Got Radio?

Stana in Dayton, May 2013

One week from today, I will be on a 725-mile roadtrip to southwest Ohio to attend the annual Hamvention, the biggest ham radio convention north of the South Pole. I have attended Hamvention about 27 times over the last 37 years, the last five times as a woman as I will next week.

Attending Hamvention, I have met about a dozen other trans hams over the years who attended in boy mode. Through this blog, they knew where to find me and we connected.

If you plan to attend Hamvention this year, I hope you will stop by the booths I will be staffing on and off Friday and Saturday: booths numbered 451-454 ― just down the aisle from the huge ARRL exhibit.

Wearing Jacquemus

Femulator, circa 1970

Beauty and Styling Tips! (Part 2)

By Jamie B. 

www.TGCDStyleToronto.com 

Body and Styling

Here are some important tips regarding body and styling.

• The walk is everything. Fact is, men walk more rigid than women. Practice walking in high heels before you go out. In fact, practice a few nights before you go out. It could take a few tries before you get the walk right. The key is to do a slight sway of your hips with every step you take. If you are walking awkward after a few tries, maybe the heel is too high. Spike heels can be a challenge, so avoid them if you are prone to being a bit clumsy like myself. 2- to 3-inch heels are comfortable to flaunt your girly self in! Don't go overboard and risk looking awkward.

• Like the Little Black Dress, the classic black pump is always in style. Invest in a pair of real leather ones. Fake leather looks... well, fake. 

• Buy a stretchy belt in black and one in beige/nude. These are inexpensive and really can complete your outfit. It also creates a more cinched waist, which is vital to looking and feeling girly. 

• Invest in some bottom-enhancing underwear. They really make a difference with dresses and skirts. Those extra few millimeters really give a nice curve to the derriere. Walmart.com carries them online for under $11.

• Make sure your manicure is always chip-free and shiny. Buy a clear top coat and apply as needed to prevent chips and a dull look. A fresh manicure every week is ideal. Make sure your cuticles are trimmed prior to nail polish. 

• Avoid gaudy necklaces that look too bulky or cheaply made. A classic pearl necklace or a few layers long necklaces always look polished. Avoid bulky jewelry in general. 

• When adjusting your cleavage, apply a matte brown eyeshadow (from your neutral eyeshadow palette) to the tops of your pecs to create the illusion of rounder, fuller breasts. Let the natural shadow if your cleavage guide you where to apply. They should look like back-to-back “C” shapes. 

I hope these tips and techniques have been educational and enlightening. Please don't hesitate to ask me any questions by e-mailing me at TGCDStyleToronto@gmail.com. My goal is to make every crossdresser and transgender woman feel like they intend to feel, feminine!

Wearing Ann Taylor

Contestant in Colombian womanless beauty pageant

Beauty and Styling Tips!

By Jamie B. 

www.TGCDStyleToronto.com 

When I began doing makeup over 10 years ago, I never imagined I'd be specializing in the transgender and crossdressing communities. I am grateful for all the classy ladies I've met along my way. I continue to meet loveliness every time I meet a client. I have much respect for those living their truth ― no matter who it is. So keep being your authentic self. It's a delicate process, coming into your own, that shouldn't be rushed. You set the pace.

If you are reading this, chances are, wherever you are in your own journey, you are definitely ready for some beauty and styling tips! So, let's get started.

What makes femulation so elusive at times is the fact that many aren't prepped or are only partially prim.

As you know, being a passable woman takes some work, and more for others. It is more than a pair of great legs or putting on a wig. The wig needs styling. The legs need to be smooth and with silky stockings. It's more than red lipstick. It's a carefully lined mouth, made to appear fuller.

Being a woman is also about her poise, her walk, her scent, and general mannerisms that make her undoubtedly femme. All these elements all need to work together like a femme factory. With that said, we are going to get into the nitty-gritty about what exactly is needed and how you should go about achieving the femulation you are dreaming of. Then, all else is just practice!

Hair and Makeup

Nothing screams femme like hair and makeup. Let's start there. Here are some pointers I share with my clients.

• Your makeup should never match your clothes, i.e., blue eyeshadow with a blue blouse or yellow eyeliner with yellow dress. Instead, choose neutral makeup colors, and have fun with color when it comes to your clothing. The reason being, if you want to be passable and tasteful, less is more. If you want a pop of color, save it for your lips!

• Grab a neutral eyeshadow palette. This is a staple in your makeup bag. Neutral eyeshadow colors are perfect for shaping the eye without looking fake or obnoxious. It is perfect for smoky eyes or just classic, clean makeup. I always apply neutrals to the eyes of transgender and crossdressing clients and again, save the color for their lips. Smashbox Exposure is a nice matte/shimmer palette. It comes with a mini mascara and doubled-ended brush. One side is for applying eyeshadow, and the other for blending.

• Pick one feature and stick to it. Lips or Eyes. Play up only one feature at a time as your focal point. Is it your eyes you want to enhance with dark eyeshadow and liner? Then keep lips a soft pink or rose. If you prefer a bright pink or red pout, go easy on the eye makeup. Black mascara or some false lashes along with some medium brown matte eyeshadow in the crease is all you need to make the focal point your lips.

• CoverFX Total Cover Cream Foundation is your Holy Grail foundation. It is an emollient-based product, so it looks like real skin and covers stubborn beard shadow. It doubles as a concealer as well, due to the full coverage and creamy texture. It is vegan, cruelty-free and originally made in a prominent Canadian hospital specifically for burn victims. No need for a foundation brush with this one ― a cosmetic wedge is all you need on well-moisturized skin. It is SPF30, fragrance-free, paraben-free and talc-free. 

• Get on the BeautyBlender bandwagon! This teardrop shaped sponge is bouncy, dense, used when damp, and is used to blend out any harsh lines. A must-have for a clean, professional makeup look. Clean it weekly with baby shampoo. 

• Watch out for too much blush. This can look very clownish/exaggerated. Remember, we want to look feminine and pretty, not drag. Instead, use a neutral shade and blend with a damp BeautyBlender. Simply smile, and apply to the “apples” (nude/pink for light to medium tones and nude/rose for darker tones)

• Invest in a nice wig (or two). It is nice to have the option to switch wigs based on your mood or look. Synthetic is less expensive than human hair, but requires more maintenance to prevent knots and dreads. Lace front gives the appearance of a natural hairline, which also costs more. Capless wigs are the most common type and less expensive than lace front.

• Oil of Morocco Dry Styling Argan Oil is a “wigsaver,” as I call it. Spray it on the ends of your synthetic wig and gently brush out any tangles before they turn into knots and eventually dreads... Can be used on human hair wigs as well. Hold the wig as a ponytail in your fist as you brush from bottom to top being careful not to rip out any chunks of hair. 

• Flat wig? Use a bit of Batiste Dry Shampoo! It is essentially a micro-fine powder, which gives hair the texture and volume boost it needs. Then fluff hair with fingers. Make sure to get the brown-tinted version for darker wigs. 

• When covering your beard shadow, apply foundation in a stippling motion, set with a setting powder, and apply more foundation, and set again. This layering technique is popular for building coverage and the CoverFx foundation won't look heavy.

• Parfum or Eau De Toilette? Parfum costs more, usually has less quantity, but lasts much longer. Spray only 2-3 sprays in the air and walk into it. This way, you have a nice scent, but not an overwhelmingly strong aura.

• Purchase a nice highlighter powder like Stila All Over Shimmer Powder in Kitten. Use it on the brow bone, bridge of nose, upper lip “cupid's bow,” cheekbones and cleavage. This will illuminate your features by looking smooth and pretty, which is very girly.

Part 2 of Jamie’s Beauty and Styling Tips! will appear here tomorrow, so you all come back now, here.

Wearing Ann Taylor

Comparing notes at the drag ball

Marlena's Favorite Photo (of Marlena!)

I have very few because very few people have ever met "Marlena." This was taken by Janna Patterson, the proprietress of JannasStudio in Forest Park, IL. She can provide all the clothes and accessories needed for a wonderful afternoon of adventure and escape; by appointment only.

Calling all girls! My open invitation to post your favorite photo along with the story behind it and the reason it is your favorite photo still stands, so don't be shy, send me your fave foto. ― Stana

Wearing Lulu

Stan Munro, Australian professional femulator

Carmen's Favorite Photos (of Carmen!)

Dear Stana,

I would like to answer your invitation.

One year ago, I sent you a paper about a small group of "femulators" including me, visiting Chenonceaux Castle.

One week ago, Hommefleur association, had its annual assembly near Orléans, in Chicamour Castle. During the two days, we had discussions, dinners, ball. We also visited Chamerolles Castle dedicated to the perfume history. It was a great event for all of us. It was also the first time I met Zoe, who also sent you a photo some months ago.

I sent you two photos of Chamerolles: one of the group and one of me in one of the room showing all sorts of perfume flasks.

Once again, I thank you for the beautiful job you are performing.

Best regards,

Carmen

Calling all girls! My open invitation to post your favorite photo along with the story behind it and the reason it is your favorite photo still stands, so don't be shy, send me your fave foto. ― Stana

Wearing Donna Morgan

Actor Stanley Baxter on UK television's Stanley Baxter's Christmas Box in 1976

Bruce

Like my sister Meg, I did not watch the Bruce Jenner interview. And I have no plans to watch it anytime soon (if ever).

It is nothing against Ms. Jenner or her coming out. In fact, I congratulate her and anyone else who comes out.

But after trying to sort out my womanhood for over 50 years, I have heard, seen and read it all before and do not want to spend any time hearing, seeing and reading it all over again.

It is the same way I feel about reality television shows. I don’t want to waste whatever time I have left on this planet watching other people live their lives; I have my own life to live.

And so it goes.

Wearing 3x1 

Actor Brian Charles Rooney on the New York City stage in Bedbugs!!!  

Morning Person

Saturday, I attended the Transgender Lives Conference at the UConn Health Center in Farmington. Continuing from yesterday's post, this is the conclusion of my story.

After my police escort, I found the conference and picked up the registration and presenter packages. I did not recognize anyone except a few people who were as busy as could be running the conference, so I did not bother them, got a cup of coffee and looked over the program trying to decide what presentation to attend before mine at 10:45 AM.

A few people I encountered said “Hello,” but they were passing like ships in the night hellos, rather than long time, no see hellos. 

And then a male name-tagged “Tom” stopped and engaged me in conversation. She had attended my old support group’s meetings and remembered me, but I did not remember her especially since I would have only seen her en femme in the past. Nevertheless, we had an pleasant chat.

I visited the various booths that were set up for the conference, talked to the folks staffing those booths, picked up some literature and then went to auditorium for the “welcoming remarks.” 

The person who was supposed to welcome us was a no-show, so my friend Diana, who was running the conference, welcomed us. One memorable moment during the welcome was when a woman seated in the row behind me tapped me on the shoulder and remarked how much she "loved" my outfit. (During the conference, I received a number of kudos regarding my outfit.)

I decided to attend a workshop that sounded interesting on paper, but was not interesting to me in person. The person presenting the workshop spoke well, seemed to know the subject matter, but I did not get it. Maybe it was me, I dunno. Anyway, I will not mention the title of the workshop or the presenter’s name to protect the innocent.

Jan and I were up next. Our presentation “Crossdressing in the Real World” was basically a show and tell. We showed photos of us out and about, explained what we were doing in each photo and hoped that it would inspire the attendees to get out of the closet and go out and about, too.

I felt that I was not very organized and winged it. Despite what I felt, a number of people said they enjoyed the presentation (by the way, there were about a dozen in attendance). However, one person (Allison) e-mailed me some feedback and suggestions for improvement including, "Tell them what you're going to tell them, tell them, and tell them what you told them."

Self-criticisms: at the beginning of the workshop, tell the attendees to break in any time with questions. Also, let the attendees introduce themselves and say why they are attending the workshop.

Allison was happy to meet me in person. I won’t go into details, but I helped her get out of the closet. She told me she was having lunch with an old support group friend, Willa, who I had not seen in about 15 years, so I invited myself to join them for lunch.

Box lunches were included and all the attendees met up together for lunch in the cafeteria. Only then did I realize how many people were in attendance – over 150!

I enjoyed chatting with Willa over lunch (I chatted more than I ate) and met some other girls including Betty and Francesca. I also ran into other old friends: Dallas, Janis, Karen, Moonhawk and Tony.

I left after lunch because my wife was having a bad day with her MS. So I missed the afternoon presentations and Dallas Denny’s keynote address, but I had a very good half-day and look forward to another outing real soon now.

Wearing Dior (dress and shoes, left) and Nina Ricci (dress and shoes, right)

Actor Sid Silvers in the 1935 film Broadway Melody of 1936

I, Damsel

Saturday, I attended the Transgender Lives Conference at the UConn Health Center in Farmington. Doors opened at 8 AM and the conference got underway at 9 AM.

I live only 20 minutes away from the conference, but I was up at 5 AM because I have to feed the menagerie, clean the litter boxes, clean and refill the menagerie’s bowls for their next feeding, get the newspaper from the tube at the end of the driveway and make myself a cup of coffee before I begin to femulate, which got underway at 5:45 AM.

I shaved my face, Veeted my legs, showered, slipped on my undies, did my makeup and hair, got dressed and was ready to go at 7:15 AM. I wore my new “presidential” outfit from Fashion to Figure; a white zippered pencil skirt, matching white blazer, black top with a flower petal neckline, black patent high heels, beige hosiery, silver earrings, black watch and black bag. The weather forecast was good, but I brought my blue trench coat along just in case.

Out the door at 7:45, I arrived at the Health Center at 8 AM and found the shuttle parking lot where attendees were instructed to park due to construction at the Health Center. There were no other cars or a shuttle in the parking lot, so I decided to drive right up to the Health Center to see if parking was available there.

I saw a UConn police officer working with a group of guys setting up traffic cones in the middle of the parking lot. Almost simultaneously, he spotted me, detected a damsel in distress and walked over to my car to speak with me.

I told him I was attending the “trans conference” and wondered where to park.

He went above and beyond to help me out. First, he said I could park anywhere in the lot where we were standing. Since the lot was not near the best entrance to access the conference, after I parked the car, he escorted me into the building and through a maze of doors and hallways until he was assured I would find the conference “just down the hall.”

He was as friendly as could be, did not seem put-out helping me and treated me like a lady. It was an affirming moment for me and a great way to start the day!

More tomorrow.

But before I go, I will leave you with two items that came off the wire earlier:

• America Has Not Reached a Transgender Tipping Point from The New Republic agrees with what I wrote here on Friday  

• How Exactly Do You Teach Femininity from The Cut is an interesting piece about a femulating service in NYC

Wearing Christian Siriano

Actors Wade McCollum, Scott Willis and Bryan West in the 

2013 San Francisco stage production of Priscilla Queen of the Desert

Gender Confusion

After a productive morning shopping, I drove to Southern Connecticut State University to do outreach at a Human Sexuality class.

Construction near the building where the class meets decimated a parking lot, so parking is more remote. So I wore flats for the half-mile walk from the parking lot and switched to heels when I arrived at the classroom building.

As I was switching shoes, Professor Schildroth came by, so we walked and talked our way to the classroom and met up with the other folks who were doing outreach, Michelle, Mary-Ann and Quinton.

It was a typical Professor Schildroth human sexuality class – about 25 students with about a 5-to-1 female-to-male ratio. After we each presented our bios in a nutshell, the class was split in two and I was paired with Mary-Ann, a no-op, no-hormone, but 24/7 transwoman, to do Q&A with each of half of the class in tandem with post-ops Michelle and Quinton.

Atypically, this class was full of questions and did not need much encouragement. Some of the questions indicated that there was confusion concerning the trans terms "crossdresser," "transgender" and "transsexual" and after reading some of the student’s post-class comments, I am not so sure we cleared up the matter for everyone. There also was some confusion about our sexuality, but that seemed easier to clarify... "Yes, Mary-Ann and I are lesbians."

Except for the confusion, the students’ comments were generally positive. One student commented that she thought we were cisgender women when we entered the class. Another student mentioned that she would like to go shopping with me!

After class, we went to the student center to eat, digest the students’ comments and chat.

At 3 PM, I said my goodbyes, switched to flats, walked to my car and drove home after another successful day out in the real world as a woman.

Pink Light Specials

This week, CVS has two items on sale that this femulator stocks up on;

• Kiss stick-on pre-glued nails: buy 2, get third for free
• Veet hair removal cream: buy 1, buy second at 50% off

Buyer beware: those are central Connecticut sales; your mileage may vary.

Wearing Club Monaco (top), Dsquared2 (skirt) and See by Chloe (sandals).

On the Chicago stage in 2014, Snow White and the Seven Drag Queens

Fashion to Figure Fun

Dressed for Thursday's outing

Thursday, I was out to do outreach at a human sexuality class at Southern Connecticut State University in New Haven. Before outreach, I planned to shop; after outreach, eat.

I wore a new hairdo, a new dress and new glasses and was out the door at 9:30 AM. I was back in the door at 9:31 to switch to heavier outerwear. It was a blustery 40 degrees and the trench coat I initially wore out was not going to cut it, so I switched to a new swing coat that was more appropriate for our wintery spring weather. (On the road, I actually ran into some snow showers!)

Originally, I planned to drive to a DressBarn located near the University campus to buy a pair of white jeggings that I saw for sale on their website. But the route to New Haven takes me right past the Meriden mall where my favorite Fashion to Figure (FTF) store is located.

I always score at FTF and with my annual roadtrip to the Hamvention in Ohio looming on the horizon, I thought I might be able to get some new outfits for the trip at FTF's very reasonable prices. So I took the exit for the mall instead of driving to DressBarn.

Upon entering FTF, I encountered my favorite sales associate (SA) who was so helpful during my previous visit to the store. Even though that was five months ago, she still remembered me!

I did not see white jeggings on the FTF website, so I assumed they did not carry them, but I thought it would not hurt to ask, so I did. I was correct, they did not have white jeggings and that revelation segued into a short discussion about how white jeggings were not necessarily a good fashion choice for zaftig girls like us. That thought had crossed my mind and now that it was confirmed, I crossed white jeggings off my shopping list.

I browsed the racks and found a white zippered pencil skirt and matching white blazer. They had my size (1), so I handed them to my SA and she started a dressing room for me. While I continued to browse, she showed me a gray flared pleated dress that I immediately fell in love with, so she added it in sizes 0 and 1 to my dressing room. I did not see anything else that caught my eye, so I went to the dressing room to try on the finds.

The size 0 gray flare dress almost fit, but the zipper was very stubborn, so I tried on the size 1 and its zipper was more cooperative. I stepped outside the dressing room to check myself out in the mirrors and model the dress for my SA. I loved the way it looked and the SA agreed.

Next I tried on the size 1 pencil skirt and size 1 blazer. The skirt was a perfect fit, but I thought I might be able to downsize the blazer. When I stepped out of the dressing room, my SA said that I looked "Presidential" and I agreed ― the outfit looked outstanding, but I asked my SA to get me a size 0 blazer to try on. I was correct, it fit and looked better than the size 1.

While I was changing, my SA presented me with another find: a blue belted wrap dress with an asymmetrical hemline. When she handed the dress to me, I had my doubts because it looked too small, but when I tried it on, it hugged my curves the way curves were meant to be hugged. I could see myself wearing the dress to one of the dinners I will be attending during Hamvention, so I added it to my shopping cart.

I was happy with the new additions to my wardrobe, checked out and said goodbye to my SA.

Payless is across the way from FTF, so I stopped in to see what fit. I tried on a variety of footwear in sizes 11, 11 Wide, 12 and 12 Wide. Only one pair that interested me fit me: a pair of white flats. They were on sale ($17), so I bought them because I don't own a pair of white flats and these were actually pretty rather than just utilitarian!

Time was running out. It was 11:35 and the human sexuality class began 20 miles away in 50 minutes, so I exited the mall a very satisfied shopper and drove to New Haven.

Wearing Ann Taylor

Prisoner of war camp femulation in the 1937 film La Grande Illusion.