Been There, Done That

Gloria's 1962 Christmas card from Casa Susanna

The Care and Feeding of Clip-On Earrings

By Amy

Today, our regular contributor, Amy, writes about clip-on earrings.

I have not pierced my ears, but may yet find the courage to do it someday. I can rationalize lash extensions, Botox, dermal fillers and long hair for every day, but just haven’t taken this step. Go figure.

Clip-ons can be maddening as some are too loose, some are too tight, while seemingly few are just right. I have a couple pair that cause my ear lobes to scream after a full day of wear.

Those earrings that are too tight often get taken off when I am in the car and placed on my lap as I drive, while I rub my ear lobes! Then I forget where they are, jump out of the car and they go bouncing across the parking lot, sometimes unseen and lost. I often walk into my destination and discover my ears are bare!

But I get along pretty well with clip-ons. If I find a pair of post earrings that I just have to have, I can usually get them made as or converted to clip-ons when I order them. Alternately, after the purchase, I may take them to my jeweler for conversion.

Some jewelers don’t want to mess with this type of work especially if they are made with base metals and some won’t even bother with silver. Since most my earrings are not gold, I have found a couple of local jewelers who will fix whatever I come in the door with.

I found the Earring Doctor that has a great assortment of fixes for clip-ons and posts. The Earring Doctor has a good selection of pads that better distribute the pressure of the clip-on and also correct a heavy earring from sliding off – critical! They even have a wrench like tool for adjustments.

I just purchased a vintage pair of Chanel clip-ons, quite large with large pearls as drops. The weight of these really requires a sticky pad on the back of my lobe. I have a trick for heavy earrings; I use a broad pad on the back clip and a dab of It Stays skin adhesive on the back side of my lobe. This creates a really nice holding surface that lasts; you can forget about losing one or both earrings and enjoy your day.

Coco Chanel once said, "I always take off at least one piece of jewelry before I leave the house… to ensure that I am not overdoing it."

Good advice.

Wearing Jay Godfrey.

Boys and girls crossdressed at a Christmas party, circa 1935.

Gurls' Night Out

Christmas decor in the lobby of City Place in Hartford.

The agenda for Wednesday's gurls' night out was to go to Hartford to dine at Max Downtown and after dinner, go to TheaterWorks to see Christmas on the Rocks, "an off beat collection of twisted holiday tales."

I don't know my way around downtown Hartford especially in the dark, so I bribed Diana to do the driving because she works in Hartford and knows her way around town even in the dark! So after I got dressed to the nines, I drove to Diana's abode and she drove us to Hartford.

I-84 in Hartford was threatening to become a parking lot and although we left Diana's house with plenty of time to spare, making our 5:30 reservation at the restaurant looked impossible. Hopefully, the other gurls would save the day and get to the restaurant on time.

After abandoning I-84 and working her way through the streets of Hartford, Diana parked in the City Place underground garage, which was under the restaurant (more or less) and we arrived at the restaurant about ten minutes late. Luckily, the other gurls (Laura and Robin) and Robin's spouse (Arlene) did arrive on time, so our reservations were intact.

Let me tell you about the restaurant.

Robin suggested it and I went along ― it was new to me and I am always willing to try something new. I checked the menu online and its prices were on the high side, but it's the holidays, so what the heck!

This place was very classy. Probably one of the classiest restaurants I have ever been in. The male diners all wore suits or sports jackets and the female diners were equally well-dressed. No jeans or tees in this joint!

After checking in, they asked to take our coats and I was pleased to give mine up so I could better show off my outfit while we were escorted to our table. It was a long walk during which I strutted my stuff and took note of some of the attention I was getting. I loved it!

It wasn't long ago that when this gurl was in a similar situation, she would avoid eye contact with any civilians and try to hide in plain sight. Now she relishes the attention, tries to make eye contact and responds with a pretty smile. That's progress!

The restaurant was packed and we were seated next to tables full of business people, who seemed to mind their own business and not ours, which is no surprise because a table full of middle-aged women just blends into the background in settings like these.

The very attentive waitstaff used the correct pronouns, called us "ladies" and made our visit as enjoyable as possible. The wine and food ("Max’s Label Dry Aged Prime Beef Burger," a $21 cheeseburger) was excellent, but the after-dinner coffee seemed a little stale.

Showtime was quickly approaching, so we paid the bill and prepared to exit. I knew that as soon as I hit the cold air outdoors I would have to relieve myself, so while the others headed for the exit, I headed for ladies' room and used the facilities as they were intended to be used, that is, I sat to pee.

Exiting the ladies' room, I was unsure about which way to go to get to the exit. One of the staff, an older gent (probably my age), sensed my predicament and asked me where I wanted to go. He then escorted me all the way to the exit, while engaging me in conversation about my experience at the restaurant. It was such a feminine moment ― a lady in distress rescued by a knight in shining armor!

Next stop was the theater ― a short two-block walk from the restaurant. The theater was small and the seats were narrow. I was very uncomfortable the whole time and it took away from my enjoyment of the show.

The theater describes the play, thusly, "It's Christmas Eve in a rundown local bar. Expecting a silent night, the bartender finds himself mixing drinks for a parade of surprising guests - children from your favorite Christmas specials and movies - now all grown up! Tiny Tim, Charlie Brown, Cindy Lou Who and a host of others pour out their Christmas woes in this delightful parody."

The Cindy Lou Who (of Grinch fame) and Charlie Brown segments were excellent; the others were OK. They saved the best for last (Cindy and Charlie), so I was less anxious to get out of Dodge because those segments held my interest, but I was still very happy to get up from my uncomfortable seat and file out when the show ended.

Outside the theater, we exchanged hugs and season's greeting because Arlene-Laura-Robin were parked in a different location than we were parked. Diana and I walked back to City Place under which Diana's car was parked and after a couple of false starts trying to get into the now locked-up building, we finally were let in, paid for the parking and left Hartford.

Back home, I turned back into a pumpkin at 10:30 PM with memories of an excellent gurls' night out. We discussed doing it again real soon now and I hope we do.  

Eddie Izzard

Cyrsti's Favorite Photo (of Cyrsti!)

I have watched for months with fascination the ladies who have sent you pix for publication. Presuming I am good enough to pass along a pix, this particular one means a lot to me from last summer.

First of all I love the shot which was taken high over the Ohio River near Ripley, Ohio.

Second of all, last summer was really the first I could be free. I could wear sleeveless fashion, tees, etc. Finally, Liz and I were enjoying a sort of a mini-vacation, the weather was wonderful and I could enjoy the world as I was always meant to do it.

Thanks!

Best wishes for wonderful holidays!

Cyrsti

Calling all girls! My open invitation to post your favorite photo along with the story behind it and the reason it is your favorite photo still stands, so don't be shy, send me your fave foto. ― Stana

Wearing Lovers & Friends.

Boys can be Santa's Helpers, too.

Getting Outfitted for the Night Out

Yesterday, I mentioned that I went out Wednesday night for a dinner and a show to celebrate Christmas with my gurl friends. And so I did.

I planned to wear my new Calvin Klein sleeveless black and white colorblock textured sheath with my new Nine West pewter Leapafaith pointy toe high heel pumps. FEDEX was supposed to deliver the shoes on Monday, but FEDEX was a no-show.

I checked online and FEDEX rescheduled delivery for Friday, so I decided to wear my Payless Janine black patent pointy toe high heel pumps. I bought the Janines some time ago and had never worn them, so Wednesday noon, I installed a pair of Insolia inserts in advance of my gurls' night out.

Within an hour, the mailman rang the doorbell with a package to deliver: my Nine West Leapafaiths! So I installed a pair of Insolia pumps in the Leapafaiths, too, and slipped them on my feet to get used to wearing them because the heel is a little higher than what I usually wear
.
According to Nine West's description, the Leapafaiths have a 1/2" hidden platform and 4 1/2" high heels. Despite those specs, they were very comfortable for the hour or so I wore them around the house, but I feared wearing them Wednesday night because our plans involved some walking on city streets and sidewalks... not the best environment for high heel comfort.

The Leapafaiths were absolutely beautiful, but I decided against wearing them and went back to Plan B: the Payless Janines. As it turned out, the Janines were comfortable from beginning to end Wednesday night, but in retrospect, the Leapafaiths would probably have been fine, too, because our walks involved short jaunts separated by long periods of sitting, but I did not know that in advance.

Mid-afternoon, I put on my face and did my hair. Then I slipped on my undies, dress, shoes, jewelry and nails ― avoiding mirrors until I was all put together. When I was ready, I looked in the full-length mirror and was very pleased with what I saw: an attractive 64-year-old woman.

I love that look!

Wearing JB by Julie Brown.

Wife and husband dressed up to attend husband’s company Christmas party. (Wow!)

Dinner and a Show and More

Wednesday evening, I went out for dinner and a show to celebrate Christmas with some of my gurl friends. Since I am writing this before the fact, I have nothing to say about our gurls' night out, but you can be sure I will have something to say tomorrow!

Petra started her Voyages en Rose blog in 2008 and posted regularly about her life in Atlanta's femme lane for years. But in 2013, she published her last post and left a big gap in the trans blogosphere as far as I was concerned. Out of the blue, Petra published a new post on Sunday! I don't know if she will be blogging regularly again, but I welcome her back with open arms.

Googling this and that, I encounter a lot of trans blogs and websites. A few days ago, I visited a a new one (for me) that I found very interesting. Joe is a crossdresser and goes out dressed in women's clothing on a regular basis, but he does not femulate. No wig, no makeup, no female mannerisms, Joe does not attempt to emulate a female. As he says on his blog, " I do not imagine myself to be a female when I dress." I found his stories fascinating and you can too by reading Joe's blog, joeypress.

Wearing Prabal Gurung.

Howard Stern's Christmas card

Unleashing Your Lashes

By Amy

Today, our regular contributor, Amy, focuses on eyelashes.

Previously I wrote about what I think have been very worthwhile relationships with dermatologists.

There was another product that I was encouraged to try, Latisse.

My eyelashes are already longish by any standard. But I was an early adopter of Latisse. It has some negative effects on a few, so do your own research. Eyes as well as the skin of the eyelid can darken. But I get none of that and have stuck to an every other day application on my upper and lower lids.

Others notice my lash length, but I can more easily see the thickness and length of the lower lashes in a mirror. Latisse is expensive, but if you are careful you can get your money’s worth by using it every other day and being careful not to over apply the product on to your brush.

This increased length and thickness of my lashes made mascara easier and more effective. But the truth is I really dislike using mascara! So I started getting eyelash extensions, too.

There are a few different makers of lashes and they come in different thicknesses, lengths and curls. You need to go to different salons and try out their stylist and product. Some are better than others and some glues they use vary in quality, too.

I started getting a small number put on so no one would really notice. Even a small number of short lashes were a huge improvement in making a very pretty eye. I could get by in boy-mode with these, but they were noticeable.

The worst episode happened when one stylist really didn’t take me seriously that I wanted them to be barely noticeable. I went out of there (with way too many long lashes), not realizing just how long and feminine they looked and went in boy-mode to work and dinner with friends the next day and really got called out!

So I have sprinkled in a few 9 and 10 lengths now and refill about once a month. This gives my very straight lashes, some curl and added length. I can shower carefully with them on. I have a remover chemical to take them off if I want, but it really hurts the eyes if you let it leak in. So I don’t wear any more lashes than just the basics, full time.

When I travel or take any time off, I do go in for a full set, and go to 12-14 lengths of fine lashes. They look beyond wonderful and once you do this you will never need mascara again!

Having them put on is like a massage! You lay back, close your eyes and the feeling of them going on with your stylist brushing your lashes as she goes is heaven. You have to try it to believe it and don’t blame me if like me, you become addicted!

A good stylist can demonstrate different shapes and ways of applying these to give you the cat eye or other look you may like (I like them natural in shape).

Have fun with your lashes and with developing a relationship with a stylist. Few things you can do will change your look like extensions will.

Wearing Cashmere Addiction.

Crossdressed family Christmas card!

When I Grow Up

Elaine Armen passed along this link to a recent article about Toronto's oldest drag queen, Michelle DuBarry. I have posted photos of Miss DuBarry here in the past, so it is nice to read some words about her, too. But it is also nice to see photos, so here is a link to some of her pictures.

I don't know about you, but I don't think Miss DuBarry is a "drag queen." I would call her a "female impersonator," "female illusionist" or "professional femulator," that is, a performer who attempts to emulate rather than caricaturize a female, as most drag queens do.

Drag is not my thing, but I am fascinated by the art of professional femulation. If I can do it over again, I want to be a professional femulator when I grow up.

Michelle DuBarry (left) with The Great Imposters

Wearing Opening Ceremony.

The Prancing Elites dance troupe

7 Things Every Woman Who Wears Heels Should Know

My New Shoe

I hate reading articles like this one especially after just ordering a new pair of 4-1/2-inch high heels from Nine West!

The bottom line according to the Who What Wear article is: "Wear heels as infrequently as possible, and do plenty of foot stretches after you take them off."

I also do foot stretches before I wear heels and that seems to help.

Wearing high heels is a crap shoot. It is impossible to know how a pair of heels will work for you.

I have heels that work well ― I can wear them all day long without a problem. They are shoes that give some women pause when they see me wearing them. They wonder how anyone can manage to walk in such skyscrapers.

On the other hand, I have heels that are dead ringers for my comfortable heels, but they become unwearable after a few hours. Go figure.

Here are some of my most recent heel purchases that have worked well.

Payless Janine pointy toe pump with a three-inch heel. I was so happy with the Janine that I ordered additional pairs in a variety of colors.

Payless Carmen round toe pump. This three-inch high heel is basically the round toe version of the Janine. It is available in over a dozen colors and like the Janine, I ordered more than one pair.

Nine West Love Fury pointy-toe platform pump with all leather upper, 4-1/2-inch heel and 3/4-inch platform. These skyscrapers are no longer available from Nine West, but you may still find them in other outlets.

By the way, I use Insolia inserts in all my high heels. They were recommended to me years ago by a girl who loves high heels. Since they worked so well for her, I gave them a try and found that they worked well for me, too!

So go trip the light fantastic in comfort! 

Wearing Max Mara.

The Golden Girls: The Christmas Episodes on stage in San Francisco, 2013.

Christmas Shopping