My Favourite Photo (of Me!)

By Michelle

We know our weakness, don’t we? Once we are dressed, someone only has to think about taking a photo and we find ourselves automatically preening our hair and checking our make-up – it’s in our genes!

In previous articles, I have explained how I asked friends if I could show them photos of me dressed - and then warned them that if they said “yes,” they might be there for some time. I like to think I’m under control in this aspect of my hobby, but nonetheless, I don’t think I’ll ever refuse to show photos to anyone who shows the slightest interest – normally following heavy hinting on my part.

Having said all that, I am usually very disappointed at the way I present in photos – usually looking very fed up and if posing, I forget to smile or if I do, it usually looks rather forced.

Like most of us, I have a portfolio of pictures, but I can honestly say that I would only want to show about 10% of them. Which is why when a photo does come out well, I treasure it.

The photo I attach with this article is my all-time favourite, although, as I say, it doesn’t have too many to beat. I like it because it isn’t posed and I’m obviously having a good time. However, as I was performing a karaoke version of a Three Degrees song with two other girls at the time, I’m not sure others in the room were enjoying the moment quite as much!

I know that Stana takes selfies to check her outfit and make-up before going out, and that seems sensible. However, I’m usually in such a hurry that organising myself to take a photo is usually beyond my time management capabilities. As a result, I normally judge the best I can by looking in the mirror – and some mistakes can go unnoticed as I go forth into the outside world.

Looking at this photo, though, I think I got away with it on this occasion. I’m really pleased with my make-up, especially my lipstick which seems to have stayed in the right place, and I think matches my dress well. As it was at Christmas, the bright, shiny red effect is appropriate. The necklace and earrings go well for me and the contrasting tights and watch set it off well. I must have been in a hurry, because I wish I’d have applied some nail varnish, which would have added a little more to the effect.

This is how I like to see myself when I’m out and although I know I don’t usually manage it, it’s fun trying to recreate the look and it’s also good to have a photo to remind me of when I did.

Has anyone else got a favourite picture of herself, which they can “show and tell?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Miss P. R. Morgan” femulating in The Timbertown Follies in The Netherlands, circa 1916.

As a Woman

(Updated Below)

The following is a transwoman’s bucket list, that is, things to do in your life as a woman.
Anything to add?

By the way, I have already done some of the things on the list, while others are still on my to-do list and a few, I have no interest in doing, but I included them for those who might have an interest.

Dance Come out to everyone Travel by air Permanent body hair removal Go on a date Make-out Compete in a womanless beauty pageant Make love Live full-time 24/7 Wear a bikini and look good doing it Be a bride Grow my hair long Go to a hair salon to get a feminine hairdo Pluck my eyebrows Go to the mall Attend a cocktail party Use the ladies' restroom Attend a black-tie event Go out to eat Shop for shoes Go to a casino Go to a movie Drive a car Get castrated Flirt Get a makeover Dress shopping Get a manicure and pedicure Girls' night out with genetic females Speak with a convincing feminine voice Go to Fantasia Fair Go to a concert  Go to a transgender convention Go to church Model in a fashion show Attend female-only/oriented events Perform on stage Go to work  Update: Bra fitting without breast forms Go to a support group meeting Get ears pierced Use public transportation (taxi, bus, rail)

Wearing inpluslady.

Actor/comedian Bill Hader (courtesy of Elaine Armen).

Adult Interrupted

After a rather exhausting week, I sat down in front of the television Friday evening to relax by watching a film. I browse the Dish Network listings and did not find anything familiar that I wanted to watch, so I dug a little deeper into the listings to see if anything caught my eye.

John Cusack is one of my favorite actors and I found him in a 2013 film titled Adult World. I had never of the film, but the description sounded interesting. Here is the plot description from Wikipedia (annotated by me):

"Recent college graduate Amy (Emma Roberts) believes she's destined to be a great poet, but instead winds up working at an adult bookstore. She meets one of her favorite poets, Rat Billings (John Cusack), and becomes his protégé."

So I gave it a go and found it enjoyable and surprised when about 20 or 30 minutes into the film, a transgender woman named Rubia (played by Armando Riesco, photo above) enters the story.

A few minutes later, the phone rings. Some perps broke into the cars in my sister's neighborhood and she asked me to move her car to a safer place (she can't do it herself because she is hospitalized). So I did her bidding and missed the rest of the film.

I added Adult World to my Netflix queue in case I don't catch on the Dish again.

 

 

 

Wearing Julia Jordan.

 

 

 

Actor Abe Tsuyoshi femulating in the Japanese television drama Moon Lovers (2010).

Authenticity Soon

It is hard to believe that in two weeks, I will be on the road on my way to Cape Cod to live authentically as a female full-time for a week. Past experience has taught me that Fantasia Fair week flies by and I will soon be returning home to live unauthentically as a male full-time for most of the time, so I will try to relish every female moment while I am in Provincetown.

If you are going to Fantasia Fair, I hope I will meet you there. I will be easy to find. Not because I will be the tallest woman in town (I won't be), but because I will be doing two workshops during the Fair.

On Tuesday afternoon, my so-called "Femulate Blog Party" will take place at 3 PM at the Boatslip. It will be a gathering of readers, followers and interested parties of the Femulate blog for the purpose of meeting all the femulators in person and to discuss the fine art of femulating.

Then on Thursday morning, I will join Jan Brown at 10 AM at the Boatslip where we will conduct a workshop called "Things You Can Do When You're All Dressed Up" and share our experiences about getting out into the wide world as females.

If you miss me at either workshop, I will attend most of the other big events during the week, specifically all the evening events and most, if not all of the weekday Keynote Addresses.

You will have the advantage over me, that is, you know what I look like, but I am clueless about what most of you look like, so if you see me, please say "Hello."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Actor Edward Everett Horton femulating in his first stage appearance, circa 1900.

Friday Fumbles

I have had a difficult time getting back on track after my vacation last week. As a result, posts here have been late. Instead of appearing at the crack of dawn (East Coast time), mid-morning or high noon has been more like it.

Fantasia Fair begins in 16 days and I am not as organized for it as I'd like to be. My Oz costume is still in a state of flux. I am not sure which outfits to bring. I have two workshops to prepare for. And do I want to perform in the Follies and/or do I want to model in the fashion show this year?

Trying to get in the groove, Jackson, a tooth issue and emergency dentist visit on Tuesday did not help.

Other Fumbles

During vacation, I started reading Fear and Loathing at Rolling Stone: The Essential Writing of Hunter S. Thompson and that has put me in an introspective mood.

Halloween is a “casual Friday” this year!

Diana's comments on my Take the Money and Run post indicate that the Hartford Gay & Lesbian Health Collective seem more supportive of transgender folks today than in the past, but $150 is still a little too rich for my blood.

Anybody recognize Dave Foley in my Being a Modern Lady post on Wednesday? His career intrigues me. He was the best femulator on Kid in the Hall and has been sort of typecast ever since playing other roles that involve femulation. Lucky guy!

 

 

 

Wearing Louis Vuitton.

 

 

 

Actor/comedian Dave Foley femulating in television’s Kid in the Hall.

The Times They Are a-Changin'

By Paula Gaikowski

Those were the words Bob Dylan belted out as baby boomers came of age and began to question the social order, while I at 10-years-old had a secret. The world was erupting outside, a country divided by war, freedom protests, and flower power. With this as my soundtrack, I stood in my room alone and confused, dressed in my sister’s clothes, staring into the mirror trying to make sense of these feelings. The freedom train was rolling, but it would be a long time before transgender people would get on board.

This past weekend was New England autumn at its best. It was cool and the foliage was brilliant the sun shined brightly and the scent of fallen leaves wafted thru the air. As I gathered with old friends at a lakeside cabin, it was exciting to reconnect and hear where life was taking them. One young lady who I had watched grow up over the years was now in grad school studying to be a speech pathologist. She came over for a visit and was enthusiastic and passionate about her chosen career. As she ticked off the different clients she had worked with I listened politely.

I perked up when she said “Perhaps, the best group I worked with were transgender.”

When I heard this I subconsciously thought all eyes would be on me, so I remained unresponsive and kept quiet for fear I might pass some innocent remark that could out me, such as, “I want to be a woman, help me, please!”

In all seriousness, what followed was a thoughtful conversation by the group of about eight people. What struck me was the lack of surprise by those present; hardly a progressive group, they all understood what being transgender meant and seemed genuinely interested in the young woman’s work with them. She even mentioned that this would be a positive addition to her resume because there was a growing demand. One person even mentioned a colleague who had a transgender daughter.

Transgender awareness has turned a corner. In this case professionals such as speech pathologists are receiving training for this recognized condition as part of their standard curriculum and a group of average people listened with encouraging interest. I contrast this with the views of the 1960s when the only terms for transgender persons were derogatory and we were the punch line for off-colored jokes and fodder for tabloids.

It’s encouraging to see all these positive changes and I am glad they happened in my lifetime. I wish they had happened sooner. It’s easy to play the game of “what might have been.” However, I have evolved to a point I never thought possible and have reached a level of self acceptance that gives me peace.

And that brings to mind the words of another 60s anthem.

“You can't always get what you want. But if you try sometimes, you just might find you get what you need.”

 

 

 

Wearing Alexis.

 

 

 

Manuel Arte femulates Jane Russell and Frankie Kein femulates Marilyn Monroe
at Faces in Santa Monica, California, 1986

Being a Modern Lady

Tuesday evening, I watched a new television show, a sort of a modern day My Fair Lady or Pygmalion, titled Selfie.

Here is its plot according to IMDb: "After being the subject of an embarrassing viral video, a self-involved 20-something enlists the help of a marketing expert to revamp her image in the real world."

Before her revamping, the young woman's wardrobe featured tight micro-miniskirts, revealing blouses, and sky-high heels with makeup and hairdo that reflected her wardrobe. She reminded me of some of my trans sisters and I admit that I saw some of myself in her image.

It got me thinking about my image. Is it not lady-like? Is it too immature? Too slutty? Too transy?

I can hear some of you responding, "Yes, yes, yes, yes!" But I am not so sure. I believe I am lady-like in general, but a little "if you got it, flaunt it" in a Kate Middleton way.

Just in case, I perused the Internet for assistance and turned up a couple of websites that can fine-tune being a lady: "Ten Tips for Being a Modern Lady" by Taryn Cox on The Daily Love and a wikiHow titled "How to Be a Lady."

 

 

 

Wearing Madeleine.

 

 

 

Grayson Perry, artist and femulator

Take the Money and Run

Four times, I have attended One Big Event, an annual formal dinner-dance. It is a fundraiser for a local gay and lesbian organization (Hartford Gay & Lesbian Health Collective) and affords an opportunity for everyone to dress to the nines… guys in tuxedos and gals in gowns (or vice versa) dining on rubber chicken and dancing to loud music.

First two times I attended, the event was held in a hotel and the ticket cost $100.

The third time I attended, they moved to a bigger venue, a convention center and the ticket price was bumped up to $125. The ticket still cost $125 last year, but this year, they bumped the price up to $150!

It is bad enough that they bumped up the price for no apparent reason, but I never felt very welcome by the folks running the event. The absence of a T in the name of the organization should have been a red flag.

Two years ago, the organization attempted to segregate the attending transgender women to a separate bathroom! Can you believe it? I found it unconscionable that a gay and lesbian organization would be so insensitive to transgender folks.

And each year, the organization’s photographer makes the rounds and takes photos of all the attendees including the transgender folks. And each year, the group manages to exclude photos of transgender folks from the photo slideshow of the event that appears on their website.

Just a coincidence, maybe, but the local newspaper that covers the event every year always includes photos of transgender folks in their report (my photo has appeared twice!).

I guess the newspaper is more open-minded than the gay and lesbian organization, which just takes our money and runs. Maybe I will take my money and run somewhere else.

 

 

 

Street style during Paris Fashion Week Spring 2015.

 

 

 

Actor Ned Birkin femulating in the 1993 British film The Cement Garden. When a male visitor asks why the young boy is dressing like a girl, his sister responds, “Girls can wear jeans and cut their hair short, wear shirts and boots, because it's OK to be a boy, but for a boy to look like a girl is degrading, because you think that being a girl is degrading. But secretly you'd love to know what it's like, wouldn't you? What it feels like for a girl?”

If a flat has a heel, is it still a flat?

What is it with women and shoes? I dunno, but I am a fan and own about 100 pairs. A few flats, a few boots, and the rest heels.

High heels were the second women’s garment that I ever tried on. Nylon stockings were the first. One thing led to another and after trying on a pair of Mommy’s nylons, I had to try on a pair of her high heel pumps to see how my nylon-clad legs looked in heels. (They looked spectacular!)

Although I am not Italian and no longer a girl, I enjoyed reading Sara Porro’s “The Italian Girl’s Guide to Walking in Heels.” I think you will enjoy it, too.

Girls occasionally ask me where to buy large size women’s shoes. I compiled a list a few years ago, however, it may be out of date today (if I could find it).To the rescue comes Alexzander of House of Alexzander fame with a current list of large size women’s shoe sources.

Regarding Alexzander’s list, I only have experience with one source on the list: Payless. I concur with Alexzander’s take on that shoe, but wish to add that Payless does have shoes from fashion designers (like Christian Siriano), whose shoe designs are not always “basic.”

And by the way, when does a flat become a heel? If a flat has a heel, is it still a flat?

 

 

 

Wearing Red Valentino.

 

 

 

Male model Alex Wetter.

Having a good time!

Regular Femulate readers may have noticed the run of toons this week instead of the usual verbiage from your old femulator. I queued up the toons up last week for Blogger to automatically post them while I vacationed on Lake Winnipesaukee with Mrs. Stana to celebrate our wedding anniversary.

We arrived back in Finitesimal yesterday afternoon and will return to our regular schedule as soon as we herd all the cats and weed all the mail.

Frocked!

Welcome to the club!

Which Way?

Bikini Envy

Teaching a New Drag Old Tricks