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Thank-you

Thank you all who passed along your kind thoughts to ease my grieving over the death of my dear cat.

She was the friendliest cat I have ever known. If you were her friend, she would start purring as soon as she saw you and would run over to greet you.

She will be irreplaceable and it will take a long time to get used to living without her.

Thank you all again!

Miss Eng'g

Auntie Marlena informed me that the 2017 installment of the Miss Engineering (Miss Eng'g) Facebook page is up and running and full of photos (like the one on the right) and videos from the amazing womanless beauty pageant put on annually at the College of Engineering, University of Philippines-Diliman.

Payless Closing 400 Stores

Payless Shoe Stores filed for bankruptcy and will be closing 400 stores. Here is a list of the store closings. My favorite Payless stores were not on the list; I hope your favorite stores miss the list, too.

Adam/Amanda

Actor Jackson Rathbone femulated on a 2009 episode of television's Criminal Minds playing a perpetrator with a split personality (Adam/Amanda).

In the past, I have seen photos of Jackson's excellent femulation (see below). Patty just alerted me to a behind-the-scenes video of the episode including Jackson's transformation from Adam to Amanda. It is worth the watch to see Jackson's femulation in motion.

Trans Health & Law Conference Workshop Schedule

The workshop schedule for the April 29th Trans Lives Conference at the UConn Health Center has just been published here and my "Makeup Basics for Trans Females" workshop is in the 9:30 to 10:30 AM slot. I hope to see you there!

Wearing Caroline Constas top and Cinq à Sept skort.

Jackson Rathbone femulating on TV's Criminal Minds.

Sunday in New York

June 14, 2009, was one of the nicest days I ever experienced as a woman. Here is how I described it in my blog eight years ago.

Sunday in New York and I dressed up for the day: my purple dress, jewelry, mid-heel Mary-Jane pumps, suntan pantyhose, etc.

My workshop ended about 2 PM and I returned to my hotel room to freshen up. After touching up my makeup, I went outdoors (the weather was perfect) and hailed a cab.

A cab stopped, I got in and told the driver to take me to Rockefeller Center.

The driver told me he could not take me there because the Puerto Rican Pride Parade on 5th Avenue blocked the path to the Rock. So, I got out of the cab and decided what to do.

I had fallen in love with a perfume sample of Aquolina Pink Sugar that I received at Sephora, so I decided to walk the six blocks to their West 34th Street store to buy the perfume.

It was my first time out wearing the mid-heel Mary Janes I bought a few weeks ago. When I paid for the shoes, the cashier commented that the shoe was popular with dancers because they are very comfortable and I was discovering the same thing as I walked from my hotel to Sephora.

In Sephora, I walked around the store looking for the perfume. During my hunt, I passed an older gentleman and as I walked by him, he turned to me and said, "I want to give you a kiss" and then he blew me a kiss!

Flabbergasted, all I could do was whisper, "Thank-you."

I found the perfume, paid for it, and exited with my heels never touching the ground!

Since my new shoes were cooperating, I decided to walk a half-block to Herald Square and take a few photos. After taking a few shots, I saw an empty chair and sat down to take a break. While I sat, I took a few photos of myself. They turned out OK, but I could only stretch my arm so far and I wanted something better.

Seated next to me was a older gentleman with a camera case in his lap. I tapped him on the shoulder and with a big smile, I asked him to take my photo. He smiled, I handed him my camera, and he took a photo of me.

After resting for five minutes, I decided to walk eight blocks up Broadway to Times Square. I took photos along the way and with no complaints coming from my feet, I decided to head east towards Rockefeller Center.

While waiting for the traffic light to give me the go-ahead to cross Broadway at West 45th Street, I took some more photos of Times Square. A trio of women joined me at the crosswalk and one asked me if I'd like her to take my photo. Of course, I accepted her invitation and the photo I posted here is the result of her handiwork.

Five more blocks and I was in the middle of Rockefeller Center. Foot traffic was light, so I thought it might be a good time to go to the Top of the Rock. I entered the RCA Building (you call it what you want, it will always be the "RCA Building" to me) and found the ticket counter for the Top of the Rock.

My timing was good; there were no lines and I was on my way. Before getting on the elevator to go to the top, I had to go through a the metal detector and I set it off. The guard looked at me, then waved me on with the words, "Must be your bracelets, hon'."

That was a new one! I've been called "miss" and "ma'am" before, but never "hon'." I smiled at the guard and got on the elevator.

Seventy stories later, I was on top of the RCA Building and the weather was perfect. Visibility was virtually infinite and the view was spectacular. To the south, the Jersey shore was visible, to the north, Catskill peaks poked over the horizon, to the northeast, I could see the Connecticut shoreline, and all around me was The City.

I spent about an hour atop, taking a lot of photos and taking it all in. I asked a couple of people to take photos of me and more than a couple of people asked me to do the same for them.

Next, I wanted to go to Saint Patrick's Cathedral, which is just across the street from Rockefeller Center. I took the elevator back down and walked to 5th Avenue. During this short walk, a young man cut me off and immediately apologized, "Excuse me, hon'."

Second "hon'" in an hour. I started to wonder if "hon'" was a New York thing, but I didn't care. A blown kiss and two hon's meant I was passing, however, I was about to receive another term of endearment that would seal it.

As I walked up 5th Avenue toward Saint Pat's, a small group of high school boys were heading towards me. As I passed through the group, I heard one of the boys say, "Dyke."

Now I knew I was passing!

I crossed 5th Avenue and entered Saint Pat's. There was a Mass in progress and the priest was just finishing the sermon.

This was a big deal for me. I was a Roman Catholic and my religion was the source of much needless guilt about crossdressing throughout my life. I overcame the guilt years ago and now I was entering the church for the first time en femme.

When I planned this visit, I thought it would be like spitting in the eye of the Church of Rome. "Take that for all the pain and suffering you brought down upon me for so long."

But instead of feeling vengeful, I felt wonderful. The prodigal son has returned, but now he is your daughter!

I decided to attend the Mass. I remembered and recited all the prayers and when it was time for the Sign of Peace, I exchange handshakes and "peace be with you's" with all the folks around me, or so I thought.

From behind me came an anxious voice, "Peace be with you, Ma'am. Peace be with you, Ma'am."

I realized I missed someone, so I turned around and exchanged another handshake and "peace be with you" with a fellow two rows behind me.

During the Mass, I noticed a reproduction of the famous painting, the Black Madonna of Częstochowa in one of the side altars of the cathedral.

Being a Pole, I checked it out and discovered that that side altar was dedicated to the saints of Poland. It included biographies, paintings, and sculptures of all the saints. After saying a prayer for all my deceased relatives at the side altar, I exited the cathedral.

It was now 7 PM and the last meal I had was breakfast, so I was hungry and decided to treat myself by having dinner at the Rink Bar, the outdoor bar/restaurant that resides in the Rockefeller Center ice skating rink when it is too warm for ice skating. My table for one was immediately in front of the fountain, so I did not feel lonely eating solo because Prometheus was right by my side.

I had peach sangria, watercress salad, rissota crab cakes, and coffee. They were all excellent and they were all only $50 and change!

After dinner, I hailed a cab and enjoyed the ride down 5th Avenue while reflecting on my wonderful day out en femme.

Wearing Carla Ruiz.

Siva Karthikeyan femulates in the 2016 Indian film Remo.

Short Post

My favorite cat was very sick. During the past few days, I was nursing her in between visits to the veterinarian.

Last night, I was massaging her when she died. Now she can rest in peace.

I need a break, so I will catch you later.

Girls Like Us?

Harvey Korman (center) femulating on The Carol Burnett Show.

Over the weekend, Sheila and I exchanged emails about films featuring femulators, specifically No Questions Asked and Rubbeldiekatz. Both films contain some pretty amazing femulations.

During our email exchange, Sheila commented, "It's fascinating to me that non-transgender or non-crossdresser men do not take any special ongoing interest in femulating after they do it in a film, play, TV show, or womanless pageant ... especially the 'pretty boys' who make beautiful women."

I responded, "I imagine that for most actors, dressing as a woman for a role is just another job. On the other hand, I bet there are a few actors who may not be civilians and love the opportunity to dress at work. Off the top of my head, Harvey Korman and John Ritter come to mind."

Harvey Korman and John Ritter crossdressed numerous times during their acting careers. Korman did so on television (often on The Carol Burnett Show, The Star Wars Holiday Show) and on film (Americathon). Ritter also did so on television (Three's Company, The Love Boat, Hooperman) and on film (Stay Tuned).

Those are just two examples. Stan Laurel also comes to mind...

...civilians or girls like us?

Wearing Alice + Olivia.

Matthias Schweighöfer (right) femulating in the 2011 German film Rubbeldiekatz.

To Come Out or Not

Meg of Call Me Meg fame wrote:

I know you're out a bit at work; you probably don't know how far out because you don't know who has been talking (gossiping) with whom. Also, I suspect you know more "out at work" T-people than most.

I have never read of someone coming out at work (or otherwise) and having someone else at the office or group pull them aside and say something like "I wish I had the nerve to come out here" or to compare notes or in any way say "me too."

Have you? Or is this like the elusive womanless events, where it exists only for other people?

Good question, Meg!

No one at my 9 to 5 job ever came out to me.

I am not out at work except to a handful of people. I am sure that others might suspect I am trans, but unless they heard it from me or from those who are in the know, they don't know for sure. As a result, they are likely to be hesitant to out themselves to me because they don't know if I am transgender or just a Halloween crossdresser.

On the other hand, in the ham radio world, I am very out there and present as a woman. In that world, I lost count how many civilians have come out to me as trans, both in person and by email... probably two to three dozen in all. They know I am a sister, so they are less/not hesitant to let the cat out of the bag.

And so it goes.

Wearing Diane von Furstenberg.

Bride and groom.

Snow, Sleet and Freezing Rain

Thursday evening, I transferred the contents of my boy wallet into my girl wallet and loaded it into my black bag. I also laid out the outfit I planned to wear to work on Friday, the Transgender Day of Visibility.

Friday is casual dress day at work, so instead of a dress or skirt outfit, I decided to wear my skinny jeans, a black top, white blazer, black heels and my unmentionables. A bottle of Veet was in the shower ready to do its job, my makeup mirror was set up ready for action and my crowning glory was all fluffed up.

Would the weather cooperate? The Friday forecast was for snow, sleet and freezing rain. The worst weather would be in the “higher elevations” — exactly where I live. When the weather is of the frozen precipitation variety, I work from home, so I crossed my fingers that the forecast was wrong.

Hungry cat woke me up at 5 AM and the first thing I did was check the weather. I looked outside. It was bad and looked to get worse as the day progressed, so I decided to stay home.

I was disappointed.

I am sure that some of the people at work suspect that I am transgender and I would not be surprised if the handful of people I came out to might have spread the word already. Nevertheless, as my working days wind down, I would have liked to use the day to leave my co-workers with a good impression of a person they knew who happened to be trans.

Wearing Alice + Olivia.

Julia Bravo, Femulate reader

Stana in High School

Womanless beauty pageants at Denham Springs High School in Louisiana are a tradition that goes back to at least the mid-1970's, according to the Femulate Womanless Archives. Their femulations are usually outstanding. Louisiana gets my vote for the state with the best scholastic femulations.

The "girls" at Denham Springs High are at it again. They just concluded this year's installment of the pageant, as recorded by The Advocate of Baton Rouge, which features 15 photos from the event. Click here to see them for yourself.

By the way, I love womanless pageants because I never had the opportunity to participate in one and  I compete vicariously in the pageants I encounter on the Internet.

In my high school, there was some womanless activity during my four-year stint. One year, the basketball team performed crossdressed for the fall musicale – they were poor femulations, but femulations nonetheless. Another year, two fellows did Sonny and Cher for the spring musicale. The guy femulating Cher wore a wedding gown and looked beautiful doing it.

Of course, I was jealous and in my heart, I knew I could have femulated as well, if not better than they did, but it never came to pass. I guess I've made up for it since then and if my high school class ever has another reunion, you can be sure that Stana will be in attendance instead of Stan.

Wearing Carla Ruiz.

Contestant number 13 at the 2017 Denham Springs High School womanless pageant gets my vote as most likely not a civilian. Get a load of her eyebrows! I don't recall ever seeing eyebrows like that on another high school womanless contestant. You go, girl!

Stana in Frock

Issue 42 of Frock magazine is now available and it includes an article by yours truly. "I Stopped Pretending to be a Woman" begins on page 58.

Frock is free, so take a peek!

Wearing Victoria Beckham (top and skirt) and Marni (clutch).

Ballerinos!

Conquering High Heels

Walking gracefully in high heels is probably in the top five on the difficulty list for most femulators. A WhoWhatWear article by Kat Collings attempts to make this difficult task less difficult. If you follow Kat's advice, you can become a femme fatale in high heels.

The following summarizes Kat's advice followed by my comments

👠 The easiest way to look like an amateur in heels is to put your whole foot down at once as if you’re wearing flats. When wearing heels, put your heel down first, followed by your toe. This will make your walk look more natural. –Kat

In other words, don't walk tippy-toed. –Stana

👠 Wearing heels makes your stride shorter than normal, so you’ll have to take an increased number of small steps to go the same distance. We’re not recommending baby steps, but don’t try to take your usual long strides either. –Kat

Don't walk like a man. –Stana

👠 Trying to walk quickly in heels often ends up looking quite awkward. Between the smaller steps and the compromised balance, it’s best to take your time in heels. Besides, walking slowly gives off an air of confidence. –Kat

That is, femme fatale confidence. –Stana

👠 You may find you want to walk faster than your heels will allow, and end up craning your neck forward to compensate. This ends up looking strange, so allow yourself to lean just the slightest bit back when walking in heels, as this will counteract your inclination to lean forward. –Kat

Walk too fast in heels and you may trip yourself and get hurt (been there, done that). –Stana

👠 When you want to draw a straight line, you’ll get better results if you look at your end point as you draw, rather than looking at your pencil as it moves. Similarly, when walking in heels, you’ll walk more gracefully if you look at your goal point (maybe it’s the podium at the end of the stage), and visualize a straight line going toward your end point, rather than looking down at your heels as you walk.–Kat

Looking down at your heels also makes you look suspicious, as if you are trying to hide in plain sight. This just brings more attention to yourself  (what's she trying to hide?), may cause civilians to examine you more closely and possibly blow your femulation (another been there, done that). –Stana

👠 As you take each step, or if you feel yourself slipping, arch your foot slightly to put pressure on the inside of your shoe. This will make your shoe fit closer to your foot, making it easier to maneuver. –Kat

Until I read Kat's tip, I didn't realize that I was doing this subconsciously.–Stana

👠 If your shoes are ill-fitting, it makes the difficult task of walking naturally in heels almost impossible. If your heels are too big, use shoe pads for a better fit. If they are too small, consider having them stretched by a local cobbler, or try this hack to stretch them yourself. –Kat

If your shoes are well-constructed, a proper fit extends the length of time that wearing the heels will be comfortable. Also, it is very embarrassing to have a loose shoe slip off your foot while you are strutting your stuff (yet another been there, done that). –Stana

Wearing Venus.

Femulating in a YouTube advertisement (Alex's Theme).

The Seamy Side of Crossdressing

Is Marlo Thomas laughing at Ted Bessell's crooked seams?

I have to get something off my chest.

A male gets dressed as a female on a television show or in a film. When he is finished, someone comments that his seams are not straight. In response, our hero checks out his gams, notices the unseemly seam and proceeds to adjust his hosiery to fix his fashion faux pas.

I think the first time I saw that scene was on the television show That Girl. On that show, Marlo Thomas's hapless boyfriend, played by Ted Bessell, had to dress as a woman for some reason and Marlo's father, played by Lew Parker, noted Ted's crooked seam(s).

Since that time, I've seen this scene repeated numerous times and each time I see it, it bothers me.

Why?

Because there are NO SEAMS!!!!!

I admit that you can still find, buy, and wear seamed hosiery (I know it, I've done it), but in every instance in a film or television show where the seam scene plays out, the crossdresser is not wearing seamed hosiery.

After I saw this scene a few times, I thought I was missing something and started looking for seams in my seamless hosiery! When I could not find any seams, I realized that the seam joke was just a carryover from the days when women and crossdressers wore seamed hosiery; I assume the writer(s) think that the joke is so funny that they continue to use the crooked seam joke despite the lack thereof.

Seamless hosiery began replacing seamed hosiery about the same time I started crossdressing. I distinctly remember that the first few pairs of stockings that I borrowed from my mother had seams, then suddenly, she started buying seamless stockings, and not much later than that, she switched to pantyhose that were also seamless.

By the way, this tirade was set off by a photo on flickr that I viewed earlier today in which a crossdresser is straightening his seams (according to the photo caption), yet he is wearing seamless hosiery.

I'm glad I finally got that off my chest. Now I feel better!

Wearing Alexis Kirsten.

Steve Schepis on stage in La Cage Aux Folles.

My Store is Open!

In my last post, I mentioned that some readers asked how they can support the blog monetarily. One way is via Amazon. You buy something you want or need and the blog gets something, too.

Some of my blog posts have links to Amazon. If you click on one of those links that takes you to Amazon and you make a purchase, the blog receives a percentage of your payment.

I have also opened Stana’s Femulate Boutique, an Amazon aStore, where you can purchase items on Amazon that I use and recommend. I started populating my boutique with items to buy this weekend and I will be adding new items everyday.

If there is anything you want and don’t see in my boutique, let me know and I will add the item(s) as soon as possible.

Thank you for supporting the blog.

Wearing Etienne Aigner.

Marek Kaliszuk femulates Li'l Kim, Katarzyna Skrzynecka impersonates Christina Aguilera and Stefano Terrazzino femulates Pink on the Polish version of television's Your Face Sounds Familiar.