Monday, October 19, 2015

Snow!

Sunday, I was moping around the house feeling sorry for myself because I was not going to Provincetown for Fantasia Fair.

l checked the time and it was high noon. If I had left for P-Town at 9 AM as I had for past Fantasia Fair trips, I figured that by now I would be off the Interstates and on the Cape working my way up Route 6 for the final hour of travel to Provincetown.

With visions of Commercial Street dancing in my head, I glanced out the window and noticed that it was snowing! I have never seen it snow this early in the fall before and it made me shiver thinking about walking around Provincetown in a skirt.

Last year, it rained almost every day during Fantasia Fair, but at least, it was not cold. The forecast for the next few days is for unseasonably cold weather. The temperature got down to 32 Saturday night and Sunday night is supposed to be colder. It will not be much different on the Cape, but it is expected to be more seasonable later this week.

The weather almost makes me glad I did not go to Fantasia Fair! Notice I wrote “almost.”



Source: MyHabit
Wearing Love...ady.


Lauralee
Lauralee's Halloween costume
We attended a play at a little theatre and my wife wore my work shirt, pants and company logo cap. Despite my height 6' 4" without heels, some people were unsure if I was man or woman. One older lady after sitting next to me for a bit blurted out "You're a man!" This outfit is a little over the top, but it's Halloween. Could have done a better job with the makeup, but didn't want the patrons wondering if I did this on a regular basis.

Friday, October 16, 2015

TGIF... not!

April Ashley
Ever notice how "TGIF" loses its luster when you are on vacation?

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Here is something from Media Matters to file away for future use when the next yahoo gets up on his or her soapbox about the bathroom issue: Texas experts debunk the transgender "Bathroom Predator" myth Ahead Of HERO Referendum.

Have gender identity/transgender public accommodations protections resulted in increased sexual assault or rape in women's restrooms? The answer is a resounding "No."

Read all about here.

∞ ∞ ∞

One of my first transgender heroines was April Ashley. Her first 15 minutes of fame occurred about the time I was trying to sort things out. Her story taught me that I was not gay, but rather that I was probably transsexual (a fact that I denied most of my life).

Anyway, on her recent 80th birthday, Ms. Ashley was given the Icon Award for her services to the LBGT community. A Liverpool Echo article about the award also mentions that Ms. Ashley had previously received an MBE from Prince Charles... something I did not know (yes, you do learn something new every day!)






Source: Ann Taylor
Wearing Ann Taylor.


Source: Rihanna
Rihanna's Liza Minelli 2013 Halloween costume

Two years ago, I was Liza. That was really fun. I deliver meals on wheels and we were encouraged to wear costumes, so I did. I had delivered to a particular older gent before, and he hadn't always made too much sense. He came to the door, looked at me, and said, "Well, you must be John Wayne!" I said in my best lady voice, "Yes, yes I am." He took his meal, I wished him a good day, and left.

I had scheduled things a little tight that day, with a doctor appointment in the early afternoon, so off I went. I can't describe how much fun I had with his nurses and office staff. It made my day, even a little better than winning the costume contest at the party that night.

Thursday, October 15, 2015

Throwback Thursday: No More Closets

I originally posted this on October 10, 2011. It was an important post for me and I am repeating it because there are readers here today who were not reading the blog four years ago and I thought that maybe they would enjoy reading it.  

October 2011
I was in the closet for a very long time.

Although my interests in feminine things go back to my earliest memories, I did not take up crossdressing until I was 12-years-old. But once I began, I crossdressed at every opportunity, typically whenever I found myself alone at home.

When I was 19, I reached my tipping point and had to let Stana out of the closet. So I dressed en femme on Halloween despite the fact that I had nowhere to go.

Unlike today, where there is a Halloween event everywhere you turn, back in the late-1970s, there was not much Halloween-wise for a young adult. I had not been invited to any Halloween parties (I didn't even know of any Halloween parties) and I was too young to go to any bar that might be celebrating Halloween. So, Mom let her "daughter" borrow the car and I visited some friends and relatives to "trick 'n' treat." (How desperate is that?)

Post-Halloween, I was back in the closet honing my femulating skills while waiting for next year's Halloween party invitations. I never went out en femme to trick 'n' treat again, but I did get a few party invitations over the years.

I always attended the parties dressed as a woman, not as a woman wearing a woman's costume. Invariably, some party-goer would wonder why I wasn't wearing a costume and I would explain to their astonishment that I was in costume. Post-Halloween, I would be back in the closet again, but at least I realized that all the practice in the closet was not for naught.

Online (via Compuserve's Genderline), I discovered and joined a local support group in the early 1980s. Now, I was able to get out of the house en femme on days besides the last day of months beginning with the letter O. I attended meetings once or twice per month, always dressing at home and driving to the meeting place 25 miles away.

On occasion, the support group sponsored outings --- usually dinners at local restaurants, which sheltered us in a private room so we would not to mix with their "normal" clientele. I always attended, but being a rebel, I made a point of using the public ladies' restroom instead of the private restroom that had been assigned to us.

I wanted more and began attending trans conventions, which gave me the opportunity to have the run of a whole hotel for a long weekend en femme.

But I realized that I was still in the closet. I just had more closet-space: in my home, in my support group's meeting places, and in trans convention hotels.

I still wanted more, so I became a little more adventurous. On my way to support group meetings, I would stop off to buy a refreshment at a convenience store or fast food joint. Amazingly, no one seemed to notice or care that I was en femme. I was passing or at least, I was accepted and that emboldened me to do more.

It took 55 years, but I finally summoned up enough courage to go out in public en femme. I decided to make that leap by going to the mall. I dressed en femme, drove to the mall, arrived just as it opened, and sat in my car for a half-hour trying to muster the courage to exit the car and walk across the parking lot to the mall entrance.

I finally pushed myself and did it and I spent the better part of day at the mall having the time of my life. Some people read me, but it was not the end of the world, and once I got a taste of the world en femme, I wanted more.

Subsequently, I picked my days and spent them en femme, shopping, dining, being entertained, enjoying the arts, etc., etc., and I loved it, doing what other women did when they were out.

It all felt so natural to me. I was always feminine. As I have written here before, I was not a female trapped in a male body, rather I was me trapped by society's expectations of what a male was supposed to be. The "problem" was that I preferred to fulfill society's expectations of what a woman was supposed to be.

Finally, I realized I was a woman, who happened to have a male body, but I was not going to let that little handicap hinder me from being the best woman I could be.



Source: ShopBop
Wearing EDUN.


Julie Shaw
Julie Shaw's all-time fave Halloween costume

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Guy in Dress Vs. Femme Fatale

How many femulators does it take to change a lightbulb?

Three: one to climb the ladder to change the lightbulb, one to hold the ladder and one to take photos of the event.

In addition to our handbags, scarves, hats, belts, jewelry, etc., our cameras are another accessory that many of us would not leave home without.

As a woman, I take photos at the drop of a hat, as well as when I pick up the hat and when I put the hat back on my head. I am a little embarrassed to say that I have over 6,700 digital photos of myself and probably another 500 film and Polaroid photos.

When I ask someone to take my photo, my excuse is that I need photos to "feed my blog," but that is only partly true. The primary reason that I take photos is to see how I look as a woman. Does my ensemble work today or did I make a fashion faux pas? Do I look like a guy in a dress today or do I look like a femme fatale?

There are ways to look more like the latter and less like the former. Two articles just came over the  mojo wire that are right on topic.

Makeup Mistakes You’re Making in Photos—and How to Fix Them (from Daily Makeover)

The Worst Poses to Strike in Photos (And How to Make Them Better) (from Who What Wear)

So watch the birdie and smile pretty!



Source: Who What Wear
Wearing Sandro.


Patty O'
Patty O's 2011 assistant principal Halloween costume


Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Fantasia Fair's Downside

I will not attend Fantasia Fair this year. I will miss the sights and sounds of Provincetown and I will miss my friends who will be attending next week. But there is a downside to attending Fantasia Fair that I will not miss, as described in this excerpt from my book, Fantasia Fair Diaries.

Home town, not Provincetown
Will I attend future Fantasia Fairs?

As my euphoria peaked at the end of the week, I told anyone who asked that I would be back next year and that I would begin saving money for the trip on Monday to make next year’s trip possible.

After the banquet Saturday night, I began reconsidering my return next year or any year.

The civilians in Provincetown are aware that the circus is in town, which makes it impossible to pass. Every tall woman is a potential man, so the civilians check out every tall girl to see if that is the case.

I never experienced anything untoward in Provincetown, but being a very tall girl, I soon became annoyed by the inspection that I (and all the other tall girls) had to undergo every time we walked outside.

If you are a closeted femulator and want to get out of the closet in a safe way, I highly recommend Fantasia Fair to you, but I don’t need that. I could take the money I saved to bankroll a trip to Fantasia Fair and have a wonderful time shopping for a new wardrobe in the malls and outlet stores of Connecticut.

Sure some people might gawk at me as I shopped, but most would not because (1) they would not be alerted beforehand that a crossdresser may be in their midst and (2) I often pass and do not attract attention to myself in a bad way, that is, in a way that gives away my birth gender.

I had a wonderful time at Fantasia Fair and I am sure I would have a good time if I attended again...

Maybe next year!



Source: ShopBop
Wearing Alice + Olivia.


Source: Barbra Ann Taylor
Barbra Ann Taylor's 2013 working girl Halloween costume.
"When I dress for Halloween at work, I try to blend in. Some of the customers did not realize who or what I was."

Saturday, October 10, 2015

More Southern Southern Comfort Conference

Sheila's Southern Comfort Conference Selfie
Long-time Femulate reader and regular commenter, Sheila, also is a regular attendee of the Southern Comfort Conference (SCC). With the change of venues from Atlanta to Fort Lauderdale, I was curious about this year's conference and out of the blue, Sheila sent me her impressions on this year's SCC.

I prefer the new venue in the Fort Lauderdale area. A logical reason for this is that since I live in Tampa, the drive is about half the drive time and much less stressful than driving north to Atlanta. The resort hotel and spa was originally a Grand Hyatt which is, I believe, the highest level of Hyatt hotels. So, it was quite nice. In fact, my room had a bidet as well as a toilet. When I first saw it, I was pretty sure it was not a drinking fountain.I had never actually seen one in person before. Although I did not use it, I did check out a couple of YouTube videos on how to use it.

The main building is quite large, although just one story tall. It has all of the restaurants, lounges, meeting rooms, banquet halls, the business center with desktop computers and printers, and other convention facilities. As you might guess, bring a Grand Hyatt, everything is very, very nice. There are two swimming pools. One is the main swimming pool and the other is a private swimming pool just for spa members. Apparently, the property is adjacent to a golf course. There are approximately eight or nine four-story buildings that contain all of the guestrooms. The rooms and suites are large and gorgeous.

The hotel property is approximately 10 to 15 miles west of Fort Lauderdale proper. It's close to the largest outlet mall in the United States. I did not go to the mall; it's name is Sawgrass Mills.

Jazz Jennings, a 15 year-old transgirl was there with her parents and older twin brothers. They are featured in the TLC television series "I am Jazz." She is adorable, gorgeous, and mature beyond her years. Her family is fantastic and supremely supportive.

Jazz spoke at one of the banquet meals. She sold 50 copies of her book (intended to teach children and teens about transgender people). They sold for a very reasonable $15 and she autographed each book and also took photos with each buyer. All proceeds from the sale of the book go towards Jazz's foundation to help transgender children.

The attendance was higher than last year's SCC in Atlanta. I don't know what the numbers are, though. A totally uninformed estimate on my part is somewhere between 600 and 800 attendees (at least for Friday and Saturday).

All in all, this year's SCC was excellent! I had a marvelous time. It was lovely being a woman full-time for three days.

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Don't forget, as Halloween approaches, show us what you wore for our favorite holiday recently. Send me your costume photo and I will feature it in the Femulator slot below.

Meanwhile, have a great weekend.


Source: Elle
New York City street style, Fall 2015


Source: Andee
Andee's showgirl 2002 Halloween costume

Friday, October 9, 2015

Life in the Femme Lane


Skimming some of my 5-year-old blog posts, I noticed the names of the folks who left comments in 2010 and realized that most regular commenters from back then no longer left comments and have not done so in a long time.

That got me curious, so I skimmed even older blog posts and found the same thing  after awhile regular commenters stop commenting.

Why's that?

My guess is that they outgrew the blog; they no longer needed the "pearls of wisdom" I had to offer because they were out and about discovering for themselves about living life in the femme lane.

I can only hope that my blog posts helped them get out and about.


Source: Rent the Runway
Wearing Chloe.


Source: Michelle
Michelle at work, Halloween 2013

I (we) of course don't need Halloween as an excuse to be out dressed anymore, not for a long time, but there does seem to be something special about going in to your place of business, isn't there? I suppose it's because co-workers, friends and acquaintances are seeing you as a woman, even (or maybe especially so) if you're not out.  Michelle

Thursday, October 8, 2015

First, the Bad News


First, the bad news: For personal reasons, I will not attend Fantasia Fair.

Now for the good news: There is no more news!


Source: Avon
Wearing Avon.


Deerhunter, a rock band
Deerhunter, a rock band


Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Costumes You Probably Can't Wear To The Office

Following up on Monday's post "Chic Costumes You Can Wear To The Office," PopSugar proffers 37 "iconic" Halloween costumes

Whereas all the costumes mentioned here Monday could be worn to the office on Friday, the day before Halloween, many of today's suggestions are over the top. Depending on the culture of your workplace, they should only be donned for Halloween parties, although a few, like the Cher Horowitz costume pictured left, could work in the office, too.

As Halloween approaches, show us what you wore for our favorite holiday recently. Send me your costume photo and I will feature it in the Femulator slot below. To start things off, check out what I wore to the office last Halloween.

Boo!




My 2014 Working Girl Halloween costume.