Did you play with Barbie dolls?

Growing up, my sister had a couple of Barbie dolls and a Ken doll. I never played with them because I did not want to blow my cover as a "normal" boy. Even home alone, I did not dress up her Barbie's; I preferred to dress up myself ― why waste the opportunity dressing a doll!

I will admit that one time I dressed Ken in one of Barbie's outfits. The transition was not very satisfactory. Sans makeup, Ken looked like a guy in a dress. Even borrowing one of Barbie's wigs did not help.

I did not own any G.I. Joe dolls because Joe came out after I outgrew toys. And even if I was young enough, I am not so sure I would want a G.I. Joe doll ― it was still a "doll" and only girls played with dolls and I did not want to blow my cover and yadda, yadda, yadda.

Times have changed. Boys have been playing with G.I. Joe dolls for a couple of generations.

I think that G.I. Joe was a gateway toy. It made it OK for boys to play with dolls, so I am sure that some boys have been playing with Barbie dolls for a couple of generations, too.

As they say, "What's good for the goose is good for the gander." So along comes a new Moschoni Barbie commercial that includes a boy playing with a Barbie doll.

"Moschino Barbie is so fierce," remarks the little lad as he daintily holds the chain of a Moschino Barbie purse between his thumb and index finger.

All I can say is, "Wow! You go, gurl!"

Wearing Tory Burch.

Steve admires his femulation in a 2015 episode of television's American Dad.

Fixing Mirror Selfies

I have not seen this mentioned anywhere else, so I will mention it as it crosses my mind again. (Actually, it crossed my mind yesterday when I posted a recent mirror selfie.)

Years ago, when I started taking mirror selfies, I liked the results, but I always thought something was wrong with the photo. I did not look quite right.

A mirror selfie depicts the opposite of reality. What appears on the left in a mirror selfie is actually on the right in the real world and vice versa.

Since no face is perfectly symmetrical, that is, the right and left sides of a face are not exactly the same, it makes perfect sense why a mirror selfie does not look right. That's because the face is flipped horizontally from how it really appears.

To fix a mirror selfie so that it more closely reflects reality, use a photo manipulation app to flip the image horizontally. (In Photoshop, select Image > Image Rotation > Flip Canvas Horizontal to fix a mirror selfie.)

The accompanying photos show a mirror selfie before and after flipping the photo horizontally.

Now my mirror selfies look quite right!

Wearing Ted Baker London.

Actor Romain Duris in the 2014 French film The New Girlfriend.

Monday Musings

A Mirror Selfie

Thank-you!

Thank-you for all your comments and e-mails in response to my request for your input on why I should or should not come out as trans at work.

Almost everyone supported my desire to come out and almost everyone said that I should only do it with my wife's support.

There was some disagreement on what I should do after I come out:

• Live as a woman 24/7
• Work as a woman, home as a man
• Work as a woman or a man depending on my mood

I am mulling everything over trying to decide what to do.

One Big Event

Since I did not spend $1000+ attending Fantasia Fair last month, my pocketbook permits me to attend One Big Event this Saturday with bells on.

One Big Event is a benefit for the Hartford Gay & Lesbian Health Collective and is billed as "Connecticut's Premier LGBTQ Gala." I have attended in the past and have enjoyed the event each time.

One Big Event is a black tie affair, but I will be wearing a new cocktail dress instead.

Your Favorite Photo

I received two inquiries over the weekend asking if I am still looking to post your favorite photos and the stories behind them, as I did earlier this year.

Yes, I am.

No one has sent me anything recently, so that is why I have not posted anything. That being said, my open invitation to post your favorite photo along with the story behind it and the reason it is your favorite photo still stands, so don't be shy, send me your fave foto.

Wearing Brahmin.

Linus Rosenauer, male model

Gender Blind

When I was preparing for the Saturday ham radio meeting, I thought that there was a possibility that a long-time acquaintance who is blind might be in attendance. She had attended that meeting in the past, so I wanted to be prepared in case she attended on Saturday. As it turned out, she did not attend.

But what if she did attend? She would likely recognize my voice, but would she receive any clues that I was a woman? Would she notice my long nails when we shook hands? Would she smell my perfume?

Someday, I will run into her as a woman and I will let you know what happens. In the meantime, I leave you with a wonderful story that Michelle sent me from the UK about identifying gender when you are blind.

Wearing Trina Turk. I love this dress and wish they had it in my size.

Linus Rosenauer, male model

T Awareness Week Starts Friday

Transgender Awareness Week (#TransWk) begins this Friday and ends next Friday, which is Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDOR).

TDOR is an annual event honoring the memory of those lives lost in acts of anti-transgender violence, whereas T Awareness Week is intended "to help raise the visibility of transgender and gender non-conforming people, and address the issues these communities face."

Doing my part, I took a half-step when I went to work as a woman on Halloween Eve. I am thinking about completing the step next week by admitting to my co-workers that I am indeed transgender. It will come as a surprise to some my co-workers, while others may already suspect that something is up, so I will only be confirming their suspicions.

Please tell me why I should do it and/or tell me why I should not.

Note that my job is not on the line; Human Resources, my boss and her boss already stated that they fully support me, so losing my job is not an issue.

I really appreciate your thoughts on this matter.

Wearing BB Dakota.

Landon Patterson, homecoming queen,
Oak Park High School, Kansas City, MO

A Connection

Whenever I encounter a transition story, I read it to see if there are any similarities between the subject transwoman and me.

Sure, our basic stories are usually similar ― she started out as a male with strong female inclinations, was bullied as a child, was confused, considered manning-up, yadda yadda yadda. But as they say, "there is no typical experience for people making the transition." Our stories are so different that I cannot make connection, that is, I cannot find anyone with an experience like mine so I can see how they navigated through the rough seas.

On Monday, Diana posted a link on her blog to a story about a transitioning CEO in Vermont named Christine Hallquist. The story starts off with Christine showing up at the office one day presenting as a male and then showing up the next day at a professional conference presenting as a woman, where she is fully accepted by her peers.

(Sound familiar? Reminds me of my trips to Hamvention, where I came out and was accepted by my fellow hams.)

And there's more.

Christine Conferencing

Before Christine came out at work, she had a photo of herself presenting as a woman in plain sight on her desk. "I thought, 'I'll use this as the vehicle to come out,'" she said. "But nobody ever asked who it was."

(Similarly, for over three years, I have had a framed photo of Stana on my desk at work in plain sight and nobody has ever mentioned it.)

There are other similarities, as well as differences between Christine and me. Nevertheless, I felt more of a connection with her than most transwomen I know.

Wearing Boston Proper.

Barney Rubble and Fred Flintstone, prehistoric femulators

why I am girly

My mother had a miscarriage before she had me.

Back then, physicians prescribed Diethylstilbestrol (DES) to prevent miscarriages in women who had had previous miscarriages.

Did my mother take DES? She is deceased, so I will never know. But, if she did take DES, then that may explain why I am the way I am.

DES can cause feminization of the male fetus and some studies suggest that otherwise-male children exposed to DES before birth may be more likely to be transsexual women than otherwise-male children who have not been exposed.

Although I will never know if my mother took DES, there are other indications that she did. For example, I have Gynecomastia and although the causes of common Gynecomastia remain uncertain, it has generally been attributed to an imbalance of sex hormones, that is, too much estrogen.

In addition to Gynecomastia, I am more womanly than the average guy in other ways. For example, my mannerisms and speech patterns have feminine traits and my emotions are more feminine than masculine.

A few years ago, I was doing outreach with three transsexuals at a local college and a student asked how the transsexuals' hormone regimen affected them. All three transsexuals admitted that they became more emotional after they began their hormone regimen, for example, one stated that she never cried at movies before taking hormones, but after taking hormones, she cried at movies all the time. I spoke up that I never took hormones and that I cry at movies all the time!

An overabundance of female hormones may be the cause of my proclivity for the feminine. And as I wrote here on Friday, my parents may have nurtured that proclivity.

Repeating what I wrote here, "Dad was absent in my early life working two jobs to support his wife and kids. Mom cherished her firstborn child (me), coddled and pampered me, and instilled in me many traits that were considered 'feminine.' With Dad absent early-on, Mom was all I had to model myself after and that I did, which just compounded my feminization."

I had two strikes against me (too many female hormones and too little male role modeling) and when my third opportunity to swing came, I just stood there with the bat on my shoulder and was called out (of the male gender) on a called third strike.

I did not bother swinging because I liked myself. I was very satisfied with the results of the first two strikes. I liked the way things were turning out. I did not mind being a girly boy.

Except for some abuse from the macho boys and rejection by their female followers, being a girly boy was a pretty good deal. I could partake in whatever boy or girl pursuits interested me and not have to worry about tarnishing my image.

And when I took up the male pursuit of female impersonation, I found that I excelled at it because I already spoke and acted like a lady, I took to the art of cosmetics like a swan takes to water, and I could nearly fill a bra without any padding.

And so it goes.

(This post originally appeared in September 2009.)

Wearing Nichole Miller.

Actor Alec Mapa femulates in a 1997 episode of television's NYPD Blue. 

Big Day Out

Saturday, I spoke at a meeting of the operators of a ham radio network that covers the Northeast. As I wrote here Thursday, this would be different than when I attend and staff a booth at the ham radio convention (Hamvention) in Dayton, Ohio.

“I have some anonymity at the convention. I appear to be just another middle-aged woman attending the convention. Only if a civilian examines my name badge, recognizes my call sign, and then puts two and two together, do they realize that I am not the ham I used to be.”

Saturday, “I will not be anonymous at the meeting. My name and call sign will be announced before I speak…”

Knowing hams, I assumed that the attendees would be dressed in weekend casual garb. Since I was representing and evangelizing the ham radio group in which I am the secretary, board member and newsletter editor, I wanted to make a good impression, so I dressed a little better than weekend casual.

I wore the new zip front dress I bought at Dress Barn last week and accessorized with an animal print scarf from Avon, nude high heel pumps from Payless, a gold retro style watch from Avon and a pair of vintage retro style gold earrings. (The accompanying photo is how I looked before I left home for the meeting.) And I was correct — all the attendees wore weekend casual garb — one fellow even wore sweats.

I arrived at the meeting site, American Red Cross Headquarters in Farmington, Connecticut, ten minutes before the start of the meeting at 9 AM. There were four or five attendees already in the meeting room. In all, 14 attended myself included, ranging in age from mid-30s to the mid-70s. There was one other woman; she also was a ham and the wife of one of the other attendees.

I introduced myself and everyone was polite to the stranger (me). But no one engaged me in conversation. My guess is that they did not put two and two together and had no idea who I was.

About an hour into the meeting, I gave my 15-minute presentation. When I was done, some of the attendees were no longer polite — they now knew who I was and talked ham radio topics with me.

The fellow sitting next to me, who had ignored me up to that point, began talking to me like we were old friends. It turned out that we were old acquaintances. I recognized his call sign and realized that we had conversed over the airwaves using Morse code a number of times over 30 years ago!

When I left, the attendees thanked me for coming to their meeting and really seemed pleased that I had come.

I don’t think it could have gone any better. I never mentioned that I was transgender and everyone seemed to accept me as I appeared. No one confronted me about my past history as a male.

The only bad thing is that I completely forgot to take photos at the meeting!

I promised my wife that I would buy some groceries after the meeting and a Stop & Shop is on my way home.

Since I was on a roll, I decided to go grocery shopping as a woman instead of driving home, changing into boy mode and driving back to Stop & Shop. I hesitated momentarily because I was overdressed for grocery shopping, but I decided to throw caution to the wind and went grocery shopping anyway.

During 15 minutes of shopping, I noticed three or four guys checking me out, but no one else paid much attention to me until I queued up to check out. After I emptied my shopping cart onto the conveyor belt, I noticed the woman ahead of me look down at my shoes. Then she looked at me and remarked, “You are a brave woman to wear those heels to go grocery shopping!”

I didn’t know what to say, so I just smiled at her. She didn’t know it, but she just made my great day that much greater.

Still on a roll, after I loaded the groceries into my car, I drove to the Stop & Shop gasoline station and pumped gas in my pumps.

Nadia

TGIF (TransGenders, It's Friday!)

This day's post is a little late because I am a little behind. And if anything gives me away, it's my flat little behind.

I thought about padding my posterior, but I have seen a few girls who have padded and in my opinion, it doesn't look real. The foam padding provides the correct shape, but it does not move like a real behind. Rather, it looks stiff ― just like foam padding!

Awhile ago, I found instructions on the Internet for enhancing your rear by using a pair of pantyhose to lift and shape your rear. The results looked good and since no padding was involved, the enhanced butt probably moves naturally, too. Sadly, I lost the instructions and Google cannot recover them for me.

If anyone has a clue where those instructions reside, please let me know. Also, I would love to hear your experiences femulating your posterior.

Meanwhile, have a great weekend!

Asian Desert and her girlfriend.

Further Out There

Depending on how closely you read this blog, you may or may not know that I am a "famous" author in the ham radio world who attends the world's largest annual ham radio convention every spring in Dayton, Ohio. And for the past 6 years, I have attended the convention as a woman.

I have some anonymity at the convention. I appear to be just another middle-aged woman attending the convention. Only if a civilian examines my name badge, recognizes my call sign, and then puts two and two together, do they realize that I am not the ham I used to be.

Recently, I was invited to attend and speak at a meeting of the operators of a ham radio network that covers the Northeast. I will not be anonymous at the meeting. My name and call sign will be announced before I speak and I can see the jaws dropping already!

The meeting is this Saturday and I admit to you that I am a little nervous about it.

Wearing Fashion to Figure.

Marie Sunshine.