Where's the Barn?

My Simply Be dress.

Diana asked me to accompany her to Dress Barn to help pick out a dress for her upcoming high school reunion. You know how I like Dress Barn, so I was happy to go shopping with her after tea on Friday,

We drove to a nearby Dress Barn to discover that Dress Barn was gone and a new store had taken its place! I was disappointed, but not too surprised because another local Dress Barn had shuttered its doors a few months ago.

We are persistent and drove to another nearby Dress Barn, but when we arrived, it was also gone and a new store had taken its place!

We were frustrated and since there were no more nearby Dress Barns to try, we parted ways. But instead of going home, I decided to visit the store that replaced Dress Barn.

It was a woman's clothing store called "Roz & Ali" and I noticed that it was laid out just like Dress Barn. Perusing the racks, I noticed that about one fifth of the clothing labels were Dress Barn labels and I even found a dress I had seen on the Dress Barn website. What the heck?

I asked one of the sales reps what was going on and she explained that Dress Barn was trying to change its image and had renamed 50 of its stores to Roz & Ali. And not to worry – all the Dress Barn gift cards, perks and coupons were still good.

After losing Fashion Bug a couple of years ago, I was worried Dress Barn might be meeting the same fate, so I was relieved and began seriously shopping.

I found two dresses that I liked, but they did not have either in my size. The largest size for one was a Misses size 12 and the other a Misses size 14. I threw caution to the wind – maybe they would fit since my weight loss was verging on 20 pounds.

In the dressing room, I slipped into the size 12 first and I did not bother zipping it up; it was so tight in the hips that knew it would be a futile effort.

I tried on the size 14 next. It fit like a glove and I had no trouble zipping it closed. And it looked absolutely gorgeous. It is new and not on the Dress Barn website yet, so I cannot show it to you, but the receipt (of course I bought it) calls it a "foil scuba midi: wine."

It is a figure-hugging sleeveless midi that just brushes my knees with a sexy short slit over the right leg. The dress has a large pink and silver floral pattern over a wine background and features a metallic sheen (the "foil"). It is a special occasion dress and I look forward to the next special occasion so I can wear it!

I was very happy with my purchase. And even better – I am now a Misses size 14!

Wearing Trina Turk (Source: Trina Turk)

Seth Atwell, male womenswear model

Tea Time

Wearing a simply beautiful dress from Simply Be

Friday afternoon, I went to Tea Roses Tea Room in Cromwell to attend a tea with three of my trans friends: Diana, Maryann and Robin.

I was dying to wear my new dress from Simply Be and this was the perfect occasion for it. According to the Simply Be website, "This Wolf & Whistle embroidered dress has a fitted body and loose fit skater skirt. The detailed floral embroidery and cap sleeves make this a cute day to evening piece." I accessorized with silver jewelry, black patent pumps, black bag and black tights. I thought my outfit looked amazing.

Yes, the hemline was short, but when did that ever hold me back? My wife must be mellowing. Usually she lets me know in a negative way when my skirt is too short, but on Friday she said she liked the look of the dress and even though the hemline was short, I had the legs to pull it off. (It was music to my ears!).

I drove to the tea room, met up with the girls and spent a leisurely afternoon attending a tea.

As I wrote after my previous visits to the tea room, it was a very feminine adventure. All of the customers and all of the staff were female and the room was beautifully appointed in a most feminine manner. We were referred to as "ladies" and treated as ladies by our hostess. It was all very nice and I highly recommend the experience.

During the afternoon, another table of ladies kept stealing glances at me. I don't know if they were trying to figure out if they had a transwoman or a ravishing beauty (or both) in their midst, but when I finally made eye contact with one of them, she smiled broadly and I returned the favor. I hope I made a good impression.

Wearing Simply Be (Source: Simply Be)

Jiang Du femulating in the 2016 Chinese film Miss High Heels.

Oldie, But Goodie

This is one of my favorite YouYube videos related to femulating and masculating. Enjoy!

 

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

A pair of circa 1960 professional femulators

Conundrum

By Paula Gaikowski

I’ve also noticed the paradox that Stana mentioned when interacting with women other than our wives.

I always enjoyed the affirmation that I received from other women. I have had women who were fascinated by my transgender narrative. They seem to share my joy and were interested in helping me.

When shopping for wigs at the Paula Young factory store, I always meet other women there that are helpful. The store is private and most women are my age. It’s a place where they feel comfortable.   When they see I value their opinion, they become inquisitive and delight in helping remodel me into a better version of being a women

There was one customer that I remember so well. She was helping me pick out wigs and helped me style them. We sat and had some deep conversations about her life, her gay brother and my transgenderism. She kind of rattled me when she told me that I make a great women and she hoped someday I would seek re-assignment since it was obvious that I was really a women.

I’ve had several MAC makeovers and the makeup artists and I have had some very personal conversations about being transgender, femininity and relationships.

One reoccurring question, “Why do you want to be a woman?” “What is motivating you?”

There’s this weird gushing that takes place and I can’t place in my mind what it’s about?

My guess is with Stana’s thought, that finally “a male” sees what it’s like to wear Spanx, heels and pantyhose for 10 hours or perhaps it’s the joy one feels when you win someone over to your point of view?

When a Baptist Pastor coverts a sinner and they see the light?

Is that gushing that we see in our lady friends?

What an endorsement!

We’ve come over from the dark side!

All things change when it’s their husband. Oh, yes!

In my previous analogy, having a transgender friend is a compliment, I want to be like you, I want to join you. It is a positive signal. To use an old phrase “Imitation is the is the sincerest form of flattery.”

The psychological pay-off for them is positive.

When it’s her husband, she no longer gets that positive pay-off. This change affects the paradigm her life is built on, her own identity as a heterosexual woman, her femininity, reputation, self-worth, children, marriage and materiel well-being could all be impacted by her transgender spouse.

Conundrum is an appropriate word, “a confusing and difficult problem or question.”

That could also being the definition for transgender.

Wearing Veronica Beard (Source: Veronica Beard)

Wayne Brady (center) and her fellow femulators on stage in Kinky Boots

Remembering Frederick’s

It's Throwback Thursday, so I am repeating this popular post. I hope you enjoy it.

Wearing my Fredericks' of Hollywood
purchases (bra, waist cincher and wig)

Forty-five years ago, when I began to seriously explore my femininity, I thought Frederick's of Hollywood was the be-all and end-all for femulating. They seemed to carry everything I needed – exotic lingerie, high heels, sexy hosiery, showgirl wigs, gaudy jewelry, cheap makeup, short skirts, skimpy tops and tight dresses. One-stop shopping for my inner slut!

Back then, there seemed to be a Frederick's store in every mall including the one near the apartment I lived in while attending law school. So when I finally mustered up the courage to buy my own feminine finery (instead of borrowing/swiping my mother's and sister's), I headed to the nearest Frederick's emporium.

As I recall, I bought my first bra with optional inserts, my first waist cincher and my first wig that day. It was in the fall, so I may have used the Halloween excuse, but I don't think so because I recall the saleswoman trying to push all sorts of products on me – stuff that I would not need beyond a one-time Halloween party.

With my natural B-cups, I surely did not need the optional inserts for the bra I was purchasing, so after she talked me into buying the inserts anyway, I stood my ground and insisted that my pocketbook was only so deep and I could only afford the bra, inserts, cincher and wig.

She finally relented, rang me up and I was on my way down the yellow brick road.

So that day, I made my first purchases of “girl stuff” from Frederick's of Hollywood. Where did you buy your first “girl stuff?” Do you have a Frederick’s of Hollywood story?

Wearing (left) Sarah Magid earrings, Alessandra Rich dress, Giuseppe Zanotti shoes and (right) Lizzie Fortunato earrings, Misha dress, Aquazzura shoes, Tambonita bag (Source: Intermix)

Don Winslow in the Navy, 1940

Why I am the way I am... maybe

After reading Nadine's recent post "Of Course I Want Boobs," I got to thinking about my own boobs and recalled what I wrote eight years ago. 

My mother had a miscarriage before she had me.

Back then, physicians prescribed Diethylstilbestrol (DES) to prevent miscarriages in women who had had previous miscarriages.

Did my mother take DES? She is deceased, so I will never know. But, if she did take DES, then that may explain why I am the way I am.

DES can cause feminization of the male fetus and some studies suggest that otherwise-male children exposed to DES before birth may be more likely to be transsexual women than male children who have not been exposed.

Although I will never know if my mother took DES, there are other indications that she did. For example, I have Gynecomastia and although the causes of Gynecomastia remain uncertain, it has generally been attributed to an imbalance of sex hormones, that is, too much estrogen.

In addition to Gynecomastia, I am more womanly than the average guy in other ways. For example, my mannerisms and speech patterns have feminine traits and my emotions are more feminine than masculine.

A few years ago, I was doing outreach with three transsexuals at a local college and a student asked how the transsexuals' hormone regimen affected them. All three transsexuals admitted that they became more emotional after they began their hormone regimen, for example, one stated that she never cried at movies before taking hormones, but after taking hormones, she cried at movies all the time. I spoke up that I never took hormones and that I cry at movies all the time!

An overabundance of female hormones may be the cause of my proclivity for the feminine. And my parents may have nurtured that proclivity.

Dad was absent in my early life working two jobs to support his wife and kids. Mom cherished her firstborn child (me), coddled and pampered me and instilled in me many traits that were considered "feminine." With Dad absent early-on, Mom was all I had to model myself after and that I did, which just compounded my feminization.

I had two strikes against me (too many female hormones and too little male role modeling) and when my third opportunity to swing came, I just stood there with the bat on my shoulder and was called out (of the male gender) on a called third strike.

I did not bother swinging because I liked myself. I was very satisfied with the results of the first two strikes. I liked the way things were turning out. I did not mind being a girly boy.

Except for some abuse from the bullies and rejection by their female followers, being a girly boy was a pretty good deal. I could partake in whatever boy or girl pursuits interested me and not have to worry about tarnishing my image.

And when I took up the male pursuit of female impersonation, I found that I excelled at it because I already spoke and acted like a lady, I took to the art of cosmetics like a swan takes to water, and I could fill a size 38B bra without any padding.

And so it goes.

Wearing BooHoo (Source: BooHoo)

Willi Besle, professional femulator in early 20th Century Germany

Sizes: Good News and Bad News

The Bad

On Friday, I mentioned buying a new Rago bra and girdle. The garments arrived Friday afternoon and I tried them on to see how they fit. I ordered the bra and girdle sizes that I usually wear, so I was very disappointed that both items were too small.

I put the girdle on OK and it hugged me like a glove, but it was not long enough. Although it is billed as "high waisted," it barely reached my waistline and was obviously not designed for women who are 5 feet 14 inches tall. I returned it for a refund.

The bra was very tight. The cups were a perfect fit for my breasts, but the band was too small by about an inch and a half, so I sent it back and ordered the next larger band size. If you purchase this bra, I advise you to order it one band size larger than the size you think you need.

Update: The replacement bra (one band size larger) arrived today and it fits perfectly.

The Good

I joined JustFab about four years ago. On the first day of each month, they email me suggestions of new footwear that match my style requirements.

They have a nice selection of shoes and boots at reasonable prices (about $40 a pair), but size 11 was the largest size they offered. Sometimes 11 fits me, so early on, I ordered some heels from JustFab, but I had to return them because they were too small.

Even though I stopped buying footwear from JustFab, they kept emailing me new suggestions every month and every month, I rejected their suggestions. (If I don't reject them, they bill me after the 5th of the month whether I choose something or not.)

Retro-girl that I am, I have had a hankering for a pair of white booties. So when the monthly JustFab email arrived on Sunday, I decided to explore their offerings just for the heck of it and lo and behold, they had a pair of white booties to die for... if they only offered them in my size!

And then I noticed that they had the boots in size 12! I checked other boots and shoes that they offered and discovered that most of them also had a size 12 option.

I had no idea that JustFab started selling size 12's! When did that happen?

Needless to say, I ordered the booties and they are on their way.

Wearing JustFab (Source: JustFab)

Mart Müürisepp femulates Nancy Sinatra on Estonian television's Your Face Sounds Familiar.

Girls & Boys

Girls & Boys is a short 2015 Swedish film that depicts high school life in a matriarchy, "a world where girls are hunters and boys are the catch."

I had never heard of this film and only discovered it while Googling something else on a rainy day this past weekend.

When I viewed the trailer for the film on YouTube, I was floored. See for yourself.

Yes, the boys are the ones in long hair, makeup and high heels, while the girls are in trousers and short hair.

The film's "teaser" on YouTube made me want to see more.



I searched for more and found the film's Facebook page and one short clip from the film, but nowhere can I view or purchase the film. If anyone has a lead on where to buy or see the film, I would appreciate it.

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

Poster for the film Girls & Boys (that's girl, girl, boy, girl, girl, boy, boy and boy in the photo)

Femulating at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

By Starla, Femulate Contributing Editor

(Artist conception)

Trump Son-in-law Registered to Vote as a Woman

This odd little news item has been all but abandoned by the press after it first hit the wires. (It's almost like they're not sure what to make of it.)

There is so much odd and unexplained about this revelation. Was this a purposeful act? Or a typo that never got fixed? (Or was it a Freudian slip? –Stana) I mean, I don't know why a male would register as a female on purpose unless they were transitioning or leading a de factro female life. And one would think that an obvious male voting with a female-coded registration would raise a few eyebrows, no?

In fact, speaking of eyebrows... is it just me or have others noticed that Kushner's brows are rather thin, well-shaped and groomed for a man? And what about his slight build and very smooth complexion? And that's a rather feminine gesture he's making in the photo accompanying the link.

Might or might not add up to something. I'm just sayin'...

Actually, before this story even hit the press, I had mentally checked off Kushner as one of those men who looked like he would make a very attractive female. Wouldn't shock me if he were a crossdresser.

I concur. The first time I saw him many months ago, my trans radar sounded off. Shaped, thinned and trimmed eyebrows are often a sign that a femulator is in our midst and this gent certainly has girlish brows, not to mention his clear complexion. Researching this matter further on the Internet, I also discovered that Kushner has a feminine "light tenor voice." Lucky! – Stana

Wearing ModCloth (Source: ModCloth)

Femulating on her big day!

Girdling My Loins

My diet has been very successful. Maybe too successful because I now have some loose skin where there used to be firm fat particularly on my thighs.

I am taking non-surgical steps to tighten the loose skin, but in the meantime, I am girdling my loins. I purchased a high-waisted long leg shaper or old school "girdle." It is from Rago and it is just like the girdles my mother used to wear — the girdles I borrowed from my mother when I started down the femulating path.

I also bought a Rago long line bra. I am hoping that with my weight loss and the combination of high-waisted girdle and long line bra, that I can forgo wearing a waist cincher, thus lightening my foundation garment regime.

A nice feature of this Rago girdle is that it has a slit in the crouch crotch that allows you to urinate without removing the girdle. (I have owned girdles that do not have this slit and in those cases, I have opened up the seam and created my own slit.)

Another nice feature is the built-in removable garters and clips, a feature that is often missing in 21st Century girdles and shapers.

The all-male cast of The Golden Girls: The Lost Episodes

Kids

In yesterday's post, I pondered how women react to our femulations. In general, spouses react negatively, while non-spouses react positively, but your mileage may vary.

What about the kids?

When my wife was pregnant, I worried about having a son. How would my son react to my crossdressing? Would it be better off if I hid my femulations from my son?

Then again, I am not the most masculine guy. In fact, I am so feminine that throughout my life, I was considered gay. What effect would a feminine male role model have on my son?

Thank, Goddess, we had a daughter. She turned out to be my greatest ally and once she even confided in me that if I decided to go all the way and have HRT and SRS, she would have my back.

Over the years, I have found that the daughters usually support their transgender Dads. I do know from second hand experience that is not always the case, but in more cases than not, I have seen daughters lovingly help their fathers transition into the women they really are.

What about kids who aren't your kids?

Twenty-five years ago, kids who aren't your kids would consider us freaks. They might laugh and insult us in public.

Today's kids are much more familiar with transgender folks. They see transgenders in the media every day and they may have friends or acquaintances who are questioning their gender, so being transgender is not a big deal.

In the past, I had to be careful femulating when my daughter had friends visiting her. I either had to sneak around the house or worse, use the cheap motel option. But even that has changed. My daughter's last boyfriend saw me crossdressed a couple of times and did not give a damn.

And so it goes.

Wearing Traffic People (Source: Simply Be!)

Roscoe "Fatty" Arbuckle femulating in the 1917 film Coney Island.

Our Female Admirers

I understand why a spouse or significant other (SO) would not embrace crossdressing by their partner. Among other things, a spouse or SO may feel that her man is less of a man if he crossdresses.

On the other hand, I don't understand why other women are often very enthusiastic when they encounter a crossdresser who is not their spouse or SO (not that there is anything wrong with that).

I frequently encounter other women who gush over my emulation. My female managers and co-workers loved it when I crossdressed for work. Believe me, I love any female's appreciation for what I am doing, but I am at a loss as to the reason for their appreciation.

Maybe some of the women who gush over femulators get some satisfaction from the fact that a member of the so-called "dominant sex" is trying to emulate a member of the so-called "weaker sex." ("Welcome to our club.")

Maybe some women admire femulators for being true to themselves.

I dunno. It's just another conundrum in a bucket full of conundrums that crossdressers and femulators encounter.

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

Professional femulator Harvey Lee