Diversity in the Workplace

(A New Yorker cartoon parody.)

This is a rerun, but it still makes me laugh!

Womanless Black & White Ball

On Saturday, Fool's Paradise hosted The Black & White Ball on Fire Island, NY. Photo galleries of this womanless extravaganza are online for your viewing enjoyment. (The photos below are four of my favorites.)

Mainstream Femulating in Japan

Since rising from defeat in World War II, Japan has been a leading source of innovations that have become mainstream throughout the world.

The list of Japanese innovations is long and I will not enumerate them here, but you can view this slideshow to see what I mean. (Yes - I was surprised that the Japanese invented the felt tipped pen, too.)

So which Japanese innovation is going to go mainstream next?

According to a video report from Australian Broadcasting Corporation (ABC), male-to-female crossdressing is exploding in Japan and "is becoming more mainstream in a society that once had rigid gender lines."

I was aware of Japanese femulation, blogged about it here in the past, but I had no idea it was becoming "more mainstream." 

According to the ABC report, "Toshinaga Hijikata has published a series of books offering men advice about cross-dressing. Sales have now passed 130,000 copies. He says Japan is slowly learning that not all men want to be macho."

I researched Toshinaga Hijikata and found the following in an article on The Asahi Shimbun website:

"'It started with (manga and anime). I think it lowered the threshold for wearing women's clothing by attracting attention on the Internet,' says Toshinaga Hijikata, editor in chief at WAaI!, a magazine published by Ichijinsha that specializes in covering otokonoko.

"In 2007, Ichijinsha published Onnanoko ni Naritai! (I want to be a girl!), a book with information on how to dress like a woman. Subsequent books have made it into a three-volume series that has sold more than 110,000 copies.

"Hijikata says that most people who like the 'cute boys' that appear in manga and video games are mainly men, many of whom then try to be like these otokonoko.

"'They simply want to be part of the ideal female community they perceive,' says Hijikata.

"Typical fantasies are the images of young girls playing in a field of flowers or whispering secrets in the corner of a classroom, he says. The otokonoko seek out to be part of the group and the beautiful imagery they project, Hijikata says.

"'Perhaps cross-dressing is their ticket to a women-only world,' he says."

I looked for Onnanoko ni Naritai! and found 44 pages of the book on Photobucket. I also found three volumes of Hijikata's magazine, WAaI! (Boys in Skirts), online here: Volume 1, Volume 2, and Volume 3

Gyrlgling, I found femulating Japanese males everywhere! One link led to another with still more Japanese femulators!

My head was overloaded with all this information and I was convinced that crossdressing was indeed going mainstream in Japan.

As they say at Sony, "What's good for Japan is good for the States."

Will crossdressing become more mainstream in the USA, too?

(Thank you, sissyslave4domme, for the heads-up about the ABC story.)

In Your Dreams - Part 2

I did not recall a single minute of last night's dreams, which is typical for me.

It seems that the dreams that I do remember either include dead relatives or me en femme or both.

In Your Dreams

Last night was one of those nights! I had some unusual dreams and I actually remembered bits and pieces of some.

(I blame it all on the Chinese food I ate for dinner.)

One dream was the kind of dream that only a trans girl would dream.

Hot on the high heels of the success of the film Bridesmaids, an outfit out of Las Vegas now offers a "Vegas bridesmaids' experience" for you and your wedding entourage. Called "Bridesboys," the service is intended for the males of the wedding party and includes a complete head-to-toe male-to-female transformation before the "girls" spend the night doing Vegas.

I woke up before the transformation and bridesmaids' experience began. I hope to pick up tonight where I left off last night.

Please pass me the pork-fried rice. 

 

Trans Sisters at the Casino

I went to the casino yesterday in boy mode for a family birthday party.

The party arrived at the casino at about 1 PM and the festivities began with some pre-dinner gambling.

I invested $40 in one slot machine and 30 minutes later, I walked away with $320.

The casino was crowded yesterday due to the long holiday weekend and it was difficult finding available slot machines to play. As a result, I did not lose much of my winnings and used them to pick up the dinner tab.

We finished dinner at about 7 PM and it was now "high glam" time in the casino. Everywhere I looked, I saw young women dressed to kill in evening gowns, cocktail dresses and their highest heels.

Among the glamorous women filing into the casino, I also noticed a few boys in evening gowns, cocktail dresses and their highest heels. Some of  "girls" were more glamorous than the girls.

My trans radar is pretty good and I am sure that I detected my sisters en femme last night. And I am 99% sure about the ones who were using the men's restroom!  

How’s Your Swing?

Today, I am happy to present another guest post by Paula Gaijkowski, who earlier this month contributed "Frequent Flier" to this blog.

How’s your swing?

If you’re a golfer, you recognized this as familiar greeting between other golfers. Golf is a remarkably simple game to the casual observer; hit the ball into the hole. Not unlike being a transgender woman, which in realty is astonishingly complex and multifaceted.

For years, I was a casual golfer. I’d take my clubs out of the basement, dust them off, and hit the course two or three times a year. It’s no surprise my game stunk and I was getting no better. I searched for the quick fix, new driver, new balls, a book, and maybe a couple of nights at the range. Nothing changed.

Years ago, I got a new job and made friends with a golfer in the office. We started going to an indoor range nearby and took lessons during the winter. The instructor taught me one thing that I have carried forward into many things in life. Most of golf was played in my head. It’s a mental game, especially your swing. The mechanics and the physicality of your swing has to be learned and stored in your mind and pulled out without thought or effort. It needs to become a natural part of you.

Hopefully, I haven’t lost you yet; here’s where I tie the two together: it needs to be natural and instinctive, just like a being woman.

A few months ago, I had a great trip to Chicago and enjoyed several days out en femme. The last day there, I was too exhausted to spend the time getting dressed and ready, so I was outside enjoying the day at the Oakbrook Mall.

In front of the bookstore I saw the prettiest girl. I watched her with envy as she walked through the courtyard and perched on a bench. Everything about her was feminine, fashionable, smart, and beautiful. I looked her over as another woman would and made a mental list of all the effort it took to look this good: the hair, makeup, matching jewelry, eyebrows, her lashes, manicure, and pedicure, shaved smoothed and tan legs, designer shoes, and purse. It all looked so natural, graceful, and effortless.

Yes, effortless, just like the perfect golf swing.

So I ask you? Are you pulling your clothes and makeup out of storage like I did with my clubs and expecting magical things to happen when you dress en femme?

My friend and I took a few lessons, but continued to go to the range twice a week for a year; it became habit. On our lunch break Tuesday and Thursday we were there. If I was bored or idle somewhere, I’d practice my stance, swing and follow through without a club. I practiced putting in the basement instead of watching TV after dinner. That September I shot 78 in a tournament. The year before I never broke 100!

I don’t golf anymore, but I do present as a woman. The last two years have been very rewarding. I have improved my image and have done things I have dreamed about for years. Just like the example I gave using golf, it takes effort to appear effortless just like that pretty girl in Oakbrook. If you look around our community online, you will notice the girls who look good, really work at it. It takes time. This is a lifestyle. You need to set goals and work toward them.

I always dreamed of going out in public as a woman. When I turned 50, middle age crazy took over and I began working on it.

First I began losing weight; nothing makes you feel or look better than being physically fit. I went from a size 26W to a 16 Misses. How you lose the weight is another issue all together.

I began buying makeup from a very helpful sales associate at the NARS counter. Every couple of weeks I’d buy another piece of cosmetic and she would tutor me. Kasey was the first person who taught me not to be ashamed of being transgender. I would practice at home even if I wasn’t getting dressed; I would apply my makeup getting better each time. I’d watch YouTube tutorials when I couldn’t practice.

I saved up and bought a good wig. Wig stores are all transgender-friendly! If you don’t believe me, call one; be polite and honest and tell them you are a transgender person looking for a wig and would like to come in. I guarantee you are not the first.

Once you have the hair, learn how to style it. Ask you your wig lady for lessons. I have had several classes where my wig lady taught me how to style and comb out my wig. After the classes practice, practice, practice.

I found a gender therapist and for the first time in my life spoke openly and face-to-face with someone about this. Speak with any girl and she will tell you this is a big part of self-acceptance. Because of this, I was able to shed the guilt and shame I struggled with for years. I was also able to understand where I wanted to go with this. That’s when I set my goal: being able to go out in public as a woman on a regular schedule.

Get a big sister; connect with another girl online or in person, even if you meet in drab as friends. Having someone like yourself to support each other is important.

Practice your voice. Smart phones have recording apps. Use your feminine voice every day. I recite a memorized speech each day during my drive to and from work. After several months, my voice started to really sound natural.

Become a student of fashion; find a transgender mentor and study other women. Which one are you? Find your style and not your fantasy.

Movement is my goal for this year: walking, posture, and body language. I am hoping to find a coach or modeling school to help and then practice. In the meantime, when I shop the mall at lunch, I put my body into girl mode. Nobody notices and even if they did, so what??

So much of my presentation has become second nature to me now. I walk out the hotel room door, smile, at the maid, stop at the front desk, without trepidation or anxiety. This self-assurance is contagious to everyone around you. It validates your appearance to them.

When I visit cosmetic counters in girl mode, I am always open about being transgender. When you get this close to a person, they can tell you are transgender. The sales women seem to love the diversion of having a transgender customer. We always have great conversations and I always ask them about my appearance. Most often, the words I hear are “poised,” “natural,” and “classic.”

They say 90% of presentation is attitude and confidence. This takes effort and work. That confidence and attitude comes from the steps I outlined above.

My point is it takes effort to look effortless. This effort is all part of being a woman. Please remember to enjoy the journey, the practice, the friendships, the accomplishments and even the failures. Then when you walk through that door dressed for a day of activities, you won’t even think about your swing --- it will be perfect.

I Have Something

Now, I have something and it is bad news.

Living part-time in girl mode and part-time in boy mode is an expensive proposition.

Maintaining two wardrobes is one expense. I admit that I pay much less attention to my male wardrobe than my female wardrobe, but it is an expense nonetheless.

Vacationing is another expense. My girl mode and boy mode must take separate vacations because my spouse does not want to vacation with my girl mode. I have no problem with that, but two vacations are not usually in the cards financially.

A dress bought here and a dress bought there is an expense, but it does not have the same credit card shock as a four or five-day trip away from home. Multiply that by two and I can smell plastic melting in the morning.

After doing the math, I have concluded that I cannot afford a trip to Atlanta to attend Southern Comfort Conference.

Sorry to disappoint you, but no one is as disappointed as I am.

I Have Nothing

Sorry, but I have nothing today. Zero. Nie miałem nic. Nil. Nada. A big goose egg. Sorry.

2012 Miss Trans of Poland

Fifteen girls competed in the second annual Miss Trans pageant in Warsaw’s club Le Garage on June 2. The club and the Trans-Fusion Foundation organized the event.

Pageant judges included Anna Grodzka, the first known transsexual Member of Parliament in European history.

Here are links to two galleries of photos from the pageant: on the Trans-Fusion Fund Facebook page and the WP.PL website.

Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying*

I only think about being transgender when I am in boy mode. I seldom think about it in girl mode.

In boy mode, I feel a little uncomfortable; I am in a place that is wrong for me and I think about how comfortable I would be if I was in girl mode.

In girl mode, I am in a perfect place. I don't think about moving to another place and I can get busy living.

* “Get busy living or get busy dying” is one of my favorite movie lines; it comes from one of my favorite films, The Shawshank Redemption .

Dead Bug

I just received an e-mail from Fashion Bug informing me that their website will officially close on September 5.

"Uh-oh," I thought to myself, "If the website is going offline, what about their brick and mortar stores?"

A quick Google revealed that the new owner of the chain plans to close all 600 Fashion Bug stores by early 2013.

That saddens me. Over the years, I have done a lot of shopping at The Bug. Their prices were very reasonable and some of my nicest clothing came from their stores.

I guess I can take advantage of their going-out-of-business sales, but my heart won't be in it.

I See Girly Boys

I refer you two videos featuring males who are so feminine that it makes a femulator want to trade in her Jimmy Choos for Birkenstocks.

The first video features model Stav Strashko wearing a string bikini in a Toyota commercial. I recommend reading Mary Elizabeth Williams' commentary that accompanies the video.

The second video features model Andrej Pejic in interview mode. It is four months old, but I just discovered it a few days ago. I originally viewed it with the sound off and was very impressed how feminine Andrej's mannerisms seem to be. View it with the sound off and perhaps you will agree.

***

Before I finalize my plans for attending simultaneous conferences in Atlanta next month, I am trying to figure out how to divide my time between the ham radio conference and the transgender conference (Southern Comfort).

Should I stay in the ham conference hotel or trans conference hotel? The conferences are 25 miles apart on opposite sides of Atlanta, so I have to choose carefully.

***

Just a thought... Monday I have jury duty. Should I go en femme?

***

I just moderated a comment on a July 2007 post titled "feminine skirts and dresses for men." Would you believe that that post has 172 comments? By far, that post has received more comments than any of the other 2,271 posts I have published here in 5-1/2 years.

Atlanta Bound

Atlanta is the site of  the Southern Comfort Conference and a ham radio conference on the same weekend next month. I plan to attend both.

If you are planning to attend Southern Comfort, I hope to see you there.

Maybe I can organize a Femulate reader get-together during the weekend if enough readers are interested. Let me know.

Boxboro No Go

Things did not work out, so I will not be attending the ARRL New England Division Convention in Boxboro, Mass. this weekend.

I Tweet, Therefore I Am

if someone tweets without followers, does anyone hear her tweets?

That was my very first tweet on Twitter. No one heard it because I had no followers.

So please follow me by clicking on the “Follow @Stana_Femulate” button at the top of the left sidebar.

Scent of a Woman

I wrote here on Friday about my first aid training class and how the instructor picked me to help him demonstrate the modified chest thrust.

Before proceeding, he asked, "You don't mind if I have a little fun with you?"

"I don't mind," I said.

He began, "Instead of using the abdominal thrust on this student, we will use the modified chest thrust because he is eight-months pregnant."

I was taken aback by his "little fun," but went along with it and tried to act amused.

***

Commenting on my story, Pat wrote, "...the instructor may have been picking up a feminine vibe or aura from you in selecting you for the 'pregnancy' demonstration."

I had the exact same thoughts, but I did not write about it because I felt that it was a little too farfetched. Now I'm thinking maybe not.

All my life, I have given off feminine vibes.

It is not something I do intentionally; it is such an integral part of my natural persona that I don't even realize what I am doing that gives off those vibes.

The proof is in the pudding. As a youth, my peers made it clear to me that I was not a manly boy. Boys called me names, girls would not date me, and gays were interested in me. In high school, one of my teachers (a female) told me I should wear a dress.

I was confused.

Even as an adult, I still give off feminine vibes. Adult males are a little more civilized than teenaged males, so they don't call me names, although a few have. Women often treat me as they would another women and gays are still interested in me.

I am less confused now because I think I figured it out, i.e., I am a woman. So I should not be surprised that the first aid instructor figured it out, too.

Don't Let This Happen To You

That's me 17 years ago. An apt caption might be “Youth is wasted on the young.”

There I am dressed to the nines with minimal makeup (probably just foundation, lipstick, and mascara), yet achieving a passable femulation; ready to trip the light fantastic, but, oh so closeted.

Back then, the only time I went out en femme was to attend support group meetings because I feared that I would not pass in public. I was sure every person I encountered would see through my guise, then point, laugh, and inform the world that I was not what I appeared to be.

What a waste!

I have long overcome those fears.

When I am out en femme, I probably pass if no one is paying close attention to me, but close up and personal... not so much. And even then, I seldom, seldom, seldom get called on it. 

But passing is not important; experiencing life as the woman I really am is important.

I just so regret that I did not begin the experience when I was younger, when I still could be considered "hot" some of the time. Not like today, when I could be considered "not so hot" most of the time.

So don't let this happen to you. Get dressed. go out, and damn the torpedoes now!

Boxboro Bound?

Are any readers of Femulate planning to attend the ARRL New England Division Convention in Boxboro, Mass. next weekend?

There is a 50-50 chance I may go and it would be great to meet up with you if you are going, too.

Fit to Femulate

The mailman delivered my dress order from ideeli today. Both dresses fit perfectly.

I did not realize that the Belted Crepe Knit Dress had an animal print, which is an added bonus!

On the other hand, I was disappointed in the Bali Powershape Torset Body Briefer that I ordered from Avon. It arrived Wednesday and I tried it on, but like every other body briefer that I ever tried, it was lacking in the shaping department.

I sent it back for a refund today.

Win some, lose some!