Monday, October 14, 2013

Halloween 1974

Source: girdlezone.org
October is nearly half over and I have not broached the H subject --- until now. H, as in Halloween, is a day near and dear to the heart of femulators throughout Girl World

Early on, I used Halloween as an excuse to shop for my lady wardrobe.

"I'm going to a Halloween party dressed as a woman, so I need a... (fill in the blank with whatever I needed at the time: wig, bra, girdle, dress, high heels, makeup, purse, etc., etc., etc.)

I used that excuse a lot when I was still closeted. I dunno if I fooled any of the store staff with my Halloween story. Not many guys are going to spend $100 or more on a wig for one night, so something else must be going on.

At least once, I outed myself. I was 23 years old working in Kingston, New York, a couple of hours away from home and my stash of female finery. Halloween was coming up and I decided it was a perfect time to start my Kingston Kollection.

I found an old school lingerie store where I intended to buy an all-in-one. An older woman greeted me as I entered the store. I told her my Halloween story and added that I wanted an all-in-one.

That probably tipped my hand immediately; how many guys know what's an all-in-one.

The woman used a tape measure to take my measurements. Then she went in the back room and returned a few minutes later with two all-in-ones.

"Take these to the dressing room, try them on and call me so I can see if they fit properly."

I did not expect such a hands-on sale, but was glad to have it. I quickly stripped down to my briefs, zipped myself into my all-in-one and called for the saleswoman and by doing so, I tipped my hand again.

"Wow - that was quick," she remarked. (I assumed that her other male customers were not as fast as I when trying on their "first" all-in-one.)

She then checked me out and remarked that I had a real girlish figure. I tipped my hand again as my face turned beet red in embarrassment. Strike three --- I was out.


Source: Femulate Archive

Couple gender exchange, Halloween 2011.


Source: Express

Wearing Express.

Sunday, October 13, 2013

Friday's Femulator

A number of readers questioned the gender of Friday's Femulator.

I had minimal information about her except that the source was from a womanless beauty pageant. Her femulation was very good, but I thought she looked a little flat-chested, so I figured she was one of us.

Jackie did some legwork and found the womanless beauty pageant where Friday's Femulator appeared. Jackie wrote, "I think the womanless contestant is really a woman. Most likely, she is a local beauty queen that sang a song and crowned the winner and runner-up(s)."

I think Jackie is correct. If you view the whole set of photos from the pageant, you will see three photos of our Mystery Femulator performing. And a little further on, you will see four photos of our Mystery Femulator now wearing a tiara while crowning the contestants of the pageant.

I apologize for the error.

Friday, October 11, 2013

Best Fit

IMG_0814_cropped_web My mother raised my sister and I in the 1950s, while my father worked two jobs to finance our raising. With my male role model out of the picture (or out of focus) most of the time, my mother became my role model and as a result, instead of raising a son and a daughter, she raised two daughters.

The older daughter (me) was her favorite and received more attention; I was babied, pampered and spoiled, whereas my sister often had to fend for herself. As a result, I (the sissy nee "Momma's boy") turned out to be very feminine, whereas my sister(the "Daddy's girl") was more independent and assertive.

During the 1950s, "there were two distinct shapes, the waif like gamine figure epitomized in movies by Audrey Hepburn and the more womanly hourglass figure represented by Grace Kelly, with tiny waists, padded hips and circle skirts." (Source: Glamourdaze.com)

My mother was in the latter group and I found herself in that group. too! I assume extra estrogen is responsible for my hourglass figure and predisposed me to embrace the feminine environment I found myself in.

As I've written here before, I never felt that I was a female trapped in a male body. Instead, I was "me" trapped in the expectations of what being a "male" was all about.

Although I embraced things considered "male," I also rejected many "male" things, while embracing many "female" things. As a result, friends and enemies considered me to be effeminate.

I never tried to be feminine just as I never tried to be macho, but society branded me "effeminate" nonetheless. I was just being "me," which just happens to be considered “feminine” in the eyes of society.

I love all the female trappings; I love presenting as a woman and I am happiest when I am able to be a woman because it is the best fit for "me."

And so it goes.

 

Femulator

Source: Femulate Archives

Womanless beauty pageant contestant.

 

Femulate_Her_web

 

 

Source: ShopBop

Wearing Rodebjer cape-coat, Harvey Faircloth shirred top, J Brand
skinny jeans, Jonathan Adler clutch and IRO pumps.

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Looking for Answers on 14th Street

By Paula Gaikowski

Source: Paula Gaikowski

Back before the term “transgender” was used, when men who wore dresses were called "faggot" and "pervert," I was a field engineer whose territory covered lower Manhattan.

Isolated, confused, and trans, I would sometimes stop and buy Drag magazine. I would read it hidden away in the back of a New York deli or sometimes take my lunch on a bench near Trinity Church in the shadow of the twin towers. Here in relative anonymity, I would enter into a world where there were others like me.

An advertisement in the back pages of Drag caught my eye and stuck in my mind for weeks, coaxing me to Lee’s Mardi Gras boutique a few blocks way.  

''Half of my clients are respectable-looking businessmen,'' Mr. Brewster said in an interview in The Village Voice, ''Very normal, but they know better than to present that side of themselves.''

I was one of those guys in a suit and tie, nodding and shyly going about my business! The neighborhood was in the meat-packing district and here we mean actual meat used in stores and restaurants --- no pun intended this time.

''He wanted people to have to find him. He tried to protect his customer base," said Antoinette Scarpinato, a former employee of Lee’s.

That’s for sure! The outside entrance was not obvious. A steel door with a 4-inch square window and a series of doorbells along the side. A visitor would have to read the list to find the scribbled name “Lee’s Mardi Gras,” then ring the bell.

As you waited there for a response, rugged swarthy men wearing blood-covered overalls lugged hand carts with sides of beef while loading trucks across the street.  All the while I remember thinking that they all knew why I was there, and what “I was,” and I just knew that they were laughing and mocking me silently.

The first time, I chickened out and ran before someone answered. Next time, a few months later, I waited and a voice crackled over the intercom and assured me that they would be downstairs soon. I remember the woman who came to greet me was very pretty, but knowing the context of the venue, I was sure she was transgender.

The steel door slammed shut behind us. It was dark and smelled dank and musty. It was that New York City smell and was ironically comforting because it reminded of my grandmother's basement in Greenpoint Brooklyn except this wasn’t Babcia leading me down the hallway. This exotic woman led me to an antiquated closet-sized elevator. The door closed, then it rattled and coughed its way upward.

The whole time I kept stealing glances at her. I was in awe of her as if she were a movie star.

The door opened to stylish boutique. The shop was nicely done up in an urban loft setting with brick walls and the merchandise neatly displayed. She was kind, helpful, and comforting and put me at ease.

This was the first transgender person I ever met and it was the first time I ever told someone that I was also transgender.

Together we picked out a wig. It was my first one, auburn in color and in a 1990’s big hair style. She coached me how to style it and gave me one bit of important advice that I still remember. “Whether you want to be a queen on stage or one of those pretty girls you see on Wall Street, it takes work. They all work very hard to look good.”

I would go back a few times a year, not because I needed to buy anything, but because of the acceptance I felt while being there. Lee’s was an oasis for me back then.

Over the next few years, I met Lee on several occasions at the store and also at his bookstore near the Port Authority Bus Terminal. He understood the conundrum we married men in suits and ties struggled with and kindly offered support and guidance.

Today I’ve reached a point of self-acceptance and don’t really care what swarthy meat packers or store clerks think.

It’s astonishing to realize that a few short years ago transgender people needed to shop in clandestine boutiques and that support groups operated with cloak and dagger secrecy. Thanks to the support of Lee and others pioneers, today I go out and shop in mainstream stores and hold my head high. Now we are seeing cities and states passing transgender protection laws, the EOC has ruled that transgender people are protected, major corporations include transgender people in their diversity statements.

Among the corporations that expanded their medical insurance for transgender people are Apple, Chevron, General Mills, Dow Chemical, American Airlines, Kellogg, Sprint, Levi Strauss, Eli Lilly, Best Buy, Nordstrom, Volkswagen (US division), Whirlpool, Xerox, Raytheon, and Office Depot.

The struggle for transgender rights is far from over. I urge us all to remember that each and every one of us is a role model, advocate, and educator. You don’t need to be highly visible or carry a sign in the Pride parade. We must be thankful for people like Lee Brewster, but you can do something as simple as supporting a girlfriend with a kind e-mail or standing up against a bigoted transgender remark at work.

Slowly, but surely attitudes will change and people will be educated, then hopefully others will no longer need to feel the isolation, guilt, shame, and  struggle as many of us did searching for answers in Drag magazine or in a loft on 14th Street.

 

Femulator

Source: Femulate Archives

Professional femulators of Le Carrousel in Paris, 1960.

 

Femulate_Her_web

 

 

Source: Elle

Wearing Kate Spade.

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Vintage Femulation Magazines

2013-10-09-FMv1n4 My previous posts about Lee Brewster and Drag magazine have spawned nostalgic  comments here and on Facebook about old magazines. For example, Pat commented, "If I could get my hands on a Drag or Female Mimics I would stash them and read them over and over again."

Vintage copies of these magazines occasionally show up on eBay, but the prices are exorbitant. A copy of Female Mimics Volume 1, Number 1 recently went for $34 and that is typical for that popular auction website.

But all is not lost. Using magazines from the 1950s, 1960s, and other decades as source material, Fetish Nostalgia has created digital, ebook versions (in Adobe Acrobat .pdf format) of a variety of periodicals and publications that are of interest to Femulate readers. The titles include Female Mimics, Female Impersonators, Drag Queen, Guys in Gowns, Letters from Female Impersonators, etc. The classic Female Impersonator's Handbook by Pudgy Roberts is also available.

The prices are very attractive ($3 to $5 for most of the femulation-related titles) and delivery is practically instantaneous: order on-line and within an hour you receive an e-mail directing you to a webpage where you can download your purchases.

I have ordered most of femulation-related titles over the past few years; I am a very satisfied with the service and highly recommend it.

 

Femulator

Men 2006

Femulators socializing, circa 2006.

 

Femulate_Her_web

 

 

Source: Pink Tartan

Wearing Pink Tartan.

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Eureka: Drag! --- The Rest of the Story

Lee Brewster In my post yesterday, I failed to mention Lee Brewster, the publisher of Drag magazine.

Lee was not only the publisher of Drag, he was a mover and shaker in our community.

In the early 1970s, he organized drag balls and began a mail-order business that catered to the needs of the community.

Mr. Lee's mail-order business became so popular that he expanded it to a brick and mortar boutique in Lower Manhattan known as "Lee's Mardi Gras Boutique," and it became the shopping epicenter for girls who came from all over the country to buy Lee's wares.

For many girls, visiting Lee's store gave them their first opportunity to buy shoes and clothing that fit, to purchase wigs and cosmetics without feeling self-conscious, and to discover that they were not alone.

Lee passed on in May 2000 and his obituary in The New York Times is worth reading.

I was aware of Lee's store, but I was too closeted to shop there during my trips to The City mainly because I was usually accompanied by a friend or relative, who did not know all about me.

 

Femulator      

www.femulate.org

Markus Kenzie, fashion model.

 

Femulate_Her_web

Source: MyHabit

Wearing Pink Tartan (skirt).

Monday, October 7, 2013

Eureka: Drag!

www.femulate.org In my late teens and early twenties, I would occasionally take the train into Manhattan and explore The City. During one of my explorations, I was taking in the huge display of magazines and newspapers on sale at the newsstand in Grand Central Terminal, when what to my wandering eyes should appear, but a magazine titled Drag.

Now, this was not the typical drag magazine I was used to seeing back home --- magazines that featured hemis, gassers, headers, blowers, mag wheels, Garlits, funny cars, etc. No, this drag magazine featured guys in gowns, boys in bras, men in minis, fellows in fishnets, males in marabou, etc.

Wow! I had found a magazine just for me!

I looked around me to see if anyone was looking at me looking at the magazine sitting on the rack. The coast was clear, so I reached for the magazine and flipped through it quickly to make sure it really was a magazine about trannies and not trannies. Satisfied, I handed it to the newsdealer and paid the exorbitant (for circa 1970) cover price of $3.

As the newsdealer put the magazine in a brown paper bag and handed it to me, he gave me a dirty look. No fan of trannies was he, but I did not care because I had in my hands something I hoped would expand my knowledge of the world that I seemed to be part of.

 

Femulator

Source: queermusicheritage.com

Professional femulator Laverne Cummings, circa 1960.

 

Femulate_Her_web

Source: Pinterest

A queen of the world.

Saturday, October 5, 2013

Things are different now

By Paula Gaikowski

Paula-2013-10-05

I go into Boston every few months to meet with my therapist and discuss my ongoing life as a transgender woman. I wrote about these visits in a previous Femulate.

Whenever possible I like to go en femme. Having an 11 AM appointment this Friday gave me the perfect window of opportunity to “slip” (pun intended) out of the house. I had a nice printed skirt and black jacket picked out. I made my way into Boston on the Mass Pike past Fenway Park and the Prudential Center and then downtown to BU Medical Center.

I arrived 90 minutes early and strolled around the busy urban campus stopping to buy a bottle of water. Running a gauntlet of construction workers on coffee break, I waltzed in, picked out a bottle of Poland Spring and was served with a smile by the clerk and nary a raised eyebrow from the burly crew of intimidating hard hats.

With my confidence bolstered, I was off and on my way. It was a good feeling to be bustling along the streets of Boston dressed as a professional woman and  I let myself get lost in the daydream of being just like them someday.

Once I arrived to the doctor's office, I used the ladies room, fixed my makeup and hair, then went out to the lobby where it was bright and sunny. I saw a woman about my age sitting there so I figured what the heck, I need to start interacting with people as a woman. I sat down and commented on the traffic to start a conversation. What followed was about a 20-minute conversation about the fall colors, vacations on the Cape verses New Hampshire and Maine, her niece's wedding and concerns for the friend that she was waiting for.

Ordinary and common place would be good words to describe the conversation. But to me it was phenomenal. I was accepted by another as a woman. It was one of the most validating and powerful incidents I’ve experienced en femme to date. So much so that I was off balance emotionally the rest of the day. Last night, I couldn’t sleep and woke up at 3 AM.

I told my therapist about it and we discussed many other things that morning, but this friendly encounter still has me lost in thought and emotions on a beautiful Saturday morning in New England. Something happened, something changed; I don’t know what, but things are different now.

 

Femulator

Source: Imgur

Shopping at Nordstrom’s.

 

Femulate_Her_web

Source: ShopBop

Wearing Diane von Fürstenberg.

Friday, October 4, 2013

It is a great time to be a tall woman

Source: Google

I am over six feet tall, so I am a tall woman.

In my early teens, I became interested in tall women because they affirmed my existence as a tall woman, that is, I was not the only tall woman out and about in society. Few were as tall as me, but maybe there were enough out there so that I could blend in more easily as just another tall woman.

In the past, tall women tried to blend in with their shorter sisters, so they dressed down (pun intended); instead of celebrating their height, they tried to hide it (to appear less intimidating to men).

Also, tall women did not have a lot to choose from clothes-wise. Few clothiers catered to tall women, so tall women had to make do with what was available, which typically did not celebrate tall women's height.

Today, tall women are out and proud and celebrate their height. They have more clothing to choose from now that more clothiers recognize their potential as customers. They no longer dress down to hide their height. They wear high heels and leg baring skirts and dresses. They don't care if they are intimidating. They've come a long way!

It is a great time to be a tall woman!

To celebrate tall women, I maintain a list of tall female celebrities, my Famous Females of Height List. Here are latest additions to the list, including two Baldwins who are unrelated. However, the 6'2" Baldwin is related to actors Kim Basinger and Alec Baldwin (she's their daughter).

5'8" - Emmy Rossum - actress - television - Shameless

5'9" - Emily Deschanel - actress - television - Bones

5'10" - Brooke Baldwin - news anchor - CNN (photo above)

6'0" - Ashlan Gorse - American entertainment journalist - E!

6'2" - Ireland Baldwin - fashion model

 

Femulator

Source: Google

Andrej Pejic, fashion model.

 

Femulate_Her_web

Source: The Huffington Post

Wearing Alice + Olivia.

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Good Luck

IMG_0826_web

After my OMG moment at the mall on Monday, I decided to quit shopping and celebrate my admission into the girls' club by going to the casino and having a little fun.

After a leisurely hour drive, I parked my car at the Mohegan Sun casino and headed to the 25-cents slot machines. I prefer the old school "mechanical" slot machines and sadly (for me), they are being replaced by new school digital slot machines. However, there are still enough old school machines at Mohegan Sun to keep me occupied.

Almost immediately, I won $60 on a 50-cent play.

When I win big, I move on to a different slot machine and shortly after moving, I won $125 on a 75-cent play. Within 15 minutes of arriving, I had gained $185 and an admirer.

I noticed my admirer standing nearby checking me out while I was winning $125. After that win, I switched machines and a few minutes later, my admirer sat at the machine right next to me. The casino was quiet and there were plenty of unoccupied machines everywhere, but this guy had to sit right next to me.

It was flattering, but my admirer was sloppily dressed, needed a shave, and reeked of cigarette smoke (what a catch!). I had no interest in becoming better acquainted, so I cashed out and moved on to a different section of the casino.

Admittedly, I was not dressed to blend (what fun is that?) and as a result, I had some admirers at the casino. For example, I noticed a few times that as I walked by a craps table, there were eyes on me rather than the dice.

I ordered a free drink from a waitress and when she returned a few minutes later, she touched my wrist and wished me, "Good luck, honey" without blinking an eye.

My luck at the slot machines cooled down and I was playing even-steven for a while, so I took a break. I visited the casino's shopping mall where there are some opportunities for a Kodak moment. I stopped a young woman and asked her to take my photo with my iPhone and she happily did so. And after taking a few shots, she said, "You look lovely."

It was all very affirming and very flattering.

I returned to the casino, played even-steven for about 45 minutes, then I won $60 on a 50-cent play. I decided to quit while I was ahead, cashed out and beat the rush hour traffic home.

I had a lot of fun on Monday and look forward to doing it again as soon as possible.

 

Femulator

www.femulate.org

Actor Heinz Rühmann femulating in the 1956 West German film Charley's Tante.

 

Femulate_Her_web

 

 

Source: Victoria’s Secret

Wearing Victoria’s Secret.

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Dressed Fashionably

eyeglasses keeps the hair out of my eyes

The weather during my vacation was fantastic: no rain, lots of sun and temperatures in the low to mid-70s during the day, cooling off in the evening for perfect sleeping conditions. The weather man predicted more of the same for my Monday outing en femme.

Do I dress for fall or do I dress for summer?

I had put together an outfit for each season, but since I have three months ahead of me to dress for fall, I decided to go with the summer outfit: white shorts (JCPenney), multi-colored top (DressBarn), pink scarf (Avon), black bag (JCPenney) and white wedges (Payless), which are the most comfortable women's shoe I have ever owned. My jewelry consisted of black and silver earrings (Napier), black watch (Avon) and Pandora knock-off charm bracelet (Avon).

The outfit was basically the same one I wore on Thursday of Hamvention week. The difference was that back in May, the only people who saw me in that outfit were the folks I encountered in my hotel and at a gas station somewhere in Ohio. Monday, I would be seen by a lot more people at the mall and at the casino. And so it went.

Since I am breaking in a new hairdo, after I did my makeup and got dressed I spent a lot of time working with my hair trying to get it just so. After a lot of combing and spraying, I was happy with my new do, so I grabbed my purse and hit the road.

Twenty minutes later, I parked my car at the Macy's entrance of West Farms Mall. I received immediate affirmation as I entered Macy's as two female sales reps smiled and greeted me.

An aside: it is so pleasant to walk through the mall, make eye contact and exchange smiles (and sometimes greetings) with other women shopping or working in the mall.

My shopping goal was to buy a blazer. I knew it would be a difficult goal to achieve because I have long arms (my sleeve's not too short – my arms are too long!) I searched through Macy's and JCPenney and found blazers that fit my torso, but none that fit my arms (not even close). So I failed to achieve my goal.

While I was at it, I tried on some skirts in Macy's and JCPenney. I fell in love with a red flirty skirt in Macy's that was a perfect fit, but its $70 price tag kept my wallet at bay.

As I was looking through the racks at JCPenney, a middle-aged African-American woman (probably younger than me) approached me and asked, "Can I ask you a question?"

I had no idea what she was going to ask ("What time is it?" "Where did you buy your shoes?" "Are you a tranny?"). I girded my loins, smiled and agreed to answer her question.

"You're dressed fashionably, so I'd like your opinion about a pair of slacks I was thinking about buying."

Wow! I certainly did not see that coming!

We discussed the merits of the slacks. I did not like what she had picked out and suggested something with a bolder pattern. She admitted that she really did not like what she had picked out and liked my suggestion better.

I pointed out a skirt with a pattern similar to what I had in mind and her eyes lit up as she said, "I saw slacks with that pattern. Now I just have to find them again! Thank-you for your help."

"Good luck," I said.

Then I took a deep breath.

“Oh, my God!” I screamed to myself.

 

Femulator

www.femulate.org

Actor Aaron Paul (center) femulating as Breaking Bad’s Jane.

 

Femulate_Her_web

 

 

Source: ShopBop

Wearing Robert Rodriguez.