Kandi's Land

As a new feature of Femulate, I plan to identify new blogs that will be of interest to femulators. The first blog to be so identified is Kandi's Land, a blog written by a Cleveland girl, who is very out and about and has the blessing of her wife to do so.

Here is a sample from Kandi's blog.

Kandi

About

I am a crossdresser! There. I said it. October 2014. Never admitted that to myself, but have always been one. Hated myself for it. It has always been a compulsion, an urge, never something I ever enjoyed. What is wrong with me? It turns out, nothing!

Okay, now what do I do? Having purged a small bedroom full of women’s clothes over the course of my 50+ years, let’s start fresh. Let’s see if I can enjoy this. Purchase a few things. Okay, I like that. Add a few more. Keep them for more that an hour, a day, a week. So far, so good. How do I feel? Different, better, happy.

I need to make some life changes. If I am going down this road, I need to look half decent. I begin the road that would result in my dropping 35 pounds and eventually becoming a very competitive runner, routinely winning my age groups comfortably in 5Ks, now winning my age group in half marathons and most recently completing my first full marathon. Happiness matters.

So now I am getting slimmer, getting in good shape, happy with myself. But the big hurdle remains. I am very happily married with two grown and successful daughters. It took well over a month to gather the courage to tell my wife. December 2, 2014 is the day. If she is not on board, this all stops, no questions asked. And I would completely understand her not being happy with it. I find the words, show her my painted toenails, tell her how it all makes me happy. In a moment I will never forget, she says she just wants me to be happy. You know that feeling when you fall in love with someone? I did that all over again, almost 30 years into our marriage. I was immediately transformed. My life is still filled with ups and downs, but my “default” mood is always one of happiness. My smile, previously buried under a crappy mustache and displayed only when made happy (instead of being happy) by family and friends, became ever present. Now what do I do? What have I done!!!!

The work begins. Removing more body hair than your average polar bear. Developing those routines that women do, not men. Moisturizing. Frequent shaving. Now do I really want to do this? I begin purchasing items to be included in my wardrobe. I have no fear of buying women’s clothing as a man. None. A bra fitting? Why not. A new dress? Of course.

I schedule a makeover at Janet’s Closet in Detroit. I need to see what I would look like. Not bad. To paraphrase Rudolph (the Red Nosed Reindeer)….I’m cute!!!!! Or at least not hideous. I let the girls there talk me into wearing clothing I would never dream of wearing now and I make a walk through the mall. I survive (although read by some teenage girls). I go out with some seasoned “girls” (I hate the term “gurls”). I survive! Now the real work begins. How do I build a real life for Kandi. She is not simply going to hang out at CD bars and shop, shop, shop (although she does a lot of that).

My hope is that this blog can show you how to make your life a happy one if you are a crossdresser.  I completely understand I am very different than a transgendered woman. Apples and oranges.

My world view is one of extreme optimism. The world is so much better than the media would make you believe. No question, we live in troubled times. But I have now been out probably 300 times. I am frequently complemented, have received more hugs from total strangers than one can count, had drinks and meals purchased for me and am an active member of a church, many charitable organizations and even a woman’s social group. I also understand that I have the blessing of my wife, a HUGE benefit to my being able to achieve that happiness. Come on along for the ride!

Come visit the Kandi archives, pictures and stories of every time out: https://www.flickr.com/photos/131254150@N06/

Wearing Eloquii (Source: Eloquii)

Tyler Grant

Shopped ‘Til She Dropped

Dressing Room Selfie

I never get tired of shopping for women’s clothing. Browsing through the racks and finding a half-dozen outfits to take to the changing room is just as much fun today as it was when I would browse through my mother’s closet and find outfits to try on in front of her full-length mirror.

Just writing about shopping motivates me to go shopping. After all I do need something new to wear when I go to First Event (as if I don’t already have a half-dozen dresses hanging in my closet that still have their price tags attached).

Someday my tombstone will read, “Shopped ‘Til She Dropped.”

Anyway here are a few thing I learned when shopping.

👠 If a store associate is available when going to the changing room to try on your finds, play dumb and ask where the changing rooms are located. I do this whenever possible for insurance purposes, that is, if somebody complains about a dude in the lady’s dressing room, the dude can say that’s where the store associate told me to go.

👠 Take as many outfits as possible to try on when you go to the changing room. Some stores limit the number you can take in, some don’t, but in any case, go for the max in order to minimize the number of times you have to change your street clothes.

👠 Shop at smaller women’s clothing stores rather than big department stores. You won’t get a lot of hands-on assistance in large department stores, however, you usually will get assistance in smaller women’s clothing stores. For example, when you are ready to try on your finds, an associate will “start” a dressing room for you (your very own queendom) and sometimes they will even put a sign on the door reserving that room for you with your femme name emblazoned on the sign. If something is the wrong size, the associate will fetch another size to try on saving you the trouble of getting back into your street clothes to do the fetching yourself.

👠 In smaller stores, savvy associates will size you up and recommend clothing for you to try on. This has happened to me more than once and I ended up trying clothing on that looked great on me, but I would have never given a second look if the sales associate had not made the suggestion.

👠 Speaking of street clothes, wear an outfit that you can strip off and put back on easily. I own a sweater dress that has a full-length zipper in front, which is perfect for quick undressing/dressing. Jumpsuits also work well.

👠 The associates want to sell, so if they compliment you on what you try on, take the compliment with a grain of salt. If you go shopping with a friend, your friend’s compliments may not be any more valuable than the store associate’s because your friend may not want to hurt your feelings. So here is a way I get an independent appraisal of what I am trying on… I step out of the dressing room on the pretense of viewing myself in the full-length mirrors usually hung throughout the store. My goal is for another customer to see me while I am doing this. If they gush over what I am wearing, it is a bingo! Whenever I have done this, other customers always check me out while I am checking me out and if they like what they see, they let me know.

👠 For a quick self-appraisal, take a selfie or have an associate take your photo. The difference between what you “see” in a mirror and what you “see” in a photo is surprising ― trust the photo, not the mirror.

Shopping for women’s clothing is almost as much fun as wearing women’s clothing! So, you go girls and have some fun!

Wearing Bebe (Source: Bebe)

Shopping

Someday Funnies

Tony Curtis ready to femulate in the 1959 film Some Like It Hot.

Grab Bag

Kacper Kuszewski femulating Diana Ross

I was a 1960s rock 'n' roller and The Supremes was one of my favorite groups from that era. Their sound epitomized Motown in the 1960s. I bought most of their 45s and some of their LPs during the group's heyday.

In addition to their music, I loved their style. The gowns they wore on their television appearances were fab and I dreamed about starting my own singing group just so I could dress like them.

One thing holding me back was my singing voice or lack thereof. It may have prevented me from performing as the lead singer of "Stana and the Starlites," but it did not prevent me from buying and wearing fabulous evening gowns. Occasionally, I even lip-synced while wearing one!

Last week, Diana Ross, former lead singer of The Supremes, won a lifetime achievement award on one of those music awards shows that pop up on television about once a month. That moved me to peruse my iTunes library to see how well The Supremes were represented. I was surprised that my library was lacking in that regard.

I had a few of their hits from some Motown compilations, but that was all, so I began shopping around to fill the gap. I ended up purchasing their album titled Gold, which contains 40 of their best songs, so that should adequately fill the gap.

Coincidentally, I found another Diana Ross femulation on YouTube: Kacper Kuszewski performing "Upside Down" on the Polish version of television's Your Face Sounds Familiar. It rivals one of my favorite Your Face Sounds Familiar femulations, Jerzy Grzechnik performing "Baby Love."

Dunno if you read the comments that readers leave on the blog, so you might have missed another excellent femulation on YouTube that Fernanda referred to a few days ago. The 1930 video in question featured professional femulator Reg Stone performing on stage for the British troops. Miss Reg is amazing! And in another video from the same show, Ravishing Reg joins a chorus line of Army gurls singing  and dancing on stage.  

Fast-forward to the 21st Century... P!nk has released a new video for her song "Beautiful Trauma." In the video, she portrays a 1950s housewife and actor Channing Tatum portrays her husband. At the 1:45 minute mark, P!nk discovers Channing crossdressing in their closet. View the video to see the gender role reversal that transpires.

By the way, this is not Channing's first time in a dress. Let me Google that for you.

Wearing Bebe (Source: Bebe)

Sebastian Muntean femulates C. C. Catch on the Romanian version of television's Your Face Sounds Familiar.

Thank God I'm A Girly Boy

I have a lot to be thankful for: my family, my friends, my health, my etcetera, etcetera. I am also thankful that I trans.

Sure being trans has its ups and downs, but it has been an interesting trip and it certainly has not been boring.

Beyond the pages of DC and Marvel Comics, not many people have a secret identity. Although I am very open about being trans today, I maintained a secret identity and compartmentalized my identities for a long time.

As you know, it is a lot of work protecting a secret identity. The close calls are too numerous to enumerate, but looking back, they have become anecdotes, often amusing anecdotes that I share here and there.

And if I wasn't trans, this blog would not exist, nor would the word "femulate." That is not a big deal. But what is a big deal are the emails I receive every week from Femulate readers thanking me for inspiring them to escape from the closet and experience life in this world as women.

Your success stories indicate that the goal of this blog is being fulfilled. Perhaps writing this blog is why God put me on this Earth as a girly boy.

(Source: Pinterest)

Mark Stanley plays a transwoman in the 2017 British television series Loves, Lies and Records.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Transgender Thanksgiving Trivia

Did you know that Cape Cod's Provincetown Harbor is where the Pilgrims initially anchored the Mayflower in 1620 after their ocean voyage from England? (Provincetown is the site of Fantasia Fair, the longest-running transgender event of its kind in the New World.)

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

Ian Holm (right) femulating in the British television movie The Last of the Blonde Bombshells.

Snowball

In my opinion, as more males present themselves as females in public, it encourages other males who are on the cusp to present as females, too. It is a snowball effect.

In the early 1960s, I was on the cusp. I was a feminine boy, but I had never dressed. Except for comics on television and actors in films, males dressing as females was unheard of in my little world.  Dressing as a female myself never even crossed my mind… until one Halloween.

I recall visiting my aunts' house on Halloween dressed as the Frankenstein Monster. My aunts were all aflutter about a neighborhood boy who had visited them earlier that evening dressed as a girl. He even wore stockings and high heels! Suddenly, dressing as a female myself crossed my mind.

Another Halloween, Billy, my best friend in grammar school urged me to join him trick-or-treating that year. He told me that he dressed as a girl the previous Halloween, planned to dress as a girl again this Halloween and suggested that I dress as a girl, too. I was intrigued, but as feminine as I was, I was not ready to dress as a female because I feared what people would think if I did dress up. (By the way, after adding a lot of twos and twos together, I am certain that Billy was transgender.)

About this time, I was exposed to female impersonators.

My father bought the New York Daily News every day and I noticed that at the end of the week, probably in the Thursday or Friday edition of the News, there would be a thumbnail-sized ad in the back pages of the paper that caught my eye. The ad always consisted of a photo of a gorgeous showgirl and was captioned "Who's No Lady?"

The gorgeous showgirl was no lady, but a female impersonator and the ad was for the Club 82 in New York City, a nightclub that featured female impersonators. I was amazed that males could look like the showgirls featured in those ads. I was so fascinated with the transformation that I began cutting out the ads from the newspaper and collecting them with a paperclip.

Then home alone one day, I started on a voyage that has never ended. I went to my parents' bedroom, found a pair of my my mother's nylon stockings and tried them on. This was so long ago that the stockings had seams (all stockings had seams back then) and my legs were still hairless.

After I slipped on the stockings, I opened my mother's closet to see how my legs looked in the full-length mirror hanging on the inside of the closet door. My legs still looked like my own legs except now they were covered by nylon.

Then it occurred to me that my mother's shoe collection was at my disposal inside the closet. I slipped on a pair of her high heel pumps and examined myself in the mirror again. My legs were no  longer boys'  legs encased in nylon; they had been transformed into a pair of shapely legs that any woman would die for!

After that eye-opener, I experimented with my mother's girdles, bras, dresses, hats, gloves, lipstick, rouge, etc. and got caught up in a snowball that has never stopped growing.

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

When Nipping's Not Enough

Dear Stana, 

I have been fitted for a Flexees waist nipper at a Lady Grace shop and I found the waist nipper did little for my waist. In your experience, does a high-waist long leg pantie girdle provide a better waist reduction than the waist nipper? I would really like a 2-inch reduction if possible and am looking for the solution. 

Any help would be most appreciated.

Katherine

👠👠👠

Until I received your e-mail, it never occurred to me that a waist nipper might not do much good for some girls.

If you are in good shape and your waistline is not bigger than it should be, using a waist nipper is like carrying coals to Newcastle: you don't have much of anything for a waist nipper to nip. And if the waist nipper doesn't do the job, a high-waist girdle probably won't make much of a difference either.

Since you can't reduce your waistline, you will have to add padding on your hips to widen them and thus, become curvy. (I assume you are already padded somehow up top.)

On the other hand, if you are not thin, then maybe you need something that will tighten up your waist better than a waist nipper. A high-waist girdle may or may not be an improvement over a waist nipper, but I am sure that a lace-up underbust corset would do the job.

I own one, wear it when I need to and it easily reduces my waistline by two inches — probably more. Although tightening the laces of a corset is normally performed by another person, I am able to tighten mine up without assistance, although it is a lot easier if someone else does the honors.

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

Professional femulation in the 1950's

Someday Funnies

Awareness, Remembrance, Support and Outreach

Aware and Remember: Mark Your Calendar

November is Transgender Awareness Month.

November 13–17 was Transgender Awareness Week. (Why are Sunday, November 12, and today, November 18, not part of Transgender Awareness Week?)

And Monday, November 20, is Transgender Day of Remembrance.

Support

When I was still in the closet, my wife urged me to find and join a support group. Via CompuServe's Genderline, I found Connecticut Outreach Society and joined it as fast as my high heels could carry me to the group's meeting place.

I owe the Society a lot because it got me out of the closet to experience the world as a woman. And the rest is her story.

All support groups are different. Some are better than others. But if you want to escape the closet, I urge you to find and join a local support group. It may do wonders for you like my support group did for me.

And if your closet is in my neck of the woods, I highly recommend Connecticut Outreach Society.   

Outreach

Over ten years ago, I got my feet wet doing outreach at Southern Connecticut State University for Professor Anna Schildroth's Human Sexuality classes. Since then, I have also done outreach at other colleges and universities, but each semester, I returned to Southern to do outreach for Anna's classes.

I usually received an e-mail in early November from Anna inviting me to her class after Thanksgiving. But I did not hear from Anna this month, so I e-mailed her only to find out that sadly, she is no longer teaching that class and my services will no longer be needed.

I will miss my outreach trips to New Haven and hope I can fill the gap someplace else.

Wearing Bebe (Source: Bebe)

Doing outreach at Southern Connecticut State University