Changes

A New Yorker parody

One Thing Leads to Another

A New Yorker parody

Next Year's Makeover

 

At Fantasia Fair in 2010, I attended a workshop titled "Essence of Style: Image Consulting" by Hera Navassardian.

Hera Navassardian has been in the fashion and beauty industry for more than thirty years. Her career began in New York City as a model for Bob Mackie and other designers like him. She has since worked in many similar industries, including consulting and demonstrating the finer techniques of skincare, make-up and fashion at high-end establishments including Bergdorf Goodman, SAKS Fifth Avenue, Bloomingdales and CHANEL. Hera's love and passion for beauty and fashion has led her to open her own boutique and transformation studio, Klymaxx Unlimited in downtown Provincetown. Klymaxx offers a wide variety of services including make-up. (from The Fantasia Fair Participant's Guide)

The workshop took place in Hera's studio where she had all her tools at her disposal. There I witnessed her perform an amazing transformation on one of the girls attending the workshop.

I wished it was me.

Since my half-week at Fantasia Fair in 2010 had only one day to go, I did not bother scheduling a makeover later in the week. But wait 'til next year.

Two next years later, I made a appointment with Hera for a makeover for Fantasia Fair Tuesday afternoon preceding that evening's banquet.

When I spoke with Hera on the phone to make the appointment, she said she remembered me. I do recall asking a lot of questions and putting in my two-cents' worth during the workshop, so maybe she did remember me or maybe she was just being nice.

Either way, I look forward to going under Hera's makeup brushes.

It should be fun!

Primping in the Boys’ Room

Starla turned up 72 new high school femulation images for the Yearbook Femulations collection and I uploaded the images to flickr this morning.

I found the above image from Nowata High School in Nowata, OK, particularly interesting. Besides their excellent femulations, the “girl” on the left is not wearing a wig, but did her hair up in a female coiffure, while the “girl” on the right is actually a teacher at the school, not as student (if I am interpreting the caption correctly).  

There are two ways to view the newest additions:

Method 1: Open one of the Yearbooks sets (A through Z) and you will find the newest uploads at the end/bottom of the set. (The oldest uploads appear at the beginning/top of the set.)

Method 2: Open my photostream and you will find the newest uploads at the top of page 1. The uploads get older as the page numbers get higher with the oldest uploads on the last page.

By the way, the contents of the Yearbook A through Z sets are organized according to school name, for example, the photos from Hard Knox High School would be in the Yearbooks H set.

Houston, We’ve Got a Problem

Guest Post by Paula Gaikowski

The 4 AM air was a cool 45 degrees and the New England sky was filled with the scent of autumn. Normally, I’d hate to leave home during this special time of year, but I was going to Houston on business for six days and would be spending my nights as a woman.

I arrived to a hot and humid summer day, the type of day that has New England newscasters issuing heat advisories except here in Houston, it was business as usual. I arrived in my room at the SpringHill Suites just before noon. Now that summer was over back home, the first thing I did was shave my legs. What a relief it was to get rid of all that ugly disgusting hair. After adding a coat of pink nail polish, I was literally a new woman!

I decided on my blue Jones New York suit since it is the coolest one I own. By 1:30, I was down in the lobby getting a bottle of water and chatting with the desk clerk. It took her about a minute of chatting with me before I could see that realization in her eyes that something was amiss, (like I wasn’t really a Miss). I’m finding that I pass up until I speak for an extended period of time.

After getting directions, to the Galleria, I said to her politely “I always like to get an opinion before I go out, how do I look?”

Her eyes lit up and she smiled, “You look great, I love your suit and your makeup looks amazing.”

“Thank you”, I answered her. “I appreciate the opinion; I like to know if I’m put together all right before venturing out into the world.”

By now she had started to relax and opened up a little. She leaned forward and said, “I think you look great, and it’s great that you’re not afraid to express yourself.” Then she added I’m bisexual and I think it’s great what you’re doing.”

Be honest, open and confident and astonishing things can happen. Michelle and I became friends and throughout the week, when I would come and go she and I would chat.

My first stop that Monday was the Houston Galleria and Nordstrom. I couldn’t resist looking over the evening gowns for First Event this January. When I saw this beautiful blue dress, the sales associate asked if I’d like to try it on. I couldn’t say no. It was probably the prettiest dress I ever tried on, but at $198, I had to pass.

Next, I stopped at the M·A·C store and bought some powder for highlighting and chatted with the makeup artist about contouring. I spent the rest of the afternoon shopping and finished up with dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. They have an awesome diet menu with all dishes under 590 calories and I wound up eating there for 5 nights.

This produced an added benefit because after awhile, I got to know the hostesses and staff and enjoyed great conversations about the food, fashion, shopping and it was also nice to receive complements on my outfits. The more time I spent as a woman, the more natural it became. By the third night, I was no longer dressing as a woman and going out. I was just living my life as woman.

Over the course of the week, I did so many things en femme. I bought a cute pantsuit at Burlington Coat Factory, bought a phone charger at Best Buy, grocery shopped, tried on boots at Avenue, tried on wigs, and pumped gas. I interacted with dozens of people and was treated like anyone else; I looked for signs of disapproval or dissatisfaction, but found none. I just went about my business as a woman and began to feel more and more female.

One night I was driving by a strip mall and I saw a huge wig shop. When I entered the shop, it was empty. I said hello to the female sales associate and started to search the huge selections of wigs. She came by and offered to help and we both started picking and choosing wigs. We were both having fun.

The exciting part was when I sat down to try on the wigs and pulled off my own wig, she then realized that I was transgender.

“Oh, my lord! Oh, my lord!” she exclaimed in a southern accent. A bit shaken myself, I apologized for startling her.

“I had no idea! No idea!” We both had a good laugh and I was able to do some outreach on behalf of the transgender community.

The other interesting event occurred when I was leaving the Galleria one night. I was standing at the entrance to the parking garage looking for the car keys in my purse. From behind me I hear a woman ask loudly, “How tall are you?”

Hmm? I think to myself that’s a strange question to ask, even a bit rude. I turned smiled and responded, “I’m 6 foot,” and then added, “How tall are you?”

She shyly responded, “5 foot 8”.

I kept smiling and said, “I got you beat!” At that point my voice and something else must have gave me away because I saw that bewildered look on her face as she walked away. In the past such an interaction would have bothered me, but now I find it amusing.

The last night in Houston, I stopped by M·A·C and went in asking for help with my eyebrows. Once you get into that makeup chair, there is no hiding the fact that you’re transgender. So after Allie gave me a great lesson on shaping my eyebrows, I asked her if she had many other transgender clients.

Her answer, “Oh, we get a few each week.”

I asked her about my presentation and what she thought. She was complementary, but also helpful. Then she asked me “How far along are you in your transition?”

The question hit with a jolt. I thought to myself, “Transition; am I transitioning? Do I give that impression?”

I smiled back at her and said, “I’m just starting.”

I then mused to myself, “Yes, I’m just starting.”

It was a slow night and near closing time, so we chatted, as two women would. She told me about her work, school and plans to marry when her fiancé returned from Afghanistan. Then she asked me, “What are your plans are for the future?”

Well to quote the lady in the wig shop “Oh, my lord! Oh, my lord!” I didn’t see that coming and what poured forth was more of a dream than a plan of my future life as woman. I’m too embarrassed to share it here because it was a bit personal, but it all came pouring out late one evening to a trendy makeup artist at the Houston Galleria.

Was this a crossing the Rubicon moment? After five nights living as a woman, and having it feel so natural, I was resistant to let it go. I had started building relationships and lived my life ever so slightly as female. I was hesitant to leave it behind. The idea caused me angst.

Being away from the role and responsibility of my male life, I could now see myself building a life and being happy as a woman. Many of my crossdresser friends tell me that they would miss their male side. That they enjoy being a man and living in that role. I can truly say that’s not the case with me. I just know it and always have. As the plane taxied down the runway and lifted off, I was sad that the week was over and Paula would have go back into hiding. I looked down on the skyscrapers and highways and the mass of humanity in the city below, “Houston, we’ve got a problem!”

Six Feet Two, Eyes of Blue

It has been a long while since I added anybody to the Famous Females of Height List, so let me reiterate the purpose of the list.

I am over six feet tall, so when I femulate, I am a tall woman.

About the time I started femulating in my early teens, I became interested in tall women because they affirmed my existence as a tall woman, i.e., I was not the only tall woman out and about in society. Few were as tall as me, but maybe there were enough out there so that I could blend in more easily as just another tall woman.

In the past, tall women tried to blend in with their shorter sisters, so they dressed down (pun intended); instead of celebrating their height, they tried to hide it (to appear less intimidating to men).

Also, tall women did not have a lot to choose from clothes-wise. Few clothiers catered to tall women, so tall women had to make do with what was available, which typically did not celebrate tall women's height.

Today, tall women are out and proud and celebrate their height. They have more clothing to choose from now that more clothiers recognize their potential as customers. They no longer dress down to hide their height. They wear high heels and leg baring skirts and dresses. They don't care if they are intimidating. They've come a long way!

It is a great time to be a tall woman, or a tall femulator.

This time, there are two new additions to the list and both women are over six feet tall!

6'1" swimmer Missy Franklin (source: Linda Marie Daniels)

6'2" model Robyn Lawley (see photo; source: Chrisio)

Fantasia Fair Fashionista

Attending Fantasia Fair requires planning if you are a fashionista.

The first time I attended the Fair, I brought eight pieces of luggage! That's over one piece of luggage for each day of the week long event.

On the other hand, I know a Fan Fair attendee who brought one dress for the whole week.

The second time I attended the Fair, my luggage was lighter because I was attending for a half week versus a full week. Cutting my stay in half would logically make my luggage lighter, but I also packed more intelligently to make my luggage still lighter and that is my plan (in progress) for my week long stay at the Fair in less than two weeks.

My first step is to obtain the Fan Fair schedule and see what is on tap.

In addition to being a fashionista, I am also a computer nerd, so I build an Excel spreadsheet to plan for the week after I get the schedule.

In the first column of the speadsheet, I list each day of the week twice - once for day wear and once for night wear.

In the second column, I list each night activity and in the third column, I categorize how dressy each night event will be. (Will a cocktail dress do or will full glam evening gown be necessary?)

In the fourth column, I list items from the Stana Collection to meet the requirements of each day and night event.

I add four additional columns: one each for shoes, hosiery, jewelry, and handbag to accessorize each outfit.

After I fill in all the blanks, I sort everything to arrive at an initial packing list. Hopefully, there will be some duplication (most likely in accessories).

To the initial list, I add scarves, unmentionables, outerwear, wig, makeup, lighted mirror (to apply makeup), baby wipes (to remove makeup), Nair, nails, shaving stuff, dental stuff, other toiletries and the electronics (camera, cell phone, computer, etc.)

Hopefully, I will not need eight bags to pack everything. Such is the lot of a Fantasia fair fashionista!

How to Manage Internet Haters

Some of you readers are also bloggers like me and occasionally, you may encounter an "Internet hater" also known as a "troll."

Femulate has had a few, but they are not a problem because I have learned (the hard way) how to handle them.

As its title indicates, "How to Manage Internet Haters" from Independent Fashion Bloggers offers some advice on the matter and is worth reading by my sister bloggers out there.

A Transgender Child’s Victory

A third-grader in New Hampshire scores one for trans equality in the elementary-school bathroom. Read the whole story written by Mary Elizabeth Williams in Salon.

Six Million

About the time this post goes live, this old blog will have had its 6 millionth hit!

Can you believe it? I can't --- I am always amazed at the popularity of Femulate. I must be doing something right because you all keep coming back and I appreciate it.

Thank you for that!

Why I Like Fantasia Fair

Staying at a Bed and Breakfast

The scenic road trip and scenic Provincetown

Fresh seafood

The Atlantic Ocean

Friendly civilians

The Pilgrim Monument, which reminds me of the clock tower in my hometown Waterbury

Seeing old friends

Meeting new friends

Dressing to please no one but myself

Around the World in a Dress and a Skirt

"Since I am an adult, people should feel free to call me out on my decisions. In this case, if you do, I will confess that I don't particularly like wearing skirts or dresses. I'm like a soccer mom who doesn't love the sport -- but does love her kids. I couldn't care more about my boy being a happy, self-assured, compassionate person. I couldn't care less about the choices he makes on the way to becoming that person -- as long as they cause no harm to himself or others. The ability to make these choices is his birthright -- a right that I should help him to exercise, since I am responsible for his birth," wrote Nils Pickert, the father who wears a skirt to support his son.

Read the rest of his words on The Huffington Post.

School is a Drag

Starla has been hard at work downloading high school femulations and I uploaded 72 of her newly downloaded images to the Yearbooks collection on flickr this morning.

The highlight of today's additions is the annual Miss Mess competition at the Boise (OK) High School. Be sure to check it out!

There are two ways to view the newest additions:

Method 1: Open one of the Yearbooks sets (A through Z) and you will find the newest uploads at the end/bottom of the set. (The oldest uploads appear at the beginning/top of the set.)

Method 2: Open my photostream and you will find the newest uploads at the top of page 1. The uploads get older as the page numbers get higher with the oldest uploads on the last page.

By the way, the contents of the Yearbook A through Z sets are organized according to school name, for example, the photos from Hard Knox High School would be in the Yearbooks H set.

Atlanta's Womanless Cotillion for Southern "Belles"

Photos from the annual Atlanta Cotillion are showing up on the Internet. So far, the biggest batch of photos (71 in all) from the September 5th womanless event are here.

The event was spectacular and the images are inspiring to girls like us!

(Thank you, Aunty Marlena, for the link to the photos.)

They're For Me!

Lane Bryant - Atlanta

Today, I am happy to present another guest post by Paula Gaijkowski,

As transgendered people, many of us lead lives filled with guilt, fear and anxiety. One of the areas where this affects us greatly is shopping. Whether you are a closeted crossdresser or an experienced girl out and about on a regular basis, you can still harbor anxiety when looking for a new dress, lingerie or shoes. Even now, after going out on a regular basis in cites all over the U.S., I still sometimes get butterflies in my stomach when walking into a store.

Before you can even consider going out into the world, you will need clothes to wear. There are two ways to shop for clothes: either dressed as a woman (en femme) or as a man (in drab). I’d like to discuss shopping in drab especially for our emerging sisters who want to start building their own wardrobe.

So many girls are embarrassed or fearful about going into a store and buying women’s clothing. Let’s start with a rhetorical question, what you are doing? Answer: You’re buying women’s clothes for yourself. Now that may be atypical, but you certainly aren’t alone. Sales associates I’ve spoken with typically see two to three crossdressers a week. So what is it then that keeps you from asking for that LBD in a size 18?

I was fearful because I had not made peace with the fact that I was transgender. I felt that there was something wrong or bad about me. Deep down I was ashamed. By admitting it to a sale associate, I opened myself up for their disapproval of who I am.

Then it dawned on me. I am 52-years-old. I am hard-working and have a successful career. I am financially successful, I am a dedicated husband and father. I give back to my community and I am active in my church. I strive to be caring, kind, and thoughtful. I don’t drink or abuse drugs. I am honest and trustworthy.

This is a part of my personality that has caused me shame and anxiety for years. There are medical and biological reasons for this. It doesn’t make me an awful person, it means I’m different. I won’t feel bad about myself anymore.

Others have lost their power to judge me. I realized that being transgender is no different than being left-handed. One of the best ways to free yourself from these fears is to confront them head on by doing some shopping. Dress Barn, Lane Bryant and Fashion Bug are great places to start. These stores are TG-friendly and have been frequented by our community for years.

When you’re shopping in drab I recommend that you dress nicely. Wear clean, pressed clothes, be clean-shaven and smile. Don’t show up to try on dresses in dirty work clothes. If I am in drab, I like to wear an almost androgynous look, a black knit top and black or khaki pants. You want to depict a positive image. It helps if the likeness they see is a nice man verses, “This guy looks creepy.”

Young sales associates are familiar with transgender people. They are typically informed and probably have friends who are LGBT. They often are the most enthusiastic and even seem to embrace the diversion we present to them. Smile, be polite and don’t waste their time if you are not going to buy anything.

Remember you are not the first crossdresser in this store; they want your business and want to help you. If you’re worried about being recognized, find a store away from home. Some of the stores that actually have official transgender-friendly policies are MAC Cosmetics, Nordstrom’s, and Macy's. Fashion Bug, Lane Bryant, Dress Barn, and Payless are all known in our community for being helpful. That being said, the worst reaction I ever heard any crossdresser getting from a sales associate was indifference. For example: “You can check over there.”

Here’s an illustration of my most recent trip to a Lane Bryant in New England. I was in drab and had not shopped there before.

Sales Associate, “Hi Good Morning, Can I help you?”

Paula (Smile, I always smile!). “Hi I’m shopping for Capri pants and a top… they’re for me.”

Sales Associate, “Do you know your size?”

She didn’t even hesitate. It went great from there on. I bought a nice pair of white Capri pants and asked if I could try them on and also tried several tops, but didn’t like any of them. The sales associate asked me my name and told me hers and was excitedly throwing tops over the dressing room door for me to try on.

One of the most liberating moments in my life was for the first time uttering those words “they’re for me.” When the words came rolling off my tongue, the world stopped; I could hear the clock ticking and the hum of the air conditioning. I had visions of alarm bells going off and a SWAT team bursting out.

Instead I got a smile of approval from the sales associate and a 1000-pound burden of guilt was lifted off my shoulders. I had given myself permission to be transgender. It was an epiphany. The problem was in my head, once I got over this I was able to move forward with my evolution as a woman.

If you want to grow, the only way is to take that step. You have to make a decision to move forward in your journey. Don’t feel you need to do this; perhaps you are comfortable where you are now. I personally had reached a point in my life where the guilt and anxiety was suffocating me.

Presenting a convincing feminine image takes work, planning, discipline, and dedication. If you do nothing, nothing will change. You will be stuck in that cycle of guilt and regret. If you decide to take that step, you will find that your fears were unfounded. This was my experience and also dozens of other girls I have talked to. We all wonder, “What were we afraid of?”

After some time, you will have stores and sales associates that become your favorite. My girlfriends and I all look forward to visiting our own much loved sales associate or preferred cosmetic counter for the latest arrival. When you walk through the mall next time, take it all in, the beautiful dresses, the trendy outfits, the pretty shoes and the gleaming cosmetic counters. Then ask yourself "Who are they for?"

Now you know the answer: “They’re for me!”

Let There Be (the Right) Light

In her blog post, image consultant Ginger Burr asks, "Are you getting dressed in the dark?" and goes on to explain how the correct lighting is so critical to achieving your look.

(Which is why I always use a lighted makeup mirror when I do my makeup.)

Ginger's post is full of valuable information and I highly recommend reading it.

Jim Bridges

Yesterday, Barbara left a comment on my “Street Style Provincetown” post.

Barbara and I go way back. She is one of my oldest friends in the trans world and is the treasurer and also coordinator of registrations and events for Fantasia Fair.

She commented, “Speaking of fashion at the fair... this year we welcome back the Master of MakeUp and Fashion Jim Bridges... who will be an integral part of this year's fashion show onstage and off!”

Jim Bridges is a Hollywood makeup artist. He gave me my first makeover at First Event in 1995.

That First Event was the first trans convention I ever attended and I was in awe the whole weekend.

After watching Jim makeover a random attendee, I was so impressed with the transformation that I made a reservation for a makeover.

His transformation of me was as impressive as the transformation I witnessed earlier. I literally did not recognize myself when he was finished.

"Is that really me?" I wondered when I looked in the mirror for the first time after the makeover.

I learned a lot about how to apply makeup during that makeover including skills that I still use today. I look forward to seeing Jim again and thanking him for helping me become the woman I am today!

School "Girls"

Three "girls" from Eden Prairie High School in Minnesota
look very comely in their cheerleader uniforms back in 1982.

Forty-two new images for the high school (and beyond) Yearbook Femulations collection arrived from Starla and I uploaded them to flickr for your viewing pleasure.

There are two ways to view the newest additions:

Method 1: Open one of the Yearbooks sets (A through Z) and you will find the newest uploads at the end/bottom of the set. (The oldest uploads appear at the beginning/top of the set.)

Method 2: Open my photostream and you will find the newest uploads at the top of page 1. The uploads get older as the page numbers get higher with the oldest uploads on the last page.

By the way, the contents of the Yearbook A through Z sets are organized according to school name, for example, the photos from Hard Knox High School would be in the Yearbooks H set.

Street Style Provincetown

Last week, I posted links to slideshows of street styles in New York City during Fashion Week.

This week, Fashion Week moves across the Atlantic. Here are two slideshows (1 and 2) of street styles in London.

Above is a photo taken by Laurel of street styles in Provincetown during Fantasia Fair in 2008.

I am really jazzed about attending Fantasia Fair next month. If I can pull it off, I will take photos of the street styles in P-Town during Fan Fair and post them here.

A Week in Provincetown

Relaxing at my B&B during Fantasia Fair, October 2010

The Southern Comfort Conference takes place this week in Atlanta. I seriously considered attending, but after weighing all the costs, I decided not to go.

The transportation expenses broke the camel's back.

It is nearly 2000 miles roundtrip. Driving would be less expensive than flying, but driving would take a lot longer. Since this girl does not travel lightly, the expense of flying would be burdened with the added cost of whatever the airline charges for luggage. And if I wanted to get around Atlanta, a car rental would be an additional burden.

Also, as I wrote here last month, "my girl mode and boy mode must take separate vacations because my spouse does not want to vacation with my girl mode. I have no problem with that, but two vacations are not usually in the cards financially" especially if one is as expensive as the Atlanta trip likely would have been.

I was very disappointed about not going to Atlanta, but I accepted the financial realities and moved on.

Last week, my wife indicated that she does not want to go away on vacation this year because of some family health issues. She is ok with day trips, but does not want to take any extended trips away from home.

That freed up a lot of vacation funds, so I began thinking about how to spend it.

It was too late for Atlanta, but Fantasia Fair is a month away. A lot of my friends are going to Fantasia Fair this year, I need a vacation, and most importantly, I need to spend some extended time as a woman again, so I thought about attending Fantasia Fair this past weekend.

Traveling to Provincetown on Cape Cod (the site of Fantasia Fair) is a piece of cake. Pack the car, drive four hours and I am there. The only hitch might be getting a room at this late date, but when I contacted the Bed and Breakfast where I stayed last time, they had one room left, so I grabbed it.

I registered for the event yesterday and now I just have to count the days until I will be able live as the woman I am full-time for a full week.