My Prom

In school, I did not date much. I interacted easily with girls on a day-to-day basis, but when it came to dating, I did not interact successfully.

Looking back four decades later, I realize that interacting with girls on a day-to-day basis was easy because I was so feminine, I was really a girl. However, dating girls was difficult because I had to act like a male and that was so foreign to me that I was lousy at it.

When I attended my high school's prom, my sister had to set me up with her best friend as my date. That date went fine because I already knew my sister's friend well; it was as if we were two girls out on a date. The only problem was that one girl had to wear a tuxedo.

I have been trying to make up for that wardrobe disfunction ever since.

I consider my support group's annual banquet as my do-over prom. It gives me an opportunity to dress to the nines in the correct wardrobe and be a prom queen for one night.

My do-over prom is Saturday night and you bet I am looking forward to it.

Battle of the Reversed Sexes

In the fashion world, you have males dressing like females and females dressing like males.

Now the twain have met: feminized males interacting with masculinized females.

 A new fashion shoot, titled "Battle of the Sexes" pits a male model in womenswear against a female model in menswear.

You can read all about it and see a slideshow of the shoot at The Huffington Post.

Wardrobe Shift

Found this postcard from the UK on eBay. Postmarked 1913, it depicts a startling contrast in his and her clothing before and after marriage.

Haste Makes Waste

The last few days have been very hectic (don't ask), and as a result, my haste has laid waste to this blog.

In Monday's post, the title should have been "Like MacArthur" (as in Douglas MacArthur) not "Like MacArthr."

In Sunday's post, a key sentence never made it into the published post, although it did appear in the draft. My two cents worth should have been prefaced with the following: "There are two ways of looking at this:"

I corrected both errors.

By the way, I would have said more about the Miss Universe Canada flap in Sunday's post if I had remembered that Donald Trump owns that pageant. On the other hand, if you can't say anything nice about someone, don't say anything at all, so I guess it all worked out.

The lady in today's The Femulated spot needs a little introduction. She is Anne N and according to her e-mail, "I have been a TG person since I was born, my mother brought me up as a girl until the age of five, then I had to go to boy's school. Believe me that was one of my first traumas in life. I have a Master's degree in Engineering, a major's commission in the military, been married three times and I am gay. My profile is on Flickr and Yahoo."

Anne just celebrated her 79th birthday and sent me some current photos "to show the younger generation of TV people that one can still look reasonable although they are ageing. ...one can age gracefully, without miniskirts and fishnet stocking."

Happy Birthday, Anne.

Like MacArthur

Michelle was one of the founders of my support group. She was very active in the group for the better part of two decades holding down a variety of elected and unelected positions in the organization including the always difficult program chairperson role.

A half dozen years ago, her attendance at support group meetings became became irregular and eventually she stepped back from having any active positions in the organization. The last time I saw her was at the support group's annual banquet a three or four years ago.

She just faded away.

Last week, there was an announcement on the support group's e-mail list that Michelle had died. I assume that the only reason we found out about her passing is that one of our members had a professional relationship with Michelle's male side, so she knew Michelle's male name and saw the obituary in the newspaper.

Typically, that does not happen. In most cases involving transgenders who live part time as men and part time as women, we do notir know their male names. When they die, their obituaries never mention their female names nor the fact they were transgenders. So we never know when they pass on.

Over the years, I have met a lot of older transgenders. Most of them were just acquaintances; a few were more than that, but most of them just faded away. I assumed they became ill and or died, but I'll never know.

It is sad. Old transgenders never die, they just fade away. 

My Two Cents' Worth

Jenna Talackova

Somebody (Alyssa) asked, so here are my two cents' worth on the disqualification of a transwoman from the Miss Universe Canada  pageant.

There are two ways of looking at this:

1. She broke the rules, so her disqualification was justified.

2. Being transgender, she is a "naturally born female," so her disqualification was not justified.

And so it goes.

Stana Has a Random Moment

If you are stuck in a wardrobe rut, Ginger Burr has a solution on her Nurturing Beauty Style Secrets Blog today: 3 Key Steps to Creating Visual Interest in an Outfit.

I don't have a middle name, but I kind of like the name Jacqueline. I came up with that after a woman at the True Colors Conference last Saturday said that the dress I wore looked like something Jacqueline Kennedy would have worn. I like that.

Over on The Huffington Post, Greg Voakes writes that a "Study Finds Increasing Support for Transgender Rights in the U.S.," which is good news indeed.

Looking forward to a big night out next Saturday when I will get dressed to the nines to attend the annual banquet of the Connecticut Outreach Society. Did I mention that I will be performing during the Follies portion of the banquet? I have lip-synched to tunes in past banquet Follies, but this year I plan to do something completely different. Stay tuned for a full report after the fact.

That was Tina Fey gracing my Wednesday post, Passes with Glasses. I like her glasses so much that I may order a pair like hers from Firmoo.com. By the way, they have a sweet deal for first time buyers: free frames.

Last night I dreamed that I wanted big breasts. Awake, I never desired big breasts, so go figure.

Trans-Thursday

76-year-old model Carmen Dell’Orefice

Thursday was a transday for me even though I was en homme all day long.

Some websites collect information about your Internet habits in order to build a profile that advertisers use to fine tune their ads to you. As a result, when you visit a website that contains advertising, that advertising is for products in your area of interests as determined by your Internet profile.

In my case, my Internet profile sends advertising for women's clothing my way. However, today I reached a new milestone of sorts: an ad directed at me for menopausal leakage pads!

Speaking of menopause and getting old, I recommend reading "How Lucky Will You Be With Aging?" over on the Daily Makeover website.

The article describes seven features that may indicate just how gracefully you might age. Portraits in the attic don't count, but you might be blessed in other ways, so read the article and find out.

Rite Aid has a sale this week on Kiss nails (buy one, get a second for 50% off). So I went to the local Rite Aid today to buy two sets of pre-glued stick-ons.

The cashier was a middle-aged woman like myself and as she rang up my purchase, she remarked, "Doing your nails?"

Although I knew she was joking, I responded, "Yes, they're for me. I do drag."

"You do?"

"Yes, I do. I wish I had a photo to show you."

I don't know if she believed me or not, but I will definitely add a photo of myself en femme to my boy wallet for future encounters with civilians.

Passes with Glasses

Dianne of Dianne in the Provinces fame, passed on “one of the neatest things” she has found: a website for buying eyeglasses online called Firmoo.com. You upload your picture and it lets you "virtually" try on glasses!

Dianne broke her gender neutral spare glasses on a trip and decided it was time for something non-neutral. She picked out a pair that compliments her hair and style and they were a whopping $40!

I know there are other eyeglass websites that do the virtual try-on and have attractive prices (just Google "eyeglasses" and shop around). But since I have no firsthand experience with them, I cannot recommend one, but Dianne seems happy with Firmoo.com, so there you go.

My own eyeglasses are gender neutral, but I have been thinking about getting girly glasses for girl time and going the online route to get them. I will definitely check out Firmoo.com when I do.

Feeling Like a Woman

Aunty Marlena e-mailed me a new batch of womanless events and two of the events were so outstanding in my opinion that I am mentioning them here.

4th Annual Cinderfella Pageant, Deer Park High School, Deer Park, TX.

The femulations are above average and the photography is some of the best I have seen for a womanless event. (I wish all womanless events looked this good!)

2012 Womanless Beauty Pageant, Covington County Hospital, Collins, MS.

Warning: Bearded femulation alert.

Despite a few beards, the femulations are above average and one in particular (see photo) is outstanding.

The Keystone Conference: An Alumni Perspective

By Sally Stone,
Femulate Guest Blogger

The Keystone Conference is a must if you are thinking about attending a TG conference.

This year will be my fourth and I have to tell you, it gets better every year. Like many other conferences, the Keystone offers a chance to be who you want to be in a social setting and offers a wealth of TG information in the form of well-organized seminars and presentations.

I think what really sets The Keystone Conference apart from other TG conferences though is that the organizers, TransCentralPA, have created a most friendly and caring environment. The TransCentralPA team are the quintessential hosts and the first time you meet any one of these wonderful people, you'll instantly feel like you're part of a loving family. For those of you who haven't ever attended a TG conference or a large TG social event, the Keystone Conference is a perfect choice.

If you think you'd like to attend...and I highly encourage it, I'd like to relate some of my own past experiences and provide you with a little insight on how to make the best of your visit.

Firstly, you should stay at the hotel (Harrisburg/Hershey Sheraton, Harrisburg, PA). It is a great facility with a friendly atmosphere that adds immeasurably to the overall experience. When you arrive, you'll be instantly impressed by how friendly and helpful the hotel staff are. They have always been wonderfully attentive whether I check in as Sally or as my male alter ego. They treat us as though we are royalty and they are super savvy when it comes to understanding the TG community. They are so hip that they even get the feminine pronouns right, and that's super customer relations in my book.

During the daytime hours, there will be numerous seminars to attend and vendors to visit. It's great that you can pick and choose whichever topic tickles your fancy. If you are just beginning to explore your inner-self, you might be interested in a topic on makeup application, selecting a wardrobe, or find out how to better express your feminine side. If you like to shop, you'll find the conference vendors offer a shopping mecca. They will cater to your every want and desire and they usually offer great conference discounts, too.

I'd also like to recommend that you don't miss dinner on Friday evening; it's one of my favorite events. The restaurant choices are terrific and it doesn't get any more convenient with a fancy bus ride to the downtown restaurant district.

After dinner, there are a couple of great options for you to consider. If you are a dancer, there will be ample opportunity to hit one of the local dance clubs and you'll have plenty of company because there a lot of dance fanatics in this group. Another option is to catch the bus back to the hotel to socialize in the lounge. The Friday night lounge gathering has become an epic event during the Keystone Conference and it won't disappoint. You'll meet wonderful people, have memorable conversations and be pleasantly surprised how accepting and interactive the non-conference patrons are.

And of course on Saturday evening the conference jewel-in-the-crown is the Gala Dinner and Dance. This event caps off a wonderful week of activities and it's an event you simply cannot miss. The formal starts with a cocktail social where you can chat with friends, make new acquaintances, and show off your finest, formal, feminine attire. The food is great, the guest speaker is always inspiring, and the entertainment is awesome. Afterward, there is plenty of time left for additional socializing. How could a wonderful week of celebrating the diversity of our gender end any better?

The thing about this conference is that you can take things at your own pace. You can ease into the conference or you can hit the ground running. If you are nervous about coming out or if this is your first time, you should consider contacting one of the conference “Helping-Hand” volunteers. They will answer your questions, give you advice, or simply offer a warm and friendly smile. They know what you are feeling and they can help address any fear you might be experiencing. If you need a friend to lean on as you are taking those first steps out of the closet, reach out to a Helping-Hand volunteer by sending an email to: HelpingHand (at) Keystone-Conference.org.

Well, if you haven't already figured it out, I simply love the Keystone Conference. It's the best kind of fun, it's supremely educational, and it's wonderfully memorable. If you have ever wished for a chance to spread your wings and set your inner-self free, go ahead and take that step. I think you'll find the Keystone the perfect event. Let the members of TransCentralPA guide you on an exciting journey of self discovery. There is nothing preventing you from being exactly the girl you've always wanted to be. Attend the Keystone Conference and let your dreams become reality.

If you are thinking of attending the Keystone Conference and you'd like a little more information about what to expect, what to wear, or anything else regarding the event, please feel free to contact me at sally.stone99 (at) gmail.com. I'd love to hear from you and I really look forward to seeing you there.

(The Keystone Conference is in Harrisburg, PA, March 28 - 31, 2012.)

True Colors Conference: The Rest of My Story

I attended the True Colors Conference at my alma mater, UCONN, on Friday.

I was dressed and out the door at 8:40 AM and parked my Subaru in the campus parking garage one hour later.

I walked one block  to the Student Union and although it was a raw day, it seemed as if the sun was shining through the clouds as I passed hundreds of kids dressed in every color of the rainbow.

The vendor and support organization booths were in the Student Union and I quickly found the booth of the Connecticut Outreach Society (COS). I met Janice, who was coordinating the booth and sat next to her to interface with any and all who stopped by.

I worked the booth for about two hours, then took a break to get a cup of coffee. There was a Dunkin' Donuts at the other end of the Union, so that was my destination.

The five minute walk to Dunkin' Donuts took about a 45 minutes because I ran into so many friends and acquaintances along the way. I was surprised how many!

Here is a shout-out to all of them: Angie, Barbara, Diana, Glenn, Holly, Karen, Kelly, Lisa, Lee Ann, Liz, Robin G, Robin M, and Tony.

A lot of trans kids visited our booth. Although COS is intended as a support group for adults, we fielded all the kids' questions and concerns and they seemed to be satisfied customers.

Throughout the day, my Nine West shoes received rave reviews. I lost count how many kids and adults told me, "I love your shoes!"

I wish I could say the same. All was well until about 2 PM when both my feet began to ache. I had a pair of comfortable heels in my car, but I toughed it out by avoiding walking, which was easy to do since I sat at the booth.

Diana and I planned to go to dinner, so we left the Conference around 3 PM and met up at Rein's Deli in Vernon. (I switched to my comfortable heels before leaving the campus and driving to the deli.)

There is a big contrast between the True Colors Conference and Rein's Deli. Whereas the conference was full of TLGB folks and their allies, Rein's was full of civilians, yet we were treated with respect at both venues. None of the staff or other diners at Rein's seemed to give us special notice. Is it because trans are so commonplace and/or accepted in Connecticut that no one pays them any mind or did we blend in so well with the civilians that no one noticed us? I like to think it was the latter, but it is probably a little bit of both.

During the conference, I was talking with another girl about how lucky we were to be living in Connecticut, where diversity is more accepted as well as legally protected. On the other hand, I have never had much trouble anywhere I've traveled en femme, yet I still appreciate living in the Constitution State.

A funny thing about living in Connecticut... when outsiders learn that you are a Connecticut resident, they often think you are rich and live on a multi-acre estate. That is a false impression promulgated by the mass media, particularly Hollywood films.

Yes, there are rich people in Connecticut, just as there are in any other state, but most Connecticut residents are not rich including me. But I digress.

I had one on-the-spot outreach session during the conference. While I was washing my hands and fixing my makeup alone in the ladies' restroom, a high school aged girl walked in and as she passed by, she greeted me with a loud friendly Fonzie-like,  "Eh."

I was surprised by her greeting and was slow with a comeback, but finally replied with, "Eh… it's Friday!"

We exchanged words about how the day was going and then she asked me how I identified.

I responded, "As a woman."

With that she assumed that I was a post-op transsexual and asked me about my surgery and hormone regimen. I enlightened her that I had no surgery and I never took hormones. She admitted that she had just learned something new. (That was the outreach portion of this encounter.)

She then said that I looked "great" and asked my age.

I replied, "Guess" and she immediately responded with "In your 30s."

I told her my age; she was surprised and I was elated.

But thinking back when I was in high school, I recalled that my accuracy at guessing the ages of adults was poor and I am sure most high school kids are in the same boat.

Back then, I ball-parked ages accordion to my relatives' ages. My parents were in their 40s and my grandparents were in their 60s. So according to me, anyone who was not retired and wrinkled was a contemporary of my parents, that is, around 40, whereas anyone who was retired and wrinkled was a contemporary of my grandparents, that is, around 60.

So, I guess that my elation was justified after all.

True Colors Conference

I attended the True Colors Conference at the University of Connecticut on Friday.

Returning home Friday evening, there were issues with Internet access here and I was unable to post anything about the day.

This morning, I have a million things to do, so I will leave you with this photo and promise to fill in the details about the day later.

The photo was taken by Glenn Koetzner using my point and shoot Canon. Glenn is a pretty famous photographer in the TLGB community around here and I was very happy when he acquiesced to my request to take my photo.

More later.

Bridesmaid

This young femulator was a bridesmaid for a womanless wedding fundraiser at his church.

Visit this page on Tumblr for more photos of the pretty young bridesmaid.

(I wish there were photos of the rest of the wedding party!)

Beneath It All

Circa 1963, my mother wore bras and girdles, so they were my foundation garments of choice when I began femulating. (I really had no choice; Mom wore bras and girdles, so that is what I borrowed when I femulated.)

When I mustered up enough courage to purchase my own foundation garments (in person at Frederick's of Hollywood and JCPenney), I stuck with bras and girdles (like mother, like son). However, since I was more Rubenesque than my mother, I bought longline bras and waist cinchers to supplement the girdles.

That combination of foundations suited me well for a very long time.

Then I discovered Spanx shapewear and its copycats. I packed away the girdles and waist cinchers and switched to a variety of Spanx-like shapewear, typically the Bali and Hanes brand knock-offs because Avon sells them and since I am an Avon rep, I can buy them at a discount.

In addition to losing the heavyweight girdles, I also packed away the longline bras because the Bali and Hanes shapewear permits me to wear regular bras like the cute, sexy bras sold by Victoria's Secret ("Hello, Bombshell").

Occasionally, I strap on my heavy-duty corset-like waist cincher if I think I will need a little extra curvature, but normally, Bali or Hanes and Vicky are all I need.

I'd love to hear what you all are wearing beneath it all. (Does anyone still wear a girdle or has everyone switched to Spanx?)

6.125 inches

Ten days ago, I asked "How high?" was the latest ShoeDazzle offering named "Privy."

ShoeDazzle claimed that the shoe's heel was 5.5 inches, but added "that "measurements are approximate and may vary by size."

I surmised that in my size, the heel would be about 7 inches high because larger sizes require higher heels.

I wrote that "I cannot imagine walking in shoes with a 7-inch heel, but I am tempted to order the shoe just to see how really high it is."

I gave into temptation because in addition to my curiosity about the heel's height, the lime-green color of the shoe was a perfect match to a lime-green / white polka dot dress that I own.

The shoes arrived last night and I measured the heel as soon as I opened the shoe box.

The heel is not quite 7 inches high, but pretty close: 6 and 1/8th inches.

After measuring the heel, I slipped on the shoes and I am happy to report that I am able to walk in shoes with a 6.125-inch heel! 

What’s in Storrs for Me on Friday

On Friday, I will be returning to my alma mater, the University of Connecticut, which is the site of the True Colors Conference this weekend.

The Conference focuses on the needs of LGBTQ youth and their allies and thousands of young people and adults from around the country will be in attendance.

I have conducted workshops in the past at the Conference, but I did not get my act together in time this year, so no workshop for me. However, I will be staffing the booth of the Connecticut Outreach Society (COS) throughout the day (that’s me in the photo at the booth in 2009).

If you are attending the Conference, please stop by the booth and say "Hello."

Five Million!

A few minutes ago, the hit counter passed the 5,000,000 mark here on the old Femulate blog.

Thank you all for your patronage!

Best Wishes,

Stana

Call Me Sissy

According to my recollection, the first negative word ever hurled at me was "sissy."

"Sissy" according to The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, Third Edition is "a boy or man regarded as effeminate."

To illuminate that definition, the dictionary defines "effeminate" as "having qualities or characteristics more often associated with women than men; characterized by weakness and excessive refinement."

Yes - that's me. The dictionary could print an image of me next to the printed words to illustrate the definition.

The thing is that the first time I was called a sissy, I had no idea that I was one. All I knew was that I was "me" and I was not intentionally emulating females.

But the name-calling continued. And then there was bullying.

So I figured something was wrong with me and when things really got bad, I eschewed anything feminine.

After things settled down, I went back to my old ways and was myself again comfortably picking and choosing what I liked from the masculine and feminine aisles in that big department store called "Life."

Older and wiser, I eventually ignored the taunting, learned to embrace my self, and became my own man or should I say "woman."

Actually, I am somewhere in between. Circumstances prevent me from being a woman all the time. Some of the time, I am a feminine man and some of the time, I am a feminine woman, so you can call me "sissy;" it's a good fit.

The Million Dollar Question