No Bonnet, Just Ears

Happy Easter!

Death in the Family

My aunt died yesterday.

She had been very sick for a long time, but things got complicated over the weekend and she was hospitalized earlier this week. Everyone figured that she would never leave the hospital alive and they were correct. I planned to visit her tomorrow morning, but that was too late.

My aunt could have been a fashion model. She was tall and thin and had high cheekbones. People said she resembled Lauren Bacall.

She never married and never owned a car, so she had some expendable income, which she used to dress to the nines.

In the 1950s and 1960s, she was a fashion plate. In that era, I never saw her wear anything but a dress and high heels and often a hat and white gloves.

I don't know about her other nieces, but my aunt's fashion sense had a great influence on me.

Rest in peace, Aunt A.

How High?

Another Update: Here is a link to the full version of original article. Seems like the first time you visit that link, the full article shows up, but subsequent visits asks you to subscribe. The website must be setting a cookie, so read it the first time and don't click back.

Update: The link I included here yesterday worked for me, but not for you! I just updated the link and hope it works for you this time.

High heels seem to be the theme this week.

Hot on the heels of two shoe posts here, The Wall Street Journal has an article today titled "Pushing High Heels to the Limit."

The article considers the question, "How high can a killer heel go—without killing your feet?"

Here is a link to the article which "will be available to non-subscribers of the Online Journal for up to seven days." So read it now or regret missing it later.

Thank you Sandy and Wertand for alerting me to this article.

Finding a Sole Mate

At the banquet Saturday night, Jen and I were discussing our love of high heels and she mentioned that she uses a shoe insert that allows her to dance the night away in 4-inch stilettos.

I have tried shoe inserts in the past and have not been impressed, but Jen swears by the ones she uses and she e-mailed me the link to the product website.

At the website, I learned that Insolia Inserts are different from the inserts I have tried (and discarded). Instead of adding padding to the shoe, which is basically what those other shoe inserts do, "Insolia Inserts shift weight off of the ball of the foot back to the heel by placing the foot in the optimal position for high heels."

Jen's recommendation, customer comments on the website, and this review convinced me try them. So I placed an order and will let you know how they work out next time I go out en femme.

Test

Testing the Blogger app on my new iPod Touch.

High Heels As Good Medicine

My neuroma had not bothered me much since the doctor gave me a shot last summer, but it started acting up about two weeks ago. Everyday there was annoying pain around the fourth toe of my left foot.

It was not debilitating, just annoying. Twice a day for two weeks, I applied a prescribed ointment on the toe to ease the pain, but it would not go away completely.

Before I slipped on my pantyhose and high heels Saturday night, I gave the toe a double dose of the ointment and my toe was free of pain throughout the banquet despite wearing six-inch platform heels for seven hours.

Sunday morning, the pain was still absent and has been absent ever since. Go figure.

I am now penning an article for the The New England Journal of Medicine suggesting that six-inch platform pumps are a possible cure for neuroma. (Only kidding!)

From My Room

After Prepping and Primping

Prepping and Primping

Saturday night, I attended the annual banquet of the Connecticut Outreach Society at the Four Points By Sheraton in Meriden, CT.

After I woke up Saturday morning, I began getting ready by attacking the hair on my legs, arms, shoulders, back, and breasts with Nair, while avoiding the armpits, neckline, and nipples, which I learned the hard way do not get along with Nair. After Nair removal, I attacked those other parts with a gel shaving cream and manual Gillette Fusion razor.

After completing body hair removel, I ran my normal Saturday errands until 2 PM, when I returned to prepping for the evening out en femme.

It began with a close shave of my face and neck using a gel shaving cream and the Fusion razor, followed by a moisturizer, primer, and powder foundation.

Next, I sculpted my cheekbones and added blush.

I removed stray eyebrow hairs and used an eyebrow pencil to fill in and shape my brows.

I used a new smokey eyeshadow quad from Avon and was very happy with the results. Then I topped off my eyes with a black powder eyeliner and Avon's new "SuperExtend Extreme" mascara.

The night before, I watched The Seven Year Itch on TCM and decided I would femulate Marilyn Monroe's red lip color by using a red lipliner and red lipstick.

After making up my face, I sprayed it with a makeup setting mist.

Six hours later, I was done.

Only kidding. It actually took about an hour to makeup my face, which is about a third of the time longer than normal, but I wanted everything to be perfect for Saturday night.

Next, I slipped on my wig, and worked on my hairdo. 

Hair set and sprayed, I then dressed: a Spanx wannabe below my breasts and a strapless bra over them, nude pantyhose, and my to-die-for evening gown. Accessories included pearl earrings and bracelet, a glitzy silver/black purse, and a black silk scarf wrap.

I put on Kiss stick-on nails and Chanel No. 9, snapped a few photos, and left home at about 5 PM.

Checking-In with My Fashion Consultant

For the drive to the hotel, I wore slingback three-inch heels, but at the hotel, I slipped on my ShoeDazzle satin peep-toe platform pumps with ankle strap and rhinestone-dotted 1-inch platform and 6-inch heel.

My good friend (and fashion consultant) Patty wanted to see my outfit, so I stopped at her house and let her see what I had wrought. She was impressed.

We chatted awhile, then I left to continue my journey to the hotel two miles away.

The hotel parking lot was nearly full, but I found a spot and then spent about ten minutes switching shoes, which is not easy to do in the confines of a Subaru Outback.

Despite the full lot of cars, there were no humans outside or inside except for the transwomen staffing the banquet check-in table outside the ballroom.

Checking-In at the Hotel

Ham radio sister Melissa was checking in when I arrived, so we caught up on our recent pasts, I bugged her to take my picture (more than once), and we sat at the same table along with old trans girlfriends Laura (nee Wendy), Alice, Alice's spouse Doris, Michelle, and new trans girlfriends Denise and Idano.

I bought a drink and socialized with old friends and new: Deja, Diana, Jan, Janice, and Sylvia. I also met three girls who attended the event because they read about it in this blog: Diane from Long Island, Stacey from New Haven and her girlfriend Jen, who lives just down the road from me (small world!).

After 90 minutes of hobnobbing with many of the 54 attendees, we sat down to eat. The meal was typical hotel fare, but it did not matter much to me because I eat like a bird when I am girdled.

Freshening Up in the Ladies' Room
After My Act of Sheer Folly

My Act of Sheer Folly

After dinner, there were awards for deserving members of the support group, a comedienne who laughed at her own jokes, and the annual Follies.

In the past, four to six people usually performed in the Follies, but lately it has been just Deja and me. She sings and plays guitar (both very well) and I lipsync (just so-so).

This year it was just Deja and me again, but instead of lipsyncing I decided to sing The Beach Boys song "In My Room."

I wrote about that song earlier this year.

"If ever there was a song about teen transgender angst, 'In My Room' was it. I am sure Brian Wilson did not have crossdressers in mind when he wrote the song, but almost any youth with gender issues could identify with the lyrics of that song."

I own The Beach Boys Stack-O-Tracks album, which contains the instrumental tracks (no vocals) to 15 of their hits including "In My Room," so I had the perfect musical accompaniment to my not-so-perfect singing voice.

I copied the song onto my iPod over a month ago and began practicing during my daily commute. After a few days of that, I concluded that singing that song with my inadequate voice would bore the audience, so I decided to change the lyrics to make it more interesting.

After a few writing attempts, I came up with new lyrics and I practiced every day even during my drive to the banquet Saturday night. But as I sat waiting for the comedienne to finish her act, I began to get stage fright. Going over the lyrics in my head, they suddenly did not sound right. I was close to breaking out in a cold sweat when Deja called me up to the front of the dance floor to perform.

I pulled myself together and was ready to give it a go, but then there was a malfunction with the DJ's equipment. She could not get audio from the track I had given her and suggested using the karaoke version of the song, which she had on hand.

I was unsure about using the karaoke version, but I had no other choice, so being a trooper, I said, "On with the show." But then she discovered the error of her ways and got my track to work. I was relieved and sang my heart out with the following lyrics:

     There's a world where I can go and try on women's clothes,
     In my room, in my room.

     In this world I wear a bra and support pantyhose,
     In my room, in my room.

     Do my hair up and my makeup, even shave my gams,
     Do my nails, wear high heels, I'll look very glam.

     Now it's dark and I can sneak out dressed just like my Mom
     From my room, from my room...

I got laughs from the audience after singing the very first line. That knocked the stage fright out of me and I received a nice applause at the end.

The Rest of the Story

Deja sang three songs after me, then the DJ played requests and the boys and girls danced the night away.

I talked the night away instead and had a wonderful time connecting with old and new friends.

Fashion Note 1: I had no trouble walking in the six-inch heels, but a few times, standing in place, I had to catch myself from falling forward. No - I was not inebriated; I had one alcoholic drink the whole night.

Fashion Note 2: I had more trouble getting tangled up in the long skirts of my evening gown. Despite that, I received a lot of compliments regarding the gown.

I did not wear a watch and was very surprised when I asked the time and found out it was 12:15 AM. Shortly after, I said my goodbyes and drove home.

I so enjoy being a girl.

In My Room

That's me singing my version of "In My Room" at the Connecticut Outreach Society's annual banquet last night. My thanks to the lovely Jan Brown for the photo.

I will post a full report here about last night's adventure real soon now.

Going Out

After I post this, I will begin getting en femme for the Connecticut Outreach Society's banquet tonight.

I promise to post photos and words about tonight in a day or two.

My Prom

In school, I did not date much. I interacted easily with girls on a day-to-day basis, but when it came to dating, I did not interact successfully.

Looking back four decades later, I realize that interacting with girls on a day-to-day basis was easy because I was so feminine, I was really a girl. However, dating girls was difficult because I had to act like a male and that was so foreign to me that I was lousy at it.

When I attended my high school's prom, my sister had to set me up with her best friend as my date. That date went fine because I already knew my sister's friend well; it was as if we were two girls out on a date. The only problem was that one girl had to wear a tuxedo.

I have been trying to make up for that wardrobe disfunction ever since.

I consider my support group's annual banquet as my do-over prom. It gives me an opportunity to dress to the nines in the correct wardrobe and be a prom queen for one night.

My do-over prom is Saturday night and you bet I am looking forward to it.

Battle of the Reversed Sexes

In the fashion world, you have males dressing like females and females dressing like males.

Now the twain have met: feminized males interacting with masculinized females.

 A new fashion shoot, titled "Battle of the Sexes" pits a male model in womenswear against a female model in menswear.

You can read all about it and see a slideshow of the shoot at The Huffington Post.

Wardrobe Shift

Found this postcard from the UK on eBay. Postmarked 1913, it depicts a startling contrast in his and her clothing before and after marriage.

Haste Makes Waste

The last few days have been very hectic (don't ask), and as a result, my haste has laid waste to this blog.

In Monday's post, the title should have been "Like MacArthur" (as in Douglas MacArthur) not "Like MacArthr."

In Sunday's post, a key sentence never made it into the published post, although it did appear in the draft. My two cents worth should have been prefaced with the following: "There are two ways of looking at this:"

I corrected both errors.

By the way, I would have said more about the Miss Universe Canada flap in Sunday's post if I had remembered that Donald Trump owns that pageant. On the other hand, if you can't say anything nice about someone, don't say anything at all, so I guess it all worked out.

The lady in today's The Femulated spot needs a little introduction. She is Anne N and according to her e-mail, "I have been a TG person since I was born, my mother brought me up as a girl until the age of five, then I had to go to boy's school. Believe me that was one of my first traumas in life. I have a Master's degree in Engineering, a major's commission in the military, been married three times and I am gay. My profile is on Flickr and Yahoo."

Anne just celebrated her 79th birthday and sent me some current photos "to show the younger generation of TV people that one can still look reasonable although they are ageing. ...one can age gracefully, without miniskirts and fishnet stocking."

Happy Birthday, Anne.

Like MacArthur

Michelle was one of the founders of my support group. She was very active in the group for the better part of two decades holding down a variety of elected and unelected positions in the organization including the always difficult program chairperson role.

A half dozen years ago, her attendance at support group meetings became became irregular and eventually she stepped back from having any active positions in the organization. The last time I saw her was at the support group's annual banquet a three or four years ago.

She just faded away.

Last week, there was an announcement on the support group's e-mail list that Michelle had died. I assume that the only reason we found out about her passing is that one of our members had a professional relationship with Michelle's male side, so she knew Michelle's male name and saw the obituary in the newspaper.

Typically, that does not happen. In most cases involving transgenders who live part time as men and part time as women, we do notir know their male names. When they die, their obituaries never mention their female names nor the fact they were transgenders. So we never know when they pass on.

Over the years, I have met a lot of older transgenders. Most of them were just acquaintances; a few were more than that, but most of them just faded away. I assumed they became ill and or died, but I'll never know.

It is sad. Old transgenders never die, they just fade away. 

My Two Cents' Worth

Jenna Talackova

Somebody (Alyssa) asked, so here are my two cents' worth on the disqualification of a transwoman from the Miss Universe Canada  pageant.

There are two ways of looking at this:

1. She broke the rules, so her disqualification was justified.

2. Being transgender, she is a "naturally born female," so her disqualification was not justified.

And so it goes.

Stana Has a Random Moment

If you are stuck in a wardrobe rut, Ginger Burr has a solution on her Nurturing Beauty Style Secrets Blog today: 3 Key Steps to Creating Visual Interest in an Outfit.

I don't have a middle name, but I kind of like the name Jacqueline. I came up with that after a woman at the True Colors Conference last Saturday said that the dress I wore looked like something Jacqueline Kennedy would have worn. I like that.

Over on The Huffington Post, Greg Voakes writes that a "Study Finds Increasing Support for Transgender Rights in the U.S.," which is good news indeed.

Looking forward to a big night out next Saturday when I will get dressed to the nines to attend the annual banquet of the Connecticut Outreach Society. Did I mention that I will be performing during the Follies portion of the banquet? I have lip-synched to tunes in past banquet Follies, but this year I plan to do something completely different. Stay tuned for a full report after the fact.

That was Tina Fey gracing my Wednesday post, Passes with Glasses. I like her glasses so much that I may order a pair like hers from Firmoo.com. By the way, they have a sweet deal for first time buyers: free frames.

Last night I dreamed that I wanted big breasts. Awake, I never desired big breasts, so go figure.

Trans-Thursday

76-year-old model Carmen Dell’Orefice

Thursday was a transday for me even though I was en homme all day long.

Some websites collect information about your Internet habits in order to build a profile that advertisers use to fine tune their ads to you. As a result, when you visit a website that contains advertising, that advertising is for products in your area of interests as determined by your Internet profile.

In my case, my Internet profile sends advertising for women's clothing my way. However, today I reached a new milestone of sorts: an ad directed at me for menopausal leakage pads!

Speaking of menopause and getting old, I recommend reading "How Lucky Will You Be With Aging?" over on the Daily Makeover website.

The article describes seven features that may indicate just how gracefully you might age. Portraits in the attic don't count, but you might be blessed in other ways, so read the article and find out.

Rite Aid has a sale this week on Kiss nails (buy one, get a second for 50% off). So I went to the local Rite Aid today to buy two sets of pre-glued stick-ons.

The cashier was a middle-aged woman like myself and as she rang up my purchase, she remarked, "Doing your nails?"

Although I knew she was joking, I responded, "Yes, they're for me. I do drag."

"You do?"

"Yes, I do. I wish I had a photo to show you."

I don't know if she believed me or not, but I will definitely add a photo of myself en femme to my boy wallet for future encounters with civilians.

Passes with Glasses

Dianne of Dianne in the Provinces fame, passed on “one of the neatest things” she has found: a website for buying eyeglasses online called Firmoo.com. You upload your picture and it lets you "virtually" try on glasses!

Dianne broke her gender neutral spare glasses on a trip and decided it was time for something non-neutral. She picked out a pair that compliments her hair and style and they were a whopping $40!

I know there are other eyeglass websites that do the virtual try-on and have attractive prices (just Google "eyeglasses" and shop around). But since I have no firsthand experience with them, I cannot recommend one, but Dianne seems happy with Firmoo.com, so there you go.

My own eyeglasses are gender neutral, but I have been thinking about getting girly glasses for girl time and going the online route to get them. I will definitely check out Firmoo.com when I do.

Feeling Like a Woman

Aunty Marlena e-mailed me a new batch of womanless events and two of the events were so outstanding in my opinion that I am mentioning them here.

4th Annual Cinderfella Pageant, Deer Park High School, Deer Park, TX.

The femulations are above average and the photography is some of the best I have seen for a womanless event. (I wish all womanless events looked this good!)

2012 Womanless Beauty Pageant, Covington County Hospital, Collins, MS.

Warning: Bearded femulation alert.

Despite a few beards, the femulations are above average and one in particular (see photo) is outstanding.

The Keystone Conference: An Alumni Perspective

By Sally Stone,
Femulate Guest Blogger

The Keystone Conference is a must if you are thinking about attending a TG conference.

This year will be my fourth and I have to tell you, it gets better every year. Like many other conferences, the Keystone offers a chance to be who you want to be in a social setting and offers a wealth of TG information in the form of well-organized seminars and presentations.

I think what really sets The Keystone Conference apart from other TG conferences though is that the organizers, TransCentralPA, have created a most friendly and caring environment. The TransCentralPA team are the quintessential hosts and the first time you meet any one of these wonderful people, you'll instantly feel like you're part of a loving family. For those of you who haven't ever attended a TG conference or a large TG social event, the Keystone Conference is a perfect choice.

If you think you'd like to attend...and I highly encourage it, I'd like to relate some of my own past experiences and provide you with a little insight on how to make the best of your visit.

Firstly, you should stay at the hotel (Harrisburg/Hershey Sheraton, Harrisburg, PA). It is a great facility with a friendly atmosphere that adds immeasurably to the overall experience. When you arrive, you'll be instantly impressed by how friendly and helpful the hotel staff are. They have always been wonderfully attentive whether I check in as Sally or as my male alter ego. They treat us as though we are royalty and they are super savvy when it comes to understanding the TG community. They are so hip that they even get the feminine pronouns right, and that's super customer relations in my book.

During the daytime hours, there will be numerous seminars to attend and vendors to visit. It's great that you can pick and choose whichever topic tickles your fancy. If you are just beginning to explore your inner-self, you might be interested in a topic on makeup application, selecting a wardrobe, or find out how to better express your feminine side. If you like to shop, you'll find the conference vendors offer a shopping mecca. They will cater to your every want and desire and they usually offer great conference discounts, too.

I'd also like to recommend that you don't miss dinner on Friday evening; it's one of my favorite events. The restaurant choices are terrific and it doesn't get any more convenient with a fancy bus ride to the downtown restaurant district.

After dinner, there are a couple of great options for you to consider. If you are a dancer, there will be ample opportunity to hit one of the local dance clubs and you'll have plenty of company because there a lot of dance fanatics in this group. Another option is to catch the bus back to the hotel to socialize in the lounge. The Friday night lounge gathering has become an epic event during the Keystone Conference and it won't disappoint. You'll meet wonderful people, have memorable conversations and be pleasantly surprised how accepting and interactive the non-conference patrons are.

And of course on Saturday evening the conference jewel-in-the-crown is the Gala Dinner and Dance. This event caps off a wonderful week of activities and it's an event you simply cannot miss. The formal starts with a cocktail social where you can chat with friends, make new acquaintances, and show off your finest, formal, feminine attire. The food is great, the guest speaker is always inspiring, and the entertainment is awesome. Afterward, there is plenty of time left for additional socializing. How could a wonderful week of celebrating the diversity of our gender end any better?

The thing about this conference is that you can take things at your own pace. You can ease into the conference or you can hit the ground running. If you are nervous about coming out or if this is your first time, you should consider contacting one of the conference “Helping-Hand” volunteers. They will answer your questions, give you advice, or simply offer a warm and friendly smile. They know what you are feeling and they can help address any fear you might be experiencing. If you need a friend to lean on as you are taking those first steps out of the closet, reach out to a Helping-Hand volunteer by sending an email to: HelpingHand (at) Keystone-Conference.org.

Well, if you haven't already figured it out, I simply love the Keystone Conference. It's the best kind of fun, it's supremely educational, and it's wonderfully memorable. If you have ever wished for a chance to spread your wings and set your inner-self free, go ahead and take that step. I think you'll find the Keystone the perfect event. Let the members of TransCentralPA guide you on an exciting journey of self discovery. There is nothing preventing you from being exactly the girl you've always wanted to be. Attend the Keystone Conference and let your dreams become reality.

If you are thinking of attending the Keystone Conference and you'd like a little more information about what to expect, what to wear, or anything else regarding the event, please feel free to contact me at sally.stone99 (at) gmail.com. I'd love to hear from you and I really look forward to seeing you there.

(The Keystone Conference is in Harrisburg, PA, March 28 - 31, 2012.)