and Dad lent me the purse

 

 

 

Wearing Tom Ford (sandals), JAR (earrings), Jil Sander (top)
and Amarcord Vintage-Fashion (pants).

 

 

 

Actors femulating on stage in Pageant: The Musical in New York City, 2014.

Got Support?

Jan Brown passed along a valuable online tool for folks seeking GLBT support and resources: GLBT Near Me. Enter your ZIP Code and how many miles you are willing to travel from your ZIP Code to get support. Then select a category, for example, "Transgender, and click on the Search button. In response, the web tool returns a list of resources that fit the parameters you entered. Very cool and very useful!

 

 

 

Wearing Daily Look.

 

 

 

Recent womanless beauty pageant contestant.

Beatlemania

I loved The Beach Boys' music first, then I fell in love with The Beatles' music. I have been a Beatlemaniac ever since.

During the height of Beatlemania, I acted indifferently towards The Fab Four. My indifference was part of my disguise.

I worried that if I showed any interest in The Beatles, people would perceive that as a girly thing. Next thing you know, they would put two and two together and figure out that if I was doing girly things, then I must be girly. The fact that I had feminine speech and mannerisms would just confirm their conclusion.

In my late teens, I abandoned my disguise (because it was not working) and was completely open about my Beatlemania. I bought all their LPs, 45s, EPs, tapes, CDs, DVDs and as many bootlegs as I could find. When I visited the UK in the mid-1980s, I found Abbey Road and had my photo taken crossing the famous crosswalk. And on and on and on.

Anyway, I finally saw The Beatles in person on Saturday night! Well, more like one-quarter of The Beatles or one-half of the surviving Beatles.

Ringo Starr performed at a local concert hall and I had almost a front row seat to see the show. I had a wonderful time and enjoyed the show immensely.

Two things stuck out in my mind about the show.

• Ringo is petite. He is short and amazingly thin. When he came out on the stage, I thought that he looked more like a college kid than a 72-year-old.
• Although most of the audience were my peers, there were a lot of younger people in the crowd who seemed to be big fans. For example, in the row in front of me there were three girls in their late teens or early 20s who twisted and shouted throughout the show and knew all the words to all the songs --- not just the words of The Beatles' tunes that Ringo sang, but his solo hits and non-hits as well!

So, goo goo g'joob.

 

 

 

Wearing Brahmin.

 

 

 

 

Femulate reader Fiona femulating at Royal Ascot.

DMV Neanderthals

This beautiful teenager was hassled by the South Carolina DMV after passing the driver's license test and waiting to be photographed for the license. Chase Culpepper, who wears makeup and androgynous or girls’ clothing on a regular basis, was told to remove the makeup and “look more like a boy" for the photo.

According to a DMV spokesperson, the DMV works with law enforcement on these decisions. "If it says male [on the license], that's what they're gonna look for. They expect the photo to be of a man."

I guess it's time to introduce those folks to the 21st Century!

Meanwhile, Transgender Legal Defense & Education Fund (TLDEF) is on the case.

 

 

 

Wearing Shoshanna.

 

 

 

Barney Rubble and Fred Flintstone, before and after.
Note that they are wearing dresses before and after!

Signs

In response to my clip-on earrings post on Monday, Robin wrote urging me to get my ears pierced. She mentioned that if the pain of getting my ears pieced was the issue, I had nothing to fear but ear fear itself, because the pain "was nothing."

I replied that I usually get my teeth fixed without Novocain or whatever they use these days, so pain is not an issue.. Rather, my spouse is the issue.

She is not thrilled with the fact that her husband is a woman, but she realizes that I must let my girl out for air once in awhile. I appreciate that she is OK with me being the authentic me some of the time, but I don't want to rub her nose in it.

Everyday, she sees signs that remind her that her husband is a woman.

We share a walk-in closet and as she enters it, she encounters a rack now half full of her husband's dresses, skirts, blouses, and slacks. On the floor below those pretty things are countless boxes containing her husband's high heels. Next to the shoes are storage totes containing her husband's lingerie and hosiery. Next to the totes is her husband's cosmetics box. Still other totes contain her husband's jewelry and purses. And on the shelf above her tops and jeans is a tote containing her husband's coiffures.

If I dress as a woman when my spouse is home, I avoid my spouse so that she does not see her husband as a woman because she has often said, "I don't want to see you dressed as a woman." (On occasion, curiosity gets the best of her and she wants to see how I look, but I don't show her unless she is interested.)

My body has signs that may remind her that I am a woman. My hairless arms, legs, breasts, shoulders and back are the most obvious signs.

Less obvious are my neatly maintained eyebrows (eyeglasses hide how neat and feminine they actually look).

She never mentions the stuff in our closet, nor my shaved body, nor my feminized eyebrows --- out of sight, out of mind.

But if I had my ears pierced, there would be no way to hide that from her. It would be a constant reminder that I am a woman, so I let it be.

 

 

 

Wearing Light in the Box.

 

 

 

Femulating British sailor, circa 1910

I’m All Ears

As an Avon lady for over 18 years, I have seen a lot of Avon jewelry come my way. And whenever that jewelry includes clip-on earrings, I almost always make a purchase because my Avon lady discount makes the price just right.

I do the same thing when I am out shopping en femme. Clip-on earrings are such a rarity that I often buy what I find.

As a result, I have bought a lot of earrings that I never wear. Instead, I wear the same favorite clip-ons over and over again. So it makes sense to stop buying earrings I don't wear and buy earrings like those I prefer to wear, that is, vintage-style clip-on earrings.

Try finding vintage-style clip-on earrings. Antique stores have them, but they are expensive. I bought two pairs at a Provincetown antique store last time I attended Fantasia Fair and the price was right because it was the dead end of the season. The price is not right most of the rest of the time.

Then it occurred to me to try shopping where I have found many bargains in the past: eBay.

A quick search on eBay turned up a truckload of clip-on earrings including the kind I like. I placed some bids and succeeded seven times for a total cost of $16.95. Two pairs of earrings were $6 each, while the remaining five pairs were 99 cents each. Shipping was free on the $6 pairs and only $2.01 for the remaining five pairs, which were one bundle from one seller.

The accompanying photo show the seven pairs I won on eBay. The $6 pairs are the dangly gold strands (lower right) and the gold squares (bottom), which actually have faux mother of pearl, not gold centers.

 

 

 

Wearing Robert Rodriguez.

 

 

 

Actor Julian Eltinge femulating in the 1917 film Countess Charming.

June 15, 2014

One Person's Journey to Womanhood – Part 22

By Monica M

In October 2013, my wife and I went to Boston. I went on the one-day course that Ginger held just outside Boston. There were only three of us taking the course. Ginger knew that I was transgender and it was not a problem; I was far from the first transgender client that she had.

We had her full and undivided attention for the whole day. I tried on lots of outfits and was given feedback by Ginger and the others. It was such a valuable and wonderful experience. The course was held in a really nice country inn in Tyngsboro.

I had had spent a day with Ginger earlier in the week getting my colors and Fashion Fit Formula done. She also took me on a shopping outing and organized a bra fitting, a facial, and a tutorial on wig care. Ginger is an amazing resource to have in your life.

My BFF and evolutionary sister extraordinaire, BethAnn also lives in Boston, so we got to spend time with her and her husband. She and I even organized to have a MAC makeover at the same time, followed by lunch. How girly is that!

BethAnn and I in Boston before we rented a car and head off to see Ginger.

In April 2014, I set off for Denver (having done the obligatory confidence build-up in San Francisco) to do Teacher Training 2 for the second time.

I notice now that after all the work I have done on myself and the techniques that I have practiced, nothing scares me any more... not being read, not going into the ladies' room in public places. I am even happy to get in the line at the ladies' room now. This is something I would not even have dreamed about 18 months ago.

Teacher Training 2 was very good. It had about ten women taking the course and as usual with AFP ladies, they treated me wonderfully. Unfortunately, BethAnn could not make the course, but my dear, dear friend Amrita was there. She brings so much joy to my heart. She is such a wonderful person. Truly, she has the heart of a Buddha! We hung around together a lot and really enjoyed each other’s company.

This is a picture of her having a margarita (well it was my margarita!) on the night that the course finished. We had gone to a local Mexican restaurant. Amrita had also joined me at dinner with Kathe Perez earlier in the week and the two got on very well. It was so sweet completing the circles in some way! Amrita is very keen for me to go to Japan to meet her AFP group and to work with Japanese transgenders.

At this Teacher Training, I learned to practice a new technique: opening the heart. The idea is to open your heart and let your innate femininity shine out. This technique should really help me pass more effectively as people will respond (if only unconsciously) to my feminine essence and not be distracted by the male signals, large hands, etc. It will be an interesting experiment, if nothing else!

So this is the end of my tale. I am accepted by my AFP friends as being one of them. I have wonderful girlfriends, who I know I can rely on for support. I have a weekly heart circle call with about five or six close female friends, who treat me like any other woman. By my definition, I have succeeded in my journey. I really love being a woman, for me it is a whole other and joyful world.

Having been the first TG into AFP and FP, I look forward to knowing who the first transgender is to take Mama Gina's Course and how it went.

I have tried to show here one of the many ways of becoming the woman you desire, there are plenty of ways of achieving the dream. Suicide should not even be considered an option. There are lots of people out there who are happy to befriend you and relate to you as a woman and that brings a lot of joy to life.

My final message: say “no” to suicide. There is a path that is waiting for you; it is probably just around the corner. Wait for it!

In closing, I would like to thank the many who have helped me on my journey.

My wife for supporting and loving me and always believing in me and negotiating a settlement where she can keep her man and I can stop being a man!

Stana for giving me the space to pontificate here.

Rachael Jane for helping me change my operating system.

Ginger for kindling a new perspective on clothes.

BethAnn, Amrita and Mei for being so kind to me and supporting me in my attempts to really be myself.

Kathe for my voice!

Don for showing me the woman inside me.

Alex, Laurie, Sally, Ella, Cynthia, Virginia, Elena, Su, Marlese, Anna, Maria, Bella, Elisa, and all the other women, too numerous to mention from AFP an FP, who have gone out of their way to help me become the woman of my dreams.

And to finish, a photo from Don of how I now see myself.

Thank you all.

Over and out!

And finally, a word from our sponsor! :)

(Part 21 of One Person’s Journey to Womanhood appeared here.)

 

 

 

Wearing St. John Collection.

 

 

 

Andrej Pejić

One Person's Journey to Womanhood – Part 21

By Monica M

In April 2013, I went to Austin to take part in Teacher Training 2. I was already a Level 1 teacher from my training in Portland the previous year. Here I again met a wonderful bunch of women such as Alex, BethAnn, Amrita, Mei and the other sisters. These people could not have been nicer to me and really took me under their wing. We had so much fun there.

A number of incidents stick out in my mind. In the hotel, the ladies' room was quite close to the room we were using for our training. I had no problem using the ladies’ room and none of the ladies seemed to mind or complain about it.

As the ladies' room cubicle walls were about a foot above the floor, anybody coming in could see the shoes of those inside. My shoes were quite distinctive on this particular day. One of the ladies came in, she could see my shoes, but I could not see her or her shoes.

“Monica, Oh, Monica. Be sure to put down the seat when you finish!” she sang out. This, despite the fact that my shoes were pointing the correct way as I was sitting down! The whole ladies' room collapsed in squeals of laughter. Those girls were devils! What a fun bunch!

Mei, me, Keri and Amrita.

On the last day of the course, one of the ladies asked to talk to me privately. I had no idea what to expect! She told me that when she saw me in the room and realized that I was transgender, she got so angry that she was about to go to the organizers and have me removed. Her initial reaction was that this should be a sacred space for woman only!

However, she calmed herself down and meditated on the situation. She decided to just go with the flow as this is part of the training in AFP. She told me she was so glad I had been there as my presence had changed her whole attitude to transgender people. I did well without even knowing it! Needless to say, I had no idea that all this was happening inside her. Little did I think that I would become an ambassador for the cause.

This is a picture of me getting in touch with my inner something or other.
Did I mention that we had fun?

I had met Amrita and Mei at the teacher training in Portland and we became a close bunch. We ate together most lunch times and evenings at the local Whole Foods Market or at a local restaurant. I had also met Beth Ann in Portland, but we had not really connected as she had only been there for the intensive weekend. Mei and Amrita had been there for the full week. You could not hope for such a wonderful bunch of women and close friends. These girls mean so much to me; they are like sisters... only closer!

BethAnn contacted me soon after Portland and we quickly established a very positive rapport. She told me that when she heard my voice (ouch!) and realized that I was transgender, she too had a very negative reaction to sacred female space being invaded! Thankfully, she got over it and now is my closest BFFs.

Time for a serious chat with Cassie!
Amrita looking on to see what BS I putting out there! :)

The group photo: Rachael Jane on the extreme left and
BethAnn and Amrita in the front row on the right.

(Part 20 of One Person’s Journey to Womanhood appeared here.)

 

 

 

Wearing Emploi.

 

 

 

Stephanie Yates

One Person's Journey to Womanhood - Part 20

By Monica M

Another major influence on the development of my internal feminine software has been the various Feminine Power courses.

These are a set of online courses (there may be a physical meet-up, but I have not come across it yet) where you have a number of teaching calls, coaching calls and set assignments. Mostly it is the interaction with the other women on the site and the completion of the assignments that helps you grow and develop.

Again, when I signed up, I told them I was transgender and they had no problem with that. In fact, part way through the course, the course coordinator Keren Clark made a point of having a Skype call with me to make sure that I was ok, that I was not being left out and that people were treating me properly. I was mightily impressed. She told me that I was the first openly transgender person that they had come across on their courses. She could not have been sweeter.

Basically, the course is about getting in touch with your authentic self and determining what it is you want to dedicate your life to doing. It is about finding the false assumptions that rule your life, eliminating them and replacing them with more realistic assumptions.

Through this, I worked out my own Power Statement, that is, the place I need to operate from and the person I need to show up as. My Power Statement: I am a strong radiant, graceful, elegant, feminine woman who is fully grounded in her femininity. This is the person I am becoming and this is the person I expect to show up as.

I have an evolutionary sister, BA, who helps me if I stray from this path. After using this Power Statement for some time, I felt a bit uncomfortable and fragmented when presenting en homme and so I had (with the help Keren) to come up with a Power Statement for my male side that supported my authentic Power Statement. Here is my male Power Statement: my function as a male is to provide a protected and nurturing environment which allows my female side to grow and develop and gives her the ability to feed radiance to her in the service of the whole.

You quickly learn through an in-depth course such as this that all women (even transgender women) have the same problems. They are not happy with their bodies (neither are we, though in a different way!). They do not feel that they are enough (yep, got that one too!). They do not feel that they are being heard/seen (check!). They do not feel that they belong (double check that), etc. It is quite illuminating to see the parallels. One time I was complaining on the site that I often did not feel like a proper woman; one friend replied, ”Welcome to my world”.

AFP and FP really complement each other in my experience. Some of it is the same ground, but the perspective is a bit different. Both are extremely useful in helping one change one's software. The change in software has meant that the last four years (since Esprit 2010) have been the most joyful years of my life. I have been able to get in touch with my authentic self and that brings a great sense of coming home. I am complete!

(Part 19 of One Person’s Journey to Womanhood appeared here.)

 

 

 

Wearing Tahari Arthur S. Levine.

 

 

 

Actors John Stamos and Bob Saget femulating as
Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon in Some Like It Hot.