My Girls

Cyrsti wrote about " breast size obsessions in cross dressers and transgender women" yesterday, which got me thinking about my "girls."

I never obsessed about having big breasts.

I was cursed/blessed with feminine breasts. In boy mode, I obsessed about hiding them. But in girl mode, I was proud of my natural breasts. I was happy with their size, so I never wore any padding or falsies (unless I was trying to squeeze my breasts together for enhanced cleavage).

The only problem is that for decades, I wore the wrong size bra --- a size too small. My bra was was making my breasts appear smaller than their natural size.

When I finally submitted to a bra fitting by a professional, I discovered the error of my ways and began wearing the correct size bras, which displayed my breasts as nature had intended.

All good except some tops and dresses that used to fit the flatter-chested me, no longer fitted the more bosomy me, but such is life!

 

 

 

Wearing Diane von Furstenberg.

 

 

 

Actor Michael Andrews femulating in that television movie Murder Me, Murder You (1983).

Reducing

I have made three pilgrimages to Provincetown to attend Fantasia Fair and I overpacked each time I went!

The first time I brought eight bags! I think that was excusable because I had no idea what to expect, so I was prepared for anything. I should have learned something after that first trip, but I still overdid it the second and third trips.

My goal is to reduce the baggage this year.  I drive rather than fly to Provincetown, so there is no monetary incentive to cut down on the number (and weight) of the bags, but there is an incentive to save time by packing and unpacking less.

With that in mind, I created a spreadsheet listing all the day and evening events during Fantasia Fair and the outfit I plan to wear to each event. To tell the truth, I created a spreadsheet for my second and third trips, but it did not help much. Being a fashionista, the all the events listed in my spreadsheet require different outfits!

I always take too many shoes and too much jewelry and end up not using all the shoes and jewelry I bring. So far, I managed to narrow the shoes down to four pairs this year. I may add another pair as soon as I figure out which shoes to wear with my Oz costume.

I can also cut down on the quantity of my daywear by mixing and matching tops and bottoms. So I will work on that.

I could wear the same outfit more than once, but that might shock a few people!

And do I really need to bring my tackle box overflowing with makeup?

 

 

 

Wearing Elie Tahari (jacket) and Greylin (skirt).

 

 

 

Actor Michael Andrews femulating in the film Malibu Express (1985).

Room for You in the Dressing Room

Last Monday, I wrote about shopping in person and left out a couple of stores where I have shopped en femme recently and used the dressing room without an issue: Kohl's and Lane Bryant.

Also, I mentioned that when I try something on in the store en femme, I always ask a salesperson where the dressing room is located, even if I know where it is. That way, if somebody complains about a “male” in the female dressing room, I can say that the store gave me permission.

I think that is good advice, but I don't always follow it. If I am feeling absolutely gorgeous and passing with abandon, I just sashay into the nearest dressing room without asking for directions. (Why ruin the mood!)  

 

 

 

Wearing Alice + Olivia.

 

 

 

Richie Rich femulating in Richie Rich Bank Book (1975).

Sibling Rivalry

 

 

 

Wearing Jessica Simpson.

 

 

 

Actor Karen Dior/Geoffrey Gann (right) femulating
in television’s Xena Warrior Princess (1997).

My Shopping Sites

On Tuesday, Paula left the following comment: Love your style; please share your secrets with us and post your favorite on line shopping sites!

I answered the first part of her request yesterday (my secrets) and will answer the second part of her request today.

Since I prefer to try on items en femme before I purchase them, I use the websites to scope out what is currently available at the brick and mortar stores before I go shopping en femme. I almost never buy anything online from a store that I can visit in person, but I almost always check out their websites beforehand.

One problem with that strategy is that the brick and mortar store may not have everything that is online, but when that occurs, I usually find something else that is just as nice.

On the other hand, there are websites that do not have brick and mortar stores where I do purchase items without being able to try them on first. My success rate with these online-only stores is about 50%. Either the item does not fit correctly or I do not like the way the item looks on moi.

Although, many of these websites make it easy to return items (sometimes for free), I have been buying less from these websites lately because of the lack of success rate and the resulting return issues.

These days, my go-to online-only stores are Avon, ideel (formerly ideeli) and Nine West.

Avon - Yes, the Avon lady people sell very nice clothing at reasonable prices and I have been buying more from them lately. And my success rate with Avon is very high, probably around 90%. By the way, I am an Avon lady and receive a discount on items I buy, but no so much so that the price sways me to buy stuff I would not buy otherwise.

ideel - ideeli sold nice close-out clothing at bargain prices and I purchased items from them frequently. Then they got bought out, changed their name to ideeli, increased their prices and beheaded their models. Since then, I have bought little from them and have a $60 credit that has been sitting there for months, but I still visit their website frequently hoping for the best.

Nine West - They have a vast selection of shoes and their sizes are consistent, but their prices are high, so I only indulge when they have a sale, which is often. By the way, Nine West does have a local brick and mortar store, but they only stock sizes smaller than my size, so their brick and mortar store is useless to me.

As for brick and mortar stores I check out online before I show up in person, they are Dress Barn, Fashion to Figure, Nine West, and Payless. I also check out Macy's and JCPenney, but their inventory is so huge that what I see online often does not match what is in the store, so I usually don't bother unless I am looking for something special.

DressBarn also known as DressBarn - This is one of my favorite clothing stores. Their styles are working girl oriented, but their sizes are a little inconsistent, so I always go to the store to try on what I see online. And, by the way, they are very trans friendly!

Fashion to Figure - This is my other favorite clothing store. They specialize in larger sizes and their styles are younger and sexier than DressBarn. But like DressBarn, their sizes are all over the place, so an in person visit is recommended.
 
Payless - This shoe store has a nice selection of reasonably-priced shoes in the larger sizes that I require. However, their sizes are very inconsistent. I own Payless shoes ranging from size 10.5 to size 13 that all fit, so going to the store and trying on their shoes is a must in order to get the right size.

That's all she wrote. Again, if you have any questions, please ask (stana-stana at sbcglobal.net).

 

 

 

Wearing Rachel Zoe (dress), Eugenia Kim (hat), 10 Crosby (booties) and (ALC)bag.

 

 

 

Actor Stephen-Fry femulating in British television’s Jeeves and Wooster (1993).

My Secrets

On Tuesday, Paula left the following comment: Love your style; please share your secrets with us and post your favorite on line shopping sites!

I had to think about my "secrets" because most of what I do style-wise comes naturally to me. I don't think about it, I just do it. And this is what I do. 

Emphasize your assets.

My legs are my best assets, so I show them off by wearing short skirts and high heels. Heels make my legs even more shapely and short skirts reveal the results.

And there is some truth when I say, "My skirt's not too short – my legs are too long! " I have resigned myself to the fact that the styles I prefer are going to be on the short side due to my leg length.

Dress for your body's age, not your calendar age.

My arms are svelte enough for sleeveless sheaths and my legs are toned enough for short hemlines, so I show off what I've got (while I've still got it).

When in doubt, wear nude pumps.

Matched to my skin tone, they're a safe bet and they make my legs look even longer.

If it works, keep working with it.

When I find a style that looks good on me, I become a fan of that style and populate my wardrobe with more examples of that style. For example, I discovered that I look good in wrap dresses and as a result, I now own an assortment of wrap dresses.

On the other hand, keep an open mind. When you are shopping, try on styles that are not in your style book. You never know – it may look great on you. That's how I discovered that jumpsuits belong in my style book.

Never buy a boring coat.

"Outerwear should never be an afterthought," says Holmes & Yang co-designer Jeanne Yang. "So many people only see you in your coat—if you're not wearing something great underneath your trench, they'll never even know!"

With that thought in mind, fur coats are never boring. I own two full-length fur coats and a fur jacket. And I love animals, so all my furs are fake.

Own something in animal print.

Animal prints are timeless, racy enough, and always glamorous. I own a variety of animal print clothing and accessories.

Scarves are not for hiding.

Scarves are recommended for girls like us to hide our Adam's apple. I don't have much of an Adam's apple, so I never wore scarves... until about five years ago, when I came across my dear departed Mother's stash of scarves. One girls' night out, I wore one of her scarves in her honor; I liked the look and began collecting and wearing my own stash of scarves.

Bigger jewelry is better jewelry.

Most girls like us are proportionally larger than cisgender girls. As a result, some of the jewelry designed for cis-girls is proportionally too small for us. So when I shop for jewelry, I shop for jewelry that is bigger rather than smaller.

***

If you have any questions about my secrets or anything else, please ask (stana-stana at sbcglobal.net). In another Femulate, I will deal with the second part of Paula's comment and discuss my favorite on-line shopping sites.

(Thanks to InStyle.com for helping me bring out my secrets.)

 

 

 

Wearing Cynthia Rowley.

 

 

 

Gaurav Ghera femulates as Mrs. Pammi Pyarelai on Indian television (2013-15).

Caveat Emptor: Pinterest

I enjoy viewing the transgender images on Pinterest and have posted a few myself. But some of the transgirls images on Pinterest are too good to be true. I have seen images of so-called transgirls on Pinterest that I know for a fact are not trans, so it makes me wonder about the validity of the other transgirl images. (One bad Adam's apple spoils the whole bunch.) It does not mean that I will stop visiting Pinterest, but I will view the transgirls images with a grain of salt.

 

 

 

Wearing Diane von Furstenberg.

 

 

 

Painter Francis Bacon femulating in the 1930s.

Pet Peeves

I hate clothing catalogs in print or online, that display clothing just hanging there in mid-air instead of on a model. In midair, you see how the clothing looks on a hanger in your closet, but on a model, you see how the clothing hangs on a real person.

I guess they can claim that by not using a model, they can pass along the savings to the customer, but I prefer models modeling clothing, not hangers!

And what about the catalogs that do use models, yet crop their heads in the catalogs? What's with that?

One of my favorite online clothiers, ideel (formerly ideeli), recently switched to cropped-head models and since they did that, I spend a lot less time perusing what they have for sale. A cropped-head model is a lot less attractive than one with a head on her shoulders.

And go figure why they go through the trouble of hiring a model to show the clothes and then crop her head?

 

 

 

Wearing Le Redoute.

 

 

 

Mrs. Vineeth, a femulator from Kerala, India

Shopping En Personne

A dressing room selfie.

In light of Paula's post about buying her first dress, I composed some thoughts about shopping for those of you who are venturing out for the first time.

If you plan to try on the clothing before purchasing it, shopping en femme is better than shopping en homme because en femme, you get a better idea how the clothing will fit and look.

En homme, the clothing may not fit at all depending on what shapewear you wear en femme. And even if the clothing fits en homme, you still will see a "man in a dress" in the mirror and may reject purchasing the item because you don't like the way it looks. More than once, I tried something on en homme that was borderline, purchased it anyway and was very glad that I didn't reject it because it looked great on me en femme.

When I try something on in the store en homme, I always ask a salesperson if it is OK and I have never been turned down. (The worst thing that ever happened to me was back in the Dark Ages when a JCPenney saleswoman asked me to use the men's dressing room to try on a girdle.)

When I try something on in the store en femme, I always ask a salesperson where the dressing room is located, even if I know where it is. I always ask in order to protect myself in case someone complains about a male in the women's dressing room. If that ever happens, I can respond that the store gave me permission. FYI, I have never run into this problem, but I always ask anyway.

Here are some of the stores where I shopped recently and used the dressing room (if any) without an issue (an asterisk indicates that I have done so en femme and en homme, while no asterisk indicates that I have only done so en femme) : Claire's*, DressBarn*, Fashion to Figure, JCPenney*, LOFT, M·A·C*, Macy's*, Nordstrom, Payless*, Sears*, Sephora*, Talbots, The Limited, Victoria's Secret*.

FYI, I shop in Connecticut; your mileage may vary depending on where you shop.

 

 

 

Wearing Nine West.

 

 

 

Actors femulating in the 2014 French film Les nuits d'été.
(Thanks to Aunty Marlena for the heads-up about this film.)

Starting Out

By Paula Gaikowski

We all started out “borrowing” our sisters’ and mothers’ clothes as we grew up struggling with duality of ourselves. We depart from the designation of youthful curiosity and exploration when a spark inside of us calls out to us louder and louder. I’m speaking of that moment of self-identity when you realize that you want your own clothes.

I was 22 and had just started my new job with a high-tech company in Clifton, New Jersey. There was a dress shop in town that I walked by each day during my lunch time walks. It was an old fashioned kind of place that you don’t see any more, locally owned and operated.

It was the 80’s, so think Designing Women style dresses (sigh). Well, there were all kinds in the window, but one caught my eye --- a blue print dress with a belted waist and lace collar.

After several days, I decided that I had to have it. As it was early October, the Halloween excuse was perfect.

It took several days of trying to even go into the store. I have to laugh now --- like a secret agent I made sure none of my colleagues were out in the area and I doubled back a couple of times in front of the store.

Finally I opened the door and a loud bell deliberately announced my arrival. Sheepishly, I made my way toward the back of the store and a middle-aged lady looked over the rim of her glasses appraisingly. My heart was pounding; my face was red as I stammered out a request for the dress in the window.

She was very pleasant and settled me down. She took my measurements, determined I was a size 16, and pulled a similar dress in my size from the rack. She then proceeded to sell me an expensive bra and then a girdle along with a pair of my first Hanes Silk Reflections, the brand I still wear today. Looking back, I think she saw right through me and was an expert saleswoman.

I walked back to my car and hid my purchase watchfully as if I had just bought something illegal.

I never wore the dress outside my bedroom. The dress and foundations would be lost in one of the Great Purges of the 80’s. However, an important step had been taken in my journey: I bought my first dress!

 

 

 

Wearing MyHabit.

 

 

 

The always lovely Britney Smith.