Internet helped her be herself

“I learned that I wasn’t alone. I learned about all these different life possibilities and options.” —Chelsea Manning on how the Internet helped her be herself.

Read the rest of Chelsea's story in the September issue of Vogue here.

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

Adam Bailey femulating on the UK stage in Taboo.

Top 20!

I was very surprised to receive an email this morning informing me that my blog had been selected by Feedspot as one of the Top 100 Transgender Blogs on the web. I was even more surprised when I checked the Top 100 list to discover that Femulate was in the number 20 slot! Wow – what an honor!

FYI, Feedspot uses the following criteria to rank blogs from the thousands of top transgender blogs in their index using search and social metrics:

👠 Google reputation and Google search ranking

👠 Influence and popularity on Facebook, twitter and other social media sites

👠 Quality and consistency of posts

👠 Feedspot’s editorial team and expert review

And so it goes!

Wearing Miu Miu (Source: Matches Fashion)

Kate Middleton and Grayson Perry discussing the ideal corseted waistline for femulating.

Who did your makeup?

Diane commented on my Just for Halloween? post:

One time my wife and I went to a costume party and everybody said I looked too good not to have dressed before. I would have thought someone would ask about how much clothes do you have and how are you so good at makeup.

No co-worker has ever asked me about the quantity of womenswear in my closet, however, my makeup acumen has raised the curiosity of more than one female co-worker.

Typically, they have asked if my wife did my makeup. My reply is that I did my own makeup because there was no way that my wife was going to get up at 5 AM to do make up my face. (By the way, my wife stopped wearing makeup about 15 years ago and even when she did, she would ask me to help because I was more expert at applying makeup than she was.)

When I replied, I did my makeup, sometimes they asked if they could have a closer look. When I said, "Go for it," they got up real close to give my makeup the once-over. They usually complimented me with comments like "You do your makeup better than I do" or "Can you give me some makeup lessons?" or "You could be a female impersonator."

And so it goes.

Wearing Boston Proper (I love this dress! Source: Boston Proper)

Alex Ringler and Marty Thomas femulating on stage in Pageant: The Musical.

Just for Halloween?

Hello Stana,

I have a couple of queries regarding your "fancy dress" work appearances (which iI'm guessing is some kind of white-collar environment):

1 - Don't your colleagues ask you (well, at least female ones anyway, as men might think their masulinity and/or sexuality might be questioned in some way if they did): How come you seem to be very good at turning yourself into a woman and enquire as to if there might be a bit more to it than the occasional halloween appearance?

2 - Do all (or even any) of your female colleagues dress so smartly and glamourously for work? I suspect not in this day and age, where even most offices allow casual wear (which means it's far more likely trousers are worn rather than skirts and dresses).

Yours,

Gina V

👠👠👠

Hi Gina,

1 - Believe it or not, no one, male or female, has ever asked. Some have made humorous comments and some have complimented me on my appearance. I can only recall one snarky comment: one fellow wonderers how I just happened to have all the makings of my costume just for Halloween, inferring that I dressed on other occasions, too.  

2 - There were about 15 females in my office (about 60 males). About half the women are engineers or programmers and they dress casually. The other half are office workers and they dress like office girls. Some (like me) dress nicer than others, so I definitely fit in with the office girls.

Halloween is less than three months away. Although I am semi-retired, some of my former co-workers asked if I would visit them en femme on October 31.

I said I would.

Wearing Caroline Constas top, Jonathan Simkhai dress and Giuseppe Zanotti sandals (Source: Intermix)

Fashion blogger Bryan Boy femulates Vogue editor Anne Wintour, Halloween 2014

Sunday Afternoon

One week has passed since my last posting here. Since then, I have received e-mails wondering why the lapse and if I am OK.

I assure you that all is well and I am just enjoying my first care-free summer since 1967.

Two Sundays ago, the other women in this abode attended a bridal shower. I was not invited since the people doing the inviting were not aware that I am a woman, too. So I had the whole afternoon to myself.

It was hot and humid, so I dressed appropriately. Since losing weight, I don't need all the shapewear I needed in the past, which is a blessing in this weather. I just wore a waist cincher to add some curvature to my figure.

I wore my last Dress Barn purchase again because it is perfect for summer weather. It is sleeveless, collarless and made of a light and airy material.

After dressing, but before departing, I took the dogs out to do what they had to do. One pass up and down our long driveway is all that is required, but I have never done it in broad daylight (pun intended). Two cars drove by and since we live on a dead end, they were likely neighbors not not strangers passing through, but I doubt if they recognized me.

My day out was uneventful.

I shopped at a relatively new Dress Barn store and was welcomed by a pretty sales rep, who immediately recognized the dress I was wearing and complimented me on my outfit. I tried on a few things, but I did not find anything that I wanted to buy.

Then I went to my favorite Chinese restaurant where I had dined in boy mode with the family just a few weeks ago. The waiter, who is also the owner and the same person who waited on us during our previous visit, seated me and did not seem to recognize me. He referred me as "Miss" throughout the hour I spent at the restaurant and did not blink an eye when I went to the ladies' room before departing.

I drove home, took the dogs out again and then decompressed after a pleasant Sunday afternoon as my true self.

Wearing Moda Oprandi (Source: Moda Operandi)

Boy-Girl-Boy, Halloween 1978

Workplace Rights

Despite major wins within the LGBTQ community in recent years, many transgender and non-conforming gender individuals feel there’s still a lot more to do in the fight for equality both in and out of the office.

Here is a helpful guide for transgender workers, from new graduates just entering the workforce to seasoned working professionals, as well as employers and hiring managers. Learn more about current transgender workplace rights, how to navigate some of the biggest workplace and job hunting concerns, and see what employers can do to lay the foundation for safe and inclusive work environments.

Transgender and non-conforming gender (TGNC) individuals are protected by policies and laws intended to eliminate harassment and discrimination. While some protections are at the federal level, many states, counties, and cities have their own policies in place. “Protection laws differ from state to state, so it’s important that you check the state in which you work,” notes Dr. Kristie Overstreet, a clinical sexologist and psychotherapist who specializes in transgender identities.

Where I live (Connecticut), we have been protected for some time. My former company had policies in place even before the state and my Human Resources representative was ready and willing to help me to transition into a working woman whenever I was ready. I was also greeted with open arms when I inquired about working as a woman at a local Dress Barn. That's Connecticut and your mileage may vary depending on where you live, so check out the Workplace Guide and see where you stand.

Wearing Ann Taylor (Source: Ann Taylor)

Benjamin Koldyke femulating in television's Work It!

Young and Beautiful

After yesterday's breaking news, I did not bother with the usual Femulatee and Femulator spots. To make up for it, I proffer you nine photos from flickr of an unknown scholastic womanless beauty pageant.

Starla alerted me to the photos. We were both very impressed with the quality of the femulations and suspect that some of the girls may not be civilians.

Without further ado, here are the beauties.

Breaking News: Dupe Bans Trans from Military

On Wednesday, the Russian dupe in our White House tweeted that the United States will not “allow or accept” any transgender person to serve in the military.

The Liar-in-Chief claims that it consulted with “generals and military experts” on the sweeping policy. “Our military must be focused on decisive and overwhelming victory and cannot be burdened with the tremendous medical costs and disruption that transgender in the military would entail. Thank you,” it tweeted.

(Source: Fox News)

Here's "Heels" to Your Health

By Pat Scales, Guest Blogger

Last week Stana posted a blog entry along with a link about a British study that explained how wearing heels was helpful for women, especially older women, to maintain their sense of balance. Because wearing heels reinforces muscle memory and requires a good sense of balance, the practice of wearing heels served to help heel wearers to generally keep a better sense of balance. The end result was a significant decrease in falls.

The premise is that balance requires the brain to process a vast amount of information from various conscious and sub-conscious sources and that wearing heels challenges those internal brain mechanisms that over time helps maintain a better sense of balance. One of the major problems with aging is falling with fractured hips or other untoward consequences. As such, improving balance by wearing heels is consistent with good health and could even save someone for a severe injury or premature death. The study concluded that women's sense of balance deteriorates if they stop wearing heels.

I can also advise of other health advantages of wearing heels. About 30 years ago, I suffered a bad fall when a ladder broke and I dropped about eight feet. I suffered herniated and bulging disks through my entire lower back. At the time, skiing was a favorite sport, but for two years after the fall, I did not ski.

Finally, I decided to risk a day sliding down a snowy mountain. Amazingly, after a day in ski boots, my back felt much better. After a few more outings I realized that the ski boot raised my heel and pressed my knees forward. This position change, identical to that of wearing heels, served to change the architecture of my low back and alleviated the stress on this part of my body.

I found that by wearing heels as often as possible, I was able to control and eliminate much of my lower back pain. Standing flat footed, such as in line or just hanging around with others, resulted in a weak and painful back. My solution is to wear heels to help back pain.

From time to time, I also suffer from heel spurs (plantar fasciitis).  Typical treatment would be a painful shot of cortisone, but this cannot be done too often. My podiatrist said that in addition to doing exercises, I should wear shoes with a heel. He suggested 1.5 to 2 inches.

While most of my guy shoes are still pretty flat, I do wear my 3-inch pumps as often as possible and they have a wonderfully positive effect of my heel spur pain. My heel spurs do not hurt while wearing high heels and for a considerable period  of time after taking off my heels. Being flat footed or wearing flat shoes is bad for my heel spur pain.

Finally, I am happy to report that wearing high heels can help with constipation. After the hideous stunt by Kathy Griffin of holding up a bloody, fake head to simulate the decapitation of President Trump, there was some publicity about her being dropped as the spokeswoman of "Squatty Potty." While I do have to deal with occasional bouts of constipation, I was not aware of the healthful benefits of the Squatty Potty. After the Griffin gaffe, I checked out Squatty Potty, which claims to "...make your bad poops good and your good poops great."

The theory is that squatting to poop (as is the practice in many parts of the world which do not use elevated toilet seats) "reduces strain by relaxing the the puborectalis muscle and unkinking your colon. The Squatty Potty puts you into a natural squatting position for better elimination."

When I looked at the photo of the Squatty Potty in use, I realized that all it really did was raise the foot 4 to 6 inches and I determined I could achieve the same result with a pair of high heels. The solution was obvious. I could send $25 to $30 to Squatty Potty or I could use the money to buy another pair of heels. I thought this was an ingenious justification for the purchase of another pair of heels.

Many of us have wives who love us, but fear and worry about our dressing habits. Perhaps educating them about the health benefits of wearing high heels would help them see the benefits of having a crossdressing husband.

As noted above ,I do suffer from back pain from time to time. The doctor and the chiropractor have both provided me with back braces. For the most part they stay in the closet since I prefer girdles, corsets and shapewear. I find that I get more relief and certainly more enjoyment wearing my feminine shaping garments than the orthopedic braces. I also find that wearing a corset or girdle helps me cut down on my food consumption.

I suspect that there are other health benefits of dressing as a woman, but these are ones that work for me both for the physical benefits noted above and for helping my wife accept and have a more positive outlook towards my preferred style of attire.

Wearing Veronica Beard (Source: Veronica Beard)

Du Jiang femulates in the 2016 Chinese film Mr. High Heels.

Etched Lace Men's Bra

Alison alerted me to this "Etched Lace Men's Bra."

The description for this men's brassiere reads, "We love the clean lines of this crisp monochromatic crop-top for men. Made from a medium-weight stretch fabric embossed with an etched lace design, this bra features a curved inset of lace at the bust for contouring. With a shaped athletic-styled back and pop-over styling for easy access. Etched Lace Men's Bra."

So, who is selling this item of lingerie for lads?

You would probably guess it was an online exotic lingerie store, but you would be wrong. It's Walmart!

Walmart also sells panties for men.

What is this world coming to? 😉

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

Daniel Furlong, male womenswear model

Shopping at Fantasia Fair

I just received an email from a reader who plans to attend Fantasia Fair for the first time. She is excited about being able to shop for clothing while en femme in Provincetown.

Well, I hate to rain on her parade, but clothes shopping in Provincetown during Fantasia Fair is usually disappointing.

Since it is "off-season" or the "end-of-the-season," depending on whom you ask, some of the stores are closed for the year, while the stores that are still open are open on a limited schedule (reduced hours and/or reduced days like Thursday through Sunday or less).

While there may be end-of-the-season sales at the stores that are still open, it is so end-of-the-season that everything is picked over. All that is left is stuff that nobody else wants and not necessarily in sizes for girls like us.

So be forewarned.

Wearing Kendra Scott earrings (Source: WhoWhatWear)

A 1965 womanless wedding in the UK.

Got Balance?

According to a story in the Daily Mail, "When it comes to high heels, surprisingly, experts believe that wearing them into our 70s may actually help protect us from falls, by maintaining our sense of balance.

"'Most high heels have a very small surface area to walk on, so you need a good sense of balance and proprioception [a sense of how various parts of the body move relative to each other] to be able to walk in them,' explains Christopher Walker, a consultant in trauma and orthopaedic surgery at the Royal Liverpool University Hospital.

"'This means that because of wearing high heels, women have a very good sense of balance.'

"Balance involves the brain processing vast amounts of information from different areas, including the eyes, muscles and balance mechanisms in the ear.

"Heels challenge your sense of balance which, over years, hones these mechanisms.

"If women stop wearing heels, their sense of balance can actually deteriorate, adds Mr Walker, who also works at the Bone and Joint Centre, Spire Liverpool Hospital."

Read the rest the Daily Mail story here.

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

Manly females admiring femulating male.