Thursday, May 29, 2014

One Person's Journey to Womanhood – Part 11

By Monica M

art&illusion I had seen somewhere on the Web that there were transgender conventions and I managed to persuade my wife to go along with me. The “traditional” one (so they say) for newly-emerging transgenders is Esprit, which happens in Port Angeles, Washington State in May each year.

We decided that we would aim for 2010 Esprit. The convention is very couple-friendly and has special couples’s sessions. These were run by the wonderful Dotti Berry. My wife agreed to come on the basis that we make a holiday out of it and that if she did not gel with the other partners, she could just do her own thing. For convenience sake and for shopping sake, we decided to go to San Francisco and drive up to Espirit over a number of days.

I knew it was time to get serious about presenting as a woman. I ordered and devoured Art and Illusion by JoAnn Roberts. This gave me the basics of makeup, dress and movement. I ordered the voice CDs from Kathe Perez about six months before and practiced daily. I ordered the movement DVDs from Denae Doyle and practiced her moves.

My first makeup was anything discarded or unwanted from my wife. But I quickly realized that they were not doing the job and so I moved to Kryolan, the theatrical makeup and used that for the next couple of years. That helped a lot to hide the blemishes, but the problem really was a lack of good skin care. Then, I discovered Dermologica and it radically changed the quality of my skin. So much so that now I looked overly made up in the Kyrolan and gradually switched to MAC (but that was some time in the future!).

I learned from Denae that if you are serious about passing, you need a real hair wig and not a nylon one. She recommended Hansen Fontana in San Francisco. Our plan was to stay in a hotel in downtown San Francisco close to Hansen Fontana and for me to go there in drag with my wife to choose a wig. The next day, we would drive to Santa Cruz to meet up with Denae and I would spend a day being coached in Denae in movement. Following that, we would start the drive to Seattle. It was like a military mission. And all this time, my wife was with me and never complained; bless her, in fact multi Bless her!

I realized that most women dress to stand out but, really as a transgender, I thought it would be better to dress to blend in (I have since changed my view!). So, when I chose clothes from catalogs (I still had never shopped in person), I chose dull fall colors and styles. I had had my colors done about 15 years before, so I knew what was in my palette... or so I thought!

So, suited up, choreographed and tuned up, we packed the car and headed for Seattle and places further afield. In those days, I dare not drive as Monica in case I got stopped by the cops for any reason or in case I had to use the bathroom. How things have changed now!

But, there are a couple of stories and photos before we leave San Francisco.

(Part 10 of One Person’s Journey to Womanhood appeared here.)

 

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Source: Madeleine

Wearing Madeleine.

 

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Elliott Alexzander, fashion blogger.

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Looking Ahead

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The first draft of the Fantasia Fair daily schedule is now up and running on the Internet and includes the Femulate Blog Party, which is all set for Tuesday afternoon.

The party is "A gathering of readers, followers and interested parties of the Femulate blog (femulate.org) for the purpose of meeting all the femulators in person and to discuss the fine art of femulating, i.e., emulating a female (among the general public)."

I will be there (I better be there!) and I hope to see you there, too!

And if you want a look ahead to get a glimpse of where this may all be going, look to our youth and specifically, look at the House of Alexzander, which is "Not your average fashion blog. Constructed by Elliott Alexzander as a collective source for his own personal style, House Of Alexzander quickly became an inspirational power house for the gender variant community."

I will make no attempt to pigeon-hole Elliott, but I believe he is a kindred spirit and representative of the younger generation which is not constrained by the definitions of "gender" that was affixed to my generation and those that preceded mine.

Read Elliott's blog and I am sure you will be intrigued, impressed and wish that you were a youngster today and able to freely express your gender.

 

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Andrej Pejic, model.

 

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Source: Vogue

Wearing Gucci (dress, coat, boots), Dior (watch), Balenciaga (bracelet),
Rimowa Case and Globe Trotter (luggage).

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Monica's Back!

One Person's Journey to Womanhood – Part 10


By Monica M 


I have said that, from an engineering perspective, we can break down the femulate problem into five components (how male is that!): one hardware and four software. Not having had any changes to my hardware (or hormones other than the, thankfully, a depletion of testosterone), I don't really feel qualified to deal with the hardware issue. However, from observation and experience I feel that “the vag is not the badge.” There are more fruitful avenues of approach to presenting as (and feeling oneself to be) a woman – namely, the software approach.

To my mind, the cake is the software and the icing is the hardware.

The software components are 1) voice, 2) deportment, 3) presentation, and 4) operating system. It is my intention to devote a blog post to each of these over the next couple of days so that I can share my experience and, hopefully, help others. Today I will start with voice.

Voice is probably the most important thing in passing. No, really, it is so important. Your voice will out you very quickly if it has a male quality to it no matter how good you look. On the other side of the coin, I have a theory that if The Terminator spoke with a believable female voice, at least 20% of the people would accept him as a female in disguise. To train the voice takes so much time and effort that people assume you really must be a female if you have a good female voice.

I started working on my voice in 2009 about six months before I went to Esprit. I am still working on my voice. I practice about 20 minutes most days to keep it in shape. I am still not happy with it. It takes a long time to get the voice you want – do not get discouraged – but when you get that voice, a whole new level of confidence opens up for you.

In my opinion, the queen of feminine voice training is Kathe Perez. She is a great teacher and a lovely all-around person. I had dinner with her twice last month, when I was in Denver. There are some photos of that event taken by my good friend A. But the photo of me is so unflattering (so male looking!) that I am not inclined to publish it.

Kathe produces CDs and does on-line training of your voice to produce a feminine sound and cadence. I have found her practices and advice extremely valuable. She is currently working on an app for mobile phones, which will accelerate the learning process. Spend some time with Kathe, you will not regret it.

Here is the link to her website. If you connect with her, tell her that Monica sent you! :)

In the meantime, every time you hear a woman talking on the TV or radio, quietly repeat what she is saying so that you get used to the melodic flow of the female voice.

Next up, deportment and movement.

(Part 9 of One Person’s Journey to Womanhood appeared here.)







Actor Brian Charles femulating on stage in Pop! (2010).





Source: Boston Proper

Wearing Boston Proper.

Saturday, May 24, 2014

Boys’ Girl Day

By Cheryl

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It seems that it is common for boy bands in South Korea to perform while crossdressed. Recently, I was surfing the Internet and found this example of a great femulation in South Korea.

Music Core is a South Korean music television program. The show features popular artists who perform live on stage.

It recently completed its 400th show and to celebrate this milestone, they featured a popular girl band called Girl’s Day. As part of the special show, they asked members from four different boy bands to join forces, create a group called “Boy’s Day” and to perform on the show. The catch was that the boy band members were to perform dressed as girls.

Here are links (one, two, and three) to websites displaying photos of the group and here are links (one and two) to YouTube videos of the group’s performance.

This is not just some quickly thrown together crossdressing; rather it is excellent femulation. A lot effort was made to make each member look as feminine as possible.

By the way, each of these boy band members has previously crossdressed. Just Google the name of each band member or the name of their original group to see many examples of their fondness for heels and lipstick.

 

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A pair of stylish femulators in 1929.

 

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Doris Day

Friday, May 23, 2014

Perfect Curve

IMG_1451_cropped In addition to the new hairdo, new dresses and new shoes that I wore to the Hamvention last week, I also wore new shapewear: the Squeem Perfect Waist.

I was such a satisfied customer of the Squeem Miracle Vest that I was anxious to try out the other products that Squeem offers and the Perfect Waist seemed like the logical choice.

Basically, the Perfect Waist is the Miracle Vest without shoulder straps and upper back and underarm support. If you do not have back fat issues, then the Perfect Waist is for you.

Perfect Waist knocked inches off my waistline and flattened my tummy to give me the girlish curves I so desired. A picture is worth a thousand words and the accompanying photo of me in the sheath dress I wore last Friday shows the results of what Perfect Waist can accomplish. I assure you that sans Perfect Waist, the curves you see in that photo do not exist.

Perfect Waist also improved my posture and provided back support that painlessly got me through two 8-hour days staffing the booth at the Hamvention. At the end of those days, my feet knew I wore high heels all day long, but my torso had no complaints from wearing Perfect Waist.

Like the Miracle Vest, the instructions for the Perfect Waist recommend breaking it in gradually by wearing it one hour the first time, two hours the second time, etc. But just like the first time I wore the Miracle Vest, the first time I wore the Perfect Waist, I was all-in and wore it for over 12 hours! I suffered no ill effects from wearing the Perfect Waist for 12 hours out of the box, perhaps because my body was already acclimated to wearing the Miracle Vest for extended periods of time, but your mileage may vary.

Perfect Waist is the perfect choice for girls like us who are seeking that perfect curve.

 

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Actor Ben Sander femulating television personality Sabrina “Brini” Maxwell.

 

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Joan Crawford

Thursday, May 22, 2014

Dayton Nights Two and Three Detailed

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Whereas my Dayton days two and three (Friday and Saturday) were similar and tend to blur together, my Dayton nights two and three were very different. Friday night, I attended our group's annual banquet and Saturday night, I attended a cookout at the home of one of the board members of my group who lives in the Dayton suburbs.

Banquet

Our banquet occurs in a banquet facility in the suburbs south of Dayton. The food is always excellent, the after-dinner speaker is usually a well-known name in ham radio, and as a result, we fill the hall every year.

I wore my new orange and black peplum dress from Fashion to Figure with the same accessories I wore during the day sans necklace.

I drove to the hall with my carpool buddy, John, who had the job of collecting tickets at the event. So we had to arrive as early as possible, but since we are among the earliest arrivals, we can get a good table up front.

I had to go to the ladies' room upon arrival, so John picked a table and prepared to collect tickets. When I got to the table, a gent was already seated there. I did not know him, so I sat myself down and introduced myself.

He was a retired electrical engineer, but had only been a ham for a year and was attending his first Hamvention. We got along swimmingly and chatted about our families, careers, ham radio and Hamvention.

Ten minutes or so later, an old friend, someone who knew me as a boy before he knew me as a girl, joined our table and the conversation. Then two more strangers joined our table and there were introductions all around. I struck up a conversation with the two newcomers and we had a nice chat.

Everyone I encountered at the banquet, male and female, guests and banquet hall employees alike, were friendly and I had a great time.

Cookout

I was a little worried about attending the cookout because of the weather. It was cold, rained throughout the day and I did not have proper clothing.

I wore black leggings with zippers on the cuffs from Macy's, a new blue peplum top from Fashion to Figure, black thigh-highs from Berkshire, mid-heel black "Daylight" wedges from Payless, and minimum jewelry. Over that outfit, I wore my blue Red Sox hoodie from my male wardrobe, which was the only piece of clothing I had that was appropriate for the weather.

When I entered the house, the hostess greeted me, "You're Stana, correct?"

She remembered me from when I attended the cookout two years ago. She was the perfect hostess to this transwoman on Saturday as she was in 2012.

There were about 50 people at the cookout. Some I knew (my fellow board members), most I did not, but almost all were very friendly... especially the guys. Guy after guy went out of their way to introduce themselves to me and chat awhile.

On the other hand, some of the other women in attendance were not so friendly. Most of the women were spouses of the guys in attendance and when my hostess introduced me to a table in a girl-boy-girl-boy arrangement, the girls were kind of cold. One woman in particular did not let up and sent daggers my way whenever I was in her vicinity.

Transphobia or jealousy? I like to think the latter, but you never know about the former.

The rain finally stopped, but the temperature was cold, so eating outdoors was a little uncomfortable, although the meal was excellent.

John and I both were leaving early Sunday morning, so we were the first to depart. As I said my final goodbyes, one of the fellows who was working at our booth came over and gave me a big hug. He has a transbrother and is sympathetic to transgender folks.

I appreciated the gesture and it was a beautiful way to end my trip to Dayton.

 

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Johnnie David femulating in 1937.

 

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Source: ideeli

Wearing Sue Wong.

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Dayton Days Two and Three Detailed

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Going to Hamvention is not a vacation in the sense that I can relax. Staffing a booth requires being up and running at the booth when the show opens. So just as if I was going to my day job, I was up at 5 AM to shave, shower, and dress and then add 30 to 45 minutes to do my makeup.

On Friday, I wore one of my new dresses from Fashion to Figure... a figure-hugging black and white sheath. Accessories included black thigh-highs from Berkshire, black patent "Janine" pumps from Payless, jewelry from Avon and Fashion Bug, and a black bag from Payless. I also brought along a pair of mid-heel black "Daylight" wedges from Payless in case the 3-inch Janine pumps wore out their welcome.

On Saturday, I wore my navy blue white polka dot dress from Avon with basically the same accessories as Friday except I wore a pearl necklace and white watch instead of a silver necklace and black watch.

On both days, I left my room and walked down the hall to the hotel restaurant at approximately 7 AM (my room was on the first floor just off the lobby). Found an empty table and had a banana, yogurt, and coffee while I people-watched the people who watched me when I entered the restaurant.

Nothing grabs the attention of a room full of guys like the sound of high heels entering the room. Everyone (even the women) stop what they are doing to see who is the source of that oh-so feminine sound and in this case, it happened to be me.

The same thing happened in the convention hall --- the sound of high heels acts like a siren to alert everyone to the presence of a siren.

I was one of the few people at the show in heels. Other women who staff booths wear sensible shoes unless they are "booth babes" and I don't recall seeing any "booth babes" at the show this year, so I might have been the only one in heels. By the way, I wore the heels all day. They were very comfortable and I never had to fall back to my wedges.

After breakfast, I returned to my room to freshen up and then returned to the lobby to meet up with the fellow who I would carpool with Friday and Saturday (he drove during the day and I drove at night). We arrived at the convention hall at about 8 AM and got ready for the throngs that would appear when the hall opened to the public at 9 AM.

I still run into old friends and acquaintances at Hamvention who are not aware of Stana and there were four instances of this occurrence over the weekend that were interesting. In all four cases, I had known the fellows for at least 10 to 15 years and in one case, it was over 40 years.

Three of the four guys acted exactly the same when they saw me, that is, they acted as if nothing was different. They were just as friendly as they had been in the past and chatted with me like old friends chat when they have not seen each other in awhile. The three made no mention of my change. It is possible that they were already aware of my change before encountering me in person, but nonetheless, they seemed to have no problem with it.

The fourth fellow was a little different. He was just as friendly and chatty as the other three, but he was genuinely excited about my transformation and specifically wanted to know the source of my shapely legs (blame my Mother).

Most of my old friends and acquaintances have acted in a similar manner. They accepted me as a friend before the change and now they found that same friend after the change (maybe a little more attractive than before the change), but the same friend nonetheless.

Strangers are different matter and most of the people I encountered over the weekend were strangers. Strangers are not aware of my past. When they see me they see someone presenting as a tall woman, so they assume that I am a tall woman until I give them evidence that is contrary to that presentation. For example, a couple of times I inadvertently slipped into my normal male voice and I realized what had happened when I noticed strangers  noticing the discrepancy between my voice and the rest of my presentation.

Standing in the booth, I had a smile pasted on my face most of the time. Many men and almost all the women who came my way returned the smile with some even adding a "Hi" or "Hello."

And two women even came over to say, "I love your dress!"

I love that!

 

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B. Scott, the beautiful femulating TV, radio and Internet personality

 

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Source: MyHabit

Wearing Kamalikulture.

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Dayton Days Zero and One Detailed

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Wednesday (Dayton Day Zero)

Wednesday was a travel day in boy mode because I left home as early as possible to beat the bad weather.

Except for two short downpours in central Pennsylvania, the weather on the first leg of the trip was fine for driving.  I drove 7-1/2 hours and stayed at a hotel on the Ohio-Pennsylvania border;  when I exited my car at the hotel, I was surprised by the heat and humidity. The temperature was in the high 80's and the humidity was in the same neighborhood.

After I settled into my hotel room, all hell broke loose. The sky turned black and there was a thundershower with pea-sized hail. A cold front blew through and the temperature dropped and stayed low throughout the Hamvention (I woke up to sub-40 degree temps each morning in Dayton).  And it rained off and on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday.

I did not expect the low temperatures and all the outfits I packed were sleeveless. Luckily I had brought a trench coat and hoody!

Thursday (Dayton Day One)

Up at 5 AM (as usual), I shaved, showered and did my makeup.

My makeup collection is contained in a big tackle box that I bought years ago. It has everything I need, but do I need everything?

I was determined to make an effort to keep track of exactly what I used throughout the weekend so that in the future, I could travel a little lighter makeup wise.

Thursday, I wore my new black jumpsuit from Fashion to Figure, nude 3-inch high heels from Payless, and accessorized with jewelry and a nude bag from Avon. Also, I wore a new do for the first time (Meredith from Henry Margu). Its color is "Gold Blonde with Glazed Strawberry Blonde Highlights."

I checked myself out in the full-length mirror, thought to myself, "Yes - you are a woman,"  took a deep breath, opened the door and stepped out into the hallway.

The hallway was deserted.

I pressed the button for the elevator. When it arrived, a young couple were already on board. Since I was on the top floor of the hotel, I waited for them to exit.

When they realized what I was doing, they motioned for me to get on board. Turned out that they were going down, too, but got on the elevator from the floor below when it was going up to get me. When the elevator went down and stopped at the next floor, I joked, "This is where you get on."

They laughed at my little joke. When we arrived at the lobby, they let the funny old lady (me) get off first.

I went to the dining area and there were two couples seated and eating. A senior gent from one of the couples watched me intently while I selected the items for my breakfast (yogurt, fruit and coffee). I think he wanted a date, but all they had were apples and oranges.

I ate while watching the news on the television. There was a tornado that did some destruction overnight elsewhere in Ohio. I was not surprised considering the kind of weather that I saw in my neck of the woods Wednesday evening.

After breakfast, I returned to my room to freshen up, moved my bags to my car and checked out. This was the potential exciting part because I checked in presenting as a male, but I was checking out presenting as a female.

The potential for excitement would be even higher if the same person who checked me in was working the front desk when I checked out, but she was a no-show. The fellow working the desk was the same fellow who was working the desk when I checked out last year (I have stayed at the same hotel three years in a row). He was polite as could be, used the correct pronouns and gave away no hints that he knew anything was amiss.

There was no excitement until I got back on the Interstate and encountered a deluge just north of Columbus. The rain was falling so heavily for a minute or so that visibility was next to zero, so I slowed down to a crawl until the rain let up a bit.

I arrived at my hotel in Dayton and checked in. Liz, a very young lady was working the front desk and she was as accommodating as could be. She did not bat an eye when I asked her to change the name on my reservation because there was an error (a male first name - how did that happen!) --- I wanted the name on the reservation to match the name (Stana) on my Hilton Honors Awards card.

After checking in, I moved my luggage to the room and relaxed while reading my e-mails. After an hour, I was bored, so I moved to the lobby to people-watch while reading my e-mails. Most of the people I watched were fellow board members of my group who were either staying in the hotel or were showing up early for our 6 PM board meeting.

My iPhone rang and it was another board member who was in charge of paying the bills for the meeting. He called to ask me if I, as the group's secretary, knew if anyone had arranged for food for the board meeting. No one had, so he met me in the lobby to discuss the matter while looking over menus of local food providers. We quickly made an executive decision to order apizza and salad.

After  returning to my room to get a cold drink and freshen my makeup, I proceeded to the meeting room for the board meeting. I greeted the two board members, who were already present, then took a seat. One-by-one, the other board members arrived and the meeting got underway after everyone had a chance to get salad and apizza.

I will not go into details about the board meeting except to say that everyone who knew me before femulation treated me as they always have. The only difference was that they now use different pronouns (and they have become very good at doing that).

On the other hand, the two newcomers at the meeting, who did not know the old me, did not have to use new pronouns and they treated me as a woman because that's all they know.

 

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Actor Anthony Berry femulating on British television’s Coronation Street in 2007.

 

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Source: MyHabit

Wearing Lafayette 148 New York.

Monday, May 19, 2014

Dayton Day Four

After 12 hours on 710 miles of bad road, I arrived home, unloaded the car and went to bed.

I have a lot of catching up to do and will get to it as quickly as possible. Until then, I leave you with today’s installment of Lila (she and I were separated at birth!).

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Saturday, May 17, 2014

Dayton Day Three

I got back from the Hamvention about an hour ago, packed my bags for the trip home on Sunday and before I crash, I am posting a photo of the outfit I wore last night (a peplum dress from Fashion to Figure).

I will be on the road for about 12 hours tomorrow. When I get back home, I will write all about my trip and post it here.

Until then, 88!