The Many Aspects of Gender

By Romana

Romana wrote an interesting piece for Femulate, “The Many Aspects of Gender,” which describes her take on gender. Her article is long, so you will find it in its entirety on a separate webpage, but the introduction to her article follows with a link to the rest of the article. 

I have gained a lot of experience in my seven and a half years living full-time as a transgender woman. My Buddhist meditation practice has revealed many unexpected insights. My life has always been experiential, constantly trying new things out. I guess Asperger’s syndrome has enabled me to be quite bold. I have never been in the closet. My hormones had been out-of-balance for years, but that has been fixed, causing my entire psyche has come into focus. I am now legally Romana and legally female, without any gender-altering surgeries. Recently, I have been communicating with women just like another woman, so I think I now have a woman’s point-of-view. Women’s issues have become mine, and I have developed a true desire to improve women’s lives. I have reached, or aspire to reach all my recommendations.

I think that image and clothing is a catalyst that can provide a gateway to variations of gender expression beyond standard. New gender experiences can be liberating, because they can allow one to try out a diversity of behaviors that might otherwise have been severely restricted. that they can negotiate.

Read the rest of the article here.

 

 

 

The Raelle Sisters – sibling professional femulators circa 1972.

 

 

 

Wearing Madeleine.

A Little Class

There was interest in having a Femulate gathering at Fantasia Fair this year, so I completed the workshop proposal and submitted it to Dallas Denny, the Fantasia Fair Program Coordinator.

With the workshop proposal, I also had to submit a recent photo for publication in the Fantasia Fair Program Guide (in case my workshop is approved). Instead of submitting any old recent photo, I used Photoshop to insert a backdrop into a recent photo to give it a little class. The result appears to the right.

To make up for missing International Transgender Day of Visibility on Monday, I femmed-up my appearance for Tuesday with skinny jeans, a hip-length magenta tunic, black flats, and pink lip gloss.

Nobody mentioned my appearance. Either they did not notice or they were not surprised.

 

 

 

Claude André, a French professional femulator circa 1960

 

 

 

Wearing Red Valentino.

Her Suits Her Fine

Yesterday was International Transgender Day of Visibility.

I missed it. I would have dressed more appropriately for work on Monday if I knew beforehand. On the other hand, I am glad that I was dressed in boy mode on Monday.

I drove to work through a wintry mix of rain, sleet, and snow. As I parked my car at work, the wintry mix was no longer mixed and it snowed for the next three hours depositing 5 inches of heavy snow throughout my neck of the woods!

Like I said, I am glad that I was dressed in boy mode because I hate walking in heels through slush. However, I did display visible signs of my femininity yesterday.

Have I mentioned that I am letting my hair grow?

I have not visited my hairdresser since November and my hair is now the longest it's been since my college days. A woman engineer at work noticed my long hair the other day and said it looked "cool."

I noticed other people at work checking out my hair. Some of them may be thinking that my days as a boy at work are numbered and that I will be working as a lady real soon now. 

Meanwhile, no one on the home front has mentioned it, although my sister made a negative comment the last time I saw her. This is the same sister who is a big LGBT supporter with one exception: her transgender brother, so I took her comment with a grain of salt.

I am not sure how long I will let my locks grow. They are harder to hide under a wig now and at a minimum, they need to be neatened up by a professional.

And so it grows.

 

 

 

A West Point cadet (right) femulates in a circa 1920 stage production at the academy.

 

 

 

Wearing Robert Rodriguez.

Going to Fantasia Fair?

I registered for Fantasia Fair during the week of Fantasia Fair 2013 to get the best price.  I also reserved a room at my favorite Provincetown B&B and by staying for seven nights, I get two nights for free --- such a deal!

So now that I am all registered and reserved for Fantasia Fair, I was kicking around ideas for conducting a workshop at the Fair. I was wondering if enough Femulate readers are going to Fantasia Fair this year to make it worthwhile to have a Femulate workshop.

It would be great to get all us femulators together so we can meet each other in person and have a big roundtable discussion about the fine art of femulating. We could call it the Femulate Blog Party!

Please let me know if you are going to Fantasia Fair this year and if so, would you attend the Femulate workshop.

 

 

 

Actor Paulo Gustavo (center) femulating in the 2013 Brazilian film Minha Mãe é uma Peça: O Filme.

 

 

 

Wearing Amelia Toro.

Plan Your Vacation Now

 

 

 

Souvenir from San Antonio’s The Gay Paree, circa 1950.

 

 

 

Emma Watson

Yes, it happened to me!

On Wednesday, I asked, “Has this happened to you?” that is, you’re out en femme and another woman reacts negatively (or positively) because you look better than her.

Dana’s “Sister”

I was at a fund raising event (guest of a friend) of about 300 people in attendance and found myself not alone in the choice of my dress! I really love this dress and actually had to wait about 8 months before it went on sale and I could buy it. It is a very fun and flirty dress to wear and received several compliments on it from other ladies, which of course makes it even more fun and exciting!

So unlike a previous time where the girl was not liking the fact both of us had on a very similar dress, this woman was all smiles and we laughed, complimenting the other on how good we each looked (yes, she was just being nice to me, but it meant the world to me as I think she is beautiful). I told her we could just say sisters if anyone asked and she said YES, the story being set! Above is a picture of us together!

Sindi’s Internet Intrigue

I am on a social site. I received a email from a member saying I should not be playing dress-up- nothing about how I looked. I read it and could not figure out why she wrote that. So I emailed back saying I guessed she did not want to be friends, LOL Turns out her husband had been looking at my page OMG - a jealous woman. And jealous of me???

Carollyn’s Makeup Counter Adventure

I went to Nordstrom’s at Bellevue Square (WA) to get a couple of Clinique items and to ask the cosmetologist for “smokey eye” assistance, since I was going to party that evening with Jamie Grae and her friends in Everett.

I was wearing the black outfit (photo below), but with boots not heels, since it was raining. The skirt was also longer. I rolled it for the party since everyone wears short skirts where we were going. I also wore my black leather jacket.

“Anyway, I walked in to Nordstrom's and scanned the makeup area looking for Clinique. I finally found the counter and approached Michele to purchase pour concealer (which is a must under my makeup) and eye-liner. She was amazing and so helpful... but it was the two ladies at the other counter who went gaga over my appearance.

I told Michele I was ambi-gender and told me she had numerous CD customers and that she was not bothered. The ladies did not have any clients, so they walked over to see what Michele was doing for me. I had removed my jacket so my cleavage was apparent too. The first comment I heard was “Where did you get your nylons and boots?”

I was wearing patterned nylons. They asked me if I could model for them. So, I took off my boots and walked around the counter. I told them where I bought both items.

“Well, when Michele is done with you, please come over to our counter.”

About 15 minutes later, I paid Michele for the product and thanked her for her help with the “smokey eye” and went to see the other two ladies.

“You are beautiful,” said one lady. The other said, “I could never look as pretty as you.”

And they were both lovely and classy in their appearance. Compliments continued to flow.

We talked for about 10 minute, mostly about where I buy my clothes, why I was in Washington, and about living in California. I don't think they knew I was CD, or at least they did not lead on to it. I did show them a couple of pictures of me that I had on my camera in different outfits and even gave them one of my “business” cards. The both gave me a hug and said to come back any time.

Obviously, I walked out of Nordstrom's on Cloud 9.

Vicki's Workout

I was never out in a dress, but I was working out in a hotel workout room wearing a light blue leotard and what they called then "Toast" colored tights. I also had on a little elastic belt which was strictly to accessorize the leo and pull the outfit together. I had many different colored belts which mostly matched the different colored tights I would wear.  It really just gave it a cute look.

I began in the room by myself and two women came in together to workout. They struck up a conversation with me.  

One said to both her friend and me, "I think I need to have a talk with my husband about letting me spend more on my workout clothes. It is depressing when a guy has cuter outfits than me."  

Then the other woman said, "He also has better legs than you."  

She then looked at me and said, "Do you like having girly legs?"

The last comment that they made after I finished and said goodbye, "You have a better ass than either of us also. Now that is depressing."

College men femulating in Lucky Break, a 1932 University of
Wisconsin Haresfoot Club stage production.

Wearing Marc by Marc Jacobs.

Our Events

 

Our Stories

This past weekend, I missed "Moving Transgender History Forward" at the University of Victoria, home of the world’s largest trans archives.

"Scholars from colleges, universities and community organizations across North America and all over the world converged on Vancouver Island March 21-23 to attend the first-ever conference on accessing and archiving trans history.”

Normally, I would not mention past events [unless I was present and being fabulous (is that redundant?)], but in this case, I want to pass along some wise words regarding transgender history from Jan Brown, my friend of renown.

"It's important to know where we have come from and the people who have spurred on the movement. If anyone has historical material, please don't just throw it away thinking no one would be interested.

"Not true! There is a lot of interest to save our history. You just have to find the right place and right now, the University of Victoria is very interested, as are The Center and the University of Michigan Library (Labadie Collection)."

Our Lives

One month from now, on April 26, Transgender Lives: The Intersection of Health and Law Conference will be in full swing at the UConn Health Center in Farmington, Connecticut.

"This all day conference is geared towards service providers, medical and legal professionals, trans and gender non-conforming community, allies and all those interested in the health and law issues facing the trans and gender non-conforming communities."

Two of my trans buds (Dru Levasseur are Tony Ferraiolo) are the keynote speakers and their speech will be preceded by a full slate of interesting and pertinent workshops.

The Conference costs only $25, includes a free lunch and is conveniently located on I-84, half way between Boston and New York City, so it is an easy drive for folks living in the upper right corner of the lower 48.

Hope you can make it!

Our Fair

I like attending New England fairs in the fall and my favorite fair to attend is Fantasia Fair in Provincetown on Cape Cod. The longest-running annual trans conference in the world celebrates its 40th anniversary this year and the week-long event runs from Sunday October 19 to Sunday October 26.

Fantasia Fair "continues to be the leading annual program promoting a gender-variant individual's ability to thrive in real-life situations." Unlike most trans conferences that occur in one building (read: big closet), Fantasia Fair occurs all over a very cool seaside resort and has a huge menu of things to do (sleep is optional).

Register as early as possible to save on the registration fee, so don't delay.

You can read about my last trip to Fantasia Fair among these posts. I hope to see you there this year!

 

 

 

Professional femulator Terry Dunham posing for a photoshoot in 1974.

 

 

 

Wearing Diane Von Furstenberg.

Has this ever happened to you?

You’re out en femme and another woman reacts negatively (or positively) because you look better than her.

Tell me your story. How did she react? What did she say? (I’m all ears.)

 

 

 

Actor Jim Rash femulates again on television’s Community (2009-2014).

 

 

 

Wearing Madeleine.

Random Thoughts from True Colors Conference

Put the Squeem On

I wore my new Squeem Miracle Vest body shaper for the first time on Friday.

The instructions recommend breaking it in gradually by wearing it one hour the first time, two hours the second time, etc.

I was all-in the first time and wore it for over 10 hours!

Unlike other shapewear I have worn in the past, the Squeem was painless. By day’s end, I had some chaffing below my boobs. To prevent chaffing in the future, I have to adjust the shoulder straps so that the vest sits a little lower on my torso.

Except for that operator error, I was completely satisfied with the Squeem. It gave me a nice shapely figure all around and supported my back in such a way that it improved my posture. And it was pain-free!

SRO

The first couple of times I staffed my support group's table at the True Colors Conference (2007 and 2009), Diana and I were "the staff" more or less. I don't know if my trans sisters were afraid to be out in public or what, but volunteers to staff the table were hard to come by.

Just as the trans students attending the conference are no longer afraid to attend en femme, things have changed for the better volunteer-wise, too. Now there is an abundance of volunteers --- so many that at times, there are not enough chairs to seat us all, so SRO!

Shut-Up Already

One of the comments I received regarding my presentation is that I should let the attendees speak more.

Throughout my presentation, I announced that if there were any questions, please interrupt me and ask. As a result, there were questions, as well as comments numerous times during my presentation. And I welcomed them because the presentation is for the attendees; their questions and comments fill in things I missed or did not cover thoroughly or at all.

I do not discourage comments and discussions, but perhaps my announcement infers that I am because I only mention questions. So in the future, I will modify my announcement to encourage comments and discussions, as well as questions.

 

 

 

Actor Gary Beach (second from left) femulating in the 2005 film The Producers.

 

 

 

Wearing Evan Picone.

Everyone en femme

Up at 5 AM for a busy day, I dressed in my new Sofia Vergara outfit and drove to Diana (of Diana’s Little Corner in the Nutmeg State fame) to carpool to the True Colors Conference at UCONN.

The forecast was for a pleasant day… sunny and temperatures around 50 degrees. I figured my new trench coat would be adequate, however, when we arrived at UCONN, it was more like Yukon. The wind was blowing hard and I can’t recall ever feeling so cold walking the quarter-mile from the parking lot to the Student Union. My guess is that the wind chill was well below freezing.

I checked in, got my presentation package and spent most of the day hanging around my old support group’s table, which was staffed by a very able crew of transwomen including my old Fantasia Fair pal, Karen Marie, who is magical in the way she is able to interact with the adults and kids, who stopped at our table.

I encountered a lot of old friends and sadly, I missed a few who I know were there but who did not appear to me in the crowd of nearly 4,000 attendees. I also made some new friends, like Susan Collins and Lorelei Erisis, so I guess I am “even Steven” as fast as missing old friends and making new ones!

As I mentioned here on Thursday, I changed the name of my presentation from a title that mentioned “femulate” to something that mentioned “crossdressing” figuring that the latter would garner a larger audience than the former because all the attendees knew what the latter meant, but not so much the former. 

My strategy paid off. I did not do an exact headcount, but I estimate that there were nearly 40 people in attendance, which is by far an all-time high for my True Colors Conference presentations. By the way, there were three or four adults in the group and the rest were middle school, high school and college students.

My presentation, Crossdressing Successfully in the Real World, went well. There were a lot of good questions and exchanges throughout my presentation and most of the post-presentation evaluations rated me Above Average or Excellent. 

I hope I helped someone. I noticed a few people taking notes, so some people must have taking away some useful information.

Diana and I left Yukon about 5 and ate dinner at an old mill that was converted into a restaurant (Adam’s Mill Restaurant in Manchester). There were no issues - the staff treated us transwomen like ladies and when we left the restaurant, a middle-aged gent (a customer, not an employee) held the door open for us.

I was home around sundown and my big takeaway from True Colors this year was how great it was to see so many of the students en femme. When I started attending True Colors back in 2007, few if any of the students presented en femme. Actually, I don’t recall any presenting en femme, but I did not see everyone, so I might have missed someone.

Fast-forward 7 years and there were students everywhere presenting en femme, which warned my heart and put a big smile on my face.

Actor Christopher Hewett (right) femulating in the 1967 film The Producers.

Wearing Diane Von Furstenberg.

True Colors Conference 2014

It was a long busy full day and I am ready to go horizontal, but I will leave you with this photo of yours truly taken this afternoon at the True Colors Conference.