in the Dress

Actor Billy Kennedy portraying The Boy in the Dress
in a BBC made-for-television movie.

The Boy in the Dress

The Boy in the Dress is a children's book written by David Walliams, a British comedian best known around here for his femulations on television's Little Britain. Published in 2008, The Boy in the Dress presents the story of a crossdressing youth in a very positive light.

I was aware of the book, but did not pay much attention to it until recently, when I came across Internet images of young boys and their teachers going to school en femme to celebrate World Book Day. On that day, students and teachers attend school dressed as characters from a book.

Evidently, Dennis, the boy in The Boy in the Dress, was a very popular costume choice this past World Book Day, at least in the UK. I did not notice any Dennis costumes in the USA, but they might have slipped under my radar.

The Gurl in the Dress

I post images on Pinterest and I just created a Pinterest board titled "Stana Does Halloween." The board contains photos of all my Halloween femulations going back to 1976! Some of the photos have never been published anywhere before, so they are quite collectible, i.e., they have been collecting a lot of dust.

Enjoy!

Wearing Brahmin.

She wears the pants in this relationship.

Hair – Get Real!

By Amy

Looking back at my high school years, like most, I had long hair. It had a single stubborn wave from front to back, with a little curl in the nape area. It was very thick and healthy, but it did pretty much what it wanted to do!

After college, it went very short and corporate. Short was easy and surviving in business was more of a priority than maintaining any vanity. Besides, as I learned about good quality wigs, the transition was an easy one. Now I am quite a bit older and can do pretty much what I want with my hair. So my first visit to a salon explaining that I wanted to grow it into a feminine cut went much better than expected. Who knew? My stylist even suggested some extensions to get me where I wanted to go. I did try them, although that will be another story.

I expected my old wave to return, with the curls in back – and they did; maybe worse than I remembered them. So my stylist recommended I try a keratin straightener. This was totally new to me, but I was all in. I really had no idea how things would turn out but I started with these treatments with every trim about every two months as my hair grew. This gave me a manageable way to grow my hair out and allowed me to comb it boy-style to boot without the work of fighting my wave. What was truly amazing was the new texture of my hair. It became as soft and smooth as any young woman’s – really!

When the length was long enough for a cute pixie, a bit of gray (which few women would stand for), was showing and obvious. Of course my stylist pleaded with me over a few visits to color it and do highlights. This really scared me. I had seen men color their hair, and I always noticed the flat brown look. I sensed I would be no different, but I gave her the go ahead.

The result was awesome! I have now been coloring it with highlights for nearly two years, with no negative comments. The combination of keratin and color makes for wonderful feeling hair that styles beautifully! My hair now moves and shines. Although it is long, I can still comb it for a longish boy mode, but mostly it just looks great. I walked into a new salon last week for a quick blow out and style before meeting a friend, and I was dressed androgynously; jeans and button shirt. The girl who styled me said the minute I walked in she liked my hair and thought I must be transitioning. We had a great talk!

I will let your stylist explain all the details and procedure of straightening and color. But you can look forward to a real game-changer in how your hair looks, feels and how it can be styled. Give this a try!

Wearing Jason Wu (skirt), Narciso Rodriguez (jacket), Rag & Bone (top) and Maiyet (shoes).

Timur Rodriguez femulating on Russian television's Your Face Sounds Familiar in 2013.

Girls on YouTube

Sunday some friends and relatives stopped by for dinner (deep fried turkey with all the fixings) and to watch the NFL playoff games.

After the company left and we cleaned up, I collapsed on the couch and surfed the channels looking for something entertaining and/or trans-related. I ended up watching Boat Trip figuring it had some femulating potential. There was some drag in the film, but nothing to write home about.

With my laptop lap, I began surfing the Internet looking for any womanless pageants and male-to-female transformations that I have not seen.

There was one pageant and one transformation that were worth noting (this pageant and this transformation), but the highlight of my late night surfing was this video of a tween-aged boy being transformed into a tween-aged girl at the hands of his sister. The boy's enthusiasm is addictive and his reaction to his transformation is priceless.

I don't have a clue if he is trans. He has a couple of other transformation videos online and at the conclusion of this one, he thinks he looks pretty and "wants to stay like this."

So, you go, girl!

Wearing Dion Lee (dress), Alice & Olivia (coat) and Rachel Zoe (shoes).

Boys will be girls, girls will be boys.

A Big Deal?

Vesna Prague

How Lovely To Be A Femulator

When you're a skinny child of fourteen,
Wide with braces from ear to ear,
You doubt that you will ever be appealing.
Then Hallelujah! You are fifteen
And the braces disappear
And your skin is smooth and clear
And you have that happy grown-up female feeling.
How lovely to be a woman,
The wait was well worth while;
How lovely to wear mascara
And smile a woman's smile.
How lovely to have a figure,
That's round instead of flat;
Whenever you hear boys whistle,
You're what they're whistling at.
It's wonderful to feel
The way a woman feels;
It gives you such a glow just to know
You're wearing lipstick and heels!
How lovely to be a woman
And have one job to do;
To pick out a boy and train him
And then when you are through,
You've made him the man you want him to be!
Life's lovely when you're a woman like me!
How wonderful to know
The things a woman knows;
How marvelous to wait for a date
In simply beautiful clothes!
How lovely to be a woman
And change from boys to men,
To go to a fancy nightclub
And stay out after ten.
How lovely to be so grown-up and free!
Life's lovely when you're a woman like me!

(From the musical Bye, Bye Birdie, lyrics by Lee Adams, music by Charles Strouse)

Wearing Marchesa Notte.

Claire Jones & Lisa Johanna

Being Recognized

By Paula Gaikowski

Regular Femulate contributor, Paula G, proffers her first article of the year on a topic that is near and dear to all of us gurls.

Want to start an uproar on a transgender support site? Just mention the phrase “pass as a woman.” Some forum moderators will not even allow the topic! I personally never had an issue with the term, but realize that it can be and is hurtful to many of my sisters. There is also a lot of politics tied up in the term, for those reasons, I try not to use it.

However, the term constantly comes up, and is used in spite of all the criticism. Heck, younger transgender people use it without controversy. There is even a transpassing sub-reditt that asks for passing advice. I’ve reflected on this idea during my journey and wondered, what is it that I am striving for?

Just thinking about all the effort and time we put into our presentation. It starts with shopping for the right clothes, finding hip pads and forms that work. Then there is shaving and more shaving, along with laser or electrolysis. Then skin care, finding the right cosmetics, learning how to use them with hours of practice. Then our hair, searching for and learning how to style the wig that’s right for us. Lest we not forget the accessories, the perfect purse, jewelry, scarves and belts. Oh wait shoes! That’s a book in itself.

Then the night before, it all gets laid out for the morning. That’s when the magic happens and the Phoenix rises from the ashes. Out the door we go expecting what? Exactly what is it in our psyche, in our hierarchy of needs that we are trying to satisfy?

I am sure that I would get diverse answers from many of you and I would never be so presumptuous to think I have the singular and definitive raison d'être.

However, I believe I can identify a theme that is common for many of us. Something that runs deep in the DNA of transgender women and I’ll go one step further and venture to say it is, in fact, the same for every woman.

But first let me share with you how I came to this conclusion. I was watching a historical documentary that covered the life of Marie Curie. It was this particular phrase that was an epiphany. “Universally recognized as a woman who changed modern science.”

The words that echoed in my mind were “recognized as a woman.” She, in this instance, was being recognized as a woman who did something significant. Let’s take a look at the definition of recognize.

Recognize: acknowledge the existence, validity, or legality of, accept, admit, realize, be aware of, be conscious of, perceive, discern, appreciate Synonym: officially approve, certify, accredit, endorse, sanction, validate 

I won’t go over this whole list of words, girlfriends, however, they all speak legions! When I walk into a store or office, your damn right I want to be “acknowledged” as a woman.

To hear the words “Thank you, Ma’am” ― isn’t that the “validation” we seek? How about being accepted, endorsed, or perceived as a woman?

This is exactly what I’m seeking when my heels tap the floor as I walk thru a hotel lobby. I want people to recognize that a woman is walking by. I want them to see a woman, to recognize me for what I am deep down inside: a woman.

Yes, Ma’am, that’s it!

Wearing Alexia Admor.

Rachel Sams

My Secrets

Paula wrote, "Love your style; please share your secrets with us!"

I had to think about my "secrets" because most of what I do style-wise comes naturally to me. I don't think about it, I just do it. And this is what I do.

Emphasize your assets.

My legs are my best assets, so I show them off by wearing short skirts and high heels. Heels make my legs even more shapely and short skirts reveal the results.

And there is some truth when I say, "My skirt's not too short – my legs are too long! " I have resigned myself to the fact that the styles I prefer are going to be on the short side due to my leg length.

Dress for your body's age, not your calendar age.

My arms are svelte enough for sleeveless sheaths and my legs are toned enough for short hemlines, so I show off what I've got (while I've still got it).

When in doubt, wear nude pumps.

Matched to my skin tone, they're a safe bet and they make my legs look even longer.

If it works, keep working with it.

When I find a style that looks good on me, I become a fan of that style and populate my wardrobe with more examples of that style. For example, I discovered that I look good in wrap dresses and as a result, I now own an assortment of wrap dresses.

On the other hand, keep an open mind. When you are shopping, try on styles that are not in your style book. You never know – it may look great on you. That's how I discovered that jumpsuits belong in my style book.

Never buy a boring coat.

"Outerwear should never be an afterthought," says Holmes & Yang co-designer Jeanne Yang. "So many people only see you in your coat—if you're not wearing something great underneath your trench, they'll never even know!"

With that thought in mind, fur coats are never boring. I own two full-length fur coats and a fur jacket. And I love animals, so all my furs are fake.

Own something in animal print.

Animal prints are timeless, racy enough, and always glamorous. I own a variety of animal print clothing and accessories.

Scarves are not for hiding.

Scarves are recommended for girls like us to hide our Adam's apple. I don't have much of an Adam's apple, so I never wore scarves... until about five years ago, when I came across my dear departed Mother's stash of scarves. One girls' night out, I wore one of her scarves in her honor; I liked the look and began collecting and wearing my own stash of scarves.

Bigger jewelry is better jewelry.

Most girls like us are proportionally larger than cisgender girls. As a result, some of the jewelry designed for cis-girls is proportionally too small for us. So when I shop for jewelry, I shop for jewelry that is bigger rather than smaller.

***

If you have any questions about my secrets or anything else, please ask (stana-stana at sbcglobal.net).

(Thanks to InStyle.com for helping me bring out my secrets.)

Caveat Emptor: This post is an edited rerun from two years ago

Michalina Manios, a Polish gurl

A Big Deal

Massachusetts Attorney General Maura Healey will be one of the keynote speakers at the Transgender Conference, First Event 2016. Ms. Healey will be among the many speakers, workshop leaders, and events at the conference.

The conference, in its 36th year, is being held January 20th to the 24th, 2016, at the Westin Hotel, Waltham MA, just outside of Boston.

Ms. Healey is an advocate for transgender rights, having supported the 2011 “An Act Relative to Gender Identity." Recently she testified in support of current legislation under consideration to protect transgender people in places of public accommodation.

This is a big deal for the trans community. Government officials attend LGBT events. For example, at One Big Event in November, Connecticut's Senator Blumenthal and Hartford's Mayor Segarra were in attendance and spoke at the event, but that was an LGBT event. Until now, government officials did not show up for trans-only events, so that is why it is a big deal that the Massachusetts Attorney General will be at First Event.

Hopefully, we have turned a corner and trans-only events will continue to attract government officials.

Wearing The Kooples.

Me and my friends at First Event, January 2005

Get Curvy

Recently, people have commented positively about my figure and Billie asked, “I would like to learn your secret to a wonderful and very womanly body!”

Over 50 years of femulating, I have tried various methods to achieve a girlish figure. I will not bore you with that history; instead, I will concentrate on my current modus operandi for getting curvy.

From top to bottom, I wear a bra, waist cincher, and panties. Over the bra and waist cincher, I wear a shapewear cami and over the panties, I wear a shapewear brief.

Waist Not Want Not

I wear a waist cincher to reduce my waistline by a few, but noticeable inches. My waist cincher is so old that the brand name tag is unreadable and I don't remember the brand, but it is nothing unusual. It is a dead ringer for this 12-inch long, front hook-and-eye closure Maidenform waist cincher that is available from JCPenney's, Kohl's, Macy's, etc.

Occasionally, I strap on my heavy-duty underbust corset if I think I will need a little extra curvature, but normally, my waist cincher is all I need.

For the Girls

Victoria's Secret claims that their Bombshell push-up bra will add two cup sizes. It is heavily padded to accomplish that feat. Since I am blessed with small, but decidedly female breasts, wearing a Bombshell bra makes my girls outstanding in their field without anything extra.

I am sold on Vicky's Bombshell bra and that is the only kind I have bought since they were recommended to me by a saleswoman at Vicky's. I think you will be happy wearing a Bombshell, but  if you are flat-chested, you probably need to wear a breast form to fill out the cups of the Bombsell. (Later, I will describe how to make your own breast forms.)

For the Boys

I wear panties under a Bali shapewear brief, although the shapewear manufacturers' claim that panties are not necessary "because they all make shapewear with a cotton crotch or an accessible crotch."

That being said, I wear panties to help manage my boy parts down under. I tuck and the panties help keep the tucked parts in place. I have had less success maintaining tucks wearing shapewear without panties, although your mileage may vary.

Whereas the panties keep my boys in check, the Bali shapewear brief flattens my tummy and rounds up my cheeks to achieve a more attractive and more feminine shape.

Smoothing Things Over

Over the bra and waist cincher, I wear Bali's cami torset top. It is a cami with the front cut out to allow you to wear whatever bra you want. Meanwhile, it smooths out any uneveness that may occur between the bra and waist cincher and it also eliminates the back fat that has long been an issue that I thought I would never conquer.

I tuck the shapewear cami into the shapewear brief to keep the cami from riding up.

Voila! That is how I achieve my girlish figure.

There are a lot of layers and they can warm you up, but I solved the overheating issue by wearing short skirts! Short skirts and a fab figure are a winning combination!

Back to the Girls

I mentioned above that I don't wear breast forms because my natural B cups sitting comfortably in a Bombshell bra are more than adequate. But if I am wearing something revealing that will show off cleavage, I use breast forms to help create that cleavage.

In the past to create cleavage, I used surgical tape to squeeze my breasts together then added makeup to enhance the squeeze. It was very effective, but removing the tape was very painful and often resulted in skin abrasions and minor bleeding that took days or weeks to heal.

I now use a painless method to create cleavage ― a combination of a Victoria's Secret Bombshell push-up bra and breast forms, which is just as effective as taping and a lot more comfortable.

I insert a breast form into a bra cup with one hand, lift my breast with the other hand and place the form under my uplifted breast. The uplifted breasts create the cleavage and the heavy padding of the Bombshell bra holds everything in place just like the surgical tape had done so in the past.

I have gone whole evenings without my girls moving out of place, but if there ever is any slippage, I can quickly lift my breast(s) back in place when I have a private moment (like in a stall of the ladies' room).

Makeup For My Girls

After my girls are in place, I add makeup, applying two shades of bronzer or powder. A dark shade adds depth to the shadows of the cleavage and a light shade enhances the front of the breasts to make them look more outstanding.

I apply the darker shade in the space between my breasts and sweep the powder upward and outward, creating a V-shape along the “natural” curve of the breasts, then I blend the powder until it looks like a shadow and not a strip of powder.

A little goes a long way, so don’t overdue it. You can always add more dark powder if needed; removing it is more difficult.

I apply the lighter shade to the front of my breasts and blend it back towards, but not all the way to the dark shade.

DIY 

I made my own breast forms using a female impersonator's recipe: birdseed in a sock. (I actually used dried green peas instead of birdseed.)

1.  Use birdseed or dried green peas to fill a thin sock (not a thick heavy sock) to the cup size you desire.

2.  Tie off the sock as close as possible to the ball of seed or peas.

3.  Trim off any access sock and fold the remainder over the knot. Under a bra, the knot does a good job of femulating a nipple.

I made my forms over 30 years ago and they are still holding up.

And so it goes.

Wearing JustFab.

Peter Outerbridge (right) in the 1999 Canadian film Better Than Chocolate.

Erica's Favorite Photos (of Erica!)

Dear Stana,

I want to say thank you a million times. Femulate has become a very important positive thing in my life for one big reason ― it has helped me find a way out into the world as my true self. What could be bigger?

My goal is to transition to being the woman I am full time. This week has been my very first week of what I am planning to be a three-year process. It has been my dream to be myself at least since I was 12 years old. For more than four decades, I never have been able to see my way to fulfill this dream until now.

Seven months ago, I was at a very low point in my life. I had daily thoughts of ending it. A friend said to me he thought it was good I didn't keep a gun in the house. He maybe was right. A big reason I was depressed was because my marriage had ended. It was complicated, but a lot of the trouble was due to me being transgender. 

Just prior to my marriage, I had promised myself that trans was over and that I always would keep this secret from my wife. I had come out in two previous relationships, neither of which lasted long after that. Many readers here will understand what I mean by "purge." All of my clothes and shoes left one day in a box, picked up by a garbage truck in a Chicago alleyway. In the end, I had to try to tell my wife anyway. She was so angry that the marriage was pretty much over before I could give her a full explanation. (Amazingly, my ex-wife is very supportive now.)

I had to do something. I finally decided to do the obvious thing ― I decided to stop suppressing my transgender identity. What followed has been nothing short of a miracle. As therapy tells us, suppression and secrets take enormous emotional strength and exact terrible costs. So almost immediately after releasing myself, my mood soared to the highest point it had been for years. Body hair came off, I bought some new dressy clothes, heels, sleepwear, and so on for home life (I live by myself now). 

But then I realized this was not enough. I had to be out in public as a woman. My approach was to buy things I could wear everyday. I got some casual wear, sandals, capris pants, etc. and started just wearing these clothes all the time. I even spent a couple of days all around town in Minneapolis during Pride Week in my most feminine casual attire. Nobody said, “Boo.” I was onto something! 

In the seven months that followed, I practiced voice and mannerisms, got a lot more clothes, and even wore toned-down, androgynous outfits to work nearly every day. I wear these wedge-heeled booties all the time ― obviously women's ― no one seemed to notice or care. After a while, though, I came to the realization that what I have been doing is so good, so right, and so necessary for me to live the rest of my life that I decided that my transitioning to full time is the right course of action.

The first week of the New Year has been an intensely joyful launch of my transition. Really, I have been reborn. And I have a new sister, Ava Green, who has helped me enormously. I cannot thank her enough. Emotion wells up in me now when I think of her. 

The pictures you see were taken with Ava.  They, of course, jump off the charts as my favorite pictures of me that ever have been taken. She created an Eva Marie Saint North by Northwest look for me that moves me so much I know I am going to want to recreate and improve it again and again. Wow, I didn't think I could wear a form-fitting dress, but Ava got me into one. Being a woman is so very, very, very much fun!

I did feel some discrimination in my new role as myself ― all positive in my favor. It's amazing how people treat a well-dressed woman. "Yes, ma'am, can I help you,"  ...  "How are you ladies doing?" ... "That's such a pretty ring!" ...  They're all over you with kindness I don't remember getting before. Ava said I was natural at using my feminine face and smile. I suppose it comes from letting my emotions and true self out. Or maybe it was just from batting false eyelashes! 

The restaurant scene is at a great Thai place Ava suggested. Here's to you, Ava! And to you too, Stana!!

The road ahead will be long and undoubtedly will have many difficulties. I am way more public now than ever before. It's getting tricky, so I am trying to plan carefully how to come out completely ― including at work (where I'm not yet) ― at the right time. But my terror is gone. We can live our authentic lives as transgender women! We can do it!

Please let readers know, Stana, that I'm keeping a travelogue of my transition at http://ericajkilian.blogspot.com. I want to try to contribute to our community as much as possible, the same as you and many of the very fine people whose blogs you list. Your links are a wonderful resource. For example, I found Hannah's Diary through you, and from there I found Ava! Don't doubt for a second that you're doing something important here!

Thank you so much, Stana.

Erica Kilian

Calling all girls! My open invitation to post your favorite photo along with the story behind it and the reason it is your favorite photo still stands, so don't be shy, send me your fave foto. ― Stana

Wearing Joie.

Actor Jonas Chernick wearing fur coat in the 2012 Canadian film My Awkward Sexual Adventure.