Still Reaching Out En Femme

Yesterday, I described how I became involved with outreach, that is, the process of educating the civilian population about the trans community.

Today, I will describe a typical outreach session (like the ones I have been involved with at local colleges and universities).

During the past five years, I have participated in outreaches where there was only one other person doing outreach with me and at the other extreme, with as many as ten other people, but on the average, there are about five and they usually represent a good cross-section of the trans community, that is, pre-op, post-op, no-op, male-to-female, female-to-male, etc.

When we walk into the classroom, most eyes are on us. In my the back of my mind, I think that some of the students are expecting us to look like refugees from The Jerry Springer Show (see photo). We are far from that and that is part of their education.

At every outreach I have experienced, there are always comments from students that they were surprised how average we all were, that is, average in a good way. We were not freaks --- we were just like them.

Usually the session starts with each of us presenting a short biography with emphasis on being trans. Then, the students ask us pertinent questions.

Some questions are "deeper" than others.

At one end of the spectrum are questions like "How did you choose your female name?" or "How did you learn to walk so well in high heels?"

At the other end of the spectrum are questions like "Are you happy with your male body image?" or "You dress so attractively; are you trying to attract a man or a woman?"

Sometimes I find the questions amusing like the following exchange:

Student A, "Are You married?"

Me, "Yes."

Student B, "Are you married... to a woman?"

Me, "Yes, again."

Which brings up another revelation about trans people that every outreach I have experienced encounters: that we are not necessarily gay. Going in, most of the students believe that all trans people are gay, but they go away from our sessions with the knowledge that being trans does not mean that you are also gay.

Outreach is a rewarding experience. The reward is that it gives me the opportunity to spread the truth. Hopefully, the students we reach out to learn the truth and maybe spread the word to their friends and family. And maybe someday, this slow domino effect will result in a society that has an open-mind about its transgender brothers and sisters.

Reaching Out En Femme

What's "outreach?"

According to Wikipedia, "outreach is an effort by an organization or group to connect its ideas or practices to the efforts of other organizations, groups, specific audiences or the general public. Unlike marketing, outreach does not inherently revolve around a product or strategies to increase market share. Typically non-profits, civic groups, and churches engage in outreach.

"Outreach often takes on an educational component (i.e., the dissemination of ideas), but it is increasingly common for organizations to conceive of their outreach strategy as a two-way street. In this case outreach is also framed as engagement, rather than simple dissemination/education."

I did my first outreach in May 2006 (see photo) after being a member of Connecticut Outreach Society (COS) for over 16 years. COS has two components: to support the trans community and to educate civilians about the trans community.

When I volunteered to do outreach, I had ulterior motives. I was looking for an opportunity to go out en femme that was relatively safe, but beyond the safety net of a support group meeting.

A lot of the outreach performed by COS took place at colleges and universities. I figured that these were safe places because they usually are bastions of diversity and tolerance. So I asked to be included on the outreach team the next time COS did outreach at a college or university.

A year or two later, I also joined the Stonewall Speakers outreach team.

Colleges, universities, and other organizations contact COS or Stonewall Speakers when they have a need for outreach. Then COS or Stonewall Speakers contacts its volunteers (like me) to find out who is available to do outreach at the required time and place.

Between COS and Stonewall Speakers, I receive an assignment to do outreach about four times per year. As a result, I have done outreach at Saint Joseph College, Southern Connecticut State University, University of Connecticut, University of Hartford. and Wesleyan College. By the way, if I was not employed full-time, I would be then available for additional assignments because most occur during the weekday.

Tomorrow, I will describe what happens at outreach.

Trans Airline Stewardesses

Hot on the heels of Andrej Pejic modeling a bridal gown on a Paris fashion show runway, we find a new Thai airline, PC Air, hiring "ladyboys" as airline stewardesses. Initilly, three lucky ladyboys were hired from over 100 trans applicants

By the way, the ladyboy "flight attendants will wear special gold-coloured 'third sex' name badges to help passengers and immigration staff to easily identify the gender they are faced with."

Thank you Gwen for alerting me to this story, which appeared in The Telegraph.

First Holy Communion

Molly and Desmond were elated that they were able to pull it off.

Their son Clarissa was about to make his first holy communion, but he could not wear a dress to the ceremonies. The archdiocese insisted that boys had to wear blue suits (jackets and trousers) despite the fact that in this day and age, most parents raised their sons as sissies.

Molly and Desmond pleaded Clarissa's case to their parish's pastor, Father Maxine, and to the parish nun who organized the first holy communion, Sister Bernard. There they found sympathy, but not much hope for their cause.

Then there was a miracle!

The archbishop of the diocese retired and Pope Raylene II appointed a woman, Archbishop Rhonda, as the new archbishop.

With this turn of events, Father Maxine and Sister Bernard contacted the archbishop about the dress requirements and in response, she decreed that both boys and girls could wear dresses to their first holy communion ceremonies.

So it came to pass that on the Sunday of Clarissa's first holy communion, Clarissa shed tears of joy when he paraded down the church aisle with the other sissies wearing adorable first holy communion dresses, while Molly and Desmond proudly looked on wearing his and her skirt suits, (Molly's in baby blue and Desmond's in dusty pink); a complete feminine family just as Goddess intended.

Just Average

(A New Yorker cartoon parody.)

All-Woman

I have lived in the same area of Connecticut all my life and I have never seen a month of winter weather like the past 31 days! In that time, we had seven snowstorms resulting in a snowfall total of over 5 feet!

The weather has played havoc on my plans to go out. Yesterday, I mentioned cancelling my day trip to First Event because of the weather. Other plans have met similar fates.

It snowed again (10 inches) early yesterday morning, so I worked from home rather than commute to the office.

While clearing the snow from my driveway at noontime, I decided I had had enough; I made up my mind to go out en femme in the evening.

Late in the afternoon, I shaved, showered, did my makeup, and dressed to go out. I wore my Victoria's Secret green sweater dress, brown tights, open-toed snakeskin high heel pumps, and matching snakeskin patterned scarf. I also wore my white fake fur jacket and brown designer knock-off bag.

If you think wearing high heels is an adventure, try it when there is snow, slush, and ice in your path. But I toughed it out for the sake of fashion!

I drove to a very nice Chinese restaurant in the next town. It was about one-quarter full of customers. No one paid me any mind (that I noticed).

My waiter was very polite and called me "Miss." I had a very pleasant dinner and at the end, the waiter presented me with a free dessert: a ball of coconut ice cream.

After dinner, I touched up my lipstick and drove to a nearby Fashion Bug. It was very quiet in the “Bug” --- only one other customer.

The sales staff was very attentive. One saleswoman tried to convince me to be measured and fitted for a pair of a figure-hugging jeans.

I was interested, but I was not sure how I could try on jeans when I was wearing a dress. I had no spare top, so I figured that I would have to strip down to my bra and body shaper. Normally, that would not bother me, but I had not removed enough body hair to strip down to that degree, so I politely turned her down.

I spent about a half hour browsing through the store. I really wasn't looking for anything in particular, but I did find some clip-on earrings that I liked and purchased.

At check-out, I used my Fashion Bug credit card. The cashier, who was the same person who tried to fit me for jeans, asked for additional identification.

I assumed the she was aware I was a male en femme, so I thought nothing about handing her my driver's license.

She looked at it and asked, "Is this your husband?"

"Uh oh," I thought to myself.

"No, that's me," I replied.

She finally realized reality and burst out, "Oh my, God, you look fantastic!"

"Thank-you," I said.

As she was checking me out, she added, "You know, we have other male customers, who dress as women, and I spot them right away, but I never would have guessed you were a guy! You not only look like a woman --- you move like a woman, you talk like a woman, you act like a woman --- you’re all-woman!”

With that, my high heels never touched the slush as I walked on air out of the store and drove home.

New Do

I planned to spend the day at First Event last Friday, but I canceled my plans because the weather forecast did not look promising.

When it snows, I avoid driving especially over long distances. (First Event is about 130 miles away, which is a very long distance in a snowstorm.)

As it turned out, it did snow early Friday morning, so I did not cancel my plans for nothing.

I figured that one day at First Event would have cost me about $75 (including meals and a tank of gas to get there and back).

With 75 unspent dollars burning a hole in my knock-off designer bag, I decided to invest the money in a new hairdo.

Here Comes the Male Bride

This femulation is so amazing that words escape me, so I will let Pedestrian TV do the talking, "The expeditious career trajectory of Australian man-model Andrej Pejic has reached rock star status in the fashion industry after he closed Jean Paul Gaultier's show - in a tulle-ensconced bridal gown no less! - at Paris Couture Fashion Week yesterday."

Now For Something Slighly Different

Meg of Call Me Meg fame sent me this link to a beauty pageant that included women competing as men, as well as the usual men competing as women.

The "girls" shaved their legs, painted their nails, and wore their highest heels for the January 20 event, which was a fundraiser for the Medical College of Georgia Children's Hospital.

Beyond His Portfolio

(A New Yorker cartoon parody.)

Gender Ambiguity in Advertising

"See those two hot blonds in Jean Paul Gaultier's new ad? Surprise! It's not two ladies."

Read and see more on The Huffington Post.

Feminization of Male Fashions

Last week, androgynous fashion model Andrej Pejic walked the runway in a men's fashion show wearing an outfit that included a belted fur dress, high heel pumps, stockings, jewelry, makeup, and a Veronica Lake peek-a-boo hairdo.

In case you missed it, I'll repeat it: he was modeling this decidedly "feminine" outfit in a MEN'S fashion show!

What's going on here?

Does this mean we will soon find dresses and high heel pumps on sale at our favorite men's boutique?

Or is this just another anomaly in the fashion world, which is chock full of anomalies?

During the past few years, fashion designers have been pushing the envelope in the men's fashion arena by showing skirts and dresses for males.

In the more distant past (the last half of the 20th Century), showing masculine skirts and dresses grabbed headlines, but few customers.

Things have changed and males are buying and wearing skirts and dresses today. Not a lot, but a few. You likely will not see a guy in a skirt on the streets of Podunk, but visit some place more cosmopolitan like New York City and you will occasionally see a male wearing a masculine skirted garment.

Masculine skirts and dresses are one thing, but the outfit that Andrej Pejic modeled last week was a horse of a different gender; the only thing masculine about it was the fact that a male was modeling it.

Does this very "feminine" male outfit mean that designers have pushed the envelope so hard that has broken wide open?

It depends.

The designer breaking the envelope is Jean Paul Gaultier, and he has been playing with traditional gender roles in his shows like forever. So it is no surprise that Gaultier would show the "feminine" outfit that Andrej Pejic modeled.

Was Gaultier seriously proffering total feminization for males or was he playing gender games again using a very pretty androgynous model?

Maybe a little bit of both.

Anyway, I promise to keep doing my part.

More or Less Womanly

(A New Yorker cartoon parody.)

Becoming Is In the Eye Of the Beholder

(A New Yorker cartoon parody.)

Andrej Pejic Femulates in Men's Fashion Show

Paris — Androgynous fashion model Andrej Pejic walked the runway yesterday in Jean Paul Gaultier's men's fashion show wearing a dress, heels, and other accoutrements usually associated with females.

Amazing! Isn't this a great time to be a femulator!

German Tootsie

Hansi e-mailed me that a German version of the film Tootsie is in the works. The name of the film is Rubbeldiekatz and stars Matthias Schweighöfers in the role made famous by Dustin Hoffman in 1982.

Hansi wrote that some weeks ago, she read in the news that Schweighöfers started training to walk in heels and during the 'Fashion Week AW 2011/12' in Berlin, he showed up femulated to film some scenes during that event.

The accompanying photo is the actor as he appeared at Fashion Week. You can find more photos here.

In my humble opinion, I much prefer Schweighöfers' femulation to Dustin Hoffman's.

To Do: One Down, Ten To Go

I have already accomplished one of the eleven items on my January 1st To Do List: get rid of my back fat

I learned how at Fantasia Fair back in October when I attended the "Essence of Style: Image Consulting" workshop run by Hera Navassardian. During the workshop Q&A, I asked how to get rid of back fat.

One of Hera's assistants, who also femulates on occasion, explained how she does it: she hides it using shapewear.

I made a mental note.

I recalled the mental note when I tried on the Victoria's Secret sweater dress I bought myself for Christmas. It fit like a glove and revealed my back fat.

Coincidentally, the new Avon catalog was selling a Bali shapewear camisole that let you wear your own bra, while claiming that it "Flattens tummy, smoothes back… solves dilemmas."

I ordered an XL in black.

When it arrived, I thought I was going to need a bigger cami, but it stretched to fit and worked as advertised: my back fat was gone!

I am going to order a second one in beige.

Does that make me ‘Charlotte Sr.’?

(A New Yorker cartoon parody.)

Facebook Now Sharing Your Address and Phone Number

Updated Below

I just deleted my Facebook account after reading this article on Salon, which revealed that Facebook is now sharing my home address and telephone number with third party developers.

"In a platform upgrade on Friday, Facebook announced that these 'new user object fields' were free game for anyone and even gave detailed instructions on how to access users' addresses and phone numbers."

That was the last straw.

Although I had over a thousand Facebook "friends," I rarely used the service, so deleting my account was not a big sacrifice.

By the way, Facebook makes it easy to deactivate your account, which will temporarily hide your information until you reactivate it, but they make it more difficult to permanently delete your account.

So, here is a short-cut for permanently deleting your account: log in to your Facebook account, paste the following URL into your browser:

http://www.facebook.com/help/contact.php?show_form=delete_account

and follow the subsequent directions.

UPDATE: After reading some of your comments, I reconsidered. Luckily, my account deletion did not take affect yet (it can take up to 14 days), so I reactivated my account and made my personal information as impersonal as possible.

Laddies First

(A New Yorker cartoon parody.)