freelance writing jobs, I am pretty much retired and still trying to decide what to do for my encore.

It is not like I am twiddling my thumbs all day long. I am busy at home as Mr. Fix-It and Mrs. Housewife, but I need to get out more, preferably as a woman. Volunteer work is attractive, but it would be nice to bring home a little income, too.

Any ideas?

Wearing Wholesale 7 (Source: Wholesale 7)

Veit Alex, male womenswear model

War on Transgenders Continues

Trump's War on Transgenders continues...

Trump Administration to Shield Workers Who Won’t Treat Transgender Patients

"As part of a proposed rule now under review by the White House, the Trump administration would create a new “division” of the Department of Health and Human Services’ civil-rights office that would enforce protections for health-care workers who refuse to perform abortions or treat transgender patients, Politico reports."

Read the rest of the story here.

Trump Administration Abandons Its Obligations to Trans Students

"Huffington Post reports that it uncovered at least three cases of alleged anti-transgender discrimination that the Department of Education’s Office for Civil Rights dismissed over the past few months. In one case in Texas, a transgender student accused his high school of not allowing him to use the bathroom that corresponds to his gender identity or room with his teammates when they traveled overnight. In response to his complaint, the department’s Office for Civil Rights cited the administration’s rescission of the Obama guidance for its dismissal of the teenager’s complaint."

Read the rest of the story here.

And the beat goes on!

Wearing Olivia Palermo. I love her style — She can dress me when I become rich and famous!

Womanless wedding, circa 1935

My Comic Book Life

My father worked as a printing pressman at Eastern Color Printing, the company that invented the modern comic book.

When I was growing up, the company printed a slew of comic books and the Sunday funnies for about a dozen newspapers in the Northeast.

After work, my father brought home copies of whatever was printed that day.

The comic books were coverless because the glossy covers were printed and stapled to the four-color interior pages at a different plant. Typically, the comic books my father brought home consisted of two sheets of newsprint. Eight pages of the comic book were printed on each side of the two sheets (see photo above of Captain America #101) for a total of 32 pages. The two sheets came off the printing press collated and folded into two-pages flat, ready to be trimmed, covered and bound (stapled) at the other plant. My sister and I quickly learned how to use a table knife to slice open those folded sheets of newsprint so we could read the comic book.

Max Gaines created the modern comic book while working for Eastern Color. About 30 years later, his son, Bill Gaines, co-founded MAD Magazine.

I encountered MAD for the first time when my family piled into the Chevy and drove to Storrs to visit my uncle who was attending UCONN. In his dorm room was the September 1960 issue of MAD, with a cover that suggested that the magazine could be used as a fly swatter.

My 9-year-old mind thought that the idea behind the cover was brilliant and I was hooked. I collected a few back issues that my uncle was ready to discard and I began spending my allowance buying the magazine whenever it appeared on the rack at the Palace News.

(By the way, that trip to UCONN also had a radio angle. In the common area of the dorm building was a radio tuned to the Canadian time signal station, CHU. It piqued my interest that there was a radio station whose "only" purpose was to announce the time every minute.)

Anyway, one day, my father came home from work, handed me a stack of Sunday funny sections and said, "Surprise!"

I was unimpressed. It looked just like the funny sections from the New Haven Register or Hartford Courant that Pop brought home every week. But then I looked closer and realized that this was not your run-of-the-mill Sunday funny section, it was MAD Magazine's Sunday Comic Section! It was the insert for the upcoming issue of The Worst of Mad (#4), one of the annuals that the Usual Gang of Idiots churned out.drew

I assumed, but never could confirm that the Bill Gaines-Max Gaines-Eastern Color connection had something to do with MAD hiring Eastern Color to print the insert. And as it turned out, Eastern Color printed all the subsequent MAD inserts of the four-color newsprint variety including Sing Along With MAD (for More Trash From MAD #4), MAD Protest Signs (for Worst #7) and "A Full-Color 'Pop Art-Op Art' Life-Size Picture of Alfred E. Neuman" (for More Trash #8).

From a very early age, I was fascinated with the product my father brought home. I even tried recreating the four-color printing process by drawing the tiny dots that made up the images in the comic books. I quickly realized that trying to create a comic book by drawing those dots would take forever so I dropped that experiment, but I continued drawing humor in a jugular vein and eventually drew about a dozen issues of my own version of MAD, which I called Crazy.

I can go on and on, so let me know if you want to read more. (I wrote this in response to the positive comments I received regarding Saturday's post about my daily non-femulating life.)

Wearing Self-Portrait (Source: Shopstyle)

Twin Cities' Katie and Hannah

Strike a Pose

How to pose a portrait: 54 creative ideas is an article from Digital Camera Magazine that offers suggestions on how to pose for a portrait.

Below are their suggestions for shooting portraits from high and low camera angles. The article also offers suggestions for full-length portraits, seated portraits and facial expressions.

I know I can certainly add some variety in how I pose for photos and maybe you can use a little variety, too!

Wearing Tory Burch (Source: Tory Burch)

Contestants in the United Way of Scotland County (North Carolina) womanless beauty pageant.