Fifth

My Build a Better Bunny Costume was the 5th favorite costume in the Halloween Costume Challenge at Independent Fashion Bloggers (IFB). Thirty people in all participated in the challenge; I believe that 29 were genetic women.

THE FEMULATED:

Akihiro Miwa 

FEMULATE HER:

Wearing Wyatt

Friday Femulations

from Smashing the Binary

Bopping around the Internet this afternoon, I came upon a couple of websites that femulators and gendernauts like you and me might find interesting. (I certainly did!)

* Smashing the Binary

* Van Burnham

By the way, a few of you have mentioned that McAfee SiteAdvisor considers Femulate to be risky. (I would have preferred "frisky," but what can you do.)

So after snooping around trying to figure out what was wrong, I determined that McAfee considers that some of the links listed on the right side of the blog are "risky" because McAfee has not tested them. It assumes the worst, i.e., there is the possibility of a risk even though there may not be any risk at all!

McAfee stands alone on this. I used a variety of other tools to test the website and Femulate received a clean bill of health from every one.

So go figure,

Another Halloween Femulator

Halloween was a week ago. You already read about my Halloween day at work en femme here. Now you can read about Patio Plasma's Halloween en femme.

I planned to go into work on Halloween day 2012 not just femulating, but femulating a woman dressing up for Halloween, I wore a work appropriate costume. Last year I had come as a blonde, high school, assistant principal in a tan skirt suit, very scary. This year I was coming as a goth/scientist inspired by Abby from the TV program NCIS. 

The weekend before Halloween, I gathered all my clothes and wore them making sure that all the accessories fit together, I made some adjustments and after a few hours of experimentation was happy with my look. I shaved my body as I do at least weekly. I then had my nails done in a local salon where my usual nail ladies loved my choice of a dark red (OPI Lincoln Park After Dark) topped by an even darker layer with tiny red sparkles( China Glaze Lubu Heels). They took their time and did a great job.

On Halloween day I got up early, layered on my black foundation garments, breast forms, black Flexees firm control full slip #2364), Wet Seal black lace long sleeve T, black shiny tights, black Calvin Klein dress, black boots with 3” heels, silvery metal belt, dangly earrings, (its distracting to see long dangly earrings swing into view every time you move your head) a black velvet choker and dragon pendant, bracelets, and  rings. Then went to work appplying my makeup.

The darker goth makeup took me longer than usual to put on since I wanted it to look just right. I started with complete MAC fluid foundation. I made dark smoky eyes with dark liner under and over, added dark eye shadow, and false eyelashes. I always shape my brows into a unisex style but with brow powder I can accentuate their female shape. On my lips I used MAC viva glam 1 red under MAC Dark Side. The combined lipsticks gave me true dark goth lips with a hint of red. I put on a black wig, which was shocking for me to see, since I almost always choose to be blonde. 

I’ve been femulating and making myself up every Sunday for a few years going to dinner with friends so my makeup skills are OK but the whole transformation took just under 1.5 hours. I grabbed my black purse, and a larger bag with a pair of flats , just-in-case, plus my work briefcase and drove off to work.

As I walked into the office my co-director, who knows that I femulate on occasion, was obviously pleased to see me. She said that I had chosen a great look. She noted that we wore the same size 14 dress, but that she was size 14 from top to bottom whereas I only needed size 14 for my shoulders and guessed I could get away with a size 8 waist, I corrected her that my waist needed size 10, and we laughed together. She also wanted to duplicate my nails herself. So I gave her my nail polishes so she could do that. What a great start to the day. 

During the day I had great conversations at work.  I was quickly asked did you do your nails? I confessed that in dark colors I go to a professional. Then I was asked if I did my makeup, and I confessed that I did.

During the day I visited the director of HR and she loved my look, we had a great chat. During the day three women mentioned they had dresses just like mine, one said I should wear black more often, one said I looked better as a woman Men and women commented on my 3-inch heels which I wore all day, one guy commented that I looked skilled in the heels. I said “thanks”.

At one point I visited two women who are always stylishly dressed. They loved my dress and encouraged me to wear black more often and to be more stylish all the time (even when not femulating) They then hustled me out for a photo as a threesome of “Women in Black”. 

In the photo I noted that the 3-inch heels plus my 6-foot height make me a tall woman. They also complimented my jewelry and told me the history of each piece. At one point the Executive director saw me, gave me a big smile and a thumbs-up. I received no negative comments all day long.

After work I went to a Halloween party presented by my publisher. The receptionist was awestruck and took my photo. There was another femulator there who was dressed in white as a June Cleaver housewife, looking great. The crew had us stand side by side, black and white for a photo. After the photo we had a good chat. I received an extremely positive reaction from everyone at the party.

It was a fine day for femulation.

Voted

Two words: Barack Obama!!!

Passing vs. Presentable

Blogger’s Note: I am so busy with the election today that I do not have time to post anything new, so I am rerunning the following post from November 2008. Since it is four years old, you may have missed it the first time and despite that I think that the words are still applicable today.

---

“Passing, in regard to gender identity, refers to a person's ability to be accepted or regarded as a member of the sex or gender with which they identify, or with which they physically present.” (from Wikipedia)

I like to think that I pass. Just today, I received an e-mail from a dear friend who wrote, "You pass so well."

But who am I kidding?

I am six feet, two inches tall (or a more dainty five feet, 14 inches tall) and I always wear heels of some height when I am out en femme (OEF). There are not too many women out there who are six-feet-two. (I list the famous ones here.) So, when I am OEF, my height is my biggest giveaway.

I can hear some of you saying to yourself, "Well, Girl, don't wear heels, then you will be shorter."

My response to that is even without heels, my height is still my biggest giveaway and adding three or four inches will not make much difference.

Last Friday at the mall, I passed some of the time.

While I was walking through the mall, I passed a few women walking in the opposite direction, who looked me in the eye and smiled. Of course, I returned the smile. When a woman smiles at another woman, it is a sign of camaraderie, so when a woman smiles at you when you are OEF, it is a good sign that they have accepted you into the club.

On the other hand, I have also passed women in the mall, whose smiles indicate that they have read me as a male. Their smiles (or smirks) indicate that they are mildly amused by my attempt to pass. Go OEF for awhile and you will begin to recognize the difference between smirks and genuine smiles.

At the mall last Friday, there were times when I did not pass.

For example, the saleswoman at Sephora referred to me as "he," then quickly corrected herself and referred to me as "she." I was not offended. When you are up close in another person's face, as when you are dealing with a salesperson, it is more difficult to pass because they are concentrating on you and therefore, are more likely to pick up telltale signs that you are male.

I have gone OEF enough to resign myself to the fact that sometimes I pass and sometimes I do not pass. There is not much I can do about my ability to pass because I believe I have pushed the envelope about as far as I can to emulate a woman without undergoing surgery.

Admittedly, my ultimate goal is to be passable, but since that is not always possible, I always try to make myself look presentable. If I present as the best woman I can be, then I will be less likely to attract attention and will blend in with the real women out there.

On the other hand, if I go to the mall wearing my highest heels, shortest skirt, largest breasts, biggest hair, and thickest makeup, I am going to attract a lot of attention. Dressed so, more people will check me out and thus increase the chances that people will recognize my birth gender.

So, I try to present myself as a real woman would present herself in a similar situation. Last Friday, I even wore dress slacks instead of a skirt in order to be more presentable and I believe that helped.

While I was at Sephora perched on the makeover seat at the front of the store, I did attract the attention of a lot of passerbys, but none of them gave any indication that they recognized me as a male. All they saw was a woman getting a makeover, so they gave me an interested passing glance and went on their way.

It probably helped that I was seated, so that my height was hidden, but I think more important was the fact that I looked presentable in that situation. I really looked like a woman who had been shopping in the mall and stopped at Sephora for a makeover.

One more thing: if you are presentable, other people are more likely to respect you and treat you like a lady even if they know you are not really a lady. If I dress like a teen queen, I am not going to get much respect, but if I dress like a middle-aged woman (with impeccable taste, by the way), I have found that I get respect because I am trying to be a female clone, not a clown.

So, the bottom line is that, of course, you want to be passable, but before you can be passable, you must be presentable. And once you hone your presentation, you may or may not pass, but at least you know you did your best come what may.

Vote

Two words: Vote Today!

Going Forward

Going forward, I have two outings en femme wrapped around Thanksgiving.

On Saturday, November 17, I will attend One Big Event, a benefit for the Hartford Gay & Lesbian Health Collective. I have attended One Big Event twice in the past and since it is a formal affair, it gives me an opportunity to dress to the nines again.

On Tuesday, November 27, I will do outreach at two Human Sexuality classes at Southern Connecticut State University. I have lost count how many times I have done outreach at this venue, but it is always a good day and I look forward to it.

Wednesday On My Mind

I am still thinking about my wonderful day at work en femme on Wednesday. Some of my co-workers were still talking about it on Friday and I had some requests to share my photos. I gladly shared my photos with my co-workers and I am also sharing another photo with you here today.

One thing I did not mention is that early on Wednesday, I ran one of my thigh highs. I noticed the run when I sat down in my cublicle that morning. It started at the elastic and ran down half way down my calf. I probably started the run when I was getting dressed hurriedly in my closet at home.

I did not have any nail polish with me to stop the run from running, but it seemed to stabilize and did not get any worse as the day progressed.

 I only mention it because the first time I dressed at work en femme, I also ran my hose and was so concerned that I went out during my lunch hour to buy a new pair of pantyhose.

This time, it did not concern me and I did not let it ruin my day. But next time, I will carry extra hosiery in my bag.

Friday Femulations

Yesterday, my co-workers were still abuzz about my appearance en femme on Halloween Wednesday.

I received a few more compliments including one from the fellow who on Wednesday said I missed my calling and should have been a female impersonator. On Thursday, he said, "I prefer how you looked on Wednesday!"

I said, "I do, too."

***

One of the many comments I received on yesterday's post came as a complete surprise. It was from Peter Lappin, who writes Male Pattern Boldness blog.

I have been reading Peter's blog for years and even wrote about it here, but I had no idea he read Femulate!

If you have not read Peter's blog, I highly recommend doing so because I think you will enjoy it.

***

Speaking of Femulate readers, actor and femulator par excellence Christopher Morley had some kind words to say about Femulate here on Facebook.

If you have not visited Christopher's Facebook page, please do; it is full of photos and video clips from his acting career.

***

The World Health Organization still lists transsexualism as a mental disorder. Former Miss Universe contestant Jenna Talackova is fighting back.

Please read all about here and sign her petition.

***

A few days ago, I added a gadget to the blog which lists the most popular posts for the past month. The gadget is located at the very bottom center of Femulate.  hope you find it useful.

And if you have any other suggestions for this blog, please send them to me (stana-stana at sbcglobal.net).

Woman at Work: What’s Normal?

I was relieved that power was restored Tuesday night and I spent the evening getting things back in order. (It's amazing how quickly things get out of order when you lose electricity.)

It was bedtime when I finished and as I lay in bed, I realized that the next day was Halloween (and what was I going to do about it).

I had assumed that we would be without power for days. As a result, I did not prepare anything in advance for dressing up Halloween morning. But I wondered if I could I do it all in the morning and be out the door in time for work?

Considering everything I had to do, I determined that I could do it all if I got up early enough. I set my alarm clock for 4:30 AM and I beat the clock waking at 4:15.

It had not occurred to me that making up every morning for a week at Fantasia Fair had accelerated my makeup routine. As a result, I was ready to go almost 30 minutes before I had to hoped for.

My wig was "Stacie" by Noriko, "a flirty hairstyle that has a wispy layered cut with flipped ends and swoop bangs." My dress was the Ponte Heart Print Dress from Julian Taylor (via ideeli.com). Shoes were my old reliable black patent sling-back open-toe platforms; they are beginning to show their age, so it is time to find a new "old reliable." "City beige" thigh-highs, black watch and bag and silver necklace and earrings completed my outfit.

To kill time, I styled my wig, then I decided to leave even though it was too early. It was raining hard and still dark, so I thought I could use the extra time to drive slower and safer.

When I arrived at work, there were two cars in the parking lot. I knew they belonged to co-workers who worked on the east side of our complex. That meant I would be the first person on the west side (first person turns on the lights and makes the first pot of coffee).

I did not have to run far (in heels) to dodge the rain because I was able to park in the closest spot to the entrance.

After I dropped my computer bag and purse in my cubicle, I used the ladies' room to check my makeup, then I took a deep breath to face the day.

The kitchen is next to the restrooms, so I decided to start a pot of coffee first, then turn on the lights. Coffee brewing, I left the kitchen and the lights turned on; somebody beat me to it.

That somebody came around the corner, saw me, and greeted me as one would greet a stranger.

I said, "Happy Halloween," but he was still clueless and continued on to his office.

As other people filed in, I greeted them and most figured out who I was because I was in or near my cubicle and my reputation proceeded me. Nonetheless, they were amazed at my appearance.

By the way, I went all out. I did not hold back in order to cling to any shred of my male self. I was certainly not a "man in a dress."

When my boss arrived, I made a bee-line to her cubicle, saying "Happy Halloween" as I entered.

I took about a half minute before she recognized me and she was ecstatic. She checked me out and gushed over my appearance.

"He shaved his legs."

"He even did his nails."

"I hate him --- he looks better than me."

"I want your dress when you are done with it."

She took my photo and e-mailed it to some of our colleagues in our other facility. Throughout the morning, she brought people to my cubicle to show me off.

I never saw her act like this before. She was enjoying my femulation as much as I was.

My boss also suggested I play a trick on our president's administrative assistant, so when she showed up, I went into her office and said, "I am the new receptionist and you are supposed to train me."

She was completely fooled. She said that no one had informed her of my training, but she was ready to have at it.

Before it went any farther, I asked, "Do you know who I am?"

She shook her head "no," so I confessed and she was absolutely floored! She confessed that she really had no idea who I was nor that I was a male.

Returning to my cubicle, I heard the voice of a female co-worker who I have known for 16 years, so I paid her a visit.

"Happy Halloween," I said as she looked up without any sign of recognition, then she recognized me. After she stopped gushing over me, she said that when she first saw me, she thought I was a former co-worker woman. She said the resemblance was striking.

At 10 AM, I had to attend a meeting (a "gemba") concerning a new product. I walked into the middle of ten engineers standing in a circular fashion for the gemba, said "Happy Halloween" and they all smiled and took my appearance in stride except one engineer, who was shocked. A couple of the guys admitted afterword that until they heard my voice, they had no idea who I was.

Another friend asked if he could take my photo sitting in his cubicle. I gladly agreed, he took it with his smart phone, and sent it to his wife claiming I was his new administrator.

After his wife learned the truth, she replied, "“OMG!!!!!!! That is soooooo funny! He looks really good as a woman. I don't want her sitting in your cubicle.“

Five co-workers took my photo throughout the day and graciously e-mailed me copies.

One co-worker said he was "speechless," then added, "You missed your calling... you should have been a female impersonator."

During lunch, I drove to the nearby Lowe's home improvement store to get a replacement part for a piece of plumbing that failed after the storm. I had no trepidation about going to Lowe's and I found my trip very revealing.

Whenever I go to Lowe's or Home Depot in male mode, I have to find and ask a store employee when I need help. Today, I had a male Lowe's employee practically at my beck and call. When he saw me looking lost in the plumbing department, he asked what I needed and directed me to the exact location where the part was displayed. After I found what I needed, he came over and compared it to the old part I had brought along to make sure I got the right part.

That's the power of a short skirt and high heels!    

Speaking of high heels, I wore them all day long (over 9 hours) and my feet felt fine. I guess sitting about two-thirds of the day helped. I did bring flats just in case, but I only put them on when I drove home.

After Lowe's, I visited Walmart to buy some pet food and coffee. I noticed a few gents checking me out, otherwise, the Walmart trip was uneventful.

I also stopped at Dress Barn and bought nothing after perusing the racks.

I returned to work, ate lunch and felt tired; the 4:15 AM wakeup was beginning to take its toll.

I visited the two women in Human Resources who know about my transgender. The HR woman, who is approximately my age, was enthusiastic and said I looked "great," while the 30-something HR woman acted as if nothing was unusual and said nothing about my appearance.

Another female co-worker I have forever stopped by my cubicle in the afternoon and said I looked "sparkling." She also commented that I looked better than she ever did even when she went to the prom. She wondered if anyone at work had busted "my chops" and I happily admitted that no one had.

Except for folks stopping by to look and/or take photos, the afternoon was quieter than the morning.

Overall, I had a great day at work en femme. Not a discouraging word was heard; instead, I received a lot of compliments.

This was my third Halloween at work en femme. The first two times were in 2000 and 2003. About one-third of my co-workers were with the company back then, so they are aware of my preference for women's wear on Halloween.

I assume a few co-workers suspect that there is more to it than Halloween, but no one has broached the topic with me. If they did, I would tell them the truth.   

Thursday morning, my boss saw me and remarked, "Thank, God, you're dressed normal today."

I responded, "What's normal?"

Woman at Work

Yesterday (Halloween), I went to work en femme.

Above is a photo of me seated in my cubicle. I will post more words later and maybe another photo or two.

Happy Halloween

Happy Halloween, boys and girls!

Guess what?

I am typing this at work en femme.

You can be sure I will post a full report real soon now.

Got Juice

Electricity returned after 23 hours without. Except for a few small branches on the ground, there was no damage post-Sandy. I think hiring the tree man last month to cut back all the encroaching trees may have made a difference.

No Juice

If you are reading this, then I lost electricity and as a result, Internet service due to the hurricane. See you later!

Halloween High School

Holdenville (OK) High School, 1988

One hundred eighty (!) new high school yearbook images were Starla's gift to me upon returning from Fantasia Fair. I processed and uploaded the images to flickr for you to view just in time for Halloween.

I appreciate all the work Starla has done finding and collecting these images and I hope you do, too.

* There are two ways to view the newest additions:

Method 1: Open one of the Yearbooks sets (A through Z) and you will find the newest uploads at the end/bottom of the set. (The oldest uploads appear at the beginning/top of the set.)

Method 2: Open my photostream and you will find the newest uploads at the top of page 1. The uploads get older as the page numbers get higher with the oldest uploads on the last page.

By the way, the contents of the Yearbook A through Z sets are organized according to school name, for example, the photos from Hard Knox High School would be in the Yearbooks H set.

Build a Better Bunny Costume

I was different from the other boys in my neighborhood; I wanted to be a Playboy bunny when I grew up. Didn't happen, but I could be a Playboy bunny on Halloween.

Occasionally, authentic Playboy bunny costumes show up for sale, but they are very expensive and never available in size 18 Tall.

The "Playboy bunny" costumes sold at the Halloween stores (online and on the street) sort of resemble real Playboy costume, but none are authentic enough for me and again, size is an issue.

I am a do-it-yourself kind of girl. so I decided that if I wanted authenticity, I would have to build my own Playboy bunny costume.

Here are the parts I acquired to assemble the Playboy bunny costume I am wearing in the accompanying photo.

Black maillot swimsuit --- I lucked out and found a black sequins maillot-style swimsuit on clearance at  Newport News. Sequins is not a necessity, but nice if you can find it.

Black patent high heel pumps --- I already had a pair; you probably do, too. If not, here is a pair from Zappo's that fits the bill.

Fishnet pantyhose --- I am tall and I could not find fishnet pantyhose in my size in the local stores, but I found these online from Hue that are available in sizes that will fit everyone.

Corset or waist-cincher --- I used a corset-style waist cincher (like this model from Frederick's of Hollywood) to achieve a wasp-like figure.

Bunny ears, tail, collar, bow tie and cuffs --- Halloween stores stock the ears, cuffs, collar, bow tie and tail needed to complete the costume. This ears, cuffs, collar, bow tie set from Amazon is authentic, as is this tail.

Rosette name badge --- I found a rosette badge at a party store. To add my own name to the badge, I printed my name in white text on a black circle, then glued it to the badge.

By the way, I am submitting this post to the Halloween costume challenge at IFB.

Sunday Dinner with a Twist

Three’s a Charm

Kathleen at Fantasia Fair

For a different take on the Fantasia Fair experience, read Kathleen's recent blog entries concerning the Fair. They begin here and continue here, here and here.

Simon's Halloween

The Cut has a slideshow of Simon Doonan’s best Halloween costumes since 1978. The majority of his costumes are femulations, so it is worth a view. 

My Halloween

I planned to spend the day en femme on Halloween, so ever since I returned home from Provincetown, I have been considering what to wear on the 31st.
But now it seems that Sandy may dash my plans. According to the latest predictions, the storm will likely pass through here by Wednesday, but who knows what it will leave in its wake on Tuesday.

So I will have to wait and see about going to work pretty on Wednesday.

Fantasia Fair Friends

One of the attractions of Fantasia Fair is reuniting with old friends and making new friends. This year I made a point of getting photographs of my friends at the Fair.
Previously, I posted photos of Miqqi Gilbert, the executive director of Fantasia Fair, and Dru Levasseur, the transgender rights attorney at Lamda Legal. Here are photos of my other friends at Fantasia Fair (by the way, I asked and received permission to post these photos).
Alison Liang --- My next door neighbor at my B&B, Alison has been active in the Fantasia Fair organization since way way back when.
Angela Stevens - A UK girl, who now makes her home in Geneva, I met Angela at the Tuesday night banquet at Fantasia Fair.
Barbara Curry - One of my long-time friends in the trans world, Barb is a Connecticut girl and serves as treasurer and evening event director for Fantasia Fair.
Dianne - An international businesswoman, I met Dianne at Fantasia Fair in 2010 and reunited with her this year.
Jamie Dailey - A Connecticut girl, who I have known for many years, Jamie is also the media maven of Fantasia Fair.
Jan Brown - A New York girl, Jan is program director for Fantasia Fair. This photo captured Jan immediately after her makeover by Scarlett Thompson last week.
Marian - A regular Femulate reader and frequent commenter, I met this New York City gal for the first time at Fantasia Fair this year.
Melissa Cross - Hailing from Connecticut, Melissa is a ham radio sister, who I had the pleasure of hanging with during Fantasia Fair.
Cossette - This link will display a photo of me with my friend Cossette, who I met at Fantasia Fair in 2010.