Accepted And Treated As A Lady

I attended the Dayton Hamvention this past weekend and I was en femme the whole time. This post describes my weekend picking up where I left off in my previous post.

Friday Evening

I attended the TAPR-AMSAT Dinner.

Fashion Note: Friday evening, I wore my black and white print A-line dress, black tights, black patent mid-heel pumps with white piping, and black and silver disc earrings (see photo).

I glammed up my daytime makeup and I thought I looked very nice. The dinner was at a banquet hall about a half hour drive from our hotel and I rode with two fellows from my group. One of the fellows said that I looked "spiffy."

At the banquet hall, I saved some seats at a table for friends and we were joined by others who claimed the empty seats at our table. Two fellows from Long Island sat next to me and we had enjoyable conversations throughout the evening.

The meal and after-dinner presentations were very good and I had a pleasant evening. It was uneventful because it seemed that I was accepted as a lady and treated as one.

Hello, Stana

I attended the Dayton Hamvention this past weekend and I was en femme the whole time.

I began recounting events from the weekend in sequential order with this post  and this post, but then I lost Internet access at my hotel, so summarizing each day became impossible.

Those two posts summarized the highlights of Thursday afternoon and evening. I will attempt to summarize the rest of my Hamvention experiences in this and in following posts.

By the way, I am withholding all names and call signs to protect the innocent.

Friday Daytime

I worked our booth most of the day, but I did attend a forum late in the morning. This was a forum related to a niche in ham radio in which I am active. In fact, I wrote three books about that niche and actually moderated the same forum at past Hamventions.

One reason I attended this forum was to reintroduce myself to any old friends that showed up. I did see a few in the crowd of over 400 people, but managed to only talk to one fellow I have known for years. The others got lost as the crowd dispersed when the forum ended.

Fashion Note: Friday daytime, I wore my black jacquard sheath, black tights, black patent mid-heel pumps with white piping, and pearl jewelry (see photo).

Whereas, last year, I was shy about introducing the "new" me to old friends and acquaintances, this year, I made a point of reintroducing myself especially since my editor revealed that most people at ARRL Headquarters knew about me even though I only came out to three people there.

The fact that the word got out did not bother me in the least. It just felt odd that I have been dealing with a lot of these people for the past year assuming that they did not know; not that I would have done anything different if I knew they knew, but it would have been nice to know that they knew (know what I mean?).

So, I made the rounds looking for people I avoided last year.

Almost everyone I met up with was fine with my reintroduction. Only one person had a different reaction; he worked at ARRL Headquarters and I assumed he knew, but it turned out that he did not know.

When I met up with him, he was very, very surprised and I left him unsure what his reaction was beyond the initial shock. (I e-mailed him and apologized for the ambush, but so far, I have not received a response.)

I go back a very long time with the head man at the ARRL, so I wanted to meet up with him, too. Being the head man, every time I saw him during the Hamvention, he was surrounded by people. So, I waited for a better opportunity.

Saturday morning, before the doors opened, he came walking down the aisle where our booth was located and I waved him over to our booth. Without saying a word, he stuck out his hand to shake mine and said, "Hello, Stana."

What a classy guy! And he even pronounced Stana correctly!

Is This Picture Worth A Thousand Words?

The words will take awhile to compose, but cropping and resizing photos is easy. So, while I compose the words about my trip to the Hamvention, I leave you with this photo. (That's me wearing my new LBD before going out to the Contest Dinner on Saturday evening.)

Back Home

After 12 hours on the road today, I am back home with lots of stories and lot of photos to share with you in the next few days.

For now, I am going to get some sleep.

A Woman's Gotta Know Her Limitations

A woman's got to know her limitations; free time and Internet access this weekend are definitely limitations!

I have lots to say, but it will have to wait until I have time to key it all into my Mac and have reliable Internet access to post it on the blog.

But, in a nutshell, it has been a very positive experience.

Internet Access and Lack Thereof

(I wrote the following this morning. I finally got Internet access this afternoon --- thank you ARRL.)

Internet access from my hotel in Dayton was brief --- about an hour Thursday afternoon.

I hoped to get access at the Hara Arena, but no luck so far.

Last night went well. The spouse of one of the other board members was present. I have known her for years having met her at other ham radio events, but she had not met the new version of me. I am sure her husband had prepared her, but I did not know what to expect.

When she saw me, she greeted me with a big hug and we chatted throughout the evening, so I guess she is ok with the new me.

By the way, here is the requisite fashion "news:" Yesterday, I wore my gray sleeveless sweater dress, gold scarf, black tights, and flats. Today, I wore my black jacquard sheath, black tights, pearls, and black patent mid-heel pumps with white piping. I also brought a pair of flats, but have not switched footwear, yet.

Chivalry Lives!

I arrived in Dayton at 1:30 PM after four hours on the road. Checked into my hotel and found that the Internet was initially off, but it finally came up about 15 minutes ago and it is very slow.

The wifi signal was so weak in my room that I thought that might be the problem, so I took my iBook down to the lobby. The signal was not much better there, but the Internet was accessible.

Two gents (guests, not hotel employees) came by to ask if I was having trouble; they were happy to inform me that the Internet had just come up. So, chivalry is not dead --- you just have to dress en femme to find it!

I think I am going to crash for awhile before dinner and the board of directors meeting.

8 Hours

After eight hours on the road, I am ensconced on the Pennsylvania-Ohio state line for the night. Four more hours on the road tomorrow and I will be in Dayton.

On My Way

I will be out the door and on my way to Ohio shortly after publishing this post.

Bon voyage en femme!

You're Going the Wrong Way!

Before embarking on an extended time out en femme (like my trip to Hamvention this week), there is always some trepidation.

This morning, I awoke at 4 AM and could not fall back to sleep because I was thinking about all that could go wrong during my trip. By the time I got out of bed nearly two hours later, I was so agitated that I seriously considered cancelling my plans.

Mind you, all of my past extended times out en femme have been wonderful positive and affirming experiences with nary a problem.

So why do I worry?

It is my nature to worry. Always has been. And my biggest worry is that since I have never had any problems in the past, I am way overdue to have a problem.

That's the half-empty glass perspective; I need to concentrate on the half-full glass perspective, which is that since I never had a problem, I must be doing things right and if I continue to do things right, my track record should continue unblemished.

Now, that should be my mantra!

En Femme En Dayton

In case anyone is curious, here is my schedule for the femulating portion of this week.

Wednesday
• Drive from Connecticut to Western Pennsylvania.
• Stay overnight in Western Pennsylvania.

Thursday
• Drive from Western Pennsylvania to Dayton, Ohio.
• Check-in to my hotel.
• Attend my board of director's meeting.

Friday
• Attend Hamvention (work booth, attend presentations, visit other booths).
• Attend our annual Hamvention banquet dinner.

Saturday
• Attend Hamvention (work booth, attend presentations, visit other booths).
• Attend another Hamvention banquet dinner

Sunday
• Drive from Dayton to Connecticut
• Sleep

Sounds exciting?

Considering that I will spend most of that schedule en femme is exciting to me. The opportunity to be my female self 24/7 for a few days more than makes up for the 1500-mile roadtrip between here and there and back, which is a drag. Maybe next year I will fly.

My life as a man in a skirt

I've worn women's clothing and cosmetics since the age of 16 -- but that doesn't mean what you might expect

Yesterday, Salon posted this article, which "is an adapted excerpt from Jon-Jon Goulian's memoir The Man in the Gray Flannel Skirt, available from Random House on May 17."

I read the article and identified with some of the things the author wrote, but not everything.

And so it goes.

Shimmering With Pride

I was also shimmering with pride after I read this story in The Barrie Examiner about Kyle Rehling, a transgendered youth, who "holds the distinction of being Barrie's first transgender student mayor."

Read the all about it here.

It's Alive!

"Femulate" is this week's "Word of the Week" over at the always informative and entertaining Jessica Who? blog. (Thank you, Jessica!)

Coincidentally, I was Googling something trans-related yesterday and I ended up on a forum where some girls were discussing something or other that was trans-related, and one of the girls used the word "femulate" in her forum posting. She was not referring to this blog, but was using femulate as a verb.

And that was not the first time I have seen the word used in that way.

What have I done?

As Henry Frankenstein once remarked, "It's alive!"

Technical Difficulties at Blogger

(updated below)
Blogger has been experiencing some technical difficulties that affected some of the blogs it hosts including this one.
Early last evening, I could not view this blog at all.
Later last evening, I could view this blog, but I could not log in to manage it (e.g., post new posts, moderate comments, etc.). The problem persisted until early this afternoon.
UPDATE:  Due to the technical difficulties mentioned above, Blogger lost unmoderated comments. I have four in my e-mail in-box awaiting moderation, but Blogger does not recognize them now. The four are from Anonymous,  Adriana, JohnH, and Meg; so don't think I am rejecting your comments, folks, Blogger has lost them!

En Femme 24/7 Four Days Next Week

2010 Dayton Hamvention

By this time next week, I will be well on my way driving 730 miles to Dayton, Ohio to attend Hamvention en femme.

I have attended Hamvention 22 times in the past 33 years, but last year was the first time I attended en femme. (You can read about that experience here).

Last year's attendance en femme was an affirming experience. As I concluded last year, "Overall, the weekend worked out great. Everyone I encountered accepted me one way or another.

"All my friends and acquaintances were very ok with the new me.

"The strangers who engaged me throughout the weekend, hams and civilians alike, accepted me as a woman, trans or otherwise.

"I could not ask for anything more."

Truth be told, I could ask for more... from me.

Last year, I had prepared ahead of time. I came out to the people I would encounter frequently throughout the weekend, like my editor and the guys, who would be staffing my organization's booth alongside me. They expected me to be en femme, so I had no problems facing them en femme.

On the other hand, I shyed away from other people I knew at Hamvention, who were not in the know. I was unsure how they would react, so I did not bother waking up the sleeping dogs and did not confront them with a new version of me.

This year, I plan to be more outgoing and show my pretty face (!) to everyone I know at Hamvention. I expect that most folks will just shrug their shoulders and be ok with it, but I will be prepared for worse reactions.

I'll let you know how it goes.

She Won't Mind

Suits Me Fine

Call me "Jamie." It is not my real name; it’s the name I go by when I dress up like a boy.

I dress like a boy because I am a crossdresser. I prefer male clothing to female clothing. In addition, I try to act like a boy. I want to be masculine, not feminine.

I want to be able to go out in society and pass as a male, but my female characteristics are difficult to disguise, so passing is a tough goal to achieve. I will keep on trying to improve my presentation because I know it can be done.

Many crossdressers have websites where they display photos of themselves crossdressed and many of the photos are very convincing. These females look just like boys, so I know passing is possible. I may not be able to fool all of the people all of the time, but it would be nice if I could fool some of the people some of the time.

Also, there are websites that provide information on how to pass as a male. They describe how to walk, talk, and act like a boy; how to style your hair to look like a boy; what undergarments to wear to achieve a male form; etc., etc. There are also online stores that cater to crossdressers where you can buy everything you need to "express your masculine side."

My crossdressing started around the age of puberty. I don't know where the idea came from; it just popped in my head while I was in the bathroom getting ready to take a shower and there was one of Dad's suits hanging on the shower curtain rod.

That pinstriped suit called my name and I could not resist trying it on. It fit me like a glove. I felt so masculine wearing it and I could not take my eyes off myself preening in the full-length mirror mounted on the bathroom door.

Suddenly, I felt very guilty and was worried that I might be caught, so I slipped out of the suit as quickly as possible, hung it back on its hangar, and took a cold shower.

Since then, I dress in my Dad's and brother's clothes whenever I am home alone.

I prefer my brother's clothes because he is only two years older than I, so he dresses like a boy my age dresses, whereas my Dad's clothes are more adult, i.e., clothing that an adult male wears.

But Dad's wardrobe includes items that my brother's wardrobe does not, so when I dress, I borrow items from both my Dad and my brother. For example, my brother has no suits, whereas Dad has six suits and I guess after that first crossdressing experience in the bathroom, I have a thing for suits.

My favorite suit is one Dad wears when he and Mom go out to a fancy restaurant or to a dinner party. I like it because it has a more youthful look than his other suits, which are more conservative, i.e., the kinds of suits you wear to the office or to church.

Dad claims that that suit is a "channel knock-off," whatever that means? The fabric of the suit is a rosy pink boucle with blue undertones. It has a cropped jacket with four buttons and four pockets and a pencil skirt that’s 20 inches long.

Dad also has a matching pair of pink pumps with a 4-inch stiletto heel; he looks so masculine in that outfit! And, wow, my Dad has great legs; he sure shows them off in that suit with its skirt about four inches above his knees, wearing off-white pantyhose perched on those 4-inch pumps.

Dad is a beautiful male. He is a platinum blonde and always looks great no matter what hairdo he wears. His makeup skills are excellent, too, with huge eyes and full pouty lips.

I try to emulate Dad when I crossdress. And sometimes when I do my makeup just so, I look a lot like him.

Andrej Pejic: New School Male or Old School Female?

Juan at New Male Fashion For The Alternative Man blog has featured some amazing images of Andrej Pejic during the past few weeks (that's where the image accompanying this post came from).

Andrej seems to look more feminine in each new photo shoot. Has he permanently switched sides and joined the other team yet?

Anyway, here are links to those recent Andrej image postings on Juan's blog:

• Pejic for Dossier

• Andrej's Roles

• Pejic for Izzue 2

• Gypsum Boy

• Pejic in Polish

• Wouldn't It Be Loverly?

• Pejic Undercover

In the Wouldn't It Be Loverly? post, Juan wrote the following about Andrej:

I know that a few of my readers won't approve of Andrej Pejic being called a New Male. At least not in this editorial... starting with the title. "There's not much left of a male here", they might argue. "He's way more than wearing feminine stuff: he's unmistakably portraying a feminine character". "He's even wearing a breast-enhancing corset". "He's definitely in drag", they will say.

On the other hand, I'm sure that most of you people, like myself, will simply delight in his wonderful good looks. After all, for many decades now women fashion magazines have been promoting the "boyfriend's look", or "androgynous fashion" for the ladies. Isn't it time for the "girlfriend's look" for us?

What's more: aren't some of you dying to show up to a party in any of these getups? Be honest: Wouldn't that be lovely? But... would you look just as gorgeous?

My thoughts exactly!

2 Million Hits!

(Brearley Collection Photo)

The Femulate hit counter climbed past the 2 million mark early this morning! All I have to say is "Wow!" and thank you all for coming back every day to read and see what I post here.