Fantasia Fair 2010: A Half-Week of Memories

These are random thoughts and memories of my half-week at Fantasia Fair.

***

Saturday, there were heavy winds in our neck of the woods of Connecticut. When I went grocery shopping that day, I did not wear outerwear and felt chilled after my outing.

Wake up Sunday and I felt like a cold was coming on — perfect timing for Fantasia Fair.

I loaded up on zinc lozenges, vitamin C, oranges, orange juice, and allergy meds and managed to stave off a cold. Monday I had some congestion in my throat and a headache, but by Tuesday, I was all better.

***

I have only one complaint about Fantasia Fair: the map they provide to get around to the different venues is not too helpful. I am very good at map-reading, but the Fantasia Fair map got me lost twice during my half-week.

The problem is that the map is too general. For example, if venue X is on Commercial Street, the map should clearly indicate that X is on Commercial Street. Instead, the map indicated that X was located somewhere in a block bordered by Commercial, Bradford, and Standish Streets.

Hoofing in heels, you need accurate maps especially if you are a newcomer or infrequent attendee to the Fantasia Fair venues.

To make matters worse, the venue was actually in a bar named Y that is attached to the B & B named X!

***

Tuesday afternoon, I was signed up to attend the "Essence of Style: Image Consulting" workshop run by Hera Navassardian in her Klymaxx Unlimited boutique on Commercial Street. Hera is an expert makeup artist, one year younger than I, but looks 15 to 20 years younger. She is a real classy lady and even served pink champagne during her workshop.

After pouring champagne, she asked us our names and was interested in mine because it was unusual like hers.

Then she asked us our concerns.

I said that I am never sure of my fashion sense and as an example, I proffered the outfit I wore that day: gray cable sweater dress, pink floral scarf, brown tights, black "ghillie" slingbacks, and silver earrings.

She said I looked perfect.

I said jokingly, "Well, I guess I can leave now."

Hera than performed a makeover on my new friend Cosette.

During the makeover, she described the virtues of putting on a primer before putting on your makeup (but after putting on moisturizer). She claimed that the primer smoothed your face, which improved the application of makeup as well as helped the makeup to last longer on your face.

I had a sample of primer from Sephora in my makeup toolbox, so the next day, I tried it during my makeup regime and was sold on it. It definitely made my face feel smoother to the touch and made a big difference when I applied makeup over it, especially when I did my eyeshadows and eyeliner.

Later that day, I returned to Hera's shop to buy a bottle of primer.

***

The brick sidewalks and uneven pavement of Provincetown are unforgiving on high-heeled feet, so I wore flats and carried my heels in a bag whenever I had to walk any farther than two or three blocks between my B & B and various venues. My feet thanked me.

However, fashionista that I am, I decided to wear my gold booties out and about on Wednesday. By mid-afternoon, I was hurting and changed to flats when I revisited Hera's shop to buy primer.

My feet hurt so badly that I had to wear flats the rest of the day.

I learned my lesson and will never wear heels out and about for extended periods of time in future Provincetown visits.

***

I had an encounter with a "tranny chaser."

The chasers show up in Provincetown by the boatload during Fantasia Fair because we provide a lot of potential for chasing.

After the fashion show, Cosette and I went to the wine and dessert tasting party. When we arrived, a chaser had my friend Brigitte cornered. He was chatting her up the whole time we were at the party (about an hour).

When we decided to leave the party to go to a bar across the street, Brigitte managed to break free of the chaser. She told us that he was very rude because he assumed he could have his way with her just because Brigitte was transgendered.

We moved on to the bar and the chaser showed up shortly after we arrived. I was his next victim.

He tried to chat me up, but I would have none of it, so he moved on to his another victim.

***

My favorite dress at Fantasia Fair turned out to be the "Disco Dot Trapeze Dress" that I bought at the 11th hour at Fashion Bug. (My second favorite dress is the charcoal portrait collar dress in the photo at the top of this posting.)

The only problem is that I could not wear any of the bras I brought with me because the neckline of the dress revealed the bra straps. So I went braless.

Nobody noticed until I mentioned it to one girl and she was so impressed with what I had that she thought I was on hormones. She was even more impressed when I told her I was not on hormones.

***

I regret not modeling in the fashion show this year. A few people asked if I was modeling and were disappointed when I said I was not.

I planned not to model from the get-go because I wanted to avoid the rehearsals for the fashion show and thus, have a more relaxed Fantasia Fair this year.

Wait 'til next year.

Friday Not at Fantasia Fair

I had a great time at Fantasia Fair.

Although I only attended Sunday through Wednesday, I had a better time this year than the previous time I attended (in 2008), which was for a full week.

There are a lot of reasons for this.

Presentation

I looked forward to making a presentation (titled "Femulate: The 'Center of the Blog Universe'") because it gave me an opportunity to do something for the community. However, I was nervous beforehand and was glad that I was scheduled to present on Monday so as to avoid being nervous through Tuesday or Wednesday.

Although my presentation was lightly attended, it actually had the second best attendance of the four presentations in the same time slot.

My presentation was not recorded, but I have my notes and plan put together a summary of my presentation for all who may be interested.

Recognition

I was flattered by all the people (I lost count how many) who made a point to praise the blog. Some called it inspiring. Others claimed it encouraged them to go out en femme for the first time beyond their closets. A few even said that my blog was responsible for them coming to Fantasia Fair. Wow! 

Affirmation

Besides affirmation for the blog, I also received affirmation for my femulation. To be mistaken for a genetic female is probably the ultimate affirmation. It occurred more than once and it was even more significant since I was in the midst of other femulators, which should have given away the fact that I was a femulator, too.

Go figure, but I am not complaining and I still feel wonderful about it.

Friends

I met a lot of new people and made some new friends at Fantasia Fair. And I believe that a some of them may become good friends for a long time to come.

They say people come back to Fantasia Fair to get reacquainted with their friends. I can certainly identify with that reason for attending again next year.

Location

I stayed at a bed and breakfast (Chicago House) that was centrally located for all the Fantasia Fair activities. It was literally in the shadow of the Pilgrim Monument and less than a five minute walk to most of the Fair venues. It also had on-site vehicle parking, which is not always an option in downtown Provincetown.

It was my first time at a B & B and I enjoyed the experience. My hosts, Chris and Dennis, were friendly and very accommodating and being an animal person, I enjoyed the company of their two dogs and two birds.

Boxer Billy, bulldog Bandy, and I became great friends. They greeted me whenever I arrived back at the B&B and their presence also made it a little easier to be separated from my own canines.

Mother Nature

The weather was a big improvement over my first Fantasia Fair weather experience. It was sunny every day and the daytime temperatures ranged between the mid 50s to the low 60s. The evenings required outerwear, but during the daytime, it was so warm some days  that I went without.

Anticipation

I was full of anticipation before going to Fantasia Fair, but before turning in on Sunday night, I wondered if the four-hour trip and expended funds would be worth it.

My answer is "Yes! Yes! and yes!”

Photo caption: A group of us were chatting in front of the Crown & Anchor after Ethan St. Pierre's keynote speech on Tuesday. During the chat, I pulled out a camera to take photos and this is one that a passerby volunteered to take of the whole group. Left to right, there is Abby Saypen, a Fantasia Fair Director, Brigitte, a first-timer at the Fair, Ethan St. Pierre, myself, and Jan Brown, the Fantasia Fair program organizer.

Thursday Not at Fantasia Fair

Wednesday was such a full day that I had no time to post anything about my experiences that day at Fantasia Fair. (I did not get back to my room until after 1 AM and I immediately went to bed because I had to be on the road by 8 AM.)

I arrived back in Connecticut safe and sound at noon today. The trip from Fantasia Fair was smooth sailing, although I would have preferred to stay in Provincetown for the rest of the Fair!

I have a lot of catching up to do here and promise to do so during the next few days. So stay tuned, you won't want to miss it.

In the meantime, cast your eyes above on Dianne and Cosette along with me at the Tuesday night banquet. These are the two girls I wrote about in my previous post who mistook me for a genetic female.

As you can see, neither wears glasses, so they are either nearsighted and need glasses, which explains their mistake, or they have perfect eyesight, which means that I am doing something right occasionally.

Tuesday at Fantasia Fair

Another busy day, but a wonderful day in so many ways.

The compliments about this blog continued today. I was frequently embarrassed by the flattery.

It was also very affirming day for me in other ways.

Over dinner, I was chatting with two new friends, Cosette and Dianne, and we were discussing passing techniques. During our discussion, I mentioned how I always thought my voice was my weakness. They replied by saying my voice was perfect. And then they added that when they first saw me that they thought I was a genetic female!

Wow! I am still walking on air after those very, very kind words.

It is past midnight, I need to go to bed, but just a few words about the two photos accompanying this post.

The first photo is me with Ethan St. Pierre early this afternoon after Ethan gave today's keynote address. Ethan was this year's recipient of The Virginia Prince Transgender Pioneer Award, which is presented at Fantasia Fair each year.

The second photo is me at the The Virginia Prince Transgender Pioneer Award Banquet this evening.

Monday Afternoon at Fantasia Fair

Monday afternoon I presented "Femulate: The 'Center of the Blog Universe'" Fantasia Fair. My presentation was lightly attended, but the attendees were enthusiastic and interested in what I had to say.

***

So far, Fantasia Fair has massaged my ego. I have lost count how many people have come up to me to tell me how much they like this blog. Strangers, who recognize me from my profile photo. as well as some of the leaders in the trans community have let me have it in a good way.

***

Attending an event like Fantasia Fair is very time-consuming. There is something to do that you want to do from dusk to dawn dawn to dusk and beyond. As a result, there is not much time to blog, so my blog posts will be short until I return home later this week.

Monday Morning at Fantasia Fair

Here I am ready to go out Monday morning to attend the orientation brunch at Fantasia Fair.

Sunday at Fantasia Fair

I arrived in Provincetown after a four hour road-trip, which was uneventful.

This evening, I wore my portrait collar dress (see photo) and attended the Fantasia Fair welcoming reception, where I ran into old acquaintances and met new acquaintances. I was surprised how many people (all strangers) came up to me to say they read and enjoy my blog.

I will write more later; it is 11:35 PM and I must get some sleep.

Packed

Hurray! I finished packing for my trip to Provincetown for Fantasia Fair.

Tomorrow, I will load the car with my luggage and get on the road mid-morning. I should arrive at my destination mid-afternoon.

In the Way

This blog has suffered the last few days because my life got in the way.

A lot of stuff has hit the proverbial fan during the last few days. Nothing bad — just time-consuming stuff I have to deal with before I travel to Provincetown for Fantasia Fair on Sunday.

So please stay tuned; we will return to our regular programming shortly.

In His LBD

A Shopping Date

My Next Career

I want to be Vanna White when I grow up.

What a dream job she has!

• Wear a new gorgeous outfit every day

• Have a personal hair stylist and makeup artist

• Work 2.5 hours per week

• Travel across the USA

• Wear a new gorgeous outfit every day

I am ready to step into Vanna's high heels at a moment's notice if she decides to retire from the Wheel gig.

Less Womanless

You may have noticed the dearth of womanless events here lately.

It certainly is not because I lack new material. You readers have continued to send me links to womanless events and I thank you for that.

The reason I have not been covering womanless events here lately is because the more womanless events I see, the more I am turned off by them.

In my opinion, a lot of the womanless events disrespect women. This is especially true in the cases when you have a gang of good old boys down at the local men's club, who decide to raise money by putting on ill-fitting dresses and fright wigs to imitate women. Their imitations are such caricatures of women that they result in ridiculing women(intentionally or not).

This offends me.

On the other hand, there are some womanless events that do a better job; where the "gals" make a real effort to look and act like women. I am often in awe of them and appreciate the time and effort that the participants invest in their femulations.

Anyway, I have decided to separate the wheat from the chaff. The high class womanless events will still find a place in my blog, but the events that ridicule women will not.

Accessorize Me

Packing for extended stays en femme is not a big deal. I always have a packing check list, annotated from the previous trip, that helps me avoid forgetting anything.

However, there is one sticking point that comes up every time I pack for an extended stay: what jewelry to pack?

When I get dressed, I often change my jewelry because I am wrong about what I thought would look good with the outfit I am wearing.

It is easy to change my mind about my jewelry when I dress at home because I have my vast collection of cosmetic jewelry on hand to pick and choose from. But I can't take my whole jewelry collection on the road, so I have to guess what will look good with the outfits I plan to wear.

If I already wore an outfit, I have a good idea how to accessorize because I know what worked (and/or what didn't work) last time out. But if I am wearing an outfit for the first time, I am not really sure what will work.

So, I always overpack jewelry-wise.

This is a big "problem" for my Fantasia Fair trip. I will be wearing five new outfits, so that means five unknown sets of accessorizing jewelry! As a result, I really overpacked my jewelry for this trip.

On the plus side, I don't wear as much jewelry as I used to wear. When I was a younger woman, I made sure I always wore earrings, a necklace, a bracelet, a ring or two, and a watch.

Now that I am a mature woman, I usually do not wear that full set of jewelry. I almost always wear earrings, but the necklace, bracelet, rings, and watch are optional depending on the outfit and whether or not I have to be aware of the time.

Anticipation

The anticipation is building!

One week from now, I will be making the four-hour roadtrip to Provincetown to attend my second Fantasia Fair.

Friday, I made a list of everything I have to pack. I figured I could fit it all into two pieces of luggage: a garment bag and a large suitcase. (I will also be taking my tackle box of cosmetics and my computer bag, so that is really four pieces of luggage. That is half the number I hauled to Provincetown two years ago, which make sense since I am going for only a half-week rather than a full-week as I did in 2008.)

Saturday, I packed all my outfits (dresses, skirts, tops, outerwear, and shoes) into the garment bag. That is the bulk of it, so the remainder should easily fit in one large suitcase, which I will pack next Saturday.

My plans for attending Fantasia Fair are loose. Two years ago, I stuck closely to the agenda. As a result, I was busy all the time. This year, I will pick and choose what I want to do, so I should have a more relaxed schedule.

Two things I cannot miss:

• My workshop on Monday afternoon

• An appointment for an image consultation on Tuesday afternoon

I also will not miss any meals and evening activities that are included in the attendance fee.

Other than that, anything goes!

Waiting For Him To Get Dolled-Up

He's Got To Go!

My "Needs"

I still "need" a cocktail dress for Fantasia Fair. I often think about the purple number that I found at Jessica McClintock's, but then I think about its $160 price tag and forget about it.

I was resigned to wearing an old dress that I had worn to a few special occasions in the past. I bought it at Fashion Bug and it always got rave reviews.

Yesterday, it suddenly occurred to me that I had not looked at what Fashion Bug had in their special occasions collection. So, I moseyed on over to their Web site and found just the dress for me!

During my lunch hour, I drove to the closest Fashion Bug store to buy my find, but they had none in stock. The store had a very poor selection of dresses; all their dresses were contained on one 8-foot rack.

Disappointed, I considered ordering online, but I worried since time was running out, I might not get the dress before my departure to Provincetown. And even if the dress showed up in time, there were no assurances that it would fit, so I decided not to order online.

However, I did not give up my quest. This morning, I began phoning other Fashion Bug stores in the area to see if they had the dress in stock. My first call was fruitful and I asked them to hold the dress for me.

I arrived at the store in boy mode during my lunch hour, asked for the dress, and found it to be as nice as I expected it to be. When I asked to try it on, the saleswoman (who had a few years on me) became flustered, hesitated, and then asked me if I wanted to try it on in the "ladies' dressing room" --- as if I had a choice --- Fashion Bug only has ladies' dressing rooms.

I affirmed that I wanted to try it on, so the saleswoman checked the dressing room to make sure no other women were using it. When she was sure it was all clear, she let me in.

I tried on the dress and it fit, so I paid for it and took my prized possession to my car.

The dress is a "Disco Dot Trapeze Dress" and the Fashion Bug web site describes it thusly: Draping knit dress in shimmering disco dots flows from its gathered neckline to just above your knees. Color: Plum" (see the accompanying photo).

A Payless shoe store was a few doors down from Fashion Bug. Since it is always hit and miss shopping for my size at Payless, I usually check out their current stock when I encounter one of their stores. And so I did today.

The saleswoman who greeted me as I entered the store was an old friend, who had been transferred from my neighborhood Payless store. We exchanged pleasantries and then she pointed me in the direction of the shoes in my size range.

I found one pair that interested me: a "Fioni J'Adore Pump" that the Payless web site describes as "Ooh la la! Go retro with this romantic pump. It features an elegant almond toe, sweet ruffle detail, lightly padded insole for comfort and flirty 3.75" wrapped heel with platform. Fabric and manmade materials" (see the accompanying photo).

The shoe color was navy, the fit was perfectly comfortable, and ooh la la, I did not hesitate to buy the pair.

So now I am all set for Fantasia Fair. I just have to pack.

The Girls of Cairo

Daniel Lismore wrote on his blog about his involvement in the casting of a pictorial for POP magazine featuring crossdressers from Cairo, Egypt. His blog post included photos from the pictorial.

The photos are wonderful (sample right). I invite you to visit his blog and view them all.

Thank you, Lorraine Goetsch, for alerting me to this story.

Dear Stana: How Do You Use T-Dar?

Dear Stana,

What do you in the following situation: You're at Fantasia Fair and a trans-woman walks by, but her female presentation is poor. If there are no people around so as not to embarrass her, would you consider offering suggestions to her to improve her presentation?

I have often wondered what would you do.

A Reader


Dear Reader.

I have written about using trans-radar before, but it will do no harm (and maybe some good) if I write about it again.

Trans-radar, or T-Dar for short, is the ability to detect a trans-person when they are presenting in their non-birth gender. For example, you see a tall woman walking through the mall. Suddenly, your T-Dar kicks in and you begin looking for clues that the woman is actually a natal male presenting as a female.

No matter how good you think your T-Dar may be, you seldom have an opportunity to determine whether your T-Dar works correctly or not.

You can confront a suspected trans-person, but that can be disastrous, especially if you are wrong.

I recall reading about a trans-woman who encountered two tall women while shopping. Her T-Dar told her that the two women were trans and she confronted them by introducing herself as trans and saying something to the effect, "You're trans, too, aren't you?"

The two women reacted as if the trans-woman had just gotten off a spaceship from Neptune. They had no idea what she was talking about and when it became apparent to the trans-woman that she had erred, she wished that she was on Neptune.

And even if your T-Dar is correct confronting a suspected trans-person can be a sensitive matter.

Last time I attended the First Event trans convention, I arrived at the hotel in boy mode and took the elevator to the floor to register for the event. The elevator stopped before reaching my destination and a trans-woman got on. I was 101% positive that she was trans and without thinking, I asked her if she was enjoying First Event.

She was taken aback by my query and seemed very uncomfortable. I immediately realized the error of my ways and explained to her that I was trans too, but having just arrived at the hotel, had not changed into girl mode yet. She seemed a little relieved, but I learned a lesson and would think twice before doing that again.

It is probably best that using your T-Dar be a solitary thing. Keep your T-Dar findings to yourself unless, of course, you write a trans-blog, then you can publicize your T-Dar results. ("Yesterday, I saw a trans-woman in ladies' shoes at Macy's.")

On the other hand, I have had trans-women ask me for advice or to give them my opinion about their presentation on occasion. I am always honored when they ask me and I do my best to give them honest advice or a true opinion.

But I would never offer unsolicited advice or opinion to a trans-woman. First and foremost, she is a woman. Would you ever consider giving unsolicited advice or opinion to a non-trans-woman who you happen to encounter anywhere anytime? Of course not because it would be extremely rude. Just because the other woman may be trans is no reason to throw good manners out the window.

Enough said!

By the way, I believe that most trans-people have T-Dar. It almost comes naturally because trans-people look for affirmation that there are other trans-people out there. What better way to affirm that then to actually see another trans-person in person? Seeking that affirmation, trans-people check out potential suspects wherever they go.

Even when my T-Dar determines that the six-foot woman walking through the mall is, in fact, a genetic female, it provides a different kind of affirmation. It affirms that there are genuine tall women out there and as a six-foot-plus trans-woman, it gives me encouragement to go out en femme and join the other tall women out there because I am not alone.

Best Wishes,

Stana

Do you need advice concerning femulation or other crossdressing-related matters, then e-mail me and I will happily give you my opinion on the matter. My e-mail address is stana-stana at sbcglobal.net.