Wondering on Woden's Day

Claire Delilah Jane has an interesting post on her blog about "compulsive crossdressing."

Janie's thoughts were provoked by something she read elsewhere proposing that crossdressing was a compulsion on par with pornography.

I recommend reading what Janie has written and then read what moved her to write what she did.

***

After all is said and done, if crossdressing is a compulsion, what is its root cause?

I will admit that I am probably "compulsive" about crossing genders. It is always on my mind and has always been on my mind as long as I can remember.

From what I can tell, I am the same person en homme or en femme. I don't intentionally act butch when en homme and I don't intentionally act feminine when en femme. I am what I am either en homme or en femme. But when I am en femme, I feel comfortable, natural, and happy.

So, I guess I am compulsive about being happy, feeling natural, and being comfortable in my own skin.

Is there anything wrong with that?

***

On a lighter note, Femulate reader Shannon made me smile by e-mailing a link to Sunday's installment of Sherman's Lagoon.

I hope it will make you smile, too.

Valentine’s Day Surprise

My daughter is my biggest supporter and for Valentine’s Day, she asked me to pick out any pair of shoes that I want from the JustFabulous online collection of woman’s shoes.

Like father, like daughter --- we both love high heels and her heel collection is catching up with mine!

I wish all my readers a Very Femulating Valentine’s Day!

A Single Girl's Best Friend

On Friday, the Post Office delivered my latest dress purchase from Ideeli. I tried it on and it was a perfect fit, but I had a hard time pulling up the zipper in the back of the dress.

The zipper’s pull tab was tiny and hard to grip and no one else was home to help me.

I had this problem in the past with another dress and rigged up a “zipper helper” to do the job. So it was time to get out my zipper helper again.

My zipper helper is simply a piece of string and a big safety pin.

I attach the safety pin to the zipper pull tab, loop the string through the closed safety pin, and pull the thread up to close the zipper.

I see now that they sell zipper helpers online and here are instructions to build your own.

So, keep on zippin'.

Valentine's Day Shopping

Miss Lutz

For years, a continuing sub-sub-plot on NBC’s 30 Rock is that J. D. Lutz (played by John Lutz) is a tran. Last night's episode moved this up another notch.

Lutz is lonely on Valentine's Day. He receives advice on how to pick up women from the characters played by Tracy Morgan and Judah Friedlander.

One ridiculous strategy they offer is to go to a woman's clothing store, change the label on a size 6 swimsuit to a size 12, wait for a woman to try on the mislabeled swimsuit, and when the unsuspecting woman becomes upset because the size 12 swimsuit does not fit, Lutz should approach the woman and say, "Hey, Baby, what's wrong?" The woman will be so appreciative of his sympathy that she will be his.

Desperate Lutz follows this advice, goes to a woman's clothing store, and sticks a size 6 label over a size 12 label on a swimsuit. Problem is that a saleswoman sees him at the swimsuit rack and asks if he needs assistance.

The saleswoman's asks, "Are you shopping for someone? Do you know what size she is?"

Lutz is so nervous, he is unable to answer her questions.
She misinterprets Lutz nervousness and with a knowing smile indicates that she understands. "It's OK, I have an uncle who uses my discount here all the time."

In the next scene, Lutz is trying on a one-piece woman's swimsuit and exclaims, "I'll take it."

You can view the episode here; the swimsuit scene starts at the 29-minute mark.

Five on the Sixth

As I wrote Monday, things have been very hectic around here lately; so much so that I missed Femulate's fifth birthday, which was Monday.

So belated Happy Birthday to the blog!

Betty Luke

I love the ABC situation comedy Modern Family. The writing is smart and the show is hilarious. And last night's episode had a transgender subplot.

At about 15 minutes into the episode, teenage sisters Haley and Alex are bickering, which is their usual wont. Younger brother Luke intervenes by saying that his big sisters should not fight.

The sisters stop fighting, Luke leaves the room, and one sister remarks to the other that their little sister, Betty Luke, has not been around in awhile.

"I'll get the bra and tennis balls and you get the lipstick," says Haley.

The scene ends with Luke complaining loudly.

The episode continues with other sub-plots, but at the very end of the show as the credits roll, there is a commotion in the living room. Parents Claire and Phil enter the living room to see what was the matter.

The sisters are flittering around brother Luke, who is now en femme.

Claire complains, "You girls are in trouble… for not cleaning up the mess you made."

The sisters leave the room and Claire and Phil approach Luke with a camera in hand to take photos of Betty Luke. Claire mentions that there was something wrong with the previous Betty Luke photos.
Phil says, "Betty Luke, it's nice to see you again."

The above quotations are from memory, so don't hold me to them, but they are a good approximation of what was said. The episode ("Me? Jealous?") is now viewable here.

A CD B&B

When I posted an image labeled "Casa Susanna" in The Femulated slot on Tuesday, Linda e-mailed me asking about the story behind the image.

Casa Susanna was basically a bed and breakfast for crossdressers located in the Catskills of New York State during the 1960s.

It was operated by a husband and wife, he, a crossdresser named Susanna and she, a famed wig maker from NYC named Marie. Before Casa Susanna, they ran a similar establishment, the Chevalier D’Eon Resort, which was also in the Catskills.

Chevalier D’Eon Resort was the site of the adventures of Darrell Raynor, as documented in his 1968 book A Year Among the Girls.

Raynor’s book was the first book I ever encountered on the subject of crossdressing. At the time, I was a teenager and it took three trips to the store before I got up the nerve to buy the book. I will never forget the smirk on the face of the saleswoman, who rang up my purchase. I wanted to hide under a rock, but instead I took the book home and read it from cover-to-cover that night.

The book was such an eye-opener for a young tran like me. Back then there was next to no information available on the subject unless you frequented the right (wrong) bookstores or received mail wrapped in plain brown paper. So, I was amazed that there were adults dressing up and socializing as women!

Raynor never mentioned the name of the CD B&B he wrote about, nor did he mention exactly where it was located, but he gave a few clues and my guess was that it was located in the Poconos of Pennsylvania. I was very surprised to learn decades later that the CD B&B was just a short trek across the state line smack dab in an area where I worked for a six-week stint way back when.

During my six-week stay in Upstate New York, I visited the local lingerie shop and was fitted for a classic all-in-one by the older woman who ran the shop and knew her business. After the fitting, she was proud of her handiwork and commented that I had a great figure.

I was running a one-person quick-print shop and next door was a dress shop also run by an older woman. After six weeks, we became friendly, but I did not take advantage of our friendship and ask to try on her wares because I was worried that the guy I worked for might find out.

But I digress.

I filed Raynor's CD B&B in the back of mind. I came back to mind in 2005, when the book titled Casa Susanna came to be.

According to Amazon, "Some time ago, while at a New York flea market, inveterate collectors Michael Hurst and Robert Swope discovered a large body of snapshots: album after aged album of well-preserved images, taken roughly between the mid-50s and mid-60s, depicting a group of cross-dressers united around a place called Casa Susanna, a rather large and charmingly banal Victorian-style house in small-town New Jersey [sic]. The inhabitants, visitors, guests, and hosts used it as a weekend headquarters for a regular 'girl’s life.' Someone—probably 'Susanna' or the matriarch—nailed a wonder board on a tree proclaiming it 'Casa Susanna,' and thus a Queendom was born.

"Through these wonderfully intimate shots—perhaps never intended to see the light of day outside the sanctum of the 'house'—Susanna and her gorgeous friends styled era-specific fashion shows and dress-up Christmas and tea parties. As gloriously primped as these documentary snaps are, it is in the more private and intimate life at Casa Susanna, where the girls sweep the front porch, cook, knit, play Scrabble, relax at the nearby lake and, of course, dress for the occasion, that the stunning insight to a very private club becomes nothing less than brilliant and awe inspiring in its pre-glam, pre-drag-pose ordinariness and nascent preening and posturing in new identities. It is not glamour for the stage but for each other, like other women who dress up to spend time with friends, flaunting their own sense of style. There is an evident pleasure of being here, at Casa Susanna, that is a liberation, a simplification of the conflicts inherent in a double life."

For more information about Casa Susanna, I invite you to read Zagria's blog post on the topic, which was the source of some of the history mentioned above.

2007 Miss Eng'g Womanless Pageant

2007 IE Club's
Miss Eng'g Contestant

Femulate proudly presents the excellent femulations from the 2007 edition of the The Miss Eng'g (Engineering) womanless beauty pageant at the College of Engineering, University of Philippines-Diliman.

Again, thank you, Oak for the links.

Candidates (Click on the department name in the left column.)

Preliminaries 1

Preliminaries 2

Preliminaries 3

Preliminaries 4

Pageant 1

Pageant 2

Pageant 3

Pageant 4

Femulate Reviewed

This old blog gets reviewed by this new blog.

Weekend Washouts

My blogging this weekend and last was limited.

A relative took up permanent residence in a convalescent home and my wife and I are her only living responsible relatives. (There are two other living relatives, but one is residing in the same convalescent home and the other is totally irresponsible.) As a result, my wife and I spent the last two weekends emptying my relative's apartment.

When we weren't dealing with that, we were catching up with other matters that were neglected while we were dealing with that. As a result, the blog took a hit the past two weekends in case you didn't notice.

I promise to return to our normally scheduled programming ASAP. Meanwhile, I leave you with this item from Daily Makeover: 10 Ways to Look Instantly Sexier!

Overdressing vs. Passing

Dear Stana.

Even though I pass very well and I get flattering comments from both guys and other T-girls, this is only when I am at a T-girl club. Outside of the club, I always 'know' that I am not a natural female and this reflects in my looking nervous; in turn, the lack of confidence then makes me more easy to read!
 
I also go for a glamorous look, which once again, is great at a T-girl club, but natural girls don't wear heels and a glamorous dress to buy a quart of milk. But without the glamorous additions, I feel less female and more drab and therefore, more easily read. I also hate looking dowdy as a girl as the fun (to me anyway) is dressing up and looking 'sparkly' and glamorous. Else wise, I might as well stay a boy!
 
I know this is all due to confidence, but it would be lovely to just be Emma and go out to lunch without all the worry. If you have any ideas to reduce the anxiety then that would be great.

Regards,

Emma

***

Dear Emma,

Been there, done that, and still doing that!

I don't dress glamouously unless the occasion calls for it, but I do dress very nicely (heels, dress, jewelry, makeup, etc.) when I go out. As a result, I sometimes am overdressed for the venue in which I find myself.

Like you, I worried that overdressing was a dead giveaway that I was a tran. So I avoided going places when I was overdressed, which in effect, kept me out of a lot of places.

Six years ago, I was dressed to the nines (very sparkly) to attend a Christmas party. On the way to the party, I realized that I forgot to buy munchies for the party (all the attendees were supposed to bring some food or drink to share).

There was a Stop & Shop in the neighborhood where I could buy something. I was way overdressed for Stop & Shop, but I convinced myself that I had a perfect excuse for being overdressed. Also, I recalled in the past seeing other overdressed women in Stop & Shop while (I assumed) they were on their way to or from a wedding or graduation or some other dressy event (or maybe they were trans, too).

Although my confidence was shaky, my mind was set and I went into Stop & Shop, picked out some baked goods, paid the cashier, and was out the door without an issue. No one paid any special attention to me, no one pointed at me, no one laughed at me. It was all so anti-climactic.

That episode did wonders for my confidence. After that I stopped worrying about being "overdressed." I go where I please and if I think about it, I just tell myself that I am an appropriately dressed office girl running an errand for the boss or somesuch excuse.

You say, "you pass very well," so that just makes it easier.

So just do it --- after a few forays out in the real world, you will be amazed how confident and comfortable you will feel.

You go, girl!

Stana

***
Need advice concerning femulation, then e-mail me and I will happily give you my opinion on the matter. My e-mail address is stana-stana at sbcglobal.net.

Thought for the Day

In my next life, I want to come back as Blake Lively’s only child.

Do You Wear Panties Under Shapewear?

Dear Stana,

You have a fabulous figure and I recall you mentioning in the past that you wear shapewear to achieve those curves.

Recently, I have been thinking about adding shapewear to my femulation repertoire and I wonder "Do you wear panties under your shapewear?"

Love Your Blog,

Daisy

***

Dear Daisy,

I wear panties under my shapewear, although the shapewear manufacturers' claim that panties are not necessary "because they all make shapewear with a cotton crotch or an accessible crotch."

That being said, I wear panties to help manage my boy parts down under. I tuck and the panties help keep the tucked parts in place.

I have had less success maintaining tucks wearing shapewear without panties, although your mileage may vary.

I hope that helps!

Stana

***

Need advice concerning femulation, then e-mail me and I will happily give you my opinion on the matter. My e-mail address is stana-stana at sbcglobal.net.

Riff Raff's Big 7-0

Let me say up front that I am not a fan of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. I watched the film once on television long ago and found that it was not my cup of tea (pun intended).

As a result, when Zagria featured its creator on her blog, I did not pay much attention to it. "Richard O'Brien --- who's he?" I thought to myself and moved on.

As a result, I missed the fact that the creator of The Rocky Horror Picture Show is transgender. “There is a continuum between male and female. Some are hard-wired one way or another, I’m in between,” O’Brien revealed in an interview.

Also, I did not realize that O’Brien had a role in the Rocky Horror film.

Mea culpa.

Anyway, Richard O'Brien will be celebrating his 70th birthday next month and Penny, one of my readers in New Zealand, kindly informed me that there will be a big birthday bash for Richard in Hamilton, NZ on March 17 and attendees are encouraged to "dress delightfully."

Why Hamilton?

According to Penny, “Richard O'Brien spent his formative years in Hamilton,and says he based The Rocky Horror Picture Show  on the movies he watched in one of our old cinemas when he was a impressionable teenager.”

Here is a link to a pertinent webpage and Facebook page.

I wish I could attend, but it is a bit of a drive.

Trans Femme Invisibility

Alexis Meade (Rebecca Romijn) of TV's Ugly Betty

Megan Evans wrote on The Huffington Post about suffering from "femme invisibility."

Megan is a "femme," which is a term for a feminine-looking lesbian.

If you are a "femme," the world assumes you are heterosexual because you do not match the stereotypical image of a lesbian, i.e., "short hair, no makeup, wearing baggy jeans and a t-shirt." The problem is two-pronged: it is difficult to attract other lesbians and you have to ward off heterosexual males because other lesbians and heterosexual males assume you are heterosexual.

The crux of her post is how to overcome femme invisibility?

She suggests that some relief has come from the fact that "the representation of lesbians has risen on TV. In particular, there has been an influx of femme lesbian characters." Additional relief has come from femme celebrities, who have come out as gay like "Portia de Rossi, up-and-coming actress Amber Heard, Miss California hopeful Mollie Thomas, and country singer Chely Wright."

Also, she launched a Femme Visibility campaign on her "blog, What Wegan Did Next, with the simple plan of inviting femme lesbians to send in their photos and together take a step toward shattering stereotypes and pulling off our invisibility cloak."

After reading Megan's post, I realized that femme lesbian transwoman also suffer from "femme invisibility." We are unable to attract other lesbians and we have to ward off heterosexual males because other lesbians and heterosexual males assume we are heterosexual.

If you are a happily married femme transwoman (like I am), the inability to attract other lesbians is a good thing, but we still have to deal with heterosexual males who are on the make.

Television is not much help. TV transwomen come in two flavors: the men in dresses (à la Work It) and the drag queens (à la Ru Paul's Drag Race). The handful of trans femmes on TV have been so short-lived (the average trans femme character lasts one episode of a TV show) that they have not made much of an impact on the public's image of a transwoman. They still think we are either men in dresses or drag queens.

I don't have a solution. More femme transwomen characters on TV and in film might help. And more femme transwomen coming out as lesbians might help, too, but who knows?

We have enough trouble coming out as transwomen; coming out as lesbian transwomen might be pushing the envelope too much too soon. Maybe one step at a time is the way to go; first step: gender, second step: sexuality.  

By the way, when a guy comes on to me, I usually manage to dissuade him off by pointing at my wedding ring.

2006 Miss Eng'g Womanless Pageant

Lots of links and photos for the 2006 edition of the pageant:

Candidates (1)

Candidates (2)

Candidates (3) 

Preliminaries (1) 

Preliminaries (2) 

Preliminaries (3)  

Preliminaries (4) 

Pageant (1) 

Pageant (2)

Again, our thanks go out to Femulate reader Oak for the links.

'Tis the Season (More or Less)

Me at banquet, 2004

Around these parts, all the T-girls start making plans to attend the T-gal gala event of the year: the annual banquet of the Connecticut Outreach Society (COS).

Two months from now (more or less), on March 31, yours truly will be tripping the light fantastic at the Four Points Sheraton in the "Silver City," Meriden, CT with about 75 other ladies of the trans persuasion.

Between the usual dinner and dancing, there will be an awards presentation and stand-up comedian Tammy TwoTone will perform.

I always have a great time attending the banquet and I am sure that this year will be no different and maybe even better!

For more information and a downloadable registration form, visit the COS website and click on the big red link.

Tea for T

After my shopping spree on Wednesday, I met the girls (Angela, Diana, Maryann, and Robin) for afternoon tea at a Tea Roses Tea Room in downtown Cromwell.

I have never been in a tea room in my life and I am not much of a tea drinker, but I looked forward to the experience.

It was a very feminine adventure. All of the customers and all of the staff were female and the room was beautifully appointed in a most feminine manner. You can get a glimpse of the room in the accompanying photo as well as in the photos on the tea room's website.

It was also very relaxing; we spent two hours doing our afternoon tea. Each of us had an individual large pot of tea (I had "Cheeky Peach"), and we had munchies to eat including delicious scones, delicate tea sandwiches, and yummy mini-desserts.

I arrived on an empty stomach and when I looked at the spread of food, I had my doubts that my appetite would be sated, but it was.

I had a very enjoyable time and I would love to do it again.

***

Wednesday was another day of affirmation of my womanhood.

When I parked my car at the mall at the start of the day, I had that usual moment of hesitation. But after a minute or two, I gathered myself emotionally, swung open the car door, exited the car, and walked to the mall entrance. Listening to my high heels clicking on the pavement affirmed what I was doing and there was no stopping me.

Everyone treated me respectfully. I'll never know if they read me or not, but no one indicated that they did and no one disrespected me.

I smiled at other women passing by in the mall and always returned the smile and sometimes they initiated the exchange of smiles.

I noticed one woman checking out my bootines and another spent an inordinate amount of time checking me out while she browsed the racks near me at Macy's. When I caught her eye, I smiled and that seemed to disarm her --- she smiled back and stopped checking me out.

It was wonderful and I am already planning my next time out en femme.

It is Mine

This is a photo of the evening gown I bought today for $55 ($144 off list price)

"Bead detail along the round neckline frames this black Alex Evenings mesh gown with elegant sophistication. A criss-cross ruched empire waist softens the fit and elongates the look."

Isn't it beautiful? I can't wait to wear it!