It was a long, busy and enjoyable day at the Hamvention. I left my hotel room at 7 AM and did not return until nearly 11 PM.
I am exhausted and going to crash, but before I do, I leave you with this photo taken this morning at the Hamvention before the doors opened.
I arrived at my hotel south of Dayton (Miamisburg) at 2:15 PM.
My room was not ready, so I drove to a nearby pharmacy to buy one thing I forgot to pack: earplugs.
Returned to the hotel and chatted with one of the board members of my group, who was also waiting for a ready room.
I got into my room at 3:15 PM, relaxed, freshened up, took some photos (right) and now I am writing this blog post before I go to my board of directors dinner and meeting at 6 PM.
I love the outfit I am wearing. It is so pretty (IMHO) and it received a lot of attention when I walked through the hotel lobby.
I drove 8 hours/466 miles today.
Traffic was not bad except for some highway construction in Scranton where it took about 20 minutes to travel 1 mile.
I am staying in the same hotel I stayed last year on the Ohio-Pennsylvania border.
I just finished dinner and am ready to crash!
Good night!
Thanks to Aunty Marlena, here is a link to hundreds of images from The Fool's Paradise Drag Party (1996-2010). The quality of the Drag Party femulations is all over the map, but there are many gems (see photo for example). Also, check out the Drag Party's website, where most of the images are probably duplicated, but navigating them is different.
Thanks to Starla, our intrepid yearbook search lady, I uploaded 48 new images to the Yearbook Femulations on flickr.
This male will be wearing female finery through the weekend as I began my trip to the Hamvention in Dayton, Ohio.
Wednesday, I plan to drive about two-thirds of the way or 8 hours, whichever comes first and stay overnight somewhere near the Ohio-Pennsylvania-West Virginia border.
Thursday, I plan to drive the remainder of the trip.
Thursday evening, I will attend my group's board of director's dinner and meeting.
Friday and Saturday, I will be at the Hamvention throughout the day.
Friday evening, I will attend my group's annual banquet. Saturday evening, I have a few options and have not made up my mind what to do yet.
Sunday, I drive home.
I will try to keep you up-to-date with short posts throughout my trip. All the gory details will follow after I get home and regroup.
I will travel to Ohio and attend a convention (Hamvention) during the second half of this week. I will be en femme 24/7.
I have attended Hamvention most years during the past 33 years, but this will only be the third time en femme 24/7.
The first time en femme 24/7 (2010) was ground-breaking for me (and my associates).
I am associated with two groups and I came out to both groups successfully before attending the convention that year. However, at the convention, I avoided people I knew who I had not come out to because I was trying to get comfortable in the new situation.
Coming out to new people is not necessarily comfortable if the other person reacts badly. (By the way, I am a well-known writer in the ham radio world and as a result, I know a lot of people and even more people know me.)
Last year, I was more comfortable and I made a point of reintroducing myself to people I avoided in 2010. Except for one instance, my reintroductions went very well.
This year, I feel completely comfortable and plan to have a great time at Hamvention.
However, this blog may suffer while I am away. Internet access is often an issue, but even under the best wifi conditions, time is always an issue. There is so much to do during the Hamvention that there is not much time for blogging.
As I have done in the past, I will probably post a new photo and a few words each day. And after I get back home, I will decompress and tell all about my trip.
I saw my first love in music last night: the Beach Boys in concert at the Mohegan Sun Arena. My family gave me the tickets as a birthday gift and my daughter accompanied me to the show, while my wife and sister played slots. It was a great concert with all the living original Beach Boys performing 42 songs in in approximately 2-1/2 hours.
After the concert, we discovered that my wife and sister had done very well playing slots while we were in the arena. My daughter insisted on playing the slots, too. It was after 11 PM with a 75-minute ride home ahead of us, so I was not too keen on delaying our departure, but we agreed to play for about 15 minutes and then head home.
Instead of killing the 15-minutes watching her play the penny slots, I decided to play the quarter slots in the next row. I slipped a $10 bill in the first machine and five minutes later, I went away with $43.
I found my daughter and she was winning, too, so I let her be and slipped another $10 bill in a different quarter slot machine. On the third play, I won $150.
The night could not get much better so I decided to quit while I was ahead.
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| Sarah McBride |
There were two notable transgender outings this week.
"Against Me! singer Tom Gabel reveals plans to begin living as a woman in the new issue of Rolling Stone. Gabel ... will soon begin the process of transition, by taking hormones and undergoing electrolysis treatments. Gabel will eventually take the name Laura Jane Grace, and will remain married to her wife Heather." Read all about it here.
Tim McBride, American University student body president, came out as transgender. Tim now goes by the name Sarah and was interviewed on Washington, DC television station WJLA. Sarah also wrote about her outing on The Huffington Post.
In the Junior Division, we have the Brookeland (TX) Independent School District 2009-2010 Womanless Wildcat Pageant (left) and the Green Sea Floyds High School (Conway, SC) 2011-2012 Mr. Green Sea Floyds Pageant (right). Although a mustachioed gurl was the winner of the Mr. Green Sea Floyds Pageant, overall that pageant had higher quality femulations than the Womanless Wildcat Pageant.
In the Senior Division, there were womanless beauty pageants at the Dillon, SC, Latta United Methodist Church and in Coffee Springs, AL. In both pageants, most of the contestants were "men in dresses" or worse, bearded men in dresses (yuck!), but each pageant featured one diamond in the rough.
The gurl above left was the cutest, by far, in the Dillon contest. With a better wig, she could femulate full-time.
The gurl above right in the Coffee Springs competition was outstanding. There was only this one photo of her, but from what I could tell, she had her own hair coiffed in an up do. Also, it looks like she had her eyebrows thinned out to go along with her perfect makeup application, beautiful evening gown and accessories. I wonder if she is a reader of this blog (if you know what I mean).
It is acceptable for a tranny to use the word "tranny" in reference to another tranny, but it is not acceptable for a civilian to use the word "tranny." Isn't that a little hypocritical? (Actually, I think it is very hypocrital.)
Gender theorist Kate Bornstein had this to say about the word “tranny.”
"That’s the most politically problematic self-definition. I get hit for using it. A vocal contingent of trans people insist that the word 'tranny' is a slur on the order of the 'N' word applied to black Americans. It gets used as a hate term. People will yell 'f**kin’ tranny' and throw a beer can at you from a passing car. My people get spat on, and accompanying that spit is the word 'tranny.' But I own that word. I’m trying to give it a good name."
Does it make it any better if people yell "f**kin’ transgender" and throw a beer can at you from a passing car?
It is not the word, but how it is used that is important.
And speaking of the word "transgender," the whole debate about using "transgender" vs. "transgendered" seems to be much ado about not much. I use the two words interchangeably when I speak, although I have been careful about not using "transgendered" when writing this blog because I don't want to give the Trans-Nazis and Trans-Harpies more ammo to shoot in my direction.
I think I will be less careful in the future,
So, you can call me "tranny," you can call me "transgendered," you can call me "anything you want," but just don't call me late for the shoe sale.
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| Thin Man in Orange Dress |
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| Thin Man in White Dress |
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| Thin Man in Orange Dress - Full Length |
Here is what I bought:
Floral Cardigan and Tank Duet (top left). Gracing a tropical wash of watercolors, lacy silver-flecked blooms taper off into ruffling lace-trimmed sleeves and a fluid pointed hem. Attached lace-trimmed tank. Short tiered sleeves. Pointed hem.
I think this duet will go nicely with my black leggings that have lace on the hem.
Collared Floral Dress (top right). Circled by a bright buttoned collar, summery shades of peonies and apple blossoms bloom atop the panels that ring the neck of this shift. 41" length from shoulder to hem. Nonfunctional button on collar. Center back zip.
This dress is so cute; it just skims the top of my knees.
Abstract Cap-Sleeve Dress (bottom left).Gentle gathers crisscross at the bust of a cap-sleeve sheath covered in abstract confetti of watery hues that ripple into a fluid skirt.44" from shoulder to hem. Lined bodice, light shoulder pads. Pull over.
The photo does not do this dress justice. It is hugs my figure, covers my knees (yeah - I know - unheard of), and the color looks great on me.
Bordered Abstract Dress and Bolero Duet (bottom right). This flared frock's leafy splashes of color are complemented by a matching grosgrain ribbon belt and bright bolero. 44" length from shoulder to hem. Hidden back zip with hook-and-eye at top on dress. Fully lined dress; elbow-length sleeves on sweater.
This dress is probably my favorite purchase of the day. The skirt of the dress flares out more than the photo indicates and it looks so good without the bolero, I wear the dress without it.
Now I think I am all set for Dayton except for packing.
I just uploaded 23 new high school yearbook images (care of Starla) to the Yearbooks collection on flickr.
Wednesday's post about participating in a transgender Q and A session with college students in two human sexuality classes raised some questions from my friend Meg of Call Me Meg fame.
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Meg asked: Are you really surprised when you get Ma'am'd?
Being called "Ma'am" does not surprise me. It did pleasantly surprise me the first few times, but now I expect it and yet it is always nice to hear in an affirming way. (Even better is being Miss'd; the guy selling pizza at the student center on Tuesday called me "Miss" ...taht brought a smile to my face.)
Being called "Ma'am" or "Miss" can be taken a few ways:
- I passed as a woman.
- The person who called me "Ma'am" or "Miss" did not look close enough to figure out that I was not a genetic woman.
- The person who called me "Ma'am" or "Miss" figured me out, but was trying to sell me something, so they wanted to stay in my good graces by addressing me as feminine rather than masculine.
- The person who called me "Ma'am" or "Miss" figured me out, but respected my gender presentation and addressed me as feminine rather than masculine.
A funny story: When I went to work in office girl drag on Halloween a few years ago, shortly after getting to the office, my pantyhose began running like crazy! I don't know if they were defective or I was careless, but by 10 AM, I had three runs that were getting bigger by the minute. I wanted to look my best for the costume contest, so I left the building for a few minutes and drove to a nearby CVS to buy a new pair.
I parked the car and walked into CVS passing a handful of people who paid me no mind. I entered the store and to avoid causing a commotion, I went to the first salesgirl I saw and explained that I ran the pantyhose of my Halloween costume and needed a new pair.
"Hosiery is in aisle eight, Ma'am," she replied, unfazed by my Halloween costume hint.
I guess I was not going to cause a commotion, so I went to aisle eight, picked out a pair, then I went to the register where the same salesgirl rang me up without a clue.
Now, here is the amazing part. I never used a femme voice. I spoke in my normal male voice, which is admittedly soft-spoken, but definitely male. Go figure!
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Meg asked: When you're out, has anyone used the wrong pronoun or the wrong salutation? I mean ever? And I bet that's something your fans in general would like to know. It's a great confidence-builder to know that the world is more accepting than we think.
I can honestly say to the best of my failing memory that I have never been wrong pronouned unless it was in a situation where the person using the wrong pronoun knew I was trans and did not know how I preferred to be addressed.
For example, in the classroom, the students know we are trans and sometimes address us with the wrong pronoun. Often they ask how we want to be addressed and they try hard to follow our wishes once they learn what we prefer.
Another example: Over 10 years ago, I was attending a trans convention (First Event in Waltham, Mass.) and I checked into the hotel dressed en femme, yet the woman at the front desk addressed me as "Sir." It irked me at the time, but in retrospect, she probably did not know any better.
Unless someone knows you are trans and not aware of the proper etiquette, the average person is not going to take a chance and offend you by addressing incorrectly if they are not sure of your gender. They will err to the side of caution. If you present as a woman, they will usually treat you as a woman. On the other hand, if you present as a man in a dress, all bets are off.
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Meg asked: You used to say you "crossdressed." What do you tell the students now? Do you tell them you'd go 24/7 if circumstances allowed? Or that you'd transition if you could?
When I started participating in outreach, I said I was a "plain vanilla crossdresser" ...whatever that means.
If my memory serves me correctly, from the start I also always said I would live as a woman 24/7 if I could, which kind of contradicts my "plain vanilla crossdresser" self-identification.
For a few years now, I have been saying that I am transgender and "probably transsexual."
Regarding transition, I say I would skip the surgery (why mess with my 61-year-old body now?), maybe do hormones, and definitely get permanently depilitated.
***
Any more questions?
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| Hour 5 |
Earlier this month, I mentioned here that Jen recommended Insolia shoe inserts, which allow "her to dance the night away in 4-inch stilettos."
Jen, online reviews, and other customer comments on the Insolia website were very convincing, so I ordered a set of inserts and had an opportunity to test them when I spent the day en femme on Tuesday.
I chose my Nine West red and black patent Mary Janes for the test. Previously, my feet screamed for relief after about four hours in those shoes, so I figured they would be a good test shoe for the Insolia inserts. (I also brought along a pair of comfortable heels in case I needed them.)
I am happy to report that the inserts worked. I wore the Nine West Mary Janes for over nine hours on Tuesday; I was able to walk as normally in Hour 9 as I had in Hour 1 with only some annoying pain in Hour 9 that did not exist in Hour 1.
Yes, my feet hurt after nine hours, but the pain was not disabling as it was in the past wearing those 4-inch heels for only four hours.
I look forward to using the inserts in my other favorite heels, especially heels that had been more foot friendly in the past than the Mary Janes. I bet I will easily break the 9-hour mark in those heels.
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| My friend Diana taking a break from trans Q&A at SCSU yesterday |
My primary purpose for going out en femme on Tuesday was to participate in a transgender question and answer session with students in two afternoon human sexuality classes at Southern Connecticut State University.
Before driving to New Haven, I wanted to shop for new clothes for my Dayton trip next month.
I dressed up for the trans Q&A --- a little over the top for shopping --- but very presentable for the two classes. I wore my favorite dress (a sleeveless black and white print) and my favorite shoes (the Nine West red and black patent Mary Janes). I also wore my red ShoeDazzle bag and minimal jewelry... a watch that turned out to be useless because I discovered too late that the watch's battery was losing its life. I also wore my black sweater coat --- it was a beautiful spring day, but it was very windy, so I needed something to cover my bare shoulders.
I arrived at the mall at 10 and looked for leggings in Macy's. I found a handful on a rack in the hosiery department, but only one that may have fit if it was something I was interested in buying (I was not).
Having looked to see what was available on the Macy's website, I knew that there had to be more to select from somewhere else in the store, so I searched the racks in the Misses' department, came up empty-handed and asked a saleswoman where I might find leggings. She directed me to the hosiery department!
Instead of wasting my time in hosiery, I searched the racks in the Women's department and was not having much luck until saleslady Simone asked if I needed assistance. She showed me where the leggings were racked, helped me find my size, and escorted me to the dressing room. She checked up on me a couple of times while I was trying on the leggings and fetched additional pairs for me to try on. I bought three black pairs, one with stirrups, one with lace at the hem and one with zippers at the hem.
Next, I visited JCPenney to peruse their dress racks. I took six dresses to the dressing room. Some did not fit and the ones that did fit, I did not like how they looked on me. Time was running out, so I did not have time to look for anything else to try on and I returned to my car for the 30-minute trip to the university in New Haven.
I arrived about 20 minutes early for class, got Ma'am'd by the guard at the parking lot kiosk and found an empty parking spot right next to the classroom building. I was joined by five other trans-folks, two female-to-males (Dylan and Quinton) and three male-to-females (Diana, Maryann, and Michelle), all who I have done trans Q&A with before.
As in the past, we started by giving the class our bios in a nutshell, then we took questions.
Not much new on the question front --- we heard most of them (or a variation thereof) before. How did you choose your femme name? How do civilians react to you? Which bathroom do you use? Is your family supportive? But there was one question asked of me that was unique. Ater someone asked me a question I've heard before: What do I do if a man tries hit on me? (Answer: I point out my wedding ring), someone else asked me a new question: Has a lesbian ever hit on me? (Answer: Yes, a few times).
And as usual, we discovered that most students were under the impression that all transgenders are gay and as usual, we tried to dispel that notion.
Between classes, we hung back in the student center and had a bite to eat. I had a slice of pizza that disagreed with me. So much so that I was unsure about going out for dinner with Diana and Maryann after class. We planned to go to Outback after outreach. When we left the university, I told them that if I felt up to it, I would meet them there.
I had a 35-minute ride to Outback to decide if I was feeling better or take the exit for home.
Funny thing... whenever I drive home from these classes in New Haven, the timing is such that I pass right by my workplace at the end of the workday and I always expect to see someone from work drive by and maybe recognize my car, which is very recognizable.
That's what happens when you hold on to your car for a long time --- you and your car become one and people recognize you because they recognize your car. To add to the potential of being recognized, I have my ham radio call sign on my license plate. But so far, I have not run into anyone from work and if anyone has seen me, no one has mentioned it to me.
As I approached the exit for home, I felt better and I was hungry, so I decided to go meet the girls at Outback. The parking lot was full and I had to make a complete tour of the premises before I found an empty spot. I noticed that Diana's red Prius was conspicuously absent from the parking lot and she should have been there already because she passed me on the highway 15 minutes earlier.
I went in and asked the woman staffing the entrance to the restaurant if my friends ("two very tall mature women") had arrived. She said no one like that had shown up yet, so she seated me at a booth and I waited.
After ten minutes or so, I got up and walked around the restaurant to make sure they were not seated elsewhere. They were not, so I returned to my booth and ordered a "Filet Wedge Salad"... a salad with slices of "grilled petite filet." It was delicious.
It was lonely eating alone. I wish I had brought something to read. So, I people-watched an enjoyed my dinner.
Turns out that Diana had a conference call at 6:30 PM and she cancelled plans with Maryann as they walked through the parking lot at the university because she thought she would not get out of the restaurant in time to make the call.
After dinner, I returned home after a long, tiring, but fulfilling day out en femme.
