Moms, Dads and Female Sons

When my Dad saw me dressed en femme for the first time (for Halloween), he gave me some fatherly advice: watch out for boys who might want to have their way with me.

I had a good relationship with my Dad. He did his best to raise my sister and I. Maybe he did not know what to do with his feminine son, so he did not interfere and let me find myself. He let my sister find herself, too, so I guess he thought that was the best way to raise girls.

On the other hand, Mom was very hands-on raising her kids. While my sister was independent and frustrated some of my Mom's attempts to raise her a certain way, I was a Momma's boy tied to her apron strings and she was able to mold me into the daughter she always wanted.

That's why she never complained about me wearing her clothes when I was home alone or why she did not throw away my stash of female finery that I had hidden in my room. She knew I wanted to be a girl and I so regret not confiding with her about it.

 

Actor Thomas Gorrebeeck femulating on stage in Compleat Female Stage Beauty (2011).

 

Wearing Tibi dress and Riley shoes.

Two Posts in One

Zip Tip

You may recall my do-it-yourself solution to zipping up dresses. I first mentioned my solution in February 2012 and revisited it in July 2012.

It is not a perfect solution. On two or three occasions, when pulling up a difficult zipper, the safety pin opened and stabbed me! Since then, I have looked for a better solution and I believe I found it.

I replaced the large safety pin on my zipper helper with a small snap hook (see photo) that was attached to a laser pointer that I use to entertain our cats. It is large enough to handle difficult zippers, but it is small enough to attach through the tiny holes proffered by the teardrop pull tabs used with some zippers. And the snap hook is spring-loaded so it will not open in mid-zip.

Heroines

Monika Kowalska is a Member of this blog and has a cool website that I happened upon: My Transgender Heroines, which features "1497 stories of famous and well-known and lesser-known transgender women and girls from around the world to show us how to live with dignity in accordance with their own psyche and that it is better to be hated for who you are, than loved for who she is not."

The website is in Polish, but Google translates it easily, so don't let the language barrier prevent you from visiting it.

 

Actors Alec Mapa, Robert Kaiser, Stephen Spinella, and Chris Logan
femulating in the film Connie and Carla, 2004.

 

Wearing Vince.

Got God?

I read "Conservative Christianity and the transgender question" in The Washington Post‘s On Faith column on Friday and it made me sick. I wanted to go medieval on Russell Moore for his despicable column and I spent the weekend trying to come up with the right words to answer Moore's piece.

Monday, Sharon Groves answered Moore in the On Faith column ("What transgender people teach us about God, and our humanity") and saved me the trouble of going medieval.

(Actually, I don't mind going medieval. It's the clean up afterwards that I don't care for.)

Just a thought: What if God was trans? That would be the last laugh for a lot of people!

Later.

 

Kuranosuke cosplay by Feeracie.

 

Wearing DailyLook.

Black Velvet or Virginia Slims?

On Friday, I asked if anyone was familiar with the urban legend about a male model posing as a female in the Black Velvet whisky print advertisements that began appearing circa 1970.

I received a response from Brenda, who claimed that the male model posing as a female was in a Virginia Slims cigarette advertisement, not a Black Velvet whisky ad. She added that the model in question was a blond wearing a denim shirt.

I searched the Internet and found a lot of Virginia Slims ads, but none featuring a model in a denim shirt.

And so it goes!

 

Louisville (Kentucky) Male High School ballet, 1903.

 

Wearing Nine West.

Prom Missed

Money Woes? Then Share Your Clothes

Black Velvet (Not Friday) On My Mind Again

Remember the Black Velvet whisky advertisements featuring beautiful women wearing black velvet outfits (usually evening gowns).

"The first Black Velvet Lady, Patricia Victoria Miller, was introduced to the world in 1969 as an advertisement tool for Black Velvet. Since that time, such famous names as Christie Brinkley, Cybill Shepard, Kim Alexis, Cheryl Tiegs, Micah Wylde, and Kelly Emberg have all been Black Velvet Ladies." (Source:  Wikipedia)

Out of the blue yesterday, I received an e-mail from Stephen who wrote, "I recall reading that one of the models in a Black Velvet ad was actually a male. Is that true?"

That was news to me. I had never heard that urban legend and I wonder if there is anything to it. Stephen admitted that he did not recall the source of the story.

Does anyone have any information regarding this?

 

  

My friend Dianne from South Africa.

 

Wearing Parker (dress), Salvatore Ferragamo (bag),
Rachel Zoe (shoes), and Stella McCartney (glasses).

End of Feminine

Jenifer asked, "What do you think will become of femulate, when there is nothing female left to emulate. We all seem to be in jeans and T-shirts these days. As a 40-something girl, I find it very had to pass or blend in with my female counterparts as they are either slobs in leggings and baggy tops or trying hard to be 18 again in skinny jeans and crop tops.  A few of my female friends don't even own a dress or skirt. There is just no elegance left."

I guess this is where we separate the girls from the boys who just want to dress like girls.

The boys who just want to dress like girls will continue to seek out and wear the feminine styles from the last century. In the future, it may become difficult to buy those styles off the rack and the boys will have to resort to buying from specialty shops to buy their dresses, skirts and shoes just like the sissy crowd does today.

On the other hand, the girls will dress like cisgender girls no matter what cisgender girls are wearing. That is, to a point; tastes vary and some girls will not wear certain styles no matter how popular they may be. And whether all girls will abandon "feminine" styles completely remains to be seen.

Personally, I have yet to femulate in jeans and a baggy top because I seldom femulate in scenarios calling for very casual wear. However, if I lived full-time as a girl, I am sure jeans and baggy tops would be a part of my wardrobe.

And for what it is worth, I have shopped for women's jeans, but could not find any that fitted properly. Also, I do own and wear woman's slacks in a variety of styles, so I do not shun bifurcated womenswear per se.

 

   

Actor Sean Bean femulates in British television’s Accused, 2012.

 

Wearing Equipment (sweater), Current/Elliott (pants), Rag & Bone (belt),
Diane von Furstenberg (shoes) and Golden Lane (clutch).

The Good Wife

Being a good wife is no fun!

One thing or another has kept me in trousers lately. I thought I could get out en femme this week, but with my daughter home slowly recovering from her accident and our transportation options down to one vehicle, I do not want to leave my wife and daughter home without wheels while I go out and have a good time in heels.

In this regard, the blog is a blessing as it helps me be en femme virtually when I cannot be en femme actually.

 

American soldiers femulating on stage in 1944.

 

Model Suzy Parker, circa 1955.

Boy’s Day Out – Part 2

By Michelle

While most adventure stories on Femulate concern days out en femme, Michelle’s story is about a day out en homme.

A Day at the Races?

Back to the “boys’ day out.” I then described the event where the photos were taken and the story of how I bought the wig – too much detail I imagine, but after many years of waiting, the floodgates had opened and I wanted to talk.

Here is a link back to the Femulate.

I first found Femulate earlier this year after I was surfing the net and found the post by Carolyn about her “Royal Ascot Adventure” going dressed to this annual big hat extravaganza in Southern England (I think that some horses are involved, too).

I explained to my mate that my next project is to go there in 2014, but there are many logistical problems of doing so. For instance I don’t want to be a center of attention, so going with a group of TVs is not really an option for me. As those are the only people I know who I could go with, going on my own would be the only option available, which is fine (if scary) as I don’t mind my own company.

I was not really fishing for offers (or was I?), but he said if I wanted somebody to go with, he would accompany me. Wow again!

Since then, I have thanked him for this offer, partly for him to have a “means of escape” from that offer if he wanted one, but he has confirmed he meant it. Next June is a long way off and there are many hurdles to overcome. One is how I would explain having shaved legs for the following few weeks of summer.

I really felt that I had rediscovered my best friend and we had really confided in each other on a number of issues. We discussed a whole range of other things, too. We returned to our cars on the “Park and Ride” bus and had a small drink in a nearby pub as we both had decent drives home to do. I thanked him for letting me talk about what had been happening in my life, and said I think I needed to do that as he could more understand where I was coming from. I said especially thanks for letting me show him the photos, but I warned him that he was lucky; normally if a TV offers to show you some photos, you will normally have to sit through more than two. Most importantly I joked that “great shoes” was the correct response.

He said he sometimes knew the right things to say and that he felt honored that I had trusted him enough to show them to him.

Leggy Blonde

Before I finish, here’s a “careful what you wish for” moment.

My friend had been very honest and said that I was not the first person he had offered the Silverstone ticket to (his son was otherwise committed for one).

Pretending that I was offended by this and appealing to our joint sense of humor, I said I wasn’t happy to be the recipient of his ticket cast-offs, but in the circumstances, I suppose I’d better go.

He replied that he was glad I could come as he was running out of “leggy blondes” he could ask to go with him.

During our picnic as I showed him the photos included in this article, I had to smile to myself. The person he saw in the pictures was blonde (if not a true one) and at 6’ 1” with a 34” inseam, she’s definitely leggy, too. It could have been so easy to grant his wish! However, I think certain other attributes he might have expected would have been absent.

In all seriousness, it wouldn’t really have been the right place for attending en femme – a bit too much testosterone at motor racing events. About 90% of the spectators were male and apart from staff, I don’t think I saw a skirt being worn all day and certainly not the place for any kind of heel. However, I’m sure I would have encountered no difficulties had I’d chosen to do so as everyone seemed well behaved, but dressing to blend into the background would have been the order of the day.

As I drove home at the end of the day, I felt both elated and relieved that I had managed to offload some of the things that I had wanted to say for many years. Unfortunately, I now wanted to tell other people about the conversations I’d had with my mate, which was not really possible. Now, if I can sort out the logistics before next June, and do a bit of homework on horse racing (I know nothing), Royal Ascot remains a possibility, although certainly not a probability. I think I may have just the shoes, too!

Posh frocks and big hats, here I come!

 

Actor Paulo Gustavo (left) femulating in Minha Mãe é uma Peça : O Filme, a 2013 film from Brazil.

 

Wearing Le Redoute.

Boys’ Day Out

By Michelle

While most adventure stories on Femulate concern days out en femme, Michelle’s story is about a day out en homme.

Can You Keep a Secret?

The attached photo is one of the few taken of me en femme which I am happy with and don’t mind showing; the rest are for “my eyes only.” It was taken at a charity ball last autumn and had a new lease of life recently. Let me tell you the story.

I have a best mate, who I have known for over 35 years, although we have lived some distance apart for most of that time. We met up for a meal around 12 years ago; the conversation turned to music (a mutual passion) and he said he missed our teenage days when we could go for a dance at the local disco.

I informed him that I still did – to which he inquired where do you do that? I had waited for an opportunity to tell him about my other half – was this it? I hesitated, drew a deep breath and asked, “Can you keep a secret?”

He replied, “Yes.”

I explained that I was a crossdresser and that a group of us met monthly for a disco in the large back room of a pub.

He was quite taken aback and said he didn’t have the slightest idea about me. I felt relieved about that. What would have been very embarrassing was if he had said something like, “I guessed as I’d noticed traces of mascara on you in the past.”

The conversation moved on and he said he felt pleased that I had trusted him and said he would tell me a secret about him, which he then did. What was it? I can’t tell you – it’s a secret! All that I can say is that it wasn’t that he also crossdresses.

To this day he is the only male I have told about my alter ego.

Great Shoes
 
Time moved on and the subject was never really mentioned again – in fact, if the conversation ever strayed in that area, he would swiftly step in to move it in another direction or so it seemed.

More recently, he had been concerned about various issues, which he was very keen to tell me about. As with the confidential information I had told him, I felt pleased that he trusted me enough to tell me these things. However, some of these were quite heavy and involved long conversations, normally on the phone, in which I did at least 95% of the listening.

Let’s just say it got quite draining at times, but he has always been appreciative of the time I gave him and the occasional comments I offered. And to quote the song, “That’s what friends are for.”

The more I listened about his life, the more I wanted to tell him more about mine, such as the fact that I now quite regularly go out “in public” including pubs, meals and shopping trips. He was still under the impression that I only went to the same non-public disco and an occasional TV weekend away. I bided my time.

Recently he offered me tickets to the British Grand Prix at Silverstone – a real “boys’ day out.” I took him up on his offer. It was the first time we had met up in many years without family or friends around, probably since that meal 12 years ago, which makes me think he may have been wary about setting up another opportunity in which he wouldn’t know what I would come out with.

At the start of the day we chatted and after a while he brought me up to date with developments in his life, but said that he was very aware that he had hogged conversations recently, so he kept his update short.

I asked if I could tell him about some of the things that had happened to me and my friends. I started with the tale of my good friend who just over a year ago, went “en femme” full time.

To my surprise he listened and asked relevant, interested questions; this was a little unexpected, but I feel that he had come to terms with things in his own life, which may explain it. During the course of the day he asked more about my friend and her situation in a very positive way; this did not surprise me because he is a non-judgmental person – unlike me.

As we ate our picnic, I took the final step when I asked “Do you mind if I show you some photos of me?”

I had put these into my wallet, but didn’t want to force the issue. He said he didn’t mind at all. I only had two (can you imagine that – a TV with only two photos to show!?), which I handed over to him.

He looked and said, “Amazing,” and “I never would have guessed that was you,” and finally, and I think most surprisingly, “Great shoes!” Isn’t that what every girl (transgender or cisgender) wants to hear? Wow!

Actually, the photos don’t show off my 5-inch killer silver heels in silver that I bought for only £8 in a sale and… ooh sorry, I got distracted – oops!

Showing pictures is always a tough one – once you’ve done it there’s no going back. The person you show them to will never quite see you as the same person again. However, this reaction was off the top of my hoped for reactions. I could have gotten “No, I don’t want to see them,” which I could understand and respect or much worse, like laughter or even disgust. I would have thought the latter unlikely, but you can never tell.

Apart from my wife, there is one other person who knows about me: a work colleague. I have taken in photos to show her, but never thought the time was appropriate to “bring them out.” Would she be interested in seeing them, but doesn’t want to ask? If I showed her would she look at them, but be embarrassed as she does not really want to see that side of me? Yes, showing photos is a big step – what do you do? Comments on this matter would be most welcome.

(“Boy’s Day Out – Part 2” will appear here on Tuesday.)
 

 Male bride, circa 1900.

 Wearing Le Redoute.

How to Keep Your House Hubby Happy

 

Layla and Caroline.

 

 

 

Wearing Le Redoute.

Such Pretty Eyes

Typically, I gas up the Subaru at Stop & Shop after grocery shopping. The cashier for the gas concession is usually one of four people.

Today, a 30-something woman was working the cash register. I have dealt with her on about four occasions during the past few months. She is always business-friendly, but today, as I returned to the cashier booth to get change from my gasoline purchase, she remarked, "You have such pretty eyes!"

I was in boy mode, wearing glasses and almost blurted out, "You should see them when I wear makeup." But I was so taken aback by her compliment that all I could get out of my mouth was "thank-you."