Every Cloud Has A Silver Lining

Have you noticed lately the ads on television for law firms willing to sue pharmaceutical companies whose drugs caused boys to have Gynecomastia? Personally, when it comes to Gynecomastia, it has been a cup half empty or cup half full scenario.

In my youth, the cup was half empty.

My peers abused me and bullied me because I was a feminine boy, which was bad enough. Revealing my breasts would just give my abusers more ammunition, so I avoided participating in any activities that involved going topless because when I did go topless, it did not always go well.

For example, I will never forget a game of touch football at a family picnic. I was unlucky enough to be on the skins team and my breasts were bouncing around during every play and became the object everybody's attention. When one of my uncles made a crack that some of the players needed bras, I was so embarrassed that I had to hold back the tears.

However, as I got older and began to embrace my womanhood, I learned to appreciate my feminine body. When I wore a revealing blouse, I discovered the joys of Gynecomastia ― add some push-up bra inserts and a little makeup and my breasts rivaled many women's breasts.

Today, I am proud of my breasts. They bring me joy because they so represent being a woman and I am proud that I am a woman. Even when I am in boy mode, I just have to touch my breasts to remind me that I am a woman and it brings a smile to my face.

So, as an adult, the cup is half full (actually, the cups are nearly full).

By the way, the photo above was taken after I got dressed to attend the Avon representative Christmas party in 2012. I missed last year's party because of a snowstorm, but the forecast is good for tonight, so I will be attending the 2014 installment of the Avon rep Christmas party this evening.

 

 

 

Wearing DailyLook.

 

 

 

Professional femulator Terry Durham, circa 1973.

17 Days

My South African girlfriend Dianne Vernon, who I first met at Fantasia Fair in 2010, was at the Fair this year, too. We recently exchanged some e-mails about the Fair, about our lives as women and about her consecutive 17 days en femme. Dianne kindly agreed to let me excerpt her e-mails; I think you will find them interesting.

Despite the weather, I still had a good Fantasia Fair and more so, that I actually managed to be en femme a full 17 days, which was absolutely fabulous!. I went en femme the Friday morning before Fantasia Fair and the weekend in Atlanta was already a blast. The flight to Boston on Monday was also uneventful, but fun as all was done en femme and by the time I was in P-Town, the bad weather could not even do too much to spoil the awesome adventure.

From there I drove to Newport on Sunday and went on some of the mansions tours there and eventually ended in New London, where I then took the ferry to Orient Point the next day and spent one night in Montauk.

From there it was to NY and NJ and although I did not think or plan it before time, I actually ended up flying out to LA still en femme the following Friday! It was a first for me yet again to be on a 6+ hour flight as Dianne, but it was also wonderful and all ended up well.

I spent the weekend in LA and then drove to Vegas on Tuesday. Unfortunately I had to go drab on Wednesday and Thursday, but it all ended up just shy of three weeks and it was the best three weeks ever!

Not sure if you have experienced the same, but since I got to a point where I am totally comfortable in any situation and place as Dianne, it became so much more fun and so much more relaxing, plus the added benefit is that one passes so much better that it's almost surreal!

There is almost this newfound freedom that adds an amazing new dimension to it all and I really felt like I can do this full-time any day and for me, if the obstacles of work and wife would be OK with it, I will be full-time in a heartbeat!

Not sure about you, but for me there are both this new dimension in my "femulation" where I am so totally comfortable and relaxed out in public en femme to an extent I never imagined before, but also a scary side to it.

Not too long ago, I was always still careful where I go and at what times and would still have sometimes chickened out if I get to a place that was too busy, etc, but in the last three years that has all changed so much. I am these days totally relaxed and not scared to walk into any place or situation as a women would. The peace and relaxation has replaced the edginess and excitement.

On the other side is the fear that comes with this new dimension too, where I actually have seen and can see myself living as a woman 24/7 knowing how much there would be to sacrifice for that and the one side saying its not worth it, and the other saying it is.

I was really amazed how totally comfortable I was in this 17 days even handling a long day of travel, crowded places and situations with more or the same ease I would have done it in drab!

Checking in for the flight to LA in NY, I was almost shocked that I was so relaxed, and after I went through security, I walked around the new terminal and had lunch there. As I was sitting at the gate, Cosette called me and where I would have never had the confidence to chat on the phone in a crowded place en femme before, I was having a nice chat with her this time, enjoying it and totally amazed at how I was just one of the girls there having a conversation and 100% comfortable in such a crowded environment in any situation.

Another amazing thing I have also experienced is that I was totally comfortable speaking to anyone and having a conversation, compared with the past where one tried to minimize it out of fear of being read. In the car rental shuttle in Boston, I was sitting across from two women in their 60’s who were frantically talking and worried if they are on the right bus, so I engaged in conversation, firstly telling them they are ob the right bus and from there we chatted even more, and it was amazing how i was just accepted as a GG and all because I acted totally like one.

Although I have stayed over in hotels many times en femme  it was still an amazing experience to check into a hotel fully en femme as Dianne and notice to see how the staff and everybody there accepted me fully as a GG all the time.

In the past, I would have still timed it to have breakfast, for instance, after the rush or busiest time and now I do not care walking into a busy breakfast area, having my breakfast at leisure and even chat to anybody sitting close by!

Isn't that a wonderful story! And it is something we can all femulate to one degree or another. As they say, "Try it, you'll like it!"

Wearing Kier & J (dress), Wolfie (jacket) and Mitchie's Matchings (scarf and earmuff).

Actor Ben Porter femulating in the 2004 British film School of Seduction.

A few words about the film School of Seduction

It is an entertaining film and I enjoyed it despite the British accent barrier.

Here is the storyline from IMDB: “When gorgeous Italian temptress Sophia Rosselini's School for Seduction arrives in Newcastle, four friends-each hoping to release their inner sex goddess-sign up for an education in the 'seductive arts.' Taking their cue from sultry Sophia, the newly confident women unleash themselves upon their unsuspecting partners with lustful abandon.”

The film can probably be classified as a chick flick comedy, but it’s treatment of the crossdressing subplot was not the target of comedy. The cisgender females treated the crossdresser as one of the girls, not a man in a dress, which was refreshing.

And in addition to the crossdressing subplot, femulators might pick up a few tips on how to better present as a woman. I know I did. 

And don’t put a ribbon on it!

 

 

 

 

Wearing Shoedazzle.

 

 

 

Professional femulator Terri Lean appeared in a magazine ad for fabric in 1970.

Paula’s Favorite Photo (of Paula!)

This picture is from last year when I was on a business trip to San Diego. I had a whole day to spend as Paula. It was a wonderful day that filled me with so much joy. The outfit I was wearing came together perfectly. I was a size 16 and felt so pretty wearing a houndstooth skirt and sweater.

Everywhere I went that day I was called “Ma’am.” I just felt so pretty and female. In this picture, I was at the M·A·C store at the Fashion Valley Mall. I was surrounded by other women and felt so accepted and a part of their world. I spent about an hour with a young woman working on a winter look for my eyes. She had never met a transgender person before and I spent the time telling her my story. She asked me a ton of questions. “Are you gay?” “What does your wife think?” “How old were you when you started?” And, of course, the well-known, “Are going to get the operation?” She was a sweetheart and we hugged when parting.

Afterwards, I headed over to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner. There was a queue for tables so I sat and waited amongst dozens of diners. I busied myself with my phone and sat there with my legs demurely crossed.

As I was sitting there, I remembered reading the Geocities pages of a girl back in the 90’s who always went to Cheesecake Factory en femme. I remember thinking, “There’s no way I could ever, ever do that!” But here I was, proving there is hope for everyone.

“Ms. Gaikowski, your table is ready.”

I was seated at a table and in front of me was a huge mirror that gave me a view of the restaurant. I’m always curious what others think of my presentation, so I kept scanning the room looking for the stares or whispers. Happily, I didn’t notice anything like that. Finally, I relaxed and I sat there gazing with wonder into the mirror at the woman across from me.

I guess what was all so exhilarating and exciting is that for most of my life I never thought I would ever leave the house dressed as a woman. I lived with such fear and shame that the thought of being accepted and treated respectfully as a woman seemed foreign and unattainable. Only a few short years ago in 2009, I was afraid even to buy makeup.

I truly treasure exchanges like this and it is with heartfelt sincerity that I say that I treasure and feel privileged to be addressed as a woman.

In response to my open invitation to send your favorite photo along with the story behind it and the reason it is your favorite photo, I received a lot of photos and stories that I am posting in the the order I received them. My invitation still stands, so don't be shy, send me your photos! And by the way, there are currently 20 girls' photos in the queue.

 

 

 

Wearing DressBarn.

 

 

 

Actor and professional femulator Christopher Morley.

Self-Gifting

I Christmas shop for my family and my family Christmas shops for the male I pretend to be for my family. But no one Christmas shops for the woman I really am, so I have to Christmas shop for her myself. Which is not a bad thing because I know what she wants, know the sizes she wears, and therefore, I will never be disappointed by a self-gift.

Recently, I received a cash award at work for a successful project that I worked on, so I decided to reward my female self with some extra gifts this year.

A girl can never own too many panties and mine are starting to show their age, so I  bought some high-leg brief panties from Victoria's Secret.

Also, I want to introduce more womenswear into my boy wardrobe, so I bought four pairs of pants from DressBarn --- two pairs of dress slacks that I can wear to work and two pairs of denim jeggings that I may be able wear to work. I am not sure about the jeggings; they may be too feminine for boy wear, but I don't have any jeans for girl mode, so now I do.

In the last century, I bought a set of silicone push-up bra inserts that I used to enhance my cleavage when I wore something that exposed my girls. They worked great until I inadvertently poked a hole in one with a safety pin. It leaked and was ruined.

Since then, I used homemade inserts when need be. But I missed the silicone inserts, so I sprung for a pair (from Original Looks) that was highly-rated on Amazon.

Also on Amazon, I bought some fishnet stocking stuffers: some slide-on foam cushion backs for my clip-on earrings and earring converters to transition pierced earrings to clip-ons.

I thought I was done self-gifting, then along came an e-mail from WigSalon advertising some new Envy brand wigs. Usually, I just briefly glance at such e-mails and then move them in the trash, but I noticed that they had a new wig similar to the my hairstyle du jour, but in a large cap size.

Truth be told, I have a large head, but a large collection of average cap size wigs. As a result, my wigs are forever trying to jump ship and I am forever pulling at them to keep them on board.

Look around and you will not find too many large cap size wigs and none in a style that I like, so I never owned a large cap size wig... until now. Shari from Envy in sparkling champagne will soon grace my head. You can be sure I will take a selfie of Shari ASAP.

 

 

 

Wearing Madeleine.

 

 

 

A mid-20th century professional femulator.

Don't Miss Miz Gator

Jennifer Merrill alerted me about the YouTube video of the Miz Gator Womanless Beauty Pageant that was put on by the Ware County High School in Waycross, Georgia. The school's cheerleading team organized it as a fundraiser for the football season and they did a fantastic job.

Jennifer's comment says it all, "If the boys in Ware County look this beautiful in evening gowns, the girls must be unbelievable! The gowns, the wigs, the bling, the heels (where they're wearing them) and the way they walk in them... even the manicures and the makeup! Amazing!"

The girls went all out for this pageant and methinks some of the contestants have been practicing for a long time (and may still be practicing today --- if you know what I mean).

Ibida Queen, the girl who ultimately was crowned Miz Gator was the most impressive. Besides gorgeous, she had all the moves and mannerisms of a pageant queen rather than a guy in a dress. Like Jennifer said, "Amazing!"

See for yourself!

 

 

 

Wearing La Redoute.

 

 

 

British actor, magician and stand-up comedian Victoria Elizabeth.

Still Sleepless in Minneapolis

By Jeanine

I woke up at 7 AM and got ready, while my wife slept in, but she loves breakfast, so she was off to the hotel's dining room by eight. The hotel's breakfast offerings were top-notch with lots of choices, so she was a very happy girl when she dropped me off at the college and went on her way to a fabric store, where she spent most of the day. When she has the opportunity to get away like this and do her thing, she's much more inclined to join me for a girls weekend, so we parted company for the day.

My workshop was scheduled for 3 PM. I wore a black suit jacket over a grey stretchy top and matching skirt with suntan hose and my low black heels. I added a small silver "J" pin to the lapel and a subtle necklace.

Upon arrival I was greeted by conference staff and a cadre of volunteers who were very helpful. I'm a bit technologically-challenged, but in a matter of minutes with the help of a professor/volunteer, I was connected to the college's Wi-Fi and checked on aspects of my presentation. Rahul also printed my handout copies for me, so I relaxed and had some coffee and a bit to eat.

This conference was very well-organized, so I did not want for anything and immediately felt at home. You can Google the conference website for more information on the workshops and schedule of events if you're interested in attending next year. About 270 people attended, most being students from various colleges and university's in Minnesota and surrounding states.

Being an LGBTQIA conference, I did not want to preach to the choir, so my workshop was titled "Crossing Paths: The Intersection of Law Enforcement (my career) and the LGBTQIA Community." I had an hour to enlighten about 12 students and with input from about half of them, it resulted in a fairly productive session.

I completed the day by listening to the afternoon keynote speaker and my wife came back at 5 PM to pick me up so we could change and go out to dinner. We only had a few hours and I wanted to return for the drag show at 8 PM, so I debated whether to take a quick shower and redo my makeup, but it was already after 10 hours and my close shave was no longer close.

Wow, fast and furious worked; my makeup was great and I even had time to put on my nails. I wore my favorite speckled grey, white and black cowl neck sweater dress with a pair of sheer black nylons and my high heel pumps. And off to an Olive Garden in the suburbs!

It was about 7 PM when we got there and it was standing room only in the foyer. Needless to say we got quite a few looks because we both were dressed very nicely. My wife wore a brown sweater-like top with a fur collar and a short dark floral print skirt with her high heel boots. I must admit that I was a tad nervous as other customers took in the tall girl trying to look shorter standing partially behind a potted plant.

We asked if we could be seated in the bar area provided we only wanted to order from a limited menu. A family with children was there, but the kids did not seem to notice. Once again, no fingers were pointed, no whispers were exchanged, conversations continued and after a long exchange with my glass of wine, I crossed my legs and relaxed. Our waitress greeted us with "hello ladies" and we began a very pleasant exchange with her that lasted throughout our meal.

The food was very good and by the time we left, the crowd had thinned and we got to the drag show just as it began. It was like most drag shows, but I tipped some of the student performers which, of course, gave the audience an opportunity to check out my evening look. Yes, as most of us must acknowledge, I too admit to my degree of vanity; isn't that one of the reasons we do this?

I sat with Nickyia, the Diversity Director, who was wearing a similar dress and we agreed that cable knit sweater dresses are one of the most comfy and dressy things you can wear when the cold weather sets in. And I've found that wearing a dress or top with a cowl or V-neck works best for me because it focuses the eye on or about the neck rather than on the center of my face as when I wear a turtleneck. I think most of us on average have larger heads and faces than genetic woman and this wardrobe tip may help to make your face a bit smaller; well, at least it does for me and I can see that in past and present photos.

We left a bit early and by 10 PM, we returned to Olive Garden to have coffee and share a pumpkin cheesecake drizzled with caramel and lots of whipped cream. Our waiter went over board to treat us ladies well and spent so much time chatting with us that he almost (but not quite) became a tad annoying, but he got a nice tip anyway!

The place was closing up as we left and went back to our hotel. I was careful to avoid the families returning to their rooms from the pool with their children as "Daddy, Daddy why is that man wearing a dress?” wasn’t something I wanted to hear!

I returned for Sunday's workshops and closing keynote while my wife packed up and then joined me for lunch. She took these pictures of me with Mary, another presenter, and with Nickyia (standing by the Century College banner) just before we left. I wore my black and brown outfit again with an orange colored top.

We drove north to Duluth and stopped for dinner at Pickwick's downtown. I received a bit more attention this time because my wife was dressed very casually. The only thing I noticed was that our waitress, who was very pleasant and efficient, mostly referred to us as "you two" when chatting with us. I also saw a guy at the bar glancing in our direction quite a bit and checking us out when we left, but once again we came, ate and went with no cause for alarm.

Well, that's about it for my femulating adventure. We had a great time and I'm looking forward to our next trip to The Cities next month. In the meantime, I have at least two other outings coming up including a micro-dermabrasion appointment and attending the monthly Free Thinker meeting, a non-religious group which has embraced me completely and scheduled me as their speaker this past April.

I genuinely enjoy allowing the feminine energy and essence that embraces so much of my spirit to shine and thrive and I'd be less than honest to say that my femme persona is not "the better angel of my nature." Thanks for taking the time to read about me and my thanks to Stana for posting it. I truly hope you found it interesting and helpful in your desire to live your life the way you'd like too!

And of course, a few more pictures: standing by the Father of Our Country and ready to go out dancing at a Halloween party.
 

 The first part of Jeanine’s adventure in Minneapolis appeared here yesterday.

 

 

 

Wearing La Redoute.

 

 

 

Femulating chorus boys from the University of Michigan Opera in 1952.

Sleepless in Minneapolis

By Jeanine

If only every week could be like the one I spent in the Twin Cities of Minnesota in early November. Dining out, shopping, going to the theatre, visiting the Minneapolis Institute of Arts and culminating as a presenter and attendee at the Minnesota Out Campus Conference at Century College near St. Paul over the weekend made me one very happy girl! Making it ever better was enjoying the company of my lovely wife who went everywhere with me and then did some things on her own while I attended the conference.

Needless to say, I did not get much sleep, but I'm certainly not complaining. We had a great time and will do so again in mid-December when she flies out of Minneapolis-St. Paul for the holidays. We're planning on attending a murder mystery dinner Friday at the Spaghetti Factory before she leaves on Saturday and get some holiday shopping in as well.

Our extra-long weekend began on Thursday night. After checking into our hotel she went swimming leaving me to get dressed and ready to go to the theater. I chose my maroon skirt with a black ruffled bodysuit blouse and black pumps. I like bodysuits because they stay tucked and look trim and this one was a great find because it was a size Tall. I'm always searching for Tall items as I'm 6 feet tall with long arms and prefer to wear long sleeves.

My wife got herself ready and wore a colorful pleated stretch dress with her black high heel boots and looked fantastic. We definitely looked like two girls dressed for an evening out on the town. Off we went to downtown where we took in a performance of Disenchanted at the Illusion Theatre, a mildly risqué play about the "real" stories of Snow White, Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella --- the story that Walt Disney and Mickey Mouse did not tell you! It was very funny and the audience was mostly other women, so we fit right in.

We then went off to Crave Restaurant for some drinks and the late night happy hour where the bartender said "Hello Ladies" when we sat down at the bar, crossed our legs and took in the ambiance. When my wife went to the ladies room, I watched the male chefs and waitstaff check her out as she walked past and I couldn't blame them!

At 11pm, we walked a few blocks back to the parking garage and made our way back to the hotel. Our first night made me feel like I had gone to some womanly heaven and I looked forward to the next day and our trip to the Art Institute.

On Friday, we slept in a bit and then got ready to go to lunch first and make our way to the Minneapolis Institute of Arts. It's a beautiful three-story building filled with art from all over the world, but we would only have time to tour the third floor which was filled with art representative of Europe and the America's for the past three centuries.

I chose a new outfit that combined black and brown color blocking, which is a style I really like. I wore a black suede skirt with a black knit top coupled with brown tights and a dark brown suede zippered jacket and my black low heels. It's a dressy casual outfit that works well in Minneapolis where tights and boots our popular with the women who live there.

I really enjoy going to Minneapolis because the women are always dressed nicely and a transgender woman can fit in so much easier. It's a very liberal city with a large LGBT population and hospitality staff who are used to seeing and serving our community. As yet, I don't believe I've ever been called anything other than “Ma’am,” “Ladies” or some other feminine name. It just makes you feel wonderful to know that people accept you for who you want to be.

We first made our way to the Textile Center of Minnesota along the Mississippi River. My wife sews and she was really excited to go there and obtain information about their services and classes, as well as seeing the different methods used in designing textiles and fabrics.

An hour later, we made our way to the Art Institute and had lunch in their cafe before we toured the third floor. We both took each other’s picture with the big plastic dog, whose name eludes me, in the modern art wing.

There were several whimsical pieces of art here and my wife took several pictures of me posing with them. This is a fantastic place to go and just be yourself. It's so easy to blend in and move about freely or to just sit for awhile and people-watch. And the floors were made of marble or a heavy tile, so that walking with heels made that oh-so-wonderful click/click/click that just seems to announce that a well-dressed woman is walking your way.

The Institute closes at 5, so we made our way downtown with the hopes of catching the early dueling pianos show at Shout, but we couldn't find a place to park and the traffic was too heavy, so we abandoned that idea and parked in a garage to go shopping and find a place to eat dinner.

We walked our way through the Skywalk to Macy's where I looked at boots in the shoes section. Unfortunately, the only ones that I liked and weren't over $100 weren't available in my size (11). Oh, when we asked for directions of a saleswoman working in womenswear, we were pretty sure that she was a transwoman. I thought how lucky she was to work in such a great place as I've considered applying for a part-time job en femme as well. I think I'd find working in hosiery to be my ideal department!

On we went and after spending another 30 minutes or so shopping, we made our way out onto to Nicollet Mall where we forgot to have our picture taken by the Mary Tyler Moore statute at 7th Avenue. Mary Tyler Moore was one of my very first female fashion idols, especially the first two years she appeared on her show. I loved so many of her outfits and they made an impression on me that has lasted to this day.

My current fashion maven is Kate Middleton. Her style is one that I wish I could afford to femulate every day. Do you know that she was the one that re-introduced wearing hosiery as a "required" item to the wardrobe of women in the U.K? Pantyhose and nylons sales were slipping until she came along and showed how they completed and complimented an outfit. If I could look like her, I think I'd flip the switch!

At 10th and Nicollet, you'll find Zelo, a classy Italian restaurant where we had dined before on previous trips to the big city. We were seated right away by the host with a "follow me ladies" and sat side-by-side at a table along the wall. No one took any undue notice of us. Conversations didn't stop, forks still shoveled food and our waitress greeted us with a "How are you ladies doing tonight? I'll be your server." She was nothing but friendly and accommodating the entire time we were there.

My wife had ravioli and a dark beer and I dined on chicken parmesan with a glass of Riesling. Fabulous! The ambiance was great, the other diners were classy and dignified and the service was what you would expect from a first class restaurant. Oh, and the bread was very yummy!

We passed on dessert and since I had to get up early the next morning, we made our way back to our car, but we did stop in at Target to buy some nylons and some makeup. I almost bought a pair of burgundy suede pumps, but I wasn't sure they'd go with last night's skirt, so I sighed and passed them up (but I'll go back wearing that skirt next month and see).

We joined the after-dinner crowds on the mall hurrying to their own destinations, walked a few blocks to our car and then drove back to our hotel.

Other than a few prolonged questioning (or perhaps knowing) looks, we spent the day in downtown Minneapolis as two women enjoying some of the city's favorite spaces and places. It was another great day en femme and I was looking forward to the conference on Saturday.

Jeanine’s adventure in Minneapolis will continue here tomorrow.

 

 

 

Wearing Bebe.

 

 

 

Phil Black, professional femulator, circa 1950.

Yes, that's me!

When I saw this image on Pinterest, I thought that there was a lot of truth to it.

When I am not presenting as a woman and I see another woman who has her act together, I admire her, but I am jealous, too --- jealous that I am not dressed like she is.

High heels always does it for me. In my opinion, if a woman is wearing heels, it is likely that her overall appearance is pulled together.

So whenever I hear the clicking sound of high heels, I look to see where the sound is coming from and I am usually rewarded with the vision of a well-dressed woman. Then I become envious and wish I was in her shoes literally.

I also get crabby when I am in boy mode, but when I present as a woman, I am relaxed, comfortable and generally happy.

So I will admit it: I am a girl!

 

 

 

Wearing Hayden.

 

 

 

Professional femulator Robbie Ross, circa 1965.