Out Last Night or How the Femulating Fashionista Fouled Up

This girl went out last night.

Days ago, I decided to wear the gray sweater dress I wore last Tuesday in Provincetown. I changed my mind for two reasons: (1) it is short (maybe too short for walking around the mall) and (2) in consideration of the image consultant who would be speaking at the support group meeting I planned to attend, I thought something more business-like was in order. (I was under the impression that most of her clients were Boston female executives.)

So, I decided to wear my Chanel suit knock-off.

I really don't like suits too much; I don't like the way suits look on me, but I thought that the occasion called for a suit and I had not worn the Chanel knock-off yet...

But what shoes should I wear? I thought that beige shoes would be best (to match the beige buttons of the suit). I own two pairs of beige shoes. I really don't like either pair too much, but that was all I had, so I selected the pair that more closely matched the beige of the buttons.

I dressed in my reluctant outfit and went to the mall.

As I walked through Nordstrom's, I checked myself out in their floor-to-ceiling mirrors and regretted my choice of footwear. Beige was too bright and looked wrong with the rest of the outfit, but I continued on.

First stop was Victoria's Secret to buy a new bra. I wanted one like the one I bought last December. Called "Plunge," it is the best bra I have ever own.

Evidently, they discontinued Plunge, but the saleswoman helped me find a bra that was similar called "Very Sexy Plunge." It looks the same as Plunge; I will try it on later today and find out for sure if it is the same.

Next stop was Sephora where I bought some makeup I was running low on (moisturizer, eyebrow pencil, and foundation). While I was checking out, I saw the Sephora saleswoman, who performed a makeover on me four years ago and was so instrumental in changing my attitude about going out en femme with her words, ""You only have one life to live and you should live it like you want. If someone has a problem, then it is their problem, not yours."

I wanted to thank her, but by the time I finished checking out, she had disappeared.

I did some window-shopping, looked at a few dresses in Nordstrom's, then I returned to my Subaru to drive to the support group meeting.

Before arriving at the meeting hall, I stopped at CVS to buy a bottle of water.

There were a lot of cars parked around the meeting hall, so I assumed attendance would be high. I was correct; the place was packed with approximately 30 attendees.

At 8 PM, Ginger Burr, the image consultant, began her presentation and it ran about 90 minutes.

I asked her to critique my outfit and she agreed that the shoes were wrong. She also suggested opening the top button of my jacket and wearing a shorter strand of pearls.

Her presentation was very informative and I learned a lot. She emphasized that we should only wear things we like that make us look beautiful and make us feel good about ourselves. With that in mind, I should have worn the gray sweater dress.

Out Tonight

This girl is going out tonight.

First stop will be the mall where I want to buy a new bra at Victoria's Secret and makeup at Sephora.

Second stop will be a meeting of the Connecticut Outreach Society (COS).

At Fantasia Fair last week, my long-time friend Robin, who is the COS program director, invited me to attend the meeting. It will feature image consultant Ginger Burr, who will talk about our female presentations.

It should be a fun and informative night out.

Wednesday Wanderings

A Fix For Feeding Femulate to Facebook

I thank everyone who responded to my plea for help on how to feed this blog to Facebook.

Petra of Voyages en Rose fame suggested I use Google Reader as an intermediary.

Here are the steps to accomplish it:

1. In Google Reader, subscribe to the blog you want to feed to Facebook.

2. In the Google Reader settings, under the Send To options, put a check mark in the Facebook check box.

3. In your web browser, set www.google.com as an exception in your pop-up blocker (if you are using one).

4. In Google Reader, select a blog post to feed to Facebook by clicking on the Send To link displayed below the blog post. ("Facebook" should appear as a menu option when you click on Send To.)

If all goes well, the selected blog post will appear on your Facebook page. Note that it is not an automatic feed; you will have to manually select each blog post you wish to send to Facebook. It is better than nothing, which is what I had until Petra came to my rescue.

A Good Thing About Glaucoma

Yesterday, my eye doctor tested me for glaucoma.

My doctor explained that if I do have glaucoma, he will prescribe eye drops to hold off vision loss. He then listed the side effects of the eye drops. When he mentioned eyelash growth, I reacted quickly with a big smile and two thumbs up.

The doctor seemed confused by my positive reaction to that side effect. Meanwhile, I thought to myself that the woman that I am is taking over my life completely and any pretenses of being a male are falling by the wayside.

Another Fantasia Fair Photo

The photo above is from a week ago, i.e., my last night in Provincetown when I dined at Front Street restaurant with some new and old friends. 

Sew What?

Mom owned a Singer sewing machine and sewed beautiful dresses for her and my sister.

Often, I would peruse the dress patterns that were always lying around and wish that Mom would sew something for me. (She never did, although I never asked. In my heart, I think she would have if I had only asked.)

By watching Mom do it so many times, I learned how to use a needle and thread well enough to sew on a button and make minor repairs. I never got the hang of using a sewing machine, but once upon a time I did stitch together a micro miniskirt from scraps of red satin cloth that Mom had used for some other project.

Which brings me to a cool blog I came across recently called “Male Pattern Boldness,” which bills itself as "one man's sewing journey into the fantastic."

Peter Lappin is the man on the sewing journey and he describes his blog thusly, "I started sewing in June, 2009 and I am hooked. I sew all my own clothes from vintage patterns and sew exclusively on vintage sewing machines, including a 1920 Singer treadle! I sew for myself, my partner Michael, my two chihuahuas, Freddy and Willy, and my identical cousin, model Cathy Lane. Welcome to Male Pattern Boldness, where we discuss sewing, personal style, fashion, and more!"

...everything a femulating fashionista like myself loves to read about.

Peter's blog is interesting, amusing, and informative. Cathy Lane, Peter's identical cousin, models the woman's clothing that Peter sews (see photo above right).

Turns out that Cathy is really the girl that Peter wants to be  if he was a member of the opposite sex.

I love everything about Peter’s blog and I think you might like it, too!

Monday Musings

Feeding Femulate to Facebook

I have tried unsuccessfully to set up an RSS feed of this blog to my Facebook account.

Using Facebook’s “Import a Blog” function does not work. I've tried using it countless times, but each time, Facebook comes back with "Import Failed - We couldn't find a feed using the URL you provided."

http://www.femulate.org/feeds/posts/default is the URL of the feed. I know it is good, but Facebook does not like it.

I have sent Facebook a bug report, but so far, I have not received a response.

If anyone has any clues about why I cannot get this to work, I would appreciate hearing from you?

Outfit

I displayed the outfit on the right all weekend long in the blog’s “Femulate Her:” slot because I like it a lot.

I can definitely see me wearing it. I already have most of the pieces to put something similar together; I only lack the hosiery.

Maybe I can buy the hosiery before my next outing en femme.

Feeling the Femulation Effect

Having spent four days last week en femme, I again feel the “femulation effect,” i.e., I want to femulate more often... like 24/7 for the rest of my life!

Helping Our Trans Sisters and Brothers

At Fantasia Fair, Tanya Duval was one of the girls who recognized me from my blog photos. She introduced herself and we chatted.

Tanya told me how she is involved with a group that helps low and no income transgendered people in Massachusetts.

"The Transgender Emergency Fund (TEF) was created to provide critical assistance to low-income transgender people. Through the fund’s intervention, transpeople in Massachusetts have been able to avoid homelessness, maintain access to health care, and live with greater dignity and stability."

With winter approaching, TEF needs funds now to help T-people to make it through the harsh weather.

To help raise funds, TEF published a cool calendar. Titled "Unbound By Body", the 2011 calendar features portraits of transgender community members, both male-to-female and female-to-male from throughout Massachusetts. The portraits are amazing, the femulations are excellent (Tanya herself appears as a June bride), and the female-to-male transformations are spot-on, too. (The photo above is a sample image from the calendar.)

The calendar costs only $10 plus $3 for shipping and handling. You can purchase it here and help support a great cause that assists our trans sisters and brothers.

My Name and Facebook

When I changed my name from Staci to Stana back in May, I tried to change my name on Facebook to no avail. (Facebook insisted that Stana was not my real name!)

I gave up trying, but I revisited the issue today.

I was not able to change my name to Stana, but it did allow me to add Stana as an "alternate name." So now if someone searches for "Stana" on Facebook, they will find me.

By the way, my new name was a big hit at Fantasia Fair. The only issue was that some people pronounced it by rhyming Stana with Donna, while others pronounced it by rhyming Stana with Vanna. I think I prefer the latter, but I am ok with the former, too.

Fantasia Fair 2010: A Half-Week of Memories

These are random thoughts and memories of my half-week at Fantasia Fair.

***

Saturday, there were heavy winds in our neck of the woods of Connecticut. When I went grocery shopping that day, I did not wear outerwear and felt chilled after my outing.

Wake up Sunday and I felt like a cold was coming on — perfect timing for Fantasia Fair.

I loaded up on zinc lozenges, vitamin C, oranges, orange juice, and allergy meds and managed to stave off a cold. Monday I had some congestion in my throat and a headache, but by Tuesday, I was all better.

***

I have only one complaint about Fantasia Fair: the map they provide to get around to the different venues is not too helpful. I am very good at map-reading, but the Fantasia Fair map got me lost twice during my half-week.

The problem is that the map is too general. For example, if venue X is on Commercial Street, the map should clearly indicate that X is on Commercial Street. Instead, the map indicated that X was located somewhere in a block bordered by Commercial, Bradford, and Standish Streets.

Hoofing in heels, you need accurate maps especially if you are a newcomer or infrequent attendee to the Fantasia Fair venues.

To make matters worse, the venue was actually in a bar named Y that is attached to the B & B named X!

***

Tuesday afternoon, I was signed up to attend the "Essence of Style: Image Consulting" workshop run by Hera Navassardian in her Klymaxx Unlimited boutique on Commercial Street. Hera is an expert makeup artist, one year younger than I, but looks 15 to 20 years younger. She is a real classy lady and even served pink champagne during her workshop.

After pouring champagne, she asked us our names and was interested in mine because it was unusual like hers.

Then she asked us our concerns.

I said that I am never sure of my fashion sense and as an example, I proffered the outfit I wore that day: gray cable sweater dress, pink floral scarf, brown tights, black "ghillie" slingbacks, and silver earrings.

She said I looked perfect.

I said jokingly, "Well, I guess I can leave now."

Hera than performed a makeover on my new friend Cosette.

During the makeover, she described the virtues of putting on a primer before putting on your makeup (but after putting on moisturizer). She claimed that the primer smoothed your face, which improved the application of makeup as well as helped the makeup to last longer on your face.

I had a sample of primer from Sephora in my makeup toolbox, so the next day, I tried it during my makeup regime and was sold on it. It definitely made my face feel smoother to the touch and made a big difference when I applied makeup over it, especially when I did my eyeshadows and eyeliner.

Later that day, I returned to Hera's shop to buy a bottle of primer.

***

The brick sidewalks and uneven pavement of Provincetown are unforgiving on high-heeled feet, so I wore flats and carried my heels in a bag whenever I had to walk any farther than two or three blocks between my B & B and various venues. My feet thanked me.

However, fashionista that I am, I decided to wear my gold booties out and about on Wednesday. By mid-afternoon, I was hurting and changed to flats when I revisited Hera's shop to buy primer.

My feet hurt so badly that I had to wear flats the rest of the day.

I learned my lesson and will never wear heels out and about for extended periods of time in future Provincetown visits.

***

I had an encounter with a "tranny chaser."

The chasers show up in Provincetown by the boatload during Fantasia Fair because we provide a lot of potential for chasing.

After the fashion show, Cosette and I went to the wine and dessert tasting party. When we arrived, a chaser had my friend Brigitte cornered. He was chatting her up the whole time we were at the party (about an hour).

When we decided to leave the party to go to a bar across the street, Brigitte managed to break free of the chaser. She told us that he was very rude because he assumed he could have his way with her just because Brigitte was transgendered.

We moved on to the bar and the chaser showed up shortly after we arrived. I was his next victim.

He tried to chat me up, but I would have none of it, so he moved on to his another victim.

***

My favorite dress at Fantasia Fair turned out to be the "Disco Dot Trapeze Dress" that I bought at the 11th hour at Fashion Bug. (My second favorite dress is the charcoal portrait collar dress in the photo at the top of this posting.)

The only problem is that I could not wear any of the bras I brought with me because the neckline of the dress revealed the bra straps. So I went braless.

Nobody noticed until I mentioned it to one girl and she was so impressed with what I had that she thought I was on hormones. She was even more impressed when I told her I was not on hormones.

***

I regret not modeling in the fashion show this year. A few people asked if I was modeling and were disappointed when I said I was not.

I planned not to model from the get-go because I wanted to avoid the rehearsals for the fashion show and thus, have a more relaxed Fantasia Fair this year.

Wait 'til next year.

Friday Not at Fantasia Fair

I had a great time at Fantasia Fair.

Although I only attended Sunday through Wednesday, I had a better time this year than the previous time I attended (in 2008), which was for a full week.

There are a lot of reasons for this.

Presentation

I looked forward to making a presentation (titled "Femulate: The 'Center of the Blog Universe'") because it gave me an opportunity to do something for the community. However, I was nervous beforehand and was glad that I was scheduled to present on Monday so as to avoid being nervous through Tuesday or Wednesday.

Although my presentation was lightly attended, it actually had the second best attendance of the four presentations in the same time slot.

My presentation was not recorded, but I have my notes and plan put together a summary of my presentation for all who may be interested.

Recognition

I was flattered by all the people (I lost count how many) who made a point to praise the blog. Some called it inspiring. Others claimed it encouraged them to go out en femme for the first time beyond their closets. A few even said that my blog was responsible for them coming to Fantasia Fair. Wow! 

Affirmation

Besides affirmation for the blog, I also received affirmation for my femulation. To be mistaken for a genetic female is probably the ultimate affirmation. It occurred more than once and it was even more significant since I was in the midst of other femulators, which should have given away the fact that I was a femulator, too.

Go figure, but I am not complaining and I still feel wonderful about it.

Friends

I met a lot of new people and made some new friends at Fantasia Fair. And I believe that a some of them may become good friends for a long time to come.

They say people come back to Fantasia Fair to get reacquainted with their friends. I can certainly identify with that reason for attending again next year.

Location

I stayed at a bed and breakfast (Chicago House) that was centrally located for all the Fantasia Fair activities. It was literally in the shadow of the Pilgrim Monument and less than a five minute walk to most of the Fair venues. It also had on-site vehicle parking, which is not always an option in downtown Provincetown.

It was my first time at a B & B and I enjoyed the experience. My hosts, Chris and Dennis, were friendly and very accommodating and being an animal person, I enjoyed the company of their two dogs and two birds.

Boxer Billy, bulldog Bandy, and I became great friends. They greeted me whenever I arrived back at the B&B and their presence also made it a little easier to be separated from my own canines.

Mother Nature

The weather was a big improvement over my first Fantasia Fair weather experience. It was sunny every day and the daytime temperatures ranged between the mid 50s to the low 60s. The evenings required outerwear, but during the daytime, it was so warm some days  that I went without.

Anticipation

I was full of anticipation before going to Fantasia Fair, but before turning in on Sunday night, I wondered if the four-hour trip and expended funds would be worth it.

My answer is "Yes! Yes! and yes!”

Photo caption: A group of us were chatting in front of the Crown & Anchor after Ethan St. Pierre's keynote speech on Tuesday. During the chat, I pulled out a camera to take photos and this is one that a passerby volunteered to take of the whole group. Left to right, there is Abby Saypen, a Fantasia Fair Director, Brigitte, a first-timer at the Fair, Ethan St. Pierre, myself, and Jan Brown, the Fantasia Fair program organizer.

Thursday Not at Fantasia Fair

Wednesday was such a full day that I had no time to post anything about my experiences that day at Fantasia Fair. (I did not get back to my room until after 1 AM and I immediately went to bed because I had to be on the road by 8 AM.)

I arrived back in Connecticut safe and sound at noon today. The trip from Fantasia Fair was smooth sailing, although I would have preferred to stay in Provincetown for the rest of the Fair!

I have a lot of catching up to do here and promise to do so during the next few days. So stay tuned, you won't want to miss it.

In the meantime, cast your eyes above on Dianne and Cosette along with me at the Tuesday night banquet. These are the two girls I wrote about in my previous post who mistook me for a genetic female.

As you can see, neither wears glasses, so they are either nearsighted and need glasses, which explains their mistake, or they have perfect eyesight, which means that I am doing something right occasionally.

Tuesday at Fantasia Fair

Another busy day, but a wonderful day in so many ways.

The compliments about this blog continued today. I was frequently embarrassed by the flattery.

It was also very affirming day for me in other ways.

Over dinner, I was chatting with two new friends, Cosette and Dianne, and we were discussing passing techniques. During our discussion, I mentioned how I always thought my voice was my weakness. They replied by saying my voice was perfect. And then they added that when they first saw me that they thought I was a genetic female!

Wow! I am still walking on air after those very, very kind words.

It is past midnight, I need to go to bed, but just a few words about the two photos accompanying this post.

The first photo is me with Ethan St. Pierre early this afternoon after Ethan gave today's keynote address. Ethan was this year's recipient of The Virginia Prince Transgender Pioneer Award, which is presented at Fantasia Fair each year.

The second photo is me at the The Virginia Prince Transgender Pioneer Award Banquet this evening.

Monday Afternoon at Fantasia Fair

Monday afternoon I presented "Femulate: The 'Center of the Blog Universe'" Fantasia Fair. My presentation was lightly attended, but the attendees were enthusiastic and interested in what I had to say.

***

So far, Fantasia Fair has massaged my ego. I have lost count how many people have come up to me to tell me how much they like this blog. Strangers, who recognize me from my profile photo. as well as some of the leaders in the trans community have let me have it in a good way.

***

Attending an event like Fantasia Fair is very time-consuming. There is something to do that you want to do from dusk to dawn dawn to dusk and beyond. As a result, there is not much time to blog, so my blog posts will be short until I return home later this week.

Monday Morning at Fantasia Fair

Here I am ready to go out Monday morning to attend the orientation brunch at Fantasia Fair.

Sunday at Fantasia Fair

I arrived in Provincetown after a four hour road-trip, which was uneventful.

This evening, I wore my portrait collar dress (see photo) and attended the Fantasia Fair welcoming reception, where I ran into old acquaintances and met new acquaintances. I was surprised how many people (all strangers) came up to me to say they read and enjoy my blog.

I will write more later; it is 11:35 PM and I must get some sleep.

Packed

Hurray! I finished packing for my trip to Provincetown for Fantasia Fair.

Tomorrow, I will load the car with my luggage and get on the road mid-morning. I should arrive at my destination mid-afternoon.

In the Way

This blog has suffered the last few days because my life got in the way.

A lot of stuff has hit the proverbial fan during the last few days. Nothing bad — just time-consuming stuff I have to deal with before I travel to Provincetown for Fantasia Fair on Sunday.

So please stay tuned; we will return to our regular programming shortly.

In His LBD

A Shopping Date

My Next Career

I want to be Vanna White when I grow up.

What a dream job she has!

• Wear a new gorgeous outfit every day

• Have a personal hair stylist and makeup artist

• Work 2.5 hours per week

• Travel across the USA

• Wear a new gorgeous outfit every day

I am ready to step into Vanna's high heels at a moment's notice if she decides to retire from the Wheel gig.

Less Womanless

You may have noticed the dearth of womanless events here lately.

It certainly is not because I lack new material. You readers have continued to send me links to womanless events and I thank you for that.

The reason I have not been covering womanless events here lately is because the more womanless events I see, the more I am turned off by them.

In my opinion, a lot of the womanless events disrespect women. This is especially true in the cases when you have a gang of good old boys down at the local men's club, who decide to raise money by putting on ill-fitting dresses and fright wigs to imitate women. Their imitations are such caricatures of women that they result in ridiculing women(intentionally or not).

This offends me.

On the other hand, there are some womanless events that do a better job; where the "gals" make a real effort to look and act like women. I am often in awe of them and appreciate the time and effort that the participants invest in their femulations.

Anyway, I have decided to separate the wheat from the chaff. The high class womanless events will still find a place in my blog, but the events that ridicule women will not.