TG, Concepts and Usages

Zagria of A Gender Variance Who's Who fame has written a five-part series of posts titled "TG, concepts and usages," which describes her findings regarding the history/etymology of the terms we use and bandy about in the trans community.

Parts 1 and 2 were very interesting. I look forward to the rest of the series and recommend it to my readers. It begins here.

Button, Button, Who's Got a Button?

I made up my mind to do business-woman drag for Halloween and now I had to decide what to wear.

I went through my closets looking for suitable skirt-suits. My search returned a half-dozen suits, but they were all too big.

Your Miss Stana has lost nine pounds and is more than half way to her goal of losing 16 pounds. As a result, I have undergrown some of my wardrobe and by Halloween, will have undergrown even more.

Good news is that some of the items in my wardrobe that were too tight, now fit or should fit real soon now.

I own a purple (my favorite color) retro skirt-suit that I absolutely love, but I have never worn out because it was too tight. So tight that when I modeled it for the first time, I popped a button.

Even though it was too small, I liked it so much that I kept it hoping that maybe it would fit someday.

Friday, I got the suit out of storage, tried it on, and it fit like a glove, but Houston, we have a problem: it was missing the popped button.

I was sure I saved the button, but where did I save it? I had a collection of buttons in a box in the top drawer of my clothes bureau and another box of buttons in my jewelry box, so I searched through both.

I was very surprised how many buttons I had collected over the years, but neither collection had the missing button.

I started contemplating buying a new set of buttons --- six for the skirt and four for the jacket. Replacing ten buttons was not a job I relished and I would probably have my seamstress do it.

But before I had to resort to that, I continued my search in less likely places: my lingerie box, my wig box, my hosiery box, my makeup box, my other makeup box.

Eureka! The button was in my other makeup box.

So now I have the skirt-suit for my Halloween business-woman drag costume. I plan to wear it with black or off-black pantyhose, a scarf, and a pair of pumps, which are yet to be determined.

I can't wait!

Still Just Another Avon Lady

Jaye Anne wrote, "I absolutely loved today's Avon Lady posting and I have several questions I think your devoted admirers and fellow Femulators would be interested in." 

One is are you aware that there are any other Femulator Avon Ladies besides yourself? And if there are, do you know them?

Stana: It seems that there are according to this forum thread on crossdressers.com, but I personally do not know any. Although I did see a couple of women at the Avon Foxwoods event that may have been trans.

Jaye Anne: Also, I assume that Avon management in your area is aware that you are a Femulator and that they are okay and even supportive of it.

Stana: My current and previous district managers were aware and there was never a discouraging word.

Jaye Anne: Also, is Avon aware that they may have a market of feminine males who would welcome either Avon Ladies or Avon Femulators into their homes under proper circumstances (i.e. wife approval, etc)?

Stana: My guess is that as far as Avon is concerned, a sale is a sale no matter who the buyer. By the way, I am aware (via stories on the Internet) of Avon ladies who have femulating customers. 

Jaye Anne: Also, I'd love to know how active in your Avon sales and marketing you are able to be. How are you received in the homes of the women you so graciously help?

Stana: In my experience, selling Avon is simply a matter of distributing the catalogs to your customers and collecting their orders before they are due. I can count on one hand the number of times I have made sales in someone's home and all those occurrences were in boy mode, long before I exited the closet (I've been an Avon rep for over 15 years).

All my current customers are aware of Stana and have no qualms about dealing with her (me).

Avon offers its representatives a website to sell online and I often thought about jumping on that bandwagon and promoting it via my blog. I intended to discuss the matter with my District Manager at the Foxwoods get-together, but she had her hands full, so I will talk to her about it at another time.

What’s so funny about a straight man in a dress... ?

What’s so funny about a straight man in a dress in an era when transphobia can still be a deadly reality for people who choose to not live on the polar opposite ends of the gender binary?

Matt Mazur considers this question in his comprehensize PopMatters article titled "Connect the Dots: Transgender Narratives in Pop Culture."

You can read the article here. It is long, so get a cup of coffee before you sit down to read it.

Got Dress

Ideeli reran the sale of the dress I decided to buy after you all gave me your input three weeks ago.

As you may recall, when I originally made up my mind to buy it, Ideeli's time-limited sale had ended and my only hope was that they might rerun the sale, which is what they often do with leftover items.

After three weeks, I had just about given up hope that the dress would reappear for sale. I assumed that they sold all they had to sell first time around.

Lo and behold, yesterday's daily e-mail from Ideeli indicated that the dress was for sale, but when I went to the website to view it, I was disappointed that all they had left was size 14.

As you know, today's size 14 could be yesterday's size 16 and the day before yesterday's size 18, so for the heck of it, I checked the size chart and their size 14 is my size du jour!

I could not click on the order button fast enough. Lucky I did because after I finished ordering the dress, I went back to view it and it was sold out!

Just Another Avon Lady

My day started earlier than usual because I had to get up, get en femme, and drive to the other end of the state by 10 AM to attend Avon's "Come Home for the Holidays 2011" show. The show was attended to acquaint us Avon representatives with new products to sell during the holidays. Besides the opportunity to see the new products and hobnob with the other Avon ladies, a $50 gift bag awaited each attendee. How could I resist?

The show took place at the Foxwoods casino, the biggest casino in the USA. Problem is that you can't get there from here. It is only 70 miles away, but the route is so convoluted that it takes 90 minutes over some bad roads to get there.

I was on the road at 8:20 and the weather was terrible. The Northeast was being deluged again, flash floods and traffic accidents here and there throughout the state, Noah was gathering wood... not ideal driving under the gun conditions, but I managed to pull into a Foxwoods parking garage at 10 AM on the dot.

I wore my mid-heel Mary Janes, a very comfortable shoe, probably my most comfortable shoe. It occasionally shows up at  Payless for sale. When I bought the shoe, the salesman said that it sells out quickly because of its reputation as being comfortable, yet it is a nice-looking shoe. Anyway, I needed the comfort because now I had to sprint to the other side of the casino.

The casino is very big and I had to walk about one-third of a mile to get from my parked car to the site of the show, the Grand Pequot Ballroom. I arrived at the Ballroom at about 10:15 along with a huge throng of other Avon representatives. Turns out that they opened the doors at 10 AM, but that the show was continuous all morning long. There was no need to be there at 10 AM on the dot, so I did not have to hurry to get there. C'est la vie.

I joined the throng, which was about 99% female and 1% male and probably 75% of the males were with their spouses, so I assume the wife in these couples was the Avon rep and the male was their supportive husband.

Just about everyone I encountered treated me nicely... as if I belonged. I only noticed one or two in the huge crowd that might have had some transphobia, but that is only my take on them --- they just might have been having a bad day or they could not handle crowds.

As far as I can tell, I was just one of the girls. I chatted with a few and everyone I asked, graciously took my photo. I must have made a positive impression because whenever I encountered someone I had chatted with earlier, they acknowledged me with a wave and a smile.

One woman said that she loved my dress (she was also wearing a dress). I'd estimate that about 10% of the women wore dresses or skirts; the rest wore slacks, but almost all the outfits would be considered "business casual" garb.

By the way, I was not the tallest woman in attendance. I counted three that were as tall, if not taller than me. And there were perhaps a dozen six-footers in the crowd. This was the first time I had the opportunity to get up close to my manager and she is tall, too.

I saw a couple of items that I will definitely order for myself (for myself or as gifts). After 90 minutes, I repaired to the ladies' room to fix my makeup, then I proceeded to the various casinos in the complex to try my luck at the slot machines.

I usually play 25-cent slot machines and I had to search for them because it seems that the penny slot machines are taking over. The first quarter machine I played, I walked away up $20. That was an auspicious start.

The second machine I played, I won 600 quarters ($150) on the third spin! It occurred to me that whenever I play the slots en femme, I am always successful --- maybe the gods are trying to tell me something. After that, I held my own and managed to walk away $180 ahead at day's end. Nice!

I exited the casino at 2:30 PM headed for home. The weather had cleared and the drive way pleasant and my mind wandered trying to think of any stores to visit before returning home.

There is a DSW Shoe Warehouse along the way, so I decided to do some shoe shopping. I parked my car and checked my makeup. Yuck! A 5 o'clock shadow at 3 o'clock! In my rush to get going in the morning, I obviously had not shaved as well as I should have. Normally, a close shave would be good well into the evening, but not today.

I tried to cover the stubble with my powder foundation to no avail. No one would likely notice, but I lost my confidence and decided to abandon shoe shopping and go home.

Despite that, I had a wonderful day out en femme. I was a tired by the time I exited girl mode, physically tired, not tired of being en femme. I will never tire of being the woman that I really am.

Out Today

I was out en femme today and will have a full report tomorrow. (Too tired to type tonight.)

Hanging Chaz

Writing here about Chaz Bono and the effort to hang him out to dry for his Dancing With The Stars (DWTS) stint is like preaching to the choir. I am sure that most Femulate readers support Mr. Bono and hope he does well on the television show, so there is no need convincing you that his DWTS apperance is a good thing.

However, you may want to show your support in a public manner by going to the Vote For Chaz Bono on DWTS Facebook page. (If I still had a Facebook account, I'd do it in a New York minute.)

Anyway, in my opinion, anything that mainstreams transgender folks in a positive manner is a big win for the transgender community. The fact that this mainstreaming is occurring on a very popular television show is even better. The more people who see Chaz on DWTS, the more opportunities there are to convince the civilian population that transgenders are just plain folks who are no stranger than Buzz Aldrin, Bristol Palin, Lance Bass, Margaret Cho, or any of the other diverse cast of characters, who have appeared on the show.

And maybe next fall, DWTS will have a male-to-female transgender compete on the show. My toe should be completely mended by then!

My "Business Casual" Dilemma

As I mentioned here last Sunday, I am going out en femme on Thursday, but I don't have a thing to wear!

That's a lie. Actually, I have plenty of things to wear, but I can't decide what to wear.

My manager says we should dress "business casual." That eliminates evening gowns and cocktail dresses, but still leaves a lot to choose from my closet.

In deference to my healing toe, I know I plan to wear my most comfortable shoes, so I guess I will build my outfit around my choice of footwear.

When Wigs Were Wigs

I bought my first wig from Frederick's of Hollywood, how about you?

(As always, click on the image for bigger hair.)

Still More Yearbook Femulations

Here are more findings from old school yearbooks online, thanks to Starla.

As usual, clicking on an image makes it appear bigger (sometimes).

 

Chicoteague (VA) High School, 1985

Unknown High School, 1976

Marinette (WI) High School, 1965

Nathan B. Forrest High School (Jacksonville, FL) 1977

 

Nokomis Regional High School (Newport ME), 1974

Ouachita (LA) High Schhol, 1977

 

Unknown High School, 1974

More Yearbook Femulations

Starla continues searching old school yearbooks online and sending me any femulations she discovers. I shared some of her findings here back in May. With the kids now returning to school to begin anew, I am sharing some of her latest findings with you today.

Starla and I were both interested by the use of the term "She-Male." It must have had a more innocent meaning back in 1967, at least in Louisville. I was certainly trans-active back in 1967, but I can't recall how well known real she-males were back then... probably not so much.

As usual, clicking on an image makes it appear bigger (sometimes).

Westport High School, Louisville, KY, 1967

Springhill (LA) High School, 1967

Dan - the Woman

Irishman Dan Mooney is writing a blog detailing 366 new things to do during his 26th year (plus one day) on the planet Earth. Thing 296 is to "dress as a woman."

He enlists a "cavalry" to help and the results look passable. And to test his passing ability, "she" goes bar-hopping.

(During the femulation process, Dan even goes so far as to look up on the Internet how to create cleavage and proceeds to tape up his shaved chest according to the directions. I wonder; such attention to detail awakens my trans-radar.)

Anyway, you can read all about it here.

(Thank you, Amanda, for alerting me to the story.)

Toe Update

I went to the podiatrist today for a follow-up appointment regarding my toe problem.

After I described the positive effects of the steroid shot he gave me two weeks ago, he said he was not going to give me another shot. Instead, he prescribed Voltaren, an ointment to rub on my toe to alleviate any pain.

He said see how it goes after four weeks and get back to him then if I am still hurting. He expects that my toe problem will be gone by then.

He added that in the meantime, I should avoid climbing ladders and kneeling. That's OK by me.

Suits Me Fine

My best female friend at work really put herself together nicely yesterday.

She wore a (new to me) brown suit (jacket and pencil skirt that skimmed the top of her knees), a pretty dark red satin V-neck blouse, and a pair of suede high heel pumps covered with patches in different shades of brown.

I could not contain myself and told her she looked "great." Then I added, "When you dress like that, I want to dress like that." (In truth, I want to dress like that no matter how she dresses, but she is an inspiration to me.)

She was very flattered.

I also remarked, "I love your shoes."

Having discussed the good, the bad, and the ugly of women's shoes in the past, she mentioned that her shoes were very comfortable.

I replied that's icing on the cake (or something like that).

My friend is on the employee activities committee, so I asked her if the committee had any plans for Halloween this year.

She said they had no plans so far.

I told her that I wanted to come dressed en femme on Halloween and I planned to do so whether the company celebrated the holiday or not.

She encouraged me to do so and added that she did not think anyone would give me a problem.

I replied that nothing would bother me and that I would find out who my friends were.

Then she suggested that I submit a suggestion to the activities committee to celebrate Halloween.

The first thing I did when I returned to my desk was to write that suggestion and e-mail it to her to share with the committee.

Whether there is a Halloween celebration or not, I have now made up my mind that I will attend work en femme on October 31.

And, by the way, she preferred the business woman costume idea over the airline stewardess costume idea.

"A woman is not complete without aching feet."

"A woman is not complete without aching feet" is a line from the film To Die Like A Man and is spoken by one of the transgender characters as she slips on a pair of high heel pumps.

(So, now I know I am not alone regarding aching high heeled feet!)

To Die Like A Man is a 2009 film from Portugal that is now available in the US on DVD with English subtitles.

It is a very dark film and it will not make your day.

Here is the foreboding storyline from IMDB: A transvestite tries to erase any past history of herself as a male. She dies tragically before this is accomplished and her male identity is engraved on her headstone.

Here is Wikipedia's take on the film: It tells the story of a homosexual drag-queen at the end of his [sic] career. The cast includes several Portuguese real-life drag-queens, with no previous, or little, acting experience. The story has been allegedly inspired by the real story of Joaquim Centúrio de Almeida (artistic name: Ruth Bryden), a Portuguese drag-queen, and has motivated a lawsuit on account of plagiarism of a biographical book on the life of Almeida by the late author Carlos Castro, who was murdered in 2011.

I started watching the film as hurricane/tropical storm Irene crashed around my head on Sunday. Maybe the storm outside was too distracting or maybe the film was too bleak for this girl, but whatever the reason, I did not watch it all. Instead, I skimmed through the DVD watching scenes that I thought might be interesting; some were, some were not.

I have to watch the film from beginning to end in order to give it a fair shake. For now, I just wanted to let you all know about its existence.

Lucky

Irene Dunn

I was lucky with regards to hurricane Irene, which was downgraded to "tropical storm" status by the time it got here.

We had 3-3/4-inches of rain and wind speeds as high as 43 MPH. Lots of small branches fell in my yard, as well as one huge branch that I had to ax in half before I could haul it into the woods.

My guyed 55-foot antenna tower survived the onslaught and miracles of miracles, we never lost power, which is saying something considering the record number of outages in this neck of the woods due to Irene.

Out At Last

My toe is on the mend and in ten more days, I hope it is well enough so I can wear woman's shoes and go out en femme.

As I mentioned in the past, I am an "Avon lady" and next month, Avon is touring the USA with its "Come Home for the Holidays 2011" show to acquaint us Avon representatives with new products to sell during the holidays.

Besides a preview of new products, each attendee receives a $50 gift bag and has ban opportunity to have fun and network with sister representatives and managers.

The venue for my Avon district's show is the Mohegan Sun casino, which has some great restaurants where I can lunch with the girls, as well as slot machines where I might win some or lose some.

I have networked with other Avon ladies on only one other occasion: at an Avon rep Christmas party in 2006 (you can read all about it here). Except for the fact that I was way overdressed for that event, it went very well; the other Avon ladies in attendance treated me as one of them and I had a wonderful time.

So I expect to have another wonderful time en femme real soon now.

Comments

"My name is Stana."

I received an e-mail yesterday afternoon from a reader who posted a comment earlier in the day, but wondered if she had done something wrong because her comment had not appeared on the blog.

I work Monday through Friday, 7 AM to 4 PM (more or less), and my workplace filters Internet content (in a willy-nilly fashion). As a result, I cannot access the comment moderation function to approve/disapprove comments posted during the work day.

Only after I get home and get on my home computer, can I moderate your comments. So, if your weekday comments do not appear right after you post them, now you know why.

Speaking of comments, after reading your comments regarding my Halloween costume plans, I am reconsidering. I still plan to go to work en femme, but now I am considering office wear again dressing as a "highly successful business woman in the power skirt suit, heels, etc.," as Jaye Anne suggested.

That costume choice would be easy as I already have all the fixings to put that costume together. On the other hand, a stewardess cap and wings can quickly convert office wear into flight attendant wear, so I have not ruled out "coffee, tea, or me" yet.

No matter what I wear, anyone at work who wondered about my gender after seeing my previous two "office girl" costumes will have no doubt where my gender is after October 31. And so be it; it could break ground for a transition at work.

Meanwhile, I battened down the hatches last night and await the arrival of Hurricane Irene.

We are in the cross-hairs of the predicted path of the storm and when it hits us on Sunday, we may lose power. If that occurs, Femulate will be on hiatus until power returns (although my computer is battery-powered, my Wi-Fi is not).

And so it goes.

Monday Back-to-Work Drag

This year, Halloween falls on a Monday.

There may or may not be anything "official" going on at work Halloween-wise, but I plan to go to work en femme.

I've done it twice before when my workplace had official Halloween function. (You can read about that here and here.)

In the past, I often considered dressing en femme for Halloween when there was no official Halloween functions, but I chickened out each time. This year, I am not going to chicken out. I just have to decide what to wear.

I've done "office girl drag" twice, so I want to wear something different instead.

I still have all the parts of my last Halloween costume, a roaring '20's flapper, so that's a possibility. Or I can go for something completely different.

I always fancied wearing an airline stewardess uniform, but all the stewardess costumes I have found for sale are slutty and not authentic. I thought about building my own stewardess uniform. The only difficult items to obtain are the stewardess hat and wings. Reproduction hats are available, but I have not been able to locate reproduction wings.

Other costume possibilities that have come to mind are:

• Jersey Shore girl
• Call girl
• Goth girl
• Beauty queen

If you all have any other suggestions, please leave a Comment below.