Comparing Favorably

Saturday night, I attended One Big Event at the Connecticut Convention Center in Hartford. It is an annual fund raiser for the Hartford Gay & Lesbian Health Collective.

It is a black tie affair and I try to dress appropriately. I have attended four times in the past and have always worn a cocktail dress. The year was no different and I wore a purple Connected sequin-lace cowl-neck sheath dress from Macy’s that I bought on the day I went to work as a woman, Halloween Eve. It is a gorgeous dress and it garnered me compliments throughout the night. For example, I was touching up my makeup in the ladies’ room after dinner and a woman who was doing the same at another sink, tapped me on the shoulder as she left the room and said, “I love your dress!”

For days, I could not make up my mind what shoes to wear. I seriously considered wearing a pair of white sequin strappy sandals with a 5-inch heel, but I knew that they would cripple me half way through the evening (or even sooner), so I wore a pair of shoes that I figured would be easier on my feet, nude high heel pumps from Payless with a 3-inch heel. As it turned out, they were very comfortable and I wore them all night without a problem. I even drove to and from the affair wearing them in my standard shift Subaru.

I wanted to try a more glamorous look with my eye makeup: a smokey purple look to go along with my purple dress and to compliment my green eyes. I found exactly what I needed on the Internet: a how-to video on YouTube. I did not have the exact products that the woman in the video used, so I had to approximate and the results were a reasonable facsimile of the her handiwork.

After an uneventful 35-minute drive, I arrived at the Convention Center at 6 PM, just as the event was scheduled to begin. The Convention Center was also the site of an auto show, so leaving the Convention Center were throngs of people in casual garb, while in the opposite direction were groups of people dressed to kill. It was an incongruous sight.

The trans contingent was not as numerous as in past years: four trans girls I knew (Audrey,Diana, Laura and Karen), probably another three or four I did not know and there may have been others I did not identify as trans.

The cocktail hour lasted about 90 minutes. I mingled and chatted with a few friends and acquaintances while taking in all the women decked out in beautiful evening gowns and cocktail dresses. I think I compared favorably.

More in the next post.

Wearing Brahmin.

Andreja Pejic

Last Night

I attended One Big Event last night.

I wore a purple Connected sequin-lace cowl-neck sheath dress from Macy's, nude high heel pumps from Payless, nude thigh highs from Berkshire and pearl jewelry from assorted sources.

I will write up the details about my evening out later today and post them as soon as possible.

Love,

Stana

Allison's Favorite Photo (of Allison!)

You asked your readers to send in their favorite pic of themselves and the story behind it. Of course, I sent in my favorite pic then (why do we take so many pics of ourselves?) :) That was January this year.

Since then I had another makeover and photoshoot. Well, this time the pics outside came out great. I had a fabulous time at Makeovers with Elizabeth Taylor in DC.

This pic is my new favorite, I think it is the single best pic of me yet, and I just had to send it to you!

The absolute best part (of which you can’t see) is that my wife of 35 years goes with me to my makeovers. Usually she sits by and doesn’t offer many opinions or suggestions. Just sits patiently until we are done. But this time she helped me pick outfits, shoes, hair and helped me get dressed. I can’t tell you how much I loved it and her!

After the photoshoot I drove back to the hotel still dressed as a woman which is a first for me. I can only hope to go out more as my true self.

Anyway, I so enjoy Femulate and read it every day, please keep up the good work!

Hugs Allison!


Calling all girls! My open invitation to post your favorite photo along with the story behind it and the reason it is your favorite photo still stands, so don't be shy, send me your fave foto. ― Stana

Wearing Brahmin.

I did a Google Image search on "femulator" and the first image that came back that
had not previously appeared here was this one of Liza from Flickr Hive Mind. 

The End

In response to my request on how to improve the feminine presentation of my little caboose, I received a couple of e-mails (in addition to Amy's article posted here yesterday).

Gina wrote, "Without padding, I am straight-sided, straight-backed, boy-shaped. I don’t look real, and regardless of whether or not anyone would notice, I don’t like it myself.

"I just love my curves and the feminine look they give me. I never go out without them, except on a hot summer day when I wear only panties and bra under a loose, flowing, summer dress.

"My padded body looks great in the bodycon dresses I love to wear. But, I have had to experiment over the years to get it just right.

"My lessons learned:

"–   Do it, but don’t overdo it; too much is as bad as too little.

"–   Always look in a full-length mirror to make sure it looks right, i.e., symmetrical, properly-positioned and no ridges.

"–   Use a padded panty instead of a larger garment. It’s a lot more comfortable and easier in the ladies room. I love my Bubbles Hipee and Squeem Perfect Waist – a perfect combination!

"–   Use a panty with only two pads, one for the hip and butt on each side. I have tried 4-pad panties (two hip and two butt) and found them to be cumbersome and difficult to control.

"–   I have found that the 4-pad panties sometimes have gaps or valleys between the hip and butt – especially in a bodycon dress or pencil skirt (maybe it’s just me).

"–   On the Internet, go to Dress Tech for the ultimate in hip pads. I saw these demonstrated at the 2015 Keystone Conference – very impressive, but expensive and maybe heavy. Couldn’t wear with my bikini. I’m waiting for the hip and butt version to come out before I decide.

"Whatever you wear – enjoy it and be confident!"

Bonnie wrote, "In response to your request, there is no need to ever Be Behind in the future, as I have some URLs for you to solve your concerns, and Be Prepared:

"TRANSFORM Padded Panty: http://www.thebreastformstore.com/mens-padded-panty2.aspx

"Underworks Padded Panty: http://www.thebreastformstore.com/underworks-padded-panty-girdle.aspx

"I have patronized this store for several years and have always been pleased with the products, prices and service. Hope this solves your query."

Wearing BaubleBar.

Actor David Suchet as Lady Bracknell on the
British stage in The Importance of Being Earnest.
(Thank-you, Davina)

Passing is Serious Business

Waist-to-Hip Ratios

By Amy

I am a long time user of hip pads. 

I am on average small at 5'9" and 145 pounds around the holidays! What I am not is a know-it-all. So what follows is my experience based on my body type and years of passing pretty well. Since we are all different, I encourage you to learn what you can, experiment with these products and decide what works for you.

The goal is to appear unquestionably female. When I see others on YouTube making their own foam pads and covering them with layers of tights and hose, I cringe. That’s not for me. And please, no bubble butts! I can do many things myself, but passing in public in any outfit with a great shape is serious business!

Classic Curves is a maker of high quality garments that have been around a long time. These are well-made girdle-styled garments with a dense foam pad in side pockets. There are several designs and you simply have to review them all to decide which will give you the desired look. I use the simple Veronica 2 and I wear a small 30 with the corresponding pads.

I like that when you order from Classic Curves; you get a questionnaire for all your important dimensions. The questionnaire helps get you thinking about the correct proportions you need. 

I don’t really know if Espy (the owner) makes a pad custom for each garment, but mine have worked perfectly. Classic Curves’ garment with very well-formed pads loaded in pockets on both sides is a no-brainer. Do your tuck, pull on cotton panties, and slip on your Classic Curves garment. 

I am a 28-inch waist and 35-inch hip naturally and this garment takes me to 39-inch. I wear size 8 pants, skirts and dresses perfectly. The proportions of my shoulders, chest, waist and hip are not perfect, but darn close. Without the garment, a dress just hangs on me! With the Veronica 2, my shape from any angle is in good proportion and very convincing.

I augment my Veronica 2 with a simple oval foam pad slipped up each leg of the garment. I use It Stays adhesive to secure it under the Veronica leg. This gives my thigh (outboard side) the proper proportion to my hip and rear. The line created from my waist down to my mid-thigh is perfect in tight jeans or a skirt. My waist to my lower thigh appears perfectly real and feminine with any fabric including knits draped against me. The garment also brings the narrowest point of my waist up a bit visually shortening my upper torso. The effect is correct. I can wear this all day in perfect comfort, no matter the temperature. I barely know I have it on. I have received hundreds of compliments on my shape.

As I am always in search of a better mouse trap, I came across Dress Tech pads. I contacted Judi, the owner, and she took my measurements. I told her I needed to stay a size 8 and it turned out that her large pad would add 4 inches to my hip circumference resulting in a .71, which she says is a perfect female waist-to-hip ratio. 

Dress Tech pads are pure silicone, well made, too. There is no garment, so you need to look into Spanx. (I am using a very shear version with no seams and laser cut edges). I developed my own system of putting them on as you will, too. They don’t stick to you. Once the pads are correctly located and Spanx on, you will have a higher waist line and full bottom; the effect is amazing. 

There are no edges of the silicon that show through the Spanx. My pads gave me again a perfect 39-inch hip with slightly less volume overall than my Classic Curves pads. The fit of my jeans is slightly looser than with Classic Curves, but it is not a material issue. Seriously, I can and will stand in any dressing room with nothing but these pads under Spanx (and my bra) and no one looking in is going to suspect my shape isn’t all me. It’s that good!

So both products are excellent, certainly for my body type. There is much more you can learn by going to the respective websites and or speaking with the owners. It’s all about proportion and comfort. It’s all about moving freely and not giving this a second thought after you are dressed. With ether you can wear skinny jeans or a dress and know that your form will be correct. You can concentrate on wearing some great clothes and looking your best.

Wearing Cashmere and Cupcakes dress and Schutz shoes.

Actor Romain Duris in the 2014 French film The New Girlfriend. 

Did you play with Barbie dolls?

Growing up, my sister had a couple of Barbie dolls and a Ken doll. I never played with them because I did not want to blow my cover as a "normal" boy. Even home alone, I did not dress up her Barbie's; I preferred to dress up myself ― why waste the opportunity dressing a doll!

I will admit that one time I dressed Ken in one of Barbie's outfits. The transition was not very satisfactory. Sans makeup, Ken looked like a guy in a dress. Even borrowing one of Barbie's wigs did not help.

I did not own any G.I. Joe dolls because Joe came out after I outgrew toys. And even if I was young enough, I am not so sure I would want a G.I. Joe doll ― it was still a "doll" and only girls played with dolls and I did not want to blow my cover and yadda, yadda, yadda.

Times have changed. Boys have been playing with G.I. Joe dolls for a couple of generations.

I think that G.I. Joe was a gateway toy. It made it OK for boys to play with dolls, so I am sure that some boys have been playing with Barbie dolls for a couple of generations, too.

As they say, "What's good for the goose is good for the gander." So along comes a new Moschoni Barbie commercial that includes a boy playing with a Barbie doll.

"Moschino Barbie is so fierce," remarks the little lad as he daintily holds the chain of a Moschino Barbie purse between his thumb and index finger.

All I can say is, "Wow! You go, gurl!"

Wearing Tory Burch.

Steve admires his femulation in a 2015 episode of television's American Dad.

Fixing Mirror Selfies

I have not seen this mentioned anywhere else, so I will mention it as it crosses my mind again. (Actually, it crossed my mind yesterday when I posted a recent mirror selfie.)

Years ago, when I started taking mirror selfies, I liked the results, but I always thought something was wrong with the photo. I did not look quite right.

A mirror selfie depicts the opposite of reality. What appears on the left in a mirror selfie is actually on the right in the real world and vice versa.

Since no face is perfectly symmetrical, that is, the right and left sides of a face are not exactly the same, it makes perfect sense why a mirror selfie does not look right. That's because the face is flipped horizontally from how it really appears.

To fix a mirror selfie so that it more closely reflects reality, use a photo manipulation app to flip the image horizontally. (In Photoshop, select Image > Image Rotation > Flip Canvas Horizontal to fix a mirror selfie.)

The accompanying photos show a mirror selfie before and after flipping the photo horizontally.

Now my mirror selfies look quite right!

Wearing Ted Baker London.

Actor Romain Duris in the 2014 French film The New Girlfriend.

Monday Musings

A Mirror Selfie

Thank-you!

Thank-you for all your comments and e-mails in response to my request for your input on why I should or should not come out as trans at work.

Almost everyone supported my desire to come out and almost everyone said that I should only do it with my wife's support.

There was some disagreement on what I should do after I come out:

• Live as a woman 24/7
• Work as a woman, home as a man
• Work as a woman or a man depending on my mood

I am mulling everything over trying to decide what to do.

One Big Event

Since I did not spend $1000+ attending Fantasia Fair last month, my pocketbook permits me to attend One Big Event this Saturday with bells on.

One Big Event is a benefit for the Hartford Gay & Lesbian Health Collective and is billed as "Connecticut's Premier LGBTQ Gala." I have attended in the past and have enjoyed the event each time.

One Big Event is a black tie affair, but I will be wearing a new cocktail dress instead.

Your Favorite Photo

I received two inquiries over the weekend asking if I am still looking to post your favorite photos and the stories behind them, as I did earlier this year.

Yes, I am.

No one has sent me anything recently, so that is why I have not posted anything. That being said, my open invitation to post your favorite photo along with the story behind it and the reason it is your favorite photo still stands, so don't be shy, send me your fave foto.

Wearing Brahmin.

Linus Rosenauer, male model

Gender Blind

When I was preparing for the Saturday ham radio meeting, I thought that there was a possibility that a long-time acquaintance who is blind might be in attendance. She had attended that meeting in the past, so I wanted to be prepared in case she attended on Saturday. As it turned out, she did not attend.

But what if she did attend? She would likely recognize my voice, but would she receive any clues that I was a woman? Would she notice my long nails when we shook hands? Would she smell my perfume?

Someday, I will run into her as a woman and I will let you know what happens. In the meantime, I leave you with a wonderful story that Michelle sent me from the UK about identifying gender when you are blind.

Wearing Trina Turk. I love this dress and wish they had it in my size.

Linus Rosenauer, male model

T Awareness Week Starts Friday

Transgender Awareness Week (#TransWk) begins this Friday and ends next Friday, which is Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDOR).

TDOR is an annual event honoring the memory of those lives lost in acts of anti-transgender violence, whereas T Awareness Week is intended "to help raise the visibility of transgender and gender non-conforming people, and address the issues these communities face."

Doing my part, I took a half-step when I went to work as a woman on Halloween Eve. I am thinking about completing the step next week by admitting to my co-workers that I am indeed transgender. It will come as a surprise to some my co-workers, while others may already suspect that something is up, so I will only be confirming their suspicions.

Please tell me why I should do it and/or tell me why I should not.

Note that my job is not on the line; Human Resources, my boss and her boss already stated that they fully support me, so losing my job is not an issue.

I really appreciate your thoughts on this matter.

Wearing BB Dakota.

Landon Patterson, homecoming queen,
Oak Park High School, Kansas City, MO

A Connection

Whenever I encounter a transition story, I read it to see if there are any similarities between the subject transwoman and me.

Sure, our basic stories are usually similar ― she started out as a male with strong female inclinations, was bullied as a child, was confused, considered manning-up, yadda yadda yadda. But as they say, "there is no typical experience for people making the transition." Our stories are so different that I cannot make connection, that is, I cannot find anyone with an experience like mine so I can see how they navigated through the rough seas.

On Monday, Diana posted a link on her blog to a story about a transitioning CEO in Vermont named Christine Hallquist. The story starts off with Christine showing up at the office one day presenting as a male and then showing up the next day at a professional conference presenting as a woman, where she is fully accepted by her peers.

(Sound familiar? Reminds me of my trips to Hamvention, where I came out and was accepted by my fellow hams.)

And there's more.

Christine Conferencing

Before Christine came out at work, she had a photo of herself presenting as a woman in plain sight on her desk. "I thought, 'I'll use this as the vehicle to come out,'" she said. "But nobody ever asked who it was."

(Similarly, for over three years, I have had a framed photo of Stana on my desk at work in plain sight and nobody has ever mentioned it.)

There are other similarities, as well as differences between Christine and me. Nevertheless, I felt more of a connection with her than most transwomen I know.

Wearing Boston Proper.

Barney Rubble and Fred Flintstone, prehistoric femulators