Failures in Femulation : Bad Hair Daze

Caveat emptor: I have no formal training in the arts related to femulation. However, I do have over 50 years experience practicing those arts and have become so adept at them that I pass more often than not.

Inexpensive wigs are attractive to femulators because they are inexpensive. Their attractiveness ends there because a cheap wig by any other name is still a cheap wig.

When you wear a cheap wig, there is no fooling anyone that the hair on your head is fake. And when people see that you are wearing a wig, they might examine you more closely and find other clues that give away your natal gender.

I have owned a few cheap wigs in my time and I have photos wearing those cheap wigs that convinced me to go upscale in the wig department. “Upscale” meant spending $99 rather than $49 for a wig.

It was an improvement, but not good enough. A $99 wig was still relatively inexpensive for a wig (it was just a more expensive "cheap" wig).

Also, I did not know what wig was best for me. I tried different styles, different lengths, and different colors, but always avoided blond shades and short lengths.

I avoided blonds because I thought that blond was oh so drag. All the boys who wanted to be girls wanted to be blond girls.

Also, I avoided short lengths because I thought my head was too big to be properly covered with a short wig.

A trip to a pro convinced me otherwise.

A local wig shop often hosts a meeting of my support group. A few years ago, I was the hostess, which meant that I showed up early to bring the refreshments. I had no intention of buying a wig; it was just another opportunity to be out en femme, so I was happy to be the hostess and not necessarily a wig customer.

We had an excellent turn-out and new wigs were flying out the door throughout the evening. As things were winding down, the wig shop owner, Kathy, said it was my turn. She sat me down at a mirror and went to the back room to fetch a wig she thought would be perfect for me.

A few minutes later, she returned with a short blond wig.

I thought to myself, "Oh no, she's is making a mistake."

She pulled the wig over my head, finger-combed it a bit and then let me look in the mirror.

In a very soft voice, I said, "Oh, my god!"

The wig looked absolutely fabulous on me and I did not think twice about purchasing it.

That wig ("Ryan" by Noriko on my head in the photo above) was not cheap by any means, but it was worth every penny. It pushed my femulation skills up a few notches.

I lost count how many times people complimented me about my hair and how many times those same people were shocked to find out I was wearing a wig. (I never received such reactions wearing my $99 wigs.)

So the bottom line is (1) seek out a professional wig seller for advice concerning the best wig color, style and length for you and (2) be willing to spend much more than $99 for a wig.

Thought for the Day

Femulating is hard work, but I love my job!

Wearing Saylor (source: Rent the Runway).

Will Forte femulating on television's 30 Rock.

What to Wear to the Fair?

I will be driving to southwestern Ohio next week to attend Hamvention.

I am still undecided about what to wear due to the change of venue from a large convention hall to a  half dozen separate buildings and tents at a country fairgrounds. Needless to say, I will forgo my usual Hamvention wear (dress and heels) for something more casual.

Leggings, jeans, shorts, skirt with a top?

Probably not jeans because jeans are too casual – after all, I will be staffing a booth and representing my group as its secretary, director and newsletter editor.

Maybe I should go to Dress Barn and ask them to put a casual, but not too casual outfit together for me.

Any suggestions?  

Thought for the Day

If I transitioned, would Monday mornings be more bearable because I would be facing the world as a woman?

Wearing FRAME blazer, Ganni Dalton shirt and IRO shorts (source: Intermix).

Cast members of an all-male stage production of Annie.

One of the Girls?

Two co-workers (one female and one male) from two of our other offices visited here this week.

On an earlier visit, I noticed that the male had pierced earring holes, but was not wearing earrings. He was still not wearing earrings this week, but I noticed that the holes had not closed up for lack of use.

On Wednesday, the three of us went out for lunch and invited along our location's administrative assistant, who I will identify as MJ for the purposes of this post.

Back in 2012, when I went to work dressed as a woman for Halloween, my boss suggested a trick to play on MJ. Go to MJ's office and say, "I am the new receptionist and I was told that you are supposed to train me."

I followed my boss' suggestion and MJ was completely fooled. She said that no one had informed her of my training, but she was ready to have at it.

Before it went any further, I asked, "Don't you know who I am?"

She shook her head "no," so I confessed and she was absolutely floored! She admitted that she really had no idea who I was, nor that I was a male.

Anyway, at lunch on Wednesday, we were discussing the recent death of another receptionist. One thing led to another and MJ told the "new receptionist" story to our visitors. The female co-worker was intrigued, but not convinced that my "costume" could fool MJ.

MJ retorted, "He is very good."

When we returned to the office, I showed the female co-worker a photo of me dressed that day for work.

She was speechless and duly convinced.

The male co-worker with the pierced earring holes was also speechless, but in a different way. When MJ told her "new receptionist" story, he seemed a little uncomfortable and did not participate in that part of the conversation.

I am not assuming anything, but that deafening silence combined with the vacant pierced earring holes makes me wonder if he is a civilian or just one of the girls.

Thought for the Day

If I presented 24/7 as a woman, I would be slim because my shapewear would prevent me from eating much.

Wearing Nicholas dress and Suzanna Dai earrings (source: Intermix).

Cezar Ouatu femulates on the Romanian version of television's Your Face Sounds Familiar.

Our Own Calendar

Occasionally, people ask me if there are any online calendars of transgender events. Each time someone asks, I do a little Googling and find what they need. Someone asked that question last week and Google pointed me to the 2017 Trans Conference Guide on the TransGuys.com.

In my opinion, it is by far the best one I have ever seen in all my years of Googling such things and I highly recommend bookmarking it in your browser. If you don't do that, you can always find it in my Tool Links in the right hand column of this blog.

Thought for the Day

Religious freedom means that we all have a right to our religious beliefs, but this does not give us the right to use our religion to discriminate against and impose those beliefs on others who do not share them.

Wearing Johanna Ortiz (source: Johanna Ortiz).

Lovely Lenore (source: Barry Kay)

See

See Pearl of Africa

Pearl of Africa is now released on Netflix. A documentary about love, hate and being transgender in in one of the world’s most transphobic places, Uganda, it's an intimate and authentic love story about the inspiring woman Cleopatra Kambugu and her boyfriend Nelson.

Here is the link to the film's trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUSbe8b3FV0

See Alison

Alison, WA1YKL

Alison, WA1YKL, is a long-time reader of this blog as well as a ham radio sister. This weekend, she will be attending NEAR-Fest (New England Amateur Radio Festival) in Deerfield, NH. Alison is looking forward to meeting up with any other trans sisters attending the event. She will be wearing a purple top with her call sign badge (WA1YKL), so she will be easy to spot in the crowd.  

Thought for the Day

Being a woman is so very addictive.

Wearing Alexis dress, Lele Sadoughi earrings and Edie Parker clutch (source: Intermix)

The all-male cast of Re-Designing Women.

Experience the Difference

Starla sent another batch of femulating fotos she uncovered from various online school yearbooks.

There were some excellent femulations in this batch, but the one that interested me the most was Steven White's Marilyn Monroe Halloween femulation at Episcopal School of Dallas (Texas) in 2003.

For starters, the photo shows Steven posing next to a girl in the same Marilyn Monroe costume, but I am not sure which Marilyn is Steven and which Marilyn is the girl, so good job, Steven!

Secondly, Steven's commentary on the experience is refreshing; you can read it for yourself to the right.

You may view the rest of Starla's new photos on flickr by opening one of my flickr Yearbooks sets (A through Z). There you will find the newest uploads at the end/bottom of the set. (The oldest uploads appear at the beginning/top of the set.)

The contents of the Yearbook A through Z sets are organized according to school name, for example, the photos from Sacred Heart High School would be in the Yearbooks S set.

By the way, if you participated in your school's womanless beauty pageant or attended some other school activity en femme, I would love to post your photos along with any description you would like to provide. (No one has taken me up on this offer, so far, but I am still hopeful and very patient!)

Thought for the Day

“It took me many years to accept, to fully internalize that if someone can look at me and tell I’m trans, that’s not only okay—that’s beautiful, because trans is beautiful.” — Laverne Cox (source: HuffPost)

Wearing Venus (source: Venus)

Three gurls and four guys, circa 1960

Just Another Day in Pair of Wedges

Shoes

Saturday, I slipped on my wedge heels (Payless' Mink Wedge from Fioni) at 7 AM and took them off at 5 PM. By my calculations, that's ten hours in 3-1/2-inch heels and my feet never complained.

My experience is that wedge heels are very comfortable even wearing them over long periods of time. During one of my recent stints at Hamvention, I wore a pair both days that I attended the event ― most of the time standing while staffing a booth on a concrete floor and I had happy feet at the end of each day. So I swear by wedges and need to add more to my shoe collection.

RIP

After a wonderful Saturday at the Transgender Lives Conference, I saw an obituary in Sunday's newspaper that broke my heart. A 20-something transperson died. Her name was listed with a male first name, followed by a female first name in parenthesis and then her surname, e.g., Michael (Michelle) Smith.

I assumed she was a transwoman because female pronouns were used throughout the obit and her photo presented a female visage.

Her cause of death was not mentioned, so I assumed the worst.

Thought for the Day

Living as a man is highly overrated.

Wearing ML Monique Lhuillier (Source: Rent the Runway)

Professional femulator Paolo Ballesteros and family.

Transgender Lives Conference

That's me Saturday afternoon at the Transgender Lives
Conference. I want to know what gravitational anomaly 
causes my necklace to fall over one breast rather than
between two breasts?

Saturday, I attended the Transgender Lives Conference at the UConn Health Center. Doors opened at 8 AM, the conference got underway at 9 AM and my presentation, "Makeup Basics for Trans Females," was at 9:30.

I live about 20 minutes away from the Health Center, but I was up at 5 AM because I have to feed the pets, clean the litter boxes, clean and refill the pets' bowls for their next feeding, get the newspaper from the tube at the end of the driveway and make myself a cup of coffee before I began to femulate, which got underway at 5:45 AM.

I shaved, showered, slipped on my undies, did my makeup and hair, got dressed and was out the door arriving at the Health Center shortly after 8 AM. I wore the same outfit I wore for my flat-tired outreach trip on Thursday, that is, a new "cut-out" top from Avon, relatively new dressy wedges from Payless and an old, but seldom-worn ankle-length split skirt from Newport News.

As I entered the Health Center, I was impressed with the number of people already in line to enter the Conference. I found out later that there were over 250 attendees, which is an all-time high for the conference (the Conference gets bigger every year).

After I checked in at the presenter's check-in table, I visited the continental breakfast spread, poured myself a glass of orange juice (I was thirsty, not hungry) and mingled with the attendees, saying "Hello" to friends and acquaintances, as well as many friendly strangers.

After attending Diana's welcoming remarks at 9 AM, I found the classroom where my presentation was to begin at 9:30. Ten people showed up: 8 solo and one couple.

When I gave this presentation last month at the True Colors Conference, I felt uncomfortable and I believe my presentation suffered as a result. The source of my discomfort was the fact that I am 66-years-old and I was addressing an audience whose average age was probably 17. What high school girl needs to hear about the benefits of eye wrinkle cream?

My audience Saturday was an older crowd, adults rather than kids, so I felt I had something to offer that would be beneficial to my audience. As a result, I was looser, told some related anecdotes and most of my attempts at humor were successful. Overall, it went very well.

After my presentation, I attended Rev. Moonhawk River Stone's workshop "Being Trans and Aging: A Workshop For Trans* Elders and Their Allies." Since I am on the brink of semi-retirement, I thought this presentation would be useful and I was correct.  

Next was lunch and I dined with two old friends from my support group, Andrea and Deja Vu, and a new acquaintance, Jamey from Florida. While I was eating, I saw my two best girlfriends from Fantasia Fair, Melissa and Natalie, in the lunch line, so as soon as I finished eating, I joined them at their table and we caught up on old and new times.

After lunch, I attended a presentation about family relationships, but I left at the half-way mark because it concentrated on parents and children, where the child was transitioning. It was interesting, but not very applicable to me, not to mention that the tiny classroom was packed with people and very uncomfortable. So I made a hasty exit and returned to the lobby where I found Diana and twisted her arm to take some photos, one of which appears above.

The last presentation I attended was Dallas Denny's "Ding, Dong, the Medical Model is Dead," which discussed the history of the origin and decline of the medical model of transsexualism. Being a history nut of sorts, I found this presentation both interesting and revealing. If you are a history nut, I suggest that you visit Dallas' website, which has a vast amount of equally interesting and revealing articles related to people of our sort.

After Dallas' presentation, I hung out in the lobby, where snacks could be had. I indulged with a delicious oatmeal raisin cookie and a Diet Pepsi and while doing so, struck up a conversation with a new acquaintance, Roberta, who was from my hometown. She even lived in my old neighborhood for awhile and attended my grammar school... small world!

It had been a busy day and the 5 AM wakeup call was taking its toll, so I decided to forgo the keynote address and awards presentations and instead, returned home.

It was a very good day. I saw a lot of my friends and a few Femulate readers including a ham radio sister from New Hampshire. The Conference was the best one I have ever attended and I look forward to the next one.

Wearing Veronica Beard (Source: Veronica Beard).

Professional femulator Maguette, who performed at the Eldorado in Berlin circa 1930. 

My Lucky Day

I was supposed to do outreach on Thursday for a Human Sexuality class at Southern Connecticut State University.

I wore a new "cut-out" top that I just got from Avon, relatively new dressy wedges from Payless and a very old, but seldom-worn ankle-length skirt from Newport News (remember them?). I took along my blue trench coat because light rain was in the forecast, then I grabbed my black purse and was out the door at 11:15 AM for a 45-minute drive to the campus.

Half way to New Haven, the rear passenger-side tire went flat. Luckily, I was on a two-lane state road and not an Interstate, so I was able to pull over to the side of the road without dodging traffic at Interstate speeds.

I have changed many tires in the past, but I have never changed one as a woman, so I was about to have a new real life experience. I knew my hands would get dirty, but I wondered if my stick-on nails would survive. I had the option of calling AAA, but from past experience, I knew I could change the tire before they would arrive on the scene and if I wanted to get to outreach on time, I had better do it myself.

So I switched to a pair of flats that I carry along just in case, got out of the car, opened the hatchback, got out the spare tire, car jack and wrench and it began to rain. Nuts!

I struggled loosening the lug nuts and just as I was about to jack up the car, it began to rain harder. I decided to wait until the rain slowed down, so I sat in my car, looking at my filthy hands and wondering how I would remove all the grime since all I had in the car were paper towels and no soap.

The clock was running. I was about 20 minutes away from campus and it was 20 minutes before the class started, so I knew at best I would be late getting to class. And the rain kept falling.

About five minutes later, the rain let up a little, so I decided to tackle the tire again. As I began jacking up the car, a car pulled up and parked behind me. A 20-something guy got out and said, "Let me do that. You go sit in the car" and proceeded to change the tire for me.

About five minutes later, he tapped on my window. "Ma'am, I have some bad news. Your spare is flat."

I suspected that the spare was good, just flat after sitting in my car unused for 10 years. Luckily (yes, it was my "lucky" day), I carry a tire pump that is powered through the cigarette lighter. It is slow, but it works. We got it going, inflated the spare and "Mike" finished changing the tire.

I thanked my knight in shining armor profusely and as he drove off, I looked at my watch. The class had already started and I figured that by the time I showed up, it would be almost over, so instead of driving to New Haven, I drove home to wash my hands.

Wearing Monse dress and Helmut Lang shoes (Source: ShopBop).

These Modern Times

Wearing Lagos (Source: Lagos).

Washington (D.C.) School for Boys Drama Club putting on a show in 1910.

Tempest in a Teapot

I occasionally receive emails from a reader who always finds something to criticize. Usually, her criticism is related to dressing my age. She is of the opinion that I should dress like an elderly woman.

Her latest missive was in regards to the outfit I wore to the GLAD reception on Sunday. For a change, she did not complain about what I wore.

"Congratulations. you finally look like a woman... No shoulders, knees or excessive amount of legs showing as would be the case with every well dressed 60 plus woman. They are so unattractive."

But she would not leave well enough alone and found something to criticize.

"Please, one final request. Don’t stand looking like a teapot with your arm on your hip. I have never seen any woman adopting that pose."

Huh? 

Does that mean all those women I see posing with their arms on their hips are not women?

As luck would have it, a recent Who What Wear newsletter had articles titled "10 Easy Steps to Looking More Photogenic" and "The Worst Poses to Strike in Photos (and How to Make Them Better)."

The latter offered this advice from Getty Images photographer Mike Coppola:

DON'T just stand there with your arms by your side.

DO put one or both hands on your waist. 

"Do put one or both hands on your waist like Gigi [model Gigi Hadid] to create negative space between your body and your arms. This also creates a beautiful line up to the face. You can choose to put one hand on your hip or both if you are taking a photo solo." Coppola says.

Both Who What Wear articles have great advice for posing for photos. They are recommended reading because you know how girls like us (elderly or otherwise) like to pose for photos!

Wearing Venus (Source: Venus).

Filipino actor Paolo Ballesteros