Wednesday, June 3, 2015

March 1962

Source: Rhonda Williama
Rhonda Williama

By Rhonda Williams


Today's post is written by regular Femulate reader and occasional Femulate contributor, Rhonda Williams.

March 1962, was a time when an important awakening occurred for me. Although born a boy and a very normal 14 year-old acting boy, I knew that deep inside me I was different. I loved my mother’s beautiful shoes. I preferred the company of girls at a time when most boys called them icky. I would go to bed at night thinking how wonderful it would be to wake up the next morning a girl. I loved the woman’s section of the Sears’ catalog and studied it at every opportunity. I remember, oh so well, the beautiful red dress my cousin wore one Sunday singing in the church choir. Oh, what I would have given to look like she did – maybe be her. Yes, different, but I did not know the depth or that my feeling had a name.

Why March 1962?

I ran with a little older group of boys from my neighborhood and they knew about a magazine called Sexology. It pretended to be scientific with doctors contributing scholarly articles about sex. Remember these were the dark ages of sex education so this addressed notions not talked about in polite company or any company.

As we passed Sexology around the car and read it, I had my life-informing moment. In an article Dr. Virginia Prince wrote entitled “166 Men in Dresses,” she wrote about her Transvestia magazine and transvestism, a term I had never heard of, much less associate myself. I was not even sure how to pronounce it, but saw myself there. A great weight was lifted. I was not the only one – there was this man called Virginia and me! I felt this inclination was so odd that I had to be the only person on the planet that felt this way.

There was no Internet, no on-line bulletin boards, no AOL and sex was barely mentioned. Certainly, the concept of a boy/man wanting to present as a woman could not be discussed or even hinted. The magazine Sexology was sold from under the counter and how my friends knew about it, I do not know. But, wow! And double Wow!

I went about the process of growing up knowing that transvestism or as we know it now, being transgender, would need to be dealt with, but, that came later.

So we have come a long way, baby. Caitlyn Jenner is on the front cover of the mainstream publication, Vanity Fair.

Thank you Virginia for opening the door of enlightenment for me. We are yet to see how the Caitlyn Jenner reality circus will play out, but I hope this will be an awakening for many, as was my 1962 moment.

Transgender now has a face. A tentative “Thank you, Caitlyn.”





Source: Madeleine
Wearing Madeleine





Watching SNL reruns on VH1, my transradar went off during a commercial for an upcoming VH1 show featuring a variety of rock performers. As the announcer rattled off the performers who will appear, short video clips of those performers appeared on the screen and I noticed that one of the performers, Ezra Furman, was wearing a dress.

Using Google, I discovered that Ezra is a rock performer who occasionally wears female attire. Google turned up photos of Ezra performing on stage in a dress and also pointed to a music video for his song "Restless Year," where he really gets femmed up. 

Here is the link to the video  I think you will enjoy it.

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Watch the Birdie!

Hey Stana,

Have you ever considered a segment on self-photography?  You do an awesome job!

Suz


I take photos of myself nearly every time I present as a woman. I do it for two reasons:
  • To feed this blog. (The blog is hungry for photos and it must be fed.)
  • To see if the outfit I am wearing is good, bad, or ugly. (Photos are more revealing than a mirror. What I see in the mirror often looks different in a photograph. Photographing my fashion faux pas allows me to make adjustments, for example, put on a girdle so I don’t look so fat.)
Self photography is an art. I probably discard 4 out of 5 of the self-photos I take because there is something technically wrong with them (usually related to focus, framing, lighting, or worse, because I look fat).

Lately, I have been using my iPhone 5 for most of my self-photography. The quality of the iPhone 5 photos is very good in my opinion (good enough for me) and it is hard to beat the convenience.

The only problem is that the Camera app bundled with the iPhone does not have a self-timer and girls like us can’t live without self-timers! So I obtained other camera apps (Top Camera and Camera+) that do include the self-timer function. The former costs $3, the latter $2. And to do a self-timed selfie right. I also bought a small tripod ($4) that is designed to hold the iPhone while I get ready for my close-up.

I also use  a Canon PowerShot SD940 IS digital camera. It is full-featured (including a self-timer), takes excellent photos, and I thought it was the cat's meow until I started taking photos with my iPhone. Comparing photos taken during the same photoshoot with the Canon and the iPhone, I'd say that the results compare favorably. However, since I always have the iPhone in my purse, it is my go-to camera.

That covers the hardware, but what about the software, that is, the model in my selfies?

I learned that my best photos are ones in which I smile.

Over the years, I have seen thousands of photos of transgirls and I can never understand why some girls look so unhappy in their photos. They are living their dream although sometimes only momentarily and they should be very happy about it, yet some of them look like they just downed a spoonful of castor oil!

So, smile and smile naturally, not in a forced manner. I used to have a forced smile in my photos, but I worked on it and now my smiles look natural and the results are much better!

I am also becoming more adept at posing for my photos.
  • I tilt my chin up slightly and extend my neck forward to avoid the double chin.
  • Instead of a straight-on shot, I turn my shoulders slightly to the left or right. And pose with one leg in front of the other, for example, by crossing my legs at the ankle.
  • With legs crossed, sometimes I will put one hand on my hip. This elbow jut pose results in a ladylike ballerina effect.
  • To accentuate my legs, I thrust one hip to the side, stretch out my opposing leg as far as it will go, and point my toes.
Taking selfies as you pose in a mirror is tricky.
  • For starters, shut off the flash, otherwise your selfie will be nothing but flash and that is not the result you want unless you are Barry Allen.
  • Take mirror selfies while looking at your reflection in the mirror rather than looking at the trigger button on your smart phone. This is simple with the iPhone, because you can shoot a photo by clicking one of the iPhone's volume buttons, which is a lot easier than trying to click the virtual trigger button on the iPhone's screen.
  • Before showing off your mirror selfies, use photo editing software to flip the image horizontally so that you look natural and not the opposite, which is what a mirror displays.
I am a work in progress and so is my self-photography, but practice, practice, practice and someday my photos will do justice to a complete woman.






Source: Boston Proper
Wearing Boston Proper






Comedian Darren Trumeter (right) in television's The Whitest Kids U' Know (circa 2010)

Monday, June 1, 2015

Making Water

"Transgender status has been all over the news lately. We (The National Law Review - ed.) have covered the various cases that have addressed transgender discrimination in lawsuits brought by the EEOC (Equal Employment Opportunity Commission - ed.) as well as individuals since late 2014."

"Now the Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) has decided to get in on the action by entering into an agreement with the National Center for Transgender Equality (NCTE) to 'provide NCTE affiliates and others with information and resources to help foster safer and more healthful American workplaces.' One of the primary focuses of the agreement is the question of restroom access for transgender workers."

Read the rest of the story from The National Law Review


Source: Dior
Wearing Dior







Singer Paul Dennis
Singer Paul Dennis femulating singer Karády Catherine Sztárban on Hungarian television.

Sunday, May 31, 2015

Catherine's Favorite Photos (of Catherine!)


Please allow me to present two of my favorite photos. They are both from a lovely time in my life when I was enjoying frequent forays into ‘woman-world.’

The photo of me wearing a green outfit was taken at a weekend gathering of like-minded souls where I had to be my femme self for two complete days. I always felt special in this outfit and wish I could still have now the same reasonable figure that I had then. The skirt is very close-fitting and restricted my movement. I always wore higher and more slender than normal heels on occasions like this, when I would enjoy tottering around in a delightfully feminine, delicate and controlled manner.

The other photo is taken at the Marble Arch end of Hyde Park, London. I am on holiday staying in a hotel on the south coast of the UK. I travelled there dressed, taking with me no boy clothes whatsoever; packing only skirts and dresses accompanied by high heels, handbags and lovely lingerie. I am not a lover of tights (pantyhose) and wore stockings and suspenders (garter stockings) every day ― total and complete joy.

This outfit was worn on day three when I was feeling more relaxed. I walked to the train station after breakfast and bought a ticket to London. I remember travelling all alone in the carriage and exited onto the platform in London where I was also completely alone. Nobody else was around. This felt quite strange as here I was in one of the largest and busiest cities in the world and during my journey there for the last two hours, I was dressed as a woman, but there was not a soul to notice me.

Eventually I was in the real world and mixing with other humans, some of who were dressed like I was! I took the tube to Oxford Street and shopped for a few hours. I walked into Hyde Park and I asked someone to take this photo of me. No problem at all. I shopped a bit more, had a bite to eat and dreamily walked around as the winter evening grew darker and in the dimmer light, I merged amongst the others hastily going on their way.

I enjoyed the same travel arrangements back to my hotel where, sitting on my bed, I wondered at how easily and without mishap I had managed such a beautiful and amazing day out overflowing with so many feminine experiences and thoughts.

The remaining five days continued like this and as the days away approached number eight, I was sad to be leaving woman world and heading back to those drab old boy clothes again.

It is somewhat daunting to wake up in a room far from home surrounded by everything feminine. Almost as if I had swapped room with a woman in the middle of the night and had no option but to get dressed in her things. No choice and no decision to be made ― I have to leave the room as a woman and go out for the whole day. Even if I decided that I was going to give it all up and go back to being a boring male, I had to get dressed as a woman, have breakfast, pack my things, pay my bill and then drive all the way home in a skirt, as a woman stopping on the way to use the ladies loos! This experience of having no choice in the matter and having to get on with being feminine is an amazing feeling. Almost a relief and a good way to relax, give in and let go. I think it made me not think too much and allowed the feminine within me to take over.

During my stay, I shopped every day, trying on many skirts and dresses. I bought several pairs of stockings; some makeup, a pair of shoes and browsed for England! I walked a fair bit, took in a couple of classical concerts, visited many local sights and enjoyed a fine meal or two. I lost count of the number of times I accompanied other women to the ladies toilets.

All in all the whole week was incredible and many is the time I look at this photo and re-live feeling so special in this outfit ― completely different but normal ― as a smart, feminine everyday woman.
Thanks for allowing me to share these thoughts. I hope they are of use to someone.

Catherine

Calling all girls! My open invitation to post your favorite photo along with the story behind it and the reason it is your favorite photo still stands, so don't be shy, send me your fave foto. ― Stana


Source: MyHabit
Wearing Single





Source: Pinterest
Czech professional femulator Libor Landa

Saturday, May 30, 2015

Hilary's Favorite Photos (of Hilary!)


Stana,
I have been following your blog for a few years.
The pictures attached are my favorite pictures.
Because of my prior weight, I had very low self-body image.(I have attached a picture of me when I was a ++size women.) 
I tend to hide my body in non-forming clothing. I had the opportunity to spent the day at True Colors Artistry in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania and was worked on by the amazing Amanda Richards. She provided me the opportunity to improve my self-image. Simply one of the best days of my life!

Hilary
Calling all girls! My open invitation to post your favorite photo along with the story behind it and the reason it is your favorite photo still stands, so don't be shy, send me your fave foto. ― Stana


Source: ShopBop
Wearing Saylor

Source: Pinterest
Pretty in pink for the American Canyon, California, middle school beauty pageant

Friday, May 29, 2015

Proms

In high school, I did not date much. I interacted easily with girls on a day-to-day basis, but when it came to dating, I did not interact successfully.

Looking back, I realize that interacting with girls was easy because I was so feminine, I was really a girl. However, dating girls was difficult because I had to act like a male and that was so foreign to me that I was lousy at it.

When I attended my high school's prom, my sister had to set me up with her best friend as my date. That date went fine because I already knew my sister's friend well; it was as if we were two girls out on a date. The only problem was that one girl had to dress like a boy.

So as the prom season winds down throughout the land, I think about the pretty prom gowns I wasn't able to wear to my high school's spring formal.

Times have changed. As Ray Davies once sang, "Boys will be girls and girls will be boys" and today, boys do wear gowns to proms and girls do wear tuxedos, probably not at my Catholic high school, but at some of the more progressive schools in the land.

And so it goes.


Miss Garber was way ahead of the curve attending her prom in Texas in 1996.




Canadian lass, Rachel attended her prom in 2011. 




Chris attended her prom in the UK in 2012.

Thursday, May 28, 2015

Questions

I am participating in Trans*forming the Dialogue, Simmons College’s Online MSW Program’s campaign to promote an educational conversation about the transgender community. By participating in this campaign, I will be offering my perspective on what TO ask and what NOT to ask trans*people.

So, what are the do's and don't's when asking a trans person about their experiences?

My Golden Rule is do not ask a trans person any questions about their transness until you ask the following question and receive a positive answer: Do you want to talk about being trans?" 

No other questions should be considered until the trans person agrees to talk about it.

If the trans person does not want to talk about it, then do not pursue it and let them be. On the other hand, if the trans person gives you the go-ahead, they are still within their rights to refuse to answer any question for whatever reason.

Personally, I love to talk about being trans. I have even been known to ask civilians who seem hesitant or too polite to ask if they want to hear about my transness.

Being trans still fascinates me 50 years after trying on my first pair of heels. I love to talk about my trials and tribulations, my amusing experiences, my affirming experiences, my hits, runs and errors and my natural, no hormone, no surgery B-cups (LOL)!

Although I am willing to talk about being trans, I do reserve the right to not answer a question, but I have yet to ever invoke that option. So, ask away.





Source: Vogue
Street style, Cannes, May 2015




Source: Pinterest
Womanless Beauty Pageant Contestant Number 4

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Saturday Evening in Dayton

My Fridays and Saturdays at Hamvention are so similar that it is hard to remember what I did each day. Up at 5 AM to get ready, grab breakfast and get to the Hamvention before it opens to the public. Then staff the booth most of the day with breaks to attend any presentations that interest me or to visit other booths.

The only differentiation is what I wear and what I do in the evening. As I wrote yesterday, Friday, I wore my white blazer and pencil skirt from Fashion to Figure. Saturday, I wore my JB by Julie Brown Kole shift dress. Friday evening is my group's annual banquet and Saturday evening is a cook-out at the home of a board member who lives in the Dayton suburbs
.
There is nothing to add about my daytime experiences at Hamvention that I haven't already written about in my previous posts. However, I will describe my evening at the cookout Saturday evening.

What I Wore Saturday Evening to My Board Member's Cookout ― The same outfit I wore when I drove to Ohio on Thursday. i.e., blue skin-tight jeggings from Dress Barn, black tunic top from Avon, black patent heels from Payless over Victoria's Secret bra and panties, a forgotten company's waist cincher and Berkshire nude thigh-highs. I accessorized with silver door-knocker earrings from Napier, silver dangling heart bracelet, black watch and a black hobo bag, all from Avon.

There are usually 30 to 40 people at the cookout. The majority are male and it seems that every year, there are new faces from the ham radio community, who were not in attendance at previous years' cookouts. Most of the females in attendance are wives of the hams and they kind of take over the kitchen.

When in Rome, do as the Romans, so I hung out in the kitchen with the ladies, while the guys hung out around the gas grill. The girl-talk was a pleasant break from the wall-to-wall ham radio talk of the previous 48 hours. One woman was surprised when I told her I had been a ham for over 45 years; she had assumed I was the wife of one of the hams at the cookout.

The only women I remember from last year's cookout was the hostess and the woman who was shooting daggers at me all night. Of course, my hostess was present this year, but the dagger lady was absent.

The handful of other women who were present were not in my memory, however, one of the women, a neighbor who was helping our hostess, remembered me and decided to welcome me into the club of women in the kitchen.

"Another woman!" she exclaimed when she saw me.

She became my best friend chatting with me throughout the cookout and introducing me to everyone else who joined our kitchen cabinet.

I had a wonderful time. It was so affirming to be treated as a lady by the other ladies. They had nothing to lose if they decided to ignore the me, unlike the sales ladies I encounter when I shop, who will lose sales if they ignore me. The ladies at the cookout welcomed me with open arms and it was so very, very nice!



Source: Boston Proper
Wearing Boston Proper



Actor Mehdi Dehbi femulating in the 2009 French film He's My Girl.

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

My Friday at Hamvention

Up at 5 AM, I shaved, showered, made up my face and got dressed for the "Big Show," that is, Hamvention  the largest ham radio convention in the USA, if not the world. (How big? Last year, nearly 25,000 people attended the event.)

I wore the same outfit I wore to the transgender conference last month  the white blazer and pencil skirt from Fashion to Figure. I think it is a killer outfit ― "Presidential" as the saleswoman at Fashion to Figure put it; a very professional look that was appropriate for a woman staffing a booth. I could not wait for the civilians to see me, so as soon as I was dressed, I took the elevator down to the hotel restaurant to eat breakfast.

The restaurant was about one-quarter occupied, mostly with business people on their way to conduct some business. None of my group were present, so I parked myself at a table and began breakfasting.

My table just happened to be facing the only other business woman seated in the restaurant. Whenever I looked in her direction, I caught her checking me out. This went on until a couple of male colleagues joined her for breakfast, which was just about the same time that one of my male colleagues joined me for breakfast.

Let me tell you about my colleagues.

I am the second or third oldest person on the board. One board member is about 10 years older as is his wife, who usually travels with him as she did this trip. The rest of the board members range in age from 35 to my age.

Most of them got to know me when I was still presenting as a male, either through my prolific writing in the ham radio world or as fellow board members. In either case, I consider most of them friends and I think they feel the same way. So when I began presenting as my true self, they found that I was still the same person that they knew before, but with a better fashion sense. And they continued to treat me as a friend and from my perspective, I saw no change in the way they interacted with me.

And a few of my colleagues joined the group after my coming out, so they only know Stana and did not have to make any adjustments. And they have become my friends, too.

I usually girl-talk with the wife of the oldest board member and she mentioned to me that when she first saw me on Thursday evening, she remarked how different I looked. We discussed the improvements I made in my presentation, but she thought I overdressed for Hamvention, which brings undo attention to me and was a giveaway that I was (in her words) a "tranny."

My retort.

Whereas most of the female attendees at Hamvention are dressed casually, the females staffing the various booths at Hamvention in general, dress nicer than the attendees, and some even dress as nice (or nicer) as I dressed.

Maybe I am making too much of her remark about giving away the fact that I am trans by dressing too well. She seems to have accepted me in the club, for example, we occasionally go to the ladies' room together as women do and she has interacted with me in other ways that indicate I am part of the club. Perhaps, her remark was due to the fact that she knew me for a long time when I was still presenting as a boy.

Anyway, it seems to me that I was accepted as a woman by most of the civilians I encountered.

There is a lot of foot traffic on the convention floor and at times, the congestion is such that you find yourself stuck in place waiting for movement or looking for an opening… unless you are a tall, well-dressed woman; then the mostly male crowd parts way to let you pass or a male will stop in his tracks to let you use an opening through the throng.

Many males and a few females checked me out. In the past, it was usually middle-aged and beyond males who did the checking, but this year, I noticed that younger males also were checking me out, which was very affirming with regards to my improved presentation. And that probably precipitated the guys who tried to hit on me, as well as the guy who handed me his business card with his personal phone number scrawled on the back; "Please call me," he said.

While I was staffing the booth, a guy stopped by and remarked that he remembered me from the previous year because I had bought an item from his booth. I recalled buying the item, but I did not recall him, so I used my feminine charms and managed to never admit that I did not remember him.

Another guy asked me a question that I could not handle, so I jokingly said, "You'll have to ask him (referring to one of the guys staffing our booth) because I am just a 'booth babe'"

His response was, "And a very good 'booth babe'!"

Speaking of booth babes, the suite of booths across the aisle from us had three young ladies filling that role (just as they had the previous year), but this year, they all wore flats instead of heels. I wore heels, but occasionally went barefoot in our carpeted booth just to give my feet a break. I exchanged smiles with the women across the aisle throughout the weekend and I encountered one of them in the ladies' restroom where she remarked, "How pretty you look!"

My usual routine at Hamvention is to staff our group's booth, attend any talks of interest and tour the convention hall to see what the other booths are showing. Although Hamvention also has a huge outdoor flea market, I usually don't find anything I want, so I hate to waste precious time going up and down rows on a fruitless search.

This spring, I sold some radio equipment I was not using and planned to use the proceeds to join the 21st Century radio-wise and purchase a new radio to replace my 30-year-old transmitter/receiver (transceiver, a Kenwood TS-440S). I had researched the matter beforehand and pretty much knew what I wanted to buy (an Elecraft KX3).

Friday morning, my group has a two-hour forum, so I attended that to take photos for our group's newsletter, which I produce. After the forum, I made a bee-line to the Elecraft booth to buy a KX3.

Arriving at the booth, a gent staffing the booth quickly untangled himself from the conversation he was having with a male civilian to talk with me. I told him what I wanted to buy and he guided me to the area of their booth where sales were being handled and departed only after he was able to hand me off to a sales staffer, a woman who sadly informed me that they were sold out of all the KX3s they had brought. But I could order one with the incentive of no sales tax and no shipping charge.

I would have had to pay sales tax if I took a unit home from the show, so that incentive along with free shipping was very attractive. I took a blank order form, filled it out and returned the next day to place my order. The sales staff remembered me, so I must have made a good impression the day before.

After a busy day at the Hamvention, we returned to our hotel to freshen up before attending my group's annual banquet dinner with another group, AMSAT. Since I had an hour to freshen up, I decided to change outfits and wore my new gray flare dress from Fashion to Figure.

By 5 PM, my face is sprouting some of the hairs I closely shaved away 12 hours earlier, so before I freshen up my makeup, I must tend to the new beard growth. Here is a trick I learned years ago from Hollywood makeup artist, Jim Bridges. Instead of removing my makeup, shaving and then reapplying my makeup, I use an electric razor to go over the spots that have new beard growth. This is adequate for the small amount of hair I have to remove and I only have to touch up my makeup, rather than reapplying it all over again. It also helps avoid getting a shaving burn on my face, which may occur if I shave twice a day with a manual razor.

After getting gorgeous, I encountered a well-dressed couple about my age waiting to take the elevator down to the lobby. After we boarded the elevator, the woman remarked, "It's nice to see another tall woman."

I responded, "I'm 6 feet 2 without these" referring to my 3-inch heels.

And then I accurately guessed, "You look to be 5 feet 9."

She added, "Without these" referring to her heels.

It doesn't get much better than that.






Source: HauteLook
Wearing L.A.M.B.





Actor Woody Harrelson in the 2003 film Anger Management

Monday, May 25, 2015

Fashionable Dayton: Saturday Daytime


What I Wore Saturday at Hamvention ― JB by Julie Brown Kole shift dress, nude patent high heel pumps from Payless over Victoria's Secret bra and panties, a forgotten company's waist cincher and Berkshire nude thigh-highs. I accessorized with black and silver loop earrings from WalMart, black and silver loop necklace from Fashion Bug; silver dangling heart bracelet, black watch and nude hobo bag, all from Avon.



Source: MyHabit
Wearing Robyn



Actor Victor Rueda in the 1999 Spanish film Between Your Legs