Out Among the Civilians

Dear Stana,

When femulating out among the civilians, what are important things to keep in mind?

Jan


Hi Jan,

When I started femulating in public, I was afraid that people would recognize me as a crossdresser. As a result, I looked and acted as if I had something to hide; I walked with my head down, looked away quickly if I saw someone looking at me, and I avoided encounters with teenagers, with males, with anybody!

People who noticed, might wonder why I was acting as if I had something to hide and when they looked closer, they might figure out why ― because I was a guy crossdressing in public.

I was outing myself!

Once I figured out the error of my ways, I was determined not to out myself again. Since then, I have followed three rules that have helped me achieve that goal:

1.  Act as if you belong, so walk tall and strut your stuff.

2.  Don't look away furtively if other people look at you. Do the opposite: look back at them and disarm them with a smile.

3.  You are a beautiful woman and you should be happy about it, so smile, smile, smile.

Best Wishes,

Stana


Do you need advice concerning femulation or other crossdressing-related matters, then e-mail me and I will happily give you my opinion on the matter. My e-mail address is stana-stana at sbcglobal.net.

Wearing Alice + Olivia.

Student femulators embracing Gender Switch Day.

Dear Stana, Why is it so?

Dear Stana,

Regarding your advice on how to wear garter belts, you recommended wearing your panties over your garter belt, but I have seen pictures of girls wearing the garter belts over the panties and not under. Why is it so?

Susan


Hi Susan,

You see photos of girls wearing garter belts over their panties because it looks nicer; it looks sexier.

As a practical matter, wearing your panties over your garters makes it much easier to use the bathroom (or do anything else requiring panty removal). Just slip off your panties and voila, your private parts are free.

If you wear your panties under your garters, first you have to unclasp each garter (that's four or six clasps to undo) and then you can slip off your panties. Also, you will have to reclasp four or six garters after you slip your panties on again.

Best Wishes,

Stana


Do you need advice concerning femulation or other crossdressing-related matters, then e-mail me and I will happily give you my opinion on the matter. My e-mail address is stana-stana at sbcglobal.net.

Wearing 148 Lafayette New York.

Actor Peter Outerbridge femulating in the Canadian film Better Than Chocolate (1999).

Funk

I have been in a funk lately, but I think I am finally getting over it.

∞ ∞ ∞

Monday I received an e-mail from Avon wishing me "Happy Avon-iversary!" I have been an Avon lady for 19 years!

∞ ∞ ∞

I just added Better Than Chocolate to my Netflix queue. It is a film I have intended to see for a long time, but just now discovered it was available on Netflix.

If you haven't seen the film, I recommend that you view this sample, which is probably the highlight of the film transgender-wise.

∞ ∞ ∞

Writing about Drag magazine yesterday, I recalled that it was very expensive when I bought it back in the early 1970s. The $2 cover price seems to indicate otherwise, but when you take inflation into account, that $2 1970 price tag would inflate to $12.50 today!

To put things in perspective, in 1970 those $99 high heel pumps from Nine West cost $16, that $60 frock from Dress Barn cost $10 and a $1.75 cup of joe from Starbucks cost 28¢.

So how come the past tense of cost isn't "costed"?

Wearing Ida Noe.

Femulating on British television's 'Allo 'Allo! circa 1987.

Desperate

I never watched The Monkees.

I liked their music, but their television show was too juvenile for me. So when I researched the matter, I was surprised to find that all four Monkees dressed en femme on the program at one time or another. In fact, Mickey Dolenz and Davy Jones donned lady's apparel more than once. (This and the previous three installments of Femulate feature the four Monkees in the Femulator spotlight.)

If I had known that, I probably would have tuned in once in awhile because I was desperate for anything related to crossdressing. Back then, there was next to nothing. One line in our family's encyclopedia was all I could find.

On a trip to New York City circa 1970, I saw Drag magazine on the newsstands. I so wanted to purchase a copy, but I hesitated because I went to The City with one of my friends and I did not want him to know about my penchant for female finery.

Finally, after seeing the magazine on numerous Manhattan newsstands that day, I could not resist any longer. I quickly grabbed a copy off the newsstand and handed it to the dealer, who gave me a dirty look and deposited my purchase in a brown paper bag. I quickly stuck the brown paper bag into a shopping bag full of other stuff I had bought that day .

My friend saw the whole thing and asked me what I bought. I said, "Nothing" and he did not pursue the matter. Maybe he was putting two and two together, recalling my Halloween visit to his home a year or two earlier when I went out dressed en femme for the first time.

I lost touch with my friend, but someday I would like him to meet Stana and explain myself.

Wearing Ted Baker.

Peter Tork femulates in an episode of television's The Monkees (1966-1968).

What Will Men Wear When Women Wear Trousers? ― An Update

Back in 2010, I wrote a three-part series dealing with the feminization of men from the beginning of the 20th Century through the first decade of the 21st Century. I concluded that male feminization will continue unabated through this century “if the changes in society continue on their current path.”

Five years later, there has been no change in that “current path.” Females continue to break through the glass ceiling and gain more power in both the public and private sectors of society and in its place is a new glass ceiling that is confronting the males who do not have the education to compete with females.

More often than not, males in the workplace are now stuck with the jobs shunned by the better educated females, that is, menial and/or labor intensive work. Or they will become househusbands doing the cooking, cleaning, and child-rearing, while their female spouses bring home the bacon.

As I wrote in 2010, as this change continues, “females will probably dress the same as they do today, that is, they will wear some kind of bifurcated clothing most of the time, but they will have the option to wear a skirt or a dress whenever they feel like it.”

On the other hand, boys will become more dependent on women and will "dress to please and attract a female mate, that is, they will dress to expose and show off their physical assets, which they can best accomplish by wearing tight, revealing, skimpy, and sexy styles of clothing, similar to what females wore when they were in the same position.” 

Back in 2010, commenters dismissed my predictions and equated them to gender role reversal science fiction. But five years later, I believe my predictions still have a lot of merit because nothing has occurred to reverse the trends of the last 100 years as today's 20-something females are leaving their male counterparts in the dust. 

Whether men continue to become the new women or not, I refer you to what I consider a bellwether of the feminization of mens' fashions: Juan’s blog, The New Male Fashions for the Alternative Man, which closely follows current trends on the cutting edge of male fashions. 

This past week, Juan’s blog featured some of the most feminine menswear yet including the four sample above from the Spring 2016 menswear collection from Goddess. (Yes, that is a male model modeling menswear.) Admittedly, these fashions are not mainstream… yet, but may be an indication of things to come. Men may or may not become the new women in our society, but they may be dressing like women real soon now.

Wearing Madeleine.

Mickey Dolenz femulates in an episode of television's The Monkees (1966-1968).

Go Empire!

This is the conclusion of a weeklong episode of The Meaning of Lila comic strip and its man-in-dress sub-plot. The episode begins here.

All Play and No Work Makes Jack a Dull Girl

Lavern Cummings

I received an e-mail from Carollyn in response to my "who would I want to femulate?" post. She picked female impersonator Lavern Cummings as the woman she would femulate.

Carollynn wrote, "She was amazing and an icon among the female impersonators. I could never imagine, when I was a teen, how beautiful a man could be when dressed as a woman... and what a performer too."

I was similarly amazed as a pre-teen when I first saw photos of the female impersonators (in newspaper ads for New York City's Club 82). Today, having achieved a somewhat passable female presentation myself, I am less amazed. It is just a lot of hard work.

Just like anything else, if you want to achieve something, you have to work at it. To be a successful femulator, just putting on a dress and lipstick will not cut it. You have to study the subject thoroughly, practice what you have learned in your studies, then go back and study some more.

Just like a woman, you have to become an expert in cosmetics, fashions, hair care, etc. You have to follow fashion trends and read fashion magazines.

In addition, as a man trying to be a woman, you have to become an expert in impersonating a woman and learn all the tricks on how to hide the guy and bring out the gal. And once you achieve the look of a woman, you have to learn how to act, walk, move, speak and have mannerisms like a woman. And you have to practice, practice and practice some more.

I am sure that Miss Cummings did not become a femme fatale overnight ― she had to work at it.

And yes, it's a lot of hard work. But the first time a woman compliments you on the way you look or when a man makes a pass at you, you will feel wonderful beyond compare and know it was worth it.

Wearing Boston Proper.

Michael Nesmith femulates in an episode of television's The Monkees (1966-1968).

My Expanding Wardrobe

Sans Bra

The four dresses I ordered from JustFab arrived and to my surprise, they all fit. They are all revealing more or less, so I will have to make sure I have bras in my wardrobe that will work with each dress. 

Otherwise, I will have to go bra-less.

∞ ∞ ∞

I went to Wally Mart yesterday to buy panties and camis. (I usually wear panties and camis under my male disguise.)

I bought two packages of each.

At home after work, I opened the packages of panties and to my dismay, they shorted me one pair of panties.

Next, I opened the packages of camis and to my surprise, there was an extra cami.

Even Stephanie!

∞ ∞ ∞

At home, there is next to no discussion about the other woman (me). My wife and daughter have accepted her and there is not much more to say. So it always surprises me when my wife or daughter broach the subject out of the blue.

My wife has been going through her dearly departed mother's stuff and last evening, she offered some of my mother-in-law's stuff to me. Three necklaces and a black cape.

I graciously accepted the offer and added the items to my wardrobe.

As I mentioned earlier, my mother-in-law was a fashionista and she spared no expense on her wardrobe, so the necklaces are not junk jewelry and the cape did not come from Wally Mart.
I can't wait to wear them.

Wearing Boston Proper.

Davy Jones femulates in an episode of television's The Monkees (1966-1968).

Mother and Daughter

My Mother's Daughter

Yesterday, I mentioned that Kim Kardashian is someone I would not want to femulate. That begs the
question, who would I want to femulate?

Over the years, there have been many.

Early on, Jacqueline Kennedy, Jean Shrimpton and April Ashley inspired me. Later on it was Jacqueline Bisset and Jaclyn Smith. Today, Elizabeth Banks, Kate Beckinsale and Olivia Wild are very femulatable. And old movie stars still inspire me today: Ann Sheridan, Hedy Lamarr, Dana Wynter and Janet Leigh to name a few.

Marian commented a short list of her favorites including actress Katherine Heigl.

It has been awhile since I watched a Katherine Heigl film, but over the weekend, I happened to catch two: Knocked Up and Killers. They reminded me how beautiful and voluptuous she is, which is atypical for actresses these days who tend to be anorexic thin.

Today, Katherine Heigl is probably near the top of my list of women I would want to femulate.

Then there is my mother.

A beautiful woman in many ways, she is easier to femulate than my other inspirations because I look a lot like her. If we were ever seen together, there would be no doubt that we were mother and daughter.

Wearing ISSA.

Actor Marty Thomas femulating on stage in Pageant - The Musical (2014).

Out On A Limb

I'll going out on a limb with this, but I don't think Kim Kardashian is so hot. In my opinion, she is not very pretty and far from beautiful. And by the way, I am not impressed by big rear ends.

I can think of hundreds of women, both male and female, who are prettier than Kim. She is certainly not someone I would want to femulate.

But that's me. Obviously, there are a lot of people who would disagree with my assessment including a New York transwoman who underwent tens of thousands of dollars worth of plastic surgery to look like Kardashian!

Each to her own!

Anyway, I leave you with this interesting video from Down Under where a four guys undergo professional makeovers to be pin-up models. Guess which one I liked the best?

Wearing Metrostyle.

Actor Adrian Pasdar in the 1992 British film Just Like A Woman.

December Surprise

Thank you all for the condolences regarding my mother-in-law’s death that you sent me in comments and e-mails. The past ten days were very stressful and tiring; your kind words brightened some very dark days.

My mother-in-law was a kind-hearted person and made a lot of sacrifices during her life to help strangers and relatives alike. She was very fashion-conscious and had a wardrobe that rivaled my own.

She was also very old school and did not approve of Stana. I never dressed en femme in her presence, so I don’t know what she thought I was doing when I crossdressed, but I learned through another relative that her son, my brother-in-law, convinced her that I was “mentally unstable.”

As a result, my feelings for my in-laws cooled after that. For my wife’s sake, I went along and acted as if I did not know anything, but it upset me. To alleviate the hurt, I hatched a plot where I would show at my in-law’s Christmas family get-together dressed to the nines.

I never carried out my plan in deference to my wife, but it made me smile whenever I thought about it.

Wearing Ann Taylor.

Alexandre Wetter, male womenswear model

Death in the Family

My mother-in-law died this morning, so new posts for this blog will be on an irregular schedule for awhile.