Happy Returns

The rare suit that looks OK on me.

On Tuesday, I was in boy mode when I returned the suit I bought on Monday. I was greeted by one of the Dress Barn sales associates I have known for years.

After an exchange of long-time-no-sees, she asks if I have something for her referring to the bagged suit I am carrying.

There is a woman customer paying up at the cash register about ten feet to my left. In the past, I would have began talking in hushed tones so that the civilian would not know what was up, but I don't care anymore what others think and the sales associate's friendly, positive manner put me in a positive mood, so I did not tone it down one decibel.

"I don't look good in suits and I am returning the one I bought yesterday."

"So why would you buy a suit if you don't look good in them," the sales associate chided me jokingly.

"I was caught up in the moment. I also bought that white cable sweater dress you have for sale. It looked gorgeous on me. So I was on a roll and decided to try my luck on a suit, too."

"That happens," the sales associate replied.

I could not help noticing that the civilian was listening intently!

And so it goes.

Wearing Stylewe.

Jin Xing, television hostess

More Women at Work

Two Femulate readers went to work as women on Halloween, Alison and Patty O. Their stories follow and their photos are below in the Femulator slot.

Alison

I decided to partake in what I affectionately call, "Take Your Authentic Gender To Work Day." I dressed en femme as Alison. I wore a long skirt from Dress Barn, along with a two-layer top by Studio 1940. My shoes were simple black flats, along with knee socks. And since it was Halloween, I wore earrings that looked like jack o' lanterns. The accompanying picture was taken by our office manager.

Since I had an issue to take care of at a transmitter site (I'm a broadcast engineer), I initially wore my usual boy "costume" in the morning. But I when I got back to the office before noon, I changed into my "office girl" outfit. In the afternoon, I attended a small Halloween party in the break room. The reactions from my co-workers was all positive and supportive.

After leaving work at the end of the day, I stopped to get gas. Then as previously arranged, picked up my wife at home and we went out for dinner at a local Mexican restaurant.

I can hardly wait until next Halloween to be able to do this again!

Patty O

Like Stana, I love to dress at work on Halloween. After doing it for several years, it’s fun to see how accepting my colleagues are. The women accept me as a part of their conversations, complimenting me on my makeup, and admiring my boots and skirt. Even the guys are more accepting.

Usually for Halloween I dress up in a costume that I might wear as a woman at work, so I’ve dressed in Goth black, and Junior High School Assistant principal skirt suit (now that is scary!), but this year I decided to just dress as I would have as a woman in my job. I spent a few days watching what the other women were wearing and decided that I would dress on the femme side of average. I chose a classic suede skirt and found some boots on sale at DSW, I’m still looking for a perfect tight sweater to show off my curves better and I see a shopping trip in my future.

One of my fashionista friends commented that my look reminded her of her 4th grade teacher. That made me smile since I am a teacher, then she added "...and I thought she dressed sexy." That made me laugh out loud. I find I smile and laugh a lot when I’m dressed.

On my way home I stopped at my local mall to browse the stores. I noticed that I was being checked out by other shoppers and sales associates as well and received warm smiles and hellos. I also swung by my hair salon to show off my look. The stylsts beamed with pleasure when they finally figured out who I was. My usual stylist loved my choice of hair style. The women in the chairs beamed wonderful smiles at me as well.

It was another fun day en femme and it makes me look forward to more in the future.

Wearing Lucky dress and booties.

Alison at work

Patty O at work

Woman at Work: Final Thoughts

I hope you enjoyed my live blog yesterday. The extraordinary high hit count (almost 8,000 pageviews) indicates that many of you checked back to keep up with the progress of my day. I thank you for your loyalty and interest.

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On the way home from work, I stopped by the Meriden Westfield mall. This once vibrant mall has declined like so many other malls and it was depressing to be there.

Since I bought a new dress and suit at Dress Barn during lunch, I really was not looking for more clothes. Rather, I was looking to buy something to address a skin issue I have. So I went to Ulta for a solution, but all they offered was something to hide the  issue rather than correct it.

Next, I looked for help at the makeup counters in Macy's, but I could not find a sales associate to assist me. So I high-heeled it out of there and drove home.

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When I arrived home, I tried on the suit that I bought at Dress Barn. Ever since I walked out of the store with that suit, I had buyer's remorse. Usually, I don't like the way I look in suits and I was not completely sold when I tried the new suit on in Dress Barn. But I was caught up in the moment and bought the suit anyway.

Trying the suit on at home confirmed my doubts and I will return it today for a refund.

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So why do I do go to work presenting as a woman on Halloween?

As I wrote last year, I love doing it, but there is a small ray of hope that someday I will be able to go to work (and go everywhere else) as a woman all the time. My Halloween fling is a test for me and my co-workers for when that wonderful day finally arrives and I think we all passed.

Wearing Eloquii.

Contestants in a North Carolina womanless beauty pageant in 1955.

Live Blog: Woman At Work

I should start live-blogging around 8 AM EDST.

8:10 AM POST

I got ready in record time!

Out the door at 6:50 AM. If I went straight to work, I would be about 20 minutes later than my normal arrival at 7, but I had to stop at the gas station to fill up.

I went to the gas station I normally go to. There were no other customers, so I pulled up to the gas pump I usually use, filled up and walked inside to pay up.

The woman who runs the place recognized my car, so she knew who I was underneath my feminine finery, but she said I looked "spectacular" and that she would date me!

I drove to work and arrived at 7:30. Walked in unnoticed, dropped my computer bag in my cubicle and went to the ladies' room to check my self out.

Then I went to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee. There I encountered two male co-workers. One jokingly called me "honey" and asked if I was going to Walmart during lunch. My retort was that I was going to Dress Barn!

9:15 AM POST

10:00 AM POST

Friend who knows that I am trans stopped by to see if I was presenting as a woman today. He was happy to see my outfit and remarked that everyone expects me to show up on Halloween en femme.
I said, " I would never let them down!"

The fellow who is in the next cubicle walked by my cube on the way to his and then returned to remark that every year when he walks by my cube on Halloween morning, he wonders who is using my cube!

The director of engineering walked by and remarked that I looked good and that I outdo myself every year.

I am wearing dangly earrings today and each time I move my head, I hear them jangle. I love it!

10:40 AM POST

I stopped by the office of the senior vice president's administrator. She is one of the few women in this location (there are 7 counting myself). She loves my outfits and is someone I would feel very comfortable coming out to.

When I stepped into her office, she said she was just coming over to see me because she was dying to know what I was wearing today. I did not disappoint her ― she loved my outfit.

I can't believe how fast the morning is flying by. I am very busy doing work and very busy being a fashionista!

12:45 PM POST

I did go to Dress Barn during lunch. But before I did, I visited their website to see if there was anything to die for. And I found this: a Cable Knit Buckle Sweater Dress.

I fell in love with the dress and drove to the nearby Dress Barn with hopes of scoring the dress. As I walked into the store, I immediately spotted a rack containing that dress, found a size 16 and asked a sales associate to open a dressing room to try it on.

The sales associate was Laura, a woman who has waited on me many times at Dress Barn. Like an old girlfriend, she asked me how I had been and made some small talk as she escorted me to a dressing room.

The dress fit like a glove, so I hung it on the Buy rack.

Laura asked me if there was anything else I'd like to look at and I mentioned that I needed a suit.

She worked with me as I tried on different sizes of skirts and blazers. Eventually, we ended up with a size 16W blazer and a size 14 skirt... both in black and very professional-looking.

A different sales associate rang up my order and with all the coupons and Dress Barn perks I had, I saved over 1/3 off the sales price. While she was ringing me up, she complimented me on my dangly earrings while we chatted about buying more fashions than we can wear.

Then I drove back to work.

1:30 PM POST

It is a quiet afternoon.

A few co-workers stopped by after lunch to check me out. One fellow asked if I brought flats to walk the parking lot (three loops of the lot is a mile). I did bring flats just in case, but my outerwear (a light cape) is inadequate for the weather conditions (50°F with a steady 15 MPH wind), so I told him I would not be walking today.

By the way, approaching hour 7 in heels and my tootsies are fine, although I admit that during 6 of those 7 hours. I have been sitting.

I plan to stop at the mall on the way home. Macy's and Ulta are calling out to me.

2:10 PM POST

Pat asked what shoes I am wearing, so here is a run-down on everything I am wearing: JustFab black sweater dress, Payless nude Janine pointy toe high heels, Berkshire nude thigh high stockings, Avon silver necklace, bracelet and watch, dangly silver clip-on earrings (have no idea where they came from) and unmentionable shapewear undies.

2:50 PM POST

Stana is leaving the building, so this will be my last live blog post. I will catch up with you all later.

Wearing Self Portrait.

Stephen Carr femulates in a 1952 episode of television's Adventures of Superman.

Counting

The Mean Gurls at Hamshire (TX) High School in 2010. 

The Femulate hit counter at the bottom of the right sidebar broke the 12 million mark this past week!

I have had the StatCounter hit counter running on this blog since the first post. I am not sure what goes on behind the scenes at StatCounter, but they claim the blog has had 12,000,000 hits.

On the other hand, Blogger counts "pageviews" and according to their current count, Femulate has had 13,169,090 pageviews.

So, I guess Femulate has had about 12 or 13 million hits/pageviews, give or take a million.

∞ ∞ ∞

Speaking of counting, I counted ten pounds less on the bathroom scale this morning. My goal is to lose ten pounds more and two or four dress sizes.

∞ ∞ ∞

Meanwhile, I counted 32 new files in Starla's collection of womanless high school doings.

Long-time Femulate readers will recall the huge collection of womanless  images that Starla clipped from online high school yearbooks in the past. She sent all her findings to me on a regular basis and I mentioned them here, then posted them on flickr. 

Starla took a break in mid-2015 and I did not hear from her until recently when she began sending me womanless images as she found them. I collected her new findings and have uploaded them to flickr.

You may view the new photos in two ways:

Method 1: Open one of the Yearbooks sets (A through Z) and you will find the newest uploads at the end/bottom of the set. (The oldest uploads appear at the beginning/top of the set.)

Method 2: Open this photostream and you will find the newest uploads at the top of page 1. The uploads get older as the page numbers get higher with the oldest uploads on the last page. 

By the way, the contents of the Yearbook A through Z sets are organized according to school name, for example, the photos from Sacred Heart High School would be in the Yearbooks S set.

∞ ∞ ∞

Don't forget that the Femulate At Work is counting down to Monday when I will attempt a live blog during my day at work as a woman.

I hope that like me, you will enjoy your weekend depilating in preparation for a Halloween femulation!

So Veet on!

Wearing A.L.C.

Nino Manfredi femulates in the 1966 Italian film Adultery Italian Style.

Live Blog Monday

My favorite working girl photo.

Monday is Halloween (as if you didn't know) and I plan to go to work as a woman for the fifth consecutive Halloween (seven Halloweens overall).

Like last year, I will attempt a "live blog." I will compose and post blog entries and photos throughout the day so that you will know how my day at work as a woman progresses.

The gang at work now expects Stana to show up on October 31 and I will not let them down (as if someone had to twist my arm). My feminine appearance does not garner the attention that it did in earlier appearances, but it is the one day at work that I can be me and I will not miss the opportunity.

Wearing Tanya Taylor.

The ten finalists in the 2016 Queen USA transgender beauty pageant.

Shopping Like a Woman

Femulate reader Missy wrote, "Since you seem to me to be so very comfortable with who you are it would be great to read more about you. For instance, how do you maintain your confidence when you shop for clothes, shoes, ... I am always so intimidated I have ended up buying everything but pantyhose online and consequently not always getting what I want."

Shopping en femme is so much better than shopping online.

If an item doesn't fit, you put it back on the rack and try on another size. If an item doesn't look good on you, you put it back on the rack and try on something else. You don't have to deal with the time and expense that returning an online purchase entails.

Shopping en femme also is an affirmation of my feminine gender. Shopping among other women, I blend in and become another woman. Typically, the other women are concentrating on shopping and not on me. They may be aware of my physical presence, but will assume that I am just another girl hunting for a bargain.

While browsing through the racks, I always encounter other women doing the same. They may look up momentarily to see who the other bargain hunter is and when they don't recognize me, they return to the hunt. Sometimes they may offer a friendly smile or a pleasant "hello." Rarely am I the target of daggers aimed at a man in a dress.

My last shopping experience was typical. I spent about an hour in the Misses department of the local JCPenney's perusing the racks and going back and forth to the dressing room to try on my finds. During that hour, I encountered a lot of customers doing the same and I noticed none of the other bargain hunters paying any attention to me.

However, I did not go unnoticed. A few people who were not busy shopping noticed me. A woman, who had finished shopping and waiting to pay for her finds, checked me out while she was in line at the cashier. I also noticed two saleswomen checking me out.

Perhaps they were just checking me out because they were impressed with the way I look. Or maybe they suspected I was en femme and were trying to confirm their suspicions.

Whatever... although some salespeople noticed me, I have never had a salesperson give me a hard time. Their job is to make a sale, so if the customer looks like a duck, then treat the customer like a duck and everything will be ducky.

While on the subject of looking like a duck, while I am shopping en femme, I try to be as womanly as possible. I concentrate on carrying myself like a woman, speaking like a woman, acting like a woman. It is no time to fall back into my guy ways. And after making a concerted effort to pass, it begins to come naturally and I have to concentrate less and less on passing and just enjoy being a woman.

 As I was looking through the racks at JCPenney, a middle-aged woman (probably younger than I) approached me and asked, "Can I ask you a question?"

I had no idea what she was going to ask ("What time is it?" "Where did you buy your shoes?" "Are you a tranny?"). I girded my loins, smiled and agreed to answer her question.

"You're dressed fashionably, so I'd like your opinion about a pair of slacks I was thinking about buying."

Wow! I certainly did not see that coming!

We discussed the merits of the slacks. I did not like what she had picked out and suggested something with a bolder pattern. She admitted that she really did not like what she had picked out and liked my suggestion better.

I pointed out a skirt with a pattern similar to what I had in mind. Her eyes lit up as she said, "I saw slacks with that pattern. Now I just have to find them again! Thank-you for your help."

"Good luck," I said.

Then I took a deep breath.

“Oh, my God!” I screamed to myself, "I am a woman!"

(Caveat Emptor: This post is a repurposing of posts from the past.)

Wearing Intermix.

CoverGirl spokesperson James Charles

Pete Burns, RIP

Pete Burns, 1959–2016

Dylan Peck, male womenswear model

Noah Galvin femulates Beyonce on last night's episode of The Real O'Neals.

TV

UPDATES BELOW!

During the week before Halloween, television celebrates the holiday by running old horror films and showing new situation comedies with Halloween themes. Typically, the sitcoms have their cast donning costumes to attend parties or go trick-or-treating. Occasionally, there will be a male dressed as a female and sometimes the male-to-female costume is noteworthy like Dave Foley’s unforgettable costume on the 1996 Halloween episode of Newsradio (photo above).

I don’t know for sure if any guys will be dressing like gals this week, but there is a good chance that some fellow is going to be a miss on tonight’s episode of The Real O’Neals (ABC, 9:30 EDST).

The teaser ad for tonight’s episode shows the O'Neal at a Halloween party. Suddenly they all look up to watch someone coming down the staircase. The ad only shows the legs of the person coming down the staircase and that person has shaved shapely legs in dark hosiery.

Here is the description of tonight’s episode:

When Halloween arrives, or what Kenny refers to as "the gay Super Bowl," he plans to go to Boystown to watch the festive costume parade. In an effort to prevent Kenny from attending, Eileen agrees to let him throw his own Halloween party at home. Eileen's tolerance is ultimately tested when Kenny recruits Stuart and his gay friends to join the big party, and he makes a BIG costume change.

And the guest star list includes “Martin Lion as J.Lo.”

Please stay tuned!

UPDATE 1: In a Yahoo! interview, Noah Galvin, the actor who plays Kenny on The Real O'Neals, revealed, "In our Halloween episode, I am in full, full drag, which I’m very excited for the world to see. I’m a really pretty girl!"

That's tonight at 9:30 PM EDST on ABC!

UPDATE 2: Don't know if you had a chance to watch The Real O'Neals last night, but it went beyond all my expectations. Kenny's brother dressed as Bonnie Parker of Bonnie and Clyde fame, male party guests dressed as J.Lo and Britney Spears, but Kenny outdid them all with a fantastic femulation of Beyonce. And he does make "a really pretty girl!"

Wearing IRO.

Deonte L. Warren and Steven Douglas Stewart on stage in
Fabulous! The Queen of the New Musical Comedies (2014).

Best Fit

My mother raised my sister and me in the 1950s, while my father worked two jobs to finance our raising. With my male role model out of the picture (or out of focus) most of the time, my mother became my role model and as a result, instead of raising a son and a daughter, she raised two daughters.

The older daughter (me) was her favorite and received more attention; I was babied, pampered and spoiled, whereas my sister often had to fend for herself. As a result, I turned out to be very feminine, whereas my sister was more independent and assertive.

During the 1950s, "there were two distinct shapes, the waif like gamine figure epitomized in movies by Audrey Hepburn and the more womanly hourglass figure represented by Grace Kelly, with tiny waists, padded hips and circle skirts." (Source: Glamourdaze.com)

My mother was in the latter group and I found myself in that group. too! I assume extra estrogen is responsible for my hourglass figure and predisposed me to embrace the feminine environment I found myself in.

I never felt that I was a female trapped in a male body. Instead, I was "me" trapped in the expectations of what being a "male" was all about.

Although I embraced some things considered "male," I also rejected many "male" things, while embracing many "female" things. As a result, friends and enemies consider me to be effeminate.

I never tried to be feminine just as I never tried to be macho, but society branded me "effeminate" nonetheless. I was just being "me," which just happens to be considered “feminine” in the eyes of today's society.

My birth certificate reads "male," as does my driver's license and all of the other official paperwork I collected during my life. That is just a convenience because I have presented as a male most of my life, but the truth is that presenting as a woman is a better fit for "me."

Actually, it is a perfect fit.

Helen wearing Romwe blouse, Ann Taylor skirt, Nordstrom scarf and sunglasses,
Michael Kors bag and watch and Christian Louboutin shoes.

Rafael Torres femulates in the 2009 video Satin Dreams.