Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Fulfilling Day Out En Femme

My friend Diana taking a break
from trans Q&A at SCSU yesterday

My primary purpose for going out en femme on Tuesday was to participate in a transgender question and answer session with students in two afternoon human sexuality classes at Southern Connecticut State University.

Before driving to New Haven, I wanted to shop for new clothes for my Dayton trip next month.

I dressed up for the trans Q&A --- a little over the top for shopping --- but very presentable for the two classes. I wore my favorite dress (a sleeveless black and white print) and my favorite shoes (the Nine West red and black patent Mary Janes). I also wore my red ShoeDazzle bag and minimal jewelry... a watch that turned out to be useless because I discovered too late that the watch's battery was losing its life. I also wore my black sweater coat --- it was a beautiful spring day, but it was very windy, so I needed something to cover my bare shoulders.

I arrived at the mall at 10 and looked for leggings in Macy's. I found a handful on a rack in the hosiery department, but only one that may have fit if it was something I was interested in buying (I was not).

Having looked to see what was available on the Macy's website, I knew that there had to be more to select from somewhere else in the store, so I searched the racks in the Misses' department, came up empty-handed and asked a saleswoman where I might find leggings. She directed me to the hosiery department!

Instead of wasting my time in hosiery, I searched the racks in the Women's department and was not having much luck until saleslady Simone asked if I needed assistance. She showed me where the leggings were racked, helped me find my size, and escorted me to the dressing room. She checked up on me a couple of times while I was trying on the leggings and fetched additional pairs for me to try on. I bought three black pairs, one with stirrups, one with lace at the hem and one with zippers at the hem.

Next, I visited JCPenney to peruse their dress racks. I took six dresses to the dressing room. Some did not fit and the ones that did fit, I did not like how they looked on me. Time was running out, so I did not have time to look for anything else to try on and I returned to my car for the 30-minute trip to the university in New Haven.

I arrived about 20 minutes early for class, got Ma'am'd by the guard at the parking lot kiosk and found an empty parking spot right next to the classroom building. I was joined by five other trans-folks, two female-to-males (Dylan and Quinton) and three male-to-females (Diana, Maryann, and Michelle), all who I have done trans Q&A with before.

As in the past, we started by giving the class our bios in a nutshell, then we took questions.

Not much new on the question front --- we heard most of them (or a variation thereof) before. How did you choose your femme name? How do civilians react to you? Which bathroom do you use? Is your family supportive? But there was one question asked of me that was unique. Ater someone asked me a question I've heard before: What do I do if a man tries hit on me? (Answer: I point out my wedding ring), someone else asked me a new question: Has a lesbian ever hit on me? (Answer: Yes, a few times). 

And as usual, we discovered that most students were under the impression that all transgenders are gay and as usual, we tried to dispel that notion.

Between classes, we hung back in the student center and had a bite to eat. I had a slice of pizza that disagreed with me. So much so that I was unsure about going out for dinner with Diana and Maryann after class. We planned to go to Outback after outreach. When we left the university, I told them that if I felt up to it, I would meet them there.

I had a 35-minute ride to Outback to decide if I was feeling better or take the exit for home.

Funny thing... whenever I drive home from these classes in New Haven, the timing is such that I pass right by my workplace at the end of the workday and I always expect to see someone from work drive by and maybe recognize my car, which is very recognizable.

That's what happens when you hold on to your car for a long time --- you and your car become one and people recognize you because they recognize your car. To add to the potential of being recognized, I have my ham radio call sign on my license plate. But so far, I have not run into anyone from work and if anyone has seen me, no one has mentioned it to me.

As I approached the exit for home, I felt better and I was hungry, so I decided to go meet the girls at Outback. The parking lot was full and I had to make a complete tour of the premises before I found an empty spot. I noticed that Diana's red Prius was conspicuously absent from the parking lot and she should have been there already because she passed me on the highway 15 minutes earlier.

I went in and asked the woman staffing the entrance to the restaurant if my friends ("two very tall mature women") had arrived. She said no one like that had shown up yet, so she seated me at a booth and I waited.

After ten minutes or so, I got up and walked around the restaurant to make sure they were not seated elsewhere. They were not, so I returned to my booth and ordered a "Filet Wedge Salad"... a salad with slices of "grilled petite filet." It was delicious.

It was lonely eating alone. I wish I had brought something to read. So, I people-watched an enjoyed my dinner.

Turns out that Diana had a conference call at 6:30 PM and she cancelled plans with Maryann as they walked through the parking lot at the university because she thought she would not get out of the restaurant in time to make the call.

After dinner, I returned home after a long, tiring, but fulfilling day out en femme.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

EEOC Ruling Protects Transgender Employees

"The Equal Employment Opportunities Commission (EEOC) issued a ruling on Monday that provides protection from workplace discrimination for transgender individuals. The ruling holds that Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, which prohibits discrimination against employees or job applicants on the basis of race, gender, color, religion, and national origin, should be applied to transgender individuals."

(source: Ms. Magazine Feminist Wire Newsbriefs)

I'm So Tired

I'm so tired, I just got home and it is late, so I will write about my day out en femme tomorrow.

Monday, April 23, 2012

A Monday Mix

Crossing Over

Jessica of Jessica Who fame invited me to write a guest post for her blog. My guest post appears there today.

Outreach Tuesday

Tuesday afternoon, I will participate in a transgender question and answer session with students in two human sexuality classes at Southern Connecticut State University.

Blogger App

I have the Blogger app on my iPod Touch, but have found it frustrating to use. I am aware of other blogging apps, but don't want to buy a pig in a poke. So can anyone suggest a better app for accessing Blogger via an iPod Touch?

Standards of Care for Womanless Events Revisited

After reading your comments concerning the Femulate Standards of Care for Womanless Events, I want to revisit the standards.

Some of you suggested additions to the standards, which I have added to the modified standards below.

Others misunderstood the purpose of the standards. They are merely a suggestion of what we consider is good femulation for a womanless event. It is not a check-off list that I will use to determine whether or not I write about a particular womanless event in this blog. If I did that, there may be only one or two events per year that would make the cut.

Sadly, we cannot separate the wheat from the chaff. In order to appreciate those femulations that meet our lofty standards, we will have to put up with hair in all the wrong places, oversized tops and bottoms, flip-flops, bare feet, etc.

Anyway, here is the updated Femulate Standards of Care for Womanless Events.

- No facial hair

- No visible body hair including underarm hair

- Heels only - or at least, female dress shoes - no bare feet, flip-flops, beach sandals, or male footwear

- Normal-sized busts and derreires – no exaggerations

- Makeup is a must, but not an outlandish or clown-like application

- Naturally colored and styled hair or wig - no wild wig colors and styles

- No coconut bras and no grass skirts

- Nicely manicured or false nails and polished toenails

- Tasteful earrings, necklace, and bracelets

- Hosiery - pantyhose or tights

- If you need a girdle, then wear a girdle

Friday, April 20, 2012

The Tall

It has been three months since I updated the Famous Females of Height ist! This time, I add two tall television actresses and two taller fashion models to the list.

5'8" – Casey Wilson - actress – television, Happy Endings

5'9" – Krysten Ritter - actress – television, Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23
5'10" – Irina Shayk – model

5'10" – Natalia Vodianova – model (see photo)

Thursday, April 19, 2012

I Want To Be a Drag Queen When I Grow Up


From Mail Online, 'He gets bullied but he's determined to be a performer': Proud mother tells of 14-year-old son's drag queen ambitions

Here is the rest of the story about a British teen's desire to trip the light fantastic in sequins, heels, and big hair.

I never uttered those thoughts when I was growing up, but I dreamed about taking the train into The City and apprenticing with a troupe of female impersonators.

At the time, I thought that my vocation would not sit well with my family, so I it remained a dream. However, in retrospect, I think my Mom would have been as supportive as the mother of Tom/Tamara. And my Mom was a great seamstress; ooh --- the fabulous outfits she would have created for me!

And so it goes (or so it went).

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Standards of Care for Womanless Events

Gina sent me her personal criteria for what constitutes a “good “ womanless event. I mulled over her criteria; modified it slightly and added to it.

Here is what we came up with: the Femulate Standards of Care for Womanless Events.

- No facial hair

- No visible body hair including underarm hair

 - Heels only - or at least, female dress shoes - no bare feet, flip-flops, beach sandals, or male footwear

 - Normal-sized busts and derreires – no exaggerations

- Makeup is a must, but not an outlandish or clown-like application

- Naturally colored and styled hair or wig - no wild wig colors and styles

- No coconut bras and no grass skirts

- If you need a girdle, then wear a girdle

So, girls, those are your marching orders --- get gorgeous!

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Yearbook Femulations

As I mentioned here before, Starla regularly sends me clippings of femulations from online school yearbooks.

Today, I uploaded all 951 of her clippings to flickr, organized them, and opened the collection to the public.

This is the link to the collection. There is also a link to the collection in the left sidebar of this blog.

There are 25 sets in the collection; one set for each letter of the alphabet except X, which is a little ironic. The files are organized according to school name and include the school's location and the date of the yearbook the image came from. There are a few unknowns in the collection; if you can provide any of the missing information, please let me know.

Starla sends me new clippings frequently, so you can expect the collection to grow.

Monday, April 16, 2012

Play Ball

The baseball season is underway and I am finally catching the baseball bug again after swearing off the game last fall.

Watching Moneyball the other night got me in the mood and I took a break from doing taxes to watch a few innings of the Red Sox game on Sunday. I am also looking forward to the festivities surrounding the 100th anniversary of my favorite baseball venue on Friday.

On the baseball femulation front...

I loved playing baseball as a kid --- I could hit the ball a mile, but I threw "like a girl" and I ran so slowly you'd think I was wearing a tight skirt and heels.

I'd like to wear a tight skirt and heels to a game someday.

In the meantime, feast your eyes on the lovely lady in the accompanying photo; she is Mickey Mantle's nephew, Kelly Mantle.

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Two Weird Ones

I often search eBay looking for images that depict femulation.

Occasionally, some of the images I find are so weird that I cannot figure out what was the intention of the image or what was the image actually depicting.

I came across two such images during my eBay search this week.

Here is the first one.

It is a postcard from the 1930s or 1940s. Both persons are wearing male clothing except for their shoes, which are women's high heel pumps. The person on the right is wearing what looks like a Zoot suit. Both persons have male haircuts and both look like they are wearing makeup. "Myrtle" is folding a handkerchief, which I assume is object referred to in the text "I Know What It's For."

My guess is that the postcard depicts two female-to-male crossdressers getting ready to go out and one is telling the other that she knows what a handkerchief is for.

Does anyone have a better idea what this is all about?


The second image that baffled me this week is a photograph from the UK circa 1920.

It depicts a group of men in white dresses, hosiery, and shoes. They have men's haircuts that have been feminized by combing the hair over their ears.

The seller on eBay states that the outfits may be "women's tennis clothes," but I see no evidence of tennis equipment.

I have no clue about what this image depicts --- do you?

Friday, April 13, 2012

Teen Pageant


Cheryl e-mailed me links to photos and videos from the 2012 Groovy Teen Pageant, which occurred at Glenvar High School in Salem, VA, on March 2.

Some of the femulations were so good that there may be a few future Miss Universe contestants in that group.

This link includes photos and videos of the pageant. 

This link has photos only. 

An aside...

When I was in school, I was unaware of womanless pageants. And even if I had the opportunity to participate in one, I think I would have been too self-conscious to do so and out myself in the process.

Which reminds me of Spanish class...

In my high school, they held an annual "Spanish Night," costume party for all the students who took Spanish. The theme of the costumes was something Spanish.

One day in class a few days before the party, my Spanish teacher asked me if I was planning on wearing a seniorita costume. I guess she picked up on my femininity and decided to tease me about it.

I had no plans to wear a seniorita costume. Instead, I dressed as a Cuban revolutionary in military fatigues, Ridgeway cap, fake beard, and cigar. My costume was a big hit.

Another boy did show up in bad seniorita drag. He was a shy, quiet kid and I sensed that he regretted his costume choice. I wonder whatever became of him/her.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Eye Contact

When I started going out en femme, I avoided eye contact by wearing dark sunglasses... indoors!

I recall wearing dark sunglasses while shopping in a strip mall with another more experienced T-girlfriend. When we left the store, my girlfriend told me to ditch the sunglasses because everyone in the store was looking at me. Next store sans sunglasses, my girlfriend reported that I blended in better and she did not notice anyone looking at me.

So I stopped wearing sunglasses indoors, but I made a great effort to avoid eye contact.

The problem is that it is difficult to avoid making eye contact. Even if you make a concerted effort to avoid eye contact, you will find yourself inadvertently catching someone's eye. When this occurs, you may avert your eyes, but that is a mistake because the other person is going to notice your eye aversion and may wonder what's going on. They may take a closer look at you and try to figure out why you averted your eyes and while they are taking a closer look, they may discover clues that give away the fact that you are femulating.

That happened to me a number of times. I inadvertently made eye contact, quickly averted my eyes and then noticed the other person checking me out from head to toe.

I learned my lesson. Instead of avoiding eye contact, I now make eye contact. And I do it with a smile. Most times, the other person will return the smile and even say, "Hello."

They assume that I am just another woman out and about because my mannerisms are not giving them any clues that will make them suspicious. Sure, my Amazonian appearance may give them clues, but at least I am not giving myself away with my mannerisms.

Next time you are out en femme, make eye contact and see how it works for you.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Looking Ahead


At the end of April, I will be speaking/outreaching en femme at two Human Sexuality classes.

I also may be doing the same at one or two Abnormal Psychology classes before the end of the spring semester.

Next month, I will spend four days en femme (24/7) traveling to and from Dayton, Ohio and attending the Hamvention there.

In early June, I may attend my law school's reunion. I say "may" because so far, only three people from my class have signed up for the event. And I only know one of the three. So, at this point in time, it wouldn't be much of a reunion for me. But there is still time for that situation to improve.

After that, summer means fun!

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Miss Universe Pageant To Allow Transwomen


NEW YORK -- Transgender women will be allowed to participate in the Miss Universe beauty pageant next year, officials announced Tuesday, a week after they ruled a trail-blazing 23-year-old could vie for the crown this year.

Pageant officials said they are working on the language of the official rule policy change but expected final word to come soon. Trials for next year's Miss Universe pageant begin this summer.

You can read the rest of the story here on The Huffington Post.

This is old news; I began hearing reports about this last week, but I just had a thought about it today when reading the above quoted HuffPost article.

Will the amended Miss Universe rules allowing transwomen to participate in the pageant be all-inclusive? That is, will pre-ops and no-ops, as well as post-ops be included?

Just a thought.

Friday, April 6, 2012

Death in the Family

My aunt died yesterday.

She had been very sick for a long time, but things got complicated over the weekend and she was hospitalized earlier this week. Everyone figured that she would never leave the hospital alive and they were correct. I planned to visit her tomorrow morning, but that was too late.

My aunt could have been a fashion model. She was tall and thin and had high cheekbones. People said she resembled Lauren Bacall.

She never married and never owned a car, so she had some expendable income, which she used to dress to the nines.

In the 1950s and 1960s, she was a fashion plate. In that era, I never saw her wear anything but a dress and high heels and often a hat and white gloves.

I don't know about her other nieces, but my aunt's fashion sense had a great influence on me.

Rest in peace, Aunt A.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

How High?

Another Update: Here is a link to the full version of original article. Seems like the first time you visit that link, the full article shows up, but subsequent visits asks you to subscribe. The website must be setting a cookie, so read it the first time and don't click back.

Update: The link I included here yesterday worked for me, but not for you! I just updated the link and hope it works for you this time.

High heels seem to be the theme this week.

Hot on the heels of two shoe posts here, The Wall Street Journal has an article today titled "Pushing High Heels to the Limit."

The article considers the question, "How high can a killer heel go—without killing your feet?"

Here is a link to the article which "will be available to non-subscribers of the Online Journal for up to seven days." So read it now or regret missing it later.

Thank you Sandy and Wertand for alerting me to this article.