Transgender Tweets: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

Wearing Black Halo.

Peter Butterworth in the 1966 British film Carry On Screaming.

Talking with the "Other Half"

By Michelle Bowles

I was interested in reading your heads-up on the Alan Cumming's out en femme feature from Marie Claire. I hope the article can be tracked down and reproduced via the Femulate website.

On following the link to the photos and the accompanying comments, I recognized some experiences I have when out en femme.

Firstly, the supportive way that women openly talk to other women they don't know. Cumming noticed this in changing rooms – where I've also received women's complimentary comments. These can be rather disconcerting at first because at that point, I want to be "invisible" and not draw attention to myself.

If someone says something in a men's changing room (I'm not sure that's ever happened, by the way), it is likely to be because you have dropped something or committed some other mistake. In other words, you have drawn attention to yourself. Men, as far as I know, would never compliment you on the clothes you are trying; if they did, many would automatically assume they were gay and trying to "pick you up."

So when someone talks to me in a ladies' changing room, I immediately expect I have done something wrong and I'm on the defensive. Half expecting "you're in the wrong changing room – I'm calling a member of staff" with the ensuing embarrassment and discussions with the store detective. But no, it's always been "that looks nice" or some other compliment – the trick then for me is for me to regather my composure and respond (hopefully, with a smile).

It's a wonderful feeling and I feel so good when I return to the cubicle. It is also a great compliment; because either she's read you, but is comfortable with how you look and is keen to make you feel comfortable, too, which is a nice thing to do. Or she hasn't, which is even better. Incidentally, the last woman who said the dress I was trying really suited me, didn't persuade me to buy it – a decision I've ever since regretted as I can't now find it on the Marks and Spencer website. Hmmph!

En femme I've been regularly approached by women (and occasionally men) for directions – something that rarely happens when I'm in male mode. I guess woman are not going to think you're an idiot for not knowing your way (why can't men ask for directions, etc.). Also for women, you are not a threat.

I regularly go to a pub where there is music and dancing. More often than not, women talk to and want to dance with me (one up on my male self!). Even nicer is when they talk to you in order to "take the mickey" out of their boyfriend (or perhaps someone who's trying to chat them up). It's "girls together against the boys" – absolutely lovely. Also I've been asked when going to the ladies' at the same pub if another's makeup looks okay or could I do up a button.

The picture I've provided of myself is another nice bonus of going out en femme. Here I am out with my friend Irene at a pub for lunch. I was really happy, probably because the waitress had just said, "What can I get for you, ladies?"

I'm still rather wary of people talking to me and I need to work on a quick and friendly response, but I'm getting better. And I get such a nice feeling from being accepted by others as a woman which is surely the best part about the whole femulation thing.

Wearing Veronica Beard jacket, Alexander Wang dress and Jimmy Choo shoes.

Womanless fashion show model

Alan's Day Out

I don't know how this one slipped under my radar, but Lynn gave me a heads-up about a femulation article that appeared in the August 2001 issue of Marie Claire. In that article, actor Alan Cumming, who has a history of femulating in various roles on television and stage, femulated among civilians for a day to see how it felt to do a series of every day things as a woman as compared to doing the same things as a man.

Been there, done that, if you know what I mean. I found it interesting, but not surprising that Alan's experience as a woman in public were similar to mine.

Lynn sent me a link to seven photos from the article [file names Marie Claire 6/01 (1) to (7)], but not the text of the article. I searched high and low for the text, but could not find it. If anyone has it or knows where it is, I'd love to see it and share it.

And may all your days out be wonderful!

Wearing English Factory (top), Preen By Thorton Bregazzi
(skirt and sunglasses) and Bionda Castana (shoes).

Alan Cumming in British television's The Runaway (2011).

Two Down, Two to Go

Trying to drop a couple of pounds that I gained this winter so that I can look more gorgeous this spring. LOL

I know how to lose the weight. Breads and sweets are my downfall. Cut them out of my diet and I start losing weight ― I just have to gather up the will-power to cut them out.

Usually an upcoming event will motivate me to do it. Attending the True Colors Conference this Friday is my motivation du jour and I already dropped 2 pounds since Sunday. I just need to drop 2 more pounds by Friday and I will have shed my winter weight.

Beyond that, I'd like to lose a few more pounds. I am about 13 pounds over my all-time low weight as an adult, which I achieved one summer working in a sweat shop during my summer break from college. 

Talk about gorgeous ― I was almost waif-like at the end of that summer. I doubt if I can get that low again, but it's worth a try. The big negative is that all my clothes will be too big and I will have to buy some new dresses that do fit (sigh).

And so it goes.

Wearing JustFab.

What a difference a close shave can make!

Down and Up

Internet was down this morning. I got our IT guy on the case and he discovered that there was an outage at our Internet provider. He is working on a temporary workaround.

So no email, no website access and no blogging! (I am writing this while the Internet is down with high hopes that it will be back up real soon now.)

After I spent the better part of Sunday doing income taxes, I crashed in front of the television for an hour or two before going to bed. No, I did not watch Cait, but I thought I saw her or a reasonable facsimile of her on a commercial for Andrew Dice Clay's new cable tv show Dice.

A brief scene in the commercial has Dice sitting in a office while a business woman berates him and threatens to pull out her large penis and put it on her desk to embarrass Dice with its size!

At first, I thought the actress playing the business woman was either Caitlyn Jenner or Lorraine Bracco of The Sopranos fame. I looked up the show on IMDB and neither was listed as a cast member and I could not determine from the cast list who was playing the business woman.

The Internet is now working and a little Googling revealed that Lorraine Bracco will indeed appear in two episodes of Dice. Lorraine does resemble Caitlyn Jenner (or vice versa), but her voice is distinctly her own and it was her voice that made me think it was her.

That's a Bingo!

Wearing JustFab.

Stanley Baxter

Accessorizing

On Thursday, Susan of Transitioning into Tomorrow fame published a poster on her blog that suggests how to accessorize depending on the neckline of the dress or top you are wearing. I thought that the poster was very useful, so I copied and pasted it into my archive of fashion files for future reference.

That archive contains a lot of information that I find halpful as I present as a woman. For example, whenever I buy new clothing, I visit the website of the store where I bought the new item and grab images of the item I purchased.

That is a simple matter if I purchased the item online, however, if I purchased the item off the rack at a brick and mortar store, it might take a little searching to find an image on the website of the store or designer. (Often, searching on the item's SKU is a simple way to locate an image.)

I use these images to help me accessorize the item when I wear it. What kind of jewelry goes with the dress I just bought at ModCloth? What color shoes go with that dress? Should I wear nude or color stockings or tights?

I am not religious about it and I often accessorize with a scarf, which is an accessory that seldom if ever appears in these images. However, the source of these images are pros, who know what looks best with the item they are trying to sell than, so I often follow their suggestions.

By the way, I also save images of any wigs that I purchase to remind me what my new do is supposed to look like on my head. And I do not save images of undies that I purchase ― I do not compare favorably with lingerie models!

Wearing Tory Burch.

Dave Castiblanco

Natural Brained Woman

I have written about the "nature or nurture question" here before, that is, whether we are born transgender (the nature argument) or our upbringing and environment causes us to be transgender (the nurture argument).

I am not a doctor, although I play a nurse on occasion, so I have no professional credentials to support my opinion. But I subscribe to the nature argument because that's how I see my life playing out so far.

From the get-go, I was a feminine being. The fact that I had a male body did not dissuade me from being feminine, often to my detriment. Male peers derided and bullied me, while I socialized better with females ― not because they considered me dating material, but because I was just like one of the girls.

With regards to the Wachowski sisters news, an interesting article popped up on the Internet, "There May Be a Biological Reason the Wachowski Siblings Are Both Transgendered," that supports the nature argument. One point that the article mentions is that the brains of transwomen resemble the brains of cisgender women, while the brains of transmen resemble the brains of cisgender men.

My mother was my role model, so that seems to support the nurture argument, However, was my mother my role model because my father was an absentee parent or because it was normal for a feminine soul to follow in the footsteps of her female parent? (A side note: My sister was viewing some photos she took a few days ago and remarked how very much I resembled my mother in the photos. I was in boy mode in the photos.)

We'll probably never know for sure what made us trans. Perhaps it is a combination of nature and nurture.

Wearing Boston Proper.

Ioane Arabuli as Mariah Carey on Italian television's Tale e Quale Show.

Do I confuse you?

True Colors Conference, 2009

I apologize for the confusion.

In Wednesday's post, I wrote, "today is my birthday." Problem is that I wrote that post on Tuesday (my birthday), but published it early Wednesday.

Unless I get distracted by something more important, I usually write blog posts one day before they are published, which is typically just after midnight local time.

You may ask, "What can be more important than writing a blog post?"

I don't know, but stuff happens. Or sometimes stuff doesn't happen and I don't know what to write about. Or sometimes the stuff that happens goes by the name of  "writer's block."

How about the news that Lana Wachowski's sister (former brother) Lilly came out as transgender, too!

It still is winter, isn't it? You'd never know it as records are being broken in this neck of the woods with the temperature climbing past the 81F/27C degree mark.

This is not normal. I recall last year, it snowed the night before the True Colors Conference. But in light of this winter's weather, snow is not much of a concern as the True Colors Conference approaches (on March 18-19).

I am looking forward to the conference where I will be presenting "Makeup Basics for Trans Females," which is described thusly, "Putting on your face can be a cosmetic calamity if you don't have a roadmap. This workshop provides guidance and tips for the transgender female on how to successfully navigate the world of cosmetics so that she can start looking like the female she really is."

In addition to presenting, I will help staff the booth that the local transgenders will have at the conference. So, it will be a full day as a woman.

Wearing Jessica London.

 

Adolf Dymsza in the 1937 Polish film Niedorajda.

Introvertively Yours

Believe it or not, I am an introvert. Talk about double whammies ― a closeted transwoman, who is also an introvert.

It's no wonder that it took the better part of my life to get out of the closet and the better part of my time outside the closet trying to make the great leap to living full-time as the woman I truly am.

I mention this because today is my birthday (this was written yesterday) and I want to begin celebrating, so I am going to keep this short and redirect you to a spot-on article that I read earlier today, "22 Things Only Introverts Understand." If you are an introvert like me, you will shake your head yes as you read the 22 things. If  you are not an introvert, maybe the article will provide some insight into what we introverts are all about.

Meanwhile, on the latest episode of the soap opera I call Life, my manager du jour informed me that next week, I will begin reporting to a fellow located in our California facility.

And so it goes.

Wearing Louisa Spagnoli.

Alexander Bekker

Accelerate Gender Parity

March 8 is International Women's Day.

Celebrate the social, economic, cultural and political achievement of women. Yet let's also be aware progress has slowed in many places across the world, so urgent action is needed to accelerate gender parity. Leaders across the world are pledging to take action as champions of gender parity.

Globally, with individuals pledging to move from talk to purposeful action - and with men and women joining forces - we can collectively help women advance equal to their numbers and realize the limitless potential they offer economies the world over. We have urgent work to do. Are you ready to accelerate gender parity?

Click here to Make A Pledge Now!

Wearing Komarov.

Zackary Drucker at the 2016 Amazon Studios Golden Globe Awards Party.