Smile Pretty

By Paula Gaikowski

I enjoy corny jokes and still chuckle when I hear this one.

How can you tell who the crossdresser is at the family reunion? He’s the only one who knows how to work the self-timer on the camera!

Yes, it’s true we love to take pictures.

How far it’s all come in the last 20 years! I remember driving several towns away to have film developed for fear someone would recognize me. I still enjoying seeing those now vintage photos that were scanned and then uploaded onto bulletin boards followed by that new thing called the Internet.

In 1999, I had a professional makeover and photoshoot with Jamie Austin and at that moment, the picture-taking floodgates opened. Okay --- enough about the ole days, Auntie Paula!

Today we have digital cameras with the capability to take hundreds of photos and see them instantly.

Pictures provide us with an invaluable tool to guide us through our evolution towards womanhood. By looking back, we can see the mistakes we’ve made, but also recognize the clothes and accessories that made us look better.

Pictures help us build confidence and raise our self-esteem and create a personality that we can use online to build friendships and community. During times when I can’t express Paula, I look to my photos for a pick-me-up.

I’d like to share some of the tips and techniques I use to get better photos.

First, learn about your camera. Don’t wait until you are all dolled-up and then start experimenting. Get familiar with that self-timer, read the manual and learn about the different features.

Next, find the area you’ll use for picture-taking. A light-colored wall without clutter works well. There also should be plenty of natural light or indirect artificial light. Light equals glamour. I sometimes use two desk lamps reflected off the walls to produce light.

Many digital cameras can be mounted on a tripod. Investing in a large tripod is not necessary. I found this Gorilla Pod at Wal-Mart and it’s priceless in helping to get good shots at home or away.

When you are in boy mode and the pressure is off, start taking some practice shots to get your settings and lighting correct.

I had trouble finding poses that were feminine and natural. So I began noting how women news anchors pose themselves when standing. That is how I learned these basic poses:

• My basic go to pose is simple hands behind my back and one foot in back of the other.
• Front-standing with feet together and hands crossed above hips.
• Ladylike with one foot forward and the other leg back and turned to the side. You’re your hands above your hips, cupped or slightly opened. Don’t be afraid to act girly --- let her out!
• Sitting. The key to a ladylike posture are the curves. Your body should form an understated “S” shape. This is critical for a feminine posture when standing also.

You’ll notice women keep their hands cupped or have their fingers curled inward while holding their hands idle. Women also tend to keep their hands above their waist.
Become an observer of women. Find a mentor and note her movements and gestures. Then practice and don’t be afraid to act feminine.

When I first started going out in public, I was hesitant to act feminine, then it dawned on me. “You’re wearing a dress, idiot! Of course, I should act feminine.”

Observe yourself in front of a mirror as if you were rehearsing lines in play. Let your feminine nature come to the surface. Use the above poses as a starting point, however, don’t become mechanical --- let your inner girl take over. In photos, being overly feminine plays out well.

Photos taken from a slightly elevated level seem to look better, compare this photo verses this one and you’ll see the difference. Use your new mini tripod to get a slightly elevated view.

I know you have heard it before and I’ll say it again “Smile”. Pictures where you are smiling come out much better.

Let’s talk about taking pictures when we are out in public. Having a keepsake photo of that wonderful occasion you attended as woman is precious.

When taking a souvenir photo select a setting that tells a story. Stand near a sign or use a display to show the viewer where you are. At restaurants, the entrance works well. At museums or stores, displays tell a story.

I used to feel very self-conscious about taking my photo in public or asking someone to take my photo en femme. Nevertheless, I overcame my inhibitions about asking someone to take my photo and found that like all of my other fears and worries when it came to femulating, they were unfounded. Sales associates are always happy to oblige and at restaurants, the waitstaff is eager to please. If outdoors, I’ll always ask a young woman to take a photo and have never been turned down and typically, had friendly conversations afterward.

Getting high-quality photos take practice and more practice. With digital photography, we can make adjustments as we go and delete the shots we don’t like. Accept the fact right now that many of your photos are going to look terrible. On the other hand, from the many comes one, yes, one great shot --- a second caught in time when it all comes together. The iconic shot of the flag rising on Iwo Jima was 1/400 of a second taken over the shoulder of a war correspondent. Experiment and have fun using your photography to express yourself and grow as woman.

My Jamie Austin photos changed my life. They showed what I could achieve if I worked at it. They gave me assurance that I could look good as a woman.

As I started taking more photos, my attitude and confidence increased. It was work, but it was satisfying and enjoyable to see myself mature into a woman. It was all part of being a woman, that is, learning how to dress, accessorize, style my hair and do makeup. In time I not only saw a positive female image emerge, but I personally changed and evolved also.

Please remember to enjoy the journey, the practice, the friendships, the accomplishments and even the failures. In the end, it’s not the photo that’s important, it’s the big picture you need to focus on.

 

 

 

Wearing Milly.

 

 

 

Actor Andrew Garfield femulating in Arcade Fire’s 2014 music video We Exist.

Playing the Girl’s Part

Did you do this?

As a teenager in the 1960s, I often sang along with songs as they played on the radio. My favorite sing-along songs were tunes sung by girl groups like The Crystals, The Shangri-Las, The Chiffons, The Supremes, and The Shirelles.

It never occurred to me that merrily singing along to lyrics like “One fine day, you’re gonna want me for your girl” was a wee bit incongruous. I never thought twice about doing all the hand motions while singing “Ooh, baby, baby, where did our love go?” and imagining myself wearing a floor-length sequins evening gown.

Didn’t the other guys in the neighborhood do that?

I discovered that the guys didn’t do that, but that the girls in the neighborhood did!

I was a little confused, but I liked playing the girl’s part, so I continued doing so. And the rest is her story.

 

 

 

Wearing Madeleine.

 

 

 

Actor Michael Stoyanov femulating in 1991.

9 Million

The blog's hit counter climbed past the 9 million mark on Monday!

When I started this blog back in the winter of 2007, I never dreamed the blog would become so popular. I just wanted to encourage (by example) other girls like me to flee the closet and experience the world as women.

I have achieved that goal.

My correspondence and face-to-face encounters reveal that many girls who never considered going out before were inspired by this blog to go out and are very happy that they did. They only regret that they waited so long to take that first step (been there, done that).

I wonder how many other success stories there are that I never heard about? If you have a success story, you are welcome to tell it here and inspire even more girls to live the rest of their lives as women.

You go, girls!

 

 

 

Wearing Metrostyle.

 

 

 

Swedish singer Yukiro Dravarious femulates all day and all of the night in Tokyo.

Philately

Recently, I renewed my interest in stamp collecting.

My mother collected and encouraged me to collect, so I began collecting as a pre-teen and continued well into my mid-teens until life got in the way.

In the interim, I inherited my mother’s collection and a collection of an uncle, who I did not know collected until he passed on and we discovered his collection among his belongings.

About two years ago, I finally got around to see what I had inherited. There were some interesting items, but I did not strike it rich. However, I did catch the bug to start collecting again and have basically been spending a few hours each week organizing what I had in hand and adding a few items from here and there.

As luck would have it, the American Philatelic Society (APS) is having their annual StampShow just up the road in Hartford later this month. From what I gather, the StampShow is a real big event, the stamp collector’s equivalent of ham radio’s Hamvention and I plan to attend one day of the show.

And I plan to attend en femme.

Never having attended StampShow or any other big stamp collector events, I am not sure how to dress. Casual, business casual, or business formal?

I looked all over the Internet for photos of women attending StampShow to get an idea what women wear there, but I have not found much because similar to ham radio, women are in the minority in the stamp collecting world.

From the few photos I did find, I am guessing “business casual,” but I am not sure, so if any of you are stamp collectors and have attended StampShow in the past, please pass along what the average woman wears there.

I want to fit in and not stand out.

Wearing Metrostyle.

Actor James Lecesne femulating on stage in Diary of a Mad Playwright in 2010.

The Funnies

I am on vacation this week, so instead of new original content each day, I will post old original content, also known as "The Best of Femulate."

 

Like Father; Like Daughter

I am on vacation this week, so instead of new original content each day, I will post old original content, also known as "The Best of Femulate."

Call me "Jamie."

It is not my real name; it’s the name I go by when I dress up like a boy.

I dress like a boy because I am a crossdresser. I prefer male clothing to female clothing. In addition, I try to act like a boy. I want to be masculine, not feminine.

I want to be able to go out in society and pass as a male, but my female characteristics are difficult to disguise, so passing is a tough goal to achieve. I will keep on trying to improve my presentation because I know it can be done.

Many crossdressers have websites where they display photos of themselves crossdressed and many of the photos are very convincing. These females look just like boys, so I know passing is possible. I may not be able to fool all of the people all of the time, but it would be nice if I could fool some of the people some of the time.

Also, there are websites that provide information on how to pass as a male. They describe how to walk, talk, and act like a boy; how to style your hair to look like a boy; what undergarments to wear to achieve a male form; etc., etc. There are also online stores that cater to crossdressers where you can buy everything you need to "express your masculine side."

My crossdressing started around the age of puberty. I don't know where the idea came from; it just popped in my head while I was in the bathroom getting ready to take a shower and there was one of Dad's suits hanging on the shower curtain rod.

That pinstriped suit called my name and I could not resist trying it on. It fit me like a glove. I felt so masculine wearing it and I could not take my eyes off myself preening in the full-length mirror mounted on the bathroom door.

Suddenly, I felt very guilty and was worried that I might be caught, so I slipped out of the suit as quickly as possible, hung it back on its hangar, and took a cold shower.

Since then, I dress in my Dad's and brother's clothes whenever I am home alone.

I prefer my brother's clothes because he is only two years older than I, so he dresses like a boy my age dresses, whereas my Dad's clothes are more adult, i.e., clothing that an adult male wears.

But Dad's wardrobe includes items that my brother's wardrobe does not, so when I dress, I borrow items from both my Dad and my brother. For example, my brother has no suits, whereas Dad has six suits and I guess after that first crossdressing experience in the bathroom, I have a thing for suits.

My favorite suit is one Dad wears when he and Mom go out to a fancy restaurant or to a dinner party. I like it because it has a more youthful look than his other suits, which are more conservative, i.e., the kinds of suits you wear to the office or to church.

Dad claims that that suit is a "channel knock-off," whatever that means? The fabric of the suit is a rosy pink boucle with blue undertones. It has a cropped jacket with four buttons and four pockets and a pencil skirt that’s 20 inches long.

Dad also has a matching pair of pink pumps with a 4-inch stiletto heel; he looks so masculine in that outfit! And, wow, my Dad has great legs; he sure shows them off in that suit with its skirt about four inches above his knees, wearing off-white pantyhose perched on those 4-inch pumps.

Dad is a beautiful male. He is a platinum blonde and always looks great no matter what hairdo he wears. His makeup skills are excellent, too, with huge eyes and full pouty lips.

I try to emulate Dad when I crossdress. And sometimes when I do my makeup just so, I look a lot like him.

 

 

 

British television personality Louis Walsh femulates British television personality Cheryl Cole.

 

 

 

Wearing Cheryl Cole.

my en femme encounters with Bond, James Bond

Seems like James Bond is everywhere these days. A new Bond film came out recently, there are Bond movie marathons on the tube, and the new issue of Mad Classics has a retrospective of Mad magazine parodies of the old Bond flicks.

The Mad retrospective caused me to recall some things trans-related to James Bond that influenced me when I was a newbie femulator.

I can never forget the opening sequence of Thunderball, which had the bad guy disguised as his wife purportedly attending his own funeral.

The femulation was in two consecutive scenes. In the first scene, I am sure that the bad guy en femme was actually played by a woman because you can catch a glimpse of an attractive blonde under the thin veil covering her face, but in the second scene, the veil has suddenly became thicker and you cannot see the features of the grieving "widow" as she fights Bond and is revealed as male. Despite the obvious (to me), I always fantasized that the leggy blonde in the first scene was the bad guy en femme.

[Update: According to IMDB, an actress named Rose Alba is playing the role initially and a stuntman named Bob Simmons plays the "widow" during the fight.]

Another trans-related Bond memory actually appeared in a Mad musical parody of the Sean Connery Bond films (Mad #94, April 1965).

In the beginning of the parody (click on image above to magnify it), a bevy of scantily clad female admirers surround Bond, while another female stands to the side admiring Bond's revolver. Bond asks why the she is admiring his revolver and not him.

The female reveals that "she" is actually agent 008 in training and that his girdle is killing him. The secret agent in training was not very attractive, but he was wearing a wig, dress, and a girdle and that definitely was of interest to me.

Finally, I recall another comic book parody loosely based on the Bond films. The spy in this parody was gay and named Jamie. He goes to a hair salon for some work unaware that the salon is run by the enemy.

While under the hair dryer, the hair stylist puts him under a spell that reveals his sub-conscious feelings that he really wants to be a woman. He then undergoes a makeover and soon appears seated in the hair salon chair dressed as a pretty leggy blonde in a short dress and high heels with the other hair stylists gushing over him about how fabulous "she" looks.

When Jamie returns to spy headquarters en femme, his superior is aghast, but he has a cure, i.e., a sexual encounter with a female. Sure enough, the cure works and soon the now macho Jamie confronts the brains behind the enemy operation that transformed him into a woman: his mother.

As you can imagine, I read that comic book over and over again and wished I could be so lucky as to walk into the enemy's hair salon.

By the way, this story appeared in a one-shot comic book in the mid- to late-1960s. I lost the book in a purge a long time ago. I have no idea who published it or what was the name of the comic book, but I do recall that the book contained two stories and they appeared throughout the book with one story appearing on the top half of each page, while the other story appeared on the bottom half of each page.

If anyone can provide any other information about this comic book I would greatly appreciate it, so that I can track down a copy to add to my collection.)

 

 

 

Kuranosuke cosplay by Feeracie.

 

 

 

Wearing DailyLook.

What’s “feminine” anyway?

I am on vacation this week, so instead of new original content each day, I will post old original content, also known as "The Best of Femulate."

Man Carrying Purse

Whenever I recount my trans biography (like at outreach), I usually mention that as a youngster, I participated in sports (baseball and football) and played "boy games" (cowboys, war, spacemen, etc.). I felt that I was a typical boy and I enjoyed doing "boy things," unlike many of my trans sisters, who as children, hated "boy things" and preferred "girl things."

I also mention in my bio that despite my participation and enjoyment of those boy things, other boys called me names like "sissy," "fairy," "faggot," etc., which indicated to me that I was not necessarily all the boy I thought I was.

This was not just a case of bullies using random offensive names to raise my ire. Even a few of my friends told me that I was not acting like a boy at a 100% level and that I should do something about it.

I wondered if there was something in my mannerisms or speech that caused their reaction? I was not intentionally acting or speaking in an affected manner. Rather, I was speaking and acting in my natural manner, which I did not feel was feminine.

The fact that even friends told me that something was amiss indicated that something really was amiss, but I was clueless. I had no idea what I had to do differently to be more boy-like. So, I continued acting the same way I always acted and if someone called me a name, I hit them with my purse.

Even in high school, college, and law school, I occasionally ran into guys, who commented on my particular flavor of masculinity, but I just shrugged them off and kept on truckin'. By then, I was crossdressing in secret and only coming out en femme for Halloween including an appearance in drag at a Halloween party in law school.

I will never forget a friend of mine at that party telling me that he never realized how feminine my speaking and mannerisms were until he saw me in drag. He indicated that my female costume was a perfect fit for my normal mannerisms and speech.

After mentioning this story at outreach one time, one of the students said that my mannerisms were feminine and that my friends and acquaintances had been in the ballpark in their estimation of me.

Yet, nothing has changed. I still do not affect a feminine persona. I still act naturally and no differently whether in boy mode or girl mode.

I admit that I do try to walk more like a woman when I am en femme and I talk more softly when I femulate, but most of what you get is the genuine me. And I am not changing a thing.

 

 

 

Femulating contestant performing during the talent competition at the Covington County (Mississippi) Hospital womanless beauty pageant, 2012.

 

 

 

Wearing Lover (dress) and Rebecca Minkoff (bag).

Why would anyone want to be a woman?

I am on vacation this week, so instead of new original content each day, I will post old original content, also known as "The Best of Femulate."

Reading "Why I Decided To Become A Woman" yesterday reminded me of an encounter I had with an old friend last May at the Dayton Hamvention.

At Dayton, I sought out old ham radio friends and acquaintances in order to come out to them.

One friend, who I had known for over 30 years was pleased to see me once he recognized me en femme.

He listened attentively to my story. Then he asked some questions, which I answered.

Finally he said to me, "Why would anyone want to be a woman?"

My jaw dropped. I felt like everything I had said to him had gone in one ear and out the other.

It was not a choice. I didn't decide one day that I needed a change of pace and would become a woman. I didn't decide to become transgender to spice up my life.

Life would be so much easier if I was not transgender... if I was not a woman who found herself in a male body.

Like Joy Ladin wrote, "There’s nothing so bad about being a man... as long as you’re a man.”

I'm certainly not a man. That explains why I feel uncomfortable when en homme, but at ease when en femme. 

And so it goes.

 

 

 

Professional femulator circa 1955 (I love her gown!) 

 

 

 

Wearing Alice and Olivia.

Call Me Sissy

I am on vacation this week, so instead of new original content each day, I will post old original content, also known as "The Best of Femulate."

According to my recollection, the first negative word ever hurled at me was "sissy."

"Sissy" according to The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, Third Edition is "a boy or man regarded as effeminate."

To illuminate that definition, the dictionary defines "effeminate" as "having qualities or characteristics more often associated with women than men; characterized by weakness and excessive refinement."

Yes - that's me. The dictionary could print an image of me next to the printed words to illustrate the definition.

The thing is that the first time I was called a sissy, I had no idea that I was one. All I knew was that I was "me" and I was not intentionally emulating females.

But the name-calling continued. And then there was bullying.

So I figured something was wrong with me and when things really got bad, I eschewed anything feminine.

After things settled down, I went back to my old ways and was myself again comfortably picking and choosing what I liked from the masculine and feminine aisles in that big department store called "Life."

Older and wiser, I eventually ignored the taunting, learned to embrace my self, and became my own man or should I say "woman."

Actually, I am somewhere in between. Circumstances prevent me from being a woman all the time. Some of the time, I am a feminine man and some of the time, I am a feminine woman, so you can call me "sissy;" it's a good fit.

 

 

 

Charlie femulating circa 1910.

 

 

 

Wearing Ryu.

Pejic Comes Out!

This just in; thanks to Patty for passing it along to me from The Huffington Post:

“Super model Andreja Pejic, formally known as Andrej Pejic, has come out as transgender.

“A statement emailed to The Huffington Post by GLAAD notes, Pejic ‘will only be modeling women's clothing going forward and has received support from her agency, friends and family.’"

Read the rest of the story here.

By the way, I love how she feminized her male name by simply adding an “a” to it!