The Femulated / Femulate Her

THE FEMULATED:

Daniel, Miss Venezuela Gay, 2012

 

FEMULATE HER:

Wearing My Habit.

Being Trans is No Longer a “Mental Illness” But…

Updated Below.

Here is some great news: “as of Dec. 1, trans persons are no longer classified by the medical community as mentally ill…” according to the recently ratified fifth edition of DSM-5, also known as the “psychiatrists' bible.”

We knew this all along, but now those who should be in the know also know!

You can read the rest of the story on The Huffington Post.

Update: Diana just informed me that sadly, there is a big “but” regarding this “good news.” I am trying to sort this out, but in the meantime, you can read this, this and this to learn about the big “but.”

How Stana Falsifies Her Eyes

Yesterday, I wrote about how I have recently become a fan of false eyelashes. Today, I will describe how to put on and take off false lashes.

1.  When you open the package containing the false lashes, remove the lashes from their mooring slowly so as not to damage them. (I wish the adhesive they used to keep the lashes in place in the package worked as well on the eyes.)

2.  Some lashes are too long out of the box. Hold the lash against your eye and if it is too long, use sharp scissors to trim off the access from the end that will be on the outer side of your eye, that is, the end with the longer lashes.

3.  Optionally, trim random lashes to make them look more natural and less perfect.

4.  Squeeze a small glob of lash adhesive on the back of your hand or on a clean spot on your makeup table. Use a toothpick to pick up some glue and apply a thin coat along the band of the lash. Apply an extra dab at each end of the lash. (As hinted in step 1, I find that the adhesive on the pre-glued lashes is inadequate and I use glue even on the pre-glued lashes.) Set the lashes aside and let the adhesive to set for a minute.

5.  Use tweezers to apply the false lash as close and as quickly as possible to the base of your natural lash line on top of your actual lashes. Do not apply the lash on your eyelid. (I use the tweezers that I use to pluck my eyebrows.) The white adhesive will be apparent initially, but it dries clear, so forget about it. Use your fingers to press on the lash from end-to-end and hold it in place as the glue dries.

6.  After the glue has dried completely (no white is visible), fill in any gaps with eyeliner.

7.  Apply mascara and you are done.

8.  Some makeup mavens suggest using an eyelash curler to curl the false and natural lashes together, but I have not been brave enough to try that yet!

When you are finished wearing false lashes, do not rip them off because you may remove your natural lashes in the process. Instead…

1.  Apply baby oil or makeup remover on the lashes to soften the glue and remove the lashes only after the glue is mush.

2.  After taking off the lashes, use makeup remover to remove the glue and other makeup from your eyes and false lashes.

3.  Rinse the false lashes with cool water and let them air dry.

4.  When dry, put the lashes back in their original box.

And keep being pretty!

The Femulated / Femulate Her

THE FEMULATED:

Singer Mick Jagger femulating.

 

FEMULATE HER:

Wearing Spiegel.

False Eye Density

I have recently become a fan of false eyelashes.

When I was a teenager experimenting with makeup like most teenaged girls, I wore (or tried to wear) false lashes. I had no idea what I was doing; I was on my own because I would not ask my mother or sister for help. I usually ended up with a sticky mess, crooked lashes, or lashes that became loose and disappeared down my blouse!

As a result, I was not a big fan of false lashes and seldom bothered with them except for special occasions. A few times, I had successful lash experiences on those special occasions, but most times I was not.

When I had my pre-banquet makeover at Fantasia Fair in October, I paid close attention to how Hera applied my false lashes. I was so impressed with the results that I did some research and successfully applied what I learned when I did my makeup for One Big Event last month.

After that successful do-it-yourself false lashing, I considered wearing false lashes all the time. My lashes are thin and mascara can only take them so far --- nowhere near what false lashes can do. On the other hand, most of the false lashes I have worn were too over the top for everyday wear, so I shelved the idea of wearing false lashes all the time.

Yesterday, I was Christmas shopping. When I passed the cosmetics aisle, I checked out their false lash offerings and discovered lashes that might work for everyday wear. They are Revlon's Beyond Natural brand of lashes, specifically the "Flirty" and "Defining" models, which I think will enhance my lashes without going over the top.

I purchased a set of Defining lashes and will wear them next time out: the Avon representative Christmas party next Tuesday.

Tomorrow, I will describe how I put on and take off my false lashes. Until then, keep on femulating!

The Femulated / Femulate Her

THE FEMULATED:

Actor Robert Caso femulating in the film The Naked Truth, 1992.

 

FEMULATE HER:

Wearing La Redoute.

63 New Yearbook Femulations

Starla found 63 “new” images of femulations in online high school yearbooks and I uploaded them to flickr today.

The photos of two Lone Star ladies (above) are my favorite femulations in this new batch. To view all the new additions to the Yearbook Femulations Collection:

Method 1: Open one of the Yearbooks sets (A through Z) and you will find the newest uploads at the end/bottom of the set. (The oldest uploads appear at the beginning/top of the set.)

Method 2: Open my photostream and you will find the newest uploads at the top of page 1. The uploads get older as the page numbers get higher with the oldest uploads on the last page.
By the way, the contents of the Yearbook A through Z sets are organized according to school name, for example, the photos from Hard Knox High School would be in the Yearbooks H set.

THE FEMULATED / FEMULATE HER

THE FEMULATED:

Actor Ryan Eggold femulating in the film Queen, 2011

 

FEMULATE HER:

Wearing Torn By Ronny Kobo

THE FEMULATED:

 Femulator in Argentina, circa 1925

FEMULATE HER:

Wearing Spiegel

Lush Your Lashes While Aging Gracefully

Girls like us need all the help we can get! Two sources that this girl depends on recently posted some excellent information that I want to share with you today.

"If mascara were one-size-fits-all, there wouldn’t be so many to choose from. But with limitless types of wands and formulas out there, how do you find the best mascara for you?"

Daily Makeover has put together a "handy guide to help you get your lushest, longest lashes ever."

Meanwhile, Total Image consultant Ginger Burr addresses the age-old question "how do you make peace with aging gracefully?"

THE FEMULATED:

Halloween femulations, 1978.

 

FEMULATE HER:

Wearing Marc Jacobs.

All Hands

Advice and Tips on Hands

By Paula Gaikowski

One of my favorite sitcoms is Seinfeld. As transgender women, we can all relate to the Seinfeld episode where Jerry’s date cracks open a lobster with somewhat less than feminine hands. Jerry refers to her as having “big meaty paws.”

This kind of talk can be discouraging to us girls. So I have put to together some guidelines on overcoming what Jerry called “man hands.”

The biggest issue is hair. If you are out of the closet and have a supporting spouse you have probably already waxed or shaved your hands and arms. But like many of us, this is not an option for me.

I have always been disgusted by the hair on my hands and arms. Over the last year I have been slowly trimming it back. I use a hair-cutting kit to thin out my arm hair. Running the ¼-inch attachment through your arm hair brings it down to a nice level.

I shave my fingers and parts of my hands and then leave just a bit. I then use a little bit of Sun-In, a product that lightens hair in the summer sun. This will lighten up what’s left. In the winter, you can use a hair dryer with the Sun-In.

Next, if you want be a girl or look like a girl, start acting like one! Take care of those hands. Buy some really good hand cream and keep it at your desk. Wear gloves when doing your manly activities, raking leaves, changing the oil, roofing, etc.

Let’s talk about those nails. I keep my nails a tiny bit long, about a 1/8-inch of white at the tips. When I am on the road for work and planning a day out, I’ll go to any local nail shop.

I usually go in drab the night before my outing and get a French manicure. The French manicure features white tips that are accentuated by a natural looking base.

The nail technicians are typically delighted and fascinated by me. I tell them I am going to a party dressed as a woman and they usually think this is so cool and ask a bunch of questions. Once again, this provides a great opportunity for outreach and education. Never has there been a negative or cold reception. The cost is about $20.00 with a gratuity.

A trick with this manicure to camouflage our larger hands is by having the white tips run a little deeper inward. Normally women have a ½-inch nail tip that is polished white. Instead, we have a ¼-inch of white polish, but it doesn’t extend out past the edge of the finger. This creates the illusion of a longer nail and thus shorter fingers.

I understand that going to a nail salon might not be in the comfort zone of many girls. Another great option that produces fantastic results are Broadway press-on nails. Get the short ones and you will get almost the same effect. I am wearing them in this picture.  The only place I can find the press-on nails is at CVS stores. I wait until there is a two-for-one sale and stock up.

(Stana’s Note: In my neck of the woods, Rite Aid, Stop & Shop, and Walgreen also carry press-on nails, usually the Kiss brand.)

Finally, we send gender clues by the way we move, hold and gesture with our hands. I have seen beautiful transgender women who use masculine hand gestures that look out of place.

Here is an amazingly simple trick that I saved for last: how to make our hands 30 to 40% smaller.

Place you hands flat on the table in front of you. Then take your thumb and place it between your pinky and ring finger. See the difference? Now, add a faux engagement ring on one hand, a birthstone ring on the other, a gold watch on one wrist and a bracelet on the other; teamed with your manicure and hand care makes a huge difference!

A rule of thumb (pun intended): when observing feminine body language, notice that women tend to make themselves smaller. For example, women hold their arms closer to their bodies and cross their legs. Men hold their arms away from their bodies and keep their legs open. You’ll notice that women keep their hands cupped or have their fingers curled inward while holding their hands idle. Women also tend to keep their hands above their waist.

Another typically feminine hand gesture is self-annunciation. This is when a woman demurely touches her hand to her chest when speaking in the first person. “In my opinion, I really think you need to speak to Karen about this.”

Become an observer of women; find a mentor and notice her movements and gestures. Then practice and don’t be afraid to act feminine. When I first started going out in public, I was hesitant to act feminine, then it dawned on me. “You’re wearing a dress idiot!” Of course I should act feminine.

Observe yourself in front of a mirror as you would when rehearsing lines in play. Learn the part and then it will become natural.

One thing I have noticed about transgender women, the girls who look good work at their femme presentation. I’ve covered some of the things you can do to improve the look of your hands.

Being a pretty girl takes time, dedication and effort. It’s not an impossible dream, you will take small steps that add up and someday you’ll be out in public and receive an unsolicited complement. Then you’ll realize that all these tips were…umm “handy.” Okay, I embarrassed myself with that awful pun.

Happy Femulating, Sisters!

THE FEMULATED:

Male dancers femulating back stage in Broadway on Broadway, 2010.

 

FEMULATE HER:

Wearing Macy’s.

Outreach

I left you yesterday as the snow turned to rain by the time I got to New Haven to do outreach at Southern Connecticut State University on Tuesday.

I always hope that my visit to the university starts on a positive note when I drive into the school's parking lot and get stopped by the security guard manning the entrance to the lot. Using my soft effeminate voice, I explain to the guard I am speaking to a class at 12:25 and the guard usually responds as sweet as he can be, directing me to the area where I can park, while calling me "Miss" the whole time.

The rain was heavy, but I was lucky and found an empty spot in the lot about 20 steps away from the entrance of the building where I was doing outreach. A quick mad dash (in heels) from my car to the entrance left me mostly dry.

I was the first to arrive, but shortly was joined by the professor and other speakers, both male-to-female like me, but full-time female unlike me. One is older and one is younger than me and I have done outreach with them countless times.

There were about 30 students in the class and they listened politely as each of us gave our trans biographies in a nutshell. Then the students asked us questions and before you know it, the period was over and the next class of 30 or so students replaced the first 30 and we did it all over again. The only difference was that in the second class, a student who is male-to-female joined us.

Students in both classes asked how we came up with our female names and asked me specifically about my nails ("If you only dress as a female a few times a month, what do you do about your manicured/painted nails the rest of the time?")

One student asked how sexually active we were in our youth. (One of us was very promiscuous, the others not so much.)

Another student asked how many wigs I own. (I have lost count, but said I have about a half dozen that I consider my "currently active" group of wigs.)

There were a few questions with a similar theme, that is, what we thought of the current state of acceptance of transgenders in society.

There were other questions, but I don't recall them now.

After each class, we make ourselves available in case any student wants to talk with us. I look forward to the one-on-one and it occurred once after each class on Tuesday. After the first class, a female student came up to me and complimented me on my nails and my appearance in general. After the second class, a female student thanked me for coming to the class to speak.

I decided to drive home immediately after the second class instead of hanging back to read the student's impressions of us. Although it was raining in New Haven, it was likely still snowing in the direction I had to travel. Leaving right after the class permitted me to avoid the rush hour.

I said my goodbyes and when I exited the building, I discovered that the rain was now mixing with snow. (The classroom we were in is in the basement and has no windows, so we were in the dark about the weather.)

Snow was starting to accumulate on the ground in New Haven, but not on the roads and that is what I found all the way home, so traveling was not a problem.

It was another great day out for me and I hope doing outreach opened more eyes about transgenders in a positive way.

(I have told my outreach stories many times in the past and it has become old hat for me, but maybe not for you. If you want me to expand on anything or if you have any specific questions, let me know and I will gladly write more.)

THE FEMULATED:

Comic presenter Graham Norton femulating
on the UK stage in La Cage Aux Folles, 2008.

 

FEMULATE HER:

Wearing Spiegel.

Shopping Spree

Tuesday morning, the weather forecast looked foreboding especially for someone who hates to drive in the snow. I figured my all-wheel-drive Subaru would get me through any white stuff that tried to ruin my day, so I went forward with my plans.

The temperature was supposed to be in the 30s all day long, so I dressed appropriately. I wore a blue Victoria's Secret sweater dress that I bought years ago on clearance, but had never wore because I was not sure it looked good on me.

I don't know why I thought that because when I put it on Tuesday morning, I thought it looked fine. Maybe losing weight since I bought that dress made a difference. Along with the dress, I wore my unmentionables, nude hosiery, black booties, silver jewelry, black bag, fake lynx fur coat and the short auburn wig I wore last time out.

I was out the door at 9:45 AM; it was snowing lightly with no accumulation on the ground. I drove to Tonkin's Wigs in Waterbury and arrived just before owner Kathy Tonkin opened the shop.

Kathy has always done me right and I trust her to find the perfect wig for me. She asked if I had anything in mind.

I replied that I liked the auburn wig I was wearing, but wanted something longer.

The first wig Kathy found for me was in the ballpark, but not a home run. The second wig was a grand slam. It is a "Kiera" from Tony of Beverly in the color "wineberry" also known as “chestnut red.” The wig is a little bit retro and a little bit mod.

"Kiera is a fashion forward mid-length. The Hollywood wave. A modern interpretation of lush layered curls. The angled bangs are styled smooth for a cool contrast."

I loved it and did not need to try on another wig. Kathy styled it, I paid for it and wore it out the door.

Next stop was Goddess Plus Size Consignment. I had been in the shop twice in boy mode with my wife when she was looking for a new bag. Now I was solo, en femme, also looking for a new bag, but not just any bag --- I wanted a designer bag.

I perused the display case containing the designer bags that the store had for sale. A black bag caught my eye and I asked the saleswoman to take it out of the case so I could examine it.

It was a B. Makowsky satchel for $80 (it cost $250 new). I examined the bag closely and it was brand new. It still had a B. Makowsky advertising booklet inside, as well as a cloth bag to protect it during storage. I decided to buy it.

Then, I perused the clothing racks and found two dresses that I liked. I took them to a dressing room to try them on.

The first dress I tried on was a New York & Company sleeveless zebra print with ruched sides along the skirt and ties to tighten or loosen the ruched sides, which in effect, shortens or lengthens the hem. It fit perfectly and looked ok in the dressing room mirror, but I wanted to look at the dress in the semi-circle of mirrors that the store had outside the dressing stalls.

I stepped out of the stall, walked to the semi-circled and twirled slowly to see the dress at all angles. The saleswoman thought it looked great on me and I agreed. And it only cost $6!

The second dress was a Dress Barn black sequins sleeveless cocktail dress with a $39 price tag. It also fit well and looked good in the dressing room mirror, but I wanted to see it in the semi-circle of mirrors, too.

As I twirled slowly in the semi-circle, the store owner said my arms looked perfect in the dress. No one had ever praised my arms before! Then she added that my legs were perfect, too.

I bought both dresses and the bag and was very pleased with my shopping experience.

I have no idea if the folks at Goddess knew I was trans, but the store has a reputation of being supportive of the trans community and the staff treated me like a lady. The store has a wide range of clothing in plus sizes, as well as shoes, bags, jewelry and other accessories.

I highly recommend visiting Goddess if you are in the Waterbury area. And while you are in the Waterbury area, I also highly recommend Tonkin's Wigs --- Kathy Tonkin has a great eye for knowing which wigs and colors look best on you and like I said earlier, she has never done me wrong.

The snow was now falling more heavily and accumulating on the ground, but not the road, so I continued on to Southern Connecticut State University in New Haven to do outreach. About half way to New Haven, the snow transitioned to rain and all was right with the world as far as I was concerned.

THE FEMULATED:

Comedians Tim Conway and Flip Wilson femulating on television’s
The Flip Wilson Show, 1972.

FEMULATE HER:

Wearing Smythe (jacket) and Madewell (dress).

The Return of the Elusive Leopard

This girl needs a nice pair of beige pumps. So I visited Nine West to see what they had for sale in beige in my size.

I liked their “Flute” (above left), which is a “peep toe pump with all leather upper. 4 1/2" heel and 3/4" platform.” They had it in my size (12) and I ordered a pair.

While I was on the website, just for the heck of it, I checked out their “Fortonight” (above right), which the last few hundred times I checked, was sold out in my size.

They must have restocked because the “round toe pump with 4 1/2" heel and 1" platform” was now available in my size!!! I could not order a pair fast enough.

Both pairs were on sale, too.

I hope they fit. Nine West size 12s always have fit me in the past, so there is an excellent chance these will too.

UPDATE: They arrived today and are a perfect fit!

THE FEMULATED:

Two women circa 1910, one a female (left) and one a male (right).

 

FEMULATE HER:

Wearing Diane von Furstenberg.

Out Tuesday

I will spend Tuesday en femme.

In the morning, I plan to go shopping. First, I have an appointment at my favorite wig store to get a new do. Afterwords, I plan to visit a local consignment shop that specializes in clothing for voluptuous girls.

In the afternoon, I will attend two Human Sexuality classes at Southern Connecticut State University to do outreach.

After outreach, I may get a bite to eat if the weather is cooperative. (Snow and rain showers are in the forecast for Tuesday.)