Why Would Anyone Want To Be A Woman?

Reading "Why I Decided To Become A Woman" yesterday reminded me of an encounter I had with an old friend last May at the Dayton Hamvention.

At Dayton, I sought out old ham radio friends and acquaintances in order to come out to them.

One friend, who I had known for over 30 years was pleased to see me once he recognized me en femme.

He listened attentively to my story. Then he asked some questions, which I answered.

Finally he said to me, "Why would anyone want to be a woman?"

My jaw dropped. I felt like everything I had said to him had gone in one ear and out the other.

It was not a choice. I didn't decide one day that I needed a change of pace and would become a woman. I didn't decide to become transgender to spice up my life.

Life would be so much easier if I was not transgender... if I was not a woman who found herself in a male body.

Like Joy Ladin wrote, "There’s nothing so bad about being a man... as long as you’re a man.”

I'm certainly not a man. That explains why I feel uncomfortable when en homme, but at ease when en femme. 

And so it goes.  

Why I Decided To Become A Woman

And what’s so bad about being a man?

Good reading!

A Huffington Post excerpt from "Through the Door of Life: A Jewish Journey Between Genders" by Joy Ladin [University of Wisconsin Press, $26.95]

Time Flies

It seems like I just finished my Christmas shopping and here it is, March 5, with less than four weeks to go before the big T event of the year in this part of the world.

On the evening of Saturday, March 31, I will be attending the annual Connecticut Outreach Society (COS) banquet at the Four Points Sheraton in the Meriden, CT with about 75 other trans ladies and their guests.

I bought a new evening gown and pair of shoes for the event. I picked out the song I will perform during the entertainment portion of the banquet. And I mailed in my check to confirm my registration. So, I am all set and look forward to the gala gal affair.

I hope you will join me at the banquet; I guarantee that you will have a great time. For more information and a downloadable registration form, visit the COS website and click on the big red link.

I'd Order A "Pink Lady"

How High?!

Have you noticed how high heels are getting higher?

I am not one to shy away from high heels. Typically, 3 or 4-inch heels adorn my feet.

Last year, I joined ShoeDazzle, which is a book-of-the-month club for shoes. Since I joined, most of their heels have hovered around the 4-inch mark, but as spring approached, I noticed that their heels were getting higher.

On March 1st, I received an e-mail (like I do the first of every month) revealing my ShoeDazzle selections for March. I was taken aback by the heel height of some of the selections, particularly the shoe named "Privy" (see photo) with its 5.5-inch heel.

ShoeDazzle notes that "measurements are approximate and may vary by size." The larger the shoe size, the higher the heel, which means in my size (the largest that ShoeDazzle offers), Privy's heel is probably 7 inches or more!

I cannot imagine walking in shoes with a 7-inch heel, but I am tempted to order the shoe just to see how really high it is.

Shooting Yourself

I understand that some transgirls take photos of themselves when they are en femme!

Really! Did you ever hear of such a thing?*

Seriously, I take photos of myself en femme nearly every time I femulate. I do it for two reasons:

1. To feed this blog. (The blog is hungry for photos and it must be fed.)

2. To see if my femulation is good, bad, or in-between. (Photos are more revealing than a mirror.)

Self photography is an art. I probably discard half the self-photos I take because there is something technically wrong with them (usually related to focus, framing and/or lighting).

Having tinkered with self-photography for over 40 years, I could write forever on the topic, but why re-invent the wheel when somebody already invented it.

Jennine Jacob, founder of the Independent Fashion Bloggers, wrote How to Take Gorgeous Self Portraits. She uses the same cameras as I do, so I can attest to the truth of what she wrote. At the end of her post are links to other related posts that you can provide additional help.

Have Fun!

* Which reminds me of a joke: How many transgirls does it take to change a light bulb? The answer is three. One to climb the ladder to change the light bulb, one to steady the ladder, and one to take photos of the event.

Does it come in his size?

Andrej Pejic Offered Lead Role in French Film

Read all about it here.

The “Other” Man

Yesterday, I wrote about women who are comfortable (to one degree or another) with their men dressing like a woman.

Although it is rare to find a woman who is ok with a femulating partner, it is easy to find women who are ok with other men dressing like women (as long as the femulating men are not "their" men).

I run into this all the time. When I encounter a female stranger and she discovers that I am en femme, in the majority of cases, she is fine with it. Often, she is very interested and even enthusiastic about it. Seldom do I get a negative reaction.

Those who are positive about my femulation say something to the effect that what I am doing is "wonderful." Yes, I have actually heard the word "wonderful" more than once from such enthusiasts.

And I don't look a gift horse in the mouth and ask, "What do you mean by that?"

Instead, I just go with the flow.

I can understand why a woman would not want her man to femulate, but I don't understand why women are ok and even enthusiastic about other men being en femme. Not that there is anything wrong with it, but it's a mystery wrapped in a riddle inside an enigma!

Womanless Gal Ares

Denham Springs (LA) High School "girls."

Bearded heavyweight class in Fredericksburg, Iowa.

"Miss Dawg" contest an unknown Texas high school circa 2008.

Thank you Aunty Marlena for the first two and Uncle Google for the last one.

Couples Dressing Like Girls

This is old news from last August about a celebrity couple who dress like girls.

I was clueless about the "celebrity" of the couple and had to look them up and they still mean nothing to me, but that is not important.

What is important is that the story is an example of a woman who is ok with her man dressing like a woman.

Admittedly, he is not fully femulating and this might have been a one shot visit to the wild side because I cannot find any other photos of the guy in feminine attire. So, go figure.

Anyway, I don’t know many women who are ok with their men dressing like women.

The first time I encountered such a woman was at an IFGE convention I attended a few years ago in Philly. At the opening of the convention, I noticed a couple impeccably dressed in matching skirt suits. He was tall and she was petite and I wondered where they found matching outfits, but throughout the convention, they appeared in new matching outfits each day and each evening.

I was a little jealous. The wife was one in a million and I wish mine was a little bit like her. But I got over it.

Since then, I have encountered other similar couples, that is, women who are comfortable (to one degree or another) with their transwomen partner.

And it's getting better all the time.

In general, the younger generations are more accepting of transgender. It is not a big deal breaker as it is in older generations (like mine).

And so it goes.

Watching Oscar

I am watching the Academy Awards shows tonight and will be posting my trans-fashionista comments here until the end (mine, not necessarily the shows').

19:16 EST: Switching between the red carpet shows on E! and TV Guide Network (TVGN). E! has a better staff than TVGN except for the glaring exception of transgender-bashing Kelly Orbourne. How does someone who dresses like her get off dishing on the way anyone else dresses? I hope her 15 minutes is over soon.

19:22 EST: I much like Rose Byrne's black sequins evening gown.

19:27 EST: I also much like the evening gowns worn by Jennifer Lopez, Stacy Keibler, and Milla Jovovich.

 19:34 EST: Is it just me or was Bridesmaids overrated? If it wasn't for the feces jokes, that film would have been a blip on the radar that would have faded long ago. Personally, I found the feces jokes disgusting and not amusing.

19:41 EST: I also much like Leslie Mann's evening gown.

20:01 EST: What the... I assumed the Awards show would start at 8 PM like it has for the past 45 years! Wrong! It starts at 8:30. At that rate, I may fall asleep before Billy Crystal finishes his opening act.

20:15 EST: Having seen most of the outfits worn by the stars tonight, the outfit I would most like to femulate in is Rose Byrne's black sequins evening gown.

20:23 EST: On the other hand, I loved Midnight in Paris. I watched it for the first time last night and it is right up there with my favorite Woody films, like Annie and Hannah.

20:44 EST: Billy Crystal's opening act was the same time-proven shtick he used for hosting the Oscars in the past.

21:22 EST: The Wizard of Oz focus group was very funny. (Love those flying monkeys!)

21:51 EST: I'm running out of gas --- next commercial and I may call it quits.

21:54 EST: Ben Stiller represents nepotism at its greatest. I think his parents are talented, but Ben... not so much.

22:07 EST: Christopher Plummer wins the Best Supporting Actor award. I will always remember his excellent femulation in The Silent Partner.

22:22 EST: My eyes are getting sleepy.

22:30 EST:  My fave Woody wins for Best Screenplay (for Midnight in Paris)! Hurray! On that positive note, I am going to bed.

Getting Altered

My favorite blog in the guiding-us-to-be-better-women category is Ginger Burr's Enpowering Your Inner Beauty & Personal Fashion. She always has great advice and this week, she touched on a subject that hits home (mine for sure and maybe yours too). Here is the link to the post, "The Myth of Ready-to-Wear" in which Ginger discusses clothing alterations.

By the way, I avoid alterations by never buying anything that needs alterations (if I can help it). If it does not look right on me, I leave it on the rack outside the dressing room.

Online/mail order purchases are a little more problematical. Sending stuff back is a drag and I have had alterations performed on online/mail order purchases to avoid the return process.

If you are in the neighborhood (central Connecticut) and need someone to do alterations, I highly recommend Perretta's Tailor Shop in Wallingford. The tailor does great work and she has no problem working with girls like us.

From the school that brings you Miss Eng'g...

Femulate readers are familiar with the Miss Eng'g (Engineering) womanless beauty pageant at the College of Engineering, University of Philippines-Diliman.

News from the University is that "for the first time in the student council elections history of the University of the Philippines in Diliman, a candidate is running against two fraternity men and a woman to become the first transgender Chairperson of UP Diliman’s University Student Council (USC).

"Speaking before hundreds of supporters at the historical Palma Hall Steps, Gabriel Paolo 'Heart' Diño vowed to bring genuine change in UP Diliman if she’s given the chance to win as USC Chairperson.

"'I came here not only to speak about what changes we want in our University Student Council. I also stand before you to remind that you, yourselves, are the change this university and this nation needs,' Diño said."

Read the rest of the story at Citizen Media Blog Watch.

Beware of the Girl Scouts

(This post originated as an e-mail I received today from Daily Kos. I edited it to conserve words, but I am sure you will get the message.)

There is a new evil spreading throughout our land: the Girl Scouts.

Because the Girl Scouts do not denounce birth control, non-Christians, or the LGBT community, a growing number of wingnuts have decided that the youth organization promotes abortion, paganism and "homosexual lifestyles." Some churches have even begun kicking out Girl Scout troops:

“Several Girl Scout troops in Chantilly, Va., have been banned from meeting at a local Catholic church and a neighboring school.”

The anti-Girl Scout fringe also has at least one elected official on its side: Indiana Republican State Rep. Bob Morris refused to vote for a resolution celebrating the 100th anniversary of the Girl Scouts because after "talking to some well-informed constituents" and conducting "a small amount of web research," he determined that the Girl Scouts are a "tactical arm of Planned Parenthood" that encourages "homosexual lifestyles."

Don't let social conservatives smear the Girl Scouts for promoting tolerance, diversity and responsible education. Click here to add your name to the petition supporting the Girl Scouts.

Thanks for all you do,
Chris Bowers, Daily Kos

Transwomen in Revolt

Sometimes this blog almost writes itself; the words seem to appear on the tips of my fingers. Other times, you readers send me so much stuff (thank-you), that you practically write the blog for me!

This is one of those times.

Karen sent me a link to 10 gorgeous women (who were born men).

"Students at a leading university have been told not to dress in drag in case it offends transgender people" from The Telegraph via Gwen.

Also from The Telegraph via Gwen is this story: "Five-year-old boy lives as girl in youngest case of Gender Identity Disorder."

Gwen also sent a link to this blog post from The Independent: "Blurring the gender line: When the frock just won’t fit" by LaJohn Joseph.

LaJohn mentions Jackie Curtis in that post, which reminds me that coincidentally, I just ordered Women in Revolt from Blockbuster. The film stars "Warhol's infamous trinity of queens," that is, Jackie Curtis, Candy Darling, and Holly Woodlawn.

According to IMDB, "This film is a satire of the women's liberation movement, staring a trio of female impersonators. Candy is an aloof heiress caught in an unhappy relationship with her brother. Jackie is a virginal intellectual who believes women are oppressed in contemporary American society. And Holly is a nymphomaniac who has come to loathe men, despite her attraction to them. Together, they join a militant feminist group, P.I.G. (Politically Involved Girls), but their newfound liberation doesn't make them any happier."

I've seen many Warhol films, but somehow I missed this one.

Starla's College Stars

For months, Starla has been searching online for photos of femulations in school yearbooks. Her efforts have uncovered loads of high school femulations, but recently she found photos of college "girls" in old yearbooks from institutes of higher learning (and higher femulation). I am happy to present her best discoveries (so far) here.

Mount Olive College, TN, 1988

Stetson University, Deland, FL, 1984

Stetson University, Deland, FL, 1986

Stetson University, Deland, FL, 1986

Stetson University, Deland, FL, 1986

Stetson University, Deland, FL, 1986

William Carey College, Hattiesburg, MS, 1982

Grayson Perry Interviewed

Artist Grayson Perry is one of my heroes because he does not hide being trans. Rather, he is completely open about the fact that he has a feminine persona (named "Claire').

The Art Newspaper interviewed Grayson on Friday. Here is the link.

Thank you, Anonymous, for alerting me about the interview

The Opposite Sex

When I do outreach, one question that often comes up is which sex is attractive to me.

Since I look, walk, talk, and behave exactly like a woman, the expected answer is "men," so when I say I prefer women, the audience is thrown for a loop .

Your mileage may vary, but most of the transfolks I do outreach with are attracted to their same gender, that is, the male-to-female transfolks prefer women and the female-to-male transfolks prefer men. When they changed genders, their sexuality did not change; they were still attracted to the sex they preferred before transition (which affirms the proposition that sex and gender are separate issues).

On the other hand, I know transfolks who not only change genders, but also change teams after they transition, that is, transwomen who preferred men and transmen who preferred women.

But most of the transfolks I know personally do not change teams (again, your mileage may vary). I admit that I know more crossdressers than transsexuals, still, most of the transsexuals I know personally did not change teams either.

Getting back to me (isn't it always about "me"): I prefer women... always did. Not that there is anything wrong with it, but sex with a man never interested me.

However, I have never had sex when en femme. My spouse will have nothing to do with me when I am en femme and since I am committed to my marriage, I have never sought sex outside of it.

But don't think it has not crossed my mind.

Sex en femme with a woman is very attractive, but that is a moot point because I have never encountered a woman who seemed "that" interested in my femulated self.

On the other hand, sex en femme with a man would be a piece of cake. I have encountered numerous men interested in my femulated self. Some were "tran admirers," some were not. In either case, I rejected their advances because I was a good girl, faithful to my spouse to the end.

But since my spouse will have nothing to do with my femulated self, does that give me license to seek sex outside the marriage when I am en femme? Should I give into the advances of those guys who desire me? And if I did give in, should I have sex like other woman (if you know what I mean)?

Hollywood En Femme

Sascha Brastoff

Being a liberal, I read Salon every day.

Being a film fan, I read "My Tryst with Spencer Tracy" on Salon the other day.

The Spencer Tracy article was an excerpt "from Scotty Bowers' controversial new memoir, Full Service (written with the help of Lionel Friedberg), about working as a sexual fixer in Hollywood."

The article revealed that Tracy was bisexual and that his not-so-secret love affair with actress Katherine Hepburn was a publicity stunt to cover up Tracy's bisexuality and Hepburn's lesbianism.

After reading another excerpt on Amazon, I bought the Kindle version of the book and began reading it with the Mac Kindle reader application.

It is a page-turner and I have not been able to put the book down. If you are a film fan, especially films of the 1940s, 1950s, and 1960s, I think you will find the book very interesting. It is a no-holds-barred exposé of the sexual exploits of the Hollywood stars and celebrities of that era.

Naturally, I was curious if there were any trans stars mentioned in the book.

There was not one word about Jeff Chandler or Dan Dailey, but the book did mention that FBI director J. Edgar Hoover "got dressed up in drag" during a visit to Hollywood" and a "lot of fun was had by all…"

The book also mentions the crossdressing exploits of costume designer Sascha Brastoff. "When Sascha was in drag he looked, walked, talked, and behaved exactly like a woman. You simply could not tell that he was a man."

And so it goes.