Eavesdropping

I work with engineers. Cubicles populated by hardware and software engineers surround my cubicle. Due to their proximity, eavesdropping is unavoidable, but not very interesting because most of the time they talk about work and their current projects.

When their discussions stray from work-related issues, they seem to be an apolitical bunch. There is one fellow who is fascinated by Trump, but most of the crew keep their political views close to the vest and talk about other non-work matters.

But out of the blue Thursday morning, three engineers have a discussion about how the country is divided... yadda, yadda, yadda... Someone brings up the transgender bathroom issue and I am all ears.

One engineer said, "I don't understand what the big deal is about if a transgender woman is dressed like a woman and uses the women's restroom or if a transgender man is dressed like a man and uses the men's restroom. Who cares?"

End of discussion.

Hurray for our team!

Wearing Polo.

Ted Brightwell on stage in La Cage Aux Folles.

Carollyn's Other Times

This is part 2 of "Carollyn's First Time," which I posted here on Monday.

Skipping to October 2004...

My real life as Carollyn started on the 17th of October. My wife and family went to Disneyland while I had to stay at home. For six days, it was feminine bliss. By that time, I settled on my name, my overall look and style.

That week, other than work, I lived as a woman. It was wonderful. I went to movies, dinner, shopping, the casino and did many other "girlish" things. I was never harassed and was always accepted as a woman.

I had been using my wife's short wig, as my second-hand wig was "big hair" and I wanted a change. I visited a nearby salon where I had purchased my first wig. The ladies at the store were so helpful, especially Linda. She took my "big hair" and trimmed it into something more stylish.

I had first gone to the shop in male persona, but the girls insisted I come back dressed when I picked up the new hair. Unfortunately, the day we set for my return, my wife had to cancel her plans, so I would not have an opportunity to dress. I phoned the ladies at the shop and told them of my dilemma and they insisted that I dress there. So I did, and spent four hours with the ladies in my new hair while learning etiquette from one of the ladies who was a former model. I felt I was all set until a few months later.

The following May, I had the luxury of making a trip to I Love It Girl (ILIG) in Fremont, California. ILIG was a TG paradise with tons of clothes, wigs, shoes, etc., and a lovely and helpful owner in JoAnn. I was on a business trip to the San Francisco Bay Area and decided to visit on a non-social night. (ILIG has Wednesday night socials every week).

When I arrived, JoAnn was busy, but greeted me with open arms. I was dressed in a red skirt outfit and matching heels and she gave me so many compliments while she worked with another client. After a short time, she sat me down and chatted about dressing and then without asking my size, pulled out a number of different dresses for me to wear for pictures. For what seemed to be hours, I played dress-up with her help and we took numerous pictures.

Close to midnight, I drove back to my motel dressed, but with a new hair style and a new attitude... and total confidence. I was a woman. I even went to dinner the following evening to a fancy hotel restaurant as Carollyn.

During the next few months in 2005, I met a friend, Linda Holmes, who moved to my area from Maine. We got together numerous times to dress and go out on the town during the day for lunch, shopping and lots of pictures. Linda was about two years into her transition. She was a sweetheart and the co-founder of Mature Women Group.

My salon friend, Linda, recommended I change my hair style to what it is today. She told me that my current style makes me look 10 to 15 years younger.

In November 2005, I received the first "shock" of my life. I had been a member of URNotAlone and VickiRene.net, but my good friend, Lauren Phillips, nominated me for the prestigious Vanity Club. I applied with some hesitation concerned that I would not be accepted, but I received enough votes to become a member.

My second "shock" occurred in March 2006 when KC Tyler selected me to be a member of KC's Top 10. KC's was the first TG site I found on the Internet. I never thought that I would become a friend and a member of her equally prestigious site.

Now, we must jump to Christmas and New Year’s...

I decided to be daring! I had never worn a formal dress except at ILIG, so I paid a visit to my local JC Penney's and "borrowed" a red chiffon formal and a black party dress. My desire was to take pictures and send e-mail Christmas cards to my friends. So, in male persona, I made the purchases and one evening prior to Christmas, I dressed in a long red strapless formal and took my pictures. A few days before New Year’s, I wore a black strapless party dress. Both dresses were so great to wear and I felt so good being dressed "to the nines."

A week after New Year’s, I was back in the Bay Area and another trip to ILIG. I took the black dress with me and JoAnn flipped when she saw the new "complete" product. After a little touchup of my makeup and a few accessories, we took tons of pictures. I stayed for four hours and wore a couple of other dresses JoAnn had selected. Had I had the time, I would have stayed into the night. I drove home dressed and stopped at JC Penney's to return the black dress, as I had no place to wear it again. Sigh!!!

Life as Carollyn has been fabulous. I love dressing as often as possible and enjoying life as a lady. When I dress, I want to create an illusion of a classy, perky and joyful conservative woman. When out, I want to honor women and blend in with others without drawing attention to myself.

I strongly want to help other girls and that was one of the reason the now-deceased Linda and I formed the Mature Women Group ten years ago. I don't consider myself an expert and blush when others consider me an icon in the community. All I want to do is assist other girls and walk hand-in-hand with them on the same, wonderful journey I'm taking.

Wearing Bebe.

Logan Kesler at the 2011 Theatre Under The Stars' Tommy Tune Awards

Transcation

Next week, I will be on a transcation, that is, presenting as a woman while I travel 726 miles to Dayton, Ohio, to attend a ham radio convention. Unlike the girls above, my transcation will be solo, but I expect to see a lot of friends and acquaintances, who I have not seen since last year's convention. So, although I will be solo en femme, I will not be alone.

This will be my seventh transcation to this convention, so you would think it would be "old hat" by now. In many ways, it will be familiar, but this year, there will be one big difference and I am a little nervous about it.

During my six previous Ohio transcations, I was invisible to most people... just an old lady in her Subaru driving too slow in the passing lane. Although I am a well-known writer in the ham radio world, my fellow hams know that writer as a male. As a result, very few people saw my name badge being worn by a female and put two-and-two together.

For example, I will never forget walking up to a friend I had known for over 30 years, saying, "Hi, Tom" with him replying, "Do I know you?" If I could fly as a woman under the radar of friends and acquaintances, I am sure I flew under everybody else's radar, too.

This year, I am receiving an award at the convention. This fact has been publicized in all the ham radio media. The convention's web site displays my feminine visage next to the award announcement. Over 20,000 printed programs will be handed out at the convention containing the same photo and announcement, so all those people who were clueless in the past will now be clued-in.

Whereas in the past, maybe a couple of hundred people were clued-in, this year 20,000 to 25,000 will be in the know and that is a little scary. So wish me well.

Wearing Alexis.

Jack Haley (right) in the 1945 film George White's Scandals.

End of the Tunnel

Can you see the light at the end of the tunnel?

The Philippines is set to elect its first out transgender person to public office in a breakthrough for the predominantly Catholic country's LGBT community.

Geraldine Roman, who has been living as a woman for more than two decades, is set to win the congressional seat in Bataan previously held by her mother, Herminia Roman.

With 97.2 per cent of national election returns processed, Ms Roman had secured a win with 23,814 votes over her opponent's 10,325.

Meanwhile...

What we must not do, what we must never do, is turn on our neighbors, our family members, our fellow Americans for something that they cannot control and deny what makes them human. And this is why none of us can stand by when a state enters the business of legislating identity and insists that a person pretend to be something or someone that they are not. But no matter how isolated, no matter how afraid, and no matter how alone you may feel today, know this, that the Department of Justice and indeed the entire Obama administration want you to know that we see you, we stand with you, and we will do everything we can to protect you going forward. ― Attorney General Loretta E. Lynch's remarks at the May 9 press conference announcing the complaint against the State of North Carolina to stop discrimination against transgender individuals.  

I have high hopes that the ride through the dark tunnel will end soon and transgender people will be freed from those who try to suppress us.

Wearing Avon.

Lori Shannon on a 1975 episode of  television'  All in the Family.

Tuesday's Two Lines or Less

Tired of all the bad news lately, here is some good news about a transgender teen in Indiana who was named runner-up prom queen. (Thank you, Tammy for the link.)

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Saturday's post "Saturday Night Lives" was my attempt at fiction. Some folks thought it was a true story, although I labeled the post as "fiction."

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Thanks to Reva, here is a follow-up story about last Wednesday's Femulator, Trevor Ladner. It seems that Trevor is a drag artist and her "femulating skills" won her a scholarship to Tulane and helped educate people about gender roles!

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Femulate contributor Monica P. Mulholland has written a Kindle book, ME!: The gift of being Transgender. All proceeds go to the LGBT suicide line, Lifeline NZ.

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In preparation for next week's trip to Hamvention in Dayton, I stopped at CVS to buy a bottle of Veet and three packages of Kiss stick-on nails. CVS has a sale on their nails this week: buy two sets and get the third set free.

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While on the subject of travel, Travel + Leisure has a timely article "Tips for Transgender Travelers— From the Country’s Most Trans-Friendly Destination."

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Here is an oldie, but a goodie: Antartic explorer Robert Falcon Scott had a brother name Malcolm, who was a famous professional femulator back in Victorian England. Here is the story, thanks to Catherine.

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I just realized that it will be winter when the Summer Olympics are held in Rio de Janeiro!

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Finally, a big thank you to Linda, for all she has done for me recently!

Wearing Ronny Kobo top and skirt and Mercedes Salazar earrings.

Danny La Rue in the 1971 British film Our Miss Fred.

Carollyn's First Time

My life as Carollyn Olson has been quite a satisfying ride.

Over the last three decades, Carollyn has figuratively flourished and matured, and developed so many great friends. I would not change a thing.

My story is a little different than many of yours. I did not start dressing until 35 years ago and it was very accidental. To make a long story short, I can blame it on the cat.

I was home working on my spouse’s dresser when she was out of town. Our cat decided to jump into a drawer and damaged two pair of nylons. I was going to show them to my spouse and let her throw them away, but for some reason I put them on. Before I knew it, I was dressed in her clothes, wig and shoes. Oh, what a feeling!

By the next weekend, when she was once again away from home, I had bought heels, two dresses, pantyhose, and had studied how my spouse applied her makeup. I completely dressed and went out for the first time. The first time I really looked in the mirror, I could not believe how good I looked.

Where did I go? I drove to the local mall, walked around a bit, went in to a couple of shops, had a bite to eat and sat on a bench to watch other women walk through the mall so I could study their mannerisms and how they walked and talked. Was I nervous? Yes, a bit, but not overly. I was “passing” and enjoying myself. When I look back at that first time today, I still wonder how I did it.

Since then, I try to dress two or three times a month. However, I have had to be careful with my dressing (my wife is unware of my hobby even though she has dressed me twice for Halloween parties).

I invite all Femulate readers to share their first crossdressing experience. Try to recall that moment the first time you tried on a woman’s garment and began the process of unveiling and exploring your feminine self. To entice you to share your first time story, I will give away a free copy of my e-book Fantasia Fair Diaries to all whose stories I use in Femulate.

Wearing Polo.

Harvey Korman (center) on television's The Carol Burnett Show (circa 1972).

Both Mother and Father

A single Dad celebrates Mother's Day.

Wearing Madeleine.

Diego Ramos and Nico Scarpino on the Buenos Aires stage in Casa Valentina (2016).

Saturday Night Lives

Third Saturday of the month, we dine with our friends, Bill and Rosemary Lucas. We take turns, one month at their house and one month at our house.

Last month at our house, Rosemary and my wife Karen discussed how men can be self-involved. As an example, Rosemary went on and on about how Bill spent a lot of time and money on photography.

Not to be outdone, Karen mentioned how I spent a lot of time and money crossdressing.

I turned beet red with embarrassment. My crossdressing was a family secret. I was incredulous that Karen would let the cat out of the bag, but in the heat of the moment, she wanted to up Rosemary's complaints about Bill.

"Who would have thought that about Stanley," commented Rosemary.

"I'm shocked," said Bill.

"Yes, 'Stan the Man' likes to become 'Pearl the Girl' about once a week," added Karen.

"I'd like to meet her," Bill said with a Cheshire Cat grin.

With a twinkle in her eye, Rosemary suggested, "Maybe Pearl can dine with us next month."

"I think that can be arranged," Karen replied.

"I can't wait!" Rosemary exclaimed. The subject was dropped for other topics that I cannot recall because my head was spinning about what just happened.

On the way home, Karen apologized for telling Bill and Rosemary about Pearl.

"I accept your apology, but why did you go along with Rosie's idea about Pearl showing up for dinner next month?"

"At first, I thought it would be too embarrassing for you, but Rosie and Bill were so enthusiastic that I thought, why not. Pearl is a beautiful woman and she deserves to go out and be seen."

"I'll think about it," was where I left it.

The month passed and I thought it was a dead issue.

Over breakfast on the morning of our next dinner with the Bill and Rosemary, Karen asked, "What is Pearl wearing tonight?"

I didn't see that coming.

"Stan was planning to go to dinner without Pearl tonight," I replied.

"Rosie and Bill were expecting to see Pearl. In fact, I was expecting to see Pearl, too."

"But..."

"You are going to disappoint everyone. Why don't you stop being so self-centered and think about others for a change."

Karen was angry... very angry and I felt guilty and started reconsidering. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Bill and Rosie already know and it might be fun to get out of the house en femme, as the "girls" say.

I finally relented, "I guess Pearl can make an appearance tonight."

Karen's anger turned to elation, "Great! I'm so happy that she changed her mind."

I completed my Saturday chores by mid-afternoon and began transforming myself into Pearl.

I disrobed and applied hair removal cream on my legs, arms, breasts and as far as I could reach on my back. While waiting for the cream to do its job, I applied a shaving gel to my face, neck and armpits, put a fresh blade in my razor and got in the shower.

As the water washed the depilated hair from my body. I shaved. Then I cleansed my whole body, rinsed and stepped out of the shower.

After drying myself, I rubbed moisturizer into my soft skin, then I slipped on a pair of black lace panties (the only kind I will wear) and sat at the vanity to do my makeup.

I used some concealer to hide the faint shadow of my beard, then applied foundation and powder. I did my eyes next. The eyeliner makes them stand out and a deft application of mascara and eyeshadow make them look smoky and mysterious. Some blush and muted lipstick followed.

Pearl is a blond and has a variety of hair styles at her disposal, so I had to decide which coiffure she would wear. I selected a short wispy layered cut with flipped ends and dark roots that add authenticity to the wig. I slipped the wig onto my head, straightened it and finger-styled it.

I removed my undies from the bureau and pulled on a high waist panty girdle, while tucking Willy and his friends out of sight. Next came the matching long line bra and silicone breast forms that went into its cups.

Sitting on the bed, I put my pink-polished toes into a pair of suntan control-top sandalfoot pantyhose and worked the sheer nylon up my legs and over my girdle.

I slipped a black sheath dress over my head being careful not to smudge my makeup on the fabric.

Then I asked my spouse, "Karen, would you please zip up my dress?"

"Yes, honey," she answered. She stopped combing her hair to assist with my zipper.

"There you go," she said when she finished zipping me up and closing the clasp just above the zipper.

"Thank-you, sweetheart."

I completed my look with some tasteful jewelry: a silver watch on my slender wrist, silver heart clip-on earrings and my wedding band and engagement ring. Finally, I added a set of stick-on nails to my fingers.

I straightened out my dress and smoothed the hem, which fell about three inches above my knees,then slipped on a pair of 4-inch black patent pumps. A spritz of perfume on my wrists and on the nape of my neck, and I stand back to admire the finished product in our full-length mirror. Stan has left the building and Pearl was in his place!

I announced, "I'm ready," using a feminized version of my voice.

"You certainly are, Miss Pearl! I'm almost ready, too. Can you return the favor?"

Karen had just slipped on her green belted sweater dress and was waiting for me to zip her up.

"Sure thing," I said and I zipped up her dress.

"Check me out, honey, to make sure I look okay," she asked.

She spun around with her arms posed akimbo so that I could see any flaws in her ensemble.

"You look perfect," I said, "I am so lucky to be married to a drop, dead gorgeous woman." Then I spun around with my arms posed akimbo so that she could see any flaws in my ensemble.

"Perfect... I am lucky to be married to a drop, dead gorgeous woman, too," she replied.

We air-kissed each other so as not to smudge our makeup, grabbed our purses and walked to the garage.

Although it was only a half-mile ride to the Lucas home, Karen drove because I had never driven wearing high heels. Karen parked the car on the street and we walked hand-in-hand to the front door.

Karen rang the bell and we soon heard the clicking of high heels approach the door from the inside. The door was opened by a beautiful woman, who I didn't recognize.

Karen said, "Hi, Bill. You look lovely."

"Thank-you, but Bill's not here. Please call me 'Pamela.' May I assume your beautiful girlfriend is Pearl?"

"You assumed correctly, Pamela."

I was speechless. Pamela nee Bill looked fantastic. He was wearing a white jacquard mini-dress, off white metallic pantyhose, and silver strappy 4-inch sandals. His shoulder-length chestnut hair was up and his makeup was perfect.

"You look fabulous," I gushed.

"You, too, girlfriend. Let's take some photos!"

Wearing Caroline Constas.

Jerzy Grzechnik on Polish television's Twoja Twarz Brzmi Znajomo (2016).

A New American

Create, Adobe's online magazine, has an interesting article, The New Americans: A Photographic Exploration.

Inspired in part by legendary photographer Robert Frank, whose 1958 book The Americans presented portraits of everyday Americans and changed the way we saw our country, photographers Elle Wildhagen and Zachary Domes set out on a six-week road trip. Their goal was to present today’s Americans as they saw them: inspiring, hopeful, and “full of so much good.”

One of the new Americans they encountered was Jacob, who...

...made a strong impression on the pair: “It wasn’t just about Jacob and him expressing himself,” says Elle. “It was really about allowing anyone, however they want to express themselves, to feel comfortable and confident.”

Click on Jacob's photo in the article to view a video about Jacob. (You won't be disappointed.)

Wearing Rockins scarf, Equipment blouse and Theory skirt.

Tim Elliot on stage in Compleat Female Stage Beauty (2011)

Beth's First Time

I am guessing that my first dressing experience occurred early in my elementary school years, possibly first or second grade. I don’t think it was during my time in kindergarten, although it may have been.

Both of my parents worked, so I would get dropped off at my grandma’s house during school breaks including the summer vacation.

My grandma’s house was built in the '30s, and it was essentially a four square plan ― very traditional and classic. She lived in a traditional small lot neighborhood with a small front yard, slightly larger back yard. All the houses were lined up next to each other. Everyone had a front porch and a single car garage at the back of their property

.

There was a back bedroom, which I believe that grandma used as hers. In the bedroom there was a dresser filled with all sorts of slips and petticoats. All of them were white. Many of them were full-length slips. And this is what she wore on a daily basis under her dresses. This was circa 1962 lingerie; you get the idea of the type and quality it was.

To this day, I do not know if she encouraged me to try on her slips or if I did this of my own volition. However, my first clear memory of dressing is wearing one of her white full length slips. I still remember how strange and wonderful it felt. I remember her being pleased with how I looked. And I remember being disappointed that she would not let me go outside with the slip on to play with the other neighborhood kids.

Either during this first time I had her slip on or subsequent times, I distinctly remember being aroused. I will always wonder if my first arousal was due to wearing her lingerie. All I know is that this was the first time that I remember being aroused.

I really don’t know if my grandma allowed or encouraged me to dress on a regular basis. As I said, I was at her house all day for summer vacations. My guess is that my slip wearing at her house was infrequent.

I firmly believe that my path was established as a result of these positive and reinforcing dressing interactions with my grandma. I have a couple of full-length white slips and everytime I see them in my lingerie drawer, I have very warm feelings.

I invite all Femulate readers to share their first crossdressing experience. Try to recall that moment the first time you tried on a woman’s garment and began the process of unveiling and exploring your feminine self. To entice you to share your first time story, I will give away a free copy of my e-book Fantasia Fair Diaries to all whose stories I use in Femulate.

Wearing Ronny Kobo.

Winner of the Hancock (Mississippi) High School's 2016 womanless
beauty pageant Trevor Ladner, poses with brother, Trenton.