Femulating at the Atlanta Cotillion Ball

"Annually, a group of gentlemen from the Atlanta gay community participate as 'debutantes' in a unique fundraising concept to benefit HIV/AIDS charities.  Each participant is given a financial goal; how they reach and, almost always, exceed that goal depends on their creativity, resources and passion for helping those affected by HIV/AIDS.  Since 2002 the Atlanta Cotillion has not only donated over $750,000, but has also become one of the single largest donors of unrestricted funds to AID Atlanta, the largest AIDS service organization in the southeast.

"After months of creative individual fundraising efforts, the Atlanta Cotillion social season culminates in the lively and entertaining Atlanta Cotillion Ball. In keeping to tradition the escorted debutantes are presented on stage to celebrate their fundraising successes.  As the highlight of the evening, the debutante who has raised the most funds is crowned Queen of the Atlanta Cotillion Ball."

The dress requirements for the event are interesting to say the least.

"Women’s formal evening attire is required for invited guests who have made donations of $75 or more (regardless of gender or sexual orientation). Guests who have made donations of $150 or more may attend in formal evening attire (Black Tie). Please note that  no table may have more than five guests in Black Tie.

"Those attending in formal female attire are required to be free of visible facial or body hair and appropriately dressed for a formal event. Thank you for adhering to these dress requirements, which will be strictly enforced for admittance."

Sounds like my kind of place.

Photos from the 2009 and 2010 Balls are on flickr here and here. The femulations are fabulous!

Thank-you Aunty Marlena for this fine femulation find.

She Gets It

My wife and I seldom discuss my transgender. I never bring up the subject because whenever I attempted to do so in the past, my wife said she knew enough and did not want to discuss it further.

Today, she mentioned that she was tired of people giving Chaz Bono a hard time. She said he was born that way; no one would choose the hard way of life of a transgender voluntarily, so leave him be.

Then she said, "Just like you were born that way."

I guess that means she gets it.

Anybody Else See This ?

Wednesday evening, I was sitting in front of the television while I was answering e-mails on my computer. I was not paying close attention to the television, which I think was tuned to ABC.

An advertisement came on for a new television show, a situation comedy. The ad showed a male and female in conversation. The female said something (sarcastic?) about the male's clothing choice. Next thing you know, the male was wearing a dress, and the female said something sarcastic about him wearing a dress.

It happened so fast that I missed the name of the show and I am not sure what I really saw.

Anybody else see this? Or was it just my 'magination?

Help Femulating

Since most us played on the other team most of our lives, femulating can be challenging. We try to be mature women, yet we are still learning the basics that young women take for granted.

Personally, I willingly accept all the help I can get. One source of help I find very useful is Ginger Burr, an image consultant, who I had the pleasure of meeting last fall. Ginger runs Total Image Consultants, an image consultant business  in the Boston area and has both cis and transgender women as clients.

Ginger also has an online presence. She writes a blog and sends out sage advice via e-mail.

Today her blog asks "Do You Have a One-Dimensional Wardrobe?"

Ginger writes, "Here’s something to ponder: There’s a fine line between ‘knowing’ yourself (for instance, feeling genuinely confident that harem pants are not for you) and ‘limiting’ yourself, and your style when it’s not necessary.

"Many women pigeon hole themselves into a prescribed way of dressing and thereby limit their options and often squelch their sense of delight. Their wardrobe becomes functional and one-dimensional — devoid of any personal style and their boredom level escalates."

I highly recommend reading the rest of the article; you can find it here.

You can also subscribe to Ginger’s e-mails here.

And may your weekend be femulating!

Three Things

Thing One

I could not help noticing in his recent photo shoot for designer Chris Benz that Andrej Pejic is femulating Warhol Superstar Candy Darling.

Candy Darling and Andrej Pejic

Thing Two

Who would have thought that Gwyneth Paltrow wore Spanx shapewear, but according to this Daily Makeover article, she is not the only "sexy" celebrity that dons shapewear. Jennifer Garner, Tyra Banks, Jessica Alba, Cate Blanchett, Katherine Heigl, and other svelte stars are big proponents of that line of shapewear.

Now I don't feel like such a fatty when I squeeze into my shapewear!

Thing Three

After my first successful purchase from Ideeli, I made a second purchase from Ideeli yesterday: a black and gold brocade "pull through" cocktail dress (photo right) from R&M Richards.

If it arrives in time and fits, I plan to model it in the fashion show on October 7.

Very Out in Public

On Friday, October 7, I will walk the runway in a trans fashion show to raise funds for the Connecticut TransAdvocacy Coalition (CTAC).

The fun begins at 7 PM at Tommy’s Restaurant (825 Saybrook Road, Middletown, CT 06457), just seconds from Route 9 Exit 11. Admission is $10 at the door; you must be 21 or older to attend.

I modeled in this show four years ago and Tommy’s was packed and rockin'. I had a great time and it seemed that most of the attendees did, too. So come early and please say, "Hello" ...I'd love to meet you all in person!

By the way, we will be modeling "business" and "casual" outfits. For business, I will wear the purple retro skirt-suit that I also plan to wear to work on Halloween. For casual, I will wear one of the new dresses I purchased from Ideeli.

I hope I will see you there!

Thinking Tall on Tuesday

Time to add to the Famous Females of Height List with a bevy of beauties who are “famous” and at least 68 inches tall (without high heels).

(Thank you Meg and SoCalSecrets for your input.)

5'8"

Catherine Keener – actress – film, The 40-Year-Old Virgin – source: SoCalSecrets

Minka Kelly – actress – television, Parenthood; Friday Night Lights – source: SoCalSecrets

5'9"

Joy Bryant – actress – television, Parenthood – source: SoCalSecrets

Rachel Taylor – actress – film, Transformers – source: SoCalSecrets

Odette Yustman – actress – film, Cloverfield – source: SoCalSecrets

5'10"

Cody Horn – actress – television, The Office – source: Stana

Khloé Kardashian – ne'er-do-well – source: SoCalSecrets

Leila Lopes – Miss Universe 2011 – source: Meg Winters

Stacey Oristano – actress – television, Friday Night Lights – SoCalSecrets

Heidi Watney (photo above) – sports reporter – NESN / Boston Red Sox – source: Stana

5'11"

Monique Ganderton – stunt woman – source: SoCalSecrets

Ivanka Trump – ne'er-do-well – source: SoCalSecrets

6'0"

Kendall Jenner – ne'er-do-well – source: SoCalSecrets

Day of Hearts: Day of Femulations

 

“Originally, Hartjesdag (Day of Hearts) was a festival celebrated on the third Monday in August in the Dutch areas of Haarlem and Bloemendaal and in various parts of Amsterdam, particularly around the Haarlemmerplein, in the Jordaan, and in the Dapperbuurt. On Hartjesdag fires were kindled and children collected money.

“Later it developed itself into a type of cross-dressing carnival, where men dressed as women, and women dressed as men. A typical scene was captured in the oil painting entitled Hartjesdag, by the artist Johan Braakensiek in 1926.

“During the German occupation in 1943, the Hartjesdag was prohibited, and after the war it eventually became obsolete.

“In 1997 a local committee in the Zeedijk, Amsterdam, decided to see if they could revive the tradition. Each year since then, the festival has flourished into a two-day event on the 3rd weekend in August.”

Perry “Meteorry” Tak posted the previous description from Wikipedia to introduce a collection of his 2011 Hartjesdag photos on flickr.

Also, there are over a thousand other Hartjesdag photos in the flickr Amsterdam Hartjesdagen Zeedijk Group Pool.

(Thank you, Aunty Marlena for alerting me about Meteorry’s photos.)

In the News

Two stories appeared in Saturday's Mail OnLine that may be of interest to you.

Why I let my son live as a girl: Mother of boy who returned to school in a skirt bravely tells her extraordinary story

He walked out of the school gates in July as a boy wearing trousers, polo shirt and trainers, and returned in September, with the school’s agreement, as a girl.

Read the rest of the story here. (Thank you, Accro, for alerting me to this story.)

'I always felt more feminine than male': Poland's Next Top Model favourite tells judges how she was born a hermaphrodite

With her flawless skin and versatile look, it is little surprise that Michalina Manios is a favourite to win Poland's Next Top Model.

Read the rest of the story here.

The Ultimate Womanless Pageant

If only all womanless beauty pageants were like Pageant - The Musical.

For the uninitiated, Pageant - The Musical is a parody that pits six beauty queens against each other in the Miss Glamouresse beauty pageant. These beauties sing, dance, and camp it up in gowns and bathing suits. It is a hilarious contest that is equaled only by the zany "spokesmodel" event which requires them to hawk the sponsor's outrageous cosmetics. While the girls swirl around the charming host, judges from the audience decide who will be crowned Miss Glamouresse.

Need I say that the girls are played by boys?

Pageant - The Musical has been touring the country for years. I have not seen it in person, but I have seen lots of photos of the show and present the best here for your enjoyment.

One-Person Department

Over the years, my company has downsized to the point that I am now a one-person department (in contrast to the four-person department I joined when I was hired 14 years ago).

In one way, it is a good thing. As the last person standing, it indicates that someone thinks I am a valuable employee. I will probably have a job as long as the company exists. (And despite the sputtering economy, my company has done well, so its future prospects are very good.)

On the other hand, as a one-person department, I have no back-up. When my department has to make an appearance or put out a fire, I am the one who makes the appearance or puts out the fire.

My boss informed me two weeks ago not to make any plans this week because all the company bigwigs will be here and that I had to absolutely be here Thursday to demo a website I am building for some of the bigwigs.

The ham radio groups I am involved with are co-sponsoring a conference this weekend. I had planned to go and attend the conference en femme, but I had to forget about it because my one-person department needs me.

I hate it when that happens!

Got Dress, Part 2

The dress I ordered from Ideeli arrived today only five days after I ordered it online.

They shipped the dress in a cardboard box rather than a plastic bag that many online/mail-order retailers use.

Inside the box, there was a heavy duty clear plastic bag containing the dress on a heavy duty plastic hangar.

Examining the dress, I thought it was quality clothing (Ellen Tracy is the brand) and might even be a good fit.

I stripped off my clothes, slipped on my shapewear, and slipped on the dress. It was a perfect fit! Yay!

According to Ideeli's size chart for Ellen Tracy dresses, size 14 should fit me. That is the size I ordered (and as luck would have it, it was the only size they had left for that dress style).

I only own one other size 14 dress and it is a snug fit; most of my other dresses are size 16, so I did not have high hopes that the 14 would fit.

Overall, I was very happy with my purchase from Ideeli and I won't hesitate to order from them again now that I know I can trust their size charts.

TG, Concepts and Usages

Zagria of A Gender Variance Who's Who fame has written a five-part series of posts titled "TG, concepts and usages," which describes her findings regarding the history/etymology of the terms we use and bandy about in the trans community.

Parts 1 and 2 were very interesting. I look forward to the rest of the series and recommend it to my readers. It begins here.

Button, Button, Who's Got a Button?

I made up my mind to do business-woman drag for Halloween and now I had to decide what to wear.

I went through my closets looking for suitable skirt-suits. My search returned a half-dozen suits, but they were all too big.

Your Miss Stana has lost nine pounds and is more than half way to her goal of losing 16 pounds. As a result, I have undergrown some of my wardrobe and by Halloween, will have undergrown even more.

Good news is that some of the items in my wardrobe that were too tight, now fit or should fit real soon now.

I own a purple (my favorite color) retro skirt-suit that I absolutely love, but I have never worn out because it was too tight. So tight that when I modeled it for the first time, I popped a button.

Even though it was too small, I liked it so much that I kept it hoping that maybe it would fit someday.

Friday, I got the suit out of storage, tried it on, and it fit like a glove, but Houston, we have a problem: it was missing the popped button.

I was sure I saved the button, but where did I save it? I had a collection of buttons in a box in the top drawer of my clothes bureau and another box of buttons in my jewelry box, so I searched through both.

I was very surprised how many buttons I had collected over the years, but neither collection had the missing button.

I started contemplating buying a new set of buttons --- six for the skirt and four for the jacket. Replacing ten buttons was not a job I relished and I would probably have my seamstress do it.

But before I had to resort to that, I continued my search in less likely places: my lingerie box, my wig box, my hosiery box, my makeup box, my other makeup box.

Eureka! The button was in my other makeup box.

So now I have the skirt-suit for my Halloween business-woman drag costume. I plan to wear it with black or off-black pantyhose, a scarf, and a pair of pumps, which are yet to be determined.

I can't wait!

Still Just Another Avon Lady

Jaye Anne wrote, "I absolutely loved today's Avon Lady posting and I have several questions I think your devoted admirers and fellow Femulators would be interested in." 

One is are you aware that there are any other Femulator Avon Ladies besides yourself? And if there are, do you know them?

Stana: It seems that there are according to this forum thread on crossdressers.com, but I personally do not know any. Although I did see a couple of women at the Avon Foxwoods event that may have been trans.

Jaye Anne: Also, I assume that Avon management in your area is aware that you are a Femulator and that they are okay and even supportive of it.

Stana: My current and previous district managers were aware and there was never a discouraging word.

Jaye Anne: Also, is Avon aware that they may have a market of feminine males who would welcome either Avon Ladies or Avon Femulators into their homes under proper circumstances (i.e. wife approval, etc)?

Stana: My guess is that as far as Avon is concerned, a sale is a sale no matter who the buyer. By the way, I am aware (via stories on the Internet) of Avon ladies who have femulating customers. 

Jaye Anne: Also, I'd love to know how active in your Avon sales and marketing you are able to be. How are you received in the homes of the women you so graciously help?

Stana: In my experience, selling Avon is simply a matter of distributing the catalogs to your customers and collecting their orders before they are due. I can count on one hand the number of times I have made sales in someone's home and all those occurrences were in boy mode, long before I exited the closet (I've been an Avon rep for over 15 years).

All my current customers are aware of Stana and have no qualms about dealing with her (me).

Avon offers its representatives a website to sell online and I often thought about jumping on that bandwagon and promoting it via my blog. I intended to discuss the matter with my District Manager at the Foxwoods get-together, but she had her hands full, so I will talk to her about it at another time.

What’s so funny about a straight man in a dress... ?

What’s so funny about a straight man in a dress in an era when transphobia can still be a deadly reality for people who choose to not live on the polar opposite ends of the gender binary?

Matt Mazur considers this question in his comprehensize PopMatters article titled "Connect the Dots: Transgender Narratives in Pop Culture."

You can read the article here. It is long, so get a cup of coffee before you sit down to read it.

Got Dress

Ideeli reran the sale of the dress I decided to buy after you all gave me your input three weeks ago.

As you may recall, when I originally made up my mind to buy it, Ideeli's time-limited sale had ended and my only hope was that they might rerun the sale, which is what they often do with leftover items.

After three weeks, I had just about given up hope that the dress would reappear for sale. I assumed that they sold all they had to sell first time around.

Lo and behold, yesterday's daily e-mail from Ideeli indicated that the dress was for sale, but when I went to the website to view it, I was disappointed that all they had left was size 14.

As you know, today's size 14 could be yesterday's size 16 and the day before yesterday's size 18, so for the heck of it, I checked the size chart and their size 14 is my size du jour!

I could not click on the order button fast enough. Lucky I did because after I finished ordering the dress, I went back to view it and it was sold out!

Just Another Avon Lady

My day started earlier than usual because I had to get up, get en femme, and drive to the other end of the state by 10 AM to attend Avon's "Come Home for the Holidays 2011" show. The show was attended to acquaint us Avon representatives with new products to sell during the holidays. Besides the opportunity to see the new products and hobnob with the other Avon ladies, a $50 gift bag awaited each attendee. How could I resist?

The show took place at the Foxwoods casino, the biggest casino in the USA. Problem is that you can't get there from here. It is only 70 miles away, but the route is so convoluted that it takes 90 minutes over some bad roads to get there.

I was on the road at 8:20 and the weather was terrible. The Northeast was being deluged again, flash floods and traffic accidents here and there throughout the state, Noah was gathering wood... not ideal driving under the gun conditions, but I managed to pull into a Foxwoods parking garage at 10 AM on the dot.

I wore my mid-heel Mary Janes, a very comfortable shoe, probably my most comfortable shoe. It occasionally shows up at  Payless for sale. When I bought the shoe, the salesman said that it sells out quickly because of its reputation as being comfortable, yet it is a nice-looking shoe. Anyway, I needed the comfort because now I had to sprint to the other side of the casino.

The casino is very big and I had to walk about one-third of a mile to get from my parked car to the site of the show, the Grand Pequot Ballroom. I arrived at the Ballroom at about 10:15 along with a huge throng of other Avon representatives. Turns out that they opened the doors at 10 AM, but that the show was continuous all morning long. There was no need to be there at 10 AM on the dot, so I did not have to hurry to get there. C'est la vie.

I joined the throng, which was about 99% female and 1% male and probably 75% of the males were with their spouses, so I assume the wife in these couples was the Avon rep and the male was their supportive husband.

Just about everyone I encountered treated me nicely... as if I belonged. I only noticed one or two in the huge crowd that might have had some transphobia, but that is only my take on them --- they just might have been having a bad day or they could not handle crowds.

As far as I can tell, I was just one of the girls. I chatted with a few and everyone I asked, graciously took my photo. I must have made a positive impression because whenever I encountered someone I had chatted with earlier, they acknowledged me with a wave and a smile.

One woman said that she loved my dress (she was also wearing a dress). I'd estimate that about 10% of the women wore dresses or skirts; the rest wore slacks, but almost all the outfits would be considered "business casual" garb.

By the way, I was not the tallest woman in attendance. I counted three that were as tall, if not taller than me. And there were perhaps a dozen six-footers in the crowd. This was the first time I had the opportunity to get up close to my manager and she is tall, too.

I saw a couple of items that I will definitely order for myself (for myself or as gifts). After 90 minutes, I repaired to the ladies' room to fix my makeup, then I proceeded to the various casinos in the complex to try my luck at the slot machines.

I usually play 25-cent slot machines and I had to search for them because it seems that the penny slot machines are taking over. The first quarter machine I played, I walked away up $20. That was an auspicious start.

The second machine I played, I won 600 quarters ($150) on the third spin! It occurred to me that whenever I play the slots en femme, I am always successful --- maybe the gods are trying to tell me something. After that, I held my own and managed to walk away $180 ahead at day's end. Nice!

I exited the casino at 2:30 PM headed for home. The weather had cleared and the drive way pleasant and my mind wandered trying to think of any stores to visit before returning home.

There is a DSW Shoe Warehouse along the way, so I decided to do some shoe shopping. I parked my car and checked my makeup. Yuck! A 5 o'clock shadow at 3 o'clock! In my rush to get going in the morning, I obviously had not shaved as well as I should have. Normally, a close shave would be good well into the evening, but not today.

I tried to cover the stubble with my powder foundation to no avail. No one would likely notice, but I lost my confidence and decided to abandon shoe shopping and go home.

Despite that, I had a wonderful day out en femme. I was a tired by the time I exited girl mode, physically tired, not tired of being en femme. I will never tire of being the woman that I really am.

Out Today

I was out en femme today and will have a full report tomorrow. (Too tired to type tonight.)

Hanging Chaz

Writing here about Chaz Bono and the effort to hang him out to dry for his Dancing With The Stars (DWTS) stint is like preaching to the choir. I am sure that most Femulate readers support Mr. Bono and hope he does well on the television show, so there is no need convincing you that his DWTS apperance is a good thing.

However, you may want to show your support in a public manner by going to the Vote For Chaz Bono on DWTS Facebook page. (If I still had a Facebook account, I'd do it in a New York minute.)

Anyway, in my opinion, anything that mainstreams transgender folks in a positive manner is a big win for the transgender community. The fact that this mainstreaming is occurring on a very popular television show is even better. The more people who see Chaz on DWTS, the more opportunities there are to convince the civilian population that transgenders are just plain folks who are no stranger than Buzz Aldrin, Bristol Palin, Lance Bass, Margaret Cho, or any of the other diverse cast of characters, who have appeared on the show.

And maybe next fall, DWTS will have a male-to-female transgender compete on the show. My toe should be completely mended by then!