Stana, 13 November 2010, Hartford

Avoiding a Black and Blue Friday

Thanksgiving is a difficult holiday for girls (male or female) trying to maintain their figures.

I did not want to be blue on "Black Friday," so I refused to get on the bathroom scale on Friday. Saturday morning, I gritted my teeth and climbed on the scale; I was happy to see that I gained only one pound.

It should be a piece of cake to lose that pound in time for my next outing en femme on Tuesday, when I will speak at two human sexuality classes at a local university. I also hope to do some holiday shopping and visit a jolly old elf.

As usual, I am looking forward to doing outreach at the two classes as well as experiencing a day when I will be myself.

Bras for Girls, Bras for Boys, Bras for Everyone

A female acquaintance obtained employment as a salesperson at a local Victoria's Secret store. Her first day on the job was Wednesday and she had one male customer (in boy mode) who wanted to be measured for a bra.

Today will be her second day on the job. I wonder how many boys buying bras for themselves she will encounter today, or was Wednesday's encounter an anomaly.

By the way, her store is the same Victoria's Secret store that I frequent.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Transgender Thanksgiving Trivia

Did you know that Provincetown Harbor is where the Pilgrims initially anchored the Mayflower in 1620 after their ocean voyage from England? (Provincetown is the site of Fantasia Fair, the longest-running transgender event of its kind in the New World.)

What Were You Made Of?

Among the books I owned as a child was a volume of nursery rhymes. That book included the following verse.

What Are Little Boys Made Of?

What are little boys made of?
What are little boys made of?
Frogs and snails,
And puppy-dogs' tails;
That's what little boys are made of.

What are little girls made of?
What are little girls made of?
Sugar and spice,
And all that's nice;
That's what little girls are made of.

As a child, I found frogs and snails repugnant and I was afraid of dogs. On  the other hand, I loved sugar and spice. Also, I preferred things that were nice versus things that were not so nice, which often seemed to be preferred by my male contemporaries.

I was a little girl, but I did not know it. Luckily, I figured it out after I grew up to be a big girl.

Black Velvet (Not Friday) On My Mind

While I was admiring the holiday dresses online at Spiegel this morning I had a flashback.

I recalled driving around town in the mid-1970s and encountering a billboard for Black Velvet Whisky featuring a blonde in a black velvet dress sprawled seductively across 50 feet of horizontal advertising space.

I had seen similar advertisements in magazines, but this was my first Black Velvet Girl billboard encounter. The combination of the model's beauty, the contrast of between her blonde do and her black dress, and her immense size was dazzling. I kept an eye out for more Black Velvet billboards during my automobile outings and during the next half-dozen years or so, I had many encounters.

Guys encountering such advertisements might wish that they could bed a Black Velvet model. Gals encountering such advertisements might wish they could look like a Black Velvet model.

I wished I could do both.

Girl Time

After I finished the yard work yesterday afternoon, I had some girl time for myself.

Tackling My Cosmetics Box

After my last Sephora shopping spree, I could no longer stuff all my warpaint in the Wal*Mart fishing tackle box that I use to store my cosmetics, so it was time to do some housecleaning.

I threw out a slew of old used mascaras. I also moved a load of free samples cosmetics that I may never use into the old shoebox where I keep such stuff. (Someday I will have to clean out the shoebox!)

After all was said and done, I had room to spare in the tackle box and was even able to close its lid without any effort. (The photo above is after housecleaning.)

"Leggy" No More

Friday, I exchanged e-mail with my friend and fashion consultant Patty.

The main fashion topic was my short gray sweater dress and how to wear it without affirming my nickname ("Leggy"). Patty made some suggestions and late yesterday afternoon, I was able to try them out.

She was right on the money and now I have two "new" outfits to wear my next two times out en femme.

A New Twist in Co-Ed Dorms

Stana’s Stuff

TGIF

I love the Friday before Thanksgiving. It is on the cusp of a weekend, followed by a short work week and a four-day weekend!

TDOR

Although there is a Transgender Day of Remembrance event nearby tomorrow, a scheduling conflict prevents me from attending. Family comes first.

Femulate Her

I select the images I use in the “Femulate Her” sidebar for a variety of reasons. Usually, because I like the outfit; it is something I wish I owned or could wear.

Occasionally, I select the image because in addition to liking the outfit, the model has physical attributes that resemble a transwoman. Today's “Femulate Her” image is an example of that in my humble opinion; your mileage may vary.

Outreach

Professor Schildroth e-mailed me to ask if I could do outreach at her two human sexuality classes. I happily accepted her invitation, so I will be visiting Southern Connecticut State University soon.

30 Rock

I love 30 Rock; it is one of the very few television shows I always watch.

It seems that during the past year or so, every episode has at least one trans reference. Last night’s episode had two.

Maybe I don’t watch enough television and trans references are more common than I think, but it seems to me that 30 Rock has a lot more than the other television shows I frequent, not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Girl Talk

Yesterday, a co-worker who knows about Stana wore black calf-length boots with a 3- or 4-inch stiletto heel.

I said I liked her boots and that led to a girl-to-girl conversation about boots, footwear, and the local consignment shops.

I showed her my photo from Saturday night and she loved my dress and shoes, which led to further girl talk about high heel slingbacks and the pitfalls of wearing them.

I enjoyed the girl talk.

And I love being a girl!

Just Following Orders

Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

I've been a very good girl this year, so I hope you will grant me one wish. For Christmas, I want the dress that Anne Hathaway wore on the red carpet last night. It does not have to be an original, a knock-off would be fine, but please Santa gift me that dress and I promise to be a very good girl next year, too!

Love,

Stana

And It Suits Him Fine

Avoiding Foot Pain From High Heels

“What women (or femulator – Ed.) doesn't love the way her legs look in a dress with a great pair of high heels? It creates a longer line, great calve's curve and sleek appearance. With the holiday season creeping in, there will be more parties, galas and long work days with your feet balancing on the most adorned shoes. Although some women will wear flats or sneakers to and from events, the fact remains we are still wearing our heels.”

So, fitness expert Andrea Metcalf describes three simple steps to avoid foot pain without forsaking the joy of wearing heels. Read all about it here in The Huffington Post.

Transgender Day of Remembrance This Saturday

Saturday, November 20 is the official Transgender Day of Remembrance. On that day, transgenders and their allies all over the world will honor our brothers and sisters whose lives were snuffed out solely because they were trans.

If you wish to participate in the Day, the Transgender Day of Remembrance web site lists the location and specifics of all the planned events. There are a lot to choose from; I count 15 in New England alone and 14 in the Tri-State Area (CT-NJ-NY).

Unmentionable

Coming a Long Way

Reflecting on my Saturday night out, a few thoughts come to mind.

•   Signs on the doors of the men's and women's restrooms declared that the restrooms were "trans-inclusive." I had a laugh when I saw the signs because in Connecticut, those signs are like carrying coals to Newcastle. Years ago, Connecticut courts decided that its citizens could use the restroom facility that matched their gender presentation (if you’re dressed like a boy, use the men’s room; if you’re dressed like a girl, use the ladies’ room). I guess the signs were there to clue in the clueless, but I was amused nonetheless.

•   While I was dancing, I noticed an attractive 30-something woman dancing nearby who was checking me out. Our eyes met an inordinate number of times. Finally she flashed a smile in my direction and I returned the favor. She wore no make-up and she was dancing with another woman, who I assumed was her date or partner. Her dance partner had her back to me, but when the song ended and they walked off the dance floor hand-in-hand, I was able to see her partner. She resembled me! She was a tall 50-something blonde wearing full make-up and a short hair style very similar to mine. Go figure.

•   The photo accompanying this post is another of me dressed at home before heading out to Hartford Saturday night.

•   Going out en femme is now so natural to me that I don't think about it. Saturday night, I interacted with civilians both male and female without giving it a thought.

That is in contrast to my outings in the not too distant past when I'd be inside my female embodiment wondering if the person I am about to encounter is going to figure me out or whether the person I just encountered did figure me out or Goddess forbid, if the next person I am about to encounter is male and is there anyway I can avoid him!

Those days age long gone.

Now that I am not thinking about how other people react to me, I am able to let my personality out of the box and really be me. For example, while I was waiting for the elevator at the hotel hosting the dinner-dance, I made small talk with two guys who were also waiting for the elevator and I even cracked a joke that made them laugh.

All I have to say is that I've come a long way, baby, and it is wonderful!

Saturday Night Alive

Last night, I attended One Big Event, which is the annual dinner dance fundraiser for the Hartford Gay and Lesbian Health Collective.

After mulling it over for a few days and reading your suggestions on the matter, I decided to wear my purple disco dot trapeze dress rather than my charcoal portrait collar dress. I am glad I did because besides feeling fabulous in that dress, I ran into a woman at the event who was wearing a charcoal portrait collar dress identical to mine!

I had a wonderful time at the event.

There were over 430 people in attendance including the gay mayor of Hartford, Pedro Segarra. Everyone dressed to kill with guys in tuxes and gals in gowns and cocktail dresses; it was a dazzling sight to behold.

I sat at a table with six of my trans friends and their SOs and two gay couples. The conversation and dinner were very good as was the entertainment, which included a female-to-male transgender comedian, Ian Harvie. It was very refreshing to hear trans-oriented humor from the trans-perspective.

Along with the dress, I wore black mist pantyhose and my black patent slingback open toe platform shoes (photo above). I received a few compliments about my outfit and more about my legs!

Transgender Givenchy Model Lea T’s New Magazine Cover

Transgender fashion model Lea T appears on the new cover of Lurve magazine, wearing couture Givenchy.

Finding Your Voice

Today, Salon.com published this interesting story about transgender people finding their voice at the University of North Carolina in Greensboro.

"To me, there's nothing worse than seeing someone dressed as a woman, a beautiful woman. Then she opens her mouth and she sounds like a sailor. It's very off-putting for people."

Read all about it here.

Nightmares in Femulation