Valentine's Day Shopping

Miss Lutz

For years, a continuing sub-sub-plot on NBC’s 30 Rock is that J. D. Lutz (played by John Lutz) is a tran. Last night's episode moved this up another notch.

Lutz is lonely on Valentine's Day. He receives advice on how to pick up women from the characters played by Tracy Morgan and Judah Friedlander.

One ridiculous strategy they offer is to go to a woman's clothing store, change the label on a size 6 swimsuit to a size 12, wait for a woman to try on the mislabeled swimsuit, and when the unsuspecting woman becomes upset because the size 12 swimsuit does not fit, Lutz should approach the woman and say, "Hey, Baby, what's wrong?" The woman will be so appreciative of his sympathy that she will be his.

Desperate Lutz follows this advice, goes to a woman's clothing store, and sticks a size 6 label over a size 12 label on a swimsuit. Problem is that a saleswoman sees him at the swimsuit rack and asks if he needs assistance.

The saleswoman's asks, "Are you shopping for someone? Do you know what size she is?"

Lutz is so nervous, he is unable to answer her questions.
She misinterprets Lutz nervousness and with a knowing smile indicates that she understands. "It's OK, I have an uncle who uses my discount here all the time."

In the next scene, Lutz is trying on a one-piece woman's swimsuit and exclaims, "I'll take it."

You can view the episode here; the swimsuit scene starts at the 29-minute mark.

Five on the Sixth

As I wrote Monday, things have been very hectic around here lately; so much so that I missed Femulate's fifth birthday, which was Monday.

So belated Happy Birthday to the blog!

Betty Luke

I love the ABC situation comedy Modern Family. The writing is smart and the show is hilarious. And last night's episode had a transgender subplot.

At about 15 minutes into the episode, teenage sisters Haley and Alex are bickering, which is their usual wont. Younger brother Luke intervenes by saying that his big sisters should not fight.

The sisters stop fighting, Luke leaves the room, and one sister remarks to the other that their little sister, Betty Luke, has not been around in awhile.

"I'll get the bra and tennis balls and you get the lipstick," says Haley.

The scene ends with Luke complaining loudly.

The episode continues with other sub-plots, but at the very end of the show as the credits roll, there is a commotion in the living room. Parents Claire and Phil enter the living room to see what was the matter.

The sisters are flittering around brother Luke, who is now en femme.

Claire complains, "You girls are in trouble… for not cleaning up the mess you made."

The sisters leave the room and Claire and Phil approach Luke with a camera in hand to take photos of Betty Luke. Claire mentions that there was something wrong with the previous Betty Luke photos.
Phil says, "Betty Luke, it's nice to see you again."

The above quotations are from memory, so don't hold me to them, but they are a good approximation of what was said. The episode ("Me? Jealous?") is now viewable here.

A CD B&B

When I posted an image labeled "Casa Susanna" in The Femulated slot on Tuesday, Linda e-mailed me asking about the story behind the image.

Casa Susanna was basically a bed and breakfast for crossdressers located in the Catskills of New York State during the 1960s.

It was operated by a husband and wife, he, a crossdresser named Susanna and she, a famed wig maker from NYC named Marie. Before Casa Susanna, they ran a similar establishment, the Chevalier D’Eon Resort, which was also in the Catskills.

Chevalier D’Eon Resort was the site of the adventures of Darrell Raynor, as documented in his 1968 book A Year Among the Girls.

Raynor’s book was the first book I ever encountered on the subject of crossdressing. At the time, I was a teenager and it took three trips to the store before I got up the nerve to buy the book. I will never forget the smirk on the face of the saleswoman, who rang up my purchase. I wanted to hide under a rock, but instead I took the book home and read it from cover-to-cover that night.

The book was such an eye-opener for a young tran like me. Back then there was next to no information available on the subject unless you frequented the right (wrong) bookstores or received mail wrapped in plain brown paper. So, I was amazed that there were adults dressing up and socializing as women!

Raynor never mentioned the name of the CD B&B he wrote about, nor did he mention exactly where it was located, but he gave a few clues and my guess was that it was located in the Poconos of Pennsylvania. I was very surprised to learn decades later that the CD B&B was just a short trek across the state line smack dab in an area where I worked for a six-week stint way back when.

During my six-week stay in Upstate New York, I visited the local lingerie shop and was fitted for a classic all-in-one by the older woman who ran the shop and knew her business. After the fitting, she was proud of her handiwork and commented that I had a great figure.

I was running a one-person quick-print shop and next door was a dress shop also run by an older woman. After six weeks, we became friendly, but I did not take advantage of our friendship and ask to try on her wares because I was worried that the guy I worked for might find out.

But I digress.

I filed Raynor's CD B&B in the back of mind. I came back to mind in 2005, when the book titled Casa Susanna came to be.

According to Amazon, "Some time ago, while at a New York flea market, inveterate collectors Michael Hurst and Robert Swope discovered a large body of snapshots: album after aged album of well-preserved images, taken roughly between the mid-50s and mid-60s, depicting a group of cross-dressers united around a place called Casa Susanna, a rather large and charmingly banal Victorian-style house in small-town New Jersey [sic]. The inhabitants, visitors, guests, and hosts used it as a weekend headquarters for a regular 'girl’s life.' Someone—probably 'Susanna' or the matriarch—nailed a wonder board on a tree proclaiming it 'Casa Susanna,' and thus a Queendom was born.

"Through these wonderfully intimate shots—perhaps never intended to see the light of day outside the sanctum of the 'house'—Susanna and her gorgeous friends styled era-specific fashion shows and dress-up Christmas and tea parties. As gloriously primped as these documentary snaps are, it is in the more private and intimate life at Casa Susanna, where the girls sweep the front porch, cook, knit, play Scrabble, relax at the nearby lake and, of course, dress for the occasion, that the stunning insight to a very private club becomes nothing less than brilliant and awe inspiring in its pre-glam, pre-drag-pose ordinariness and nascent preening and posturing in new identities. It is not glamour for the stage but for each other, like other women who dress up to spend time with friends, flaunting their own sense of style. There is an evident pleasure of being here, at Casa Susanna, that is a liberation, a simplification of the conflicts inherent in a double life."

For more information about Casa Susanna, I invite you to read Zagria's blog post on the topic, which was the source of some of the history mentioned above.

2007 Miss Eng'g Womanless Pageant

2007 IE Club's
Miss Eng'g Contestant

Femulate proudly presents the excellent femulations from the 2007 edition of the The Miss Eng'g (Engineering) womanless beauty pageant at the College of Engineering, University of Philippines-Diliman.

Again, thank you, Oak for the links.

Candidates (Click on the department name in the left column.)

Preliminaries 1

Preliminaries 2

Preliminaries 3

Preliminaries 4

Pageant 1

Pageant 2

Pageant 3

Pageant 4

Femulate Reviewed

This old blog gets reviewed by this new blog.

Weekend Washouts

My blogging this weekend and last was limited.

A relative took up permanent residence in a convalescent home and my wife and I are her only living responsible relatives. (There are two other living relatives, but one is residing in the same convalescent home and the other is totally irresponsible.) As a result, my wife and I spent the last two weekends emptying my relative's apartment.

When we weren't dealing with that, we were catching up with other matters that were neglected while we were dealing with that. As a result, the blog took a hit the past two weekends in case you didn't notice.

I promise to return to our normally scheduled programming ASAP. Meanwhile, I leave you with this item from Daily Makeover: 10 Ways to Look Instantly Sexier!

Overdressing vs. Passing

Dear Stana.

Even though I pass very well and I get flattering comments from both guys and other T-girls, this is only when I am at a T-girl club. Outside of the club, I always 'know' that I am not a natural female and this reflects in my looking nervous; in turn, the lack of confidence then makes me more easy to read!
 
I also go for a glamorous look, which once again, is great at a T-girl club, but natural girls don't wear heels and a glamorous dress to buy a quart of milk. But without the glamorous additions, I feel less female and more drab and therefore, more easily read. I also hate looking dowdy as a girl as the fun (to me anyway) is dressing up and looking 'sparkly' and glamorous. Else wise, I might as well stay a boy!
 
I know this is all due to confidence, but it would be lovely to just be Emma and go out to lunch without all the worry. If you have any ideas to reduce the anxiety then that would be great.

Regards,

Emma

***

Dear Emma,

Been there, done that, and still doing that!

I don't dress glamouously unless the occasion calls for it, but I do dress very nicely (heels, dress, jewelry, makeup, etc.) when I go out. As a result, I sometimes am overdressed for the venue in which I find myself.

Like you, I worried that overdressing was a dead giveaway that I was a tran. So I avoided going places when I was overdressed, which in effect, kept me out of a lot of places.

Six years ago, I was dressed to the nines (very sparkly) to attend a Christmas party. On the way to the party, I realized that I forgot to buy munchies for the party (all the attendees were supposed to bring some food or drink to share).

There was a Stop & Shop in the neighborhood where I could buy something. I was way overdressed for Stop & Shop, but I convinced myself that I had a perfect excuse for being overdressed. Also, I recalled in the past seeing other overdressed women in Stop & Shop while (I assumed) they were on their way to or from a wedding or graduation or some other dressy event (or maybe they were trans, too).

Although my confidence was shaky, my mind was set and I went into Stop & Shop, picked out some baked goods, paid the cashier, and was out the door without an issue. No one paid any special attention to me, no one pointed at me, no one laughed at me. It was all so anti-climactic.

That episode did wonders for my confidence. After that I stopped worrying about being "overdressed." I go where I please and if I think about it, I just tell myself that I am an appropriately dressed office girl running an errand for the boss or somesuch excuse.

You say, "you pass very well," so that just makes it easier.

So just do it --- after a few forays out in the real world, you will be amazed how confident and comfortable you will feel.

You go, girl!

Stana

***
Need advice concerning femulation, then e-mail me and I will happily give you my opinion on the matter. My e-mail address is stana-stana at sbcglobal.net.

Thought for the Day

In my next life, I want to come back as Blake Lively’s only child.

Do You Wear Panties Under Shapewear?

Dear Stana,

You have a fabulous figure and I recall you mentioning in the past that you wear shapewear to achieve those curves.

Recently, I have been thinking about adding shapewear to my femulation repertoire and I wonder "Do you wear panties under your shapewear?"

Love Your Blog,

Daisy

***

Dear Daisy,

I wear panties under my shapewear, although the shapewear manufacturers' claim that panties are not necessary "because they all make shapewear with a cotton crotch or an accessible crotch."

That being said, I wear panties to help manage my boy parts down under. I tuck and the panties help keep the tucked parts in place.

I have had less success maintaining tucks wearing shapewear without panties, although your mileage may vary.

I hope that helps!

Stana

***

Need advice concerning femulation, then e-mail me and I will happily give you my opinion on the matter. My e-mail address is stana-stana at sbcglobal.net.

Riff Raff's Big 7-0

Let me say up front that I am not a fan of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. I watched the film once on television long ago and found that it was not my cup of tea (pun intended).

As a result, when Zagria featured its creator on her blog, I did not pay much attention to it. "Richard O'Brien --- who's he?" I thought to myself and moved on.

As a result, I missed the fact that the creator of The Rocky Horror Picture Show is transgender. “There is a continuum between male and female. Some are hard-wired one way or another, I’m in between,” O’Brien revealed in an interview.

Also, I did not realize that O’Brien had a role in the Rocky Horror film.

Mea culpa.

Anyway, Richard O'Brien will be celebrating his 70th birthday next month and Penny, one of my readers in New Zealand, kindly informed me that there will be a big birthday bash for Richard in Hamilton, NZ on March 17 and attendees are encouraged to "dress delightfully."

Why Hamilton?

According to Penny, “Richard O'Brien spent his formative years in Hamilton,and says he based The Rocky Horror Picture Show  on the movies he watched in one of our old cinemas when he was a impressionable teenager.”

Here is a link to a pertinent webpage and Facebook page.

I wish I could attend, but it is a bit of a drive.

Trans Femme Invisibility

Alexis Meade (Rebecca Romijn) of TV's Ugly Betty

Megan Evans wrote on The Huffington Post about suffering from "femme invisibility."

Megan is a "femme," which is a term for a feminine-looking lesbian.

If you are a "femme," the world assumes you are heterosexual because you do not match the stereotypical image of a lesbian, i.e., "short hair, no makeup, wearing baggy jeans and a t-shirt." The problem is two-pronged: it is difficult to attract other lesbians and you have to ward off heterosexual males because other lesbians and heterosexual males assume you are heterosexual.

The crux of her post is how to overcome femme invisibility?

She suggests that some relief has come from the fact that "the representation of lesbians has risen on TV. In particular, there has been an influx of femme lesbian characters." Additional relief has come from femme celebrities, who have come out as gay like "Portia de Rossi, up-and-coming actress Amber Heard, Miss California hopeful Mollie Thomas, and country singer Chely Wright."

Also, she launched a Femme Visibility campaign on her "blog, What Wegan Did Next, with the simple plan of inviting femme lesbians to send in their photos and together take a step toward shattering stereotypes and pulling off our invisibility cloak."

After reading Megan's post, I realized that femme lesbian transwoman also suffer from "femme invisibility." We are unable to attract other lesbians and we have to ward off heterosexual males because other lesbians and heterosexual males assume we are heterosexual.

If you are a happily married femme transwoman (like I am), the inability to attract other lesbians is a good thing, but we still have to deal with heterosexual males who are on the make.

Television is not much help. TV transwomen come in two flavors: the men in dresses (à la Work It) and the drag queens (à la Ru Paul's Drag Race). The handful of trans femmes on TV have been so short-lived (the average trans femme character lasts one episode of a TV show) that they have not made much of an impact on the public's image of a transwoman. They still think we are either men in dresses or drag queens.

I don't have a solution. More femme transwomen characters on TV and in film might help. And more femme transwomen coming out as lesbians might help, too, but who knows?

We have enough trouble coming out as transwomen; coming out as lesbian transwomen might be pushing the envelope too much too soon. Maybe one step at a time is the way to go; first step: gender, second step: sexuality.  

By the way, when a guy comes on to me, I usually manage to dissuade him off by pointing at my wedding ring.

2006 Miss Eng'g Womanless Pageant

Lots of links and photos for the 2006 edition of the pageant:

Candidates (1)

Candidates (2)

Candidates (3) 

Preliminaries (1) 

Preliminaries (2) 

Preliminaries (3)  

Preliminaries (4) 

Pageant (1) 

Pageant (2)

Again, our thanks go out to Femulate reader Oak for the links.

'Tis the Season (More or Less)

Me at banquet, 2004

Around these parts, all the T-girls start making plans to attend the T-gal gala event of the year: the annual banquet of the Connecticut Outreach Society (COS).

Two months from now (more or less), on March 31, yours truly will be tripping the light fantastic at the Four Points Sheraton in the "Silver City," Meriden, CT with about 75 other ladies of the trans persuasion.

Between the usual dinner and dancing, there will be an awards presentation and stand-up comedian Tammy TwoTone will perform.

I always have a great time attending the banquet and I am sure that this year will be no different and maybe even better!

For more information and a downloadable registration form, visit the COS website and click on the big red link.

Tea for T

After my shopping spree on Wednesday, I met the girls (Angela, Diana, Maryann, and Robin) for afternoon tea at a Tea Roses Tea Room in downtown Cromwell.

I have never been in a tea room in my life and I am not much of a tea drinker, but I looked forward to the experience.

It was a very feminine adventure. All of the customers and all of the staff were female and the room was beautifully appointed in a most feminine manner. You can get a glimpse of the room in the accompanying photo as well as in the photos on the tea room's website.

It was also very relaxing; we spent two hours doing our afternoon tea. Each of us had an individual large pot of tea (I had "Cheeky Peach"), and we had munchies to eat including delicious scones, delicate tea sandwiches, and yummy mini-desserts.

I arrived on an empty stomach and when I looked at the spread of food, I had my doubts that my appetite would be sated, but it was.

I had a very enjoyable time and I would love to do it again.

***

Wednesday was another day of affirmation of my womanhood.

When I parked my car at the mall at the start of the day, I had that usual moment of hesitation. But after a minute or two, I gathered myself emotionally, swung open the car door, exited the car, and walked to the mall entrance. Listening to my high heels clicking on the pavement affirmed what I was doing and there was no stopping me.

Everyone treated me respectfully. I'll never know if they read me or not, but no one indicated that they did and no one disrespected me.

I smiled at other women passing by in the mall and always returned the smile and sometimes they initiated the exchange of smiles.

I noticed one woman checking out my bootines and another spent an inordinate amount of time checking me out while she browsed the racks near me at Macy's. When I caught her eye, I smiled and that seemed to disarm her --- she smiled back and stopped checking me out.

It was wonderful and I am already planning my next time out en femme.

It is Mine

This is a photo of the evening gown I bought today for $55 ($144 off list price)

"Bead detail along the round neckline frames this black Alex Evenings mesh gown with elegant sophistication. A criss-cross ruched empire waist softens the fit and elongates the look."

Isn't it beautiful? I can't wait to wear it!

Shopping Spree

(updated below)

I was out all day en femme yesterday.

I wore my Victoria's Secret kelly green sweater dress, Payless tan bootines, Kohl's animal print scarf, and Fashion Bug white fake fur jacket.

I hit the first mall (West Farms Mall) at 10:30 AM and headed straight to the dress department of JCPenney to search out the dress I saw on their website. I quickly found a rack of that very dress and there was one in my size. I also found two other dresses to take into the fitting room.

After I stripped down and prepared to try on my finds, I noticed that the dress that brought me to JCPenney in the first place had a huge brown stain near its hem. It looked as if someone had stepped on the hem with muddy shoes while they were trying on the dress. I was disappointed as it was the only one in my size, but I tried it on anyway to see if it fit, and if it did, I could try another JCPenney store or order it online.

I had a hard time pulling up the zipper with my long nails  and with the dresses low back, I was not sure if I had zipped it up completely or had a ways to go. I just assumed it fit and planned to try another JCPenne later.

I tried on the other two dresses, as well as three more that I shagged during my second search through the racks, but they were so unimpressive that I cannot recall a single one.

Only one hour into my day out and the balls of my feet already hurting. I assumed that the 4-inch stiletto heels of my bootines were the source of my pain, but whatever the source, my feet were not going to take me to the opposite end of the mall to Sephora. Also, I wanted to shed my fake fur. It was too hot wearing it in the mall and I could tolerate the mid-40 temperature outdoors without outerwear for the short time out between my car and a mall entrance. So, I went back to my car, shed my jacket, and drove to the other end of the mall.

I had a shopping list for Sephora. I needed to replenish my powder foundation, translucent powder, makeup setting spray, and I had to replace the wig comb that I lost or misplaced. A Sephora sales rep greeted me and helped me find everything on my shopping list.

While shopping at Sephora, I encountered the sales rep who did my makeover over five years ago. She greeted me as if we were old friends, but just to make sure, I asked her if she remembered me. She said she did and when she described that encounter way back when, I knew that she really did remember me.

I thanked her for the words of wisdom she gave me during that makeover ("You only have one life to live and you should live it like you want. If someone has a problem, then it is their problem, not yours.") I have lived by those words ever since that day and I have been very happy doing so.

Paying for my purchases, the cashier complimented my perfume (Chanel No. 19) and informed me I had enough Sephora points to qualify for a free gift. I chose a tube of makeup primer, paid for my purchases, and headed for the exit.

Since I had parked at a Macy's entrance, I made a quick trip through their dress racks, found a couple of potential items, tried them on, but rejected them all. So I left the mall and drove to another mall (Westfield Mall) to try my luck at JCPenney.

Twenty-five minutes later, I arrived at the mall, but before heading inside, I decided to switch footwear to the flats I had recently purchased from Avon. Initially, they seemed comfortable, although they were a little tight. The "seemed" comfort lost out to the "little" tightness in short order.

In JCPenney, I found a rack of the dress of my quest. There were fewer dresses on this rack than at the other JCPenney and I thought that my odds of finding my size were not good. Lucky me: after checking the sizes of all the dresses on the rack, the very last dress I checked was in my size.

I grabbed two other dresses with potential and headed to the fitting room where I encountered the same zipper problem I had encountered with the soiled dress. Had I zipped it up all the way or not?

I managed to slip my arms out of the sleeves and revolve the dress 180 degrees to see what was what with the zipper. Turned out it had about five inches to go; there was no way I could zip it up all the way without removing some ribs.

Going in, I figured that the dress would fit because I had another dress that size  in the same brand (Allen B.) that fit perfectly. And when I tried the dress on, it looked great on me. So I was very disappointed; so much so that I did not even consider the two other dresses that I had dragged into the fitting room. I exited JCPenney and walked around the mall.

I visited Torrid and found their "optical illusion" dress to be interesting. I took a size 14 and 16 into the dressing room. To my surprise, the 14 fit and looked great, but I was not ready to spend $75 on a dress that did not outshine the $35 JCPenney dress.

My feet were not liking my tight shoes, so I visited Payless, which was just across the way from Torrid. They had a bunch of shoes in my size on sale, plus they were having a Buy One Get One (“BOGO”) at half price sale, so I tried on nearly everything they had in my size.

I purchased the two most comfortable pairs: a cute pair of black Mary Jane flats and a pair of black open toe sling backs with a 4-inch heel. Despite their heel height, I wore the slingbacks the rest of the day without a problem. By the way, between the sale and BOGO, the two pairs of shoes cost a mere $24.99.

The saleswoman at Payless was one I had dealt with a few times in the past at different Payless stores. On those previous occasions, I was always in boy mode, but I tried on girl shoes in the store, so the she knew I was a girly-boy. Now she was seeing me for the first time en femme. I mentioned that fact to her and she knew immediately who I was and was happy to see me in my preferred gender.

My last stop was Macy's. They had a much better selection of cocktail and formal dresses, both new and clearance, than the other Macy's. I tried on a half-dozen dresses. They were all very nice and of very high quality, so I was willing to pay more.

I narrowed down the selections and bought a "short sleeve, tiered floral lace scalloped hem cocktail dress." But overnight, I got a bad case of buyer's remorse and regretted not buying a long black formal dress with a pearl-embedded halter neckline that was on clearance.

The cocktail dress is very nice and it looks good on me, but I have plenty of good-looking cocktail dresses, while I own nothing like that formal. So, I plan to stop at Macy's today and if that dress is still on the clearance rack, it will be mine.

UPDATE: I went to Macy’s during my noon break and the dress was still on the rack. I grabbed it and took it to the cash register. The sales woman, who rang me up said it was the last one she had and gushed over how beautiful it was.

I told her I tried it on yesterday while I was en femme and it did look beautiful on me. She asked if I performed and we got into a conversation about drag.

When she rang up the dress, I was surprised. Its list price was $199, but it cost me only $55.

Girl's Day Out

This girl goes out on Wednesday.

The weather girl promises that it will be a sunny day with temperatures in the low 40s --- that's pretty, pretty good for late January in this part of the world, so it should be a nice day out.

My plans for the day include meeting the girls at a local tea room mid-afternoon for tea and more. I am not big on tea, but I've never visited a tea room before, so I am looking forward to a new experience.

Also, I want to visit the mall because I saw a dress on the JCPenney website that will be perfect for my law school reunion. I want to try it on and purchase it if it meets my expectations.

On Monday, I did buy a new dress (see photo) online at Ideeli that is more suitable for the office than the reunion. It is so retro (just like me), but it does not ship until mid-February, so I won't know if it fits until then.

Best Brows for You

Brows can either make or break your entire look. But with so many options--thick, thin, arched, straight--how do you know which brow shape is right for you?

Daily Makeover has the answer.