No stress in a dress

On December 8, the following post appeared on New Age Lifestyle.

Today was a really good day. Was out doing some Christmas shopping and had to stop in at Ulta. What I saw was so delightful! I was waited on by a very pretty young man. The best part of all this is that he was presenting as a feminine man. His name was Brian. He was fully made up — foundation, blush, eyeliner, mascara and lipstick. He was wearing earrings. His hair was a feminine “mannish” style. His long nails were polished a very glossy clear. He was wearing leggings with a long sweater which made it look like he was wearing a dress. And he was wearing women’s low rise boots. What a pretty man, working in a makeup store! This is the future we’ve been waiting for. I hope more boys will start working in makeup stores and dressing appropriately! What was also quite obvious, he was not being “forced,” he was just expressing his femininity!

Whereas I wear woman's clothing, makeup and a feminine hairdo to present as a woman, Ulta sales rep Brian does the same thing presenting as a man.

In general, my generation is more inhibited than the younger generations. When my generation crossdresses publicly, we feel more comfortable presenting as women. Not many of us present as men when crossdressed publicly.

The younger generations are more liberated. Guys like Brian feel comfortable crossdressing publicly without denying their birth gender or sex. (Goddess, bless them!)

When I am dressed as a woman in public, I don't know if I am passing or not. I really don't think about it; I just assume I am passing until something alerts me that I am not passing. When alerted, I unintentionally end up in the same boat as guys like Brian. But unlike Brian, I feel a little uneasy and I try to figure out where I went wrong.

Maybe I should be more like Brian. Instead of assuming that I am passing, I should assume that I am not passing, which is probably closer to reality. There would be no stress in a dress!

Wearing Topshot dress, Commando tights, Jessica Simpson booties (Source: BrightonTheDay)

Dylan Stephens, male womenswear model (Source: Love Inc. magazine)

SaveSaveSaveSave

Should He or She Go?

My former employer is having their annual Christmas luncheon on Tuesday and they invited me to attend.

I accepted, but I am on the fence about attending en homme or en femme.

You may recall that I showed up for work en femme the previous five Halloweens in a row. You may also recall that I did not visit my former employer on Halloween this year because I got such a late start.

At my retirement party in May, two female co-workers asked if I would visit the salt mine on Halloween en femme. I answered that if I did make a Halloween visit, I would be en femme.

I don't think anyone would be too surprised if I showed up en femme. It would kind of confirm any doubters that I am gender diverse and not just a talented Halloween costumer.

So what is holding me back?

I feel I was a little dishonest showing up for work en femme the previous five Halloweens in a row, presumably as a talented Halloween costumer. I did not dissuade anyone of that notion, but I also did not announce that I was transgender. And nobody asked, so I did not lie.

For what it's worth, I did come out to two Human Resources reps (both female), two of my bosses  (both female) and one friend (a gay male). After I retired, somebody may have spilled the beans, but I don't know.

What do I have to lose? It is likely the last time I will see these people, so why not let them see the real me.

Update

I received the invitation Monday afternoon and RSVP'd Monday evening. The person who sent the invitation and received my RSVP is the executive assistant at my old salt mine. She loves my past Halloween appearances en femme and has bragged that I am "very good" at femulating. She also calls me "Sandy" (long story) when I femulate.

Anyway, I RSVP'd Monday evening and composed the above post Monday night.

Tuesday morning, I received an email from the executive assistant responding to my RSVP. It contained only two words, "Awesome Sandy."

Wearing Adam Lippes (Source: Vogue)

Dalibor Gondik femulates Dolly Parton on Czech Republic television's Your Face Sounds Familiar.

High Heels Forever!

I love high heels! So much so that I own over a 100 pairs.

The second piece of woman's apparel I ever wore were my mother's high heels (after I slipped on a pair of her nylons). Since that initial crossdressing experience, I almost always wear high heels when I present as a woman. Occasionally I joke that this whole transgender thing is just an excuse to wear high heels.

Without a doubt, wearing high heels is the most difficult thing about presenting as a woman.

Walking gracefully in high heels is an art.

And then there is the pain! Wearing a girdle, waist cincher or clip-on earrings can be painful at times, but you can almost always count on wearing high heels becoming a painful experience sooner or later.

Despite the drawbacks, I'll give up my Louboutins when you pry them from my cold, dead hands.

Abby of Vivian Lou fame feels the same way and she offers some tips in her blog to make your high heel experience as painless as possible.

👠 How to stop feet from slipping forward in high heels.

👠 How to walk up and down stairs in high heels.

👠 Why not to wear the same pair of high heels every day.

As Abby says, "Here's to high heels without the hurt!"

Wearing Vince blouse and DELFI Collection skirt (Source: ShopBop)

Crowning the queen in a womanless beauty pageant.

Quest

My quest this holiday season was to gift myself with a pair of white stiletto booties.

I thought my quest was over when I found exactly what I was looking for in my size (12) at JustFab.  The price was reasonable ($39.95), so I ordered a pair and they arrived about a week later.

The booties were beautiful, although their 4.75-inch heels gave me pause.

I slipped on a pair of knee-highs and tried them on. Holy Moley — They were tight and I could barely zip them up. There was no way I was going to sashay around town in those beauties. Size 12 was the largest size JustFab offered, so I packed them up and shipped them back for a refund.

I renewed my quest by visiting Google and Amazon and found more white stiletto booties, but very few came in my size and the few that did were brands I had never heard of. But what choice did I have? So I threw caution to the wind and ordered a pair branded "Charm Foot" in size 12 (via Amazon for $33 plus $9.99 shipping).

Amazon informed me that my order would arrive between December 12 and December 28. That news was disappointing because if they arrived at the tail end of that estimate, I would not be able to wear the booties while walking around in women's underwear on Christmas Eve.

Last Wednesday, Amazon sent me an update regarding my booties and it was not good news: "Your package is still on the way, but it may arrive later than December 28." So it looked like I might not be wearing my booties while walking around in women's underwear on New Year's Eve either.

Later that same day, UPS dropped off a package. It was not the typical Amazon box and it was so curiously wrapped that I suspected it came from overseas. Could it be my booties?

I removed the thick white plastic wrapped around a flimsy corrugated cardboard box, opened the box and found my new booties. Each bootie was in its own cloth bag. I removed the booties from their bags and at first blush, they looked too small, but I slipped on a pair of knee-highs anyway and tried them on.

Surprise! They were a perfect fit and their 4-inch heel were within my comfort zone! Wearing my booties while walking around in boy's underwear for a half hour was not a painful experience and I was a very happy camper!

Now I can't wait to wear them while wearing women's underwear.

(Source: Pinterest)

Serbian singer Leon femulates Seka Aleksic on television's Your Face Sounds Familiar.

Someday Funnies

(Source: Wigs.com) 

Robyn, a Femulate reader

On Vacation

On Vacation

On Vacation

On Vacation

On Vacation

On Vacation

Someday Funnies

Wearing BB Dakota (Source: Pinterest)

Roaring Twenties "boy" and "girl" crossdressing

Under It All

Dear Stana,

Do you wear makeup or foundation?

Lisa

👠👠👠

(Wow — What a compliment if Lisa thought I didn't wear makeup or foundation!)

I do wear makeup and foundation, but before I wear makeup, I put on moisturizer. Every morning after I shower and shave, even on those days I am not presenting as a woman, I apply moisturizer to my face and neck.

For years, I never did any day-to-day facial maintenance. When I went out, I'd apply makeup to my unmaintained face and I looked good for a man in a dress, but I never achieved that "feminine best" look that I saw on other women.

One morning, looking in the mirror at the wrinkles developing around my eyes, I decided I had better do something about it.

Since I am an Avon lady, I was familiar with their array of skin care products, so I started using one of their products that deal with wrinkles around the eyes

After a week or so, the wrinkles were less noticeable. After a few weeks, I had to examine my eyes closely to find the wrinkles. I was sold and decided to experiment with other skin care products, primarily moisturizers

After using skin care products for over 12 years, my wrinkles are hardly noticeable and my skin is smoother, more supple, and healthier-looking. My makeup goes on easier and looks better. Professional makeup consultants have complimented me on my complexion. And now I can achieve that "feminine best" look.

I cannot emphasize enough the need to maintain your skin on a daily basis. You cannot look your feminine best unless you take care of your face everyday. Currently, I use Olay Complete All Day Moisturizer in the morning and Avon Anew Clinical Eye Lift Pro Dual Eye System in the morning and evening. They work for me, but your mileage may vary.

Wearing Bebe (Source: Bebe)

Karyl Norman, early 20th Century professional femulator

How old does Stana look?

Ten years ago, I conducted a poll asking readers how old they thought I looked. Today, I was amused when I read the comments about the poll results. I thought you might find the comments mildly amusing, too, so here is a rerun of my post from January 2008. 

Thank you for participating in my poll.

For the record, I am 56 years old going on 57 in seven weeks.

I must be doing something right because 75% of the voters think I look younger than my actual age and over half (52%) think I look ten years younger than I really am.

Only 14% think I look my actual age, while 8% think I look older than I actually am.

Anyone who thinks I look 60 or older either needs glasses or is just jealous of my Amazonian beauty. I should just discount their votes, but I am sugar and spice nice and will let them have their say (no matter how catty they are).

On the other hand, anyone who thinks I look younger than 19 also needs to check their eyeglass prescription!

Here are the full results:

19 years old or younger: 3 votes (4%)
20 to 29 years old: 2 votes (2%)
30 to 39 years old: 13 votes (17%)
40 to 49 years old: 39 votes (52%)
50 to 59 years old: 11 votes (14%)
60 to 69 years old: 3 votes (4%)
70 years old or older: 3 votes (4%)

Wearing Shein (Source: Shein)

Kuba Moleda femulates on Polish television's version of Your Face Sounds Familiar.

My wife dresses like a man!

Yes, my wife dresses like a man!

She says that she always dressed like a man, prefers to dress like a man and has no plans to change. But in this day and age, it is embarrassing to be seen out and about with my wife dressed like me.

When we first met, she dressed like a man just like many of her peers. But as more and more women began dressing like women, I assumed that my wife would follow suit. She did not and today, 25 years later, she still dresses like one of the guys.

Her boss has hinted that she is may not getting job promotions because she dresses like a man, but her boss has not pushed it because the law is on my wife's side. Still, it would be nice if my wife toed the line, received promotions and increased out family income. But my wife is happy dressing like a man and I won't try to stop her.

Our friends and acquaintances are accustomed to my wife's appearance. But strangers find it a little odd when they realize she is really a woman especially since she passes so well as a man. In addition to wearing men's clothing, she also has her hair cut like a man and wears all the accoutrements that men favor, like jewelry and makeup. She even carries a purse!

Lucky for me we wear different sizes, otherwise she would be raiding my closet. One time, she was so enamored by a new sexy bra I bought at Victoria's Secret that she insisted trying it on, but it looked ridiculous on her because her boobs are so much bigger than mine. That put an end to her borrowing my clothing, although occasionally I do let her borrow a pair of my pantyhose.

And so it goes!

(Yes, the story above is fiction.)

Wearing Bebe (Source: Bebe)

Starla submitted this find from the 1970 yearbook of Wichita County High School in Leoti, Kansas. (I wonder how Dennis became so adept at applying makeup?)

Julie's Day Out

Julie Elliott is a Scottish girl who recently had such a wonderful day out that she wanted to share her story with me and I asked her for permission to share her story with you. And here it is. 

Thanks so much for your blog, I am a regular reader and gotten many tips. I thought my latest adventure may be of interest and provide some amusement.

I have crossdressed all my life. My wife knows, but she has never met nor desires to meet Julie, so Julie is only goes out to play when travelling or when my wife is away. We have children and I have no desire to burden them with the consequences of having a crossdressing Dad while they are still in school.

My wife was away for two weeks visiting family and as I am semi-retired, I had some Julie time while the children were at school.

A very good crossdressing friend suggested that I go for a makeup lesson because I don't have much of an idea about what to buy and there seems to be so many products to choose from. So I phoned the beauty department of a local department store (Debenhams) and asked for an appointment.

The girl asked if it was for my wife, but I said no, it's for me as I'm transgender. She said that would be fine and I could report to the Urban Decay counter at 10 AM on Thursday. She took a £10 deposit. Us pensioners can't afford to throw £10 away, so I was definitely committed to going no matter how apprehensive I might have felt.

On the Wednesday evening, I selected my outfit, coat, wig and jewelry and shaved before bed.

Thursday morning, up, shower and second shave, which didn't go as well as I hoped and I managed to nick myself several times. Took the kids to school and noticed that next door, the car gone which means they are out for the day. I got into my stockings, girdle, longline bra, necklace, earrings, beige calf-length skirt, pink blouse and boots. Check my face — it's a mess, so I dabbed on some concealer, but no other makeup and finished with two generous squirts of Charlie behind the ears.

I was more or less ready, so I loaded up my handbag with wipes, tissues, money, camera, hair brush, etc. Put on my trench coat, checked myself in the mirror and took a couple of "before" photos. I got into my car and got away with no one around.

I arrived at Debenhams, took a deep breath and was off to the makeup department. Two assistants were chatting at the desk, so I said hello with a smile. They were expecting me and sat me right down and began the sales pitch.

They squirted a bit of this and bit of that. I'm already totally confused at the array of stuff they said was necessary. They picked out three foundations and painted my chin to get the color match. I was smiling to myself because the girls were wearing trousers and I was wearing a skirt. Then more of this and more of that and I'm thinking to myself, "How the hell am I going to remember all this?" While the girl doing my makeup was picking up the next thing, the other girl noticed that I was looking in the mirror and she said, "You look really lovely" — all part of the sales patter I guess, but it did make me feel good.

After the foundation came the blusher. She did one side and I had to do the other. Next, eyebrows and again she did one, I did the other. Then the eyes. I knew this was going to be difficult because I can't stand things near my eyes, however, we got there. Then mascara; again she did one and I did the other. Finally, the lipstick and then she sprayed something that fixed it all so that it lasts all day. I said I didn't need that as it would all have to come off before I see my children. She must have genuinely thought I was transgender because she said I can show the children how I looked now!

Now the hard sell! There's a whole array of things that she used on me on the counter top, so out with the calculator and she says if you buy everything, it's £450. Wow — I nearly fell off the stool.

She obviously noticed my reaction, so the counter top chess match began and pieces were removed and downsized and then we got down to what products I liked and what I could do without. It still ended up at at £190 and I caved in.

I asked her to take some photos with my camera, but the camera started acting up and the only half decent photo is not good because I look concerned about what is happening. Then she made a list of instructions and said if I want more advise, just give her a call. It was a bit steep, but an enjoyable experience anyway.

I went to the womenswear department to give a round. I now believe that I can appreciate this confidence thing that women are always going on about. I did feel more confident, but don't know whether it was the makeup or whether it was because I had been interacting with women as a woman — probably both.

I left Debenhams and went across the road to another shopping mall where I did quite a bit of browsing, trying on shoes and holding dresses up against me, etc. Funny how I was really enjoying my shopping experience, something I generally hate it when in male mode.

It was lunch time, so I went into a cafe and bought a sandwich and a pot of tea. A quick trip to the ladies' room and then back to the car.

Drove on to grocery store and bought more provisions. The check-out lady scanned everything, so I found my card and asked her if I could scan it rather than enter my PIN and she said, "Yes, certainly sweetheart." That made me smile.

Still only 13:30 and I wanted the experience to last as long as possible, so I headed out of town to another shopping center. I did a tour of the shops there, then I decided I had better get back. Next door neighbor would probably be home and yes, she was, but I cast caution to the wind and kept my wig on for the short walk from car to the back door. I went to turn into the driveway, but a car was coming down the hill, so I had to give way. A lady waved to me — don't know if she knows my wife or not. I hope she was concentrating on driving rather than looking at me!

In the house, I took another load of photos. I wanted to keep everything on until the last minute. Took off the clothes and used wipes to take off makeup, but the mascara and eyeliner wouldn't come off! I took a shower with plenty of soap and water without luck. I tried again with the wipes and managed to remove most of the makeup, but the wipes stung my eyes and have perfume on them — what to do?

The kids were due home and I was smelling of perfume! I opened the front door for the kids and I disappeared into the office as quick as I could. I got the idea to go out on the bicycle to see if my sweat will cancel out the perfume. I got into my cycling kit and cycled away, but it was so cold that there was not much chance of any sweat!

Back home, I took another shower. The smell of the wipes was not as strong. My eyes were red from the chemicals on the wipes.

I really enjoyed my day out with a bit of a panic at the end. I have since returned some of the cosmetics to get the price down to £115, but those that I have kept I really like. I use the moisturizer and lip balm every day when in boy mode and it feels good.

Wearing Ali Rio (Source: Belle and Clive)

Matteo Cetinski femulates Jelena Rozga on Croatian television's Your Face Sounds Familiar.