Friday, October 12, 2012

Bringing Bling

2012-10-12_packing-jewelry

With my packing list in hand, I will begin packing for Fantasia Fair this evening.

Most of the packing is easy --- just pack exactly what I have on my list.

Jewelry is more difficult. Let me explain why.

My packing list indicates that I should pack a silver necklace, earrings, and bracelet to go with a particular outfit, but does not specify which silver necklace, earrings, and bracelet. I usually don't remember what jewelry worked with an outfit I wore before and if it is a new outfit, I am not sure what jewelry will work with it.

To complicate matters, I have a lot of jewelry.

As an Avon representative, I can buy with a discount and over the years, I have amassed a lot of Avon jewelry. Also, I bought a lot of Napier jewelry at a big discount when the Napier factory closed here.

Funny story. When they were having their close-out sale, I was visiting the Napier factory store a couple of times a week during lunch hour. The sales staff got to know me and helped me match earrings with bracelets with necklaces, etc.

After one shopping spree, a sales woman commented that my wife was a lucky girl because I was buying so much jewelry for her. Although I did buy some items for my wife, most of it was for me!

So tonight, I will wade through all my jewelry and pick out items to pack.

And here's a tip: I store my jewelry in clear plastic boxes intended for storing fishing lures. They are inexpensive (Walmart sells them in a variety of sizes) and they permit you to instantly see their contents. And if you fill one up, just buy another. (I own 12.)

By the way, I use a huge fishing tackle box to store and transport my makeup. (My parents' hobby was fishing, so I attribute my storage skills to their avocation.)

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Let's Meet Up


I may have mentioned that I will be attending Fantasia Fair next week.

My plan is to arrive in Provincetown mid-afternoon Sunday and exit P-Town early Saturday morning. In between, I will attend all the main events and various workshops that interest me.

If you are also attending Fantasia Fair, I hope we will meet up.

You probably know what I look like, but unless we met before, I don't know what you look like, so don't be shy --- please say "Hello" --- I would love to meet you!

See you soon!

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

More Short Notes on a Busy Week

scc2012_2

TJ informed me that photos (like the ones above and below) from the 2012 Southern Comfort Conference (SCC) are now available for viewing here on flickr. The set includes 1301 photos and 13 videos!

Meanwhile, in the When It Rains, It Pours Department, I just received an invitation to attend a "Masquerade Ball" in Hartford on October 19. The only problem is that I will be at Fantasia Fair in Provincetown the night of the ball!
scc2012_1

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Short Notes on a Busy Week

135364301
This will be a busy week as I get ready for next week at Fantasia Fair in Provincetown. In addition to preparations for the trip, I have four work-related projects that I must complete by Thursday, so I will be a very busy girl until then.

Besides planning to have a good time in Provincetown, I also have set another goal. I plan to use a female voice for the entire week. Instead of just trying to get by with my natural soft-spoken voice, I will adjust it a bit to sound more like the woman I am.

As a result of my decision not to go to Atlanta last month, I missed the board meeting of my ham radio group. Since I am secretary of the group, someone volunteered to record the minutes of that board meeting in my absence. That volunteer published the minutes a few days ago and referred to me as "Ms. My-Surname." That was the first time anyone ever referred to me by my surname prefixed with a feminine title and it felt wonderful!

Monday, October 8, 2012

Best Brows for You

keiraknightley

Grocery shopping on Saturday, I inevitably conclude the experience eyeing the periodicals displayed for sale on the check-out line.

As I unloaded my shopping cart, I noticed the October issue of Vogue with the lovely Keira Knightley staring back at me with her most amazing eyebrows!

We are hardly separated at birth, but I liked her brows so much that I shaped mine to match hers.

Last week, Daily Makeover tackled the subject of the best eyebrows for your face shape, so see for yourself if your eyebrows should match Ms. Knightley's or some other glamorous film star.

Friday, October 5, 2012

Next Year's Makeover

2012-10-05_hera 

At Fantasia Fair in 2010, I attended a workshop titled "Essence of Style: Image Consulting" by Hera Navassardian.

Hera Navassardian has been in the fashion and beauty industry for more than thirty years. Her career began in New York City as a model for Bob Mackie and other designers like him. She has since worked in many similar industries, including consulting and demonstrating the finer techniques of skincare, make-up and fashion at high-end establishments including Bergdorf Goodman, SAKS Fifth Avenue, Bloomingdales and CHANEL. Hera's love and passion for beauty and fashion has led her to open her own boutique and transformation studio, Klymaxx Unlimited in downtown Provincetown. Klymaxx offers a wide variety of services including make-up. (from The Fantasia Fair Participant's Guide)

The workshop took place in Hera's studio where she had all her tools at her disposal. There I witnessed her perform an amazing transformation on one of the girls attending the workshop.

I wished it was me.

Since my half-week at Fantasia Fair in 2010 had only one day to go, I did not bother scheduling a makeover later in the week. But wait 'til next year.

Two next years later, I made a appointment with Hera for a makeover for Fantasia Fair Tuesday afternoon preceding that evening's banquet.

When I spoke with Hera on the phone to make the appointment, she said she remembered me. I do recall asking a lot of questions and putting in my two-cents' worth during the workshop, so maybe she did remember me or maybe she was just being nice.

Either way, I look forward to going under Hera's makeup brushes.

It should be fun!

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Primping in the Boys’ Room

Nowata-HS-(OK)-1994

Starla turned up 72 new high school femulation images for the Yearbook Femulations collection and I uploaded the images to flickr this morning.

I found the above image from Nowata High School in Nowata, OK, particularly interesting. Besides their excellent femulations, the “girl” on the left is not wearing a wig, but did her hair up in a female coiffure, while the “girl” on the right is actually a teacher at the school, not as student (if I am interpreting the caption correctly).  

There are two ways to view the newest additions:

Method 1: Open one of the Yearbooks sets (A through Z) and you will find the newest uploads at the end/bottom of the set. (The oldest uploads appear at the beginning/top of the set.)

Method 2: Open my photostream and you will find the newest uploads at the top of page 1. The uploads get older as the page numbers get higher with the oldest uploads on the last page.

By the way, the contents of the Yearbook A through Z sets are organized according to school name, for example, the photos from Hard Knox High School would be in the Yearbooks H set.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Houston, We’ve Got a Problem

Guest Post by Paula Gaikowski

2012-10-03-paula-houston

The 4 AM air was a cool 45 degrees and the New England sky was filled with the scent of autumn. Normally, I’d hate to leave home during this special time of year, but I was going to Houston on business for six days and would be spending my nights as a woman.

I arrived to a hot and humid summer day, the type of day that has New England newscasters issuing heat advisories except here in Houston, it was business as usual. I arrived in my room at the SpringHill Suites just before noon. Now that summer was over back home, the first thing I did was shave my legs. What a relief it was to get rid of all that ugly disgusting hair. After adding a coat of pink nail polish, I was literally a new woman!

I decided on my blue Jones New York suit since it is the coolest one I own. By 1:30, I was down in the lobby getting a bottle of water and chatting with the desk clerk. It took her about a minute of chatting with me before I could see that realization in her eyes that something was amiss, (like I wasn’t really a Miss). I’m finding that I pass up until I speak for an extended period of time.

After getting directions, to the Galleria, I said to her politely “I always like to get an opinion before I go out, how do I look?”

Her eyes lit up and she smiled, “You look great, I love your suit and your makeup looks amazing.”

“Thank you”, I answered her. “I appreciate the opinion; I like to know if I’m put together all right before venturing out into the world.”

By now she had started to relax and opened up a little. She leaned forward and said, “I think you look great, and it’s great that you’re not afraid to express yourself.” Then she added I’m bisexual and I think it’s great what you’re doing.”

Be honest, open and confident and astonishing things can happen. Michelle and I became friends and throughout the week, when I would come and go she and I would chat.

My first stop that Monday was the Houston Galleria and Nordstrom. I couldn’t resist looking over the evening gowns for First Event this January. When I saw this beautiful blue dress, the sales associate asked if I’d like to try it on. I couldn’t say no. It was probably the prettiest dress I ever tried on, but at $198, I had to pass.

Next, I stopped at the M·A·C store and bought some powder for highlighting and chatted with the makeup artist about contouring. I spent the rest of the afternoon shopping and finished up with dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. They have an awesome diet menu with all dishes under 590 calories and I wound up eating there for 5 nights.

This produced an added benefit because after awhile, I got to know the hostesses and staff and enjoyed great conversations about the food, fashion, shopping and it was also nice to receive complements on my outfits. The more time I spent as a woman, the more natural it became. By the third night, I was no longer dressing as a woman and going out. I was just living my life as woman.

Over the course of the week, I did so many things en femme. I bought a cute pantsuit at Burlington Coat Factory, bought a phone charger at Best Buy, grocery shopped, tried on boots at Avenue, tried on wigs, and pumped gas. I interacted with dozens of people and was treated like anyone else; I looked for signs of disapproval or dissatisfaction, but found none. I just went about my business as a woman and began to feel more and more female.

One night I was driving by a strip mall and I saw a huge wig shop. When I entered the shop, it was empty. I said hello to the female sales associate and started to search the huge selections of wigs. She came by and offered to help and we both started picking and choosing wigs. We were both having fun.

The exciting part was when I sat down to try on the wigs and pulled off my own wig, she then realized that I was transgender.

“Oh, my lord! Oh, my lord!” she exclaimed in a southern accent. A bit shaken myself, I apologized for startling her.

“I had no idea! No idea!” We both had a good laugh and I was able to do some outreach on behalf of the transgender community.

The other interesting event occurred when I was leaving the Galleria one night. I was standing at the entrance to the parking garage looking for the car keys in my purse. From behind me I hear a woman ask loudly, “How tall are you?”

Hmm? I think to myself that’s a strange question to ask, even a bit rude. I turned smiled and responded, “I’m 6 foot,” and then added, “How tall are you?”

She shyly responded, “5 foot 8”.

I kept smiling and said, “I got you beat!” At that point my voice and something else must have gave me away because I saw that bewildered look on her face as she walked away. In the past such an interaction would have bothered me, but now I find it amusing.

The last night in Houston, I stopped by M·A·C and went in asking for help with my eyebrows. Once you get into that makeup chair, there is no hiding the fact that you’re transgender. So after Allie gave me a great lesson on shaping my eyebrows, I asked her if she had many other transgender clients.

Her answer, “Oh, we get a few each week.”

I asked her about my presentation and what she thought. She was complementary, but also helpful. Then she asked me “How far along are you in your transition?”

The question hit with a jolt. I thought to myself, “Transition; am I transitioning? Do I give that impression?”

I smiled back at her and said, “I’m just starting.”

I then mused to myself, “Yes, I’m just starting.”

It was a slow night and near closing time, so we chatted, as two women would. She told me about her work, school and plans to marry when her fiancé returned from Afghanistan. Then she asked me, “What are your plans are for the future?”

Well to quote the lady in the wig shop “Oh, my lord! Oh, my lord!” I didn’t see that coming and what poured forth was more of a dream than a plan of my future life as woman. I’m too embarrassed to share it here because it was a bit personal, but it all came pouring out late one evening to a trendy makeup artist at the Houston Galleria.

Was this a crossing the Rubicon moment? After five nights living as a woman, and having it feel so natural, I was resistant to let it go. I had started building relationships and lived my life ever so slightly as female. I was hesitant to leave it behind. The idea caused me angst.

Being away from the role and responsibility of my male life, I could now see myself building a life and being happy as a woman. Many of my crossdresser friends tell me that they would miss their male side. That they enjoy being a man and living in that role. I can truly say that’s not the case with me. I just know it and always have. As the plane taxied down the runway and lifted off, I was sad that the week was over and Paula would have go back into hiding. I looked down on the skyscrapers and highways and the mass of humanity in the city below, “Houston, we’ve got a problem!”

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Six Feet Two, Eyes of Blue

robyn_lawley

It has been a long while since I added anybody to the Famous Females of Height List, so let me reiterate the purpose of the list.

I am over six feet tall, so when I femulate, I am a tall woman.

About the time I started femulating in my early teens, I became interested in tall women because they affirmed my existence as a tall woman, i.e., I was not the only tall woman out and about in society. Few were as tall as me, but maybe there were enough out there so that I could blend in more easily as just another tall woman.

In the past, tall women tried to blend in with their shorter sisters, so they dressed down (pun intended); instead of celebrating their height, they tried to hide it (to appear less intimidating to men).

Also, tall women did not have a lot to choose from clothes-wise. Few clothiers catered to tall women, so tall women had to make do with what was available, which typically did not celebrate tall women's height.

Today, tall women are out and proud and celebrate their height. They have more clothing to choose from now that more clothiers recognize their potential as customers. They no longer dress down to hide their height. They wear high heels and leg baring skirts and dresses. They don't care if they are intimidating. They've come a long way!

It is a great time to be a tall woman, or a tall femulator.

This time, there are two new additions to the list and both women are over six feet tall!

6'1" swimmer Missy Franklin (source: Linda Marie Daniels)

6'2" model Robyn Lawley (see photo; source: Chrisio)

Monday, October 1, 2012

Fantasia Fair Fashionista

127999031 Attending Fantasia Fair requires planning if you are a fashionista.

The first time I attended the Fair, I brought eight pieces of luggage! That's over one piece of luggage for each day of the week long event.

On the other hand, I know a Fan Fair attendee who brought one dress for the whole week.

The second time I attended the Fair, my luggage was lighter because I was attending for a half week versus a full week. Cutting my stay in half would logically make my luggage lighter, but I also packed more intelligently to make my luggage still lighter and that is my plan (in progress) for my week long stay at the Fair in less than two weeks.

My first step is to obtain the Fan Fair schedule and see what is on tap.

In addition to being a fashionista, I am also a computer nerd, so I build an Excel spreadsheet to plan for the week after I get the schedule.

In the first column of the speadsheet, I list each day of the week twice - once for day wear and once for night wear.

In the second column, I list each night activity and in the third column, I categorize how dressy each night event will be. (Will a cocktail dress do or will full glam evening gown be necessary?)

In the fourth column, I list items from the Stana Collection to meet the requirements of each day and night event.

I add four additional columns: one each for shoes, hosiery, jewelry, and handbag to accessorize each outfit.

After I fill in all the blanks, I sort everything to arrive at an initial packing list. Hopefully, there will be some duplication (most likely in accessories).

To the initial list, I add scarves, unmentionables, outerwear, wig, makeup, lighted mirror (to apply makeup), baby wipes (to remove makeup), Nair, nails, shaving stuff, dental stuff, other toiletries and the electronics (camera, cell phone, computer, etc.)

Hopefully, I will not need eight bags to pack everything. Such is the lot of a Fantasia fair fashionista!

Sunday, September 30, 2012

How to Manage Internet Haters

Some of you readers are also bloggers like me and occasionally, you may encounter an "Internet hater" also known as a "troll."

Femulate has had a few, but they are not a problem because I have learned (the hard way) how to handle them.

As its title indicates, "How to Manage Internet Haters" from Independent Fashion Bloggers offers some advice on the matter and is worth reading by my sister bloggers out there.

Saturday, September 29, 2012

A Transgender Child’s Victory


Friday, September 28, 2012

Six Million

About the time this post goes live, this old blog will have had its 6 millionth hit!

Can you believe it? I can't --- I am always amazed at the popularity of Femulate. I must be doing something right because you all keep coming back and I appreciate it.

Thank you for that!

Why I Like Fantasia Fair

Staying at a Bed and Breakfast


The scenic road trip and scenic Provincetown

Fresh seafood

The Atlantic Ocean

Friendly civilians

The Pilgrim Monument, which reminds me of the clock tower in my hometown Waterbury

Seeing old friends

Meeting new friends

Dressing to please no one but myself

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Around the World in a Dress and a Skirt


"Since I am an adult, people should feel free to call me out on my decisions. In this case, if you do, I will confess that I don't particularly like wearing skirts or dresses. I'm like a soccer mom who doesn't love the sport -- but does love her kids. I couldn't care more about my boy being a happy, self-assured, compassionate person. I couldn't care less about the choices he makes on the way to becoming that person -- as long as they cause no harm to himself or others. The ability to make these choices is his birthright -- a right that I should help him to exercise, since I am responsible for his birth," wrote Nils Pickert, the father who wears a skirt to support his son.

Read the rest of his words on The Huffington Post.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

School is a Drag


Starla has been hard at work downloading high school femulations and I uploaded 72 of her newly downloaded images to the Yearbooks collection on flickr this morning.

The highlight of today's additions is the annual Miss Mess competition at the Boise (OK) High School. Be sure to check it out!

There are two ways to view the newest additions:

Method 1: Open one of the Yearbooks sets (A through Z) and you will find the newest uploads at the end/bottom of the set. (The oldest uploads appear at the beginning/top of the set.)

Method 2: Open my photostream and you will find the newest uploads at the top of page 1. The uploads get older as the page numbers get higher with the oldest uploads on the last page.

By the way, the contents of the Yearbook A through Z sets are organized according to school name, for example, the photos from Hard Knox High School would be in the Yearbooks H set.

Monday, September 24, 2012

Atlanta's Womanless Cotillion for Southern "Belles"


Photos from the annual Atlanta Cotillion are showing up on the Internet. So far, the biggest batch of photos (71 in all) from the September 5th womanless event are here.

The event was spectacular and the images are inspiring to girls like us!

(Thank you, Aunty Marlena, for the link to the photos.)

Sunday, September 23, 2012

They're For Me!

Lane Bryant - Atlanta

Today, I am happy to present another guest post by Paula Gaijkowski,

As transgendered people, many of us lead lives filled with guilt, fear and anxiety. One of the areas where this affects us greatly is shopping. Whether you are a closeted crossdresser or an experienced girl out and about on a regular basis, you can still harbor anxiety when looking for a new dress, lingerie or shoes. Even now, after going out on a regular basis in cites all over the U.S., I still sometimes get butterflies in my stomach when walking into a store.

Before you can even consider going out into the world, you will need clothes to wear. There are two ways to shop for clothes: either dressed as a woman (en femme) or as a man (in drab). I’d like to discuss shopping in drab especially for our emerging sisters who want to start building their own wardrobe.

So many girls are embarrassed or fearful about going into a store and buying women’s clothing. Let’s start with a rhetorical question, what you are doing? Answer: You’re buying women’s clothes for yourself. Now that may be atypical, but you certainly aren’t alone. Sales associates I’ve spoken with typically see two to three crossdressers a week. So what is it then that keeps you from asking for that LBD in a size 18?

I was fearful because I had not made peace with the fact that I was transgender. I felt that there was something wrong or bad about me. Deep down I was ashamed. By admitting it to a sale associate, I opened myself up for their disapproval of who I am.

Then it dawned on me. I am 52-years-old. I am hard-working and have a successful career. I am financially successful, I am a dedicated husband and father. I give back to my community and I am active in my church. I strive to be caring, kind, and thoughtful. I don’t drink or abuse drugs. I am honest and trustworthy.

This is a part of my personality that has caused me shame and anxiety for years. There are medical and biological reasons for this. It doesn’t make me an awful person, it means I’m different. I won’t feel bad about myself anymore.

Others have lost their power to judge me. I realized that being transgender is no different than being left-handed. One of the best ways to free yourself from these fears is to confront them head on by doing some shopping. Dress Barn, Lane Bryant and Fashion Bug are great places to start. These stores are TG-friendly and have been frequented by our community for years.

When you’re shopping in drab I recommend that you dress nicely. Wear clean, pressed clothes, be clean-shaven and smile. Don’t show up to try on dresses in dirty work clothes. If I am in drab, I like to wear an almost androgynous look, a black knit top and black or khaki pants. You want to depict a positive image. It helps if the likeness they see is a nice man verses, “This guy looks creepy.”

Young sales associates are familiar with transgender people. They are typically informed and probably have friends who are LGBT. They often are the most enthusiastic and even seem to embrace the diversion we present to them. Smile, be polite and don’t waste their time if you are not going to buy anything.

Remember you are not the first crossdresser in this store; they want your business and want to help you. If you’re worried about being recognized, find a store away from home. Some of the stores that actually have official transgender-friendly policies are MAC Cosmetics, Nordstrom’s, and Macy's. Fashion Bug, Lane Bryant, Dress Barn, and Payless are all known in our community for being helpful. That being said, the worst reaction I ever heard any crossdresser getting from a sales associate was indifference. For example: “You can check over there.”

Here’s an illustration of my most recent trip to a Lane Bryant in New England. I was in drab and had not shopped there before.

Sales Associate, “Hi Good Morning, Can I help you?”

Paula (Smile, I always smile!). “Hi I’m shopping for Capri pants and a top… they’re for me.”

Sales Associate, “Do you know your size?”

She didn’t even hesitate. It went great from there on. I bought a nice pair of white Capri pants and asked if I could try them on and also tried several tops, but didn’t like any of them. The sales associate asked me my name and told me hers and was excitedly throwing tops over the dressing room door for me to try on.

One of the most liberating moments in my life was for the first time uttering those words “they’re for me.” When the words came rolling off my tongue, the world stopped; I could hear the clock ticking and the hum of the air conditioning. I had visions of alarm bells going off and a SWAT team bursting out.

Instead I got a smile of approval from the sales associate and a 1000-pound burden of guilt was lifted off my shoulders. I had given myself permission to be transgender. It was an epiphany. The problem was in my head, once I got over this I was able to move forward with my evolution as a woman.

If you want to grow, the only way is to take that step. You have to make a decision to move forward in your journey. Don’t feel you need to do this; perhaps you are comfortable where you are now. I personally had reached a point in my life where the guilt and anxiety was suffocating me.

Presenting a convincing feminine image takes work, planning, discipline, and dedication. If you do nothing, nothing will change. You will be stuck in that cycle of guilt and regret. If you decide to take that step, you will find that your fears were unfounded. This was my experience and also dozens of other girls I have talked to. We all wonder, “What were we afraid of?”

After some time, you will have stores and sales associates that become your favorite. My girlfriends and I all look forward to visiting our own much loved sales associate or preferred cosmetic counter for the latest arrival. When you walk through the mall next time, take it all in, the beautiful dresses, the trendy outfits, the pretty shoes and the gleaming cosmetic counters. Then ask yourself "Who are they for?"

Now you know the answer: “They’re for me!”