Packing

Packing for Fantasia Fair is always a crap shoot. Over-packing is usually the result. The following excerpt from my book Fantasia Fair Diaries describes that dilemma facing a fashionista packing for a week in Provincetown.   

All I need cosmetics-wise (vs. all I over-packed!)

It was a dark and stormy night.

Actually, it was a dark and stormy week… at least the meat of Fantasia Fair week. Tuesday through Friday, a Nor’easter blew through Provincetown — not the best weather for strolling around town, but that did not stop the girls from getting out and strutting their stuff up and down Commercial Street.

I was prepared bringing an umbrella and three types of outerwear to keep me warm and dry throughout the week. I probably could have gotten by with just two types of outerwear because I only wore my black sweater coat once. Most evenings, I wore my white fake fur jacket and most days, I wore my blue trench coat.

The trench coat got rave reviews. My B&B owner, Chris, loved the coat and I received unsolicited comments about it (“nice blue”) from strangers while walking around town.

Over-packing, I brought the following items that I never wore: two sweaters, two tunics, one blouse, one corset, one pair of leggings, one pair of shoes and way too much jewelry. I also brought too much makeup and too many boxes of stick-on nails; the set of nails I stuck on Sunday afternoon survived the whole week. I relied on my iPhone for photos, so my Canon camera, its charger, tripod, and computer cable could have stayed home.

On the other hand, I left my light-up makeup mirror at home and missed it, but managed to survive using the mirror and lighting in my bathroom.

My schedule was very full because there were a lot of things that interested me at Fantasia Fair this year and I tried to take in as much as I could. About half the things were at the Boatslip Resort, which was a half mile from my B&B. The other half was at The Crown & Anchor, which was two blocks from my B&B.

For things at the Boatslip, I carried my heels and wore my 1-1/2-inch Payless wedges for walking and switched to my heels at the thing. For things closer to my B&B, I wore my nude or black patent Payless heels and carried my wedges just in case.

That shoe strategy worked for me most of the time. The only just-in-case times occurred after a couple of particularly busy days walking up and down Commercial Street — my feet could not even stand the short two block walk in heels back to my B&B.

Wearing Boston Proper.

Actor Zach Braff in television's My Summer as a Girl (1994).

Sista Girls

Shem, a Sista Girl photographed by Bindi Cole

About 35 miles north of Darwin, Australia, are the Tiwi Islands. The islands have a population of approximately 2,000 people, 50 of whom are "Sista Girls," who are born men, but develop female identities at a young age.

On the islands, Sista Girls or Yimpininni, their traditional name, are considered women. They are called "Aunty" or "Sister" by most family members and often start wearing girls’ clothes as early as kindergarten.

Despite this apparent acceptance, prejudice is still a painful reality, suicide a common occurrence and for a Sista Girl the prospect of finding a life partner is often daunting.

Australian contemporary artist Bindi Cole traveled to the Islands "to shoot the Sista Girls after previously photographing Tiwi Island drag performer Foxxy in 2008." In her work, "Cole explores aspects of indigenous identity and culture, and how that is reconciled with transgender identity with the influence of colonization."

(Sources: Nellie Castan Gallery and Wikipedia. Also thanks to Aunty Marlena for the heads-up about the Sista Girls.)

Wearing Escada.

Nadia Russo

How could she not know?

Today is my deceased mother's birthday and I have been thinking about our relationship over the years. And it embarrasses me to think that I thought I successfully hid being transgender from her.

How could she not know?

She saw me crossdressed for Halloween not once, but on three or four occasions.

She saw me act like a girl rather than a boy on many occasions.

Crossdressing with her wardrobe, I tore some things and stretched out other things. I borrowed a few items that she would have discovered were missing for weeks.

There were other clues, but she never said a word to me about it.

Maybe she was confused as much as I was. After all, it was not the "Call Me Caitlyn" era. Rather, it was the mid-20th Century, when crossdressing was still a big unknown. 

One time in her later years, she slipped and said something that indicated that she knew about my stash of female finery that I kept hidden (or so I thought) when I still lived at home. 

Also in her later years, she would often ask, "Is there anything you want to tell me?" which I assume was her attempt to give me an opportunity to talk about it.

Maybe she became more informed in her later years and was open to accepting me as transgender as long as I was comfortable coming out to her. But to tell you the truth, I did not realize that was what she was trying to do until years after she had died.  

Sometimes, I can be so obtuse!

Coming out to her might have made it easier to come out to everyone else. And sooner rather than later.

Too late for that. But it's never too late to say, "I love you, Mom!"

Wearing Go Couture.

Transgender waitress shares patron’s ‘stellar’ parenting moment... yadda, yadda, yadda

This story bothered me ever since I read it.

In a nutshell, a male-to-female transgender waitress was waiting on a family composed of a father, mother and young daughter. While the waitress was away from the table, the husband approached her and said, "My daughter just asked if you were a boy or a girl. I didn't want to speak for you so would you like to talk to her?" The waitress nervously agreed, went to the family's table and gave the daughter a little transgender education.

How does this qualify as a "stellar" parenting moment?

To go up to a stranger, assume that the stranger is transgender and ask the stranger to explain herself!

Rather than calling it a "stellar" parenting moment, I'd call it the height of rudeness.

Instead of putting the waitress on the spot, the father should have did his own parenting and told his daughter that the waitress may be a girl or may be a boy, but it was nobody's business except the waitress' business. Now that would have been a "stellar" parenting moment.

Instead, the story went viral and every civilian that knows about it thinks they have carte blanche to go up to anyone they suspect is transgender and interrogate them about being trans!

Street style during fall fashion week in New York City, 2015.

Man and wife femulating and masculating, respectively, on Halloween.

What's not to like?

Wearing ISSA.

Trivial John.

Out Among the Civilians

Dear Stana,

When femulating out among the civilians, what are important things to keep in mind?

Jan


Hi Jan,

When I started femulating in public, I was afraid that people would recognize me as a crossdresser. As a result, I looked and acted as if I had something to hide; I walked with my head down, looked away quickly if I saw someone looking at me, and I avoided encounters with teenagers, with males, with anybody!

People who noticed, might wonder why I was acting as if I had something to hide and when they looked closer, they might figure out why ― because I was a guy crossdressing in public.

I was outing myself!

Once I figured out the error of my ways, I was determined not to out myself again. Since then, I have followed three rules that have helped me achieve that goal:

1.  Act as if you belong, so walk tall and strut your stuff.

2.  Don't look away furtively if other people look at you. Do the opposite: look back at them and disarm them with a smile.

3.  You are a beautiful woman and you should be happy about it, so smile, smile, smile.

Best Wishes,

Stana


Do you need advice concerning femulation or other crossdressing-related matters, then e-mail me and I will happily give you my opinion on the matter. My e-mail address is stana-stana at sbcglobal.net.

Wearing Alice + Olivia.

Student femulators embracing Gender Switch Day.

Dear Stana, Why is it so?

Dear Stana,

Regarding your advice on how to wear garter belts, you recommended wearing your panties over your garter belt, but I have seen pictures of girls wearing the garter belts over the panties and not under. Why is it so?

Susan


Hi Susan,

You see photos of girls wearing garter belts over their panties because it looks nicer; it looks sexier.

As a practical matter, wearing your panties over your garters makes it much easier to use the bathroom (or do anything else requiring panty removal). Just slip off your panties and voila, your private parts are free.

If you wear your panties under your garters, first you have to unclasp each garter (that's four or six clasps to undo) and then you can slip off your panties. Also, you will have to reclasp four or six garters after you slip your panties on again.

Best Wishes,

Stana


Do you need advice concerning femulation or other crossdressing-related matters, then e-mail me and I will happily give you my opinion on the matter. My e-mail address is stana-stana at sbcglobal.net.

Wearing 148 Lafayette New York.

Actor Peter Outerbridge femulating in the Canadian film Better Than Chocolate (1999).

Funk

I have been in a funk lately, but I think I am finally getting over it.

∞ ∞ ∞

Monday I received an e-mail from Avon wishing me "Happy Avon-iversary!" I have been an Avon lady for 19 years!

∞ ∞ ∞

I just added Better Than Chocolate to my Netflix queue. It is a film I have intended to see for a long time, but just now discovered it was available on Netflix.

If you haven't seen the film, I recommend that you view this sample, which is probably the highlight of the film transgender-wise.

∞ ∞ ∞

Writing about Drag magazine yesterday, I recalled that it was very expensive when I bought it back in the early 1970s. The $2 cover price seems to indicate otherwise, but when you take inflation into account, that $2 1970 price tag would inflate to $12.50 today!

To put things in perspective, in 1970 those $99 high heel pumps from Nine West cost $16, that $60 frock from Dress Barn cost $10 and a $1.75 cup of joe from Starbucks cost 28¢.

So how come the past tense of cost isn't "costed"?

Wearing Ida Noe.

Femulating on British television's 'Allo 'Allo! circa 1987.

Desperate

I never watched The Monkees.

I liked their music, but their television show was too juvenile for me. So when I researched the matter, I was surprised to find that all four Monkees dressed en femme on the program at one time or another. In fact, Mickey Dolenz and Davy Jones donned lady's apparel more than once. (This and the previous three installments of Femulate feature the four Monkees in the Femulator spotlight.)

If I had known that, I probably would have tuned in once in awhile because I was desperate for anything related to crossdressing. Back then, there was next to nothing. One line in our family's encyclopedia was all I could find.

On a trip to New York City circa 1970, I saw Drag magazine on the newsstands. I so wanted to purchase a copy, but I hesitated because I went to The City with one of my friends and I did not want him to know about my penchant for female finery.

Finally, after seeing the magazine on numerous Manhattan newsstands that day, I could not resist any longer. I quickly grabbed a copy off the newsstand and handed it to the dealer, who gave me a dirty look and deposited my purchase in a brown paper bag. I quickly stuck the brown paper bag into a shopping bag full of other stuff I had bought that day .

My friend saw the whole thing and asked me what I bought. I said, "Nothing" and he did not pursue the matter. Maybe he was putting two and two together, recalling my Halloween visit to his home a year or two earlier when I went out dressed en femme for the first time.

I lost touch with my friend, but someday I would like him to meet Stana and explain myself.

Wearing Ted Baker.

Peter Tork femulates in an episode of television's The Monkees (1966-1968).

What Will Men Wear When Women Wear Trousers? ― An Update

Back in 2010, I wrote a three-part series dealing with the feminization of men from the beginning of the 20th Century through the first decade of the 21st Century. I concluded that male feminization will continue unabated through this century “if the changes in society continue on their current path.”

Five years later, there has been no change in that “current path.” Females continue to break through the glass ceiling and gain more power in both the public and private sectors of society and in its place is a new glass ceiling that is confronting the males who do not have the education to compete with females.

More often than not, males in the workplace are now stuck with the jobs shunned by the better educated females, that is, menial and/or labor intensive work. Or they will become househusbands doing the cooking, cleaning, and child-rearing, while their female spouses bring home the bacon.

As I wrote in 2010, as this change continues, “females will probably dress the same as they do today, that is, they will wear some kind of bifurcated clothing most of the time, but they will have the option to wear a skirt or a dress whenever they feel like it.”

On the other hand, boys will become more dependent on women and will "dress to please and attract a female mate, that is, they will dress to expose and show off their physical assets, which they can best accomplish by wearing tight, revealing, skimpy, and sexy styles of clothing, similar to what females wore when they were in the same position.” 

Back in 2010, commenters dismissed my predictions and equated them to gender role reversal science fiction. But five years later, I believe my predictions still have a lot of merit because nothing has occurred to reverse the trends of the last 100 years as today's 20-something females are leaving their male counterparts in the dust. 

Whether men continue to become the new women or not, I refer you to what I consider a bellwether of the feminization of mens' fashions: Juan’s blog, The New Male Fashions for the Alternative Man, which closely follows current trends on the cutting edge of male fashions. 

This past week, Juan’s blog featured some of the most feminine menswear yet including the four sample above from the Spring 2016 menswear collection from Goddess. (Yes, that is a male model modeling menswear.) Admittedly, these fashions are not mainstream… yet, but may be an indication of things to come. Men may or may not become the new women in our society, but they may be dressing like women real soon now.

Wearing Madeleine.

Mickey Dolenz femulates in an episode of television's The Monkees (1966-1968).

Go Empire!

This is the conclusion of a weeklong episode of The Meaning of Lila comic strip and its man-in-dress sub-plot. The episode begins here.

All Play and No Work Makes Jack a Dull Girl

Lavern Cummings

I received an e-mail from Carollyn in response to my "who would I want to femulate?" post. She picked female impersonator Lavern Cummings as the woman she would femulate.

Carollynn wrote, "She was amazing and an icon among the female impersonators. I could never imagine, when I was a teen, how beautiful a man could be when dressed as a woman... and what a performer too."

I was similarly amazed as a pre-teen when I first saw photos of the female impersonators (in newspaper ads for New York City's Club 82). Today, having achieved a somewhat passable female presentation myself, I am less amazed. It is just a lot of hard work.

Just like anything else, if you want to achieve something, you have to work at it. To be a successful femulator, just putting on a dress and lipstick will not cut it. You have to study the subject thoroughly, practice what you have learned in your studies, then go back and study some more.

Just like a woman, you have to become an expert in cosmetics, fashions, hair care, etc. You have to follow fashion trends and read fashion magazines.

In addition, as a man trying to be a woman, you have to become an expert in impersonating a woman and learn all the tricks on how to hide the guy and bring out the gal. And once you achieve the look of a woman, you have to learn how to act, walk, move, speak and have mannerisms like a woman. And you have to practice, practice and practice some more.

I am sure that Miss Cummings did not become a femme fatale overnight ― she had to work at it.

And yes, it's a lot of hard work. But the first time a woman compliments you on the way you look or when a man makes a pass at you, you will feel wonderful beyond compare and know it was worth it.

Wearing Boston Proper.

Michael Nesmith femulates in an episode of television's The Monkees (1966-1968).