Notes from Last Week

This post is a follow-up on last week.

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Here is a photo of my table at One Big Event. I am seated third from the left.

The photo appeared on the photographer's website along with other photos from the event. It was reputed that this photo also appeared in the Hartford Courant, but I could not find it.

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Leaving home Tuesday morning, I saw a neighbor working in his yard right along the side of the road. I have known Pete for over 20 years and have had many conversations with him during that time, so we are on a friendly basis. And whenever Pete is working in his yard when I drive by, he always waves (I assume he recognizes the green Subaru I have been driving for over 10 years).

I have never encountered Pete while I was presenting as a woman. I guessed he would see my Subaru approaching and would wave before he saw the driver, which is exactly what happened. I waved back as I passed by him, but I have no idea if he actually saw me or not. (I used to worry about such encounters, but I don't anymore.)

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I did not visit my former workplace on Tuesday as I had originally planned. When I mentioned my original plans to my wife, she asked me if any of my co-workers ever questioned me about my choice of a business woman costume for Halloween five years in a row.

A few co-workers made comments about my costume, but no one ever asked me if there was more to my costume than just a costume. They may have discussed it among themselves, but no one ever brought it up with me.

When I came out to one of my co-workers as being transgender, he remarked that he thought I was "just a crossdresser." And when I came out to my boss, she remarked that she was not surprised. So my co-workers did have opinions on the matter, but they were all very professional and did not say anything to me that would have been inappropriate.

Wearing Veronica Beard (Source: Veronica Beard)

Lee femulated as a witch to pass out Halloween treats.

Visiting Roz & Ali (Dress Barn), Macy's and Burger King

My last three stops on Tuesday were Roz & Ali (nee Dress Barn), Macy's and Burger King. I will describe them in reverse order.

Burger King

My wife asked me to pick up some fast food from Burger King on the way home, so I stopped at the King closest to my home. Although it was in between lunch and dinner, this King is always busy because it is easy access from Interstate I-84.

I walked in, placed my order, waited 5 minutes for the special no-ketchup Whopper, received my order and exited the premises without incident. I was an invisible older women. Although a couple of guys did check me out briefly, they were younger and probably not interested when they saw I was old enough to be their mother or grandmother!

Macy's

This was a "I'm feeling so great that I don't want to return to boy mode stop" just to extend my day out. The store was not very busy — just a few older women like me perusing the racks. A couple of sales reps greeted me, but that was the extent of my interaction with any living beings.

I did find a beautiful Calvin Klein dress that was marked down considerably and I thought about trying it on, but I did not for reasons you will read below.

Roz & Ali (nee Dress Barn)

I visited my favorite Dress Barn — the one near my former employer where they know me in boy and girl mode — also where I filled out a job application.

I know the manager and sales rep who were on duty by name and they know me by name. I had conversations with both of them about the store's name change and I also asked the manager about my job application. She said they weren't hiring right now because they had closed three other local Dress Barns during the summer.

Perusing the racks, nothing knocked me out, but I found two dresses in Misses size 14 that had potential and the sales rep opened a changing room for me. First I tried on the floral print you see in the photo above. It fit perfectly and I was surprised how much better it looked on me than on the rack! It was a keeper.

The second dress was a sexy black number — something I could see Sophia Loren wearing to a funeral. The top of the dress was too small and I could not zip it up. The sales rep found one in Woman's size 14W, which I was able to zip up easily, but it was too roomy in the waist, so I rejected it and went home with just one new dress to add to my wardrobe.

By the way, the reason I did not try on the Calvin Klein dress in Macy's was because changing out and back into a skirt suit was so time-consuming at Dress Barn that I did not want to repeat it at Macy's. Removing the jacket, skirt and blouse was easy enough, but putting everything back on was a harder because the blouse had a lot of finicky buttons, so I did not think it was worth it especially since I had just bought a new dress at Dress Barn.

Hair Salon Redux

Thursday, I had an appointment for a haircut at the salon I visited on Tuesday. My hairdresser, Miss K, was off on Tuesday, so after she seated me at her station, she said, "I'm sorry I missed you on Tuesday. The girls said you were beautiful."

So I immediately retrieved my iPhone and showed her my photo that Miss C took on Tuesday.

She took my iPhone, examined the photo closely and remarked, "You look like a businesswoman."

"That's what I intended."

"You do look beautiful!"

"Thank-you."

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

Alison on Take Your Authentic Gender To Work Day (aka Halloween)

Visiting Rite Aid and Agway

In my previous post, I wrote about my Halloween day visits to my hair salon and bank. My next stop was my pharmacy two doors up the road from my bank.

Rite Aid

I seldom get red eye in boy mode, but in girl mode, it occurs often enough that I always carry a bottle of eye drops in my purse to relieve the unsightly problem. I attribute my girl mode red eye to eye makeup — either from the irritation that may occur when I apply the makeup or from makeup crumbs that may get in my eye. Anyway, I misplaced my bottle of eyedrops when I was out Saturday night, so I went to Rite Aid to buy a new bottle.

I seldom see the same people working in Rite Aid. Either there is a big turnover or they have a big staff all working less than 40-hour weeks. So it did not surprise me that I did not recognize any of the staff during my visit on Tuesday.

I found the eye drops and checked out without the cashier blinking an eye even though I greeted her with "Happy Halloween!"

Agway

We have cats (and dogs). We buy our cat litter at Agway because they carry a brand that we like and no one else sells that brand locally (as far as we have been able to determine). The Agway that sells our favorite litter is located a half hour away. That was convenient when I was working because it was only a few miles away from my workplace, but now that I am retired...

Since I originally planned to visit my former workplace, I figured I would be in the neighborhood, so I planned to stock up on litter. Carrying 40 pound bags of litter while wearing high heels and long nails would be challenging, but I was up for it.

I entered the store and the woman who runs the place was at the counter. I approached her and when she asked if she could help me, I said I was the "litter guy," the self-named moniker I used whenever I phoned the store to see if they had any litter in stock.

"Who are you?"

Like the woman at the bank, I think she heard me, but could not believe her eyes, so I repeated my nickname and then I saw her expression change to one of recognition.

"Oh, sorry, but we are all out. The next shipment is next Tuesday."

"OK, see you next week," and I exited the premises without a word about my appearance or a "Happy Halloween."

Not sure how she expects me to appear next week.

Wearing ModCloth (Source: ModCloth)

Susie Taylor femulates Beauty and the Beast's Belle for Halloween.

Visiting My Hair Salon and Bank

I slept late (I've been doing that a lot since I semi-retired) and pretty much abandoned my Halloween plans because I would be getting such a late start. So I performed my normal morning routine, then sipped a cup of coffee while reading the newspaper.

My wife and I always read our daily horoscopes to each other for amusement, but when I read mine, I was enthused rather than amused.

So I put down the newspaper, took my cup of coffee to the bathroom, set up my makeup mirror and began doing my makeup. Ninety minutes later, I completed my transition and looked very business-like wearing a vintage pinstripe suit that I bought on eBay almost 20 years ago.

Hair Salon

I was on the road at 11 AM and made my first stop only 2 miles away at the hair salon where I have been getting my hair cut for over 25 years.

Two years ago, I was getting my hair cut after Halloween and my hairdresser, Miss D, asked if I did anything for the holiday. So I pulled out my iPhone and showed her my en femme photo. She was floored and could not get over it, so I decided to let her see my femulation in person this year.

I entered the salon and Miss D greeted me without a glimmer of recognition. I played along and said I wanted to make an appointment with my regular hairdresser, Miss K. Miss D opened the appointment book and found an opening that I could fill, then she asked my name (to enter into the book).

When I told her my boy name, her jaw dropped and the "Oh, my God's" began flowing without interruption. Just then, another hairdresser, Miss C, showed up for work and she was flabbergasted, too.

Miss D had to return to her station to attend to a customer, but Miss C hung back and agreed to take some photos with my iPhone including the one that graced my blog yesterday.

Bank

Next stop was my bank, where I usually do my business via the drive-through window. Since I was cashing a check and making a withdrawal, I would have to show my I.D. (my driver's license) and there might be some confusion considering how I appeared, so I went indoors rather than driving through.

As I entered, I saw three women staffing the bank — I have done business with all three of them for a number of years, usually at the drive-through window and occasionally up front and personal.

I greeted the woman who was seated typing away at a computer in the cubicle just inside the bank entrance. She looked up from the computer and was clueless.

I smiled and said, "Happy Halloween! You may know me better as [insert my male name]."

I believe she heard me, but I think she could not believe her eyes and asked, "Who?"

I had to repeat my name a couple of times before it sank in and she said, "Wow — you look fabulous!"

"Thank-you," and I proceeded to get into the line waiting for my turn at the teller, who greeted me with a big smile as I queued up. The third woman was staffing the drive-through window and did not seem to recognize me.

When it was my turn, I walked up to the teller, who greeted me so profusely that I knew she knew who I was.

"You look lovely today," she said.

"You know who I am, don't you."

"I recognized you as soon as you walked in."

There were no other customers in the bank, so my teller called over the other teller and asked her if she recognized me.

The other teller did not have a clue.

My teller tried to clue her in with this hint, "Who has a green car and always uses the drive-through window?"

The other teller was still clueless.

Another clue, "Who has a little friend (my dog) in the passenger seat?"

Still nothing!

My teller finally showed her my driver's license and the other teller shouted out my male name followed by a series of question marks and exclamation points. She was amazed and gushed over my "disguise."

I asked my teller if she would take my photo and she said she would love to do it, so I handed her my iPhone and she took a half dozen shots including the one above.

I said my goodbyes and as I passed the cubicle where the first woman was working, she stopped me and went on and on about how convincing I looked.

I mentioned how my wife always said that I would never pass because of my large size.

"Oh, no," she retorted, "No one would ever guess that you're not a woman."

Wearing Nordstrom (Source: Nordstrom)

Christina Marie Mirka femulating on Halloween in a female version Star Trek Scotty's uniform that Christina created from a dress pattern.

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Tuesday

On Halloween day, I went to my hairdresser, my bank, Rite Aid, Agway, Roz & Ali (nee Dress Barn), Macy's and Burger King. And I did so dressed thusly:

As you may imagine, I have a lot to say about the day, so stay tuned!

(Source: Pinterest)

Fiona femulates a witch for Halloween.

Frustrated at One Big Event

Diana photographed me holding her drink at One Big Event

Shortly after my encounter with Senator Blumenthal at One Big Event, the dancing portion of the evening began.

The music was contemporary, which means I did not recognize most of the songs. I thought about requesting something from the last century, but I did not have a dance partner.

Do I ask a gay guy to dance with me?

Do I ask a straight guy to dance with me?

Do I ask one of the women who have been eyeing me all night to dance with me?

Do I wait to be asked to dance?

So many choices!

I love to dance even if I am not familiar with the music, but what is the proper etiquette in this situation?

I harken back to my days in high school and college attending dances and usually being turned down by the girls I asked to dance. Would it be a UCONN mixer all over again?

Would I appear desperate asking a guy to dance?

Would a guy reject me because in their eyes I am really a guy?

And asking a woman to dance is a conundrum I am unable to dicipher.

Being asked to dance would have been wonderful, but I would not be surprised if potential dancers were just as unsure about the proper etiquette as I was.

As I mulled this over Saturday night, I recalled that this happened every time I attended One Big Event in the past. And it always put a damper on the evening.

I hung back for about 30 minutes waiting for a Prince or Princess Charming to ask me to dance, but it did not happen. So I went home.

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

Yvonne femulated a bunny for Halloween.

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Big Night at One Big Event

Saturday evening, I attended One Big Event at the Connecticut Convention Center in Hartford. The event is a fundraiser for the Hartford Gay & Lesbian Health Collective. It is a gala affair with guys in tuxedos and gals in cocktail dresses and vice versa.

Mid-afternoon, I began my femulation and was ready to go about an hour before I had to go, so I took some photos like the one you see on the right. The dress I wore was absolutely fabulous and wearing it made me feel wonderful beyond compare. Throughout the evening, I received many compliments from friends and strangers alike. It is a dress I will have to wear again and again.

Left home at 5:15 and parked my car at the Convention Center garage 15 minutes before the start of the event, so I was able to get a strategic parking spot close to the entrance of the Convention Center rather than in the heights of the fifth or sixth level of the garage. I say "strategic" because after a long night of partying in high heels, it is nice to walk the minimum distance back to where your chariot awaits you.

I took the escalators to the top of the Convention Center and checked in to find that I was seated at table 4. Usually, I end up sitting at a table with double digits, but thanks to my friend Diana and her friend Joe, I was seated in the front row of tables. Nice!

The cocktail hour ran from 6 to 7 PM. It gave everyone an opportunity to schmooze, check out the items up for bid in the silent auction while drinking your favorite beverage. I recognized a few people and exchanged pleasantries.

After viewing all the auction items, I wanted to sit a spell, so I saw a seat available at a table where two young women were already seated. I asked if I could join them, they said yes and we exchanged introductions.

The first time I attended One Big Event, I assumed all the attendees were gay, lesbian, trans, etcetera except for the politicians and dignitaries. I since learned that a good portion of the crowd were civilians representing the various corporate sponsors of the event, as was one the women I was sitting with. She was from Travelers Insurance and the other woman was her guest. They were UCONN graduates as I am and we exchanged stories about our experience on the Storrs campus. We parted ways when the dining room opened – I to table 4 and they to a table with double digits.

Table 4 was populated by me, Diana, Joe and Joe's family. They were a friendly bunch and we got along swimmingly. Dinner was very good and in mass quantities – so much so that I did not finish a course, not even dessert.

After dinner, the folks who head the Health Collective spoke followed by two politicians, Hartford Mayor Luke Bronin and Connectuct's U.S Senator Richard Blumenthal. They both were encouraging... that despite the current occupant of the White House, the good fight will continue and we will be triumphant again. Their words pleased the crowd of 400 to no end.

At past One Big Events, the politicians speak, then get out of Dodge to attend to other matters, so I was surprised when Diana nudged me to look up and see the Senator visiting tables to shake hands and schmooze. When he came to our table, I got his attention and he came over to shake my hand. I was not going to let him getaway with just a handshake, so I told him that I liked him so much that I would vote for him twice, once in girl mode and once in boy mode. He got a big charge out of that, laughed, shook my hand again and said thank-you. Very cool!

Wearing Cushnie et Ochs jumpsuit, Perrin bag and Giuseppe Zanotti shoes (Source: Intermix)

Rachel femulates for Halloween at a sports bar.

(Send me your Halloween costume photo and see it in the Femulator spot like Rachel's photo above.)

Size 14?

A couple of weeks ago, I was bragging here that I was now a Misses Size 14. But in the back of my mind, I wondered if it was a fluke.

Sure I've lost nearly 20 pounds, but I have been fooled by clothing manufacturer's erratic sizing before... when you find a dress in a smaller than your usual size that fits perfectly and then you realize that the dress runs large (sometimes very large) and no other dress in that size fits you... kind of takes the wind out of your sail.

On Monday, I mentioned I was undecided about which dress to wear to One Big Event tonight. You all helped me make up my mind (thank-you) and I will be wearing the wine sexy slit foil midi tonight. The other dress was scheduled to be delivered Monday, so it was actually not in the running and I really had no choice.

Guess what arrived in Friday's mail? The other dress, the teal brushstroke scuba midi.

Even though I had already made up my mind about what to wear tonight, I had to try on my new purchase. This would be the moment of truth because it was also a Misses Size 14.

I stripped and then zipped up the new dress. And, voila! I pulled the zipper to the top with ease. The dress fit perfectly even without my girdle and long line bra. So I guess I really am a Size 14!

Wearing Rachel Zoe (Source: Rachel Zoe)

For Halloween, Marie Anne femulated a woman from India.

(Send your Halloween photo and I will feature it in the Femulator spot like Marie Anne above.) 

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Shopping in the Good Old Days

Back in my youth during the Mesozoic Era, buying womenswear was stressful.

As I wrote here on Wednesday, the Halloween excuse alleviated some of the stress, so I used that cover story the whole month of October and even during September.

But what did I do the other ten months of the year?

I recall shopping for a dress in a plus-size woman's store in downtown Waterbury. It was a local mom and pop shop and not a chain store like Lane Bryant. Actually, it was a mom and daughter shop; they owned the business and also served as the store's sales staff.

Anyway, I used a new cover story: that I was appearing in a contemporary version of "Charley's Aunt" at my school.

The mother and daughter were initially intrigued with my story and asked me questions about the stage production... questions that I was not prepared to answer. As a result, my cover story fell apart, but the ladies played along and helped me find a dress to wear in the "play."

When it was time to pay up, the daughter mentioned that their store had a lot of male customers and they were always welcome to shop there.

Like I said, this was back in the Mesozoic Era and I welcomed any resource that was welcoming to girls like me. So I was a return customer until sadly, the store went out of business.

Wearing Payless (Source: Payless)

Romana Pernaa's Dr. Who Halloween femulation

(Send me your Halloween costume photo and see it in the Femulator spot like Romana's photo above.)

I am my own girlfriend

This Throwback Thursday post was written over eight years ago. Revisiting it, I was surprised that what I believed is truer than ever applies today. 

I love females. Always did, always will.

When I reached dating age, I dreamed about dating the vast number of females who I found attractive. But I was very shy with the opposite sex and not at all skilled at chatting up females in order to get a date.

My attempts usually resulted in rejection. As I accumulated rejections, I became gun-shy and more reluctant to try again. As a result, I did not date very often.

On those rare occasions that I did date, it was usually of the blind variety. And there were seldom any second dates because (1) I did not find my blind date attractive or (2) if I did find my blind date to be attractive, my shyness kicked in and turned off my blind date. I was a sad sack on the dating scene.

Lacking a female companion, did I become my own girlfriend?

I studied the art of female emulation (femulation) and after years of practice, I managed to femulate myself into a female, who could look attractive under the right lighting conditions and/or from the correct viewing angle.

As I femulated more and more, dating a female became less important, but I continued to make my feeble attempts in the dating scene and accepted blind dates whenever the opportunity arose. One blind date was "love at first sight" and we dated for over two years, married, and had a child.

While I dated my future spouse, I stopped being my own girlfriend, that is, I stopped femulating all together and did not take up the cause again until we were invited to a Halloween party a month after our wedding day.

After nearly three years of not femulating, I was out of practice and having purged all my female paraphenalia before marriage, I had to borrow clothes for that Halloween outing. As a result, my femulation was just so-so in my humble opinion. Nevertheless, my skills were still good enough to fool some of the people some of the time and a female at the party asked me point blank if I was male, because she was not sure.

That outing caused me to recall how I had enjoyed femulating in the past, so I began anew, first in secret, than slowly out into the public after my spouse put two and two together and asked me if I liked to crossdress on days that weren't October 31.

I came clean about my "hobby" and she was very supportive and encouraged me to join a support group, which moved my femulation out of the closet of my home into the closet of my support group's meeting hall where I learned how to take my femulation out into public places.

Did I become my own girlfriend again?

I believe that when I was dateless and desperately seeking female companionship, I truly was my own girlfriend. But now I believe that the female I emulate is really me.

When I became my own girlfriend in the past, I was really becoming me, but did not realize it at the time. Now I realize that when I femulate I am presenting myself to society in the way I feel that best expresses me.

Wearing Veronica Beard (Source: Veronica Beard)

Michelle femulating at work on Halloween

(Send me your Halloween costume photo and see it in the Femulator spot like Michelle's photo today.)