Where You Can Be Fired For Being Transgender

Courtesy of The Huffington Post.

Wednesday’s Wash

I am now a housewife

My spouse's health has deteriorated to a point where she can no longer do some of the household chores she used to do. So, in addition to my full-time job, I now do the housekeeping that my spouse used to do.

I do the laundry, dust, vacuum, and perform most of the cleaning chores around the house. I have not cooked much since my college apartment-dwelling days, but I have begun cooking some of our meals, too.

Since I am now a housewife, I want to dress like a housewife, but I don't know any housewives who dress like Donna Stone!

Blame Godzilla, King of the Monsters

When I was young, I loved monsters and flying saucers. So it is no surprise that Sheb Wooley's novelty song Purple People Eater was number one on my hit parade when it came out in 1958.

In the ensuing 55 years, I never heard anyone else sing that song… until yesterday. I was visiting Peter Lappin's blog and discovered a version sung by Judy Garland (I kid you not).

Here's the link --- the song is at the end of the blog post.

 

A femulator, circa 2007.

 

Wearing Opening Ceremony.

Janet’s Story

By Janet Lynn Stickney

My name is Janet Lynn Stickney. Some, maybe most of you may know me from my writings, which are posted on the four major sites (Big Closet, Sapphires, Storysite, and Fictionmania) that have agreed to post my writings and some have even been translated into foreign languages!

During over 40 years in the trans community, I have always, until recently, been actively involved in promoting better laws and more education for the law enforcement community. In the early 7's, I became the first president of Crossroads Chapter located in Detroit, a group founded by my friend, Grace Bacon. Over the next 30 years, I held every post in the group until finally I retired from the board and was awarded a life membership.

I was president when the four founding clubs [Crossroads (Detroit), Paradise (Ohio), Transpitt(Pittsburg), and Tri-Ess (Chicago)} of the Be-All convention began. Our first convention was held in a hotel the was half the size we needed! We figured 100 or so attendees and 200 showed up! We can proudly point to our beginnings of the Be-All when we see what it has evolved into.

Even now, I look back at what we have accomplished in the trans community and remember when it was truly dangerous to go out. We have come a very long way. Not far enough, but moving forward.

I am now completely retired both from my job and as an active member of any group. My job because I had the age and time; the groups because I have suffered two strokes which have rendered my abilities to become Janet problematic. I can walk and talk and I have both hands, but I wobble and I shake a little. Tough to do eyeliner with the shakes and heels are definitely out.

I am NOT complaining. My God has been good to me, gracing me with two beautiful and very successful daughters, along with grandchildren that we adore. My bride has always been by my side during my participation in all of the events, conventions and meetings, both within and without the trans community. I love her dearly, and would be lost without her. I have it all.

The pictures included here, one taken when I was about 16, another when I was 17, and two when I was about 59, show the progression of both age and experience. In all cases, that is my own hair; I never used a wig.

In my writings I have always held what I thought was the higher ground, never debasing any of the characters, but trying to portray them in a realistic, but somewhat rosy way. Many disagree, but many others told me that they enjoyed the read, so frankly, I write what I like and leave it there.

Now that I have retired my heels for the flats, I look back on my many years as a proud member of the trans community and know in my heart that I have helped many of our sisters find that inner peace we need to live with, and possibly expose, that beautiful girl we have inside, as well as making it just a bit safer for us to go out. It is my fervent hope that all of you find that solace and someone to share it with. There is nothing better in life than knowing that you have that one special person to share your life with.

 

Bobby Darling, according to Wikipedia, “is an Indian actress who has acted in Bollywood and regional Indian films. Darling, who was born biologically male, self-identifies as a woman, insists that interviewers address her as such, and has had cosmetic surgery towards that end.

 

Wearing Emilio Pucci dress, Nicholas Kirkwood shoes and Swarovski clutch.

Be Gorgeous

As a gal stuck in a guy's body, I can use all the help I can get trying to be a gal. One source that I find helpful is my subscription to the Daily Makeover newsletter.

Last week, the newsletter had advice that I found very useful. Since most of my readers are gals like me, I am passing that advice along.

At my age, I am usually too pooped to Polka when the band starts playing an oberek. I worry that I look pooped, too, so I appreciated "Makeup Tricks To Make You Look Less Tired.”

I also worry about my foundation. What color? Liquid or powder? How to apply it? Et cetera, et cetera. As a result, "The 5 Rules Of Natural-Looking Foundation" was helpful.

Finally, I found "12 Drugstore Finds Beauty Editors Swear By" very informative. I plan to further investigate the items featured in slides 1, 2, 4, 9 and 11.

Be gorgeous, Girls!

 

Actor Robin de Jesus femulating in Camp, a 2003 US film.

 

 

Wearing A.B.S. by Allen Scwartz.

A Very Good WBP

Peoples Unlimited Charities in Scottsdale, Arizona, had a womanless beauty pageant on Saturday, June 1, and the femulations were very good (no bearded ladies!).

This seems to be a regular event for the Peoples Unlimited Charities. I wrote about the 2011 pageant last year and  you can view more photos from their past pageants on their Facebook photo album page.

 

Actor Jim Dale femulating in the 1964 British comedy Carry On Spying.

 

 

 

Wearing Zac Posen.

Fanfares of Love

Actors Dieter Borsche and Georg Thomalla (center and right) femulating in Fanfaren der Liebe (Fanfares of Love), a 1951 West German film in which "two out of work musicians put on drag to get work in an all girl band. Inevitable comical romantic complications ensue," (according to IMDB).

Fanfares is the film that Billy Wilder used as a model for his 1959 classic comedy Some Like It Hot. It was such a big hit that there was a sequel in 1953 titled Fanfaren der Ehe (Fanfare of Marriage). In the sequel, the musicians married two female musicians they met in the earlier film. When the females get work on a cruise ship, their husbands dress as women in order to join them.

By the way, Fanfaren der Liebe was based on a 1935 French film, Fanfare d'Amour (Fanfare of Love), with a similar plot.

 

Wearing Theory.

Opening the Box

Our lady friends love their Pandora charm bracelets.

My wife and I were intrigued, but she seldom wears bracelets, I have too many already and we were both turned off by the high price.

My sister discovered affordable Pandora knock-offs on eBay.

My wife and I were intrigued, but she still seldom wears bracelets and I still have too many already.

Recently, Avon began selling their own Pandora knock-offs; $9.99 for the bracelet, $3.99 for each charm.

(Did I mention that I am an Avon lady?)

My wife relented; she bought the Avon bracelet and some charms they had for sale.

I resisted again because I still have too many bracelets.

In the last Avon new products catalog, Avon introduced some new Pandora knock-off charms including two charms that are exclusive for Avon representatives: one, a miniature tube of lipstick and the other, a miniature perfume bottle.

I could no longer resist. After all, a girl can’t have too many bracelets!

 

Actor Jared Leto (right) femulating in the 2013 film Dallas Buyers Club.

 

Wearing Kohl’s.

Elaine Writes About Her Photo

 

Elaine Armen

This photaroid was taken 22-23 years ago. It brings back a lot of memories, good and bad from the closeted years.  

The Good: The high-necked white Edwardian top (think Prince and Purple Rain) that looked good and covered a lot of sins, a leather mini with tasteful hem length that seemingly shrank whenever I sat down, black knee-length boots with 3½ inch heels (that didn't make it into the frame), the black (big hair) wig that I liked without the tease and spray, and a few glorious (albeit secreted) minutes getting to explore my femme self.

The Bad: Layers of hosiery (pre-shaving) that were hot, hot, hot in the summer, my self-taught rudimentary makeup skills (predating the abundant Internet tutorials), deep red lipstick (not my color), the pose (that's a pose?), the off-center and incomplete framing (a makeshift, time-limited setup), and the constant fear of being discovered fully or partially dressed (what is this crazy desire?)

And yet, I often reflect fondly on this simpler time and the simple temporary pleasure of being myself. Dealing with transgender flame wars and self-serving hierarchies and slippery slope expectations and marital (and social) tensions from being partially out and LGBTQAI conflicting positions and political appropriateness and "are you gay (no), do you want a sex change (no), what is gender?" questions, among other transgender and non-transgender community dealings, only came later for me.

Yes, I think, on the whole, we are better off and more accepted today than ever before because of those things. It's just more complicated.

 

Wearing Alice + Olivia.

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade

I don't like lemonade, so when life gives me lemons, I go shopping!

I received a bushel of lemons yesterday and I am still upset about it today... so upset that I have not been able to concentrate on my work and have walked around the salt mine venting to anyone who will listen.

When I finally returned to my cubicle, I perused my e-mails and noticed one from Ultimate Outlet promoting a "40% Off Summer-Ready Skirts & Dresses" sale. To get my mind off my woes, I visited their website to see what they had.

A cute red and black, chevron print, sleeveless shift dress in my size caught my eye. It was marked down from $149 to $14.75! Factor in the 40% discount and the dress cost only $8.85!

How could I resist?

I ordered the dress as fast as my mouse would let me and enjoyed the short temporary relief that my shopping spree provided.

What’s going on?

I am sure you all are familiar with Andrej Pejić, the male model who more often than not models women's clothing.

I slowly came to the realization that Pejić is just the tip of the iceberg. There are a lot of other girls like Tima Marso (above), who are modeling womenswear despite the fact that they are male. Check out Juan's New Male Fashion blog regularly and you will see a new male womenswear model featured on almost a weekly basis.

And the other shoe dropped recently: female models are now modeling menswear.

What’s going on?

The reason usually cited for males modeling womenswear is that fashion designers prefer female models who have thin boy-like figures. So some designers are just skipping the middle man (or should I say "middle woman") and are hiring thin boys to model their female offerings.

I guess that makes sense, but hiring a female model to model menswear needs some explanation. I assume fashion designers prefer their models to look like males when modeling menswear. That is not east to accomplish when your model is female.

Female-to-male crossdressing is seldom convincing because it's difficult to make a sow's ear out of a silk purse. On the other hand, thin boys can be made into pretty girls with makeup, hairstyling and body-shaping.

Something else must be going on.

Fashion designers may be trying to convince consumers that it is ok to wear womenswear or menswear whether you are a boy or a girl.

In truth, girls don't need much convincing --- they have been borrowing from the boys like forever. On the other hand, boys have just started borrowing from the girls and they need some encouragement.

If they are transwomen, they probably are crossdressing behind the scenes already. Now, the “Andrej Pejić phenomena” is giving them the green light to crossdress everywhere.

Mosey on over to http://imgur.com/r/crossdressing/ and you will be amazed by the number of young men experimenting with femulation. Some of them are already exploring the real world en femme, but most of the photos were shot indoors, not very far from the femulator’s closet. Perhaps encouraged by Miss Andrej and her sister male models, it won't be long before all these young femulators will be moseying to the malls wearing skirts and heels to shop in their favorite dress shops like Jos. A. Bank.

Anything can happen and probably will.

 

Andrey Gordychuk, male womenswear model.

 

Wearing Tibi.

Sweet 16 and How I Lost It

By Paula Gaikowski

The woman was stunning, enjoying a classic feminine beauty that seemed effortless. She moved with an elegant charm in an ivory colored suit, her heels tapped musically as she exited the elevator leaving behind a rich floral scent. Most men would desire her, but I desired to be like her.

A few weeks later, I was in Lord & Taylor where I saw the most beautiful ivory suit on a mannequin. Paired with a pair of black pumps and purse it called out to me. I had to have it.
I checked the rack looking for a size that fit me. The largest one I found was a Misses size 16, but I wore a Women’s size 24. I bought the size 16.

I don’t know why, but I had to have that dress. It didn’t fit; the skirt wouldn’t go past my knees. It hung in my closet for three years. Sometimes I would take it out and hold it up and daydream.

Time had passed and today was the day; the suit was ready back from the cleaners. It hung there in a clear plastic bag. I was ready too, pantyhose, bra, Spanx, hair and makeup. I took her from the hanger and opened the zipper on the skirt, stepped into it, pulled it over my hips, and reached behind and heard the wonderful sound of “zzzippp!” as the skirt fit perfectly around my waist.

As I slipped into the jacket, the satin lining felt cool against my skin. As I worked the buttons closed, the jacket hugged my hips seductively and proudly accented my bust. I sprayed a bit of perfume and then stepped into my shoes. When I turned toward the mirror, there she was: the women from the elevator. Although I was smiling, a tear ran down my cheek.

In 2009, I turned 50 years old and had reached the weight of 280 pounds. I hated how I looked. I was a year or two away from high blood pressure and diabetes. My dreams of expressing my feminine side were slipping away. I was burdened with guilt, shame and self loathing.

Through the years, I had worked so hard and sacrificed for so many things for so many people in my life. Now at 50, the one thing I wanted most, the one thing that had nagged at me since childhood was going to be left unanswered. I could not do it. I could not let it go. I needed to express that woman who I knew lived inside me. I may never transition, but I needed to experience the world as a woman in some way.

I had no plan. I was still lost, but then one day during lunch I went to a local mall. I decided that I was going to buy makeup --- a good quality foundation. I walked around the sleek and polished cosmetic counters in Lord & Taylor. I was feeling horribly out of place and self-conscious.

I walked up to the Lacome counter and stammered out a request for a foundation with heavy coverage. The sales associate told me that their foundations were very sheer, but asked me to wait a minute; she walked over to another kiosk and spoke briefly with another sales associate.

Meanwhile I was turning red with embarrassment; I was sure they were shocked and appalled by my request. I fought the urge to bolt and run as I had done in earlier attempts. But I was starting to get weary of making excuses and being afraid. I had enough and I wasn’t going to run anymore. I was going to stand up to that bully who lived inside of me.

From across the aisle came a smile and a petite wave. Soon I found myself standing in front of an attractive young woman who was the manager of the NARS counter. Kasey, I would later learn her name, was pretty enough to be a model. Her make-up, true to her profession, was artistically perfect. She quickly put me at ease and started to explain the different types of foundations available.

For the first time in my life I spoke the truth openly about who I was. I told her that I was transgender and was starting to use makeup and wanted to develop a conservative business look for going out in the world. I didn’t know what to expect in return. I imagined the worst:  disdain, scorn, condescension, but instead, she responded with enthusiasm and it was contagious.

I listened intently to every word. Fifteen minutes later, I departed and walked proudly back to the car carrying my cute little NARS bag with my new foundation. Best of all, I felt good about my purchase; I didn’t feel guilty or shameful. For the first time in my life I felt acceptance.

About three weeks later I went back to the NARS counter. Still a bit apprehensive and uneasy about what my reception might be, I was relieved to be greeted by Kasey and a friendly smile. “Hey, how’s the foundation working for you?”

She then helped me pick out colors for my eyes and gave me advice on application. When she reached for her business card under the counter I noticed her lunch, a small container of soup, fruit and a bottle of water. As I walked away it dawned on me, if I wanted to look like a slender stylish woman I needed to eat like one.

I was a yo-yo dieter who always went back to a fat and bad carb-based diet. It was what I was used t, and it was destroying me physically, but also destroying any hope I had of stepping out into the world as a woman.

This was an epiphany. At that moment, I associated and connected my diet with being feminine and achieving my dream. I wanted to dress as a woman, socialize as a woman, and be accepted as a woman, that is, in all practical ways, I wanted to live as a woman. I finally realized that along with the clothes, cosmetics, manicures, perfume and hair, I also needed to include a diet!

Now anytime I reached for food I asked myself, “What would a healthy woman eat?” Every time I made a correct choice, it connected me a tiny bit to my feminine side. No longer was making a healthy choice an act of self-denial, but instead, it was self-actualization and a step toward femininity. That realization made all the difference in my battle against weight.

As my weight dropped, I built a wardrobe and began to evolve as a woman. I started seeing a gender therapist and began to talk about my feelings openly. The guilt started to fade away. I began to accept the fact that I was transgender. I wasn’t doing anything wrong and I didn’t have to be ashamed about dressing as a woman. The world opened up to me.

What worked for me was simplicity. I live a busy life. My family has all kinds of foods and busy schedules. I didn’t go out and buy all kinds of diet food. Rather, I started counting calories.

Male bodies (unfortunately that’s what I’m working with here) burn 2000 calories a day if you don’t exercise. So I began slowly changing my diet. For example, for breakfast, instead of a cheese omelet, toast, butter, and bacon, I would have just eggs, maybe some mushrooms, and a slice of toast without butter. Then for lunch, maybe some soup and fruit, or a sandwich and some fruit. We are not even up to 1000 calories yet. Dinner just a small piece of meat, lots of vegetables and maybe some bread.

The trick is to eat different foods and get into a rhythm that is acceptable on a full-time basis. Your hunger will diminish and you will begin to lose weight. On weekends, I don’t go crazy but do enjoy nice dinners, pizza and maybe some beer.

Find an exercise that you can do regularly. If going to the gym is going to cause problems with your busy schedule, then find a niche of free time. I walk. I used to be a runner and laughed at walkers, but research will tell you that the benefits of walking are close to running. Best of all, I can do it anywhere. On the weekends, I can hike in the woods and during the week, I can trek through the office park. A half hour or an hour starts to slice off those 2000 calories.

Most importantly and listen closely here, if you do not enjoy exercise, you won’t keep it up. My walks are an escape. I enjoy them and feel as if something is missing if I don’t get that daily walk in.

The whole process is not rocket science. Eat healthier food, keep it under 2000 calories a day and exercise. The experts emphasize that diets do not work, but that eating healthy does work. I found a reason to eat healthy --- something that gave me more satisfaction than feasting: femininity.

 

Two femulators in Sweden (1967).

 

Wearing Zac Posen (dress) and Loeffler Randal (clutch).

My Art

I added a new link, my art, in the left sidebar and uploaded 290 images that you can view if you click on that link. The images are ones that I created for the blog.

Most of them are captioned photos, fumetti, or parodies that look at the humorous side of being trans. Caveat emptor: I thought they were humorous, or at least ironic, but your mileage may vary.

The upload is a work in progress. I need to edit the titles of the majority of images, but that should not stop you from viewing them.

After I finish with the titles, I plan to upload approximately 50 pieces of artwork that I created for my blogs and websites that predated Femulate.

Enjoy!

Christina Jaclyn, femulating Femulate reader.

Wearing DressBarn.